Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[DD Martin]

I was a little worried with the start of the season that my Vegas ticket of under total wins was going to be bad. But it seems with the recent string of play that a sub 500 record is looking more likely and I will (unfortunately) be cashing in a winning ticket.

Its hard to break out of it when a team gets on a mediocrity cycle like it seems the team currently is in.

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by DD Martin

I was a little worried with the start of the season that my Vegas ticket of under total wins was going to be bad. But it seems with the recent string of play that a sub 500 record is looking more likely and I will (unfortunately) be cashing in a winning ticket.

Its hard to break out of it when a team gets on a mediocrity cycle like it seems the team currently is in.

Yeah you just wait and see them go 83-79 out of spite...!

+++

No, Nick, there is no hope. – No, Nick, none. – Yes, if the Raccoons win the next eight games against the damn Elks, they will be ahead of them. – Have you actually *seen* them play recently??

Raccoons (40-41) vs. Canadiens (47-35) – July 1-4, 2041

First in runs scored, third in runs allowed, the damn Elks were in our place to make us suffer, without a doubt. There was no way for the limp Raccoons to do anything much here. They couldn’t beat the Loggers, they couldn’t beat the Titans, they for sure couldn’t beat the damn Elks. Yes, the season series was tied at two. No, there was still no hope.

Projected matchups:
Angelo Montano (2-5, 4.68 ERA) vs. Eric Weitz (7-6, 4.17 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (6-8, 4.47 ERA) vs. Mike Mihalik (7-5, 3.39 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (5-7, 4.63 ERA) vs. David Arias (6-3, 3.15 ERA)
Josh Brown (7-2, 3.29 ERA) vs. Paul Medvec (2-5, 4.52 ERA)

We continued to dance our way around left-handers, missing their sole representative of that race, Alexander Lewis (6-4, 4.76 ERA).

Dan Schneller (.356, 9 HR, 39 RBI) was still on the DL, but Jerry Outram (.367, 16 HR, 49 RBI) was salivating to do horrible things to the Critters.

Game 1
VAN: 2B Sprague – C Clemente – CF Outram – LF J. Becker – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – SS Cabral – 3B R. Ashley – P Weitz
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – LF Reyna – SS Nickas – P Montano

Base hits by Victor Vazquez, Johnny Lopez, and Ray Ashley gave the damn Elks two early runs against Montano, who had never been expected to get a W in this game to begin with. We would, however, have hoped for something other than just rolling over and taking it. Justin Becker added a homer to begin the third inning, and then the damn Elks socked *another* four hits off him for two more runs. He even walked Weitz with two outs and two aboard, but Glenn Sprague popped out to strand the bases loaded. Timóteo Clemente added another solo homer to begin the fourth inning, and Montano was actually not removed by the manager or by the crowd showing thumbs down, but by Dr. Padilla when he kept rotating his arm weirdly between pitches in the fifth inning.

At that point, the Raccoons had two base hits to their name and no runs on the board, so the white flag went up and Travis Sims was inserted as reliever, surprisingly getting six outs without doubling the 6-0 score. The Raccoons even got a few markers after all in the seventh, with Trawick and Balaski reaching base ahead of a 2-run triple in the gap by Miguel Reyna. In response, Brent Clark issued a leadoff walk to Weitz in the eighth, then gave up another circuit blast to Clemente. 8-2 Canadiens. Balaski 2-3, 2B; Reyna 2-3, 3B, 2 RBI; Sims 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

The verdict on Angelo Montano was shoulder tendinitis and a DL assignment that would stretch well into August. Oh no. How will we live.

With Montano to the DL, the Raccoons brought up a spare reliever in left-hander Zack Kelly, a fourth-rounder way back in 2035 that had never seen the majors so far. The 25-year-old had a 4.18 ERA in AAA, walking 4.7/9.

Game 2
VAN: 3B Obando – C Clemente – CF Outram – LF J. Becker – 1B J. Lopez – 2B Sprague – RF Pincus – SS R. Ashley – P Mihalik
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Reyna – SS Nickas – P Chavez

The Raccoons had no base hits through three innings, which was one of those things that filled you with sadness until there wasn’t any room for more sadness and you had to start to drink, all the while Nick Valdes sat one cushion over and was muttering on and on about how the Raccoons had no players that could win anything. Well, at least in that he was right. Bernie Chavez danced around leadoff doubles in the first two innings, put runners on the corners in the third, then decided to fall Glenn Sprague and Ray Ashley being on base in the fourth with two outs, and Mihalik lining a triple to score both of them past Maldonado for the first markers on the board.

Back-to-back doubles leading off the fifth by Clemente and Outram made it a 3-0 game, while the Raccoons were still hitless when Bernie was pinch-hit for to begin the bottom 6th, having offered 104 pitches for nine hits, most of them for extra bases. Nettles struck out in his spot, but a Sprague throwing error put Cosmo on second with two outs and Manny Fernandez came through in more ways than one, singling in the run with a looper to shallow center. Maldonado then flew out to Roy Pincus to quickly end the inning before the fans would get ideas or before Nick Valdes would stop muttering. Zack Kelly made his debut in the seventh, facing none other than Jerry Outram for his first batter – and struck him out. He completed the inning, even though Nick Valdes asked three times who that guy was, and was told twice that he was the newest rookie reliever fed into the meat grinder. Levis and Reyna then hit singles in the bottom 7th. Balaski hit for Nickas, but flew out easily, while Trawick batted for Kelly and grounded out – well, no, Mihalik lossed the ball in translation, then kicked it into no man’s land, and the Raccoons had the bases loaded. Given Reyna’s speed on second base, the Raccoons were a 2-out single from Berto away from tying the game. Berto instead walked, pushing in just one run, but Cosmo then singled and cashed two to flip the score. Manny lined out to end the inning. Alex Ramirez maintained the 4-3 edge in the eighth, and Maldonado added to it with a homer to begin the bottom 8th against Marcus Goode. Then came Hamill and allowed a leadoff double to Guillermo Obando in the ninth. Clemente made a cozy out, and Outram flew over to Manny, who dropped the ball and put the tying runs on the corners. ET TU, MANUEL?? Becker’s fly to center scored the lead runner, but importantly kept Outram on first for switch-hitter Johnny Lopez, who struck out. 5-4 Critters. Ramos 0-1, 3 BB, RBI;

Zack Kelly, the debutee, got the W!

Kel-ly! – Nick, are you being intentionally obtuse? He’s a ******* rookie! – How is it my fault if you don’t know the players in our system??

Game 3
VAN: 3B Obando – 2B Sprague – CF Outram – LF J. Becker – 1B J. Lopez – C Dear – RF DeVita – SS Cabral – P D. Arias
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Reyna – SS Nickas – P Moreno

For the second day in a row, Maldonado went deep to right, this time for a 2-run homer in the first inning, plating Manny. Could have been three if Berto hadn’t been caught stealing, but are we counting peas or what? Nels faced the minimum through three innings, despite leadoff singles by Obando and Becker in the first two. Both were doubled off. – No, Nick, I don’t know how many peas are in this can. – Yes, you can count them if you want to. Keeps you busy.

Portland loaded the sacks with no outs in the bottom 3rd, so there was definitely trouble ahead; Moreno was brushed by a pitch, Berto reached on a Sprague error, and Cosmo boringly singled. Everybody went station to station on a Manny Fernandez single, 3-0, and another run scored the hard way when Arias NAILED Maldonado. And I mean it – Maldonado winced and cried all the way to first base, then insisted on getting his blanky for running the bases. Only one more run scored on a Morales groundout. The remaining runners froze on Levis’ comebacker to Arias, and Reyna flew out to Outram, who then drove in Obando in the top 4th to get the damn Elks back into slam range, 5-1. Another run scored in the fifth, Victor Vazquez hitting for Arias with Marc DeVita and Cabral in scoring position and hitting a sac fly. Moreno walked Obando, but then got Sprague to fly out to Manny to end the inning before it could get *really* ugly. Not that Moreno was done crumbling the lead away – Johnny Lopez hit a solo homer in the sixth, 5-3. He tumbled through the seventh without allowing a run and without being undone by a Reyna error, either. DeVita and Obando were left on the corners when Sprague grounded out to Steve Nickas.

That was it for Moreno; Chuck Jones replaced him to begin the eighth and whiffed Outram and Becker. He walked Lopez, but Tim Zimmerman got Matt Dear to pop out to end the inning. The Raccoons were still content with their early work and neglected tacking on, so Wyatt Hamill was in another 5-3 game in the ninth, this time facing the bottom of the order, though. DeVita hit an infield single to begin the inning. Annoyed already, Hamill tugged around on his aggressive moustache, then struck out the next three batters to force an end to the game. 5-3 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4; Fernandez 2-4, RBI;

1,208 peas. – Good to know, Nick.

Game 4
VAN: SS Obando – C Clemente – CF Outram – LF J. Becker – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – 2B Cabral – 3B R. Ashley – P Medvec
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – RF Balaski – 1B Reyna – SS Trawick – P Brown

Before we could even dream about a series win, Josh Brown was obliterated in the first inning. Obando and Clemente walked, and while Outram missed another chance to become truly reviled around here, Becker doubled in a run, Vazquez doubled in two, and Lopez landed a single to make it 4-0. Cabral and Ashley finally made outs to end the barrage. Bill Balaski would hit a solo homer in the second, but Brown met his grisly end in the following inning. The bags were shuffled full, and then Ray Ashley emptied them with a bases-clearing triple to put the game’s score at 7-1, and thus the game out of reach, as Slappy and me agreed. “Not like this!”, declared Nick Valdes, stood up, and stormed out.

The Raccoons did not immediately react in a major way to trailing badly, although exploding for another half-dozen or so was never out of the question with them. The next marker on the board though was a Balaski sac fly, plating Manny Fernandez in the fourth. Yay, only five runs down! Then Ramon Cabral whacked a 2-run homer off Lindstrom in the fifth to make it seven… Not that it stopped there – Travis Sims cameoed for another two innings, throwing 51 pitches and giving up two more runs he had walked on base before giving up a screaming double to Roy Pincus… Zack Kelly was taken deep by Outram in the eighth to make the dozen full, and no, the Raccoons were still not even faking an attempt at making it at least interesting. Kelly pitched the final two innings before his upcoming return to St. Pete (we needed a fifth starter after all). 12-2 Canadiens. Balaski 2-3, HR, 2 RBI; Lando (PH) 2-2;

Raccoons (42-43) vs. Indians (34-50) – July 5-7, 2041

The Indians were pretty much the only team not routinely trampling the Critters in this division now. We led the season series, 7-1, not that we could buy anything from that. Being in the bottom four in both runs scored and runs allowed was never great, but then again their run differential (-57) and ours (-51) were frighteningly similar…

Projected matchups:
Drew Johnson (4-7, 3.34 ERA) vs. Ayden Cobb (4-5, 3.94 ERA)
Corey Mathers (0-0) vs. Alex Flores (6-9, 4.82 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (6-8, 4.47 ERA) vs. Luke Moses (1-3, 4.61 ERA)

Still, only more right-handers.

The Raccoons found another underdone rookie to press into service in 22-year-old Corey Mathers, our 2039 first-rounder (and also a right-hander). He had a 2.47 ERA with the Alley Cats (with a generous .246 BABIP), was consensus not ready, but I *tried* shaking the big willow between the ballpark and the Willamette and no starting pitcher fell out of it. I just hurt my back.

Game 1
IND: CF Crocker – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – LF D. Rivera – 1B Dodson – 2B Sanderfer – C Alfonso – SS Huber – P Cobb
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – SS Nickas – P Johnson

The Coons had Manny on base in the first, but he was caught stealing. Cobb faced the minimum until Drew Johnson singled. The bases then filled up quickly with a walk to Berto and a Cosmo single, bringing back Manny, who flew out to Nick Crocker in deep center, keeping the game scoreless through three innings. Johnson was on six strikeouts through three, and reached seven in the fourth. Pat Dodson singled, but was caught stealing, too. The Raccoons then took the lead after all when Tony Morales ripped a jack to right in the bottom of the inning, 1-0.

Johnson held on through six, pitching a 3-hitter he wouldn’t finish because of stamina, and the rest of the Raccoons kept slowly crawling along on the linescore, too. Maldonado hit a double, Morales walked, and while Levis was no help, Bill Balaski knocked a 2-out RBI double to also double the score, 2-0. The Indians then walked Steve Nickas – hitting a strong .077 – intentionally to load the bases for Johnson. The Raccoons reached for a pinch-hitter against right-handed reliever Orlando Altreche; Jeff Kilmer struck out.

Alex Ramirez held Indy away in the seventh, after which the Coons’ 1-2-3 all hit singles in the bottom 7th. Manny singled home Berto, 3-0, then was forced out on Maldonado’s fielder’s choice. Maldo stole second instead, then scored behind Cosmo on a Morales single to left, which was also the end for Altreche. The Raccoons were 5-0 ahead, then tried to make the game as close as possible in the ninth inning. Mario Ochoa led off with a homer off Brent Clark, who retired the next two before yielding for Zimmerman for an array of right-handers that almost chewed up Zimmerman once more. Dodson doubled. Alex Sanderfer singled him in, reaching second base on a throw to home plate. Edwin Alfonso singled to left … and Manny Fernandez ended the game, throwing out a meandering Sanderfer at home plate. 5-2 Coons. Trevino 2-5; Morales 2-3, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Balaski 2-4, 2B, RBI; Johnson 6.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 7 K, W (5-7) and 1-2;

Game 2
IND: CF Crocker – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – LF D. Rivera – 1B Dodson – C Mordino – 2B Sanderfer – SS E. Vargas – P A. Flores
POR: RF Balaski – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – 2B Lando – SS Nickas – P Mathers

Mathers retired the Indians in order in the first, but Danny Rivera and Pat Dodson reached the corners to begin the second inning on a walk and a single, respectively. Sal Mordino hit into a double play, 6-4-3, with Rivera scoring to give the Arrowheads a 1-0 lead. Portland loaded the bases in the bottom of the inning, but only with two outs, and Levis, Lando (who had forced out Morales at third base), and Nickas had to be drive in by the debutee pitcher at the plate. He popped out to second. Rivera instead tripled home Crocker and Ochoa in the third inning, extending the gap to 3-0.

Then it got silent around the Critters, who didn’t do much until the bottom 6th, when Cosmo and Manny opened with a pair of singles to bring the tying run to the plate. The worst fears became true – Flores leaked a walk to Maldonado, and we had three on with nobody out. Woe is us! Tony Morales singled up the middle, narrowly missing Enrique Vargas’ glove, scoring the team’s first run in this game. Levis popped out, while Lando coaxed a bases-loaded walk from Flores, narrowing the gap to 3-2. Nickas had to be hit for if we were still serious about playing to win, but Berto croaked with a grounder to short that killed the inning. Mathers lasted seven innings on 100 pitches, then was hit for to begin the bottom 7th. Jake Trawick ripped a single in his spot, becoming the tying run on base. Balaski singled to move that run to second base, and both advanced on Cosmo’s groundout to Adam Huber at second base. Manny hit a fly to deep center, but couldn’t beat Crocker – it was good enough to take the debutee off the hook, though, bringing in Trawick on a sac fly, 3-3. Maldo walked, Morales struck out, leaving Mathers with a no-decision.

The game remained tied through eight, while in the ninth Lindstrom shuffled the bags full with Mordino, Huber, and Vargas. Left-hander Carlos de Santiago pinch-hit in the #9 spot, prompting an appearance from Wyatt Hamill in a double switch, with de Santiago flying out to left to strand everybody and their mother. The game went to extras after Cosmo singled in the bottom 9th and was caught stealing to end it. Hamill held up in the 10th, with Manny Fernandez tripling to right to lead off the bottom 10th against Fernando Nora. But now, boys! Now! Yes, indeed. Maldo flew out to center, but well deep and bringing in Manny Fernandez to win the game. 4-3 Raccoons. Trevino 2-5; Fernandez 2-4, 3B, RBI; Maldonado 1-2, 2 BB, RBI; Trawick (PH) 1-1;

Back to a winning record …!

Manny Fernandez got a second off day this week after being sent to the All Star Game.

Game 3
IND: CF Crocker – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – LF D. Rivera – 1B Dodson – C Mordino – 2B Sanderfer – SS E. Vargas – P Moses
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Maldonado – C Kilmer – RF Balaski – 1B Levis – CF Nettles – SS Trawick – P Chavez

Position players on either side seemed like they were emotionally already in the All Star break. There was a splattering of singles on both sides, but nobody scored through five innings. Bernie had allowed three hits, whiffing four, then added two more strikeouts of Ochoa and Hutson in the sixth. Dodson singled and Mordino walked in the seventh; Sanderfer popped out in foul ground for the second out, and Vargas was rung up to complete seven. Crocker would be the final K for Bernie Chavez, who lasted eight innings on 108 pitches, allowing no runs on five hits… and the Raccoons couldn’t be further from giving him a W yet. Fernando Nora replaced Moses for the bottom 8th, allowed a single to Kilmer with one out, but Balaski forced out the runner and Levis also grounded out. Lindstrom got around a 2-out double by Mordino in the ninth to keep the Arrowheads shut out, still enabling a Raccoons walkoff in regulation. Facing left-hander Joe Robinson, the Raccoons sent Lando to bat for Nettles, and the hardly useful second-sacker legged out a slow roller for a leadoff single. Trawick hit a solid single to center, with Lando having to stop at second base. Manny hit for Lindstrom and singled to right, but again the defender was right on the play and Lando had to stop. The bags were now full for Berto … with nobody out, which might yet doom the effort. The count ran full, and Berto added to that OBP by laying off a low ball four, ending the game. 1-0 Blighters. Ramos 2-2, 3 BB, RBI; Balaski 2-4, 2B; Lando (PH) 1-1; Trawick 2-3, BB; Fernandez (PH) 1-1; Chavez 8.0 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 8 K;

In other news

July 1 – The Bayhawks score in each of their eight batting innings while pummelling the Knights, 14-6.
July 2 – DAL SP Alfredo Vargas (5-6, 4.89 ERA) is out for the year with a torn back muscle.
July 6 – Charlotte INF/RF/LF Jose Farfan (.302, 9 HR, 51 RBI) is out for the season after tearing his medial collateral ligament.
July 6 – The Crusaders pound the Canadiens for 24 base hits and still lose the game, 11-10 in 17 innings. New York’s Jose Platero (.277, 5 HR, 23 RBI) goes 5-for-9 without driving in a run and scoring just once, while Vancouver’s Timóteo Clemente (.264, 14 HR, 58 RBI) drives in a game-high six runs on four hits despite being double-switched out while the game is still in regulation.

FL Player of the Week: TOP INF/LF/RF Felix Marquez (.335, 5 HR, 25 RBI), batting .519 (14-27) with 1 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: NYC RF/LF Jose Platero (.290, 6 HR, 25 RBI), hitting .536 (15-28) with 2 HR, 9 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Manny Fernandez is one of three All Stars this year – he’ll be making his fourth trip. Also going were – get this – Chuck Jones (2nd All Star Game) and Alex Ramirez (freshman). How THIS team got two relievers to the All Star Game is entirely beyond me.

Corey Mathers’ debut was *decent*. Five hits, three walks, three runs, five strikeouts in seven innings. Yes, it was only the Indians, but it was better than nothing. Not that we ever *planned* to have him up now, but Angelo Montano threw all four paws up and we need a warm body.

Who would have thought the Raccoons would win ANY season series this year, let alone before the All Star Game? We have taken 10 of 11 against the Indians now. We’re also two over .500 again and only 4 1/2 games out, the -46 run differential be damned!

Tony Hunter suffered a setback and will take another week longer than anticipated to rejoin the team. But, you know, Steve Nickas is everything you can want in a baseball player… Solid .107 batter, strong 0-for-2 in stealing bases, and almost league average defense at short! These are the players that will let you know that a franchise is forsaken and will never get anywhere, when they keep giving those players at-bats year after year. This is Nickas’ sixth year on the roster, and he’s a sturdy .194/.321/.232 hitter with 1 HR and 16 RBI. Also 2-for-7 in stealing.

Since we’re on marginal hitting…

Fun Fact: Only eight batters in Raccoons history have had a least as many career at-bats as Nick Lando while hitting for a worse OPS.

The list was longer last time! And he had a few clutch hits recently, like a walkoff single last week and scoring the walkoff run himself after a leadoff single on Sunday, but … well, we’re waiting for Arturo Carreno to turn his bat into something we dare to show off in public.

The list? Cal Lyon tops the list, followed by Yoshi Yamada, Bob Wood, Ryan Miller, Victor Castillo, Johan Dolder, and Kevin DeWald.

Whenever you’re on a list with Johan Dolder, you’re in trouble, unless the list is merely about famous Luxembourgians. Lyon might be gone (on account of at-bats) later this month, which will further accentuate the singularly not-giving-a-****-anymore attitude that gave us the Double Yoshi infield in 2005.

[Westheim]

All Star Game

The Continental League suffocates the Federal League in the All Star Game, winning 3-0 while conceding only one hit to the FL All Stars, a single by Danny Santillano off Brad Santry in the first inning. For the CL, Aaron Brayboy goes 1-for-3 to be named MVP.

The Raccoons in town do fine. Manny Fernandez pinch-hits for a single while Chuck Jones and Alex Ramirez both deliver a perfect inning.

Raccoons (45-43) @ Canadiens (50-39) – July 11-14, 2041

Now here came the interesting part. Two 4-game splits into the season series with the damn Elks, the Raccoons – on paper! – still had a shot of getting into the mix for the division even though every reasonable person said that they had no shot at the playoffs at all, even though they were just 4 1/2 games out. The Raccoons had so many holes, they needed half a roster to be made watchable. While getting Tony Hunter back would already go some way, the bullpen needed fixing real bad, the back end of the rotation was a mess, and the bench was a random sample of whatever detritus you could fish out of the Willamette on a Saturday afternoon. The damn Elks? First in runs scored, fourth in runs against, but they did have lost Dan Schneller (.355, 9 HR, 39 RBI) yet *again*, this time for a broken thumb. He had made it into exactly one game between injuries.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (7-3, 3.79 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (9-3, 3.22 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (6-7, 4.58 ERA) vs. Eric Weitz (8-6, 3.92 ERA)
Drew Johnson (5-7, 3.17 ERA) vs. Mike Mihalik (7-7, 3.39 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (6-8, 4.17 ERA) vs. David Arias (6-4, 3.36 ERA)

Still only right-handers to see here. Oh well. I was huddled up on the couch at home with Honeypaws and a huge bucket of ribs, ready to see the Raccoons get eliminated from contention for good.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – RF Balaski – 1B Levis – SS Nickas – P Brown
VAN: SS Obando – C Clemente – CF Outram – LF J. Becker – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – 2B Sprague – 3B Cabral – P Sealock

There was but negligible offense in the early innings, with the Raccoons getting a leadoff double from Maldo in the second and absolutely nothing else in the inning, and the Elks putting two on against Brown in the first before popping out twice to Cosmo. The first run of the game didn’t get on the board until the fourth, when Manny Fernandez smashed a leadoff jack to right-center. Maldonado then singled, stole second base, and was driven in by Balaski with another single, 2-0. Even persistently-foundering Doug Levis hit a single, but the inning was sure to die between Steve Nickas and Josh Brown, and they didn’t disappoint. Portland tacked on another two runs the next inning though, with Cosmo getting on and stealing second base – only his 12th of the year – before being driven in by Maldonado. The latter then advanced on a balk before being plated by Tony Morales. Brown meanwhile held the damn Elks in check for a good while, retiring almost a full lineup in a row at one point, although a tight spot developed when Guillermo Obando – the third now-ancient once-prolific base stealer in this game - legged out a 2-out infield single in the bottom 5th and Timóteo Clemente drew a walk. The .360 menace that was Jerry Outram (with 18 homers) grounded out to Levis, though, stranding the pair. Good, good! (reaches into bucket) Hey, where have all the ribs gone?? (glares at Honeypaws)

Portland made it 5-0 in the sixth. Nickas drew a walk, was bunted over by Brown, then scored on a soft single by Berto. He then started a 6-4-3 in the bottom 6th on Victor Vazquez, erasing Justin Becker, who had reached on another clumsy error by Bill Balaski. Glenn Sprague hit a leadoff single in the seventh before also being doubled off on a Ramon Cabral grounder, 4-6-3, but then PH Roy Pincus singled and I realized that while Brown was pitching dandily, he had also reached the end of his useful life once more; the Pincus single came on his 101st pitch of the game, a.k.a. bed time. Lindstrom replaced him in a double switch, going in the #6 hole with Stephon Nettles to right, and got a comebacker from Obando to end the inning. Lindstrom for one and Brent Clark for two struck out the 2-3-4 batters in order in the eighth, but Clark got bombed by Vazquez to begin the bottom 9th, breaking up the shutout. He also put Johnny Lopez on base before being lifted for Tim Zimmerman, one runner shy of a save opportunity, but the Coons weren’t gonna tempt the baseball gods in this crucial game. Sprague socked a ball into a double play and Cabal struck out to end the game. 5-1 Coons! Maldonado 3-5, 2B, RBI; Brown 6.2 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 5 K, W (8-3);

The Raccoons zoomed in to 3 1/2 games out behind a trifecta of 50-40 teams with this W – yes, the Crusaders now somehow tied for first place after finishing last year in fifth place with 85 losses and not posting a winning record since ’37.

Nevertheless we made a roster move after the game. Stephon Nettles was hitting .197 now and was not necessarily required as stellar centerfielder either with both Maldo and Reyna on the roster. He was thus demoted to AAA. We brought back Rikuto Ito and his .993 OPS with the Alley Cats. He had batted .213 with two homers for the Raccoons early in his rookie season before being sent to AAA.

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – RF Reyna – 1B Levis – SS Nickas – P Moreno
VAN: 3B Obando – C Clemente – CF Outram – LF J. Becker – 1B J. Lopez – 2B Sprague – RF DeVita – SS Cabral – P Weitz

Back-to-back doubles by Fernandez and Maldonado gave Portland a 1-0 edge in the first inning, and it could have been more if Cosmo hadn’t doubled up Berto ahead of them. Nels pitched a scoreless first, then got more support in the second. Doug Levis looped a ball over Obando for a single, Nickas scratched out another walk, which was one way to not get shot as a .100 hitter, and Moreno bunted both of them into scoring position. With two down, Berto snuck a grounder past Cabral and Sprague for a 2-run single, raising his batting average to .350 in the process. Cosmo then flew out to Justin Becker, who turned around and hit the first of many, many singles off Moreno in the bottom of the inning. Lopez and DeVita (walk) chimed in to load the bases before Cabral scored two with a single. Eric Weitz ran a full count before grounding to Nickas, who pulled Cosmo off the second base bag, turning two outs and a 3-2 lead into no outs and a 3-3 tie with runners on the corners. The top three in order then destroyed Moreno with a single, another single, and a double, running the score to 6-3 and bringing in Travis Sims as the game was surrendered.

I ******* hate Elk City. If I could still get into the country, I’d burn the ******* **** place to the ******* ground.

Sims of course surrendered the remaining runners, being a ******* piece of ****, and Moreno ended up with 1.1 innings of pitching for a whopping eight runs, and if we had ANYTHING AT ALL in St. Pete, he’d be on the way there by now. However, the Raccoons didn’t even have anything to replace their latest busted dream for a pitcher worth dreaming about with. Maybe some more Cory Lambert?

The Coons got a Morales homer in the top 3rd to get to 8-4, then the following inning lost Cosmo on the basepaths as he knocked numb skulls with Obando at third base and left the game with blurred vision; Nick Lando replaced him. Sims meanwhile was pitched to exhaustion, which remarkably amounted to 3.2 innings and only one base hit and no runs despite walking three damn Elks. Zimmerman and Jones would get the Raccoons through seven, with the former having a clean sixth before putting two on in the seventh, with Jones eventually stranding the bases loaded on an Obando fly to left, but the offense didn’t even pretend to show up anymore in a 4-run deficit. The best show was delivered by Jeff Kilmer with a pich-hit triple in the eighth, but it game with two outs and nobody on, and Berto wouldn’t drive him in, either. Kilmer was the final Coons base runner in the game. 8-4 Canadiens. Fernandez 2-5, 2B; Maldonado 2-5, 2B, RBI; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, 3B; Sims 3.2 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 3 K;

Seven runs were earned on Moreno, which nevertheless put his ERA over five now. Apparently though, no glue factory north of the 49th would take him, so he’d have to come back to Portland at least for processing…

Cosmo also had a pretty well danged-up noggin, and Dr. Padilla called and opined that he’d rather not see him play for the rest of the weekend, which gave another two starts to phenom Nick Lando.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – RF Ito – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – 2B Lando – SS Nickas – P Johnson
VAN: 3B Obando – C Clemente – CF Outram – LF J. Becker – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – 2B Sprague – SS Cabral – P Mihalik

Portland scored first for the third time in the series, an unearned run produced by Obando’s error putting on Rikuto Ito before a single, a walk, and a bases-loaded walk to Tony Morales pushed him around. Doug Levis hit a sac fly on a 1-2 pitch for his 50th RBI of the year when I would have sworn he had no more than 15 – Honeypaws offered six, but he was a chronic nagger anyway. Then the Raccoons presented their next target – Drew Johnson retired Obando before loading the bases and wasting no time to giving up a grand slam to Vazquez, dropping the Raccoons 4-2 behind.

Scoring then ceased, for one because the Raccoons simply didn’t hit – Nickas hit a second-inning single for their only knock between the first and the end of five innings – and the Elks found their way into poor outs with a guy on second repeatedly, but were without a doubt able to break up Johnson’s rib cage if they wanted to. Perhaps worse than the grand slam was Mihalik, who not only suffocated the Raccoons’ lineup but also went 3-for-3 against Johnson, setting up multiple traffic scenarios on the base paths. Him and Obando hit 2-out singles in the sixth to occupy the corners. Johnson was told to go all-out on Clemente before a left-hander would replace him against Outram. He threw an all-out wild pitch do concede another run before Maldonado made a lunging grab on Clemente’s drive to center.

Doug Levis notched the team’s third hit and third run with a solo jack to left in the seventh inning, restoring the old 2-run defict at 5-3. Mihalik then struck out Lando, but landed awkwardly and had to be helped off the field by the trainer and Johnny Lopez with an apparent knee injury. Marcus Goode ended the inning with a groundout from Nickas before the Raccoons sent Brent Clark to load the bases with nobody out in the bottom 7th. Lopez hit a floater to shallow right that Ito dropped for an error and a run. Sprague also flew to right; Ito made that catch, then threw out Becker at home plate, too. Clark then coyly walked the left-handed Cabral to restock the bags before beating off the mound by an aggravated pitching coach. Lindstrom replaced him and got Maldonado to get the final out with another mad dash after a Pincus drive in deepest centerfield. Maldonado would also open the ninth with a single off ex-Critter Josh Boles to bring the tying run into the on-deck circle, but Morales flew out and Levis chomped into a game-ending double play. 6-3 Canadiens. Maldonado 2-4;

This is fine. This is totally fine. But hey, one more chance to get the third 4-game split of the year and then, Honeypaws, we can continue to live a lie!

(laces a rib with a dark mystery liquid from a bottle with a label containing just a skull and two crossed bones)

Game 4
POR: 3B Ramos – RF Ito – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 1B Reyna – 2B Lando – SS Nickas – P Chavez
VAN: 3B Obando – C Clemente – CF Outram – LF J. Becker – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – 2B Sprague – SS Cabral – P D. Arias

The Raccoons again scored first, this time with a Ramos Special as Berto walked, Ito walked too, they pulled off a double steal, and Manny grounded out to bring home the lead runner. Maldo hit a sac fly, giving us a 2-0 lead without the benefit of a base hit. They wouldn’t get a base hit either until Nickas – of all people – singled in the ******* fifth inning. However, then the Raccoons were still up 2-0, with Bernie Chavez pitching controlled and calmly for two singles and a strikeout through four innings, and no runs for the damn Elks. I hugged Honeypaws a little tighter, feeling the impact building up in the background. It always did. Glenn Sprague drew a walk with two outs in the bottom 5th. Ramon Cabral socked a homer. And the game was tied.

Outram came close to another homer in the sixth, but was caught at the fence by Ito, so the game remained tied. The Raccoons then had two base runners in the seventh, with Maldo getting knocked leading off, but Kilmer hit into a double play. Reyna reached by four balls, stole second, but then Lando came up and nothing else happened. Berto gave up a leadoff walk to Becker in the inning, but the damn Elks didn’t get him around either. Bernie reached over 100 pitches, though, and was hit for in the eighth, when Balaski and Levis hit for the bottom two in the order, and produced zero. Berto singled, but was left on when Ito rolled out to short. Jones and Ramirez combined for a scoreless eighth inning on the pitching ledger before Boles came back out for the ninth. Manny hit a long fly that was caught. Maldo hit a long fly that was also caught. Kilmer hit a long fly that was also caught, but not by a guy in a red shirt, but by a lady in a spotted dress in the stands. Home run! Reyna made the last out, and then it was Hamill against the meaty part of the damn Elks’ order. Outram rolled out to Levis at first. Becker grounded out to short. Vazquez walked, and then Pincus pinch-hit for Boles in the #6 spot. Hamill fell to 2-0, I sighed, and then Pincus ripped … and popped out to Kilmer. 3-2 Coons. Nickas 1-2; Chavez 7.0 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 2 K;

We had three hits. They had four. I’ll take the W.

In other news

July 8 – Sox change socks: OF/1B Rich de Luna (.313, 1 HR, 31 RBI) is traded from the Gold Sox to the Blue Sox for three prospects.
July 10 – RF/LF Kyle Beard (.278, 7 HR, 36 RBI) is traded from the Titans to the Warriors for two prospects.
July 12 – DAL SP Orlando Leos (7-8, 3.63 ERA) 2-hits the Gold Sox, whiffing eight, for a 6-0 Stars shutout.
July 14 – CHA SS Tony Aparicio (.304, 7 HR, 37 RBI) will miss a month with a strained hamstring.

FL Player of the Week: PIT SS Rick Rowell (.245, 11 HR, 47 RBI), batting .467 (7-15) with 3 HR, 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: OCT 1B Danny Cruz (.306, 20 HR, 53 RBI), swatting .545 (6-11) with 2 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

And then there were three … 2-2 splits with the damn Elks this year. Could have been worse. We’re exactly where we were before the series, with the Loggers and Crusaders ending up splitting theirs too.

We won’t play a winning team (as it stands now) for the rest of the month. So that’s one last chance to gain some sort of momentum before we hit the trade deadline. Next week the Raccoons will be on the road on the east coast, meeting with the Titans (oy-oy…) and the Knights. After that, home week versus the Thunder and Aces.

What’s up in terms of free agents? The Raccoons have many: Bernie, Berto, Tony Morales, Doug Levis, Drew Johnson, also Zimmerman and Trawick, and if he voids his $3.8M player option – although I really don’t know why he would – also Cosmo Trevino, who is totally gonna be fine by Tuesday in Boston.

Follow my finger, Cosmo. (moves finger side to side in front of a cross-eyed Trevino) That’s right. Left side. Right side. Hey! Stop! (Trevino sucks on GM’s finger)

And don’t think we forgot the July Caribbean teen pageant, either. The selection was somewhat weird this year. We bid on an outfielder for a while, Leo Estrada, but dropped out of there. Now we’re after an Aussie pitcher, with the bidding war already having escalated to a point where if we actually won the rights to him we’d be in the highest penalty bracket next year and including the tax on the deal would cost us seven figures, a.k.a. about all that remained in our budget. That would mean trade deadline acquisitions would not be allowed to cost anything.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons haven’t won more than 10 games a year from the damn Elks since 2034.

That’s when we went 12-6 over them for a while. Right now we are irritatingly close to the all-time .500 mark against them at 581-583. If we could win a series just once…!!

[Westheim]

Tony Hunter rejoined from the DL to begin the week, leading to us sending Steve Nickas, the .135 wonder, back to AAA with the greatest regrets.

Raccoons (47-45) @ Titans (40-51) – July 16-18, 2041

With six losses in a row the Titans were on the way down, but here were the Raccoons to lift them back up. Travels to Boston were usually fruitless for the Critters, and the Titans once more were up in the season series, 6-3. They were however in the bottom three in both runs scored and runs allowed in the Continental League.

Projected matchups:
Corey Mathers (0-0, 3.86 ERA) vs. Rich Willett (7-3, 2.57 ERA)
Josh Brown (8-3, 3.57 ERA) vs. Philip Wise (6-8, 5.40 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (6-8, 5.10 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (8-7, 4.50 ERA)

We spotted a rare southpaw at the tail end of the series. The Titans also had a full set of outfielders on the DL, including Mark Vermillion (shoulder), Willie Vega (knee), Jimmy Wallace (ankle), and Moises Avila (abdominal strain). Only the latter might come off the DL while the series was in progress.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – RF Ito – 2B Trevino – 1B Levis – P Mathers
BOS: CF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – RF Kolbe – 2B M. Hurtado – SS Gil – C Guadalupe – 3B Nieblas – LF Celaya – P Willett

Before there were any runs, there was a 40-minute rain delay in the third inning that was certainly going to help the rookie not getting his intestines pulled out of his stuffed raccoon tummy and wrapped around his neck for suffocating purposes… The Raccoons had two hits the first time through, and Rich Willett faced the minimum; Morales wrapped up Maldonado in a double play, and Cosmo was caught stealing to negate a pair of leadoff singles. Mathers did not allow the first time through. Only Jacob Kolbe opened the hitting for Boston in the fourth inning. Mario Hurtado walked, but Antonio Gil hit into a double play to keep the game scoreless.

But at least Mathers was a fast learner, quickly realizing that this team was not going to score for him and that it was all on him alone to get something done, like when Rikuto Ito hit a triple to center in the fifth inning with one out. Cosmo struck out in a truly clutch performance, and Doug Levis was intentionally walked to bring up the pitcher. Mathers clipped a single past Gil to break the ice and give himself a 1-0 lead. Then Berto grounded out casually. All for naught, though – Rich Willett returned the favor in the bottom of the same inning, singling in Orlando Nieblas with two outs to tie the game. Mathers then leaked another single to Danny Liceaga, and Berto fumbled Alex Zacarias’ grounder to fill the bags for Kolbe, who smacked in two runs with a sharp single to left-center. Only Hurtado was retired, with Mathers now 3-1 behind, only one of the runs being earned. The latter number didn’t change in the sixth inning, but the Titans still went to 5-1. This time Tony Hunter committed a gross throwing error while Mathers gave up an RBI double to Nieblas and another 2-out RBI single to Willett, which stopped being funny at about this stage. Cosmo opened the seventh with a single, and Levis followed up with a double play grounder, which was apparently his favorite party trick. The Raccoons would not get another runner past first base in the game. Jeff Kilmer hit a pinch-hit single in the ninth inning against Gilberto Castillo, but it didn’t spark anything that could have been called a rally without being disingenuous. 5-1 Titans. Fernandez 2-4; Maldonado 2-4; Trevino 2-4; Kilmer (PH) 1-1;

Boston, huh?

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – 1B Reyna – P Brown
BOS: CF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – RF Kolbe – 2B M. Hurtado – C Guadalupe – SS Gil – LF Joseph – 3B Nieblas – P P. Wise

While Brown faced the minimum the first time through, walking Zacarias in the first before getting a double play out of Kolbe, the Raccoons coolly stranded five runners in the first three innings combined, getting in one run in the second inning when their 6-7-8 batters all singled. That was to begin the frame though, and after Brown bunted the runners into scoring position, Berto popped out and Hunter rolled out to strand the poor souls of Balaski and Reyna there. Nobody reached in the fourth for either team before the fifth began with singles by Berto and Tony Hunter. Manny popped out, but Maldonado filled the bases, reaching on a pair of errors. First Mario Guadalupe dropped a foul pop of his, then Gil threw his grounder to short away. Tony Morales got in a run on a 1-2 chomper that went slowly past Wise and had Hurtado hustle in, where he had no play as everybody advanced 90 feet. Cosmo added a run with a sac fly, while Balaski hit an RBI single to left to get the tally to 4-0 before Reyna struck out to strand another pair.

Then an hourlong rain delay ruined Brown’s mojo when he was still on a no-hitter. He got through five innings unharmed, but was clearly off by the sixth and lifted after a pair of singles with only one out. He threw only 69 pitches in the effort. Chuck Jones came through and got out of the inning without conceding a run. The Titans pen conceded two in the seventh, Maldonado opening with a hit and stealing second base, his eighth bag on the year and the second in this game. Cosmo and Reyna then landed RBI hits to get the score up to 6-0. Boston got one run off Travis Sims in the bottom 7th, which was well under expectations. Lindstrom and Hamill would deliver the last six outs without imploding. 6-1 Coons. Maldonado 2-5; Trevino 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Balaski 2-5, RBI; Reyna 2-4, 2 RBI; Brown 5.1 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 2 K, W (9-3);

…and now we’d give a tender rubber game to Nelson Moreno, who had been all on the wrong side of the falling piano for the last few weeks.

Game 3
POR: SS Hunter – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Ito – 3B Trevino – 1B Levis – 2B Lando – P Moreno
BOS: CF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – RF Kolbe – 2B M. Hurtado – SS Gil – C Guadalupe – 3B Nieblas – LF Rodela – P M. Gonzalez

…and it didn’t get any better, did it? Liceaga drew a leadoff walk and then Zacarias and Kolbe whipped singled. Liceaga circled around, but was thrown out at the plate by Maldonado. A grounder and a fly to left ended the inning, but the smell of another battered Raccoons sophomore hurler was in the air. Nevertheless, the Raccoons scored first when Nick Lando hit a leadoff double to right-center to begin the third inning and came around on two productive outs by Moreno and Hunter. Then Moreno got waffled for four singles and two runs in the bottom of the inning.

Through five innings and a light drizzle for the third day in a row in this soulless place, Nelson Moreno allowed eight hits and two walks, striking out absolutely nobody. Somehow the Titans didn’t score again even when they had the leadoff batter on in the fourth and fifth innings. The Critters tied the game behind him in the sixth. Maldo and Manny were on base before Kilmer axed another Titans outfielder when Alejandro Rodela went into a wild tumble catching his liner and had to be stretchered off and replaced by Lorenzo Celaya. Ito then came through with a game-tying RBI single to right, but Cosmo flew out to center to end the inning. Moreno lasted two more loud outs before Travis Zitzner – of all people – knocked him out with a pinch-hit 2-out single. Brent Clark then nailed Liceaga, but Zacarias grounded out to keep the game locked through six.

Brent Clark pitched the seventh, too, and hit a single at the bat in between, but it wasn’t like that would start a rally, was it? The Coons didn’t get any runners in the eighth or ninth, while Alex Ramirez and Chuck Jones held Boston close and sent the game to extra innings. Miguel Reyna, who had replaced Levis in a double switch and was batting ninth, and Hunter reached base in the 10th, but Maldonado flew out to left and Fernandez popped out to let it be. Jones held up in the bottom of the inning, allowing Jeff Kilmer to uncork a leadoff triple on a 1-2 pitch off Jesus Rodarte in the 11th inning. But now, boys! But now…! No. Ito lined out, and Cosmo and Berto both grounded out so poorly to keep a dejected Kilmer stranded at third base. Instead, bedeviled Tim Zimmerman walked the Titans off in the bottom of the inning – in the truest sense of the word. He walked Nieblas. He walked Celaya. He nailed Ernesto Huichapa. And he walked Liceaga. No outs were harmed in the making of that inning, only my feelings. 3-2 Titans. Kilmer 2-5, 3B; Reyna 1-1;

This ******* **** *** team.

Raccoons (48-47) @ Knights (48-48) – July 19-21, 2041

Sixth in runs scored and seventh in runs allowed, the Knights were crummy, but at least their run differential (-17) still beat the Critters’ (-48). Ah, the joy of fake teams. Atlanta led the season series, 2-1.

Projected matchups:
Drew Johnson (5-8, 3.38 ERA) vs. Bill Nichol (4-5, 4.28 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (6-8, 4.08 ERA) vs. Kurt Olson (3-6, 5.65 ERA)
Corey Mathers (0-1, 2.77 ERA) vs. Brad Santry (6-6, 2.70 ERA)

All right-handers coming up here.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – 1B Levis – P Johnson
ATL: CF N. Velez – 1B J. King – SS Crim – LF Inoa – C Horner – 2B Matos – RF Ledford – 3B B. Cruz – P Nichol

The Raccoons had Berto, Manny, and Maldo on in the first inning, but got only one run on Tony Morales’ groundout, while Drew Johnson shook himself up for two, throwing not one but TWO wild pitches to score Jamie King and Joe Crim, both of whom had hit singles off him. After that he mostly subsisted on good defense and a helping of luck, like in the fourth inning when a budding Knights jam hit a screeching halt as soon as Adam Horner lined into a double play, 3-unassisted. Meanwhile the Raccoons remained glued to their one run … and also one hit … from the first inning, all the way through six.

It was still 2-1 when Tony Morales opened the seventh with a double off the wall in rightfield. Cosmo singled, setting up runners on the corners, but I was done proclaiming “but now, boys!” – they always found a way to cram the cork back into the bottle, didn’t they? At least they tied the game, for a starter, with Bill Balaski beating Brad Ledford, former Raccoon, in rightfield for an RBI double. Levis added a run with a single up the middle. Johnson whiffed, but Berto made it 4-2 with a single to left before the inning ended with Hunter’s fly to center and Manny’s grounder to short. Johnson then responded by walking Horner to begin the bottom 7th. That inning ended with a liner by Ledford to Levis – AGAIN: 3-unassisted! Johnson logged only one more out before reaching 95 pitches and a chunk of lefty hitters. Wyatt Hamill was lightly used in recent weeks and thus was assigned the 5-out save. He allowed a single in the eighth, then another single in the ninth when Joe Crim landed a hit in left. PH Zachary Krumholz hit into a double play, and the Coons got the W nailed down with a K to Horner. 4-2 Raccoons. Morales 2-4, 2B, RBI; Johnson 7.1 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 4 K, W (6-8);

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Balaski – 2B Trevino – 1B Levis – CF Reyna – P Chavez
ATL: CF N. Velez – 1B J. King – SS Crim – LF Inoa – C Horner – 2B Matos – RF Hester – 3B B. Cruz – P Olson

Bernie Chavez scored the first run of the game when Adam Horner fired a ball over Joe Crim, trying to nip Tony Hunter as he stole second base in the third inning. Bernie had opened the inning with a double to left. Berto singled, but was forced out by Hunter, who took his 23rd bag and helped that runner home at the same time, but was then left on third base. Then Bernie gave the Knights the lead in a span of just four batters. Jamie King homered off him in the fourth inning, which was just nature doing as nature does. Jamie King was able to take anybody deep. Then a soft single by Crim, a clueless walk to Luis Inoa, and then another goofball that Horner bombed for three runs…

Now, Portland re-tied that game at four in the following half-inning, but it took two Knights errors to get them that far. Hunter hit a 1-out single, was forced out by Manny, who went to third on Kilmer’s 2-out single to right. Billy Hester threw the ball away, allowing Manny to score and Kilmer to second base. Balaski then walked and Cosmo singled, with Kilmer scoring on the latter play, 4-3. Levis then rolled a ball in front of home plate that Horner threw away catastrophically, getting Balaski across to tie the score at four before the inning ended with an intentional walk and Bernie rolling over and out. The Coons then took the lead in the sixth … on a passed ball. Berto and Hunter set up camp on the corners with nobody out, and Horner had a ball elude him. If the Raccoons had had anything to them, they would have scored Hunter too, but they only loaded the bases with two outs and then had Doug Levis … strike out. The lead also didn’t last because a) Bernie put on another two batters in the bottom of the sixth, and b) Brent Clark was a terrible choice for coming in with two guys already on base. He walked PH Jose Garcia, then gave up the game-tying single to Nelson Velez. Somehow Jamie King didn’t hit a slam to center, but flew out to Reyna.

Portland took a new lead in the seventh; Maldonado had entered with Clark in a double switch, taking over for Levis at first base. He hit a double his first time up, then came around when Berto singled, 6-5. Rich Ray hit Hunter, and Manny singled to stuff the bags for Kilmer, who whiffed, and Balaski, who grounded out. (slams fist on bar counter, flustering several other patrons) Then Clark remained a nuisance to the tune of loading the bases in the bottom 7th, including two walks to lefty hitters. It was so bad that when Brad Ledford pinch-hit with three on and two outs, the Coons went to a right-hander to face him – Lindstrom – just to confuse the evil currents of the universe. A K and three stranded Knights seemed to prove us right. Then the Coons stranded Cosmo at third base in the top 8th and Lindstrom got waffled for a 2-out RBI double, tying the game off Joe Crim’s bat. At least Crim crumpled his foot sliding into second base and was replaced with Krumholz.

The Raccoons took ANOTHER lead in the ninth inning while I was hissing at former dismal Critters closer Rico Sanchez, sporting an ERA in the sixes. Jeff Kilmer got him in the sevens with a 2-out, 2-run jack to left, plating Hunter. The Knights’ response in the bottom 9th was to have Horner almost hit a homer to left, being caught on the track by Manny Fernandez, and then Jesus Matos *actually* hit a homer to left, cutting the gap to one run before Wyatt Hamill reconsidered his actions and got the final two outs in due order… 8-7 Coons. Ramos 3-6, RBI; Hunter 3-4, BB, 2B; Kilmer 2-6, HR, 2 RBI; Trevino 2-3, BB, RBI; Maldonado 1-2, 2B;

If you’re wondering, Adam Horner is a *decent* defensive catcher. He won a Gold Glove in the minors. But he gets to play because he can hit for an .800 OPS. He just had a “did I really walk around town with my zip fly open all day?” game.

Game 3
POR: SS Hunter – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Ito – 3B Trawick – 2B Lando – P Mathers
ATL: CF N. Velez – 1B J. King – LF Inoa – 2B Matos – C Horner – RF Hester – 3B Zeltser – SS B. Cruz – P Santry

Portland scored before making an out as Hunter doubled to left and Maldo singled him in by going to right. Manny walked, but Morales flew out to center and Doug Levis did his special move and grounded into a 6-4-3. The rest of the team then stopped giving a lick, too, while Mathers, the rookie, was up against an almost entirely left-handed lineup – and didn’t allow a hit for his first 11 outs. Jesus Matos hit a single with two outs in the fourth, but Horner then popped out and the game score remained 1-0. In the fifth Mathers walked Bob Cruz and allowed a single to Santry, the opposing pitcher, all with two outs, but Nelson Velez flew out to Maldonado.

Unfortunately, Mathers was all on his own. The Raccoons didn’t reach scoring position again until Rikuto Ito doubled in the seventh, and was left on third base. He same inning, Mathers’ bid went bust when Hester and Bob Zeltser, another ex-Coon, reached base with a single and a double, respectively, and one out. Bob Cruz’ groundout tied the game, and when Andy Montes pinch-hit in the #9 spot, Chuck Jones replaced Mathers and struck out the hitter, sparing Mathers the loss. The Knights had a hit each off Jones and Ramirez in the eighth, but didn’t score, and instead Morales hit a leadoff single off Rico Sanchez in the ninth. Miguel Reyna ran for him and reached second base on a Levis single that didn’t leave the infield. Balaski batted for Ito and popped out, and Trawick grounded to Zeltser for a force on Reyna, but the other two runners survived. Next up was, with two gone, Nick Lando’s spot. Cosmo grabbed a stick, then shot a 2-0 pitch into the gap. Hester missed it, Velez didn’t reach it until the edge of the warning track, and two runs scored on the double! Kilmer singled for Ramirez, but Cosmo stopped at third, then was left there on Hunter’s groundout. Hamill had been used for eight outs in two days and the Raccoons sent Zimmerman instead against the bottom of the order. Hester and Zeltser both grounded out to Levis, and Cruz was rung up to complete the sweep. 3-1 Coons! Hunter 2-5, 2 2B; Trevino (PH) 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI; Kilmer (PH) 1-1; Mathers 6.2 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 3 K;

In other news

July 16 – The Condors ship INF Chris Strohm (.276, 3 HR, 41 RBI) and a prospect to the Capitals for the services of SP Josh Long (7-6, 3.99 ERA).
July 16 – The Gold Sox grab an 11-6 comeback win over the Scorpions, plating ten runs in an endless eighth inning to pull off the feat. DEN OF Nelson Mercado (.266, 4 HR, 30 RBI) leads the charge with three hits and four RBI.
July 16 – A pinch-hit single by LVA INF Jason Bensinger (.286, 4 HR, 24 RBI) plates Nate Rossi (.237, 10 HR, 25 RBI) as the only run of, and ends the, Aces’ 11-inning, 1-0 win over the Thunder.
July 17 – New York SP Jeff Johnson (10-9, 3.41 ERA) 3-hits the Indians in a 5-0 shutout, whiffing ten batters.
July 18 – The Wolves lose their closer Miguel Salazar (2-1, 2.48 ERA, 24 SV) to a torn UCL that will keep him out for a full year.
July 18 – Salem also acquires INF Sergio Barcia (.291, 9 HR, 51 RBI) from the Bayhawks for four prospects and minor leaguers.

July 19 – CIN 1B Danny Santillano (.325, 13 HR, 56 RBI) goes yard off SAL MR Chris Tompkins (2-0, 2.57 ERA, 2 SV) in a 3-for-5 effort as the Cyclones beat the Wolves, 9-8. It is his 400th career home run. The 16-year player (in his first year outside the Miners organization) is a 6-time Player of the Year and first-ballot Hall of Famer with four home run titles, six batting titles, and acareer .331/.420/.535 slash line. He has driven in 1,512 runs in his career.
July 19 – San Francisco’s Mike Hall (.299, 2 HR, 39 RBI) has one hit in an 8-4 win over the Titans to extend his hitting streak to 20 games.
July 19 – As the Capitals beat the Gold Sox, 2-1, WAS SP Shaun Wardwell (7-5, 3.28 ERA) and four relievers deliver a combined 1-hitter. DEN SS Ryan Cox (.284, 2 HR, 12 RBI) offers a single for the only Denver hit.
July 19 – SAC LF/RF Mike Preble (.301, 12 HR, 61 RBI) goes yard for the only run in a 1-0 win over the Buffos.
July 20 – OCT SP Aaron Bryant (8-6, 4.48 ERA) 3-hits the Indians. Oklahoma wins 7-0 while Bryant strikes out eight in the game.
July 20 – The Titans deal right-hander Gilberto Castillo (2-4, 3.38 ERA, 14 SV) to the Falcons. The 39-year-old reliever yields four prospects.

FL Player of the Week: SFB/SAL INF Sergio Barcia (.294, 10 HR, 50 RBI), batting .524 (11-21) with 1 HR, 10 RBI while changing leagues
CL Player of the Week: ATL 2B Jesus Matos (.286, 7 HR, 38 RBI), hitting .409 (9-22) with 2 HR, 7 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Ah, a treacherous sweep on the weekend against the Knights, to make us think we got business in the division race. The Raccoons remain only 4 1/2 games out, and keep having too many holes to really attempt stuffing them.

Mathers has been a pleasant surprise so far and will continue to be so until he won’t be one no longer. That’s some baseball wisdom for you kids out there.

Then there’s the international teen boy bidding war going on for that Aussie pitcher. His name is Anthony Spooner and he’s a 16-year-old righty. He throws 91 right now with a strong mix of a cutter, curve, and slider, plus a complementary changeup. Scouts are raving about him. Heck, I rave about him. The price – without tax – reached almost $1M this week. With tax we’re actually up to $1.4M. That’s some coin for a 16-year-old kid with no track record that frankly looks like a stoner.

He also has a loose tongue, but since he’s from Australia we can never really understand what he says, so it’s fine, I guess.

Fun Fact: Only four ABL players have hit more home runs than Danny Santillano.

That would be Ron Alston (475), Raúl Vazquez (416), Gil Rockwell (412), and Dan Morris (408). They are all in the Hall of Fame, and none played during Santillano’s career. Rockwell was the closest, retiring in ’22, four years before Santillano’s debut.

The top 10 in the career leaderboard are completed by disgusting skunk weasel Shane Sanks (379), Martin Ortíz (377), Mike Rucker (376), Will Bailey (375), and Stanley Murphy (371). At least some of these, I swear, hit half their homers against the Critters…

The career top 10 hit a total of 112 homers for the Raccoons, split between Ron Alston (71), Stanley Murphy (22), and Gil Rockwell (19).

[Westheim]

Raccoons (51-47) vs. Thunder (41-56) – July 23-25, 2041

The Thunder were in last place in the South and also in runs scored in the Continental League. Their pitching was alright, but lingered in the middle of all teams in the league, sitting eighth in runs allowed and also eighth in defense. They were in the process of selling everything not nailed down, and also had a 2-1 lead in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (9-3, 3.41 ERA) vs. Jon Ramos (3-7, 3.79 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (6-8, 5.01 ERA) vs. Alan Fleming (6-6, 3.98 ERA)
Drew Johnson (6-8, 3.32 ERA) vs. TBD

We’d get two right-handers and then… probably Tim Steinbach (1-3, 5.20 ERA), who also threw right-handed. The Thunder were reworking their rotation after trading SP Aaron Bryant (8-6, 4.48 ERA) to the Blue Sox on Monday – our common off day – for two prospects. They also sent reliever Jake Bonnie (0-2, 4.54 ERA, 2 SV) to the Wolves on Tuesday for another two prospects.

Game 1
OCT: CF C. Vega – 3B M. Lopez – C Adames – RF Marz – 1B D. Cruz – SS Kilgallen – 2B Martell – LF E. Moore – P J. Ramos
POR: 3B A. Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 2B Trevino – 1B Levis – RF Ito – P Brown

Rain kept following Josh Brown around, leading to a 40-minute delay in the second inning of a scoreless game. When he was back pitching, the Thunder immediately found the bats, with Al Martell hitting a leadoff double off the wall in the top 3rd. Carlos Vega’s 2-out single made it 1-0, but Vega was also thrown out at third base on Miguel Lopez’ single after that. The Raccoons meanwhile had no hits through three innings, but tied the game in the fourth. Manny and Morales walked, and Cosmo found an RBI single to get the team even before Doug Levis found the shortstop with another grounder that led to the end of the inning, 6-4 for the final out. In a game that felt like eating a glue sandwich, the Thunder would take a 2-1 lead in the seventh when Brown loaded the bags with nobody out. John Marz and Danny Cruz hit leadoff singles, and PH Rick Urfer walked. Jose Agosto hit into a run-scoring double play for the lead, while the third pinch-hitter in a row, Brian Heskett, grounded out to Levis to end the inning and leave Cruz at third base. That was all the offense off Josh Brown, but it looked like enough to bury him. Levis reached on an uncaught third strike in the seventh and was stranded. Berto walked in the eighth and was stranded. The Raccoons would face left-hander Robbie Peel in the ninth, which began with Maldonado. He struck out. Morales flew out to left. Cosmo, however, shot a double to left, putting the tying run in scoring position for… well… Levis. At least there was no double play available … He fouled out behind home plate instead. 2-1 Thunder. Trevino 2-4, 2B, RBI; Brown 8.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, L (9-4);

That sucked…

Game 2
OCT: CF C. Vega – 2B Martell – C Adames – 1B D. Cruz – RF Marz – SS Kilgallen – LF E. Moore – 3B Stedham – P Carnes
POR: 3B A. Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – 1B Reyna – P Moreno

The Thunder inserted 26-year-old rookie righty Mike Carnes (2-2, 2.89 ERA) on Wednesday. He lasted two thirds of an inning and allowed two runs before his arm came off, which would further the disarray in the Thunder’s rotation. The second of two runs (Maldonado) didn’t score until Bobby Klopotek took over and surrendered a home run to Jeff Kilmer, putting the Coons up 3-1. Nels had opened the game with two strikeouts, then allowed a run on a string of singles, as had happened way too often recently. Worse yet, Ethan Moore opened the second inning with a triple and scored on ex-Coon Jesse Stedham’s groundout, and the inning continued with Carlos Vega singling, stealing second with ease, and then scoring on Martell’s 2-out single *and* another dismal throwing error by Bill Balaski.

Bottom 2nd, the Coons loaded the bags. They did this in style, with Balaski getting nailed, which was not nearly enough pain on him to pacify by anger over his terrible defense (while not even remotely hitting for league average, either), Moreno singled after failing to get a bunt down a couple of times, and Berto walked in a full count. Tony Hunter lined out to Cruz, but Manny hit an RBI single to left. Maldo found the no man’s land in left-center for a 2-run single, and that chewed up Klopotek for good. He was replaced by Damon DeOrio, who I wouldn’t mind seeing bleed runs (or bleed in general), but who got a groundout from Kilmer to end the inning. Up 6-3, Moreno then hit Cruz, allowed a single, two walks, and somehow didn’t allow a run in the top 3rd. Matt Kilgallen (…!) hit into a double play in between and Adrian Ringel pinch-hit for DeOrio and struck out to strand everybody else. The bags were full again in the fourth inning – Vega single (forced out by Martell), Adames walk, Marz getting nailed – and two outs, and the Raccoons with great dismay got the pen up. I struggled to hide by disgust as the young pitcher I had banked everything on, failed to even get through five innings with a six runs in his favor. Kilgallen then singled home a pair, with Marz caught in a rundown to end the inning. I was boiling inside.

Straight 2-out singles by the 3-4-5 batters extended the whimsy lead to 7-5 in the bottom 4th, but Cosmo grounded out. Oklahoma got that run back in the fifth with Chuck Jones’ leadoff walk to Ethan Moore, who went on to score on two errors by Kilmer and Jones, 7-6, before Adames and Marz singles and an intermittent wild pitch, all on Tim Zimmerman, blew the lead for good in the sixth. Zimmerman also conceded leadoff singles to Stedham and Urfer in the seventh, plus Vega’s sac fly that gave the lead to Oklahoma, 8-7. Come the eighth, the worst offense in the league whacked around Travis Sims for two hits, two walks, and two runs. In the ninth, Danny Cruz hit a 2-run bomb off him. 12-7 Thunder. Ramos 2-4, BB, 2B; Fernandez 2-5, RBI; Maldonado 3-5, 3 RBI; Kilmer 2-5, HR, 3 RBI; Reyna 2-4, 2B;

The Thunder scored in every inning but one. If they are the league’s worst offense, what the **** ARE YOU ******* LOT???

Travis Sims (7.11 ERA) was deleted onto waivers (for the final time, I swear) and replaced with Josh Rella, who had really good numbers in AAA and maybe one day, for some other team, would be a useful reliever.

Game 3
OCT: CF C. Vega – 2B Martell – C Adames – 1B D. Cruz – SS Kilgallen – LF E. Moore – RF Heskett – 3B M. Lopez – P Fleming
POR: 3B A. Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 2B Trevino – 1B Levis – RF Ito – P Johnson

Cruz doubled in Adames in the first inning, Martell hit a solo homer in the third inning, and Johnson was slapped around for four hits and two runs in the fourth as the Raccoons inched in on getting swept by a last-place team. Maldonado hit a leadoff double to left in the second and was stranded with the bases loaded and Johnson popping out, and Hunter smacked a 1-out double to center in the third inning, but fared no better. Top 5th, Cruz drew a leadoff walk, advanced on a wild pitch, and scored on Brian Heskett’s 2-out single. Lopez also singled, but Fleming struck out. Yeah, what a terrible offense.

Johnson wasn’t seen again after the fifth inning. Down 5-0, Manny Fernandez hit a 1-out double in the bottom 6th, and never moved off second base again. Tony Hunter singled in the eighth, stole second… and was stranded there. Come the ninth, with the score still 5-0, the Raccoons got Balaski on with a single, Kilmer with a walk, both pinch-hitting out of boredom in the 6-7 spots, and then Rikuto Ito was 3-1 ahead of Bobby Klopotek and then poked and popped out. In rage, I bit the neck off a Capt’n Coma bottle. Jake Trawick completed the sweep with a K. 5-0 Thunder. Hunter 2-4, 2B; Balaski (PH) 1-1;

Raccoons (51-50) vs. Aces (44-59) – July 26-28, 2041

Oh look, another dismal team to get swept by. They were also in last place, despite being vaguely average in both runs scored and runs allowed and a -14 run differential that – fun fact – was much better than the Critters’. We even led the season series, 4-2. Baseball made no sense.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (6-8, 4.24 ERA) vs. Jerry Hodges (2-3, 3.76 ERA)
Corey Mathers (0-1, 2.29 ERA) vs. Brian Frain (5-5, 4.89 ERA)
Josh Brown (9-4, 3.34 ERA) vs. Oscar Valdes (8-7, 2.93 ERA)

Where have all the southpaws gone? Not to Vegas, that much is sure.

Game 1
LVA: C D. Gomez – RF Rossi – SS Jon Rodriguez – 2B Sprague – 3B D. Richardson – CF Whalen – LF Caldwell – 1B J. Velazquez – P Hodges
POR: 3B A. Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – 1B Levis – P Chavez

Cosmo hit a single in the second inning. Corey Caldwell hit a single in the fifth inning. That was all the hitting and also all the scoring through five innings, although – that’s not entirely true. I scored big when Slappy revealed two bottles of One-Eyed Jack’s to cheer me up. To be honest it only numbed the drumming pain in my temples, but I was a good sport and gave him a doozy grin.

A rain delay knocked out the surging Bernie Chavez after seven innings. He allowed a walk to Doug Richardson in the seventh inning, but no more base hits, and struck out nine in a shutout bid that was swept away before the rest of the hunchbacked gutter scratchers could leave him long-faced by sending an 0-0 game to extra innings. Brent Clark held up in the eighth when baseball resumed despite another ****** error by Balaski in rightfield. Bottom 8th, the fur-faced window lickers loaded the bags – albeit with two outs – against ex-Coon Fernando Pena (they were everywhere, weren’t they?), who walked two and allowed a single to Berto before coming up against Manny Fernandez. He walked in the first run of the game in a full count, which was entirely reasonable behavior for Pena. Maldo drove in a run with an infield single, and Kilmer added two more with a single in left-center against new pitcher Derek Barker – also a former Raccoon. Cosmo lined out to end the inning.

The 4-0 lead was then blown in the ninth inning, with ******* David Lindstrom loading the ******* bases with two walks and a single before being yanked and replaced with Hamill. One out on the board, the left-hander with no particular purpose on the roster allowed a bases-clearing triple to Richardson, then conceded the lead on a single to ****-faced professional **** Ken Wiersma. The game went to extra innings for no other reason than to annoy me, with the Critters doing nothing in particular in the 10th and 11th innings while Alex Ramirez held the fort. He got one out in the 12th, too, before we went to Chuck Jones, who still wasn’t scored upon. Miguel Reyna had replaced Levis as pinch-runner in the eighth inning and opened the bottom 12th with a double off Raul de la Rosa. Rikuto Ito popped out. Jake Trawick had replaced Berto for defense in the ninth, but now ended the game with a walkoff single. 5-4 Blighters. Trawick 1-2, RBI; Maldonado 2-5, RBI; Kilmer 2-5, 2 RBI; Trevino 2-5; Reyna 2-2, 2B; Chavez 7.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 9 K; Ramirez 2.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 4 K;

Game 2
LVA: C D. Gomez – RF Rossi – SS Gurney – LF Dustal – 2B Sprague – 3B D. Richardson – CF Caldwell – 1B J. Velazquez – P O. Valdes
POR: 3B A. Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – P Mathers

Nick Lando lasted two innings before taking a tumble in a collision with Caldwell and needing replacement with Cosmo Trevino as the Aces tried to crowd Mathers. Caldwell broke up the double play and Richardson and John Velazquez set up camp on the corners with two outs. Then the opposing pitcher smashed a 2-out, 2-run double, because there was no good in the world anymore. That was all off Mathers in five innings, but the Raccoons would find a way to limbo under that low bar still. They scored one run in the third inning; Berto doubled, Hunter singled him in, and that was that. Not that they didn’t hit the odd single, but it as exactly that: odd singles; maybe even two in an inning like Maldonado and Levis in the sixth inning. But they sure as hell couldn’t find a way to score. Cosmo hit a leadoff single in the seventh, was bunted to second by Mathers, and then was left there by the 1-2 hitters… Mathers was almost dominant and almost deserved a win this ******* **** team would never give him, but then got burned by Richardson in the eighth inning for another 2-out, 2-run double. Hey, this time even by a position player…! Morales and Levis hit 2-out singles in the bottom of the inning, but Balaski flew out to center rather easily to throw away the team’s last decent chance on this Saturday… 4-1 Aces. Levis 3-4; Trevino 2-4;

Game 3
LVA: CF Beaudoin – C Wiersma – 3B D. Richardson – RF Rossi – 2B Sprague – 1B Gurney – SS J. Rodriguez – LF O. Burgos – P Frain
POR: 3B A. Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 2B Trevino – RF Ito – 1B Reyna – P Brown

Wiersma, the dismal ****, hit a single in the first, swiftly followed by Richardson walking and Nate Rossi hammering a 3-run homer to left. That was not even the biggest shocker, because the Raccoons actually made up the difference the inning after that on a 3-run homer by Miguel Reyna, plating Kilmer and Cosmo with two outs. Josh Brown doubled after that, but was left on by Ramos. It remained 3-3 for a bit, but the Raccoons got Cosmo and Ito on base with one out in the fourth, and Reyna reached when he was brushed with a 3-2 pitch. Brown came up with the bases loaded and actually landed another hit in rightfield, a single that scored Cosmo and got Ito thrown out at home plate. Berto legged out an infield single on Richardson to restock the bases, and then Frain walked in a run against Cosmo. That made it 5-3 and was the last run of the inning, with Manny’s fast bouncer snared by Pat Gurney to end the inning. The Coons also left them loaded the next inning, then without scoring and with Josh Brown flying out to left to hand the ball back to the Aces.

Brown lasted six and two thirds before bumping against 100 pitches and needing replacement. Tim Zimmerman got the final out in the seventh inning, keeping the score at 5-3, then also retired the top of the order without issue in the eighth. The Coons offense had gone home a while back, but at least Wyatt Hamill found another three outs in a row in the ninth to put the Aces away for the year. 5-3 Raccoons. Morales (PH) 1-1; Maldonado 2-4, 2B; Trevino 2-3, BB; Ito 2-4; Reyna 1-2, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Brown 6.2 IP, 6 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (10-4) and 2-3, 2B, RBI;

In other news

July 24 – Vancouver deals 2B/3B Glenn Sprague (.237, 4 HR, 32 RBI and a prospect to the aces for outfielder Steve Jorgensen (.241, 3 HR, 21 RBI).
July 24 – Outfielder Daniel Hertenstein (.247, 5 HR, 12 RBI) has five hits and four RBI in the Loggers’ 16-2 rush of the Knights.
July 25 – The hitting streak of SFB OF Mike Hall (.307, 2 HR, 43 RBI) ends at 24 games with a dry effort in a 9-5 loss to the Crusaders.
July 25 – Rebels INF/LF/RF Tony Alvarado (.250, 1 HR, 1 RBI) hits a home run in the top of the 20th inning to break an endless tie in his team’s favor. Richmond wins 4-3 in a 6-hour dragfest.
July 27 – LVA SS/2B Chris O’Keefe (.282, 12 HR, 41 RBI) could miss the rest of the season with a torn abdominal muscle.
July 27 – OCT SP Mike Carnes (2-2, 2.99 ERA) is out for a full year and headed for Tommy John surgery with a torn UCL.
July 27 – OCT 1B Danny Cruz (.302, 22 HR, 59 RBI) goes yard for the only run in the Thunder’s 1-0 win over New York.
July 28 – The Canadiens deal INF Ramon Cabral (.257, 9 HR, 43 RBI) to the Rebels for MR Jordan Antonio (3-1, 3.82 ERA, 1 SV) and a prospect.
July 28 – RIC RF Joe Ritchey (.252, 16 HR, 65 RBI) will miss two weeks with a tender shoulder.

FL Player of the Week: RIC 1B Manny Liberos (.251, 23 HR, 77 RBI), hitting .364 (12-33) with 3 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: TIJ RF/1B/LF Willie Ojeda (.342, 11 HR, 50 RBI), batting .360 (9-25) with 4 HR, 7 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Anyone remember Bubba Wolinsky? Our #12 pick from this year’s draft started his professional career 0-6 with the Beagles, but with a 3.43 ERA, so what gives. That might be it for this season, as he’s now out with an oblique strain.

Speaking of young pitchers, the Raccoons dropped out of the Anthony Spooner race when the asking price reached $1.05M, which would be about $1.54M after tax. I’m bat-**** crazy, but not THAT bat-**** crazy.

I have started poking other teams for prospects. Rumor has it that apart from some younger players, everybody is available…

Long road trip coming up, starting at the Bay and continuing through New York and both other Pacific Northwest towns.

Fun Fact: 24 years ago today, Tijuana’s Jimmy Eichelkraut hit three home runs in a 17-6 rout of the Crusaders.

Jimmy Oatmeal was a #3 pick by the Raccoons in the 2006 draft, but never played for them. He languished forever in the minors, but the Raccoons cut their perceived losses early and traded him to the Indians with Daniel Sharp and Ryan Miller in the Ron Alston trade in ’08. He ended up with Tijuana in a separate deal for Jimmy Sjogren after the season. After that he didn’t get a sniff of the majors until 2012, his age 24 season, hitting 0-for-10. He didn’t become a regular until 2015, but then broke out by hitting .291/.353/.524 with 18 homers, and went on to hit 24+ for the next five years in a row after that.

But just as sudden as his star rose, it also dripped below the horizon again. A torn labrum ended his career in 2021 just when it looked like he might actually make a late run for a fringe Hall of Fame case.

Jimmy Oatmeal played in 989 games, hitting .266/.349/.466 with 158 HR and 510 RBI. He stole 66 bases and was an All Star twice.

[Questdog]

At my age, it is actually easier for me to remember Eichelkraut from 30 years ago than Wolinsky from 5 minutes ago... Both good names, though, and I hope you learned your lesson about trading great names away!

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by Questdog

At my age, it is actually easier for me to remember Eichelkraut from 30 years ago than Wolinsky from 5 minutes ago... Both good names, though, and I hope you learned your lesson about trading great names away!

You've been a season ticket holder since the Jimmy Oatmeal days and beyond, and you still hope I learn my lesson ...?

Sir, there is no helping you!

[Westheim]

Only this tiny bit for today, the Monday morning action for the next week. I started playing the week out, but there's too many games left for me to fight through it in the dead-tired state I am in right now. Should be posted tomorrow morning though...

+++

Roster moves

When the Raccoons left down, not all of the litter managed to join: Dr. Padilla diagnosed Nick Lando with a broken claw and he was assigned to the DL instead. He’d be out for about six weeks.

The other departure was Doug Levis (.231, 13 HR, 52 RBI), who was traded to the Warriors with single-A INF/LF Andy Benton for right-hander Jon Craig (1-2, 3.57 ERA, 1 SV), who could be used as a starter, but was better employed in relief.

In a different deal, the Raccoons picked up an offer by the Gold Sox on a busy Monday and took on right-hander Terry Garrigan (1-1, 6.57 ERA) in exchange for AAA 2B Jose Brito. The 27-year-old Brito was a .301 hitter in the majors, much better in a way smaller sample size than his AAA track record. Garrigan had been a fairly steady Knights starter in the mid-30s, but had come apart recently and was a free agent after the season should we tire of him quickly.

To make numbers add up, the Raccoons sent Josh Rella (7.71 ERA) back to the Alley Cats while adding both Garrigan and Craig to the roster. We also added 1B Art Goetz to play first base full-time. Goetz had batted 3-for-9 with a homer in his brief cameo earlier this year.

We thus carried an extra pitcher as the week began, but the trade deadline was near, so who knows?

[Westheim]

Raccoons (53-51) @ Bayhawks (46-57) – July 29-31, 2041

The Baybirds had lost seven in a row, which sounded like a challenge for the lame-bum Critters. San Francisco ranked fourth in runs scored, but bottoms in runs allowed. Their bullpen was especially terrible. The Coons led the season series, 4-2.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (6-8, 5.22 ERA) vs. Jeremy Truett (7-6, 4.04 ERA)
Drew Johnson (6-9, 3.53 ERA) vs. Noe Candeloro (7-8, 3.84 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (6-8, 4.03 ERA) vs. Rick Haugh (4-6, 4.18 ERA)

There it was – the rarest thing: a lefty starter inserted for Tuesday!

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Goetz – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – P Moreno
SFB: SS J. Gonzalez – 1B S. Ayala – RF D. Martinez – CF M. Hall – 2B Gould – 3B G. Ortiz – LF M. Castillo – C J. Hill – P Truett

The Raccoons’ first hit was an Art Goetz single, while their first run(s) were courtesy of Tony Hunter’s 2-out homer to right in the third inning, scoring Nels, who had dropped a 1-out single. At that point, Moreno held the Bayhawks hitless, but he would give up a home run to the opposing pitcher, Truett, before the third inning was out… It shortened the score to 2-1 through three innings and moved Moreno up the list for deletion to St. Pete as the week developed.

Tony Morales hit a solo jack in the fourth, but that run was eaten up on two Bayhawks singles and Mel Castillo’s sac fly in the bottom of the same inning, 3-2. San Fran also put a pair on in the fifth as Moreno remained unable to get hitters away with two strikes, whiffing just two Bayhawks in five innings, including Truett whenever he didn’t blast a bomb. The Raccoons kept scrambling at least, with Tony Hunter reaching on an error by Sal Ayala to begin the top 6th and stealing his 25th bag before scoring on Jesus Maldonado’s triple to left. Manny Fernandez lined out to Jorge Gonzalez for the second out, but Art Goetz fired a blast to left for a 2-out, 2-run homer to extend the lead to 6-2. Bill Balaski drew a leadoff walk in the seventh, then was doubled in by Berto, who advanced on a Hunter single and scored on a sac fly to center by Manny, 8-2. Moreno wound up squeezing his way through seven innings, retiring the Bayhawks in order in the sixth and seventh innings before being sat down on 105 pitches. The Raccoons then went to new acquisition Terry Garrigan with the intent of having him deliver the final two innings. Ayala opened with a single off him in the bottom 8th, but was doubled up by Dave Martinez. Mike Hall also grounded out, but the ninth began with Thomas Gould and Greg Ortiz reaching. Castillo hit into a fielder’s choice, but John Hill hit an RBI single, and the Raccoons went to Chuck Jones when Dick Oshiita pinch-hit in the #9 hole. Oshiita flew out, but Jorge Gonzalez’ RBI single and a walk to Ayala loaded the bags with the tying run in the box, and that was merely Martinez with 24 homers to his name. Indeed, facing David Lindstrom, he hit a ball over the fence …… after it bounced on the warning track for a 2-run ground-rule double. Hall then flew out to Balaski. 8-6 Raccoons. Ramos 2-5, 2B, RBI; Hunter 3-5, HR, 2 RBI; Goetz 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Moreno 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, W (7-8) and 1-2;

The rulebook says that David Lindstrom will get a save for his bothers in this game, but not whether that will save him from my anger.

Game 2
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – RF Ito – 1B Goetz – 3B Trawick – P Johnson
SFB: SS J. Gonzalez – 1B S. Ayala – RF D. Martinez – CF M. Hall – 2B Gould – 3B G. Ortiz – LF M. Castillo – C Canas – P Candeloro

Hits by Cosmo, Maldo (double), and Kilmer were good enough for two runs in the first inning against Candeloro. Johnson didn’t allow a runner in the first two innings, then started to lose command. He walked one batter in the third, then two in the fourth. Greg Ortiz also hit an RBI double in the inning. Candeloro opened the bottom 5th with a single, moved up on a grounder, then was sent around when Ayala singled to right. Rikuto Ito threw him out at the plate, and also his own arm out of alignment, and Dr. Padilla had to collect him and arrange replacement by Miguel Reyna. To throw some salt into the wounds, Dave Martinez then rammed a score-flipping, 2-out jack to put the Raccoons in arrears, 3-2.

While Johnson had his fur ruffled, the Coons came back in the sixth. Maldo and Kilmer hit 1-out singles off Candeloro, who then gave up a screaming 2-run triple into the rightfield corner to Reyna, giving Portland the lead back, 4-3. Goetz added an RBI single on a 1-2 pitch. Jake Trawick was nicked, Johnson bunted both runners over, but Hunter struck out to strand them. Then Johnson offered a leadoff walk to Gould in the 5-3 game and was soon removed from the bottom 6th. Jon Craig made his Coons debut in style, giving up a double to Mel Castillo that saw Gould thrown out at home plate by Maldonado, then a game-tying homer to Rodrigo Canas, five-all. In the aftermath, the Raccoons couldn’t bring another run across, stranding Tony Hunter at third base in the ninth inning when Manny flew out to Castillo in deep left. Castillo also ended the game after that, taking Alex Ramirez deep to right to lead off the bottom 9th. 6-5 Bayhawks. Trevino 3-5; Maldonado 2-4, 2B, RBI; Kilmer 2-4, RBI; Reyna 1-2, 3B, 2 RBI; Balaski 1-1;

Rikuto Ito was now day-to-day with a sore elbow, which reduced the Raccoons’ bench to three and a half players. Nevertheless, no further deals were made on deadline day. We tried to get some sort of second baseman or outfielder, but didn’t get the right offer.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Goetz – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – P Chavez
SFB: SS J. Gonzalez – 1B S. Ayala – RF D. Martinez – CF M. Hall – 2B Gould – LF M. Castillo – 3B Deming – C J. Hill – P Haugh

Bernie Chavez walked three batters in the first inning, conceding a run on a Mike Hall single that also saw Dave Martinez erased in a rundown, so it could conceivably have come even worse. Bernie would remain shaky after that, mixing in long fly balls with the 3-ball counts, which made for some uncomfortable watching. The Coons had Maldo and Goetz on in the second, but Cosmo hit into a double play. In the fourth inning, they loaded the bases with Hunter, Maldo (reached on a Sonny Deming error) and Morales, then brought up Art Goetz with one out. He hit a sac fly to tie the game, and Cosmo ripped a double to put Portland up, 2-1. Balaski was NOT intentionally walked despite first base being open with two outs and flew out to Hall instead.

Bernie deferred another cockup for another inning, then opened the fifth with a single to right. The bags filled with Berto and Hunter also getting on, hence nobody out, hence without a doubt deflation in due order. Promptly, Manny Fernandez hit into a double play, 4-6-3. Bernie scored, but it was the only score in the inning, with Maldo K’ing. Bernie then gave up that run on a walk, a passed ball, and a Hall single in the bottom of the inning, then also wasn’t seen again after three hits, five walks, five strikeouts, and two runs in five muddy innings.

Top 6th, bags full once more with one out and a leadoff walk dawn by Morales and Cosmo and Balaski singles. Ito batted for Bernie, but was limited to a sac fly. Berto hit a 2-out single to right. Cosmo went for home from second base, with Dave Martinez’ throw off the mark and sending John Hill to chase after it. The error brought Cosmo across and the other runners into scoring position, 5-2, before Hunter and Manny each tacked on a run with a single. Maldonado struck out again, giving a 7-2 lead to the rightfully-maligned bullpen. Terry Garrigan stumbled through the sixth, then was hit for in the top 7th with the bags full AGAIN with the 6-7-8 batters this time, and one out. Right-hander Josh Irwin offered four pitches out of the zone to PH Jeff Kilmer, forcing in a run, while Berto drew a walk in a full count to bring in another. Hunter then killed the effort with a double play. Tim Zimmerman then gave the Raccoons two quick innings with a 7-run lead. Bottom 9th, Lindstrom opened the inning with walks to Castillo and Deming before Hill popped out at 3-1. I sighed. When Oshiita pinch-hit again, Brent Clark came on and got a groundout, then struck out Gonzalez to end the game. 9-2 Coons. Hunter 3-5, RBI; Trevino 3-5, 2B, RBI; Balaski 2-4; Zimmerman 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

Raccoons (55-52) @ Crusaders (61-47) – August 1-4, 2041

Not sure when the Crusaders had become playoff candidates, but I’d take them over the damn Elks any day. But if the Raccoons wanted to remain theoretically relevant, they had to start winning a series against one of the top three teams in the division at some point… New York was fifth in runs scored and second in runs allowed. They also held a 4-3 lead in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Corey Mathers (0-2, 2.93 ERA) vs. Paul Paris (3-4, 4.37 ERA)
Josh Brown (10-4, 3.38 ERA) vs. Todd Lush (9-10, 4.00 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (7-8, 5.07 ERA) vs. Jeff Johnson (9-4, 3.70 ERA)
Drew Johnson (6-9, 3.59 ERA) vs. Ernesto Lujan (10-5, 3.86 ERA)

Lush was another southpaw; this was even a flayed rotation, with various starters (Tommy Iezzi, Dave Hils, Aaron Hickey) on the DL. Included was the rookie to open the set on Thursday; the 23-year-old Paris had been the #3 pick in last year’s draft and had bee-lined his way to the majors. He had made just one appearance in AAA to begin the season before joining the Crusaders, initially in the pen. 95mph cutter and a plus-plus curve on that kid.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Goetz – 2B Trevino – LF – Reyna – RF Balaski – P Mathers
NYC: SS Adame – 3B Graf – CF Besaw – C Alba – 2B Briones – LF Platero – 1B Rudd – RF Salek – P Paris

The Crusaders were driving their manager insane early on, drawing four walks and landing four hits off Corey Mathers in the first three innings and scoring but one meekly run when Mario Briones walked with the bases loaded in the bottom 3rd. This included having the first *two* batters reach base in every inning in the stretch. Rich Salek hit into a double play in the second, and Jose Platero whiffed and Tom Rudd popped out with three on and one out in the third. Meanwhile, the Raccoons appeared barely sentient. Through five innings, they amounted to two base hits, both by Art Goetz, including a leadoff double in the fifth that led absolutely nowhere. Mathers had a clean fourth, then shuffled the bags full with a hit and two walks in the fifth inning and was yanked with the bags full and two outs, and Tom Rudd batting. – Actually, this shambolic performance would serve the Raccoons well in resolving their roster squeeze, allowing us to send Mathers back to AAA and trying Terry Garrigan as a starter next time around. For the time being, Chuck Jones came in and got a groundout to Trevino from Rudd, thus ending the inning and keeping the score, inexplicably, at 1-0 through five.

The Crusaders then got a double from Salek to begin the sixth and plated that runner on Alex Adame’s sac fly. That run was on Jones. The Coons didn’t make the board until after a scoreless appearance from Jon Craig in the bottom 7th, when Manny Fernandez opened the inning by pinch-hitting for him and fired a blast to right for a home run that cut the gap in half. Berto then struck out, but Hunter walked and stole his 26th bag. Maldonado was about to pop out foul at 0-2, but Rudd dropped the ball in foul ground, extending the at-bat until Paris nicked Maldo with a 2-2 pitch. That was Paris’ end, with right-hander Mike Gutierrez replacing him against Tony Morales, which was perhaps not the greatest choice on paper. On the field, though, both Morales and Goetz struck out, ending the top 8th. In the ninth, ex-Coon Josh Livingston retired the first two before allowing a single to Bill Balaski. Jeff Kilmer pinch-hit in the #9 hole, sent a fly to deep left … but not long enough. He flew out to Fabien Ugolino. 2-1 Crusaders. Goetz 2-4, 2B; Fernandez (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

Corey Mathers (0-3, 2.78 ERA) was thus assigned back to St. Pete. By the way, everybody loves Steve Nickas, right?

Right?

Game 2
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – RF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 1B Goetz – LF Trawick – 3B Nickas – P Brown
NYC: LF Rudd – 3B Graf – CF Besaw – 2B Briones – RF Platero – C D. Phillips – SS Miles – 1B Lovett – P Lush

Portland scored quick in the Friday affair, with Hunter drawing a walk, Cosmo whacking a double, and Maldonado crushing a 3-run homer to overcome Manny Fernandez’ comebacker. Then Brown put on the first three purple hats that appeared at the plate, yielding a walk and two singles before Briones hit into a fielder’s choice and Platero grounded into a double play to stop the shenanigans at one run on Joe Besaw’s RBI single. Instead, come the bottom 2nd, he served up the first major league hit of rookie Adam Lovett – a 420-footer to left, narrowing the lead to 3-2.

Brown was then completely taken apart in the third inning, the conclusion of which he wouldn’t witness. Rudd, Joe Graf, Joe Besaw all singled to begin the inning. Briones tied the game with a fielder’s choice grounder, while in full counts Platero walked and Devin Phillips hit an RBI single, 4-3. Tyler Miles whacked a 2-run single, the runners reached scoring position, and at 6-3 it was ENOUGH. Lindstrom replaced Brown, surrendered a 3-run homer to the ******* rookie Lovett, and I couldn’t quite decide whether I wanted to throw myself off the top deck right away or wait for the players in the poo-colored shirts to walk off the field to strangle them individually, and only THEN throw myself off the top deck.

Anyway, it was 9-3 through three innings, and thus game violently over. Lindstrom pitched through the conclusion of five, surrendering another run in the fourth and a Lovett single in the fifth, both of which added an equal amount of thickness to my strained neck. Portland, after conceding TEN runs unanswered, responded with Maldo and Kilmer singles in the sixth inning. Maldo went for third base, Besaw threw the ball wildly across the infield for an error, and Maldo scored, 10-4, with Kilmer into scoring position, where he was left to wither and die. Tyler Miles homered off Zimmerman in the bottom 7th for an extra run before things mildly escalated when Joe Graf decided to be a ******* **** in the eighth inning. Reaching base on a walk offered by Brent Clark, Graf with a 7-run lead and two outs from his team being done batting for the day, stole not one, but two bases off the Coons. New pitcher Terry Garrigan got a subtle sign from the bench – bench coach Erik Mango pointing between his own black googly eyes with grim expression – to ******* drill the next batter – Besaw – which Garrigan promptly did. He also nailed PH Fabien Ugolino without a prompt, which got the Crusaders on the top of their dugout railing, but no fight broke out. They also didn’t score, leaving the bases loaded when Phillips grounded out to Ramos at third base. Berto had entered earlier in a double switch; he also made the final out of the game. After Tony Morales hit into a double play to erase Balaski’s leadoff single in the ninth, Berto struck out feebly. 11-4 Crusaders. Maldonado 2-3, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Balaski (PH) 1-1;

We will henceforth lovingly call this the Adam Lovett game. In a way I wished he’d hit another homer (he grounded out his final time up) so we could have relished in the infamy forever.

Not even that – lasting infamy – is something this team can achieve. They’re just plain old boilerplate bad.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Goetz – RF Balaski – CF Reyna – 2B Nickas – P Moreno
NYC: SS Adame – CF Graf – C Alba – 2B Briones – LF Platero – 1B Rudd – CF Ugolino – RF Salek – P J. Johnson

Not walking Steve Nickas (.125, 0 HR, 1 RBI) intentionally in the second inning with Balaski and Reyna in scoring position and two outs was an entirely defensible call that nevertheless backfired on the Crusaders immediately when Nickas uncharacteristically shot a hard grounder through Joe Graf for a 2-run double up the line for the first runs in the game. Moreno then struck out, although his batting was not our chief concern at this stage. He walked Graf (who stole second again) in the first, then allowed singles to Rudd and Salek in the second inning, but for now the Crusaders did not bring him to harm. Graf singled again in the third inning, but was doubled up by Fernando Alba to end the inning before he could get any ideas. The Crusaders would out-hit the Coons through five innings, 4-3, but didn’t get a run on the board.

While Jeff Johnson shut down the Critters, whiffing seven through six innings, Moreno’s K-ing of Graf to begin the bottom 6th was only his third strikeout of the day. He then briskly proceeded to yield singles to Alba and Briones, but then started a 1-4-3 double play on a Platero bouncer to elope danger. Then Tom Rudd opened the seventh with a “triple” on which Miguel Reyna oughta get an offensive assist – I was surely much offended by him first rushing in, then leaving skidmarks and racing back, chasing the ball all the way to the fence. Moreno walked Ugolino, but Salek popped out. The Crusaders did not hit for Johnson, who flew out to Manny. Rudd went for home – where he was met by Morales and the baseball and slapped out to end the seventh. After 103 pitches, that was almost it for Moreno, but he’d come back out to face Adame in the bottom 8th, a righty batter before we planned to go to Jones. He gave up a single, while Jones gave up a single to Graf. Adame went to third base, from where he scored on Alba’s double play grounder. Briones doubled off Alex Ramirez after that, but somehow the inning didn’t fall apart and the Raccoons might actually get to use a terribly bored Wyatt Hamill for once. No insurance runs came about – the Coons only amounted to six hits total in regulation – and Hamill would not face three left-handers as scheduled, but a flock of right-handed pinch-hitters. The first two – Phillips and Lovett – both flew out to Balaski. Justin LeClerc struck out. 2-1 Coons. Morales 2-4; Nickas 2-3, 2B, 2 RBI; Moreno 7.0 IP, 8 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, W (8-8);

We would get a different opponent on Sunday. Right-hander Chris Inderrieden, 33, had been left over on the free agent market and had not signed until this week, getting a $405k deal for the last two months from the Crusaders. He had gone 8-10 with a 4.82 ERA for Cincy last year, and would make his season debut against the Critters. We were hoping for some rust having accumulated on him.

Game 4
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – RF Balaski – 1B Goetz – SS Nickas – P D. Johnson
NYC: SS Adame – 3B Graf – CF Besaw – C Alba – LF Platero – RF Salek – 2B Miles – 1B Rudd – P Inderrieden

Berto stole his 13th base of the year (and 670th of his career) in the first inning after opening the game with a single to left. Cosmo walked before the big boys in the 3-4 slots struck out. Kilmer hit a single to load the bags and Balaski was up 3-0 on Inderrieden before ripping away. I screamed in horror, but his fly to right stretched beyond the glove of Salek and fell for a bases-clearing double, putting Portland up 3-0 in the first again (because that worked so well on Friday…). Thankfully, Art Goetz topped things off with a home run to straightaway center, 5-0, before Nickas grounded out. Yup, looks like rust to me. Poor Chris Inderrieden logged only one more out on Drew Johnson before being dismembered and swallowed by the long-toothed Critters. Berto singled, Cosmo got on, Manny plated both of them with a screaming liner, and then Maldonado mashed a 2-run homer to seal the deal on Inderrieden: nine runs, all earned, in 1.1 innings.

The Critters made it ten runs by the third inning when Berto singled home Goetz, before Drew Johnson tried to blow the lead in the bottom of the inning, getting socked around for five hits and as many runs, starting with a single by reliever Mike Lynn, who then drew a leadoff walk the next inning. There was some stern talking to Johnson on the mound at that stage… The Crusaders had seven hits and three walks on him through four, against no strikeouts. At least Lynn was gone with nobody out in the fifth, walking Nickas before Joe Graf’s throwing error put both Nickas and Johnson in scoring position. Ex-Coon Chris Wise came in to whiff Berto, but conceded one run on Cosmo’s grounder, and two more when Manny took him deep.

…and yet, despite THIRTEEN ******* runs of support, Johnson didn’t get the ******* W. Platero opened the bottom 5th with a double, Salek walked, and then he was yanked. (He was on 89 pitches anyway.) Chuck Jones came on and got two outs before surrendering a 2-run double to Adam Lovett, who was hurriedly becoming my favorite player on another team… it was thus 13-7 through five, in case you had trouble keeping up. The Critters would not reach base in the next two innings, but the Crusaders put two on in the sixth, then had Tyler Miles whack a leadoff double off Jon Craig in the bottom 7th. Tom Rudd flew out to Balaski. Miles went for third base, Balaski unleashed another catastrophic throw, and Miles scored on the error as the little ball (the baseball) kept rolling away from a panting big ball (Ramos) in foul territory, 13-8. Then the next three batters loaded the bases against Craig, who was yanked for Ramirez, who allowed one run on a Besaw groundout, 13-9. The real question was not whether the Raccoons would win this game at this point, but whether Hamill would blow the save or whether they’d get it done in the eighth already. Maldo shot a triple in the eighth, the first Coons runner since the fifth inning and also the third leg of the cycle, for which he was only missing the single at this stage. He scored on Kilmer’s single, but Balaski ended the inning with a lineout. A Miles triple and a subsequent Ramirez error also got the Crusaders into double digits, 14-10, with two outs in the bottom 8th. When Alex Adame ripped a 2-out double, the Raccoons brought Hamill into the game in a double switch. Joe Graf ended the inning with a HARD liner at Manny Fernandez. The Coons fizzled out in the ninth before Maldonado got a chance to bat again, and Hamill retired the Crusaders in order before I could blow a gasket. 14-10 Critters. Ramos 3-6, RBI; Fernandez 2-5, HR, 4 RBI; Maldonado 3-5, HR, 3B, 2B, 2 RBI; Kilmer 2-3, 2 BB, 2 RBI; Goetz 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Ito 1-1;

Chuck Jones got the win by virtue of being the first to replace Drew “Choking” Johnson. He logged four outs for no runs on his own ledger.

In other news

July 29 – The Titans deal SP Rich Willett (10-3, 2.71 ERA) to the Scorpions for five prospects, none of them ranked.
July 29 – Capitals CL Roland Warner (2-2, 3.31 ERA, 21 SV) will miss a month with a sprained ankle.
July 30 – The Capitals put 10 runs on the Wolves in the seventh inning on their way to a 13-2 win. Batting eighth, Washington’s 2B/3B Rich Falzone (.241, 6 HR, 39 RBI) has a home run, two walks, and drives in four runs.
July 30 – The Miners get SP Israel Mendoza (2-9, 4.22 ERA) from the Aces for two prospects. The package includes #64 prospect OF Enrique Jara.
July 31 – The Cyclones will be without 1B Danny Santillano (.328, 14 HR, 60 RBI) for the month of August. The 35-year-old slugger is out with a broken hand.

FL Player of the Week: CIN 3B Jesus Burgos (.296, 2 HR, 36 RBI), batting .480 (12-25) with 1 HR, 6 RBI
CL Player of the Week: NYC LF/CF Joe Besaw (.302, 7 HR, 79 RBI), hitting .519 (14-27) with 1 HR, 11 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: TIJ/WAS INF Chris Strohm (.288, 4 HR, 54 RBI), batting .426 with 1 HR, 17 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: NYC LF/CF Joe Besaw (.295, 7 HR, 75 RBI), hitting .351 with 4 HR, 26 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SAC SP Craig Czyszczon (14-4, 2.64 ERA), twirling for a 5-0 record with 0.46 ERA, 19 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: IND SP Jake Jackson (9-9, 3.39 ERA), pitching to a 4-0 mark with 1.97 ERA, 41 K
FL Rookie of the Month: RIC LF Pablo Gonzalez (.299, 14 HR, 48 RBI), swatting .311 with 6 HR, 14 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: SFB C John Hill (.326, 2 HR, 20 RBI), all of which he hit for this month

Complaints and stuff

What a weird week. We have another scrub to hate (Adam Lovett), and Steve Nickas actually won a ******* ballgame all on his own. Now, he’s not a great hitter by any stretched definition of “great” or “hitter” (.198, 1 HR, 18 RBI for his career), but he’ll be able to show his grandkits that Saturday box score at some point and explain how that W was *all* their old Grandpa Steve.

It’s also not that I didn’t try to get Manny Fernandez a ring before the deadline, but we didn’t get a good enough offer for him to pull the trigger. In the end only Levis was shipped out. Whether Goetz is a long-term answer is doubtful; there are some hostile scouting reports of him out there.

Angelo Montano came off the DL on the weekend. Rather than add him to the glut of pitching on the roster at that point, we sent him on a rehab assignment to AAA.

Anthony Spooner signed this week, becoming a Bayhawk. The 16-year-old inked for $1.42M for his own coffers, which also netted the Bayhawks, who had already signed five other teenagers for $207k, a hefty tax bill from the league office amounting to another $1.07M. Even though the Raccoons would have gotten away a little cheaper (for the first time in many years we did not sign a single player), this would have broken our budget before trading away Doug Levis’ remaining salary on Monday.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons are by now seven games over their pythagorean record, tied with another Oregon team.

At least the Wolves would still have a winning record. The Coons oughta be 50-61, which sounds rough.

Despite that unhinged bullpen of ours, we remain far and above everybody else in 1-run games and extra-inning affairs. While the 25-18 record in the former category is not the best in the league (but close), with the Falcons leading the charge there, our 13-2 extra-inning record is unrivalled by anybody. Only the Stars (10-5) are even vaguely in the same ballpark. Closest by winning percentage would be the Falcons, but they get discarded on account of a small sample size (3-1).

The Raccoons haven’t deviated from their pythagorean record by more than six games in over 30 years. 2007 was the last time we were seven over (but still fell to the Crusaders). The last time we were at least seven under was wretched, wicked 1997, when the team was hit by every falling piano imaginable and ended up 14 games under their pythagorean record of 82-80.

…and, you know, kicked off the decade of darkness.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (57-54) @ Canadiens (63-49) – August 5-7, 2041

The Raccoons were three 4-game splits into their season series with the despicable Elks, but that stuff was over now – only 3-game sets left, so now we’d play them until someone cried. Baseball is for winners anyway. Baseball is not for teams that split every 4-game set. Baseball is not for the Raccoons.

The damn Elks ranked first in the league in runs scored (and batting average, and homers, and …) and third in runs allowed, with a +108 run differential. In case you weren’t sure, the Raccoons were still solidly under being even even in run distribution, coming in with a -49 run differential.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (7-8, 4.01 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (12-5, 2.98 ERA)
Terry Garrigan (1-1, 6.59 ERA) vs. Eric Weitz (10-8, 4.20 ERA)
Josh Brown (10-5, 3.84 ERA) vs. David Arias (7-5, 3.72 ERA)

Three right-handers coming up here. And while Johnny Lopez was now on the DL for Elk City, they had both of Jerry Outram and Dan Schneller more or less healthy for the first time in a good while… and yet none of them was in the lineup on Monday. In Schneller’s case the reason was still being tangled up on a rehab assignment.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Goetz – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – P Chavez
VAN: SS Obando – C Clemente – RF J. Becker – 1B DeVita – LF Jorgensen – 2B M. Roberts – CF Peralta – 3B R. Ashley – P Sealock

Singles by Cosmo, Balaski, and Berto amounted to the game’s first run in the third inning, but Hunter struck out and Fernandez flew out to Steve Jorgensen to keep it at that lone run. Art Goetz’ fumbling Ray Ashley’s grounder and a Guillermo Obando single got the damn Elks to the corners in the bottom of the inning, but Bernie got a 6-4-3 grounder from Timóteo Clemente to get out of the inning unharmed. Portland added a run in the fourth on another triplet of singles, this time by Maldo, who was forced out by Goetz, Cosmo, and Balaski.

Bernie looked *fine* through five innings, scattering three hits, but getting only two strikeouts while also walking nobody, and he had yet to send the outfielders racing towards the fences at breakneck speed. But the bottom 6th began with Obando singling to right, stealing second, and reaching third on a Clemente single, putting the damn Elks on the corners with the tying runs and nobody out. Justin Becker singled through the hole on the left side to cut the lead in half, and Marc DeVita’s grounder to short for a fielder’s choice moved Clemente to third base. …and then Jorgensen stabbed a ball to Cosmo for a 4-6-3 double play, keeping the Raccoons afloat, just barely. The damn Elks were on the corners again in the seventh, though, with Antonio Peralta walking and PH Matt Dear hitting a single. With Roy Pincus pinch-hitting, the Raccoons brought a new right-hander. Lindstrom nailed Pincus to load the bags, then struck out Obando before with two outs, Clemente drilled a long ball to left. Long, longer – caught by Manny Fernandez at the top of the ******* fence!! I almost fell off my couch at home in relief. But, boys, how about an insurance run, or two, or six??

Nah. Jordan Calderon retired them in order in the top 8th, while Becker opened the bottom of the inning with a single off Lindstrom. He advanced twice on grounders before the Raccoons sent Brent Clark after the .122 lefty Matt Roberts, getting an easy first-pitch grounder to Cosmo. Top 9th: Morales grounded out against Calderon, who then got to see a few righty pinch-hitters to see how he’d like them apples. He walked Rikuto Ito, then allowed a single to Cosmo before Kilmer batted for Balaski. Kilmer ran the count full before hitting a looper up the leftfield line that dropped mere inches from the chalk, but clearly fair, and became an RBI double! Jake Trawick was intentionally walked when he hit for Clark, loading the bags for Berto, who whipped a single up the middle, 4-1. The inning ended with a Hunter sac fly and Manny whiffing against new pitcher Michael Donovan. Tim Zimmerman then ended the game without major fuss – a 2-out single by Victor Vazquez being all the damn Elks amounted to – in the bottom of the ninth. 5-1 Raccoons. Ramos 2-5, 2 RBI; Trevino 3-4; Balaski 2-3, RBI; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; Chavez 6.1 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 3 K, W (8-8);

Jerry Outram never got into the game, which could have taken a very different course if they had gotten a 3-run homer from him at one of many, many, maaany junctions where they were parked up on the corners and then choked.

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 2B Trevino – 1B Reyna – RF Balaski – P Garrigan
VAN: SS Obando – C Clemente – CF Outram – 1B DeVita – LF Jorgensen – 2B M. Roberts – RF V. Vazquez – 3B Meehan – P Weitz

The Coons hoped for basic decency in Garrigan’s spot start, but he already expended almost 30 pitches in the opening inning, in which the Canadiens never reached third base. Instead, Portland took a lead in the top 2nd, which began with Maldonado plunked. Cosmo walked, Reyna skipped an RBI single, and so did Balaski. Garrigan grounded to Roberts, who misfiled the ball for a run-scoring error. Berto popped out to Jorgensen, but Tony Hunter shoved a ball up the middle for an RBI single with two outs, 4-0. Manny singled to load the bases, but Maldonado popped out to strand a full set. The damn Elks then right away hit two singles off Garrigan in the bottom 2nd, but Jamie Meehan – a veteran AAA player last seen in the majors with the ’36 Loggers! – hit into a double play and Weitz struck out in a full count, the fifth full count Garrigan ran on the damn Elks in the game…

It was all too obvious that this could not go well. In the third inning, the damn Elks shattered the Raccoons’ lead, scoring four runs on four spicily laced hits, starting with a Guillermo Obando triple. Two singles, a DeVita double and advance on a throw to home plate, and Jorgensen’s sac fly later, we were all even at four. The Elks added a run when Outram (there he was…!) singled home Obando in the fourth inning, then another one when Matt Roberts hit a single and Garrigan walked the next four batters in the bottom of the fifth – that included a bases-loaded walk to Eric Weitz, which was also the end for Garrigan. Jon Craig, the other pointless deadline acquisition, came in and at least kept the game close with a K to Obando and a fly to right from Clemente, stranding the bases loaded in a 6-4 game.

The only problem for the Critters was that they had no base hits off Weitz ever after rushing him for four in the second inning. They didn’t reach scoring position again until – briefly – in the eighth inning when Manny Fernandez socked a homer to right, a solo shot of course. That narrowed the game to 6-5, with Tim Zimmerman retiring the 1-2-3 in order in the bottom 8th to allow for a comeback against Josh Boles, ex-Coon. Cosmo opened with a single, then was forced out by Reyna right away. Art Goetz hit for Zimmerman in the #8 spot, but flew out easily to Outram. Ito whiffed to end the game. 6-5 Canadiens. Fernandez 3-4, HR, RBI;

Well, Honeypaws, we saw that coming, didn’t we? (nods along with Honeypaws)

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 2B Trevino – 1B Goetz – RF Ito – P Brown
VAN: SS Obando – 3B R. Ashley – CF Outram – RF J. Becker – LF Jorgensen – 1B DeVita – C Dear – 2B M. Roberts – P D. Arias

Brown bled three hits and a run in the first, Ray Ashley singling home Obando after a leadoff double. He was also the first Brownshirt to reach base, which made me sigh and accept defeat. Obando scored again in the bottom 3rd on a single, stolen base, throwing error by Kilmer, and then Outram’s 2-out single. I resigned myself to fate and sunk deeper into the cushions with Honeypaws tightly clenched to my chest.

Technically, this was too soon, though. Come the fourth, Art Goetz rammed a ball into the gap with two outs and scored Kilmer and Cosmo to tie the game at two. The Coons even took a 3-2 lead in the fifth, an inning in which they stole three bases and still somehow only scored one run. Berto reached base initially, but was forced out by Tony Hunter, who stole second and scored on a Manny Fernandez single. Maldo reached base, both pulled off a double steal, but Kilmer fanned and Cosmo floated a pop behind Ray Ashley that ended the inning. Then the .133 batter Roberts whacked a leadoff double up the rightfield line and was brought around to score to tie the game in the bottom of the inning… This led to Brent Clark being brought in when the Raccoons held a 4-3 lead on an Ito homer in the sixth, and Brown shuffled the bases full with two outs and the left-handed scrap hitter approaching again. This time he chased Ito into the gap – but the ball was caught and the damn Elks were denied for the time being. It was hard to watch though, and I covered my eyes with Honeypaws at times.

Manny added length with a solo homer to right in the seventh that knocked out Arias in a 5-3 game. That lead was expertly blown by David Lindstrom in the bottom 7th, allowing singles to Clemente and Obando, a booming game-tying double to Outram, and then another RBI single to Jorgensen. The eighth was uneventful, meaning another chance to do nothing against Josh Boles in the ninth inning of a 6-5 game. Trawick led off as pinch-hitter, the only right-hander we could find. He grounded out. Berto flew out to left. Hunter popped out. 6-5 Canadiens. Ramos 2-5; Fernandez 2-5, HR, 2 RBI;

Thanks for bringing me the phone, Honeypaws. I need to … (dials) … Yes, hello? Dr. Zwiebelkopf? – Did you see the Raccoons game? I need an emergency session!

Raccoons (58-56) @ Wolves (65-49) – August 9-11, 2041

We’d complete our Pacific Northwest tour with a 3-game set in Salem, where I rejoined the team on Friday after Dr. Zwiebelkopf talked me off the ledge on Thursday. The Wolves were chasing the reborn Scorpions in the FL West, and entered the weekend 3 1/2 games out. They were second in runs scored, but third from the bottom in runs allowed in the Federal League, which sounded nothing like the Wolves. But their vaunted pitching had fallen apart over the last 12 months, and now their rotation was mostly Ryan Bedrosian (13-7, 2.84 ERA) and hopes for better days. We had last played them in ’39, losing two of three.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (8-8, 4.87 ERA) vs. Miguel Montoya (2-0, 4.74 ERA)
Drew Johnson (6-9, 3.92 ERA) vs. John Gano (7-8, 4.71 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (8-8, 3.90 ERA) vs. Kyle Dominy (10-9, 4.85 ERA)

All right-handers here. The Wolves also had a flurry of injuries not limited to pitchers (Joe Hicks, Joe Dishon, Jon Pereira…), but also infielders Bob Mancini and Sergio Barcia. Jose Castro, standout defensive shortstop, was not on the DL, but still dealt with a bum shoulder.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 2B Trevino – 1B Goetz – RF Balaski – P Moreno
SAL: RF Kristoff – CF A. Herrera – LF J. Rivera – C Kuhlmann – 1B B. Jenkins – 2B A. Castillo – 3B Bunyon – SS Camden – P M. Montoya

The spot starter Montoya scattered runners everywhere, but the Raccoons initially only scored on a solo homer by Art Goetz, not hitting in the clutch in the slightest. Moreno was well behind after four innings, having surrendered the tying run on Brad Jenkins’ leadoff double and two productive outs in the second inning, then two more runs on just getting waffled around in the fourth inning, where Alex Castillo and Donovan Bunyon, replacement infielders, both knocked 2-out RBI hits. Moreno then erred on base himself with a leadoff single in the fifth inning. Berto and Manny joined him there, bringing up Maldonado with three aboard and one gone. After a grounder to short it was none aboard and three gone, 6-4-3. Instead, the Wolves added two runs with three straight 2-out hits off hopeless Nelson Moreno in the bottom 5th. Jose Rivera singled, Morgan Kuhlmann doubled, and Bill Jenkins scored the both of them with a single to right.

The Coons looked beaten, trailing 5-1 through six with Moreno long sent to the showers. Miguel Reyna pinch-hit for Brent Clark in the #9 hole to open the seventh inning and drew a walk from Montoya. Berto singled, sending him to third base. Hunter singled, scoring Reyna. The tying run was thus at the plate with nobody out, but Manny grounded out (advancing the runners) and Maldo was brushed by a pitch to load the bases for Kilmer, who turned three on and one gone into … yes, 4-6-3.

Because failing twice was not enough, the Raccoons opened the eighth with singles by Cosmo and Goetz off Russell Maratta. Bill Balaski drove a ball *all the way* to the fence… where it was caught by Rai Higashi. Reyna hit a sac fly, but Berto popped out to Alex Castillo. Tony Hunter would draw a leadoff walk in the ninth… and also never left first base. 5-3 Wolves. Fernandez 2-5; Trevino 2-4; Goetz 2-4, HR, RBI;

Game 2
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Goetz – RF Balaski – 3B Trawick – P Johnson
SAL: RF Kristoff – CF A. Herrera – C Kuhlmann – 1B B. Jenkins – 2B A. Castillo – LF Higashi – 3B Camden – SS J. Castro – P Gano

The Wolves built a 4-0 lead in four innings by hitting a few singles alright, but mostly waited for the Raccoons to pull a stupid move. The Raccoons did so three times, collecting that many errors on terrible throws to some base or other. One was on Johnson, two on Morales, not that there was much of a point in absolving one over the other. The Coons had only two hits through five innings, effortlessly rolling over for their fourth loss in a row. When the Raccoons did score a run in the seventh inning, it was a wild pitch by Gano that brought Manny Fernandez – leadoff double! – across from third base with two outs and two strikes on Art Goetz (who obviously struck out). Justin Kristoff countered with a homer thumped off Johnson to begin the bottom of the inning, restoring a 4-run gap, and screaming extra-base hits by Kuhlmann and Jenkins added another run before Lindstrom replaced Johnson and surrendered the seventh run on Castillo whacking a double. The Coons got another run in the eighth, Trawick coming across on not one, but TWO wild pitches by Gano. TWO ******* WILD PITCHES!! That was all the Critters amounted to on Saturday, when they also first dropped out of the division race by double digits. 7-2 Wolves. Trawick 1-2, BB;

Not saying that we still had a chance here. Just saying it’s double digits now.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 1B Maldonado – C Morales – 2B Trevino – RF Ito – CF Reyna – P Chavez
SAL: RF Kristoff – CF A. Herrera – LF J. Rivera – C Kuhlmann – 1B B. Jenkins – 2B A. Castillo – 3B Bunyon – SS J. Castro – P Bedrosian

As a reward for losing four in a row while being entirely harmless, the Raccoons got to face Wolves ace Ryan Bedrosian on Sunday. Bernie meanwhile walked Jenkins before giving up a homer to Castillo in the bottom 2nd, which seamlessly got the Raccoons into the trailing role again. He walked two more – Bunyon and Castro – before giving up a sac fly to Justin Kristoff in the fifth inning. The Raccoons meanwhile… did absolutely nothing. Bedrosian allowed one single (to Hunter) and two walks (Berto, Ito), and apart from that was just clicking off batters. Hunter hit another single in the sixth, with two outs, and was stranded by Fernandez grounding out to second base. The bottom of the inning saw a leadoff single by Rivera, and Bernie walked the bases full. Castillo hit into a 3-6-1 double play that scored Rivera to make it 4-0, and Bernie was shanked after walking Bunyon, his SIXTH walk in the game against one strikeout. Alex Ramirez struck out Castro to at least get out of the ******* inning. None of this made the miserable Raccoons hit any better. They had no runners in the seventh, and they had no runners in the eighth. They got the top of the order up for the ninth inning, facing Bedrosian on 99 pitches. Berto grounded out to second. Hunter flew out to center. And Manny went out on strikes. 4-0 Wolves. Hunter 2-4;

In other news

August 5 – OCT INF Al Martell (.238, 6 HR, 29 RBI) drives in five runs on three hits and two walks while the Thunder soak the Condors, 14-4.
August 6 – Pacifics 1B/OF Brandon Murphy (.269, 1 HR, 5 RBI) hits for the cycle in a 12-6 win over the Scorpions. Murphy, 28, drives in two runs in his 4-for-5 performance that includes his second career home run in just under 300 career at-bats. He is the fourth Pacific ever to hit for the cycle and the first since Mark Thompson in 2020.
August 6 – WAS SP Jerry Banda (10-8, 3.43 ERA) is likely out for the season with a torn meniscus.
August 7 – Dallas infielder Jose Rivas (.343, 1 HR, 44 RBI) slaps five singles for four runs batted in as the Stars batter the Gold Sox, 16-4.
August 8 – PIT CF/LF Kevin Burch (.291, 8 HR, 57 RBI) should miss a month with a sprained ankle.
August 10 – Boston left-hander Jesus Rodarte (5-10, 4.67 ERA, 7 SV) was going to miss a full year with a torn rotator cuff.

FL Player of the Week: SAC LF/SS Jesus Banuelas (.320, 3 HR, 46 RBI), hitting .516 (16-31) with 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: SFB OF Mike Hall (.312, 2 HR, 53 RBI), batting .469 (15-32) with 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I’m not saying that you should be hung from the highest tree for refusing to pick up arms for your colors, but goddamnit, where was the offense on the weekend??? Dismal rabble, refusing to fight!

That was of course after the pitching had gone missing in Elk City. Bernie did fine on Monday. By Sunday, Bernie was a walk machine.

Obviously, there’s nothing but a 45-game string to play out here. We will just briefly stop over in Portland next week, hosting the Rebs for the final interleague meeting of the year (sour look) before going back out east for series in Milwaukee and Boston.

Art Goetz has the best OPS on staff (minus Brent Clark, tee-hee), but last year we thought Bill Balaski might be that random hit that we rarely ever seem to get, and now this year he’s perfectly replacement level. And that’s the people the Raccoons are giving 300+ at-bats to again…

Fun Fact: Ryan Bedrosian pitched only his second career shutout on Sunday.

Of course against the Raccoons. Don’t they all? His other came with San Fran last summer, mere minutes after being traded out of Portland for the Waters/Wheatley combo that has yet to tear out any trees in the minors.

[pgjocki]

So, is it to soon to start thinking about next year? Maybe the owner will give you an extra $3 million or so to "go for it".

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by pgjocki

So, is it to soon to start thinking about next year? Maybe the owner will give you an extra $3 million or so to "go for it".

We've been thinking about next year for about 10 years. When exactly is that supposed to bring about improvement?

+++

(calmly leans against the railing in the front of the second deck along the first base side of the ballpark with Dr. Padilla, nibbling peanuts, watching Nick Valdes chase the pigeons on the field below)

I know, Dr. Padilla, that man needs help. But for the time being, can we just enjoy the free entertainment? – I am pretty sure the pigeons would agree with that assessment. – But before the game starts tonight, how about drugging him senseless so he doesn’t go on our stripes?

Oh, Dr. Padilla … you and your oath!

(Art Goetz’ black snout and whiskers pop up over the bowl with peanuts)

Raccoons (58-59) vs. Rebels (54-65) – August 12-14, 2041

The Rebs were last in the FL East, which was a position the Raccoons might yet find themselves in if they kept playing like THIS. They were 10th in runs scored, eighth in runs allowed, and somehow had a better run differential than the routinely outscored Raccoons, -35 compared to -58. We had last played them in ’39, winning two of three, and had taken the last two series from them.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (10-5, 3.88 ERA) vs. Casey Pinter (9-6, 3.12 ERA)
Terry Garrigan (1-2, 7.36 ERA) vs. Danny Tankersley (5-7, 4.31 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (8-9, 5.02 ERA) vs. Julian Ponce (10-9, 3.15 ERA)

Not one, but TWO left-handed pitchers in this set! It would be those on the book ends, sandwiching the right-hander Tankersley.

Yes, Art, I said “sandwich”. – Art, no. – Art, get out of the snack bowl. – Don’t you have to be in uniform??

Game 1
RIC: C Alicea – LF P. Gonzalez – 1B Liberos – RF Ritchey – 3B Frazier – 2B K. Elder – CF Imler – SS Cabral – P Pinter
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 1B Goetz – RF Ito – LF Reyna – 3B Trawick – P Brown

Brown struck out five the first time through the order while the Raccoons scored one run when Maldonado doubled home Tony Hunter, who had been hit with a pitch, in the first inning, and Rikuto Ito hit a solo homer in the second inning, going up 2-0. Ramon Alicea answered with a leadoff jack in the fourth inning, getting the Rebs back to within a run, although Cosmo would single home Trawick in the next frame to restore the 2-run gap. Jeff Kilmer added a solo jack in the sixth, mashing a ball over the fence in dead center, but Josh Brown then ran out of steam in the seventh. Josh Frazier and Kenny Elder hit singles and reached scoring position after a Chris Imler groundout for the second out, prompting Nick Valdes to announce that bad things would happen if the Raccoons blew the lead here. Which was probably true – first, they’d blow the lead. And second, maybe Valdes would explode and splatter goo into the snack bowl. No such thing happened – Chuck Jones struck out Ramon Cabral to end the inning.

In the eighth, though, Tim Zimmerman logged only one out before putting the 1-2-3 batters on base and being replaced by Alex Ramirez. Joe Ritchey struck out and Josh Frazier flew out to Maldonado to strand a full set. Valdes continued to grumble anyway. The Coons missed the knockout blow in the eighth inning when Reyna and Trawick went to the corners and Manny Fernandez pinch-hit for Ramirez with two outs, but struck out in a full count. Instead, the 4-1 lead went to lightly-engaged Wyatt Hamill, who sawed off the Rebels 1-2-3 in the ninth to end the Critters’ 5-game spill. 4-1 Raccoons. Trevino 2-4, 2B, RBI; Maldonado 2-4, 2B, RBI; Trawick 1-1, 3 BB; Brown 6.2 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 9 K, W (11-5);

Will the Raccoons now rally and win their way to a division title? Nick? Are you serious??

(Valdes draws a snoot while the GM, Maud, Slappy, Cristiano, and Dr. Padilla all roll around laughing)

Game 2
RIC: CF P. Moore – SS Cabral – RF Ritchey – 1B Liberos – LF P. Gonzalez – 3B Frazier – C K. Morris – 2B DeGroote – P Tankersley
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 2B Trevino – 1B Goetz – RF Balaski – P Garrigan

The Raccoons took a lead in the first, Maldonado driving in both Hunter and Fernandez with a liner to right for a 2-0 edge, but there was Terry Garrigan on the mound, so we were probably doomed anyway. Nick DeGroote hit an RBI double in the second, of course, but the run was actually unearned after an error Art Goetz that placed Josh Frazier on base to begin with. The Rebs tied the game in the third; Paul Moore ripped a leadoff triple, although it took until a Manny Liberos grounder to score him. In between, Cabral was out on a grounder to first and Joe Ritchey walked. Pablo Gonzalez ended the inning with a fly to center. – What is it, Nick? – No, we don’t have a better pitcher available. – No, I don’t think we can borrow Rich Willett or somebody for the occasion whenever you come around.

After a leadoff walk to Manny Fernandez in the bottom 3rd, Maldonado hit a gapper for an RBI double, giving the Critters the lead again, 3-2. In a perfect world, the Raccoons would have scored a runner on second with no outs, but instead grounded out, struck out, and … struck out. Berto singled home Balaski in the fourth, though, 4-2. In return, the Rebels erased Terry Garrigan wholly and fully in the fifth inning. Leadoff walk by Moore, Ritchey single, Liberos double, Gonzalez homer, and 4-2 had become 6-4 in favor of the other team. Garrigan was excused from further contribution to our misery, and ended up on waivers the same day. Jon Craig cocked up a run the following inning on two hits, and Clark was taken deep by Frazier in the seventh for another run. The Raccoons stood around watching with interest, or at least with their eyes open, but didn’t even reach second base again until the eighth inning against reliever Jesse Beggs, who then gave up a leadoff jack to Manny in the bottom 9th, which was also a case of too little, too late. 8-5 Rebels. Ramos 3-5, RBI; Fernandez 3-4, BB, HR, RBI; Maldonado 3-5, 2B, 3 RBI;

Garrigan was axed as indicated. Having gone 1-1 with a 6.57 ERA for Denver, he had upped his game to go 0-2 with a 9.95 ERA for the Raccoons. With off days beckoning on Thursday and Monday, the Raccoons didn’t need a fifth starter until the following weekend, so did not call up one. Instead, Josh Rella was added to the bullpen.

Yes, Nick, you may hustle over to your yacht real quick and harpoon Garrigan as he makes his way to the train station.

Game 3
RIC: CF P. Moore – C Alicea – RF Ritchey – 1B Liberos – LF P. Gonzalez – 3B Frazier – SS Cabral – 2B K. Elder – P Ponce
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – RF Ito – 1B Goetz – 3B Trawick – P Moreno

Two singles and a wild pitch gave the Rebels a run in the first inning against routinely crummy Nelson Moreno. The Coons countered with singles by Hunter (who was forced out by Cosmo) and Maldo, a Kilmer walk, and then a bases-loaded RBI single up the middle poked by Ito to tie the game before Goetz poked out to Liberos on a 2-1 pitch to end the inning. After Moreno gave up the 17th homer of the year to Joe Ritchey, a single to Liberos, another wild pitch, and a monstrous 16th homer to Pablo Gonzalez, Nick Valdes sniped that if this was what I was putting his money into, maybe I shouldn’t be getting so much money!! Unable to argue with this reasoning, I stuck my snout deeper into a bucket of Capt’n Coma and razor blades.

Maldonado hit a jack to left in the bottom of the inning, collecting Manny to cut the gap to 4-3, and while the problem of the struggling, ****-out-of-luck sophomore that couldn’t pitch to a basket of strawberries without getting burned by it remained on the mound, the Raccoons actually tied up the game in the fifth. That run, too, was driven in by Maldonado with a 2-out single that cashed Hunter. Kilmer walked after that, but the inning ended on an Ito grounder. Moreno was left without a decision, being yanked for Chuck Jones (who fanned Cabral) with two outs and Gonzalez on second base in the top 6th. Cabral then threw away Goetz’ grounder for two bases at the start of the bottom 6th, and Jake Trawick snuck a single to right to put Critters on the corners. Berto hit for Jones, but made a poor out to Liberos, however, Hunter hit a sac fly to take the lead, and Cosmo tacked one on with a single to left to score Trawick.

The Rebs whacked three singles for a run off David Lindstrom in the seventh inning, narrowing the score to 6-5, with Josh Rella having to dig him out of the jam by getting Ritchey to fly out to Ito. While the eighth was uneventful, Wyatt Hamill allowed a leadoff single to Jonathan Fleming in the ninth inning. The runner moved up on Kenny Elder’s groundout. Kevin Morris struck out. Paul Moore, though, flew to center, over Maldonado’s head, and tied the game at six. Thanks, Nick, for pointing out that we need to catch that ball. – Yes, Nick, then we would have been winners.

Nothing happened in the ninth or tenth innings as far as the Raccoons’ bats against righty Lazaro Ochoa were concerned. Hamill in the 10th and Craig in the 11th held the Rebs at bay, the latter entering in a double switch that replaced Goetz with Reyna at first base. Reyna hit a 1-out single off Ochoa in the bottom 11th, stole second, reached third on a wild pitch, then watched as the Rebs half-heartedly walked Hunter to set up a double play. The point was moot, though: Cosmo zipped a single to center, ending the game after all. 7-6 Critters. Trevino 2-6, 2 RBI; Fernandez 2-5; Maldonado 3-5, HR, 3 RBI; Morales (PH) 1-1; Reyna 1-1;

Raccoons (60-60) @ Loggers (71-50) – August 16-18, 2041

The Raccoons had not had much fun against the Loggers in recent memory – and were down 8-4 in this year’s season series – and there was little reason to expect this one to go any different way. The Loggers led the division (better than them the damn Elks…), and needed the wins. They were third in runs scored, fourth in runs allowed, but their rotation was rather wonky. They had only two starting pitchers doing better than a 4.24 ERA.

Projected matchups:
Drew Johnson (6-10, 4.11 ERA) vs. Sal Chavez (10-10, 4.24 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (8-9, 3.99 ERA) vs. Carlos Padilla (6-9, 5.26 ERA)
Josh Brown (11-5, 3.76 ERA) vs. Adam Giovenco (7-4, 4.62 ERA)

We’d not see any rotation personnel with an ERA better than 4.24 (also: no lefty), and we’d probably still get swept, somehow.

But we didn’t take a loss on Friday! The reason was steady rain that prevented the game from even starting. Elsewhere, games *did* get started, but there were no fewer than THREE rain-shortened games on this Friday. [more below] For the Coons’ part, they had a double header scheduled for Saturday, but we already had eight relievers on staff, so there was no immediate problem.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 2B Trevino – 1B Goetz – RF Balaski – P Johnson
MIL: CF Cannizzard – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – 3B Paul – C F. Gomez – LF Hertenstein – RF J. Nelson – 2B V. Acosta – P S. Chavez

Drew Johnson initially was the luckiest bastard on the planet while he pitched; having no problem shuffling runners on base, he got inning-ending double plays turned in the first, and the second (both 6-4-3) and the third innings (4-3 on a liner), when the Loggers had drawn a total of two hits and three walks to crowd him. Because baseball is also weird and makes no sense, the Loggers then went down in order in each of the three middle innings, while the Raccoons were also being 2-hit by Sal Chavez, being shabby throughout. They also drew three walks, just like the Loggers did against Drew Johnson. Jared Paul’s sudden homer tore apart the pleasant tranquility of a still-soggy Saturday appetizer, giving the Loggers a 1-0 lead with one out in the seventh. Felipe Gomez doubled after that, but was stranded. Johnson hung around long enough to give up another single to Victor Acosta leading off the bottom 8th, then got to watch Brent Clark fool around long enough to have that run score, too. The Raccoons entered the ninth being 3-hit, but now faced Kurt Crater. Tony Morales walked for the umpteenth time in the game, but that was already with one out. Cosmo was no help, but Goetz hit a single to right-center, and Morales chugged it all the way to third base with the lead run. Balaski hit a fly to deep center, but Tyler Prestwood was there to end the game. 2-0 Loggers. Hunter 2-3, 2B; Morales 0-1, 3 BB; Johnson 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 3 K, L (6-11);

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – CF Reyna – RF Ito – 1B Goetz – SS Nickas – P B. Chavez
MIL: CF Cannizzard – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – 3B Paul – RF Duncan – LF Hertenstein – C H. Alvarez – 2B V. Acosta – P C. Padilla

Carlos Padilla lasted one batter before leaving with an injury, yielding to left-hander Daniel Miller (1-0, 2.16 ERA), which didn’t affect the Raccoons so much given that our lineup was alternating left-handers with right-handers and switch-hitters throughout, except for the pitcher’s spot. Padilla and Miller combined to retire the first eight Coons up in the box until Bernie Chavez knocked a double to right and scored on Berto’s subsequent single to put Portland up 1-0. Ramos was stranded, as were Reyna and Ito when Art Goetz grounded out in the fourth inning. Instead, dastardly Ted Del Vecchio ripped a leadoff triple off Bernie Chavez in the bottom 4th, and Chavez was shaken enough to surrender a score-flipping homer to Aaron Brayboy right afterwards…

The lead was flipped back in the top 5th, with Nickas and Berto reaching base. Cosmo grounded out, moving them into scoring position, and both scored on Manny’s single shoved through between Victor Acosta and the annoying Brayboy. Kilmer whiffed, which for my taste still beat his next plate appearance when he came up to bat with Berto and Manny on the bases and one out in the seventh and got struck in the paw by a Mario Bojorques fastball. In great physical discomfort, Kilmer had to come out of the game, with Tony Morales strapping the old gear back on after having caught the day’s first eight defensive innings. Running for Kilmer though was Jake Trawick. That turned out to be the waste of a player when Miguel Reyna belted a homer to right – GRAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!

Bernie Chavez made it through seven without giving up a run, mostly because Reyna threw out Daniel Hertenstein at home plate on a Hector Alvarez double in the bottom 7th, preserving the 7-2 lead. The Coons stretched that by one run in the eighth on a collection of happy accidents, like Nickas getting hit, Maldonado legging out an infield single, and Cosmo beating the return throw in bang-bang fashion to break up a double play and getting Nickas across from third base after all. That was the final run of the game; David Lindstrom and Josh Rella would pitch scoreless innings to finish off the Loggers. 8-2 Raccoons. Ramos 1-2, 2 BB; Fernandez 2-4, BB, 2 RBI; Reyna 2-5, HR, 4 RBI; Ito 2-4; Maldonado (PH) 1-1; Chavez 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, W (9-9) and 1-2, 2B;

Sooo, a Chavez has won both of the first two games of the set.

Do we have another Chavez?

That was a no, and we also had a slight catcher’s problem on Sunday, with Jeff Kilmer ruled day-to-day with a bruised, but not broken, paw. The Raccoons reacted by exchanging Josh Rella for catcher Chris Lancaster, even if he wouldn’t play after all.

Game 3
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Reyna – RF Ito – 3B Trawick – P Brown
MIL: CF Cannizzard – SS Del Vecchio – 3B Paul – 1B Brayboy – LF Hertenstein – C F. Gomez – RF Duncan – 2B V. Acosta – P Giovenco

Brown was torn up in the first inning; Del Vecchio, the ********, walked, and Aaron Brayboy, the *********, hit an RBI single with two outs. A throw to home plate by Maldonado was late, but allowed Brayboy to second, and they were on the corners after a Hertenstein single. Felipe Gomez then ripped a 2-run double through Trawick to make it 3-0 before Nick Duncan popped out. Once more, the Raccoons had nothing cooking against a mediocre pitcher, and while the Loggers let go of Brown after that first inning, the Raccoons didn’t get more than three scattered hits off Giovenco through six. Manny Fernandez hit a leadoff double in the seventh, which then saw him score on Maldo’s single, and everybody looked surprised because it was so unexpected. Then Maldonado was caught stealing, which was a much more familiar sight… The Raccoons responded with Brown putting two scrubs on base and Ramirez conceding the runs on another single by colossal ******** Ted Del Vecchio.

Top 8th, Berto hit for Trawick, but made an out, before Goetz and Hunter reached against Cesar Perez. Lefty Marvin Verduzco replaced Perez, but gave up a socked RBI double to Cosmo Trevino, putting the tying run in the box with one out. Manny popped out, but Maldonado shot a ball up the rightfield line for a 2-run single with two outs, 5-4. Tony Morales grounded out to end the inning. Jon Craig retired the 6-7-8 batters in the bottom 8th, bringing up Crater with no cushion and the Coons’ own 6-7-8 batters (but with Berto having replaced Trawick). Reyna grounded out before Balaski hit for Ito and singled, and so did Berto. Then Jon Craig needed pinch-hitting for. There was Nickas on the bench, and Lancaster, and Kilmer. Kilmer was begging to hit despite the bruised paw. Kilmer got to hit. He hit a grounder to short that the Loggers almost fumbled and got only one out on, with runners on the corners then for Hunter with two outs. He had the count run full, then hit a fly to left. Hertenstein caught it. 5-4 Loggers. Fernandez 2-4, 2B; Maldonado 2-4, 3 RBI; Balaski (PH) 1-1; Goetz (PH) 1-1;

In other news

August 14 – The Miners beat the Indians, 7-5, mostly on the contributions of catcher Giampaolo Petroni (.233, 15 HR, 56 RBI), who whacks five hits, a triple shy of the cycle, and drives in four runs in the game.
August 14 – NAS C Jorge Santa Cruz (.267, 16 HR, 56 RBI) breaks a 19-inning deadlock with the Canadiens with a homer in the top of the inning, giving the Blue Sox a 2-1 lead. Triumph turns to tragedy though with NAS RF/LF/3B Josh Stevenson (.231, 0 HR, 0 RBI), who drops Johnny Lopez’ 2-out fly ball for an error, allowing VAN OF Jerry Outram (.354, 18 HR, 66 RBI) to score with the tying run. Two further singles off NAS MR Juan Espudo (2-2, 2.44 ERA, 1 SV) give the Canadiens a 3-2 walkoff win.
August 14 – NYC OF/3B Joe Graf (.299, 5 HR, 32 RBI) goes yard in the sixth inning for the only offense in the Crusaders’ 1-0 win over the Cyclones.
August 14 – The Thunder’s SP Juan Ramos (5-8, 3.45 ERA) is out for the year with a partial tear in his labrum.
August 15 – All runs in the Pacifics’ 3-1 win over the Knights score in the 10th inning.
August 16 – On a stormy day in the central U.S., the Raccoons-Loggers game is rained out, while the Federal League sees *three* rain-shortened games. The Stars beat the Wolves, 4-1, and the Blue Sox beat the Miners, 8-1, both in seven innings each, while the Pacifics notch a 2-1, 6-inning win over the Gold Sox.
August 18 – With an RBI single in an 8-5 loss over the Titans, New York’s OF/3B Joe Graf (.307, 5 HR, 34 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak.

FL Player of the Week: BOS RF/LF Sean Calais (.283, 3 HR, 39 RBI), hitting .565 (13-23) with 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: POR UT Jesus Maldonado (.322, 8 HR, 48 RBI), batting .478 (11-23) with 1 HR, 10 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Maldo! Whee!

Apart from that… Meh week. 3-3. Looked clueless. Soggy hitting. Putrid pitching. We did score more than we gave up, but that was mostly on the Loggers losing their starter in the second half of a double-header as soon as the poor guy came out of the bullpen.

Terry Garrigan went unclaimed while on waivers, and got his release on the weekend. The trades we do. We’ll need a fifth starter by the weekend. We could bring up Mathers again, or use Montano from his rehab assignment.

We will NOT bring up Jason Wheatley. Highly esteemed as a prospect (#26), he has his struggles at AAA, walking more than he strikes out since being promoted there in June. I have no concern that this is a permanent problem, and he turned 21 just this month. He also does not have to be protected on the 40-man roster this fall, so there is no reason to burn him in two ill-advised spot starts for an ERA of yucky dimensions.

We can just use Montano, who is already burned all over.

No off day left after Monday’s. We’ll play five straight sets, 17 games in 16 days, before the next day off; remember we have two make-up double-headers in September, too. The first one comes right on the 2nd of September. We will swing through Boston on the way home. Once back in Portland we’ll see the Falcons, Knights, and Crusaders before finishing the string in Indy.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons have lost the season series to the Loggers for the third year running.

This so far happened only once before, when they actually lost it four years in a row, and yes, we’re back to the decade of darkness. 1997 to 2000 the Raccoons always lost 10+, and they never won the season series throughout the decade, with a few 9-9s sprinkled in there.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (61-62) @ Titans (54-69) – August 20-22, 2041

The Titans were in fifth place and continued to slide. They hadn’t finished in last place since 2019, but here were the Raccoons to the rescue, Boston having been a terrible place for them to be at for many years. Obviously, we trailed in the season series, 8-4.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (8-9, 5.07 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (9-11, 4.36 ERA)
Drew Johnson (6-11, 4.04 ERA) vs. Eunice Suyumov (4-5, 5.19 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (9-9, 3.93 ERA) vs. Aaron Howell (5-10, 4.02 ERA)

Left, left, right for a change (but everybody had been off on Monday, so there was that). With Willie Vega and Mark Vermillion, the Titans also had two cornerstones of the league’s worst offense on the DL. The Critters returned Chris Lancaster to AAA to begin the series, bringing back left-hander Zack Kelly, who had been in two games with the team earlier this year.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 2B Trevino – 1B Goetz – RF Ito – P Moreno
BOS: CF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – LF J. Wallace – RF M. Avila – 2B M. Hurtado – SS Gil – C Graham – 3B Nieblas – P M. Gonzalez

The Raccoons remained garbage as a whole to begin the new week, finding no offense against Mario Gonzalez, and Nelson Moreno remained a prime case for a sophomore swoon. After a decent first inning, he ran four full counts in the bottom 2nd, walked two, and also walked Gonzalez (!) to begin the bottom of the third. In between, with Rikuto Ito on first base, he bunted into a double play. The rest of the team then chimed in with doing damage quite actively after the Titans failed to convert any of these chances into a run. The bottom 4th began with a Mario Hurtado pop, but then Antonio Gil and Andy Graham reached on consecutive errors by Hunter and Fernandez. Orlando Nieblas singled to center to get Nieblas home, with Maldonado firing to third base to hammer out Graham. Gonzalez struck out to end the inning, but Boston was now up 1-0. The Raccoons had only one base hit in five innings. Tony Hunter hit a single in the sixth, then was caught stealing. Bottom of the inning, the Titans opened with three straight singles off Moreno, loading the bases before Graham and Nieblas both popped out. The Raccoons went to Chuck Jones when Chris Joseph pinch-hit for the dominant Gonzalez, which netted them a pair of 2-run knocks and a 5-0 deficit thanks to Jones getting whacked around by Joseph and Danny Liceaga. All the Raccoons got from having the bags full and nobody out in the eighth was a Tony Hunter sac fly. 5-1 Titans. Maldonado 2-3, BB; Trawick (PH) 1-1; Balaski (PH) 1-1;

Game 2
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – RF Ito – 3B Trawick – 1B Reyna – P Johnson
BOS: CF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – LF J. Wallace – RF M. Avila – 2B M. Hurtado – SS Gil – C Kuehn – 3B Nieblas – P Suyumov

Singles by Alex Zacarias and Jimmy Wallace, a double by Mario Hurtado, and a 1-0 deficit after the first inning, which all but sealed another series lost in Boston. While Johnson kept shuffling runners on base and somehow didn’t get bombed into oblivion in the early innings, the Raccoons actually tied the score in the fourth, an inning opened with singles from Manny and Maldo, and then – for a change – at least two productive outs from whatever ******* happened to play behind them. Maldonado was of course left to rot at third base… The Raccoons survived Johnson drilling leadoff man Nieblas in the fourth inning as well as a 2-base throwing error by Trawick in the fifth, with Johnson retiring from the game after five long, long innings with a no-decision that was neither earned nor deserved.

In that result he matched Suyumov, but the latter actually went into the eighth and was only yanked after Reyna and Hunter reached the corners. Manny Fernandez popped out against Justin Johns to end the inning and maintain the 1-1 deadlock. The Titans also left Hurtado at third base against Craig and Clark in the bottom of the inning. Clark walked Zacarias with two outs in the ninth, but then struck out Jimmy Wallace to send the game to extra innings. In the 10th, Reyna got on and was caught stealing, while Alex Ramirez offered a leadoff walk to Moises Avila, who stole second, but was still stranded at third base on a grounder, a K, and a pop. Mike Toney was caught stealing in the 11th, keeping the Titans off the board there, after the Raccoons had gotten singles from Art Goetz and Manny Fernandez in the top of the inning, and then had left both of them in scoring position with a pop and a K from Maldo and Kilmer, respectively.

The tie was FINALLY broken in the 12th inning. Andy Bressner, washed-up former starter, walked Trawick with one out, then gave up a gapper to Reyna that became an RBI triple. Berto, batting ninth for a while at that point, chipped in a sac fly. Wyatt Hamill then erased the Titans 1-2-3 for a win. 3-1 Coons. Goetz (PH) 1-1; Fernandez 2-5; Reyna 4-5, 3B, RBI; Zimmerman 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Reyna – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – P Chavez
BOS: CF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – LF J. Wallace – RF M. Avila – 2B M. Hurtado – C Kuehn – SS J. Rodriguez – 3B Nieblas – P Howell

Berto opened the game by reaching base and being caught stealing, so that was a nice start. In a scoreless game the Raccoons loaded the bases in the third inning with Balaski, Bernie (reaching on a misfielded bunt), and Hunter and one out. Manny Fernandez then rolled into a 6-4-3 on the first pitch he saw. Neat. Cosmo reached on a leadoff single in the fifth, actually did steal a base, and then was left stranded with a grounder and two strikeouts. Portland baseball looked like the annual meeting of the National Association of Non-Aggressionists. At least while they were batting.

Bernie held up for a while despite sprinkling a bevvy of singles. The Titans liked to strand a guy at third base, and in one occasion also had him (Hurtado) thrown out at third base by Bill Balaski. Bernie diddled along with a runner every inning for seven frames of scoreless ball in a scoreless game that was sad, took place on a sad day, in a sad park, and was overall just sadly sad. Bernie was lifted for a pinch-hitter against Bressner to begin the eighth inning. Goetz whacked a single in his spot. Then Berto whacked into a double play. Hunter struck out. Bottom 8th, Jon Craig put Wallace (double) and Avila (single) on the corners with one out. Avila took off and was thrown out by Morales, followed by a walk to Hurtado and Paul Kuehn grounding out near second base to keep the Titans just as dry as the Critters. Nobody reached in the ninth, sending the game to extras scorelessly. There, Chuck Jones took the loss when he walked Zacarias in the bottom 10th, then gave up a walkoff double to Moises Avila with two outs. 1-0 Titans. Goetz (PH) 1-1; Chavez 7.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 4 K;

(hangs head, whiskers pointing straight down)

Raccoons (62-64) vs. Falcons (68-58) – August 23-25, 2041

If you can’t beat a terrible team, how about playing a good team? Although the Falcons were only tenth in runs scored in the CL, they were allowing the fewest runs of all participating teams, so the Raccoons’ quadriplegic offense would probably be shut out thrice and that was gonna be it. Not saying they can’t make another extra-inning affair out of that, though… We were trailing in the season series (quelle surprise), 4-2.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (11-6, 3.90 ERA) vs. Ernie Quintero (10-11, 3.27 ERA)
Zack Kelly (1-0, 2.25 ERA) vs. Nick Wright (5-1, 3.20 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (8-10, 5.06 ERA) vs. Jose de Lucio (10-14, 3.88 ERA)

Three right-handers were likely here, although due to a rainout and double-header earlier in the week the Falcons might also swing Marcos Nabo (9-10, 3.32 ERA) into the Sunday start. All of them were right-handers, though.

We’d waste a spot start on the swingman rookie, who had not been very successful as a starter in the minors. Montano was an option in AAA, but … well, we’ve seen Angelo Montano fail a lot. We haven’t seen Zack Kelly fail that much yet.

Game 1
CHA: 1B Sarro – 3B Lorensen – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – LF Esperanza – 2B B. Nelson – RF Quesada – CF J. Reyna – P E. Quintero
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Goetz – 2B Trevino – RF M. Reyna – P Brown

While the Raccoons continued their general futility at the plate (two hits in four innings), the Falcons took a 1-0 lead on Brown in the second inning when Jonathan Reyna singled home Ruben Esperanza with the third of three base knocks in the inning. Overall Brown scattered six hits through five innings, then waited for help to arrive. He bunted Miguel Reyna to second base after the latter’s leadoff single in the bottom 5th, then was taken off the hook for the time being when Berto hit a gapper in right-center for an RBI double, the Raccoons’ first run in 15 innings. Hunter struck out, but Manny landed a 1-2 single in shallow left to get Berto around to score for a 2-1 lead. Maldonado grounded out. Tony Morales then hit a leadoff double in the sixth and never moved off second base, because… (sigh) … (closes snout around neck of bottle of Capt’n Coma)

Brown lasted seven innings of 1-run ball and left the game a potential winner when Balaski batted for him and flew out to Antonio Quesada in deep center. Alex Ramirez retired the Falcons in order in the eighth, with Quintero holding on to the baseball and completing eight innings in a so-far losing effort. The Raccoons sent Wyatt Hamill into the ninth inning, with PH Chris Kokoszka opening proceedings in the #6 spot. He singled, then was run for by Angelo Rios right away. Not much of a hitter, Rios was fast though, but reached second base anyway on Quesada’s single. Reyna flew out to Maldo, but Hamill fell 3-1 to PH Chris Russell. The next pitch was put in play to third base. Trawick, to Trevino, to Goetz – ballgame…! 2-1 Blighters. Reyna 2-3, 2B; Brown 7.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, W (12-6);

No, Maud, I can’t feel happy. – Because they played like clowns with sad makeup. – No, there is nothing you can do to make me lighten u- hh!!! You baked muffins!! Oh Maud, you’re the best!! (throws himself onto muffins)

Game 2
CHA: RF C. Robinson – 3B Lorensen – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – 2B B. Nelson – 1B Sarro – LF Quesada – CF J. Reyna – P N. Wright
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 1B Goetz – RF M. Reyna – 2B Nickas – P Kelly

Both teams sent spot starters for the middle game, with Charlotte’s Nick Wright having been a major league reliever for eight seasons without making a start before making 15 last season and six this year. He had 606 career appearances. The Falcons loaded the bases against Kelly in the second inning with one out, but then brought up their pitcher, who struck out, and Chris Robinson flew out to left. Instead, Jeff Kilmer hit a home run to left for a 1-0 Coons lead in the bottom 2nd. It didn’t last – Ryan Lorensen hit a leadoff jack almost into the same spot in the third inning.

That, however, was ALL the Falcons got off Kelly in six innings of 4-hit ball. Now, never mind that the Coons probably couldn’t score another run in his support even when fiercely invited, like in the bottom 6th when Wright walked Berto and Kilmer and whacked Manny in between. That loaded the bags for Art Goetz with two outs. Art Goetz struck out. Zimmerman held out in the seventh, Alex Ramirez struck out the 3-4-5 in the eighth, but the Raccoons remained entirely anemic. Wyatt Hamill pitched the ninth anyway, gave up a 2-out single to Jonathan Reyna, then a homer to PH Ruben Esperanza. The Coons in the bottom 9th had the tying run at the plate right away when Ray Andrews hit Maldonado with an 0-2 pitch. Kilmer grounded out, Maldo reached third base on a wild pitch, and Goetz hit a sac fly, which was not exactly gainful in terms of not ******* losing again. Miguel Reyna grounded out to Luis Aparicio, however, and the Raccoons had ******* lost again. 3-2 Falcons. Kilmer 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; Kelly 6.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 3 K;

(deep sigh!)

Game 3
IND: RF C. Robinson – CF J. Reyna – SS Aparicio – C Kokoszka – 3B Lorensen – LF Esperanza – 1B Sarro – 2B B. Nelson – P Nabo
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Goetz – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – P Moreno

The Raccoons got a triple from Tony Hunter in the first inning, but no run(s), given that Berto didn’t reach and Manny popped out and Maldo flew out to Esperanza. Goetz and Balaski hit singles in the bottom 2nd, which ended with Nelson Moreno flying out to right. While Moreno faced the minimum the first time through, Tony Hunter ripped ANOTHER triple in the third inning. The first one went left, the other one went right, and this time the Coons actually got him ******* across home plate … with a Manny Fernandez sac fly to left. It all came apart in the fourth, with leadoff singles by Robinson and Reyna, who were in scoring position with two outs when Ryan Lorensen singled to center. Both runners scored and Maldonado’s arm came off on a futile throw home, requiring him being replaced by Miguel Reyna. Esperanza added a run on an RBI single, extending the score to 3-1, before Dan Sarro grounded out. The Coons got 2-out singles from Cosmo and Balaski in the bottom 4th, but that inning also died with Moreno making the final out.

The Coons began the fifth inning with their third ******* triple of the game when Berto buried one in the gap in right-center. Tony Hunter smacked an RBI single to narrow the gap to 3-2, and Reyna added a 1-out single and Hunter stole his 30th base. Uselessly, it turned out, because Morales struck out and Art Goetz walked, which all would have put Hunter at third base with two outs anyway. Cosmo batted with nowhere to put them, ran a full count, then slashed a ball through the right side and a bit up the line. With two outs, the Coons moved on noise and scored two runs, flipping the score to 4-3, which was already more runs in this game than in any other game they played this miserable ****house week. Oh, and Balaski whiffed comically to strand runners on the corners.

The outfield catastrophy on legs and our dismembered sophomore of big dreams and little returns then also cocked up the sixth inning like true All Stars. Tony Aparicio hit a leadoff single, moved to second base on the first out, and aimed for third base when Lorensen flew out to Balaski, who was irked by something moving on the bases and simply unleashed the most angry wild throw he had in his arsenal, well past Ramos, not even knocking the runner unconscious by accident, and Aparicio scampered home on the error to tie the score at four.

The Raccoons had Reyna on first base when Goetz tried to end the inning with a high bouncer to Ryan Lorensen that could certainly be turned into a 5-4-3 to conclude the bottom 7th. Lorensen threw the ball past T.J. Bennett at second base for an error, and the Raccoons had two on with one out. Cosmo seized the opportunity and sapped an RBI single to right, 5-4, and Balaski hit another RBI single up the middle. Kilmer and Ramos then made outs. Brent Clark held the Falcons away in the eighth, but for the ninth the Raccoons had to go to pointless deadline transaction #2 (and the only one still employed), Jon Craig, because both Hamill and Ramirez had been through the wringer in the first two games of the set. One down, Lorensen walked (and was run for with Chris Russell), Esperanza singled, and the tying runs reached scoring position after Bennett’s groundout. Mitch Cook was up – but hold on. The Falcons had expended all their bench already? And they had a reliever in the #9 hole? There you go, Mitch, to first base. Poor, sad-looking Bryan Carmichael had to step into the box, his first time batting as a professional. One strike. Two strikes. He’s gonna hit a slam, Slappy, isn’t he? Nope, three strikes. 6-4 Coons. Hunter 3-5, 2 3B, RBI; Reyna 3-3; Trevino 3-4, 3 RBI; Balaski 3-4, RBI;

In other news

August 20 – Condors closer Steve Bailey (4-3, 1.97 ERA, 27 SV) notches his 300th career save in shutting down the Knights for a 4-2 Tijuana win. The 34-year-old right-hander was the Reliever of the Year in 2037 and 2038 and has a 3.16 career ERA to go with his 57-60 record.
August 20 – NAS SP Chris Lulay (7-7, 4.59 ERA) 3-hits the Capitals in a 3-0 Blue Sox win. Lulay, who entered 89 K in 122 innings this year, notably struck out nobody in the complete-game effort.
August 20 – MIL C Felipe Gomez (.272, 15 HR, 56 RBI) will miss three weeks with elbow inflammation after an incident that occurred while he horsed around with teammates.
August 20 – Crusaders outfielder Jose Platero (.262, 10 HR, 55 RBI) drives in six runs on three base hits (including a grand slam) in a 15-4 whacking of the Indians.
August 21 – NYC C Fernando Alba (.318, 11 HR, 55 RBI) is out for the year with a broken kneecap.
August 21 – Unrelated, New York’s OF/3B Joe Graf (.306, 5 HR, 29 RBI) goes hitless in a 7-5 win over the Indians to end his hitting streak at 20 games.
August 21 – Torn ankle ligaments put SFW 2B/SS Mario Colon (.279, 18 HR, 67 RBI) on the DL for the rest of the season.
August 22 – New York 3B/1B Adam Lovett (.350, 3 HR, 11 RBI) hits a come-from-behind walkoff grand slam to beat the Indians, 8-6. Indians left-hander Joe Robinson (3-5, 3.72 ERA, 11 SV) gives up the game-ender.
August 24 – The injury-addled season of VAN 2B Dan Schneller (.344, 12 HR, 50 RBI) continues. The 33-year-old will now miss three weeks with a strained oblique.
August 24 – The only run in the Canadiens-Bayhawks game is a walkoff homer by San Fran’s Mike Hall (.322, 3 HR, 66 RBI) off VAN CL Josh Boles (4-7, 3.10 ERA, 24 SV), giving the Bayhawks a 1-0 win.
August 25 – In the biggest double whammy in a while, the Canadiens lose VAN OF Jerry Outram (.353, 19 HR, 70 RBI) for the season. The 27-year-old two-time Player of the Year was last seen being stretchered off the field, screaming in agony with a ruptured achilles tendon.
August 25 – SFB SP Jeremy Truett (9-9, 3.81 ERA) 3-hits the Canadiens in an 8-0 shutout.

FL Player of the Week: SAC OF/2B Alfonso Cedillo (.294, 17 HR, 71 RBI), batting .500 (12-24) with 5 RBI
CL Player of the Week: ATL INF/RF Joe Crim (.280, 8 HR, 55 RBI), swatting .533 (16-30) with 2 HR, 11 RBI

Complaints and stuff

In just over 1,200 innings in the outfield, Bill Balaski has 18 ******* errors now. I’d list him as expendable for the coming winter after that particularly rough Sunday ride…

Not sure when Dan Schneller will return of course, but so far the damn Elks’ $7.8M investment in those two has given them a combined 185 appearances this year for roughly a .350 clip, 31 homers, and 120 RBI. Right now they’re getting none of it, and that might end up being the main reason that either the Loggers or Crusaders win the division. The Elks have hardly had any other major injuries, but those two have been DL mainstays all year.

Have we *actually* played against Dan Schneller this year, Cristiano? – Once? – Cristiano says we saw him in the first 4-game set, where he went 4-for-14 with a homer, and not since.

I mean, Hall of Famers, both of them – unless Outram has his hoof amputated. But I am never mad at those for squishing us (except for Ray ******* Gilbert). I wasn’t mad at the Martin Brothers. Or the Jose Paraz / Ron Alston / David Lopez era Indians. If you get beat by great players, you get beat by great players.

It’s when we get beat by Ted Del Vecchio and Adam Lovett and Jeremy Houghtaling that I start thinking about tying a millstone around my neck and plunging into the Willamette with it. Probably while taking a few of our ridiculous pitchers with me.

Fun Fact: For the 12th time in 14 years, the Raccoons-Falcons series ends up 5-4 for either team.

It was them this year, and it’s been them most years. We had only four of the dozen 5-4 outcomes. We also had the two outliers, 2034 and 2037, when we took seven wins both times.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (64-65) vs. Knights (58-72) – August 26-28, 2041

At the rate at which the Raccoons were playing .500 against crummy teams, I expected no good thing to come out of this Knights series, either, even though we led the season series, 4-2. Atlanta, tied for last place in the South, had won four games in a row. They sat sixth in runs scored and 11th in runs allowed. Their rotation was meh, but their bullpen was atrocious even by Raccoons standards.

Projected matchups:
Drew Johnson (6-11, 3.97 ERA) vs. Javy Santana (10-5, 3.41 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (9-9, 3.76 ERA) vs. Bill Nichol (5-9, 4.89 ERA)
Josh Brown (12-6, 3.79 ERA) vs. Brad Santry (7-8, 2.75 ERA)

A full slate of right-handers was being offered by the Knights.

The Raccoons received no word on Jesus Maldonado’s injury by the Monday game. As usual, I feared the worst and that Dr. Padilla had already put him down. In any case, we were a guy short for the opener at the very least.

Game 1
ATL: RF Montes – 1B Jam. King – 3B Crim – CF Oliver – C Horner – 2B J. Matos – LF Ledford – SS McKoy – P Santana
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Goetz – 2B Trevino – CF Reyna – RF Ito – P Johnson

Jesus Matos capped a 4-run first inning for Atlanta with a homer. Johnson basically had nothing, offering up a hit, a walk, a drilled batter, and a sac fly by Adam Horner before Matos ripped a 3-piece to left-center. Joe Crim doubled and scored on a Horner single in the third inning, while the Raccoons were just as anemic as the last couple of weeks, which was a state that probably wouldn’t get better any time soon. In the fourth inning, the opposing pitcher, tossing a neat 1-hit shutout that was great to watch if you happened to root for the team in the black hats, fired a ball to the fence in left that Manny Fernandez caught mid-tumble and mid-fence, then had a little nap on the warning track. Slappy and me in perfect synchronization opened a pair of bottles of One-Eyed Jack’s while Manny was stretchered off and replaced by Jake Trawick rather than Balaski, because, you know, I liked to have an alive outfielder on the bench during the middle innings…

The Knights lost Santana to injury while he was still lobbing a 2-hit shutout in the sixth inning. Facing the bullpen helped the Raccoons not in the slightest, while their own relief corps at least prevented the score from becoming even more lopsided after Johnson was yanked following the fifth inning. The Knights scored only one more run with a Tyler McKoy jack off Pointless Acquisition #2, Jon Craig. Only after that did the Raccoons make the board, when Jeff Kilmer hit a 2-run homer off Mike Simcoe in the bottom of the ninth. By then I was zoomed out on One-Eyed Jack’s and all was merry. 6-2 Knights. Balaski (PH) 1-1; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, HR, 2 RBI; Goetz 2-4; Zimmerman 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

Good news – no bad news from Dr. Padilla between games. Presumably Manny and Maldo were still alive? However, neither was available for Tuesday, either, yet both occupied a roster spot.

All hail the three-man bench! (clanks bottles with Slappy)

Game 2
ATL: LF Hester – 1B Jam. King – 3B Crim – C Horner – 2B J. Matos – RF Montes – CF N. Velez – SS McKoy – P Nichol
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – C Kilmer – 1B Goetz – CF Reyna – RF Balaski – LF Ito – P Chavez

There were things to like and things to not like at all about Bernie Chavez’ start. First, he served up a homer to Jamie King, but then we had seen that before. It was the 204th homer allowed by Bernie in his career, and likely not the last one, not even while on the Raccoons. That homer marked the only run in five innings against the Critters, with Bernie striking out the side in the second inning. He also loaded the bases in that inning on two walks and a double before getting Nichol to fan to leave all of them aboard. And here was the main problem: wasteful pitching – five innings took Chavez more than 80 pitches. He was also on the hook, since the Raccoons’ lineup, amputated in manifold ways, was not exactly a challenge to Nichol, who struck out five against two base hits through four innings. When Miguel Reyna opened the bottom 5th with a single to center, Bill Balaski immediately hit into a double play. Joy.

Bernie Chavez pitched only one more inning, which included a Jesus Matos single in a full count, Andy Montes hitting into a double play, Nelson Velez reaching with a single and stealing second, a walk to McKoy, and finally a sad out from Nichol, putting the Portland hurler at 110 pitches through six. When Jake Trawick batted for him to begin the bottom 6th, he ran a 3-0 count against Nichol, then poked and grounded out to Joe Crim. And yet, the inept team somehow tied up the score in the inning. Berto walked. Hunter hit a 2-out single. Kilmer hit a single to left that Billy Hester mishandled, giving everybody an extra base, including home plate to Berto. With the go-ahead runs in scoring position Art Goetz feebly struck out. The Coons sent Lindstrom to pitch in the seventh. He allowed a double to Hester, then left the game with the next injury. Brent Clark replaced him, walked Joe Crim with one out, but after Horner whiffed, Crim was picked off first base by Kilmer to end the inning.

After the Coons took a 2-1 lead in the bottom 7th when Balaski singled home Reyna (leadoff double) and Ito grounded out to send Balaski to third base, the Raccoons’ 22-man roster enticed them to have Brent Clark (2-for-2 this year!) bat for himself. He hit a ******* RBI single, extending his own lead to 3-1. Berto and Cosmo hit singles behind him to fill the bases, but Tony Hunter struck out. Jeff Kilmer came through with two outs, slapping a 2-run single to right against southpaw Vinny Ramirez that ran the tally to 5-1. The inning ended with Goetz popping out. Clark left with the bases loaded in the top 8th, though, with Alex Ramirez taking over against Hester with two outs. He notched a strikeout, leading to Slappy, Cristiano, and me improvising a naughty shanty rhyming with Hester and ********. Wyatt Hamill completed the game with a 4-run lead in the ninth inning. 5-1 Critters. Hunter 2-4, 2B; Kilmer 3-4, 3 RBI; Reyna 2-4, 2B; Clark 1.2 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 2 K, W (2-3) and 1-1, RBI;

Slowly but surely the injury news then dribbled in. Manny Fernandez reported that Manny Fernandez had tweaked his shoulder well enough to require a DL stint. He should return for the last week or so of the season, though. No news on Lindstrom and especially Maldonado, though, by Wednesday, and I had a hunch that Dr. Padilla had already buried him somewhere on the premises.

Roster move, thus: Manny to the DL, and we promoted OF Van Anderson, second-rounder from the 2036 draft, who was hitting .269/.377/.372 in AAA. He played a decent centerfield, but was not an overwhelming defender at any position. He batted left-handed and got his first starting assignment right away on Wednesday.

Game 3
ATL: RF Hester – 1B Jam. King – 3B Crim – 2B J. Matos – LF Montes – C Krumholz – CF Oliver – SS McKoy – P Santry
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – C Morales – LF Reyna – 1B Goetz – CF Anderson – RF Balaski – P Brown

Anderson made his first catch on a gentle fly by Joe Crim in the first inning, and batted for the first time in the bottom 2nd, grounding out to Jesus Matos for the second out. Balaski followed with a single, while Brown grounded to Crim, who threw the ball away for two bases, but Berto flew out to Andy Montes to end the inning. Brown allowed one hit and notched seven strikeouts in the first three innings, which neatly exploded his pitch count, while the Coons got Cosmo and Hunter to the corners with nobody out in the bottom 3rd. Hunter stole his 31st base, and both runners scored on groundouts by Morales and Reyna, 2-0.

Brown reached 10 strikeouts and also 74 pitches through five innings, maintaining a 2-hit shutout, while the Raccoons failed to score in the bottom 5th despite Cosmo opening the inning with a triple in right-center. Hunter grounded out to third base, Morales walked (*fine* excuse), Reyna popped out and Goetz whiffed. In turn, the Knights opened the sixth with Hester and King singles. The latter was to center, with Anderson trying to throw out Hester at third base, but pulling a Balaski instead and firing the ball well past Berto for a run-scoring error. Crim grounded out and Brown rung up the next two to get out of the inning. Anderson tried to make up for the error with a leadoff single in the bottom 6th, but the inept bat handling by the following players precluded that particular leadoff base knock to turn into a run, either. I agree, Slappy. Drinking is all one can do.

Brown struck out Zachary Krumholz for #13 to begin the seventh, but that was the last out he logged. Brian Oliver and Tyler McKoy hit singles, and after 104 pitches Brown was definitely toast. The Raccoons sent Chuck Jones against ex-Coon Brad Ledford, getting a fielder’s choice for the second out. With runners on the corners, Hester struck out in a full count to end the inning. King hit a leadoff single off Jones in the eighth, but was doubled up by Crim against Tim Zim. In the ninth, Hamill closed out the game against a 2-out single by McKoy, but that was that. 2-1 Blighters. Trevino 3-4, 3B, 2B; Brown 6.1 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 13 K, W (13-6);

So we had a starter with 13 whiffs, one guy a homer shy of the cycle, and that was about it for this game. Eh. Whatever works.

Raccoons (66-66) vs. Crusaders (78-55) – August 29-September 1, 2041

The first-place Crusaders (what?) came in to extend their 6-5 edge in the season series. They sat second in runs scored and runs allowed (+105 run differential) in the league, but had suffered a few injuries, including catcher Fernando Alba and pitchers Aaron Hickey and Dave Hils. I didn’t see how we were going to stop them, though. If anything, maybe we could stop their rampant base-stealing. They led the CL in that category with 119 bags, 16 bases ahead of the Raccoons.

Projected matchups:
Zack Kelly (1-0, 1.80 ERA) vs. Todd Lush (10-11, 3.97 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (9-10, 5.01 ERA) vs. Bill Herrmann (7-0, 4.01 ERA)
Drew Johnson (6-12, 4.12 ERA) vs. Jeff Johnson (13-5, 3.27 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (9-9, 3.69 ERA) vs. Chris Inderrieden (1-1, 9.12 ERA)

Two left, two right from the New Yorkers here! Inderrieden had faced the Coons in his season debut on August 4, getting stuffed for nine runs in 1.1 innings. He had since then delivered four games in which he allowed 17 earned runs in a total of 24.1 innings (6.29 ERA).

Meanwhile the Raccoons finally received the remaining dispatch of the casualties at the Battle of Gettysburg. No fractures, no tears, no deep gashing wounds, “just” strains: Jesus Maldonado and David Lindstrom were both headed for the DL. The former had a shoulder strain and might also return for the last week of the year. The latter had an elbow strain and was done for ’41. Whether he’d don the brown hat again was up in the air as of now – Lindstrom would be arbitration eligible again this winter.

At least Aruba rejoiced: the Raccoons brought back Jay de Wit, Aruba’s Finest, to replace the fallen Maldonado. The pen got an injection of Josh Rella, the only healthy righty reliever on the 40-man I could make available on short notice.

Game 1
NYC: SS Adame – 3B Sifuentes – LF Besaw – RF Platero – C D. Phillips – 1B Rudd – 2B Nash – CF Graf – P Lush
POR: 2B Trevino – CF Reyna – SS Hunter – C Kilmer – RF Ito – 1B Goetz – 3B Trawick – LF de Wit – P Kelly

Randolph Nash drove in Devin Phillips with the game’s first run in the second inning, but the Raccoons answered swiftly; Kilmer drew a leadoff walk against Todd Lush in the bottom 2nd before the score flipped on back-to-back doubles by Ito and Goetz, the latter grabbing two runs batted in, before the whoopsie-daisy-doozie-doo part of the lineup came up. Trawick popped out, but de Wit hit an RBI single, probably prompting a National Holiday to be declared in Aruba.

But while Zack Kelly had been fine in his first spot start, the Crusaders would whack him around quite a bit. Phillips hit a leadoff jack in the fourth, narrowing the gap to 3-2, and the game became tied on a Nash single and Joe Graf’s RBI double. New York got seven hits off Kelly in four innings, and they were almost all really hard hit. They added another two hits and a walk against Kelly until he was removed following the sixth inning, but didn’t actually take a lead against the left-handed rookie. The game then remained locked at three, with the Crusaders finding some creative ways to not score. Jose Platero drew a leadoff walk from Josh Rella in the top of the eighth, then stole second base. He was then doubled off when Phillips lined out to Cosmo. Brent Clark then came on, walked Tom Rudd, but got a pop from Nash to end the inning. Bottom 8th, Hunter zinged a double into the leftfield corner against Lush, then moved up on Kilmer’s groundout. With one out, Rikuto Ito grinded out a full-count walk, which ended the day for Lush. Righty Mike Gutierrez then conceded a sharp single up the middle to Art Goetz and a 4-3 lead to the Critters, then walked Trawick. With three on and one out, it was Jay de Wit, and also deflation when he spanked a bouncer into a 4-6-3 double play. With Hamill having been out two days in a row, the Raccoons stuck to Clark in the ninth, which was good enough for the win. Joe Graf drew a leadoff walk, but was doubled up to facilitate the end of the game. 4-3 Raccoons. Goetz 3-4, 2B, 3 RBI;

Three in a row! Without any offensive contributors!

(hears coughing behind him)

(stares into the variously sad or annoyed black googly eyes of Hunter, Morales, Kilmer, Goetz, and Reyna)

Game 2
NYC: C D. Phillips – CF Graf – LF Besaw – 2B Briones – RF Platero – 1B Rudd – SS Nash – 3B Sifuentes – P Herrmann
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – C Kilmer – RF Ito – 1B Goetz – LF Trawick – CF Anderson – P Moreno

Formerly high-soaring Nelson Moreno remained trapped in a death spiral towards solid ground and annihilation and gave up runs bit by bit in another lousy outing. Joe Graf hit a solo homer in the first, and Joe Besaw did so in the fourth. In the fifth he gave up two walks and an RBI single to Graf. In the sixth he gave up two hits and then another RBI single to Ramon Sifuentes. No “oh well”, no “yes but” – it was a crummy outing that ended after six innings and another four runs, all earned. Even crummier: the offense. Through five innings, the Critters poked Herrmann for four hits, and only Tony Hunter managed to land more than a single, but was stranded after doubling in the fourth. Cosmo opened the bottom 6th with a single, stole a base, and was stranded anyway. The Critters broke the ice only in the bottom 7th with a single by Goetz and then a rather unexpected 2-run homer to left-center mashed by Trawick, cutting the deficit in half. It was also the last time the Raccoons put a guy on base under their own power – they only got Tony Morales to get nailed by Josh Livingston from here on out. 4-2 Crusaders. Trawick 2-3, HR, 2 RBI; de Wit (PH) 1-1;

Sigh.

Game 3
NYC: SS Adame – CF Graf – 2B Briones – RF Platero – 1B Rudd – C D. Phillips – LF Salek – 3B Nash – P J. Johnson
POR: 3B Ramos – LF Reyna – SS Hunter – C Morales – 1B Goetz – CF Anderson – RF Ito – 2B Nickas – P D. Johnson

Two Johnson took the mound, and neither did spectacularly well. But while New York’s Johnson gave up two runs in the first inning, RBIs courtesy of Goetz and Anderson with two outs (the first of Anderson’s brief career), Portland’s Johnson soon enough overtook him in giving up runs. The Crusaders leveled the score right away in the top 2nd, with a leadoff double by Jose Platero, Rudd’s RBI single, and two productive outs (RBI for Rich Salek), and then Drew Johnson descended into full-count hell again, just like on Monday. He ran four full counts in the fourth inning, resulting in two walks and ultimately a 2-out RBI single by Nash to give New York the lead, then gave up another run marginally faster in the fifth. The Raccoons’ ramshackle lineup stood by, paws scratching heads, and wondered how the **** the Crusaders were doing this.

Drew Johnson was gone after six, and yet somehow the Raccoons came within 15 feet of tying the game in the seventh, with Steve Nickas (having forced out Ito) on first base and Balaski pinch-hitting and driving a 2-out ball to the fence. It was caught by Salek. Then came a colossal meltdown in the eighth inning. Brent Clark entered and retired nobody, yielding three singles before leaving with the bags full. Tim Zimmerman gave up an RBI single to new nemesis Adam Lovett, and another one to Nash. PH Tyler Miles then jammed a ball into a double play, getting Clark’s third run across nevertheless. Alex Adame flew out to left, ending the inning at 7-2. The Coons had them on the corners in the bottom 8th, but Goetz struck out to leave them there, and in the ninth inning we had Ito and Cosmo on base against Mike Gutierrez. Then Kilmer and Berto both struck out to end the game. 7-2 Crusaders. Ito 2-4;

That concluded the 25-man roster phase of the season and the teams were heartily invited, starting Sunday, to add more players for September shenanigans. In all honesty, I did not know who to call up anymore. We already had some pretty fine AAA hitting and pitching here!

In the end, we added just two arms and two bats, the usual minimum for the team when there’s nothing on the line and we’re just going through the motions in September. SP Corey Mathers (0-3, 2.78 ERA) came back and would slide into the rotation in place of Zack Kelly. We added another starter, who would make his debut, 2038 second-rounder Jake White, who had struggled considerably in his first AAA campaign at age 24 (more walks than whiffs…), but a double-header was up on Monday and we needed an arm. His rest cycle matched up precisely. For the bench, Chris Lancaster returned as third catcher, and we added Stephon Nettles, who was hitting under .200 in AAA just as he had hit under .200 with the Critters. No callup went out to highly touted prospects Arturo Carreno and Sandy Casaus, who had also not been very impressive in AAA this season.

Game 4
NYC: SS Adame – 1B Rudd – CF Besaw – 2B Briones – 3B Sifuentes – RF Melendez – C Duguay – LF Graf – P Inderrieden
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – C Morales – LF Reyna – 1B Goetz – CF Anderson – RF Balaski – SS Nickas – P Chavez

Anybody remember when I said that Bernie would certainly allow more home runs in his major league career and – …? Sifuentes, second inning, solo deed to left, first marker on the board. (sighs and takes another big sip of booze) That was the only run through five innings in the game, with both teams scattering four hits apiece in largely inefficient manner. Remember also that we pounded Inderrieden last time we faced him. Getting two Critters aboard at the same time on Sunday took five and two thirds and walks to Morales and Reyna. And then Goetz grounded out on the first pitch. Van Anderson stole his first career base after a leadoff single in the bottom 7th, however, then scored on a single by future Hall of Famer Steve Nickas, who lifted his average for the year to .188 with his game-tying heroics. Then Bernie hit into a double play.

As fast (cough) as the Raccoons had tied the game, the Crusaders unraveled Bernie in the eighth. Roger Duguay struck out, but then Joe Graf singled and Bernie himself butchered Inderrieden’s bunt for an extra runner. Salek singled to load the bags, and while Rudd popped out to Cosmo, singles by Besaw and Briones scored three unearned runs to break the sourly attained tie. Sifuentes whiffed to hand the bat back to the Raccoons, who brought the tying run to the plate when Cosmo and Morales reached with one out in the bottom 8th. Unfortunately that brought up the string of ho-hum batters that we were dealing with by now. Inderrieden lost Reyna in a full count, though, loading the bases, but this would not shatter the Crusaers skipper’s confidence in him. Art Goetz dropped an RBI single, Van Anderson hit a sac fly, and Bill Balaski flew out to center, keeping the tying and go-ahead runs aboard. The Crusaders also made up the two runs when they waffled Josh Rella in the ninth. Hunter, Nettles, and Ramos made outs in order in the bottom of the inning. 6-3 Crusaders. Trevino 3-4; Goetz 2-4, RBI;

In other news

August 26 – SFB 2B/1B Thomas Gould (.253, 3 HR, 30 RBI) hits a home run for the only score in the Bayhawks’ 1-0 win over the Titans.
August 27 – The Crusaders rout the Condors, 16-2, scoring ten runs in the fourth inning alone. NYC C Roger Duguay (.571, 0 HR, 3 RBI) starts in the majors for the first time and raps out three hits with a triple and 3 RBI.
August 30 – SAL C Morgan Kuhlmann (.268, 28 HR, 88 RBI) shines with a homer, two doubles, and 5 RBI as the Wolves take down the Gold Sox, 14-3.
August 30 – ATL SP Javy Santana (9-4, 3.33 ERA) is both out for the season and questionable for Opening Day in ’42 with a torn rotator cuff.
August 30 – Blue Sox C Jorge Santa Cruz (.262, 16 HR, 59 RBI) is out for up to four weeks with a strained hamstring.
September 1 – BOS SP Aaron Howell (6-11, 3.65 ERA) 3-hits the Canadiens in a 4-0 shutout.

FL Player of the Week: LAP OF Juan Benavides (.280, 15 HR, 74 RBI), hitting .481 (13-27) with 3 HR, 10 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN LF/RF Justin Becker (.286, 9 HR, 56 RBI), batting .480 (12-25) with 2 HR, 3 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: LAP OF Juan Benavides (280, 15 HR, 74 RBI), batting .351 with 5 HR, 29 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: IND RF/LF Mario Ochoa (.307, 12 HR, 37 RBI), poking .389 with 8 HR, 25 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: TOP SP Josh Bourgeois (10-5, 3.13 ERA), hurling for a 4-0 mark with 1.20 ERA, 31 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: NYC SP Jeff Johnson (14-5, 3.25 ERA), tossing to a 5-1 record with 1.88 ERA, 33 K
FL Rookie of the Month: RIC LF Pablo Gonzalez (.295, 19 HR, 70 RBI), splattering .283 with 5 HR, 22 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: NYC SP Jeff Johnson (14-5, 3.25 ERA), still tossing to a 5-1 record with 1.88 ERA, 33 K

Complaints and stuff

You win some, you lose some. None of it matters. As long as we don’t get swept next week by the damn Elks to invite them back into the race for the division. Between the Crusaders and Loggers, I don’t have any favorites.

The Gold Sox were eliminated mathematically on Sunday. They are terrifyingly bad. -161 run differential, last in runs scored AND runs allowed. They are running away with the #1 pick, too. They also like to hit their pitcher eighth, which means they are getting exactly what they deserve.

We’ll play seven next week, starting with two on Monday against Indy. We’ll play all seven of those games without one outfielder worth a sigh with both Manny and Maldo on the DL now.

Not to mention being bereft of Nick Lando …!

Fun Fact: The Raccoons are inches away from winning only one season series against a CL North team for the third straight season.

And that is the Indians series, which we have bagged already (10-1). We also beat the Indians last year (12-6). In ’39 it was the Crusaders (12-6). We lost every other season series against a division rival for this year and the two years prior, except for the Titans set last year (9-9), and the jury is still out against the damn Elks and Crusaders this year, but we’re trailing.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (67-69) @ Indians (55-80) – September 2-4, 2041

The only way for the Raccoons to stave off a losing season was to exploit their last seven games this year with the terrible Indians. We were up 10-1 in the season series, and they appeared to be as rancid as ever. Ninth in runs scored, last in runs allowed, their -95 run differential however was not all that much worse than the Raccoons (-63). They also liked to mash homers, and our staff liked to give up homers. A match made in hell.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (13-6, 3.70 ERA) vs. Ayden Cobb (6-10, 4.07 ERA)
Jake White (0-0) vs. Alex Flores (9-13, 4.85 ERA)
Corey Mathers (0-3, 2.78 ERA) vs. Manuel Herrera (8-11, 4.83 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (9-11, 5.05 ERA) vs. Jake Jackson (10-13, 3.86 ERA)

This was a 4-game set conducted in three days, with a double header on Monday. It looked like the Arrowheads would only cart up right-handers, though.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – C Morales – 1B Goetz – LF Reyna – RF Balaski – CF Nettles – P Brown
IND: LF D. Gonzales – 3B Hutson – C Mordino – RF Sanderfer – 1B Dodson – SS D. Serrato – CF D. Rivera – 2B Peets – P Cobb

Art Goetz killed the first inning with a double play ball when the Raccoons had one in and two on, although for once I would not blame that one on the batter. Goetz lined out to short and Tony Morales, who had just doubled home Alberto Ramos, was caught WELL off the base and erased on a 6-unassisted credited to Dave Serrato. Cosmo was stranded at third base. Portland also turned a not-that-common double play in the first, a 3-6-3 on Dan Hutson after a leadoff walk to David Gonzales. Brown walked the leadoff batter twice in the first two innings, and seemed to lack stuff in general. He lasted only five innings, running numerous long counts and issuing four walks in total alongside four hits and a lone run, a solo shot by David Gonzales that got us tied after five, because who here really had the Raccoons tacking on to an early lead on their bingo card? Bottom 6th, back-to-back extra-base screamers by Danny Rivera and Will Peets off Pointless Deadline Acquisition #2 gave the Indians a 2-1 lead, but to anyone’s surprise that was not game over yet. Facing lefty Aaron Curl in the eighth inning, Miguel Reyna dropped a 2-out single, and then Balaski whacked a screamer into the gap for an RBI triple, getting everybody level at two. Balaski of course would be stranded. Pinch-hitter Rikuto Ito walked, and Van Anderson grounded out easily. After Zack Kelly held the Indians where they were in the bottom 8th, the ninth opened with a Berto single. He advanced to second on Cosmo’s grounder, then to third on Jeff Diaz’ error at first base on Hunter’s roller. Runners on the corner for Tony Morales, facing right-hander Greg Colwill, a 35-year-old veteran of eight ABL appearances between 2034 and 2041. He lined out hard. Art Goetz, though, this time came through, whipping a single to center to break the tie in Portland’s favor. Reyna struck out, and Wyatt Hamill walked a pair of Indians before Mario Ochoa popped out to end the game. 3-2 Blighters. Ramos 2-3, 2 BB; Reyna 2-5; Balaski 2-4, 3B, RBI;

Game 2
POR: 2B Trevino – LF Reyna – SS Hunter – C Kilmer – 1B Goetz – RF Balaski – 3B de Wit – CF Anderson – P White
IND: LF D. Gonzales – 3B Hutson – RF Sanderfer – 1B Dodson – SS D. Serrato – CF D. Rivera – C Alfonso – 2B Munoz – P A. Flores

Jake White’s major league career began with two soft outs, then two walks, but he got out of the first inning unharmed. His first career K was Danny Rivera in the bottom 2nd. I also would have liked to report on who got him his first major league lead, but the Raccoons had no hits against Alex Flores through three innings, and at that point things already derailed for White in spectacular fashion. Alex Sanderfer, Dave Serrato, and Danny Rivera all whacked homers to left off him in the bottom of the third inning, and Gonzales and Pat Dodson were also on base, handing White a 5-run beating. Funnily enough, that was all the earned runs he allowed in six innings of work – although a grim throwing error by Aruba’s Finest, Jay de Wit, facilitated an unearned run in the fifth inning.

And the Raccoons? Still getting no-hit. Jeff Kilmer drew a leadoff walk and was stranded at third base in the fifth inning, and that was IT for them through six innings. In the seventh, Reyna struck out, Hunter flew out to Juan Salinas in leftfield, and then Kilmer found the gap for a double, taking all the oxygen away from the 9,000 faithful that still bothered coming to the ballpark. Goetz then struck out to clean up the bases. No other Raccoon reached base until Flores leaked a 2-out walk to Reyna in the ninth inning. Hunter grounded out to end the game after all. 6-0 Indians. Kilmer 1-2, BB, 2B;

I am mellowing. Having to pick between hugging and smooching Kilmer and yelling obscenities at everybody else, I hugged Kilmer.

Oh, Jeff, your fur is so soft. How do you do that??

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – C Kilmer – 1B Goetz – LF Anderson – RF Ito – CF Nettles – P Mathers
IND: CF Crocker – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – LF D. Rivera – 1B Dodson – 2B Sanderfer – C Mordino – SS D. Serrato – P M. Herrera

The Raccoons did get a few hits early in the Tuesday game, they just didn’t get a run. The Indians also failed to score against winless Corey Mathers, despite being heartily invited in the bottom 4th. Dan Hutson singled and Danny Rivera walked, and Mathers threw a wild pitch to move them to scoring position with nobody out. And then, a pop, a K, and a fly to Nettles stranded them there. The scoreless duel stretched into the sixth when the Indians got a single (Ochoa) and a walk (Dodson) again, and then also a 2-out RBI single from Alex Sanderfer to break the ice. Sal Mordino grounded out to end the inning, but the Raccoons were now down a whopping 1-0 and had their work cut out for them. Their immediate offensive counterattack was limited to Stephon Nettles getting drilled, though, and nothing else, and in the bottom 7th Mathers hung around long enough to put Nick Crocker on base and get taken deep by Mario Ochoa, 3-0. Despite all their multiple shortcomings, the Raccoons would get the tying run to the plate against Joe Robinson in the ninth inning when Ito and Chris Lancaster both hit singles to go to the corners with one out. Berto hit a sac fly to Salinas, which didn’t help too much except staving off consecutive shutouts, but Cosmo singled to move Lancaster to second base. Hunter, though, flew out to Crocker. 3-1 Indians. Ito 2-4, 2B; Lancaster (PH) 1-1;

(looks bitter)

The Raccoons were a reliever short on Wednesday then. Zack Kelly came down with pinkeye, and was locked away in his hotel room, because that was ******* disgusting to look at.

Game 4
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – C Morales – 1B Reyna – LF Anderson – RF Ito – CF Nettles – P Moreno
IND: CF Crocker – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – LF D. Rivera – 1B Dodson – 2B Sanderfer – C Mordino – SS Russ – P J. Jackson

The Indians got the fast start, scoring an unearned run in the first inning when Crocker reached right away on a Trevino error. Ochoa singled, and two productive outs produced the run. The Raccoons ACTUALLY tied the game right away, with Nettles hitting a 2-out single when he found Reyna and Anderson on the corners in the top 2nd. Moreno then struck out, stranding two, then managed to hold on to that lowly tie through six innings without whiffing a single Indians batter. He allowed four hits total and a walk. The Raccoons sprinkled six hits around in six innings, but never got anything chained together again, and struck out seven times against Jake Jackson. The Raccoons also neatly managed to always bring up Moreno with two outs and some poor sod on base in the even-numbered innings, and it never went well for either one of them…

Miguel Reyna broke the tie in the seventh, singling home Tony Hunter with two outs to give the Coons a sniff of a split in this set. Even then, the Indians helped out, with Colwill, who had lost the opener on Monday, nailing Tony Morales to give them an extra runner and move Hunter to second base in the inning. Danny Rivera’s throw home was late, but allowed both remaining runners into scoring position, which they would have reached anyway on Van Anderson’s walk drawn in a full count afterwards. Ito socked in two runs with a single to knock out Colwill, and Chris Haskell walked Nettles. Balaski hit for Moreno before a decent-enough day could turn into a late nightmare, and also drew a walk to push home another run. Berto then flew out to Rivera to end the inning, up 5-1. After the Raccoons got two scoreless innings from Josh Rella, they gave the ball to Pointless Deadline Acquisition #2 in the ninth inning. Craig walked Sanderfer and Morales got his paw caught in a Mordino swing to create a save situation with two outs as catcher’s interference was called and put a second runner on base in a 4-run game. Alex Ramirez came out against righty batter Andrew Russ, who legged out an infield single. Jim Drews came up as the tying run – and struck out. 5-1 Raccoons. Nettles 2-4, BB, RBI; Balaski (PH) 0-0, BB, RBI; Moreno 6.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 1 BB, 0 K, W (10-11);

Every positional starter had at least one base hit in this scraper of a win (which also mathematically eliminated Indy for the year).

Split secured against the last-place team! The sky is the limit now!

Maud, who’s next? – Oh ****.

Raccoons (69-71) vs. Canadiens (74-65) – September 6-8, 2041

Last dibs against the damn Elks this year. They were by now also 7 1/2 games out and looked beaten. Playing half the year without Dan Schneller and Jerry Outram had turned out to be a bit too much bereavement for them. They still were first in runs scored, but had sagged to sixth in runs allowed. The season series saw the Critters behind, 8-7, with a chance to still win it with a sweep! (giggles)

Projected matchups:
Drew Johnson (6-13, 4.13 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (14-8, 3.39 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (9-10, 3.57 ERA) vs. Paul Medvec (3-9, 4.68 ERA)
Josh Brown (13-6, 3.64 ERA) vs. Eric Weitz (13-9, 3.83 ERA)

More right-handers!

Game 1
VAN: CF Peralta – SS Obando – 2B J. Becker – C Clemente – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – LF Jorgensen – 3B R. Ashley – P Sealock
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – C Morales – 1B Goetz – CF Reyna – LF Ito – RF Balaski – P Johnson

Cosmo and Hunter reached base in the first inning and advanced on Tony Morales’ groundout, allowing Art Goetz to plate a pair with a ball whacked near the leftfield line, with Steve Jorgensen holding him to a single. Reyna grounded out then. Johnson hung one to Ray Ashley to get the damn Elks halfway the first time through, and the second time through Johnny Lopez did the remaining honors with two outs in the fourth for a 2-2 tie. The Raccoons did … not a whole lot, really.

With both teams on two runs and five hits, the Raccoons got singles from Morales and Ito in the bottom 6th, but stranded them on the corners when Balaski grounded out to Justin Becker. In turn, PH Jamie Meehan reached second base to start the seventh inning on a gross throwing error by Hunter. Roy Pincus broke the tie with a pinch-hit single to right. Johnson was visibly grumpy coming off the mound for the seventh-inning stretch, and would not get a chance to redeem himself either, with his spot leading off the bottom 7th. Van Anderson singled to left, and Berto singled to center, springing a blossom of a comeback chance. Cosmo grounded out to Johnny Lopez, advancing the runners… and then Hunter hit a comebacker to Marcus Goode, keeping them pinned, and Tony Morales flew out to Steve Jorgensen…

After Alex Ramirez left a guy on in the eighth, the Raccoons got runners into scoring position in the bottom 8th – with nobody out! Goetz singled, Reyna doubled to left, and new pitcher Juan Dias, a righty, would make his debut in that calm spot, 3-2 in the bottom 8th against the damn Elks’ bitter arch rivals. Ito came up, hit a bouncer to Meehan at third base, and I was ready to scream, until Meehan, who had to bare-hand it, had the ball glance off his thumb and into foul ground. Goetz, who had shadowed him for a few yards, dashed home at once, tied the game, and the Raccoons got to the corners, still with nobody out. Bill Balaski then broke the tie with a sac fly, 4-3, but that was all the team got before throwing Hamill onto the mound. He walked leadoff man Matt Dear, but Pincus hit into a double play. Guillermo Obando grounded out to short. 4-3 Raccoons!! Ramos 2-5; Trevino 2-5; Goetz 2-4, 2 RBI; Ito 2-4, RBI; Anderson (PH) 1-1; Johnson 7.0 IP, 6 H, 3 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K;

Win!!

Game 2
VAN: CF Peralta – SS Obando – 2B J. Becker – C Clemente – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – LF Jorgensen – 3B R. Ashley – P Medvec
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – C Morales – 1B Goetz – CF Reyna – LF Ito – RF Balaski – P Chavez

Tony Hunter hit a jack in the first to give the Critters an early 1-0 lead. Before anybody else scored or the damn Elks even got a hit, we got a half-hour rain delay to throw Bernie Chavez off kilter. Becker had the Elks’ first hit, a single that barely reached the outfield, in the fourth inning. The Critters had Reyna on in the second, and Cosmo in the fourth, and had both caught stealing by Timóteo Clemente, which was one way to not get ahead of the odd homer always falling out of Bernie’s sleeve. It looked like that would be a 3-piece today, in the fifth, with Antonio Peralta driving a baseball LOUDLY to right with Jorgensen (walk) and Ashley (drilled) on base and two outs. Balaski picked the damn thing off the fence, and, luckily, that was the third out, so he had no chance to commit a stupid throwing error afterwards. Instead, Art Goetz conquered the empty space above the fence that marked the boundary, hitting a leadoff jack to left-center in the bottom of the inning, his fifth of his rookie season. Balaski then cut off a double by Victor Vazquez with two outs in the sixth and Justin Becker starting from first base, and hammered the runner out at home to end that inning, too.

Bernie got stuck after six and two thirds, when Marc DeVita singled to knock him out after 108 pitches (and a rain delay!). That was the second 2-out runner for the damn Elks in the inning, with Ashley already on first base, reaching second on the play. Tim Zimmerman replaced Bernie once Pincus batted for Peralta, ran a full count, then allowed a howling liner to left – and right at Ito to end the inning. Zimmerman, who hadn’t allowed a run in a full month, continued in the eighth inning, where Obando reached when Hunter dropped his pop. I groaned, but Becker smacked into a double play, 4-6-3. Clemente flew out easily to right. Nothing good happened offensively at this stage, so Hamill still had the 2-0 lead to work with when the ninth rolled around. He struck out Vazquez. He struck out Lopez. And he struck out Jorgensen! 2-0 Furballs!! Chavez 6.2 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 6 K, W (10-10);

Is it over, Cristiano? Can I look again? Did we win?

(peeks through between two claws)

Whee!!

Game 3
VAN: 2B Agosto – SS Obando – RF J. Becker – 1B J. Lopez – LF Jorgensen – CF V. Vazquez – C James – 3B R. Ashley – P Weitz
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – C Kilmer – 1B Goetz – LF Reyna – RF Balaski – CF Nettles – P Brown

Come on, boys! For honor!!

Hits by Goetz and Reyna, plus a well-placed groundout by Balaski gave the Raccoons another 1-0 lead in the second inning, but the Elks tied the game in the following inning with a 2-out single by Obando and Becker’s RBI double up the leftfield line. A Ramos Special reclaimed the lead – and who knows how many more of those we will get? – when Berto singled, stole second base, and came around on Cosmo’s single in the bottom 3rd. Reyna and Balaski reached the inning after, but Nettles and Brown couldn’t get a ball to fall in and stranded them, and in turn the damn Elks tied the game again in the fifth. Ray Ashley reached base on a single and was plated by Jose Agosto with another single off Brown, who lacked strikeout power in this game. Obando also reached when a pitch tickled his hoof, and a double steal put both runners in scoring position with one out in the tied game. Then Becker popped out and Lopez was rung up to strand them.

Rinse, repeat. Cosmo double, Hunter RBI single – new Coons lead, 3-2, in the bottom 5th. Then Hunter was caught stealing and Kilmer grounded out on a 3-0 pitch to drive me more insane, bit by bit. The Elks were stranded on the corners when Weitz popped out in the sixth; Jorgensen had hit a leadoff single and was moved onwards twice with well-placed outs, and the Coons walked Ashley with intent and two outs.

Brown reached 100 pitches in the seventh inning and his spot also led off the bottom of the frame, so that was it for him in this Sunday affair. De Wit and Berto hit singles up the middle against Weitz to begin the inning, but didn’t advance further until Kilmer was nicked with two outs, loading the bases for Goetz, who hit at a 3-1 pitch and grounded out to Lopez. (sigh!!)

Top 8th, Brent Clark offered a leadoff walk to Lopez, who was run for by speed demon Alex Perez as the tying run – the damn Elks were eight games out and could not afford another loss. They HAD to turn this one around. Jorgensen popped out. When Dear hit for Vazquez, a righty for a switch-hitter, the Raccoons sprung the bullpen door open and brought Pointless Deadline Acquisition #2. Dear reached when Balaski dropped his fly for an error (…!!), sending Perez to third base with one gone, but the damn Elks didn’t run for Dear, and when Derek James grounded to short, they were doubled up, 6-4-3 …! The Raccoons could not get the offense going again, so there was no cushion for Alex Ramirez in the ninth – Hamill was unavailable – which opened with DeVita pinch-hitting in the #8 spot. Ramirez hadn’t allowed a run since JULY, and started the inning with a grounder to Trevino for the first out. Next he waved for the trainer and was collected by Dr. Padilla after a short discussion. Dismayed, the Raccoons found Clemente batting ninth now, so had to bring another righty. Between him, Sims, and Rella, they picked Zimmerman every day of the week. First pitch was hit to right by Clemente, and Balaski not only got there, but for a nice change also actually caught the ******* thing. Pincus pinch-hit in the #1 hole again, and popped out to Hunter on the first pitch he saw. 3-2 Furballs!! Ramos 2-4; Trevino 2-4, 2B, RBI; Reyna 2-3, BB; de Wit (PH) 1-1; Brown 7.0 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 3 K, W (14-6);

SWEPT THE ******* ELKS!!

(boogie-woogies around the desk)

Ow! Dr. Padilla! I pulled something!

In other news

September 2 – Charlotte’s RF Chris Robinson (.295, 15 HR, 68 RBI) cracks three home runs, all solo shots, as the Falcons drop a 14-13 circus game to the Thunder, who score nine runs in the bottom of the ninth to get the walkoff win. The 26-year-old Robinson is a full-time player for the first time in his career and has 34 career homers with 154 RBI, batting .280, now.
September 3 – LVA OF Justin Beaudoin (.218, 3 HR, 19 RBI) will labor all winter on a torn flexor tendon in his elbow, but should be available for Opening Day.
September 3 – CIN C/1B Ricky Rodriguez (.243, 7 HR, 48 RBI) hits a homer for a 1-0 win over the Blue Sox.
September 5 – The Thunder pick up MR Marty Madera (4-4, 2.95 ERA) from the Aces, who receive #88 prospect SS Pedro Quinonez.
September 6 – TIJ 3B/2B Nick Rozenboom (.265, 10 HR, 80 RBI) is out for the year with an elbow sprain.
September 7 – The Falcons beat the Aces, 11-10, on a walkoff grand slam by CHA C/1B Mitch Cook (.286, 8 HR, 39 RBI) served up by Vegas’ Aaron Duval (4-11, 4.50 ERA, 35 SV).
September 8 – NAS LF/RF Sean Ashley (.289, 21 HR, 92 RBI) procures a 3-0 win for the Blue Sox with a walkoff home run off Richmond’s Yeom Soung (4-4, 2.79 ERA, 30 SV).

FL Player of the Week: PIT LF/CF Bill Reeves (.245, 17 HR, 69 RBI), hitting .462 (12-26) with 4 HR, 11 RBI
CL Player of the Week: CHA C/1B Mitch Cook (.283, 8 HR, 39 RBI), playing .476 (10-21) ball with 2 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

(wears a stupid grin)

The weekend set makes it 585-585 all time against the dismal hooved demons from the North, and with three weeks to play it also shot all their playoff hopes to bits. The only thing irking me is that they will be able to blame it all on injuries because their two best hitters have missed 109 games and counting so far.

How good is our offense? Corey Mathers is getting less than two runs of support per start. That is how good our offense is.

The Raccoons moved David Lindstrom to the 60-day DL this week to make room for ******* Travis Sims. No idea how to replace Ramirez – Dr. Padilla says he has rotator cuff inflammation and has to be shut down for the year. There’s some Taiwanese bob in AAA named Chuah-kah Yuen (or so) with a 7.91 ERA that could perhaps … Ah! Josh Rella can pitch setup for all I care! We swept the stupid smirk of the damn Elks’ stupid visages!

Fun Fact: Only once before did a Falcons player hit three home runs in one game; Ryan Feldmann did so in a 6-3 win over the Aces in 2017.

The 3-time All Star did so in his age 30 season, the first full season after being traded over from the Condors. He never led the league in any category, but won two Platinum Sticks (2013-14) for .810+ OPS seasons as a centerfielder. He finished his career with 1,906 hits and a .259/.344/.425 clip as well as 252 homers, 1,101 RBI, and 98 stolen bases.

[DD Martin]

This season is a nail-bitter for me

[Questdog]

It cannot ever be THAT bad a season when you win the seasons series from the Moosebrains!

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by DD Martin

This season is a nail-bitter for me

Finger or metal nails?

(crunches his cereals with a spruce of Capt'n Coma and a sprinkling of silvery screws)

Originally Posted by Questdog

It cannot ever be THAT bad a season when you win the seasons series from the Moosebrains!

That has compensated for lousiness before. Like in '97.

Oops, seamlessly back to the decade of darkness!

[Westheim]

Raccoons (72-71) @ Crusaders (83-60) – September 10-12, 2041

Tied for first place on Tuesday morning, the Crusaders needed to wrap up the Raccoons in swift fashion this week to stay in the fight with the Loggers for the division crown. They were second in both runs scored and runs allowed with a +107 run differential (Coons: -62, having slid to second from the bottom in the former category by now). New York led the season series, 9-6.

Projected matchups:
Corey Mathers (0-4, 3.00 ERA) vs. Jeff Johnson (15-5, 3.16 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (10-11, 4.87 ERA) vs. Ernesto Lujan (10-6, 3.67 ERA)
Drew Johnson (6-13, 4.07 ERA) vs. Chris Inderrieden (2-2, 7.71 ERA)

We might actually slide around both of New York’s left-handers in this set. We really have not seen many left-handers this season at all…!

The Raccoons made roster moves as Alex Ramirez ended up on the DL for the rest of the season, while Juan Zabala was activated from just there. With the minor league seasons also inches from being over, we put Zabala right back on the active roster.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – C Morales – 1B Goetz – LF Reyna – CF Anderson – RF Balaski – P Mathers
NYC: SS Adame – 1B Rudd – CF Besaw – 2B Nash – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – RF Melendez – LF Riario – P J. Johnson

Tony Morales drove in both Berto and Hunter with a single in the first inning before Art Goetz slapped a ball into a double play to get the ball to the winless rookie Corey Mathers, who also got double plays in the first two innings he pitched, but allowed a run in the second, when Randolph Nash, who opened the inning with a ground-rule double, bouncing over the fence in left, scored on Devin Phillips’ 6-4-3, and the Crusaders tied the game in the third inning, when they got three runners in a row, starting with a single by their pitcher. Joe Besaw singled home Johnson to get the teams even at two.

Mathers got another double play in the fifth, which he began by nailing Alex Adame with a fastball. The young shortstop required replacement with Tyler Miles, who stole second base before Mathers could even walk Tom Rudd. Besaw popped out, and Nash found the 6-4-3 inning-ender. The tie was broken by Miguel Reyna with a solo homer to left in the sixth instead, while in the seventh Goetz grounded out in lame fashion to strand Berto and Morales in scoring position. Mathers was removed after one out in the sixth when left-hander Rich Salek pinch-hit for Johnson. Between Zack Kelly and Pointless Deadline Acquisition #2, the Raccoons shoveled three runners on base and conceded a 2-out RBI single by Besaw off Craig to get the game tied again. Miguel Reyna shrugged and hit another bomb off Mike Gutierrez leading off the eighth. Where was THAT bat all year long?? As threatened, Josh Rella then pitched setup duty in the bottom 8th, conceding a double and having a potential second double snatched by Reyna mid-flight in deep left to end the inning. Whatever works!

Blowing the lead was instead left to Wyatt Hamill, who gave up screamers to Adam Lovett (…!!) and Jose Platero in the bottom 9th, with the latter’s single converting the former’s double into the tying run and sending the game to extra innings. After that, I waived a white handkerchief at our bench, the signal that – if the Coons didn’t take the lead in the top 10th, which they didn’t – we’d put Travis ******* Sims into the game. Ramon Sifuentes hit a leadoff single, but was stranded at third base when Reyna rushed down Jordan Quiroz’ drive in the gap to end the bottom 10th. Jordan who? Sims pitched three scoreless (!) innings, extending the game into infinity with great success. And don’t get any false impressions, either – the Raccoons did not seriously threaten to score a run at any point, never reaching third base in these extras. Brent Clark walked two in the bottom 13th, but Platero flew out to Van Anderson and Besaw hit into another double play to extend the game further. Clark also offered a leadoff walk to Joe Graf in the bottom 14th, but Sifuentes doubled him up, after which, despite the Crusaders’ bloated roster, they were out of pinch-hitters and ex-Coon John Hennessy had to bat for himself while relieving. He grounded out to Cosmo, moving the game to the 15th. Hennessy walked the bags full in the 15th, filling them with Reyna, Ito, and Trawick by the time there were two outs. Then Cosmo struck out… The Raccoons arrived at rookie Jake White in the bottom 15th, who had started in last Monday’s double-header and hadn’t seen action since. He, too, pitched a scoreless inning.

Top 16th, Tony Hunter hit a leadoff single off Mike Lynn. He took off on the 1-1 to Tony Morales, which was knocked to right for a single, putting runners on the corners with nobody out. Art Goetz was ******* 0-for-7 in the game, but we were down to just two bench players in Nickas and Lancaster, which didn’t sound like a winning move with either one. He grounded out ********, only moving Morales to second base. And then – Reyna! Single to center on a 1-2 pitch! Hunter comes across to break the tie! Morales was then stranded feebly by Anderson and Balaski, while White stayed in the game in the bottom 16th. Platero grounded out. Besaw hit a homer to left… (falls face-first into the next guy over’s seventh beer of the game) White walked Sifuentes with two outs, then gave up a double to left Mike Lynn. Bill Melendez flew out to Anderson. (SIGH) Steve Nickas hit a pinch-hit single to begin the 17th, but was doubled up by Trawick. Art Goetz broke his 0-for-8 with a single off Lynn in the 18th, but was left on first base, while Zabala pitched two scoreless. Balaski opened the 19th with a single, then was doubled up by Lancaster, last sod off the bench. And then – Trawick! Homer to left off Lynn!

We were down to two relievers now, of which only Chuck Jones was rested (the other was Zimmerman). He would not face a lefty batter, either, but faced new reliever Chris Wise to begin the bottom 19th! … and nailed him! With a 1-2! Melendez struck out. Quiroz fouled out. Tom Austin singled, whoever the **** he was. Roger Duguay hit a poor roller towards second, Cosmo had to hustle in and wing it bare-handedly to first base and DUGUAY WAS OUT!! The game was over!! Hooray!! 6-5 Raccoons! Trevino 3-10; Morales 4-8, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Reyna 5-7, 2 BB, 2 HR, 3 RBI; Balaski 3-9; de Wit (PH) 1-1; Nickas (PH) 1-1; Sims 3.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K; Clark 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 0 K; Zabala 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K;

THANKS, WYATT.

There were ample recovery replacements on Wednesday – with the exception of Alberto Ramos, who was subbed out for defense that Jake Trawick wouldn’t provide, in regulation, every starter on Tuesday went the entire 19 innings.

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – 1B Reyna – RF Ito – LF de Wit – CF Nettles – SS Nickas – P Moreno
NYC: SS Adame – 1B Rudd – CF Besaw – 3B Sifuentes – RF Melendez – C D. Phillips – 2B Nash – LF Riario – P Inderrieden

While Tom Rudd hit a homer off Moreno in the bottom 1st, the Raccoons’ lineup, which resembled scrambled eggs more closely than a valid major league effort at lining up nine baseball players, managed to score three in the top of the second. Ito and de Wit singled, and Nickas walked to fill the bases. Runs scored on a fielder’s choice grounder by Moreno, a wild pitch, and Berto’s infield single. Kilmer hit a solo jack in the third to extend the lead to 4-1, but Moreno remained a mess, loaded the bases in the bottom of the inning, and allowed one run on Joe Besaw’s 1-out single, and another one on Sifuentes’ sac fly before Bill Melendez popped out. He went on to bunt badly in the fourth inning, forcing out Steve Nickas at second base, which ended up costing the Raccoons a run in that inning, then blew the lead in the bottom of the fourth with two outs, conceding a 2-out triple to Vittorio Riario and an RBI single to Inderrieden…

De Wit, Nettles, and Nickas loaded the bases against a largely ineffective Inderrieden in the fifth inning, all with two outs, and I longed for nothing more than to pull Moreno off the field by one of his fuzzy ears, but the way the pen had bled on Tuesday the move was not advised. Moreno struck out, stranding everybody. The Coons took the lead back in the sixth on Miguel Reyna’s third homer of the series, a 2-piece to right that cashed Cosmo to get to 6-4. Moreno retired six straight after being given back the lead, which would put him just over 100 pitches and would be deemed enough for this contest, but Besaw tagged Tim Zimmerman for a leadoff jack in the bottom 8th to reduce the lead to a skinny run. The Raccoons had left Berto and Cosmo on base in the eighth inning, when the 3-4-5 batters had come up with nothing. They made two more outs in the ninth against Mike Gutierrez before Nickas singled, Hunter walked, and Berto walked the bags full. Then Cosmo flew out to Melendez on the first pitch… We then went to Pointless Deadline Acquisition #2 for the ninth inning. Craig allowed a single, but no runs, and thus spared us more extra innings… 6-5 Raccoons. Ramos 3-4, 2 BB; Trevino 3-5, BB, RBI; Ito 2-4; de Wit 2-5; Nickas 2-3, 2 BB;

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – LF de Wit – SS Hunter – C Morales – 1B Goetz – RF Balaski – CF Nettles – 2B Nickas – P D. Johnson
NYC: SS Adame – 1B Rudd – CF Besaw – 3B Sifuentes – RF Melendez – C D. Phillips – 2B Nash – LF Riario – P Lujan

Tony Hunter’s solo jack gave the Critters the early lead as they made a bid for a 7-game winning streak. Two innings later, the bases were stuffed with the 1-2-3 hitters and nobody out, bringing up Tony Morales. As usual, not a whole lot came out of it, with Morales making it 2-0 with a double play and Goetz flying out to Besaw rather harmlessly. All the lead went bust in the bottom of the inning, when Adame walked and Johnson got double-bombed by Rudd and Besaw, falling behind 3-2.

And with that, offense was about over. The middle innings were entirely uneventful, and the Raccoons took until the eighth inning to reach third base again. Hunter hit a single, stole second, and moved to third on a grounder, and then was stranded there by Goetz and Balaski. Johnson lasted seven innings for the Critters, and Juan Zabala also pitched a scoreless inning, but the Raccoons didn’t make it past a 1-out walk offered to PH Miguel Reyna by Josh Livingston in the ninth inning. Kilmer struck out, and Berto popped out to end the game, and also the winning streak. 3-2 Crusaders. De Wit 2-4; Hunter 2-3, BB, HR, RBI;

Raccoons (74-72) @ Thunder (68-77) – September 13-15, 2041

The Raccoons had already lost the season series, 5-1, against the crummy thunder, who were seventh in runs scored and ninth in runs allowed in the Continental League. They were not exceptionally bad at anything, nor exceptionally good at anything. They were just that: crummy. They *did* have tons of injuries, though, with Juan Ramos, John Marz, Al Martell, Matt Kilgallen, Rick Urfer, Jermaine Campbell, and others all on the DL with various ailments.

The Raccoons meanwhile activated a quickly healed Manny Fernandez from the DL for the weekend set. With the minor league season now over, we also added Angelo Montano to the roster, although he had made a start on Tuesday and would not be available until Sunday.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (10-10, 3.45 ERA) vs. Alan Fleming (12-8, 3.62 ERA)
Josh Brown (14-6, 3.60 ERA) vs. Marty Madera (6-4, 2.90 ERA)
Jake White (0-1, 6.75 ERA) vs. Dan Minelli (7-12, 4.68 ERA)

More right-handers!

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Goetz – CF Anderson – RF Ito – P Chavez
OCT: CF C. Vega – SS Kuhn – C Adames – 1B D. Cruz – 2B M. Lopez – LF E. Moore – RF Zurita – 3B Stedham – P Fleming

Manny Fernandez returned with an RBI single, plating Cosmo with two outs in the top of the first. Bernie gave up extra bases to Miguel Lopez to begin the bottom 2nd, then a sac fly to Angelo Zurita to tie the game again, though. A new lead came about by means of Manny Fernandez, who hit a sac fly to collect Berto, who had fired a double to the fence in rightfield to open the inning. There was just no point to it. Bernie Chavez effortlessly could get rid of ANY lead. Fleming hit a leadoff single (…) in the bottom 3rd, and Carlos Vega rocked a homer to right to flip the score on the Raccoons… The next three Thunder all whacked line drives for hits, with Danny Cruz driving home Jimmy Kuhn to extend their lead to 4-2. Lopez hit into a double play and Ethan Moore struck out, but plenty of damage had been done. Chavez was yanked after the bottom 4th began with a Zurita single, a Jesse Stedham double, and an RBI single by Fleming. Brent Clark replaced him, but conceded a sixth run on a groundout…

Travis Sims was taken for a 2-run homer by Danny Cruz in the bottom 5th, 8-2, while the Raccoons had the bases loaded and one out in the sixth against Fleming when Tony Morales pinch-hit in the #9 hole and chucked the ball into a double play, 6-4-3, killing the rally. It took until the seventh for the Raccoons to scratch out another run, then on a Manny Fernandez sac fly again. Manny didn’t come to bat again, so there were no more Raccoons runs after that, while Chuck Jones and Josh Rella made an end of the Thunder’s scoring rampage. 8-3 Thunder. Ramos 2-3, BB, 2 2B; Trevino 2-4, BB; Fernandez 1-2, 3 RBI; Goetz 2-4; Rella 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

Game 2
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B de Wit – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Goetz – RF Balaski – CF Anderson – P Brown
OCT: CF E. Moore – 3B Stedham – C Adames – 1B D. Cruz – 2B M. Lopez – RF C. Vega – SS Kalinowski – LF J. Moore – P Madera

The Thunder put the first three batters on base on a walk, an infield single, and Brown’s own error. Good start, boys! Cruz hit a sac fly, after which Brown walked Lopez. Vega struck out and Josh Kalinowski flew out to Balaski, though, ending a miserable first inning for only one run scored. The Raccoons then had the bags full to begin the *second* inning, with Morals reaching on Lopez’ error before Goetz and Balaski both singled. Van Anderson rumbled into a run-scoring double play and Brown flew out to left to get only one (unearned) run. Brown allowed two base runners each in the bottom 2nd and 3rd, but the Raccoons actually took the lead on Manny’s solo homer to right in the fourth inning. The inning continued long enough for Brown to come up with two outs and Goetz and Anderson on base, and drop a single near the rightfield line to get Art Goetz in from second base to run the tally to 3-1. Cosmo then popped out to end the inning. The Thunder immediately came back with three hits, including Ethan Moore’s RBI single, off Brown, who just couldn’t get anybody out. Stedham flew out to left and Adames struck out to strand a pair in that inning, too. He loaded the bases in the bottom 5th on three more hits, and got a grimly applied hook after only 4.1 innings and 750 base runners. Zimmerman drilled Jonathan Moore, which was ONE way to tie the ******* ballgame, then fell to 3-0 on Madera, who then in turn spanked into a double play.

Neither of these two teams would make the playoffs without a complete roster turnover, and that was a GOOD thing.

The Coons continued with shenanigans. Art Goetz was picked off first base in the sixth inning after already having forced out Morales. Zack Kelly bunted after Anderson dropped a single to lead off the seventh, but did so badly and got Anderson nipped at second base, then had to run the bases. He advanced on a groundout, then scored on de Wit’s single to right, 4-3, sending the whole of Aruba into a frenzy. But I liked more what they did in the ninth, after four further Coons relievers were barely enough to hold on to the 4-3 lead for a while. In the ninth, recently-disgraced ex-Critter Damon DeOrio walked Balaski and Cosmo, then surrendered the run on a Jeff Kilmer triple with two outs. I liked that! I really liked that! THAT TASTED GOOD! Kilmer was left on base then, but at least Hamill held up for once… 6-3 Raccoons. Kilmer (PH) 1-1, 3B, 2 RBI; Goetz 2-4; Kelly 1.2 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, W (3-0);

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Reyna – 1B Goetz – RF Balaski – C Lancaster – P White
OCT: CF E. Moore – RF Heskett – C Adames – 1B D. Cruz – SS Kuhn – 2B C. Vega – 3B Tormenta – LF J. Moore – P Minelli

While the Raccoons got the lead on an unearned run driven in by Chris Lancaster in the second inning, Jake White substantially exploded in the bottom of the same inning. Carlos Vega tied the game with a 1-out homer before White walked the bases full and allowed two runs on Brian Heskett’s single with two outs. Jesus Adames’ pop ended the inning, and walked Danny Cruz the inning after. Vega hit a single in the inning, and Jonathan Moore bashed a 2-out double to left. Cruz scored, while Manny threw out Vega at home plate to end the inning.

The Raccoons got a chance with the bases loaded, getting Manny and Reyna on base before a Vega error added Goetz, all with nobody out. Balaski flew out poorly, and the Raccoons got only one run (again…) on Lancaster’s groundout. White struck out. White walked Ethan Moore in the bottom 4th. The runner stole second, his 26th of the year, and was sent around for home plate on Adames’ 2-out single to right. Balaski ended the inning in 9-2 fashion this time, keeping the score at 4-2. White wobbled on until Sansao Tormenta singled home Jimmy Kuhn (walk…) with two outs in the bottom 5th, then was yanked. Sims struck out Jonathan Moore to end the inning, after which the Raccoons assigned Montano to long relief, but had the bases loaded with one out in the bottom 6th after allowing singles to Minelli (…!!) and Heskett, plus a walk to Adames. Danny Cruz slapped home another two runs with a ball to left-center before a fielder’s choice and a groundout ended another terrible inning.

The Coons had another unearned run in the seventh; that error was also on Vega, putting Stephon Nettles aboard, while Balaski and Cosmo hit singles, the latter plating the former. Hunter then flew out to strand two in a 7-3 game, only for Montano to cough up another run in the bottom 7th, leading to him not being reinvited for the eighth… But before we could go there, the Raccoons had the bases loaded once more in the eighth inning, with Manny, Balaski, and Van Anderson finding their way on. Nettles batted with two outs, poked at the first baseball in his vicinity, and popped out to the next-best outfielder. Bottom 8th, Juan Zabala began it, packed the bags full on two hits and a single, then was beaten back off the mound by an aggravated pitching coach. Chuck Jones inherited the ****** game, and got out of the inning for the cost of one additional run on a grounder by Vega. Tormenta struck out, Jonathan Moore flew out to left. For good measure, the Thunder’s Bill Dickinson filled the bases in the ninth with one out, walking Berto and Hunter before Manny singled. Reyna struck out. Morales grounded out. Ballgame. 9-3 Thunder. Trevino 2-5, BB; Fernandez 3-4, BB; Balaski 2-4;

In other news

September 10 – The Blue Sox’ 21-year-old rookie CF/RF Jim Price (.292, 6 HR, 46 RBI) hits for the cycle with five hits and two RBI in a 10-4 win over the Buffaloes. Price lands two singles and every other required hit once. He is the eighth cyclist for the Blue Sox, but the first since Juan Espinosa in 2024.
September 13 – Aces OF/1B Ricky Torres (3-for-5, 1 HR, 2 RBI) hits an unearned walkoff single against the Titans’ Darren Brown (0-1, 1.29 ERA) to score the only run in an 11-inning, 1-0 contest.
September 15 – WAS RF/LF Tom Dunlap (.311, 0 HR, 17 RBI) lands his 2,000th base hit, a third-inning pinch-hit single of L.A.’s Joe Feltman. The Caps lose 7-5. The 39-year-old Dunlap won the 2032 CL batting title with the Thunder and was an All Star twice. He has hit .297/.407/.425 for his career with 150 HR and 786 RBI.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 2B/SS Billy Bouldin (.316, 1 HR, 61 RBI), batting .429 (12-28) with 10 RBI
CL Player of the Week: NYC LF/CF Joe Besaw (.316, 16 HR, 104 RBI), swatting .519 (14-27) with 3 HR, 8 RBI

Complaints and stuff

While Manny Fernandez joined the team on the weekend, next week we expect both Jesus Maldonado and Nick Lando back.

Yay, Nick Lando! We’re saved!

With our run differential down to -69 now, but our record still hugging .500, we have two weeks left to this snoozey season. We will come home now for the last homestand, hosting the Condors (with another double header on Monday) and Titans, then go out on the road again to face the Loggers and Indians. That will be it. Then our pains are over for the year.

Fun Fact: We are eight games over our pythagorean record by now.

Just shows how crummy the team has *actually* been. If you felt this team should have been heading for 90 losses at this point, you are not that far off. Somehow, we went 34-24 in 1-run games despite a ****** pen, and 16-3 in extra innings, which defies explanation entirely.

[Sizeman21]

Well atleast you have 4th safely secured for the season...here's a winners medal...the Raccoons thoroughly deserve it!