Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[DD Martin]

One big trade looks like it has turned around the whole off-season. Now maybe we can see significant baseball in Portland after Memorial Day once again.

[UltimateAverageGuy]

A pitching and hitting player of the year, in the same deal? The Raccoons mean business I hope there are season tickets available

[Westheim]

I know, Cristiano, I know, people are really racing to get season tickets this year. How are the numbers? – Why that dip in sales? – What do you mean, we ran out of season tickets?? We only sold ten-thousand so far! – Oh, *that*…!

(turns to Chad, who is coloring with crayons on the desk while wearing the mascot outfit) Chad, we need those season tickets more quicker!!

+++

The Raccoons hung back after taking on about $4M in additional salary in the Willett/Cortes trade – by necessity. The coffers were largely depleted, and we were playing with our cash reserves already. Thanks, Nick.

That didn’t mean we were done with the offseason; the bullpen looked sort of wonky, and as far as infield backups were concerned, there was certainly room for improvements. With some form of Maldo, Berto, and Cortes on the corners, Hunter at short, and Cosmo maybe at second and maybe on the DL or in AAA rehab to start the season… maybe… (looks over to Cosmo, who’s been lying face down in the bowl of steaks for a few months) …we were out of our wits when it came to backups. Those looked a whole lot like an assembly from Goetz, Lando, and Nickas. The latter was probably winning an Opening Day job by default, since apart from Maldonado we had no other backup for short, and Lando then also won a spot by default as long as Cosmo was *not* ready to go, and maybe even if he was ready. Yes, there was Jay de Wit, and Aruba was all eyes for him, but … eh…!

In the pen it looked like not two, not three, but FOUR left-handers: Hamill, Clark, Jones, and Kelly. The right side would comprise Ramirez, Craig, and Rella, which was wonky in itself. Now, Wyatt Hamill was the closer, so he didn’t *really* count, and then there was the thing with splits. Brent Clark and Zack Kelly in fact had very balanced splits (but not Chuck Jones, who had to be kept away from right-handers if at all possible).

Serious alternatives in AAA? Well, for second base there was Arturo Carreno, hot topic prospect, but he had hit .245/.329/.338 for the Alley Cats last year (and .286/.351/.488 in 22 games in Ham Lake), so more seasoning was prescribed for him. All signs were green for the boy’s future – he was drawing his walks, he landed 32 extra-base hits in AAA, and he stole 22 bags, and he was a plus defender … but not quite yet.

Looking for a right-handed pitcher in AAA was somewhat fruitless. I mean, there were some, but … oy. Ignoring starters Jason Wheatley (not ready) and Jake White (never gonna be), there were five more right-handers currently listed on the AAA roster. This included career catastrophe Travis Sims and failed starter Cory Lambert, who had been knocked around loudly for a few games in ’40. The other three were youngsters (Matt Balling, Alexis Cortes, Julio Vasquez – in order a sixth-rounder, a $22k July IFA investment, and a trash heap pickup), who had all walked more batters than they had struck out in their sometimes brief tenures in AAA.

So how would trading work? Ideally we’d shed salary to have some wiggle room at the deadline, but it wasn’t trivial to find something to cut loose here. The $375k given to Nettles increasingly became a millstone, and by now I wished we hadn’t given $400k to a 21-year-old Japanese first baseman that would be assigned to Ham Lake. All we could really trade was minimum for minimum unless somebody would buy into the just-over-minimum deals with Lambert and outfielder Alex Castro, who both were having careers that couldn’t be more dead if you dissolved the players in acid.

…which, fun fact, wouldn’t absolve us from paying out those salaries to their families. (strikes through something on his clipboard) Thanks, Dr. Rosenbusch, for your legal advice. (nods to lawyer opposite him at the desk, who is holding out a hand requesting compensation) Uh. Do you need money for that, Dr., or would you accept a season ticket in lieu of …? – CHAD, DRAW QUICKER!!!

+++

January 1 – The Rebels add ex-NAS CL Alex Banderas (44-63, 3.98 ERA, 296 SV) to a 3-yr, $2.94M contract.
January 2 – The Raccoons sign former Wolves minor leaguer INF/LF Omar Gutierrez, 27, to a $300k contract. Gutierrez has never played in the major leagues before.
January 4 – New York adds on ex-SFW CL Andy Hyden (64-61, 2.88 ERA, 410 SV) for 2-yr, $4.08M.
January 6 – The Condors ink former Raccoons catcher Tony Morales (.270, 68 HR, 359 RBI) to a 6-yr, $13.74M contract. The Raccoons receive a supplemental round pick.
January 6 – The Pacifics take on veteran 3B Nick Rozenboom (.272, 162 HR, 759 RBI) on a 1-yr, $1.22M contract. The 37-year-old spent ’41 with the Condors.
January 28 – Settling in with the Warriors is former Cyclones SP Brandon Nickerson (183-163, 3.63 ERA). The 38-year-old right-hander signs a 2-yr, $7.68M contract.

+++

Yes, look, the alternative was Steve Nickas, and I have an aversion to Steve Nickas. I was already on the phone with Nick Valdes, who noticed we went into the red with our budget. I adviced him that he could always give us more money to solve the situation, which was met with a tooting in the line.

Those Valdeses! They never change!!

Tony Morales signed the fourth-biggest contract of the offseason at that point, behind abortively pursued starting pitchers Corey Booth and Al Scott as well as outfielder Melvin Hernandez, whom the damn Elks signed. I am by the way delighted about the Hernandez signing by Elk City. All lamps on the scouting report are bright red and the alarm is honking with Hernandez, who’s not even 32 and already a defensive burden on a Berto scale. (Berto looks up from his ice cream bowl with open, vanilla-smeared and -filled snout) – What? – We love you Berto, but how about a ******* SALAD ONCE IN A WHILE??

Other homeless Critters sneaking into an attic? Terry Garrigan got $660k from the Gold Sox; Doug Levis signed with the Caps for $550k; Ed Hooge was with the Titans now, netting $332k;

+++

2042 HALL OF FAME VOTING RESULTS

Two new players were inducted into the Hall of Fame this year.

Elected on his first ballot was 5-time Pitcher of the Year and once Reliever of the Year Jorge Beltran, who spent all of his career in the Federal League with the Wolves, for whom he was inducted, Capitals, and Pacifics, with the latter of which he won his two championships in 2030 and 2032, while he won two-and-a-half Pitcher of the Year awards each with the Wolves (2024, 2025, 2027) and Capitals (2027-29). He led the league in ERA and strikeouts one each, and in pitcher WAR for seven years in a row from 2024 through 2030, but started and finished his 17-year career as a reliever. Overall he went 174-117 with a 2.90 ERA and 47 SV in a career spanning 587 games (359 starts), striking out 2,291 batters in 2,785 innings.*

Third baseman Eddie Moreno spent most of his career with the Cyclones before making a tour five five stops in the Continenal League in the later years of his 16-year tenure in the majors. The 2020 Player of the Year, Moreno led the FL in hits three times and in RBI twice, but never won a batting title despite a career best batting average of .360 in ’21. Despite that frequent hitting stick and a penchant for doubles and homers that also saw him hit for 50+ extra-base hits with ease, he also never led the league in slugging, but was consistently strong, hitting for a 118+ OPS+ for 12 straight seasons, and usually in the 130s. He finished his career hitting .317/.367/.469 with 175 HR and 1,062 RBI. He stole 81 bases and made six All Star teams and took home five Platinum Sticks.

Full voting results:
SAL SP Jorge Beltran – 1st – 88.9 – INDUCTED
CIN 3B Eddie Moreno – 7th – 83.3 – INDUCTED
MIL SP Chris Sinkhorn – 4th – 64.7
??? CL Jarrod Morrison – 10th – 29.8 – DROPPED
SFW SS Jamie Wilson – 7th – 21.0
PIT C J.J. Henley – 2nd – 16.7
??? SP Ian Van Meter – 10th – 13.1 – DROPPED
WAS C David Lessman – 1st – 11.9
SFW C Mike Thompson – 2nd – 9.5
WAS 2B Dave Menth – 1st – 7.9
LAP SP Ernest Green – 9th – 7.9
??? SP Tommy Weintraub – 1st – 6.0
TOP CL Mike Baker – 5th – 5.6
PIT SP Jonas Mejia – 1st – 4.4 – DROPPED
??? SP Jeff Dykstra – 1st – 3.6 – DROPPED
LVA LF Danny Serrano – 1st – 3.2 – DROPPED
CHA 1B Pat Fowlkes – 2nd – 2.8 – DROPPED
PIT CF Carlos de la Riva – 1st – 2.4 – DROPPED
LAP SP Gavin Lee – 1st – 1.2 – DROPPED
PIT MR Nick Salinas – 2nd – 0.8 – DROPPED

*A Jonny Toner type of selection, not that there is anything bad about that. (cough!)

[Archelirion]

The fact that Ed Hooge can earn $330k doing anything related to baseball is quite inspiring, I think.

[Westheim]

Yes, he can't hit left-handers for his dear grandma's life, but apart from that I always thought he grades as servicable fourth outfielder. I think someone's due an apology.

(Of course the guy that just wrote this is the main reason Ed Hooge was the fourth outfielder on some Raccoons teams that never won anything.)

[Archelirion]

Hmm, only 2 sub-100 OPS+ seasons for the Critters in 8 years. I'm sorry Mr. Hooge, the years have not been kind on my memory of you.

[Westheim]

Never say nothing interesting happens in February. Just before the end of the month, the Knights offered up Brad Santry, the reigning CL Pitcher of the Year (!), and ex-Coons lefty David Fernandez. Granted, we had no use for another lefty reliever, but those things could be subject to negotiation. Also, the price was rather steep – Jesus Maldonado and Matt Waters.

No way. We need Maldo. And we already had fortified the rotation. I mean, would I take Santry over Mathers? ABSOLUTELY. But we can’t plunk Berto back in at third base – we loaded up on groundballers… and we didn’t get any other third baseman.

The Blue Sox also got in on the comedy, offering Cory Cronk (remember that guy?) for Art Goetz … and Matt Waters.

You know, sometimes a prospect isn’t exactly killing the ball in the minors, but when you get five phone calls about him every day you get a hunch that he’s gonna break out sooner or later. Cronk, by the way, hit .215 with five homers last season. No thanks.

Goetz and Waters was also the preferred package for the Buffaloes in an offer of RF/LF Benito Mendoza, who you will have never heard of, because he has never played above AA at age 25. The Thunder also made the same offer with Jesse Stedham rejoining the Critters.

Moments like these are assuring for me, because they make me realize time and again that I am not the only GM habitually drinking himself senseless.

Or some sort of in-joke and they’re dissing me.

+++

February 6 – The Stars sign ex-POR SP Bernie Chavez (109-103, 3.73 ERA, 1 SV) to a 1-yr, $1.72M contract. The Raccoons receive a supplemental round pick for compensation.
February 14 – The Titans pick up 1B/2B James Arnett (.269, 10 HR, 42 RBI) from the Condors for the washed-up remains of SP/MR Andy Bressner (163-117, 3.46 ERA, 1 SV), who was the 2036 Pitcher of the Year, but pitched to an 8.16 ERA in relief last year and is in the final year of his contract.
February 25 – The Miners grab RF/1B/LF John Marz (.279, 99 HR, 450 RBI), coming off the Thunder’s roster. Marz, 28, will make $7.06M over three years.
March 19 – The Scorpions add former Stars 2B/SS Oscar Aguirre (.226, 77 HR, 495 RBI) on a 2-year deal worth $3.72M.
March 25 – Atlanta acquires outfielder Justin Kristoff (.289, 19 HR, 109 RBI) from the Wolves for LF/CF/1B/SS Luis Inoa (.271, 131 HR, 633 RBI) and a prospect.

+++

By the time Bernie signed and gave the Raccoons their final supplemental round pick, we’d have four picks in the first 41 of the ’42 draft, but of course with ample of preseason to go and players still signing.

Former Critters with new surroundings: Dave Myers joined the Caps on a $426k deal; Gilberto Rendon will make $560k with the Buffaloes; Rafael Zacarias hitched his wagon to the Wolves’ for $356k; Danny Monge was back with New York for $380k;

[Westheim]

2042 PORTLAND RACCOONS – Opening Day Roster (first set in parenthesis shows 2041 stats, second set career stats; players with an * are off season acquisitions):

SP Rich Willett *, 32, B:R, T:R (13-7, 2.65 ERA | 128-84, 3.01 ERA, 2 SV) – stolen from Sacramento with Carlos Cortes, Willett was the Titans’ ace for so long that I will take a while to like him. Throws 95 with a strong curve and a poisonous slide piece. Can challenge for 200 strikeouts and led the league in strikeouts once.
SP Josh Brown, 29, B:L, T:L (15-6, 3.67 ERA | 50-31, 3.61 ERA) – acquired from the Crusaders prior to 2041, Brown has a rich mix of pitches to keep hitters guessing, and them guessing wrong is a key part to success for him, because his 93mph fastball alone is not too overwhelming. Keeps it on the ground; given the arthritic infield defense the Raccoons had lined up his success was ultimately limited.
SP Jake Jackson *, 29, B:R, T:R (11-16, 3.63 ERA | 36-51, 3.75 ERA) – groundballer with three good pitches, including a 95mph fastball, imported from the dead-end Indians. If there is any concern with Jackson, it’s bouts of ill control – he’s been pushing for 100 walks in a season regularly.
SP Nelson Moreno, 23, B:R, T:R (13-11, 4.57 ERA | 19-18, 4.13 ERA) – let’s call it a sophomore swoon! Heater (98) and knuckle curve are awesome, still working on the third and fourth pitch, and under live fire. We pretend the sky’s STILL the limit for this Venezuelan gem, although many things just didn’t work for him in ’41. The .317 BABIP also didn’t help.
SP Corey Mathers, 23, B:R, T:R (3-4, 2.39 ERA | 3-4, 2.39 ERA) – this year’s random fifth starter that never fares well (or long…) is Mathers, the #20 pick in 2039 that rose quickly to the majors and jumped into one of the many holes in the rotation late last year. He made 10 fine starts and hung around for Opening Day. Mix of four pitches, groundballer, 93mph fastball.

MR Chuck Jones, 30, B:L, T:L (6-2, 2.51 ERA, 1 SV | 17-10, 3.12 ERA, 9 SV) – this southpaw should be kept away from right-handed bats, which his previous employers, the Scorpions, decidedly didn’t do. Very good numbers against lefty bats for Jones, who throws 92 and keeps it on the ground.
MR Zack Kelly, 26, B:L, T:L (3-0, 2.28 ERA | 3-0, 2.28 ERA) – left-handed sophomore with balanced splits, throws 96 with a nasty curve to complement it. Also has a crummy changeup and made a couple of spot starts, and while he fared alright, he’s not exactly pencilled in for starting pitcher duties in the long run.
MR Josh Rella, 25, B:R, T:R (1-0, 4.82 ERA | 1-0, 4.82 ERA) – struggled with control in several brief cameos last year, which wasn’t something we saw of him in the minors. Throws 96 with a slider; was originally drafted as an infielder and converted into a pitcher afterwards. In theory a good long reliever because you can let him bat for himself, but given four left-handers in the pen, we’d probably use Clark or Kelly for long relief instead.
MR Jon Craig, 27, B:R, T:R (2-2, 3.27 ERA, 3 SV | 6-2, 3.37 ERA, 4 SV) – right-hander with basic competence that was the Pointless Deadline Acquisition #2 in 2041, when the Coons were *** half-in, *** half-out in the second half of July. Craig (and Terry Garrigan) came, one stayed, one went, and the Raccoons backed their ***** out of the door pretty quick in August.
MR Brent Clark, 27, B:L, T:L (4-3, 3.82 ERA | 8-10, 3.82 ERA, 8 SV) – some say he should start, I say he definitely shouldn’t close; even in standard relief, Brent Clark manages to walk five batters per nine innings, and is thus best kept in the bullpen to as low a profile as possible.
SU Alex Ramirez, 33, B:R, T:R (5-1, 1.31 ERA, 5 SV | 10-5, 1.75 ERA, 11 SV) – was dominant at times in his second year in the majors after coming out of Cuba. No notes for Ramirez – just keep being good!
CL Wyatt Hamill, 35, B:L, T:L (3-5, 2.02 ERA, 37 SV | 41-38, 3.12 ERA, 157 SV) – former Titans stalwart that was acquired from the dying Thunder in May, pitched to a 1.65 ERA for the Coons, saving 24 games for a team that went nowhere. Not a groundballer, which is rare on this roster, and gave up six homers (but only 15 earned runs) last year. 93mph fastball with a devastating slider to get rid of pesky hitters.

C Jeff Kilmer, 30, B:R, T:R (.274, 9 HR, 46 RBI | .272, 55 HR, 246 RBI) – now here was a kid that we were happy for not having drowned in a barrel when it looked like that was all that could end his misery anymore. Unfortunately he didn’t build on that .949 OPS season from ’39 and instead merely posted his fourth .800+ season in a row. None of those were qualifying seasons, given the liberal time-sharing agreement with Tony Morales behind the dish, which saw both of them contend roughly half the games. With Morales gone, Kilmer is now the full #1, especially with backup Jeff Wilson also batting righty.
C/1B Jeff Wilson *, 29, B:R, T:R (.233, 13 HR, 79 RBI | .272, 52 HR, 297 RBI) – decent backstop (but not great behind th dish), who was a Raccoons draft pick before being shipped out for Troy Greenway. Had one strong year with the Gold Sox in ’39, but is a 98 OPS+ player for his career.

RF/LF/1B Carlos Cortes *, 31, B:R, T:R (.272, 14 HR, 82 RBI | .298, 140 HR, 678 RBI) – stolen from the Scorpions with Rich Willett, Cortes is a former Player of the Year that can man three corners and will see action both in rightfield and first base with the Raccoons. Had an off year with Sacramento last year after hitting 28 bombs in ‘40, and a player option for ’43.
1B Alberto Ramos, 36, B:L, T:R (.297, 0 HR, 41 RBI | .300, 20 HR, 679 RBI) – 18th-year Critter, who while he remains a formidable OBP force, hasn’t hit a home run since ’34, but was a 100 OPS+ hitter for the first time in many years in 2041, reaching base at a .393 rate. Nevertheless, age and fat has caught up with him, he’s up to 260 pounds, and he can barely field any position anymore. Since he’s snuck in through the arbitration door, the Raccoons will mostly employ him at first base this year in an uncomfortable time-sharing agreement with Cortes and whoever outfielder feels slighted when Cortes plays in right.
SS Tony Hunter, 29, B:S, T:R (.278, 7 HR, 52 RBI | .258, 20 HR, 162 RBI) – slick shortstop acquired from the Gold Sox in a trade, replacing Elijah Williams, who was getting older and slower and less rangier. Put together a really good year in his second Critters season and has made a strong case to stick in that #2 hole. Also won a stolen base title while he was at it, sweeping 41 in ‘41.
1B/RF/3B/CF/SS/LF Jesus Maldonado, 28, B:R, T:R (.308, 9 HR, 53 RBI | .285, 48 HR, 327 RBI) – It’s hard to forget this one: .411/.431/.571 and a 2037 World Series MVP award while playing on the losing team. If you can get THAT together, you must at least make it to the All Star Game at some point, don’t you? So far no luck for Maldonado in that regard, but at least he is now a regular above-average hitter and hit for an .880 OPS in ’40, and .845 in ‘41. Very versatile, which is his undoing, since he could probably win a Gold Glove in centerfield if he wasn’t plugging holes elsewhere all the time. This year he’ll be shoved into the hole at third base to keep things tight there. Maybe that will get him into the All Star Game as an infielder…
2B Nick Lando, 26, B:R, T:R (.198, 0 HR, 9 RBI | .201, 0 HR, 12 RBI) – a nothing infielder that was taken in the third round a few years back. With Cosmo not ready for Opening Day, Lando and Omar Gutierrez will split second base duties for the month of April, giving him a chance to cement his status as one of the worst Raccoons hitters of all time.
2B/3B/SS/LF Omar Gutierrez *, 27, B:L, T:R (no stats) – versatile lefty-hitting infielder that never made the majors in a stuffed Wolves organization and was signed for cheap. With Cosmo out for a month, he figures to get a chunk of at-bats at second base. All he has to do to hang on is to out-hit Nick Lando.
2B/3B/SS/LF Steve Nickas, 28, B:S, T:R (.241, 0 HR, 7 RBI | .213, 1 HR, 22 RBI) – defensively versatile, not hitting a damn lick for a somehow 6-year career (with 314 total at-bats); he won a roster spot over Van Anderson mainly because he is out of options and once the Raccoons will tire of their second base platoon they might still want to hang with Nickas.

LF/RF/CF Manny Fernandez, 32, B:L, T:L (.265, 20 HR, 89 RBI | .285, 130 HR, 740 RBI) – as close to a 5-tool player as the Raccoons could ever find, especially in a draft. 2036 Player of the Year! Also won an RBI title in 2040, which totally saved our season (not). A trade for sterling prospects did not materialize this winter just like the winter and summer preceding it, so we just loaded up and see whether we can get a ring on Manny’s paw after all. He deserves one...
LF/RF/CF Tony Romero *, 29, B:R, T:R (.251, 20 HR, 74 RBI | .234, 65 HR, 292 RBI) – solid defender on all positions, figures to be the main centerfielder for the Coons, although he is a bit of an all-or-nothing hitter that only reached a 100+ OPS+ for the first time last year before being fleeced from the Capitals. One of many upcoming free agents on the roster.
LF/RF/CF/1B Miguel Reyna, 31, B:L, T:L (.266, 6 HR, 31 RBI | .257, 56 HR, 387 RBI) – Nicaraguan left-handed hitter that was picked up from the Bayhawks and was almost axed after a rough first quarter, but refused the minor league assignment and the Coons balked at paying out $3M to him. Had a very good second half and figures to share time with Berto, with Cortes warping back and forth between first and right.
3B/LF/2B Jay de Wit, 25, B:S, T:R (.386, 1 HR, 8 RBI | .267, 1 HR, 10 RBI) – Aruba’s Finest makes the roster as sort of a backup outfielder, although he’s more like a third baseman… well, we can still shift Maldonado to any outfield position… I promise, somebody had a plan about all of this. Maybe it was Chad, though.

On disabled list:
2B/3B Enrique Trevino, 34, B:S, T:R (.280, 1 HR, 38 RBI | .319, 42 HR, 862 RBI) – Hasn’t aged too well (as his broken hip will attest to), and is now a modest defender with diminished speed and a ginormous contract (which runs only through the end of this season). But he can still get those clutch singles and can be valuable in both the #2 and #6 holes. Starts season on DL and is assumed to exhaust a full 20-day rehab stint in AAA when he comes off the DL after a week or so, so he is no going to rejoin the team until the end of the month / start of May.

Otherwise unavailable: Nobody.

Other roster movement:
SP Angelo Montano, 24, B:L, T:L (2-6, 5.17 ERA | 7-14, 5.42 ERA) – waived and DFA’ed; struggling with control and getting bombed, Montano had a rough time in 30 outings (25 starts) across two partial seasons with the Raccoons. He is also out of options, and while we hate to dangle an almost 25-year-old scratch starting pitcher, the nature of the bullpen prevents us from stashing him there.
1B Art Goetz, 26, B:L, T:R (.260, 6 HR, 24 RBI | .240, 6 HR, 24 RBI) – optioned to AAA; substandard first baseman of the sort that has been standard-issue for the Raccoons for years and years at this point.
RF/CF/LF Van Anderson, 24, B:L, T:L (.254, 0 HR, 4 RBI | .254, 0 HR, 4 RBI) – optioned to AAA; kind of a ho-hum player, that does everything alright, but doesn’t have a niche in which he excels.
RF/CF/LF Stephon Nettles, 27, B:L, T:R (.197, 0 HR, 10 RBI | .254, 1 HR, 88 RBI) – optioned to AAA; strong defensive centerfielder who is hitting in such a light fashion, even Nick Lando bested him in terms of OPS. NICK LANDO.

Everybody not mentioned by now has already been waived or reassigned during the offseason.

OPENING DAY LINEUP:

Not a shabby lineup this year, although we will not even fully exploit our chances when it comes to switch-hitters and platoons, because Carlos Cortes, a righty batter, figures to play every day, sharing time with two left-handed batters (Berto, Reyna). Reyna could also spell Romero in center against righty batters.

Vs. RHP: 1B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Cortes – C Kilmer – CF Romero – 2B Gutierrez – P
(Vs. LHP: 1B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Cortes – C Kilmer – CF Romero – 2B Lando – P)

If Reyna plays rather than Berto, Romero could bat leadoff. Hunter is also not a terrible idea. And Cosmo will come back at SOME point. Maybe.

OFF SEASON CHANGES:

According to BNN, the Raccoons won the offseason, gaining 7.1 WAR, which wouldn’t quite make up the gap to the Loggers (the Loggers!), but then again, WAR is a useless stat. We shed 6.5 WAR in free agent departures (half of which was Tony Morales), but added about as much in the deal for Willett and Cortes.

Top 5: Raccoons (+7.1), Falcons (+5.5), Condors (+5.3), Crusaders (+5.2), Thunder (+4.7)
Bottom 5: Stars (-4.9), Warriors (-5.2), Rebels (-9.1), Scorpions (-9.5), Miners (-10.5)

The Loggers stayed put (13th, +0.2), while the damn Elks sagged a bit (16th, -3.4).

PREDICTION TIME:

We weren’t far off my assessment of another “oh man…” season, winning 85 games (rather than 82 as put down), but with a ravenous negative run differential.

Things will totally be better this year. The black hole at third base has been stuffed, and the rotation got some real gems inserted. Cortes also isn’t lousy. The Raccoons have a genuine shot at the division this year but it might be tight. We can’t afford many injuries. And the rotation could actually hold together for once…

The Raccoons will be in the race, and will win the division or maybe not. But 93 wins don’t sound outrageous.

PLAYER DEVELOPMENT:

We had the top farm last year after loading up on youth for a while. We had a full dozen ranked prospects, including ten in the top 100 and six in the top 50. And while those numbers largely held up, we still dropped to 2nd place among the 24 franchises.

Well, the in memoriam bit of Coons prospects-no-more: #81 Josh Rella, #106 Corey Mathers, and #155 Zack Kelly all exceeded rookie limits (and Kelly would have been 26 anyway), while #87 Mario Coto was traded to Sacramento. No players that were ranked last year lost their ranking while still technically being Raccoons prospects.

13th (+2) – AA INF Matt Waters, 21 – 2039 first-round pick by Knights, acquired from Knights with Jason Wheatley for Ryan Bedrosian, Rico Sanchez, Brad Ledford, Willie Morales
14th (-2) – AA SP Tony Negrete, 19 – 2038 international free agent signed by Raccoons
24th (+2) – AAA SP Jason Wheatley, 21 – 2038 supplemental round pick by Knights, acquired from Knights with Matt Waters for Ryan Bedrosian, Rico Sanchez, Brad Ledford, Willie Morales
30th (-20) – AAA LF/RF Sandy Casaus, 25 – 2033 scouting discovery by Wolves, acquired from Wolves for Troy Greenway
47th (-2) – AAA SP Victor Merino, 21 – 2039 international free agent signed by Raccoons

56th (-25) – AA SP Jose Arias, 20 – 2038 international free agent signed by Raccoons
61st (new) – A SP Bubba Wolinsky, 19 – 2041 first-round pick by Raccoons
63rd (-1) – AA SP Adam Capone, 22 – 2040 first-round pick by Raccoons
90th (new) – A RF Brian Shedd, 19 – 2041 second-round pick by Raccoons

119th (-48) – A C Ruben Gonzalez, 20 – 2038 international free agent by Raccoons
165th (new) – A LF/RF Roberto Medina, 20 – 2038 scouting discovery by Raccoons
166th (new) – AA OF Matt Sowden, 21 – 2038 third-round pick by Raccoons
180th (new) – AA LF/2B/CF Ben Southall, 23 – 2037 sixth-round pick by Raccoons

That is 13 ranked players, of which nine are in the top 100, and a whole pawful in the top 50!

The top 10 overall prospects this year are:

1st (+5) – SFW AAA LF/RF Mario Villa, 21
2nd (+6) – DEN AA INF Ivan Villa, 20
3rd (new) – WAS AAA SP John Snider, 25
4th (0) – NAS AAA 1B Alejandro Ramos, 22
5th (+6) – RIC ML OF Alvin Aguilera, 21

6th (new) – DEN A UT Eric Miller, 20 (newly drafted)
7th (new) – SFB A C Sean Suggs, 19 (newly drafted)
8th (+1) – DAL AAA SP Chris Davis, 21
9th (new) – TIJ A SP Kevin Daley, 19 (newly drafted)
10th (new) – RIC AA SP Zach Tubbs, 21

Snider was a fourth-rounder in ’39 that was never ranked before now and actually pitched in relief in ’41. Tubbs was also taken in the 2039 draft and was never ranked before.

The top 2 from last year (RIC LF/RF Pablo Gonzalez; NYC SP Paul Paris) moved to the majors with mild success. #3, the Pacifics’ LF/RF Billy Slingluff moved up to AAA, but down to #11 on the prospect list. He is one spot ahead of the new #12, former #5 prospect SP Kevin Nolte on the Baybirds, who is also up to AAA.

The last two top 10 members from last year, #7 CHA SP Emmanuel Lizarraga and #10 POR LF/RF Sandy Casaus, both dropped 20 spots without getting out of AAA. Lizarraga is also up there in age, now 24 years old.

Next: first pitch.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (0-0) @ Canadiens (0-0) – April 7-9, 2042

And then all that was left was to send the boys off to war. Maybe they’d be back home by Christmas! Knowing our luck in the frozen wasteland of the polar circle, though, they’d be frostbitten and shelled, and I wouldn’t see half of them again. The damn Elks had been disappointed in ’41 by their frequent loss of their best players onto the DL, with Dan Schneller and Jerry Outram hardly ever facing the Raccoons. No such issues in the season opener. We had won the season series, 10-8, last year, and it would take a performance at least that good to compete in the division.

Projected matchups:
Rich Willett (0-0) vs. Matt Sealock (0-0)
Josh Brown (0-0) vs. Mike Mihalik (0-0)
Jake Jackson (0-0) vs. David Arias (0-0)

Only right-handers scheduled here, except for the Critters’ Josh Brown.

Game 1
POR: 1B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Cortes – C Kilmer – CF Romero – 2B Gutierrez – P Willett
VAN: 3B Becker – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – LF M. Hernandez – 1B J. Lopez – SS R. Johnston – RF V. Vazquez – P Sealock

Justin Becker singled to right, moved up a couple of times, and scored on Dan Schneller’s single for a quick first-inning deficit. Oh the times of Nick Brown and Kisho Saito, when there was always a chance for a shutout on Opening Day! Gone with the wind! (dramatically clamors to nobody but Honeypaws) The Raccoons had little cooking the first time through, with a Hunter single in the first and the first major league hit for Omar Gutierrez, a leadoff single in the third inning. He didn’t even get off first base, with Willett failing to get a bunt down, Berto popping out, and Hunter rolling out to Schneller. Tony Romero hit a leadoff single in the fifth, stole a base, and was otherwise just as much deserted by the rest of the team, remaining on second base for the duration of the inning. Willett meanwhile pitched decently enough, allowing five hits and whiffing as many through five innings, while hoping for some sort of support from the other Brownshirts. Manny Fernandez singled in the sixth, was stranded, and instead the damn Elks got singles from Outram and Schneller, a Melvin Hernandez sac fly, and an RBI double from Johnny Lopez in the bottom of the inning. That ran the score to 3-0, and it all felt very much like ballgame at that point. When Kilmer and Gutierrez hit TWO singles in the SAME inning in the top 7th (what novel concept!), Miguel Reyna pinch-hit for Willett to generate some offense, but popped out. Instead, Berto dropped an RBI single with two outs, getting the so far dim Critters finally on the board. The Elks hung with Sealock for one more pitch, which Hunter put into center for another RBI single, 3-2. Left-hander John Roeder replaced Sealock, while the Raccoons twitched their whiskers and sent Jeff Wilson to bat for Manny Fernandez. He struck out. Instead, Timóteo Clemente took Brent Clark deep in the bottom of the eighth, restoring a 2-run gap for Josh Boles, ex-Coon and left-hander. The Raccoons remained listless and only reached when Reyna got plunked with two outs. Berto then popped out. 4-2 Canadiens. Hunter 2-4, RBI; Gutierrez 2-3;

Well. That sucked.

Game 2
POR: 1B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Cortes – C Kilmer – CF Romero – 2B Gutierrez – P Brown
VAN: LF Becker – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – SS R. Johnston – 3B R. Ashley – P Mihalik

Justin Becker doubled over Carlos Cortes and was singled home by Clemente in the bottom 3rd for the first run on Tuesday, while the Raccoons’ general futility seemed to continue unabated. Kilmer hit a leadoff single in the second and was doubled off. Manny hit a leadoff single in the fourth and was left to rot on first base. Instead, Brown offered a leadoff walk to Johnny Lopez in the bottom 4th, then conceded the run on a single by the ******* opposing pitcher to fall 2-0 behind. And it damn certain smelled like ballgame yet again…

Like Willett, Brown was done after six innings, but not without allowing a 2-run homer to Schneller to put the game out of the limited reach of chubby furballs with tiny paws. Top 7th, Romero and Gutierrez (who began his career 4-for-5) hit singles to reach the corners with nobody out. Reyna pinch-hit again and walked on four pitches, filling the bags with nobody out, which was GUARANTEEING a loss … except that Berto ripped a ball through Lopez for a 2-run double, shifting the tying runs into scoring position. Hunter’s groundout brought home Reyna, but Ramos had to hold, and then was stranded on third base after two flyouts by Manny and Maldo. For sure, the damn Elks tacked on a run with a homer off a reliever expected to do better things, but Chuck Jones still hung one to switch-hitter Johnny Lopez in the eighth.

Boles was called out to do the honors again in the ninth inning, but gave up leadoff singles to Reyna in the #9 hole and the pinch-hitting Jay de Wit in the #1 spot, vacated after a double switch. Aruba was flying the flag as high as possible, with their major league representative now the tying run with nobody out. Boles then stuffed the bags with a full-count walk to Hunter, entering the Raccoons into the three on, no outs danger zone. Manny promptly struck out. Maldo grounded up the middle, with the ball misplaced in translation at second base, but Hunter was out on the tap anyway – the Coons just didn’t end in a double play. Cortes, 1-for-8 to start his Raccoons days, found the tying and go-ahead runs on the corners… and grounded out to Ryan Johnston. 5-4 Canadiens. De Wit (PH) 1-1; Fernandez 2-5; Gutierrez 2-2, BB; Reyna (PH) 1-1, BB;

Game 3
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 1B Cortes – RF Reyna – C Kilmer – 2B Gutierrez – P Jackson
VAN: 3B Becker – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – LF M. Hernandez – 1B J. Lopez – SS R. Johnston – RF V. Vazquez – P D. Arias

When the Raccoons FINALLY ******* took a lead in the new season in the second inning of the Wednesday game, it was Omar Gutierrez singling to center to score Carlos Cortes. The damn Elks’ manager was on camera pointing to Gutierrez on the field and asking his bench coach, mouthing “Who the **** is he again?” … or at least that was what Honeypaws claimed to lip-read. The run was also unearned, but I wasn’t going to count the number of peas in that pot…

While the Raccoons got 1-out singles from Hunter and Manny, both to left, in the third inning, Maldonado killed it all with a double play grounder. That one went to short. Jackson meanwhile retired eight in a row in his Raccoons debut until he yielded a single to the ******* opposing pitcher, and I immediately felt doom creeping up on me. Sure enough, Justin Becker singled. Clemente walked. Bases loaded. Jerry Outram hit a fly to right. Going. Going. Of ******* course it was outta here.

Down 4-1 after the slam, the Raccoons apparently resolved to become better persons rather than playing better baseball, because the next thing of note they did was to hit into another inning-ending double play, Cortes being to blame in the sixth inning. Jackson would go seven innings without allowing another run (and allowing only two more singles), but it was all for naught. Manny Fernandez opened the eighth inning with a double to right, but that was barely good enough to score on two not entirely wasted outs. Reyna then hit a scratch single on an 0-2 pitch, stole second, and was stranded when Kilmer flew out. Ryan McConnell struck out Berto, Wilson, and Romero in order in the ninth inning. 4-2 Canadiens. Romero 2-5, 2B; Fernandez 2-4, 2B; Reyna 2-3;

Doom.

Doom.

Nothing but doom.

(covers black googly eyes and wet face with a fluffy red pillow and Honeypaws)

Raccoons (0-3) @ Condors (0-3) – April 11-13, 2042

Starting on Friday in this set, there would be nothing but losses (and probably losers) on the field. Portland also had no homers, and the Condors had no stolen bases. They had however lost all games by one run only (against Charlotte) and looked marginally less futile. All runs had been charged to their starters – the Condors’ pen was so far unblemished. We had won the season series three years running, with back-to-back 7-2 efforts.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (0-0) vs. Jeremy Truett (0-0)
Corey Mathers (0-0) vs. Aaron Howell (0-0)
Rich Willett (0-1, 4.50 ERA) vs. Tommy Kubik (0-1, 9.64 ERA)

Kubik would be the first lefty opponent of the year.

Game 1
POR: 1B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Cortes – CF Reyna – C Kilmer – 2B Nickas – P Moreno
TIJ: LF S. Martin – 1B Willie Ojeda – CF Phinazee – C T. Morales – 2B J. Matos – 3B Lorensen – RF R. Phillips – SS Rose – P Truett

Singles by Berto and Manny and a grounder the Condors couldn’t turn for two off Maldonado’s bat gave the Critters an early 1-0 lead, but they immediately were made to regret letting Tony Morales go for a draft pick when the longtime Critters backstop whacked a game-tying RBI double with two outs in the bottom of the first. Moreno had walked Scott Martin to put some fodder on base. A leadoff walk was also issued to Ryan Lorensen in the bottom 2nd. Moreno threw two wild pitches and conceded the run on Ryan Phillips’ groundout, then walked Chris Rose, and gave up that run on Martin’s screamer in the gap. The Coons tied that deficit back up in the top 3rd, with Moreno even chipping in a leadoff single, while Manny doubled to reach the .500 mark and Maldonado plated both of them with a clutch single to left-center, getting the teams even at three. That didn’t stop Moreno from leaking base runners, but at least the game remained tied through four.

Top 5th, Berto and Hunter opened with base hits against Truett. When Manny walked, the bases were loaded with nobody out again. The Coons coyly kept the game tied, with Maldonado grounding into a force at home plate, Cortes popping out, and Reyna flying out to Mal Phinazee in center. Scott Martin ripped a triple in right-center to lead off the bottom 5th and Nelson Moreno collapsed from there, conceding three more hits, the go-ahead run, and eventually was hauled in when the only out he logged was Willie Ojeda getting slapped out at home plate on a Morales single. Phinazee stole third base off Kilmer and Brent Clark, and the latter conceded that run on Jesus Matos’ fly to left, extending the Condors’ lead to 5-3 despite the Raccoons out-hitting them, 8-5. Lorensen flew out to center.

The Raccoons hit three more singles in the seventh, which in itself wasn’t enough for a run – Berto, Maldo, and Cortes only loaded the bases with two outs for Reyna, who was out on a comebacker to Truett. The tying runs were in scoring position again in the eighth; Nickas reached on a Phinazee error and Tony Romero pinch-hit for a 1-out double to right-center. Berto and Hunter both struck out when the Condors brought in left-hander Ramiro Benavides to resolve the situation.

In the ninth, the dismal Critters encountered former superstar starter and surefire Hall of Famer Phil Harrington, trying to hang on as a closer after losing the touch on most of his pitches. Manny hit a leadoff single in a full count, bringing up the tying run, but Maldonado made a poor out. Not so Carlos Cortes, who became the first Critter to find the area behind the fence attractive enough to hit a baseball into it – that one tied the game and knocked out Harrington. Left-hander Brandon Bakst took over and got out of the inning. The game was sent to extras by Alex Ramirez, with Nick Lando batting for an 0-for-3 Steve Nickas against Bakst and hitting a single to right to open the 10th inning. That was also already all the team managed to do in the inning, Tony Hunter receiving an intentional walk aside. The 11th was even worse. The Raccoon got nobody on. The Condors got everybody on. Rella walked Bryce Toohey and Martin, and allowed singles to Ojeda and Phinazee to toss the game into the dumpster. 6-5 Condors. Ramos 3-6; Fernandez 3-5, 2B, BB; Maldonado 2-6, 3 RBI; Cortes 2-6, HR, 2 RBI; Reyna 2-6; Lando (PH) 1-2; Romero (PH) 1-1, 2B; Kelly 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

Dr. Padilla also reports that Nelson Moreno has a sore back and might miss his next start.

Look at that box score, Dr. Padilla, and tell me whether that would be so bad.

Game 2
POR: 1B Ramos – CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – RF Reyna – 3B de Wit – C Wilson – 2B Gutierrez – P Mathers
TIJ: LF S. Martin – 1B Willie Ojeda – CF Phinazee – C T. Morales – 2B J. Matos – RF Toohey – 3B Lorensen – SS Ragsdale – P Howell

Corey Mathers looked terrible, and soon enough produced terrible results. Matos drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 2nd, and Toohey hit a baseball all the way to Arizona to put the Raccoons in the trailing position yet again, 2-0. Gutierrez, Romero, and Hunter all hit singles in the third inning, but amounted to only one run, and Manny Fernandez popped out to strand the latter pair on the corners. The run was taken away again in the bottom of the inning. Mathers allowed a leadoff single, threw a wild pitch, and conceded the run on two very, very deep fly outs. Manny caught Ojeda’s fly at the edge of the warning track. Phinazee was caught by Reyna within licking distance of the fence.

Portland scratched back in the fourth; Reyna hit a leadoff double, and while the offense remained no help whatsoever, Howell was kind enough to balk the run across with two outs and Gutierrez in the box. Top 5th, Mathers opened with a single slapped through the right side, while Berto chomped a ball near the third base line that Lorensen couldn’t reach in time for a play, putting two on for Romero, who struck out. Tony Hunter walked, loading the bases for Manny, hitting .421 in the early going, with no RBI. He remained without an RBI, popping out to Matos. Reyna then grounded out to short and the dismal Critters stranded another set of three. At that point the Raccoons were trailing in a game in which they were out-hitting the other team, 8-3…

The Raccoons then got Romero on base in the seventh, and he stole second. And he was also stranded. In the eighth, Jay de Wit singled, and was doubled up by Jeff Wilson. In turn, Chuck Jones surrendered a pinch-hit, 2-run homer to Tony Coca, the old fossil, in the bottom 8th to put the game away. 5-2 Condors. Romero 2-4, RBI; Hunter 1-2, 2 BB; de Wit 2-4; Gutierrez 2-4;

At this stage the Raccoons were the only team without a W in the entire league.

Game 3
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 1B Cortes – RF Reyna – C Kilmer – 2B Lando – P Willett
TIJ: LF S. Martin – 1B Willie Ojeda – CF Phinazee – C T. Morales – 2B J. Matos – RF Toohey – 3B Lorensen – SS Ragsdale – P Kubik

The only meaningful scoring attempt through four innings was Willie Ojeda turning around third base on Morales’ single in the bottom 4th. Ojeda had hit a leadoff double in the inning, and he was also met by Tony Romero’s throw that had him slapped out at the plate. The game remained scoreless, with one pitiful base hit for the Coons after four innings. Another base hit came from unexpected whereabouts, with Nick Lando singling to left in the fifth inning, moving Kilmer (leadoff walk) to second base. Both were bunted into scoring position by Willett, after which Romero was walked intentionally. Kubik then brought in a run by hitting Hunter with a 1-2 pitch, which was ONE way to score. Manny finally got an RBI with a shy RBI single, and Maldo whacked a hard RBI single to right that ran the tally to 3-0. Cortes then finally found the double play, 6-4-3, they were looking for, ending the inning. Lorensen drew a leadoff walk from Willett in the bottom 5th, but was doubled up by Dylan Ragsdale.

Portland scratched out a fourth run in the seventh inning; Romero reached again, stole another base, and was eventually singled home with two outs by Maldonado. Tony Hunter was also on base, then was thrown out trying to steal third base. The Condors never threatened again facing Willett, but Willett reached 102 pitches after 7.2 innings, then came up against the all-lefty 2-3-4 part of the lineup and was lifted – given the wealth of lefty relieving we had it was a defensible move. Chuck Jones and Josh Rella collected the final outs and lifted the Raccoons into the winners’ circle. 4-0 Raccoons. Maldonado 2-4, 2 RBI; Willett 7.2 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 6 K, W (1-1);

In other news

April 8 – OCT 3B/2B Jim “Mastodon” Allen (.333, 0 HR, 2 RBI) has his 2,000th career hit, which is his second hit for the Thunder after 1,998 with the Blue Sox. The milestone hit is a single off ATL SP David Farris (0-0, 2.35 ERA) in the Thunder’s 5-4 loss.
April 9 – OCT C Rick Urfer (1-for-2, 1 HR, 1 RBI) decides a 1-0 contest against the Knights with a pinch-hit home run.
April 12 – The Crusaders grind out a 5-4 win in 16 innings against the Falcons.
April 12 – The Rebels scored 10 runs in the seventh inning in a comeback and takedown, 11-6, of the Wolves.
April 13 – SFW 2B/SS Mario Colon (.143, 0 HR, 1 RBI) will miss a month with a sprained ankle.

FL Player of the Week: CIN INF Cody St. Peter (.625, 1 HR, 4 RBI)
CL Player of the Week: TIJ RF/1B/LF Willie Ojeda (.565, 1 HR, 2 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Well. Uh. (hacks) There’s a worm in this bottle of … stuff…!

Anyway. This first week was ****. The record probably looks worse than it was. We had 60 hits and allowed 48, but scored 19 runs and allowed 24. A 1-5 record is rather rough for that. Yeah, we gave up more walks (21) than we drew (15). Maybe hitting more than a token homer while allowing six would have helped. Always fun when you’re fourth in average, fifth in OBP, sixth in OPS, and second-from-the-bottom in runs scored.

Angelo Montano went unclaimed and was assigned to the Alley Cats. Also on the Alley Cats for the time being: Cosmo Trevino, who started a rehab assignment on the weekend.

In things I don’t understand, Tim Zimmerman, age 37, signed a 2042 contract only this week. The 2041 Raccoon got $1.04M in coins from the Blue Sox, who are seemingly swimming in the dosh.

That is good, so I know whom to call to trade all these players away in June… or May.

Fun Fact: All will be well. It always is well in the end.

(hacks) You can’t drink this ****! Those Mexicans!

Maybe… (puts the worm back into the bottle, then keeps suckling on the bottleneck with an expression of numb-brained bliss)

[DD Martin]

Glad I got my under ticket in at 93 as the number is falling rapidly in Vegas after that opening week stinker. But that is just the money is business side of things. I hope the club wins the West! ....with 92 wins

By the way there is a struggling GM in another time trying to find your Capt n Coma bottled in the mid-1930's...

[Westheim]

Raccoons (1-5) vs. Falcons (4-2) – April 14-16, 2042

First series at home and the Raccoons were already in disarray. Good times! The Falcons led the South after the first week of the season, but had been hitting only .217 – baseball is a funny bugger. They were eighth in runs scored and third in runs allowed. We had lost last year’s season series, 4-5.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (0-1, 6.00 ERA) vs. Jose de Lucio (1-0, 2.25 ERA)
Jake Jackson (0-1, 5.14 ERA) vs. Corey Booth (1-0, 3.38 ERA)
TBD vs. Oscar Flores (0-0, 0.00 ERA)

We would get all right-handers here. Nelson Moreno’s start would be on Wednesday, but he has a sore back. Thursday is off, so instead of wonky roster moves we might send Corey Mathers on short rest. Mathers threw 101 pitches on Saturday, though.

Game 1
CHA: 3B Obando – RF C. Robinson – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – LF Esperanza – CF Case – 2B Farfan – 1B Sarro – P de Lucio
POR: 1B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – CF Romero – RF Reyna – C Kilmer – 2B Gutierrez – P Brown

Carlos Cortes was not in the starting lineup, but entered the game in the second inning as an injury replacement for Tony Romero – Reyna shifted to center – who tweaked a leg on a leadoff double to center. Reyna’s grounder and Kilmer’s sac fly to Seth Case brought Cortes around for the game’s first run. Brown retired seven in a row before Dan Sarro singled in the third inning. He then walked the bases full with Guillermo Obando and Chris Robinson before getting Tony Aparicio to kindly ground out. Kilmer got another RBI in the bottom 4th, singling home Miguel Reyna, who had forced out Maldonado and stolen second base. When a clumsy error by Chris Robinson added Omar Gutierrez to the bases and sent both runners to scoring position, Brown came through with a zinger to right-center for a 2-run single, extending the lead to 4-0. Berto singled, Hunter walked, and Manny remained absent when it came to driving in runs, popping out in foul ground.

The Falcons remained shut out through five, before a Gutierrez error got them a start in the sixth inning. They got Aparicio and Mitch Cook into scoring position, and Ruben Esperanza doubled in both of them, cutting the Raccoons’ lead in half. I made unhappy noises and refused Maud’s “All Will Be Well” branded, honey-laced tea. Brown somehow found out of the inning despite walking Jose Farfan, stranding the tying runs on the corners when Sarro grounded out and completed seven innings of 2-run ball (one run being earned). De Lucio lasted eight, keeping the Critters to what they had, while Alex Ramirez allowed only a single to Esperanza in the eighth. The ninth saw the first appearance of the year for Wyatt Hamill, who had to travel three different countries before seeing action. He showed no rust and sat down three in a row to end the game. 4-2 Coons. Romero 1-1, 2B; Kilmer 1-2, 2 RBI; Brown 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, W (1-1) and 1-3, 2 RBI;

Dr. Padilla reported a mild hip strain for Tony Romero that might bother him all week and recommended only light duty for him.

No Raccoon did any duty on Tuesday, when ill weather precluded baseball activities, scheduling a double header for Wednesday. On the plus side, Nelson Moreno *did* report for duty on Wednesday, so we didn’t have to worry about that on top of everything else. Jackson remained in the first game of the day, and we’d spread the love around a bit on the roster.

Game 2
CHA: 2B Shay – RF C. Robinson – SS Aparicio – C Kokoszka – 3B Farfan – LF Esperanza – 1B Sarro – CF Case – P Booth
POR: 1B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – CF Reyna – RF Cortes – C Wilson – 2B Lando – P Jackson

Berto singled, Hunter doubled, and Manny at least hit a sac fly for the first run of the game, right in the first inning. Maldonado struck out before a wild pitch advanced Hunter to third base. There was no difference from that in the end, with Reyna whacking a homer to right-center for a 3-0 lead one way or another. So while we felt good about that for a while, the Raccoons didn’t tack on, then saw Jake Jackson explode in the fourth inning. Robinson hit a homer to right, Chris Kokoszka doubled, scored on Farfan’s single, and then they kept whacking singles until they had four runs on the board and Booth made the final out. Portland got Reyna and Wilson to the corners in the bottom 4th, but then had Nick Lando ground into an inning-ending double play. It would probably only get worse the next inning; Jackson led off with a single to center and Berto and Hunter also shoveled their bums aboard to give Manny three on and nobody out. He grounded to short, but Aparicio had to come in and could only get the out at first base, so that at last evened the score at four. Maldonado hit another run-scoring groundout, and Reyna grounded out to short to keep Hunter stranded at third base in a 5-4 game.

Jackson hung around for seven innings, striking out the side in his final frame, which made the 4-run fourth all the more bitter on the tongue, and on the soul too. Brent Clark then blew the lead by hanging a baseball that was peppered out of sight by the first batter he saw in the eighth, Adam Shay, and walked Robinson, who was run for by Angelo Rios, who came around to score on a Farfan single off Josh Rella with two outs, aaand the Coons trailed again…! Down 6-5 in the bottom 9th and facing right-hander Marcus Goode, the Raccoons sent de Wit to bat for Lando to start the inning, netting a single for their troubles. Jeff Kilmer then batted for Chuck Jones in the #9 hole. He got a fat one – and he got ALL of it, ending the game with a monstrous homer to left-center! 7-6 Critters! Ramos 2-4; Wilson 2-4; de Wit (PH) 1-1; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, HR, 2 RBI;

After that mess of a game, the Raccoons retained four relievers to back up Nelson Moreno (0-0, 10.38 ERA) in the second game of the day: Hamill, Ramirez, Craig, and Kelly;

Game 3
CHA: 2B Shay – RF C. Robinson – SS Aparicio – 3B Farfan – LF Esperanza – 1B Sarro – C M. Cook – CF Case – P O. Flores
POR: CF Reyna – 3B de Wit – LF Fernandez – 1B Maldonado – 1B Maldonado – RF Cortes – C Kilmer – 2B Gutierrez – SS Nickas – P Moreno

Neither team made it past first base until the third inning, when Reyna hit a 2-out single for the Critters, and Jay de Wit cause and all-Aruba frenzy with a 2-run homer to left-center! Manny made it back-to-back with a shot to right, giving Nelson Moreno a 3-0 lead. Nels had only allowed one single and had whiffed two in the first three innings, so maybe this outing would not develop into quite the nightma- oh, **** it, Jose Farfan just hit one out.

De Wit and Manny went back-to-back again in the fifth inning, but then with singles. And with de Wit being thrown out at third base by Robinson. And with Manny stranded by Maldonado. And no runs scored. Instead, Moreno blew the lead in the sixth, conceding singles to Flores (…), who was forced out by Shay, and to Robinson. He plated one run with a wild pitch, and the other came in on Aparicio’s groundout… there was just no reasoning with this kid…

He lived through seven without earning (or deserving) a decision, with the Raccoons having Berto pinch-hit for him after Nickas’ leadoff single in the bottom 7th. Berto spanked into a 6-4-3, and that was that. Ramirez then nailed Seth Case to begin the eighth, but Obando also hit into a double play. Here were two former speed demons, who now were just old and sad. At least they were spread equally between the teams. Berto was actually fat enough to spread between both dugouts… The Coons in the bottom 8th played hit-and-run with Manny on first and Maldo batting. Maldo lined out to Farfan, who turned the 5-3 double play. Ramirez and Hamill kept the game tied to bring Kilmer back for more heroics – hopefully – leading off the bottom 9th against Bryan Carmichael in a tied game. He struck out, and Gutierrez and Nickas were no more useful than him in keeping the game from going to extras. Hamill struck out the side in the 10th before being hit for, his spot leading off the bottom of the inning. The Coons sent Romero, who walked and took it easy when Reyna singled up the middle and stopped at second base. De Wit was then used to bunt. He dropped the ball near the third base line, a pretty good one actually, and Farfan hadn’t seen it coming. He had to make a bare-handed play and zinged the ball past Sarro at first base, and Romero dashed home to end the game on the error! 4-3 Raccoons! Reyna 3-5, 2B; de Wit 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Fernandez 3-4, HR, RBI; Hamill 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K, W (1-0);

WHATEVER WORKS!! (jumps around Cristiano and Maud doing an expressionist dance)

Raccoons (4-5) vs. Titans (3-6) – April 18-20, 2042

There was trouble on the horizon for Boston. Although it was early days, they were 11th in both runs scored and runs allowed, had the worst rotation, were bottoms in home runs AND stolen bases, and there were a couple other red flags, too. But then they were the team the Raccoons had their absolute worst record against all-time, so they knew a thing about us we probably didn’t know about ourselves… Last year we had dropped the season series once more, 8-10.

Projected matchups:
Corey Mathers (0-1, 4.26 ERA) vs. Philip Wise (0-1, 9.72 ERA)
Rich Willett (1-1, 1.98 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (0-1, 3.65 ERA)
Josh Brown (1-1, 3.46 ERA) vs. Michael Donovan (0-0, 5.06 ERA)

Right, left, left, although they had also had yesterday off, so they could skip another righty into the series. Tony Romero was questionable to start the series, but would be available for pinch-hitting.

Game 1
BOS: 2B J. Rodriguez – 1B A. Zacarias – CF Vermillion – RF M. Avila – SS Duenez – C Kuehn – LF Hooge – 3B J. Nelson – P P. Wise
POR: 1B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – CF Reyna – C Kilmer – RF Cortes – 2B Gutierrez – P Mathers

Juan Rodriguez, Alex Zacarias, and Mark Vermillion all greeted Mathers with sharp base hits for a run with nobody out, but they were then also stranded on the corners when Moises Avila whiffed, Mario Duenez popped out, and Paul Kuehn flew out easily to center. The Titans wasted another three runners between the next two innings, then got home runs from Kuehn and Wise (…) to run the tally to 3-0 in the fourth inning. At that point, in hits, the tally was Boston eight, Portland zip. Tony Hunter singled to center for the first entry into Portland’s H column, a leadoff hit in the bottom 4th. He then stole second and scored on a Maldonado double, but two grounders ended the inning before an actual rally could break out.

Mathers finished an otherwise poor outing with two hitless innings to keep the score at 3-1, while Hunter was on base again to begin the bottom 6th, reaching on a 2-base throwing error by Mario Duenez. He would score on a pair of wild pitches while Manny whiffed and Maldo got drilled; the latter wild pitch also sent Maldonado into scoring position. He was still stranded when Reyna grounded out and Kilmer lined out to Duenez… and in turn a run was shaken out of Zack Kelly between two hits and a Cortes error in the top 7th.

Bottom 7th, the tying runs were on base with nobody out; Cortes singled off Chris Haskell, and Gutierrez drew a walk. De Wit was in the #9 hole after a double switch (Reyna was gone), but flew out to center. Berto flew out to right, and Hunter grounded out to second to throw the inning away. Boston scored another run on Jon Craig in the eighth. Duenez and Ed Hooge, who had so far been greated warmly by the crowd, hit singles, and Justin Nelson hit a sac fly. That deepened the hole to 5-2 and there was no real rally hope anymore… in me at least; the team drew two walks off two pitchers to begin the bottom 8th, putting Manny and Maldo on base for Tony Romero, pinch-hitting for Craig. Jerry Hodges walked Romero, too, and the bases were loaded for Kilmer, batting a scary .107. He ran a full count before whacking a Hodges pitch to left for an RBI single, 5-3. (covers his eyes with his paws) Can I look, Slappy? [Cortes hits into run-scoring double play] Okay, no. (presses paws on eyes harder) When lefty Gabe Butler replaced Hodges, Lando batted for Gutierrez, but flew out to center, stranding the tying run on third base, and the Titans then just piled another two runs on Rella in the ninth inning, which started with a Ramos error at first base and continued with four base hits until I had no more tears to cry. 7-4 Titans. Maldonado 1-2, BB, 2B, RBI;

Game 2
BOS: 2B J. Rodriguez – 1B A. Zacarias – LF W. Vega – CF Vermillion – RF M. Avila – C Kuehn – SS Duenez – 3B J. Nelson – P Donovan
POR: 3B de Wit – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – 1B Cortes – RF Reyna – C Kilmer – 2B Lando – P Willett

The lefty offered up for Saturday was Donovan rather than Gonzalez, so we’d see what would happen from there, but for now the Raccoons scored in the first inning, getting three singles from de Wit (who was forced out by Hunter), Maldonado, and Cortes (who got the RBI). Reyna walked to fill the bases, and Kilmer flew out to Willie Vega in deep left to keep them loaded… Willett retired his former team in order the first time through, while the Coons had Manny and Maldo on base again with one out in the bottom 3rd, reaching on a walk and an error, respectively. Donovan leaked another walk to Cortes, filling the sacks again for Reyna, who grounded a ball to Rodriguez – and the Titans barely failed to turn the double play, getting Cortes at second, but not Reyna at first, and Manny scored to make it 2-0. Kilmer then grounded out, getting his LOB total for the day up to five…

Vega legged out an infield single in the fourth to get *a* Titan on base, but was stranded. Donovan was the next Bostonian on base, singling in the sixth, but other than that Willett had them completely under his spell. In a perfect world, though, the Raccoons would move out of bloop-and-blast-oh-oh territory; but they took until the seventh inning to build some sort of threat again, and then with two outs, putting Hunter and Maldonado on the corners with singles off Donovan and Butler, respectively. Cortes cashed a run with a single to left on a 1-2 pitch, 3-0, and the Coons moved all-in, hitting Romero for Reyna against the lefty. He popped out, ending the inning. Romero did not go into the field – Manny moved to right, a rare sight to see, de Wit to left, and Nickas was inserted at third base. After Kuehn struck out and Duenez flew out easily to center, Justin Nelson hit a single to left in the eighth inning. Hoogey hit for the pitcher, but struck out to end the inning. Willett – on only 85 pitches – came back for the ninth inning, facing the top of the order. He led off with a full-count walk to Rodriguez, so now Wyatt Hamill, so far tossing lightly, began to throw in earnest in the pen. Alex Zacarias fell to 1-2 before hitting into a double play, 6-4-3! Vega, finally, struck out. 3-0 Furballs! Maldonado 3-4; Cortes 2-3, BB, 2 RBI; Willett 9.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 7 K, W (2-1) and 1-4;

Southpaw Sunday at Raccoons Ballpark – Mario Gonzalez was only saved up for the last game in the set!

Game 3
BOS: SS J. Rodriguez – 1B A. Zacarias – C Kuehn – RF M. Avila – LF J. Nelson – CF Vermillion – 2B Arnett – 3B Gil – P M. Gonzalez
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 1B Cortes – RF Reyna – C Wilson – 2B Lando – P Brown

Brown walked the bases full in the first inning, but Vermillion flew out to a fine-again Tony Romero to allow the Coons’ hurler to bail out without any actual damage accrued (never mind the exploding pitch count – the pen is rested). The second began with Manny Fernandez clonking James Arnett’s fly for an error, then a walk to Antonio Gil. Okay, maybe something was actually wrong with him? Brown claimed to be fine, got a bunt and a comebacker, then scored a run with a passed ball and walked Zacarias. Kuehn grounded out, stranding two, but Dr. Padilla and the manager were seen talking with Brown while the bottom 2nd was in progress, at least until he had to bat with Cortes (single) and Reyna (plunked) on the corners and two outs. He dropped a single between Vermillion and Rodriguez to tie the game. Romero flew out. Vermillion singled in the third, but at least Brown appeared reined in.

The game remained tied at one into the fifth inning. Kuehn hit a leadoff single to left there, but was forced out by Avila. Brown then threw not one, but two wild pitches, but struck out Nelson. At this point it was anybody’s guess what was going on with the southpaw… Vermillion grounded out to Lando, ending the inning, and Brown was not coming back for the sixth, being removed after 85 wholly tumultuous pitches.

The Raccoons patched the next three innings together with Clark, Craig, and Jones, while not getting any closer to a second run. Maybe Antonio Gil would help them out, throwing away a grounder induced by Haskell for an error in the bottom 8th, putting Cortes on second base with one out. Cortes reached third base on a wild pitch, and Reyna came through with a single up the middle to break the tie…! Wilson singled to right, and Berto batted for Lando and walked to fill the sacks. De Wit hit for Chuck Jones, grounded to first for an out, but got another run in, causing all stocks to go up at the Oranjestad exchange. Romero livened up an 0-for-4- day with a screaming double down the leftfield line, scoring two more runs, and getting another right-hander involved. Julio Vasquez made Hunter fly out, and that ended the inning. Alex Ramirez then struck out the side in the ninth to put the game away and get the team back to .500! 5-1 Raccoons. Fernandez 2-4; Reyna 3-3, RBI; Wilson 2-4;

In other news

April 14 – SFB CL Jon Salls (0-1, 4.50 ERA, 2 SV) will miss half the season with a torn triceps.
April 15 – DAL 2B/SS Hugo Acosta (.389, 0 HR, 3 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak dating back to 2041, landing a third-inning single in a 4-3 win over Cincinnati to get there.
April 16 – NAS 3B/SS Brad Critzer (.267, 2 HR, 5 RBI) would miss three weeks with an elbow sprain suffered in an on-base collision.
April 17 – The Cyclones down the Buffaloes, 14-7, with five runs driven in on three hits by sophomore CIN OF/1B Celio Umbreiro (.273, 0 HR, 7 RBI).
April 19 – VAN LF/RF/3B/2B Justin Becker (.276, 0 HR, 0 RBI) is out for the season with a torn anterior cruciate ligament.
April 19 – The hitting streak of DAL 2B/SS Hugo Acosta (.426, 0 HR, 6 RBI) ends at 22 games with an 0-for-4 outing in a 1-0 loss to the Pacifics.
April 19 – NAS SP Matt Hose (2-1, 3.15 ERA) 3-hits the Rebels in a 5-0 Blue Sox victory. The 33-year-old allows four walks and whiffs six in the outing.
April 19 – DEN 2B Evan Sperling (.227, 1 HR, 5 RBI) ends a 14-inning tussle with the Scorpions with a grand slam off MR Fiorenzo DeSanctis (0-1, 5.14 ERA), giving the Gold Sox a 6-2 walkoff win.
April 20 – WAS RF/LF Eduardo “Shameless” Avila (.362, 0 HR, 8 RBI) has five hits and two RBI in a 12-1 rush of the Miners.

FL Player of the Week: WAS RF/LF Eduardo Avila (.362, 0 HR, 8 RBI), hitting .536 (15-28) with 3 RBI
CL Player of the Week: OCT C Jesus Adames (.383, 2 HR, 6 RBI), batting .500 (12-24) with 2 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Things look a lot less bleak after the second week. We are scoring some runs. The rotation seems mostly solid on most days. The pen had a few early wobbles, but was almost without flaw this week. We are playing VERY good defense!

So I guess the baseball gods will deal us a few crippling injuries before the month is over.

We will be at home for another week, seeing the Indians and Knights. The month will end with the first scratches on a grueling 4-city road trip, starting in Oklahoma City.

Fun Fact: Rich Willett pitched his fifth career shutout and all of them involved the Titans.

Of course he tossed the other four *for* them. All the other ones were somehow against CL South teams, and he never got closer to actual history than a 3-hitter, which he did once before against the Thunder in 2039.

[Questdog]

Dear Sir or Madam,

Won't you read my book? No, wait that is another letter I plan to write.....

I believe my wife may have written you a rather harsh letter last week, in which she demanded a refund on our season tickets. I would like you to know that I do not condone that letter and hope that you ignored it or will ignore it if you come across it later. I am entirely satisfied to keep my tickets for this season!

Yours respectfully,

Craig DeCrank

P.S. This is his wife, Darlene, and I am okay with you ignoring my letter, but I want you to know that it was only written at my husband's urging after the poor showing of the team in the first week. Personally, I like going to the ballpark and don't really care if the team wins or loses.

[Westheim]

(reads from the mailbag and shakes his head) These people have so little faith today...!

+++

Raccoons (6-6) vs. Indians (7-5) – April 22-24, 2042

After an off day on Monday, the Raccoons would host the Indians, who they had mauled in 2041, winning 15 of 18 games. The Indians had started the year 7-1, but had lost four in a row now. They were sixth in runs scored and third in runs allowed. I wasn’t really seeing a reason why they would be much improved over their wretched ’41 season, although they had added some solid pitching options.

Projected matchups:
Jake Jackson (0-1, 5.14 ERA) vs. Luke Moses (2-0, 0.64 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (0-0, 6.35 ERA) vs. Alex Flores (1-0, 0.00 ERA)
Corey Mathers (0-2, 4.38 ERA) vs. Ayden Cobb (2-1, 5.40 ERA)

We would get all right-handers here, but will not catch a glimpse of last year’s Critter, Drew Johnson (1-1, 1.89 ERA), who had pitched on Sunday, but the Indians would see Jake Jackson, who had wound up for them for a while.

Game 1
IND: CF Crocker – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – LF D. Rivera – C Mordino – 2B Sanderfer – 1B Dodson – SS E. Vargas – P Moses
POR: 1B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – CF Romero – C Kilmer – 2B Gutierrez – P Jackson

The Indians made defensive errors in each of the first two innings, but the Coons could not seize the opportunity, while Jackson conceded a run to the Indians without giving up a base hit. Danny Rivera drew a leadoff walk in the second, stole a base, and advanced on two productive outs, the latter Alex Sanderfer’s sac fly. The Indians didn’t get a hit until the fourth, then a Sal Mordino RBI single cashing in on Dan Hutson, who had drawn another leadoff walk. It didn’t get any better – Pat Dodson singled and Enrique Vargas walked in the fifth inning. Moses bunted them over, and Nick Crocker slapped a ball through between Berto and Gutierrez for a 2-run single. Jackson made the first out in the bottom 5th, before Berto drew a walk off Moses. The Raccoons then doubled their hits total from two to four with a pair of singles by Tony Hunter and Manny Fernandez that loaded the bases for Jesus Maldonado, who hit a rocket to center that was regrettably caught by Crocker, but was a sac fly at least. Reyna shoved a 2-out RBI single into shallow left, 4-2, and Moses hit Romero with a 2-0 pitch. That brought up Jeff Kilmer, hitting 0-for-2 in this game and .118 as a while, and we knew Kilmer better than being this terrible. He was 3-1 ahead before he swung and whacked a ball. I screamed, but it fell in left-center, and two runs scored, tying the score at four. Gutierrez then chopped a single on a 1-2 pitch, and the Indians expected Jackson to make the third out in addition to the first out in the inning – but he shot a single up the middle and brought in two runs to take the lead, 6-4! That was the end for Moses, yanked for lefty Aaron Curl, who got Berto to ground out to end the 6-run onslaught.

Unfortunately, the lead was not permanent. Jackson walked Rivera to begin the sixth, then gave up a blast to Sal Mordino that tied the game. Three leadoff walks – all scored. The Indians took the lead on Rella, who put Sanderfer on, and Jones, who conceded the run on a Keith Thomson double from the #9 hole. Thomson and Hunter locked knees at second base and the Indian got the worst of it, having to leave the game with a knee contusion. Crocker then made the third out. Portland had Hunter and Manny on base in the bottom 6th, then had Maldonado hit into a double play to kill the effort. Kilmer hit a leadoff double in the seventh inning, but between Gutierrez, Cortes, and Ramos, the Raccoons again couldn’t get a ******* clutch hit.

Bottom 8th, Maldonado was back at the plate with Hunter on second after a single and stolen base, and Fernandez on first, drawing a walk from Orlando Altreche. Maldo singled to right, with Mario Ochoa on the ball quick and Hunter being stopped at third base. Oh crap – three on, no outs. One to tie, two to take the lead. Reyna hit into the obvious force out at home plate. Jay de Wit hit for Brent Clark in the #6 hole, and at least tied the game with a sac fly to Ochoa. Kilmer flew out. – Maud, I will need that good piece of rope you’ve been hiding from me.

Hamill pitched scoreless ninth and tenth innings for Portland. Nobody reached against Altreche in the ninth, while lefty Eric Peck was out for the bottom 10th and the 2-3-4 hitters. Hunter singled to center, and the Raccoons reached into their box of tricks and called a bunt for Manny. Dan Hutson had played so far back that even a so-so bunt by Manny was good enough to leg it out and move the winning run to second base. And here was Maldonado, with one more chance to get rid of the Goon of the Day award, and for the third time hitting with Hunter and Manny on and nobody out. He singled to right this time, and Hunter was sent around third base and for home plate and – was thrown out by Ochoa. The trailing runners advanced, so a sac fly would – no, for the moment, Reyna was walked intentionally, and the Coons sent Jeff Wilson to hit for Hamill. He popped out. Kilmer flew out. The game raged on.

Zack Kelly pitched two scoreless, which included allowing a single by Sanderfer in the 12th, but Kelly picked him off to end the inning. The Coons did nothing in those innings. Kelly was still on it in the 13th, with Juan Salinas reaching via four balls dealt to him. He was caught stealing. Alex Ramirez was the only reliever we had left here, so I would very much welcome an end to the game here. No Raccoon reached base against Vincenzo Battaglia in the bottom 13th, though. Ramirez walked two in the 14th, but Mordino killed the inning with a 6-4-3 double play. Portland did get Berto on base with two outs, but that was all. The meat of the order was up for the home team in the 15th against Battaglia, and nobody reached.

At that this stage, Nelson Moreno, tomorrow’s scheduled starter, was active in the bullpen. Ramirez squeezed one more scoreless inning out of his arm, but after that we’d be without reliever-relievers. Only starter-relievers left. Steve Nickas batted for Ramirez to begin the bottom 16th against the durable Battaglia, our last bat off the bench. He flew out, and only Gutierrez reached on a 2-out walk. Cortes stranded him. Battaglia lasted until Tony Hunter drew a full-count walk off him, then was lifted after 5.1 innings of stellar, suffocating relief. Mike Iannone took over with one out in the 17th. Manny struck out. Maldonado hit a fly to center, but it stretched beyond the reach of Crocker, and dunked in for extra bases. Hunter raced all the way around and scored. 8-7 Blighters. Hunter 3-7, 2 BB; Fernandez 4-8, BB; Maldonado 3-7, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Hamill 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K; Kelly 3.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 2 K; Ramirez 3.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 3 K;

I am tired, Slappy. I want to go to … (mumbles intelligibly while falling asleep against Slappy’s shoulder)

Contrary to popular belief of all doomsayers in all ballgames north of the 13th inning, the sun rose on Wednesday. The Raccoons obviously voided Nelson Moreno and moved up Mathers to pitch on regular rest. Also, four relievers had thrown an inning or less after an off day, so we still had arms available. If Mathers got knocked out early, THEN things would get dicey.

Game 2
IND: CF Crocker – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – LF D. Rivera – C Mordino – 2B Sanderfer – 1B Dodson – SS Russ – P Cobb
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – 1B Cortes – C Wilson – 2B Nickas – P Mathers

Indy scored early again, with Danny Rivera tripling home Nick Crocker and his leadoff single with two outs in the top 1st. The Raccoons answered with an unearned run in the bottom 1st. Romero walked, Hunter reached on a Dodson error, and after Manny grounded out to advance both into scoring position, Maldonado hit an RBI single to right. Romero came in, while Hunter was thrown out when he tried to get some, too. Mathers walked Sanderfer in the second inning, then fell behind on a 2-out RBI single by Ayden Cobb. – Maud, I *really* need that good rope…!!

The third inning then saw the grisly end for Mathers, which was exactly that worst case scenario that we had conjured up. Starting with the #3 hitter Hutson, the Indians butchered him via single, single, double, triple. While Dodson struck out, Andrew Russ hit an RBI single with two outs. Cobb then ripped a double, with Russ thrown out at home plate by Manny Fernandez to end the inning with a 6-1 score. The Raccoons had no choice but to fully embrace the sour grapes and give up on the game, so we could maintain a shred of a bullpen for the rubber game on Thursday. The score ballooned to 7-1 in the fourth when Rivera doubled in Ochoa, the final run beaten out of Mathers’ lifeless body through six innings. Maldonado hit a 2-run homer to right off Cobb in the fifth, but we had a hunch that it would not matter in the long run…. And it didn’t. Nobody scored for the next three innings after the Maldonado homer, with two scoreless innings delivered by Jon Craig. Brent Clark allowed a run on two singles in the top 9th, while Nick Lando hit a pinch-hit single and made it around to score on a Hunter sac fly in the bottom 9th. The Coons still lost by plenty. 8-4 Indians. Fernandez 2-5; Maldonado 2-5, HR, 3 RBI; Wilson 2-3, BB; Lando (PH) 1-1; Craig 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

I had great pleasure imagining a fiery demotion for Corey Mathers (0-3, 6.38 ERA), but I couldn’t stand the shame of axing another #5 starter in April, so we’d concede another loss in his next start, and then axe him in May instead.

…and maybe Rich Willett could save us from becoming a fifth-place fixture in the division by winning the rubber game…

Game 3
IND: CF Crocker – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – LF D. Rivera – C Mordino – 2B Sanderfer – 1B Dodson – SS Russ – P A. Flores
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – 1B Ramos – C Kilmer – 2B Gutierrez – P Willett

Willett held up to the tune of a hit and a walk through three innings, while the Raccoons scattered three singles the first time through the order, but then got Romero on to start the bottom 3rd, and Romero stole second base. That extra 90 feet didn’t matter, since Hunter buried a triple in the gap anyway to take a 1-0 lead, making up for having been caught stealing earlier in the bottom 1st. Hunter himself scored on a wild pitch after Manny struck out and Maldo got nicked, on the 2-0 to Miguel Reyna, who ended up popping out for the second out of the inning. Berto, dropped to get more out of Romero’s bat, clipped an RBI single to right, though, extending the lead to 3-0. Kilmer walked after that, but Gutierrez popped out, and the Indians answered with a Hutson double to lead off the fourth, and then a Rivera homer to right-center. 3-2. Mordino, Sanderfer, and Russ all whacked hits, the last batter a double, to take a 4-3 lead for Indianapolis in the same inning. (hits head on desk repeatedly)

I cried a little, but the baseball gods laughed tears, good enough for a 90-minute rain delay in the bottom of the fifth, knocking out both starting pitchers. Technically, Willett could still get the W here, and the Raccoons took to the corners with Maldo and Berto in the bottom 5th, with one out Aaron Curl pitching. Kilmer walked on a disputed borderline call, loading them up for Omar Gutierrez, who had been fairly hot in the first week, but had long cooled off, *and* Curl was a southpaw. Cortes, slumping just as badly, pinch-hit for him, and hit a comebacker to get Maldonado killed at home plate. Nick Lando hit for Willett, and flew out to right to strand everybody.

The Coons then shed Manny Fernandez, who crashed off the fence in pursuit of a Sanderfer drive off Josh Rella in the sixth. He made the catch, and also a bee line for the dugout with a painful grimace. De Wit replaced him. Jones pitched in the seventh, served up a homer to Crocker, 5-3, then loaded the bases with a single, a walk, and a hit batter. He was yanked, and three on, one out went to Alex Ramirez. He allowed a run on a Mordino sac fly, then walked Sanderfer… and then was hauled in by Dr. Padilla after making weird motions on the mound trying to shake up some knot in his body or other. Jon Craig came on to strike out Dodson, one of only two batters he faced on his third day pitching in a row. Russ struck out to begin the eighth. At that point, we threw in Zack Kelly and told him that nobody would pick him up. The last five outs were all his. This included bunting in the bottom 8th, slapping a ball into a force at second base, getting Kilmer slapped out. Not that Kilmer had reached meaningfully – a Sanderfer flub had placed him on base. Nobody scored on Kelly, but the Coons also didn’t score on anybody. 6-3 Indians. Hunter 2-4, BB, 3B, RBI; Ramos 2-4, RBI; Kilmer 0-1, 3 BB;

Dr. Padilla brought the good news on Friday morning. Alex Ramirez had a torn flexor tendon in his elbow, and in all likelihood was out for the season.

Manny had a sore back. He’d live, probably, but was day-for-day for the weekend set.

Doesn’t matter. Everything’s crushed to smush already.

…..

Raccoons (7-8) vs. Knights (9-7) – April 25-27, 2042

The Raccoons, drifting face down in the Willamette, hosted the Knights as the fourth and final team on the homestand. Atlanta was eighth in runs scored and runs allowed, with a -5 run differential (Coons: -3), but still two games over .500. Their rotation had a 3.39 ERA, which was probably the best part about their team. We had won six of nine last season. I had no doubt we’d win none of nine now.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (1-1, 2.50 ERA) vs. David Farris (2-0, 1.29 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (1-0, 5.84 ERA) vs. Bill Nichol (0-2, 2.75 ERA)
Jake Jackson (0-1, 6.63 ERA) vs. Jose Medina (1-0, 2.61 ERA)

The 37-year-old Medina would continue the time-honored tradition of Southpaw Sunday … unless the Knights’ off day on Thursday would lead to them doing funky moves.

The Raccoons made a roster move, disabling their by far best right-handed reliever for the year, and called up … hey, anybody remember Travis Sims?

I don’t care, Maud. Give me the rope, or you’re fired.

Game 1
ATL: LF Hester – 1B Jam. King – 2B Crim – CF Oliver – C Krumholz – RF Kristoff – SS McKoy – 3B Holmes – P Farris
POR: 1B Ramos – CF Romero – SS Hunter – 3B Maldonado – LF Reyna – C Wilson – RF Cortes – 2B Gutierrez – P Brown

Farris lasted five outs before leaving with an injury, so the Knights would have to dig into their bullpen right away here. We knew the feeling. In any case, the game was scoreless through two innings. David Fernandez, longtime Coons left-hander, replaced him and was also the first Knight to reach with a single through the left side. (bangs both fists repeatedly on the desk and screams skywards) ARE YOU HAPPY UP THERE?? ARE YOU???? … Singles by Billy Hester and Jamie King loaded the bags for Atlanta, but Joe Crim would ground out to strand everybody in the top 3rd, so the answer was probably yes.

The stupid Knights had three base hits again in the fifth inning and took a 1-0 lead this time. Tyler McKoy hit the first single and moved up on Ryan Holmes’ groundout, and, yes, David Fernandez singled to center to get the runner home. Hester also got on base again, but King hit into a double play. Andy Montes would pinch-hit for David Fernandez in the seventh inning. I didn’t exactly know why. But I never exactly knew why. (crumbles dish washer tabs into a glass of Capt’n Coma)

Bottom 7th, the so far useless Raccoons got Wilson on with a 1-out single off righty Tim Scott. A wild pitch advanced the runner before Cortes walked anyway, which didn’t help his .145 batting average. After Gutierrez popped out on a 3-1 pitch (…), Manny Fernandez grabbed a stick out of desperation, batting for Brown with two outs, bad back be damned. He dropped a single to load the bases, but Hester kept Wilson from going further than third base. Berto came up with two outs and the plates stuffed… and struck out. Bottom 8th, Romero landed a single and stole second base, his seventh of the year. Hunter then drew a walk against Scott. Maldonado flew out to Justin Kristoff before left-hander Vinny Ramirez came on to see after Reyna. Jay de Wit pinch-hit, slashed a 1-1 pitch through the left side, and Romero raced around to tie the game. And then Wilson grounded out and Cortes softly lined out to McKoy…….

Hamill kept the game tied in the ninth, retiring three in a row, before the Raccoons began the bottom 9th with Lando batting for Gutierrez against the left-hander Ramirez on the mound. He drew a 4-pitch walk, at which point Kilmer sat down quickly and Hamill was retained to bunt instead. He tried to bunt until he struck out. Berto grounded out, moving Lando to second base, and Romero grounded out to keep the silly game going. (stares at the angry bubbles in his glass) Hamill allowed a single in his second inning of work, but struck out three to get the top of the 10th over with. The Raccoons would bring up the meaty part of the order against another former Critter, right-hander Rico Sanchez (who was not quite as ******* fondly remembered here…); Hunter popped out, Maldo got nicked, and de Wit hit a single to right, sending the winning run to third base with one gone. Wilson popped out in a full count. Cortes struck out. I hit my head on the desk again.

The Coons used Sims in a scoreless 11th, then batted for him while getting nobody on between Lando, Kilmer, and Berto in the bottom of the inning. Josh Rella had a clean 12th, then walked Marc DeVita in he #1 hole and conceded the run on Brian Oliver and Zachary Krumholz singles with one out in the 13th inning. There it was, the run that would mean defeat. The Raccoons brought up the 5-6-7 batters in the second inning of right-hander Rich Ray in the bottom 13th. De Wit led off with a double to right, setting off fireworks in Aruba. Wilson flew out. Cortes grounded out. Lando was next … and he had to bat – only Steve Nickas was left on the bench, and we needed the “threat” of him so the Knights wouldn’t just intentionally walk the #8 hitter here, then feast on a pitcher. Perversely, Nick Lando dropped a single into left to tie the game. Then Nickas struck out… Brent Clark was in for the 14th inning. He allowed a leadoff single to McKoy. Holmes grounded out, sending the runner to second, and then Clark fell to 3-0 against Ray and allowed a single to center. McKoy was sent – and thrown out by Romero. DeVita grounded out. The Coons remained hopeless, while the 15th saw the Knights make another out on the base paths, this time Jose Garcia being thrown out at third base by Cortes when Oliver singled. They didn’t get a run across against Clark, wonky to the n-th degree. He got more time to lose the game, though, since while Cortes hit a 2-out double in the bottom of the inning, Lando stranded the runner with a groundout. Indeed, DeVita singled in the tie-breaking run after Clark had already allowed a hit and a walk in the top 16th, AND then Brent Clark had to lead off the bottom 16th batting, because we were out of useful bums on the bench. He grounded out. Berto doubled to left. Romero grounded out. Hunter whiffed. I finally poured the foaming contents of the glass. 3-2 Knights. De Wit (PH) 3-4, 2B, RBI; Fernandez (PH) 1-1; Brown 7.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 4 K and 1-1; Hamill 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K;

Yes, Maud. Cancel he steak breakfast tomorrow. All they are ever gonna get to nom is broccoli, until they play like a ******* baseball team!!

Game 2
ATL: RF Kristoff – 1B Jam. King – CF Oliver – 2B Crim – C Horner – LF Hester – SS McKoy – 3B Holmes – P Nichol
POR: 1B Ramos – CF Romero – SS Hunter – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – LF de Wit – C Kilmer – 2B Nickas – P Moreno

Bill Nichol walked three Coons in the bottom 1st, but thanks to Hunter’s double play grounder in between, nobody scored. Moreno struck out four in the first three innings, and the only hit was a breaking pitch into Justin Kristoff’s bum in the third inning, which did no permanent harm. The Raccoons scored in the same inning, getting on Romero, who stole another base before being singled in by Maldonado with two outs. Come the fourth, Moreno offered a leadoff walk to Brian Oliver. Joe Crim singled over Hunter’s head, and Adam Horner homered over the fence in centerfield, giving Atlanta a 3-1 lead. The Raccoons had three baserunners in the fifth again – and also found another double play, this time a 6-4-3 sponsored by Romero, and stranded Moreno and Hunter on the corners when Maldonado flew out to Oliver, staying 3-1 behind through five.

Moreno had suffered through extensive innings in the fourth and fifth and was just shy of 100 pitches as the sixth inning began. He got two grounders before Holmes singled. Nichol struck out, but that would be all from the right-hander in this start, and then it was back to the battered bullpen. While the Raccoons couldn’t ******* score even with Nichol offering six walks in six innings, they continued to yield runs; Zack Kelly served up a 2-run homer to Joe Crim in the seventh to put the game out of reach. Two more runs scored in the eighth, with Billy Hester doubling to left against Kelly, and McKoy tripling to left facing Sims before scoring on a groundout. The Raccoons did nothing but nonsense at the plate for the remainder of the game. 7-1 Knights. Nickas 1-2, BB; Wilson (PH) 1-1;

(sits around the table with the crew during Sunday morning poker)

(while Honeypaws has already folded, Cristiano shows his pair of fives) … (Slappy reveals a pair of sevens) … What do I have? A giant wallowing hole where my soul should be. Also three queens. (drops cards on the table and reaches for the chips) … (freezes mid-motion once Chad shows his three kings)

(screams into pillow)

Game 3
ATL: RF Kristoff – 1B Jam. King – CF Oliver – 2B Crim – C Horner – SS McKoy – LF Montes – 3B Holmes – P J. Medina
POR: CF Romero – LF de Wit – SS Hunter – 3B Maldonado – 1B Wilson – C Kilmer – RF Cortes – 2B Lando – P Jackson

Wilson hit a solo jack to left for the first hit of the game, one down in the bottom 2nd. At that point Jackson had already walked two and had run 98 long counts, so the bullpen was hurrying on their oxen roast before they would all have to get burned again in another futile, dousing 6-1 loss. Jackson, however, also hit a 2-out RBI single, cashing Cortes in the same inning (just ignore that Cortes only reached by forcing out Kilmer with a ****** grounder), with Lando also having dropped a 2-out single. Romero grounded out to keep things at 2-0.

The Knights did not get a base hit until the fifth inning, but then landed a leadoff single to left from McKoy. Jackson retired Montes and Holmes before Medina hit a double to right to drive in McKoy. Man, Honeypaws, I tell you, I saw that coming. Kristoff reached base before Jamie King finally flew out, but Oliver opened the sixth with a double and was just narrowly stranded at third base, Romero throwing himself into a laced liner by McKoy, making the catch *and* surviving.

Jackson maintained the 2-1 lead through seven, then was hit for by Reyna in the bottom of that inning. Reyna whacked a 1-out single, then was very obviously stranded. Then Chuck Jones jammed again, though it wasn’t all of his own making. Oliver reached when Wilson dropped Lando’s throw on a grounder with one out. Crim flew out to right, but Horner singled, sending the tying run to third base. With McKoy up, the Raccoons reached for a right-hander, and with Jon Craig stepping onto the rubber, the Knights reached for a left-hander, Billy Hester. He tied the game with a first-pitch single that Hunter kept on the dirt, but couldn’t play anymore. Montes grounded out, but the damage was done again. The Coons’ pen kept the Knights even through regulation, with Kelly combining with craig for a scoreless ninth inning, which left the chance for a walkoff against Rich Ray – like that had ever worked before. Cortes, Lando, and Reyna went down in order in the ninth inning, bringing on more extra innings. (hits head on desk again and again) Kelly retired three in a row in the 10th inning, but I was beyond feeling any hope here. Romero flew out to center. Berto pinch-hit for Kelly and flew out to left. Hunter … walked. And stole second. And reached third on Zachary Krumholz’ throw that bounced in front of and then over Jeremy Camden at second base. Maldonado was in the box, chucked a bouncer past Crim, and that ended this miserable ballgame. 3-2 Coons. Reyna (PH) 1-2; Jackson 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 4 K and 1-2, RBI;

In other news

April 23 – NYC SP Casey Pinter (2-0, 1.16 ERA) 2-hits the surprised Loggers in a 5-0 Crusaders shutout.
April 25 – NYC 2B/1B Mario Briones (.318, 2 HR, 11 RBI) has five hits and as many RBI in a 10-1 rush of the Condors.
April 26 – LAP CL Jesse Allison (0-1, 6.75 ERA, 4 SV) will miss three months with shoulder inflammation.
April 26 – Out-hit 5-2 by the Wolves, the Miners still eek out a 4-0 win. It helps that one of their two base hits is a 3-run bomb by slugger John Marz (.290, 4 HR, 14 RBI).
April 26 – The Falcons out-last the Canadiens in a 16-inning game, winning 4-3. The only player to reach base safely more than twice in the game is VAN OF Jerry Outram (.400, 3 HR, 17 RBI), with two hits and three walks to his name.
April 27 – The Thunder receive LF/RF Adrian Wade (.100, 0 HR, 0 RBI) and cash from the Miners for SP/MR Marty Madera (3-1, 3.25 ERA).

FL Player of the Week: NAS C Jorge Santa Cruz (.345, 5 HR, 22 RBI), batting .474 (9-19) with 3 HR, 10 RBI
CL Player of the Week: LVA 1B/RF/LF/2B Pat Gurney (.400, 3 HR, 12 RBI), hitting .652 (15-23) with 1 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Uncle Augustus always said it’s important to learn an honorable trade. He watched out that all his kids acquired an honorable trade, even the smart ones that he sent to school past sixth grade, and even the girls. Cousin Herbert became a carpenter. Cousin Manfred learned the butcher trade before becoming an inventor – all he ever invented was a giant hole in the ground where once the shed stood. Cousin Frieda became a nurse, and then married and had four kids. Cousin Alberta became a hairdresser… and then married and had five kids.

I never learned a proper job. Now I am condemned to suffer through worse and worser with this wretched baseball franchise, rotten to the core and beyond reproach, for all eternity. It’s all I’m qualified to do.

(downs more Capt’n Coma)

I think I’m done with Carlos Cortes. That was quick. **** first baseman. We’ll just sit Berto and his fat *** on first base. If they can’t touch first base, they can’t ever get on base. Why has nobody ever thought of that??

Cosmo Trevino is hitting .327 in his rehab assignment in AAA. He will rejoin the team early next week, maybe even before his rehab assignment expires on Friday.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons have not improved their win total three years in a row since the 2022-2026 period.

That was from the lows of 71 wins in ’22 all the way up to a 94-68 campaign and a championship in ’26.

I’m not saying that we will culminate with a ring here. I’m saying we’re not gonna improve on 85 wins.

[Westheim]

Whatever you do, boys, please don’t play 70 innings over six games again? Thanks.

Raccoons (8-10) @ Thunder (10-9) – April 29-May 1, 2042

There was one more chance to stop April from turning entirely sour, but that would entail winning a pair from the Thunder to get to .500 for the month. Also, Oklahoma had won three in a row, while the Raccoons had not even finished there games in a row without running up on Portland city council curfew ordinances. The Thunder were seventh in runs scored and second in runs allowed. The Raccoons were first in most pointless innings shouldered by a so-so bullpen. And, oh, we got creamed by the Thunder last year, winning only two of nine games with them.

Projected matchups:
Corey Mathers (0-3, 6.38 ERA) vs. Eunice Suyumov (1-2, 1.93 ERA)
Rich Willett (2-2, 2.28 ERA) vs. Juan Ramos (1-3, 5.46 ERA)
Josh Brown (1-1, 2.16 ERA) vs. Alan Fleming (1-1, 2.17 ERA)

Left, right, right. The Critters at least had Manny Fernandez back at 100%.

Game 1
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 1B Wilson – C Kilmer – RF Cortes – 2B Lando – P Mathers
OCT: CF C. Vega – RF Heskett – C Adames – SS O’Keefe – LF E. Moore – 3B J. Allen – 1B Stedham – 2B Kuhn – P Suyumov

After getting two outs, Corey Mathers allowed six straight 2-out base hits, punching his ticket to the Alley Cats firmly and with great noise. Ethan Moore drove in one run, Jim “Mastodon” Allen cashed a pair, Jesse Stedham also got an RBI - always great to see failed Raccoons get back on the horse against the Raccoons – and Mathers walked Suyumov to load the bases for good measure before Carlos Vega grounded out to Nick Lando.

Mathers was left in the game through four innings, giving up a 3-run homer to Allen at some point, but it didn’t really matter since the Raccoons were not exactly rallying. Maldonado, Wilson, and Kilmer loaded the bases with singles in the fourth inning, but all the Raccoons got out of it was a sac fly by colossal disappointment Carlos Cortes, so when Mathers was yanked for a pinch-hitter to begin the top 5th, the Raccoons trailed by six. Cortes would come up in the sixth with Maldonado and Kilmer on second and first, respectively, and chunked a ball into an inning-ending 4-6-3 double play, earning himself a day off on Wednesday. The Raccoons completed the game with some relieving from Sims, Kelly, and Rella. Travis Sims, the useless sod, gave up a 2-run homer to Ethan Moore for the final tally. 9-1 Thunder. Maldonado 2-4; de Wit (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Two roster moves were made after this Tuesday disaster. Corey Mathers (0-4, 8.06 ERA) was very obviously axed this time. Now, Jason Wheatley had a 3.05 ERA in AAA, but was still considered wildly underdone. The Raccoons thus proceeded to gab Angelo Montano off the refuse file. At least Montano was reliably good for a 5-ish ERA… Also demoted was Nick Lando (.182, 0 HR, 1 RBI) to make room for Cosmo Trevino returning from his rehab assignment.

Game 2
POR: 1B A. Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – CF Romero – 2B Trevino – C Wilson – P Willett
OCT: CF C. Vega – RF Heskett – C Adames – SS O’Keefe – LF E. Moore – 3B J. Allen – 1B Stedham – 2B Kuhn – P J. Ramos

Jeff Wilson threw away a Jesus Adames grounder in the first inning, which in itself was not neckbreaking, but Chris O’Keefe’s subsequent moonshot off Rich Willett gave the Thunder a 2-0 lead and me the feeling that it was all for naught and I should go home. The Raccoons then started the top 2nd with three straight singles, Romero driving in Maldonado to fake a rally attempt. Cosmo then walked, which was the most stupid thing to do, since it loaded the bags with nobody out and everybody knew that there was no happiness to be gained from that situation… The Thunder conceded the lead on Wilson’s grounder to Allen, who started a 5-4-3 double play, then got Willett to pop out to end the inning.

The Coons did get a paw up in the third inning. Manny singled to right with two outs, and Brian Heskett bobbled the ball into an extra base. A wild pitch moved Manny to third, and Maldonado plated him with a single to take the 3-2 lead. The lead was neither earned nor deserved, so it was probably for the better that Willett got rid of it when he gave up a bomb to Allen in the bottom of the fifth, tying the game at three. …which made me wonder, why only the other teams hit home runs in these games. In fact, Willett had given up only two hits through six innings, and those had counted for three runs (one earned). The Raccoons began the seventh by putting Romero and Trevino on base, had six hits, five walks off Juan Ramos, and looked no closer to a solution about how to avoid the next 16-inning game. When Wilson flew out to shallow left, the Raccoons called the double steal, which was executed well enough. Willett then hit a poor roller near the third base line that “Mastodon” Allen tried to wait out going foul, which it never did, while Romero scored to break the tie. Berto flipped an RBI single to right, 5-3, but Hunter whiffed and Manny flew out to left to end the inning. O’Keefe opened the bottom 7th with a single to right, but would be doubled up by Allen before long. Maldo walked, stole second, and scored on a Romero sac fly in the eighth inning to tack on a run, which turned out to be necessary, for when Willett yielded to his former and current teammate Wyatt Hamill, the Titans double agent had nothing better to do than giving up a single to Heskett and a homer to Adames to axe the lead to a skinny run. O’Keefe singled. Allen singled with two outs. Anybody make a play? Anyone?? Wilson made, zinging PH Adrian Wade’s roller to first in time to end the game before it could get REALLY ugly. 6-5 Coons. Fernandez 2-5; Maldonado 2-3, BB, RBI; Romero 1-2, BB, 2 RBI; Trevino 1-2, 2 BB; Willett 8.0 IP, 3 H, 3 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 9 K, W (3-2) and 1-3, RBI;

Game 3
POR: 1B A. Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – CF Reyna – C Kilmer – 2B Trevino – RF Cortes – P Brown
OCT: CF C. Vega – 2B Kuhn – C Adames – SS O’Keefe – 3B J. Allen – LF E. Moore – RF Stedham – 1B Kilgallen – P Fleming

The Raccoons finally hit a home run, too, Tony Hunter to right in the third inning. It was their first hit of the game, too, after Cosmo had walked, Brown had reached on a 2-base error by Allen, and Berto had brought in the game’s first run with a grounder to second. Hunter’s 2-out, 2-piece made him the eighth Raccoon to go yard this season – and we were still looking for somebody to hit something as novel as a SECOND homer this year. The Hunter homer also remained the Coons’ only hit through five innings, while Josh Brown maintained the 3-0 lead, sprinkling three singles to the Thunder in the same amount of innings.

The Raccoons were still on one base hit in the seventh inning, but Brown walked Ethan Moore to begin the bottom 7th, then gave up RBI hits to Matt Kilgallen, a double to center, and Carlos Vega, a soft 2-out single. Jon Craig replaced him to get the final out of the inning, then bunted into a force out at second base that got Cosmo (leadoff single!!) erased in the eighth. He also put O’Keefe on base in the bottom 8th. With two outs Brent Clark came on to wave in the tying run, surrendering a triple to Ethan Moore that caromed around long enough in centerfield to get a pizza and eat it, too. Wade grounded out to strand the go-ahead run on third base. Lefty Roland Warner then struck out Hunter to begin the top 9th, struck out Manny to continue the top 9th, and hung a breaking ball to Maldo that was hit some 390 feet to give Portland another lead, 4-3 on three hits. Romero struck out in Reyna’s place to end the inning, while Wyatt Hamill returned with a vengeance and a pair of leadoff singles surrendered to Kilgallen and Adrian Ringel. Vega popped out, Al Martell flew out to center, advancing the tying run to third base. Jesus Adames was hitting .383 with five homers and I had no doubt that he would end the charade one way or another. Probably another! The 0-1 pitch – blasted to left – ballgame. 6-4 Thunder. Trevino 1-2, BB;

Raccoons (9-12) @ Canadiens (15-7) – May 2-4, 2042

The good thing about the team travelling to the frozen wastes of the North again was that I didn’t have to see their sorry faces in person for three days, and it would give me time to hatch my murder plans for several people on the roster that were hard to get rid of otherwise. Oh yes, the damn Elks were lodging in first place now, four wins in a row, best in runs scored, fifth in runs allowed. They had already swept the rancid Critters once this year, and I had no doubt they’d do it again.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (1-1, 5.40 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (3-0, 2.15 ERA)
Jake Jackson (0-1, 5.19 ERA) vs. David Arias (1-2, 4.44 ERA)
Angelo Montano (0-0) vs. Paul Medvec (2-1, 3.46 ERA)

All right-handers, and probably three massacres.

Game 1
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – 2B Trevino – C Wilson – 1B Cortes – P Moreno
VAN: 3B G. Ortiz – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – LF J. Simmons – SS R. Johnston – P Sealock

Both teams left runners on the corners in the first; Hunter and Fernandez were stranded when Maldonado lined out to Ryan Johnston and Reyna flew out to Justin Simmons, injury replacement for the already-injured long-term commitment of Melvin Hernandez. Greg Ortiz singled, Timóteo Clemente walked, and Jerry Outram hit into a double play for the damn Elks before Dan Schneller was hit by a pitch. Victor Vazquez grounded out to Cosmo to make it all go away. The same happened I the second inning to all the faint hopes that the stupid brown-clad time might somehow tumble into a lucky win on the weekend. Moreno was taken apart with five hits and a walk against him, and the damn Elks scored a crisp five runs. Ballgame.

By the completion of five innings, both teams had scored one additional run for a 6-1 tally. Moreno had been socked for 11 base hits and two walks, and one more run in the fourth that wouldn’t matter The Raccoons had scored a run in the third inning, with Romero drawing a leadoff walk and scoring after singles by Manny and Maldo. Yeah, we totally showed them by denying them a shutdown inning after the massacre…! Honeypaws, would you be so kind to hand me the rope over there?

One more run fell out of Sims in the bottom 6th, loading the bases with nobody out by walking Ortiz and Clemente ahead of an Outram single to center. Schneller plated a run by means of a double play, which was very kind of him. Top 7th, Cortes, Gutierrez, and Romero hit singles in order to load the bases with one out against Sealock. Thankfully I wasn’t stupid enough to believe in a big knock to get back into the game here. All we got was a Hunter sac fly. Manny walked to fill the bases again, but Maldonado grounded out to Johnston. The Elks took revenge in the eighth, exploding Zack Kelly for four runs. Greg Ortiz, unretired in the game, drew a leadoff walk and scored on Schneller’s 2-out single. Vazquez walked, and Johnny Lopez ripped a 3-run homer. Romero reached base with a leadoff single in the ninth. Hunter hit into a double play. 11-2 Canadiens. Romero 2-4, BB; Fernandez 2-4, BB; Ramos (PH) 1-1; Cortes 2-4;

The good news? Only three pitchers were used in this blowout – yay!

Game 2
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – 2B Trevino – 1B Ramos – C Kilmer – P Jackson
VAN: LF Mann – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – 3B R. Ashley – SS R. Johnston – P D. Arias

The first major hit of the middle game on Saturday was when Ryan Johnston got beaned out of the game by Jackson, which I did not necessarily approve of as it might make Jerry Outram only angrier. Elijah Peele replaced Johnston at short, but the game remained scoreless despite Jackson’s befuddled 2-out walk to the opposing pitcher that followed. Jackson continued to scatter two runners in every inning, allowing Clemente and Outram aboard on leadoff singles in the third inning before somehow getting three poor outs that plated nobody. The Coons had Hunter on twice his first two times up. He was doubled up by Fernandez in the top of the first, while Arias moved him to second base with a wild pitch before that could happen again in the fourth inning. Manny then walked, putting two on with nobody out. Maldonado flew out, while an infield single by Reyna loaded the bags for Cosmo, 2-for-8 since his return, but with a .455 OBP, and I wouldn’t have minded a walk as I sat on the couch at home smearing as many peanut butter toasts as I could only to see Honeypaws gobble up most of them. Cosmo poked at the first pitch and hit a dinker into no man’s land for an RBI single, the first marker on the board. Berto also poked at the first pitch and hit a solid RBI single to right, 2-0, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that they could at times be a tad more patient. Kilmer, lost in translation, hung around long enough to strike out, and Jackson popped out to short to strand a full set.

Top 5th, Romero led off with a single. He stole his way to third base while behind him the bags filled with Manny (nailed) and Maldo (walk), bringing up Reyna with one out. Come on, a fat hit! He struck out, but Cosmo had the common decency to stick his old man bum into a wayward 1-2 pitch and to get plunked for an extra run, 3-0. Berto grinded out a walk for another run, and Kilmer grounded out to short. In the sixth, Arias walked Romero for his own exit, stage right, while Juan Dias surrendered the run on Tony Hunter’s RBI triple. Of course, Hunter was then stranded when both Manny and Maldo made poor outs… Schneller, Vazquez, and Peele all singled off Jackson to load the bags with stinking Elks in the bottom 6th, but PH Steve Jorgensen found Cosmo with a grounder to strand all of the menagerie.

The Coons tacked on with Berto again in the seventh. Reyna opened with a leadoff walk off righty Matt Fries in the top 7th, moved up on a grounder by Cosmo, and scored when Berto singled to right and Vazquez overran the ball. Even Kilmer then found a hole for a single to left…! The Coons stuck with Jackson to hit though to scratch a few more outs with him (on 94 pitches) in a 6-0 game, which sounded defensible at that point, but led to them not scoring Berto from third base. He got two more groundouts before Chuck Jones got rid of Outram without much fuss for the bottom 7th. After that, four outs from Josh Rella and two more from Brent Clark completed a combined 8-hit shutout of the revolting Elks. 6-0 Furballs! Hunter 3-4, BB, 3B, RBI; Trevino 2-4, 2 RBI; Ramos 2-4, BB, 3 RBI; Kilmer 2-5; Jackson 6.2 IP, 7 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 5 K, W (1-1) and 1-4;

For Sunday’s rubber game, the Raccoons would not see Medvec, but rather Mike Mihalik (5-0, 2.86 ERA), the CL’s Pitcher of the Month of April. Against Angelo Montano.

Oh well, sometimes it’s an honor just to be nominated.

Game 3
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – 1B Ramos – C Kilmer – RF Cortes – P Montano
VAN: LF Mann – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – 3B G. Ortiz – SS Peele – P Mihalik

Hunter hit a double in the first inning that went underappreciated by the following hitters, and instead the damn Elks took a *shocking* 1-0 lead on Montano in the second inning, Peele singling home Vazquez with two outs. Two more runs got on the board in the fourth, with a Johnny Lopez homer and then Ortiz tripling into the corner and scoring on another Peele single. Beaning Johnston had not been the greatest move by Jake Jackson, as it turned out… Even an intentional walk would not have helped – Mike Mihalik singled, too, before Jeremy Mann finally flew out to end the inning. The Raccoons very much did nothing, even on the rare lucky breaks, like when Montano reached base on an uncaught third strike to begin the sixth inning. Romero and Hunter made useless outs. Manny singled. Maldonado flew out casually. The seventh began with Cosmo grounding out on a 3-0 pitch. Apparently a new hip reduced baseball smarts. Berto singled. Kilmer smacked into a 6-4-3.

But the damn Elks also let Montano off a potentially much sharper hook. They battered him for ten hits in six and a third, but couldn’t get more than their three runs, so when Mihalik leaked de Wit and Romero on base with one out in the eighth, the tying run was at the plate. Hunter hit a 1-0 pitch to the right side and Schneller cut it off with a lunging grab, but had no play – bases loaded for Manny Fernandez, who hit the 0-1 pathetically near the rightfield line, except that Mihalik and Clemente got into each other’s antlers fielding it and again nobody had a shot at a Critter – all paws were safe and the Coons were on the board in a 3-1 game, admittedly in the weirdest way possible. Boy, Honeypaws, I can’t wait for the double play liner to resolve this mess. No such luck, but Maldonado was held to a sac fly to Vazquez. Cosmo grounded out on a 3-2 pitch to keep the score the same, 3-2. Brent Clark struck out two and got a harmless fly from Peele in the bottom 8th, giving the Raccoons one last chance against ex-Critter Josh Boles and his 1.74 ERA in the ninth inning. Berto grounded out, but Kilmer walked. Cortes grounded out, sending the tying run to second base. De Wit was still in the game from pinch-hitting earlier, batting ninth, and with two outs in the inning – he struck out. 3-2 Canadiens. Hunter 2-4, 2B; Fernandez 2-4, RBI; de Wit (PH) 1-2;

In other news

April 30 – SAC 2B/SS Oscar Aguirre (.213, 1 HR, 6 RBI) will miss about six weeks with a fractured rib.
May 2 – SFB 1B Danny Cruz (.200, 1 HR, 6 RBI) was out with a broken thumb and was expected to miss a month.
May 2 – NAS LF/RF/1B Sean Ashley (.296, 3 HR, 15 RBI) would also miss a month with a broken thumb.
May 2 – The Scorpions expect LF/RF Mike Preble (.238, 4 HR, 12 RBI) to be out for the season with a torn medial collateral ligament.
May 4 – The Buffaloes barely outlast the Capitals, 13-12, with TOP 1B Chris Delagrange (.222, 4 HR, 11 RBI) going deep twice and driving in six runs.

FL Player of the Week: RIC LF/RF Pablo Gonzalez (.351, 4 HR, 12 RBI), hitting .471 (8-17) with 2 HR, 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN 2B Dan Schneller (.323, 4 HR, 19 RBI), batting .524 (11-21) with 2 HR, 7 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: LAP OF Juan Benavides (.382, 5 HR, 18 RBI)
CL Hitter of the Month: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.424, 3 HR, 21 RBI)
FL Pitcher of the Month: TOP SP Josh Bourgeois (4-0, 1.77 ERA)
CL Pitcher of the Month: VAN SP Mike Mihalik (5-0, 2.86 ERA)
FL Rookie of the Month: SFW C/1B David Pinedo (.253, 0 HR, 10 RBI)
CL Rookie of the Month: LVA C Kevin Prow (.348, 2 HR, 14 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Wyatt Hamill saved all of two games in the month of April. And it was not really his fault, either. The Adames homer on Wednesday were the first earned runs on his ledger in ’42.

Of course, the Adames homer on Thursday was by far the more bitter one.

So. Quo vadis, procyones? There are a lot of things that aren’t working out here. Getting Cosmo back did not inject winningness into the team, either. We axed another #5 starter by the end of April. The bullpen is sturdy unless it counts. The lineup… I don’t even know where to begin. And the Salvation Army won’t collect pelts until the fall, either.

Fun Fact: Yoshi Yamada remains the Raccoons’ worst hitter by OPS of all time for the time being.

…meaning nobody has more at-bats (636) and a lower OPS (.483) than the 2005 Continental League stolen base champion, who was a .198 hitter for his career just like Nick Lando, who dropped his OPS to .503 with one last futile appearance on Tuesday before being replaced with Cosmo Trevino. Except for Yamada, nobody has more at-bats (263) and a lower OPS (excluding pitchers) than Lando.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (10-14) @ Loggers (16-9) – May 5-8, 2042

This was not a good time to play the Loggers in their shack, but then again, the last three years had not seen the Raccoons having a good time against the Loggers even once. We had lost three straight season series against them, including 6-12 last year. Right now, the Loggers were eighth in runs scored, but allowed the fewest runs (a mere 2.7 per game), so the Raccoons’ already foundering lineup would have a tough chew ahead of it.

Projected matchups:
Rich Willett (3-2, 2.02 ERA) vs. Sergio Piedra (3-1, 2.53 ERA)
Josh Brown (1-1, 2.27 ERA) vs. Bobby Freels (3-0, 1.24 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (1-2, 6.56 ERA) vs. Joe Hicks (1-4, 4.11 ERA)
Jake Jackson (1-1, 4.13 ERA) vs. TBD

Three right-handers, and a question mark for the fourth game, with assumed starter Adam Giovenco (1-1, 1.86 ERA) day-to-day with an oblique issue. Also injured were 1B Aaron Brayboy and outfielders Tony Lira and Jonathan Fleming, all on the DL.

Freels was a 23-year-old sophomore with almost as many walks as strikeouts that was ripe for a beating, but I wouldn’t bet on the Critters handing it to him.

Game 1
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – 1B Ramos – C Wilson – RF Cortes – P Willett
MIL: CF Reeves – RF Cannizzard – SS Del Vecchio – 3B Paul – LF Hertenstein – C Sicco – 2B V. Acosta – 1B M. Monroe – P Piedra

The top of the first saw a walk, a balk, catcher’s interference – and Maldonado hit into an inning-ending double play. The Raccoons loaded the bags in the third inning then, with a leadoff walk drawn by Carlos Cortes, while Jared Paul failed to turn Rich Willett’s sac bunt into an out anywhere, and Tony Romero chucked a single to right. That also meant the bags were loaded with nobody out, so there was no hope to score! In terms of what actually happened, Tony Hunter grounded to Victor Acosta for what should have been two, but turned out to be none with a throwing error past Ted Del Vecchio. The Coons got a run there, then got another one when Manny Fernandez hit into a 6-4-3 double play…… Maldonado struck out.

At least Willett looked FINE, if not exactly dominant. He didn’t get strike threes in general, which came back to bite in the fifth inning, which Valentino Sicco had opened with a double to right-center. He was at third base with two outs and the pitcher batting, and as so often, the numb-skulled Raccoons hurler of the day surrendered a 2-out RBI single to his opposite. Bill Reeves then grounded out to leave it 2-1 at the completion of five. Tim Cannizzard opened the sixth with a single, but Jared Paul hit into a double play to end that inning. The Coons sat on two base hits until the seventh, when Jeff Wilson singled to right with one gone, knocking out Piedra in the process. Ron Purcell snuffed out Cortes and Willett, who gave up another hit to Sicco in the bottom of the inning, a single to right on which Sicco refused to stop at first base and was axed out by Cortes at second base. The Coons got Romero and Fernandez to the corners in the eighth inning, but Maldonado hit into a fielder’s choice and Trevino popped out to strand the insurance run(s).

Willett remained in some sort of control of the game, retiring Miles Monroe, Felipe Gomez, and Bill Reeves in order in the bottom 8th, all on soft contact. He was on 92 pitches at that point, and given Wyatt Hamill’s last few outings we were not averse to just keeping him in there… Kurt Crater removed the Coons’ 6-7-8 hitters in order in the ninth, which prevented Willett to be removed for a pinch-hitter, too. He struck out Cannizzard in a full count to begin the bottom 9th, then got the monster Del Vecchio to pop out on the first pitch, his 100th of the game. That brought up Jared Paul, hitting .207 and 0-for-3 on the day. He launched a drive to left-center, with Manny Fernandez shaking the old hindpaws to chase it down in the gap and he made the catch!! 2-1 Critters. Romero 2-3, BB; Willett 9.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, W (4-2);

Since no off day was offering itself this week, the Raccoons would give everybody a day off at some point. We’d start with the two middle infielders on Tuesday, neither of whom was hitting anything much in the last few days.

Game 2
POR: 1B Ramos – CF Romero – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – C Kilmer – RF Cortes – 2B Gutierrez – SS Nickas – P Brown
MIL: 2B V. Acosta – LF Borchard – 3B Paul – SS Del Vecchio – RF Hertenstein – C F. Gomez – CF Cannizzard – 1B Torri – P Freels

The Raccoons took a 2-0 lead again, and this time it was even earned! Maldonado reached to begin the second inning, and Carlos Cortes crushed a baseball into the stands in leftfield, lifting his batting average to an awe-inspiring .160 *and* joining Maldonado as team leaders with two (2) longballs each. (mutters something else under his breath) The Loggers made up a run right away with a Del Vecchio leadoff single in the bottom 2nd and a walk issued to Hertenstein, then a balk and a Cannizzard sac fly, but crucially, Josh Brown had struck out Gomez in between, keeping the damage to that one run. Dan Torri was walked intentionally and Freels grounded out to end the inning.

The Coons drew three walks in the next two innings without getting anywhere, while Del Vecchio singled and was at second base in the bottom 4th when Cannizzard hit a 2-out single to right. Wretched Del Vecchio was sent around to home plate, but thrown out by Cortes to end the inning. Portland instead tacked on; Romero ripped a triple into the corner in rightfield with one gone in the fifth, then scored on Manny Fernandez’ single to center. Manny stole second, leading to an intentional walk to Maldonado to get the struggling pair of Kilmer and Cortes up again, hitting .157 between them, with 3 HR and 15 RBI. Kilmer singled on a 2-2 pitch, loading the bases, and Cortes grounded to left, where Paul cut off the ball, but bobbled it slightly, and his throw to first was late – RBI infield single, the official scorer ruled, rather than an error. In any case, the score was 4-1. Then Omar Gutierrez chucked it into a double play to kill a still fat chance.

The score through seven remained 4-1, while Brown was also done at that point, throwing just over 100 pitches this time out. He allowed four hits and walked as many in the outing. Jon Craig pitched a competent eighth for nothing but a Jared Paul single. He had entered in the #1 spot as Berto was removed for D after the top of the eighth inning, despite the #1 spot leading off the ninth inning. Cosmo pinch-hit there, singled to left, stole second, and made it to third on a passed ball with nobody out. Romero ended up walking and was caught stealing, but Manny cashed the runner with another RBI single to center. Maldonado flew out, but Kilmer rocked a homer to left-center with two outs. Bottom 9th, Zack Kelly came on and retired nobody. Hertenstein walked, Gomez homered to left, and Cannizzard walked again. Rella replaced him, walked PH Sicco with one out, and here came Hamill in what had gotten from a 6-run lead to a save opportunity. A grounder from Vic Acosta solved it all, right at Nickas, and 6-4-3 the Loggers went out. 7-3 Raccoons. Trevino (PH) 1-1; Fernandez 2-4, BB, 2 RBI; Kilmer 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Cortes 2-5, HR, 3 RBI; Brown 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB, 5 K, W (2-1);

Despite the success of this game, Cortes got a day off next, along with Maldonado.

Game 3
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – RF Reyna – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 3B de Wit – 2B Trevino – 1B Ramos – P Moreno
MIL: CF Reeves – RF Cannizzard – SS Del Vecchio – 3B Paul – LF Hertenstein – C Sicco – 2B V. Acosta – 1B M. Aguirre – P Hicks

Portland scored out of the gate again, with Hunter hitting a single and Manny cashing him with a double up the leftfield line in the first inning. That was before Nelson Moreno got his dirty paws involved, though, and Bill Reeves homered the game tied on his very first pitch of the game. That was not the last rocket launched off him, but nothing else left the yard or got past an outfielder at least in that inning… Instead he cost his team a run by popping up a bunt in the top 2nd, which kept de Wit and Berto on second and first before Romero’s 2-out double to center. Berto by now lacked the speed – spheres tend to take a while to build momentum – to score from first base on any old double, and while Hunter walked to fill the bags, Reyna grounded out to keep it a 2-1 game.

Of course it didn’t stay 2-1. It took the Loggers til the fourth inning, but then they tore up Moreno for three runs. Hertenstein singled. Sicco was hit by the pitch. Acosta ripped a 2-run double, and Mike Aguirre singled home Aguirre to get them the 4-2 lead. Moreno would make it through six, battered and bruised as usual, then was hit for to begin the seventh inning against Hicks, who had walked four and whiffed only one (Kilmer), but was still holding on there. He retired Maldonado, Romero, and Hunter in order in the inning. Instead, Reeves doubled and Cannizzard singled off Chuck Jones to tack on a run in the bottom 7th. The Coons had the tying run at the dish in the eighth when Kilmer singled and de Wit walked with two outs, but Cosmo grounded out. Those were the Raccoons’ last runners in the game. 5-2 Loggers. Hunter 1-2, 2 BB;

For the Thursday game, Adam Giovenco was good to go, but we had already beaten a guy with a 1-ish ERA in this series, so why worry?

The Raccoons would rest Berto and Manny in this game.

Game 4
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Reyna – 3B Maldonado – 1B Wilson – RF Cortes – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – P Jackson
MIL: CF Reeves – RF Cannizzard – SS Del Vecchio – 3B Paul – LF Hertenstein – C Sicco – 2B V. Acosta – 1B Torri – P Giovenco

Jackson threw 31 pitches in a largely pointless first inning, putting the first for Loggers on base (although Reeves was thrown out at home plate), punching out Hertenstein in a big spot, but then walking in a run anyway against Sicco with two outs, before Acosta grounded out to Cosmo. Portland also stacked the bags in the second inning, when Giovenco walked Maldo and Wilson, and Cosmo hit a 1-out single. Kilmer popped out foul, though, and Jackson was carved up on strikes. The Trevino single was the only Critters hit through four innings, while the Loggers piled up eight on Jake Jackson, including three singles for a run – RBI for Reeves – in the fourth inning, taking a 2-0 lead in the process. The top 5th opened with Cosmo, who singled to center. He advanced on two groundouts, then scored when Romero singled to center with two outs. Oh, look – the rest of the team has decided to show up after all! Giovenco walked Hunter after that, but Reyna grounded out to end the inning.

The Coons *did* tie the game eventually, though. The sixth began with three rockets to left or left-center hit by the 4-5-6 batters. Wilson’s was caught by Hertenstein, but the other two dropped for a pair of doubles and a 2-2 tie. Cosmo was then nicked, and Kilmer found a double play, and this thin booze they served at Loggers Ballpark could not nearly combat my drilling headache. Giovenco and Reeves hit singles in the bottom 6th to knock out Jackson then, and when Brent Clark replaced him, he gave up a 2-out, 2-run single to ******* Del Vecchio, that ******* piece of ****. Down 4-2 became down 4-3 when Jay de Wit hit for Clark to begin the seventh inning and socked a home run to left, but then the next six Critters were sat down. The Coons kept the Loggers in place with Craig, Jones, and Sims, but still trailed 4-3 when they encountered Kurt Crater in the ninth inning, *and* with the bottom of the order (with de Wit still in the #9 hole, Reyna having been removed). Cosmo opened with an infield single, though, after which Kilmer was hit for by Manny Fernandez, who struck out. De Wit came up, hit a grounder to second, to short, to first, …. (sigh) … 4-3 Loggers. Trevino 3-3; de Wit (PH) 1-2, HR, RBI;

Raccoons (12-16) @ Miners (13-14) – May 9-11, 2042

The Miners had lost three in a row and both teams were languishing in fifth place in their divisions. They were seventh in runs scored and runs allowed with a -6 run differential (Coons: -21). Their rotation was the porous part of the pitching staff, while the pen was sturdy. The starters ranked second from the bottom by ERA. They also knew how to hit dingers, sitting third in the power department, so I saw more pain forthcoming on that front. We had not played them last year, but had won the last two meetings in 2039-40.

Projected matchups:
Angelo Montano (0-1, 4.26 ERA) vs. Marty Madera (4-1, 4.32 ERA)
Rich Willett (4-2, 1.81 ERA) vs. Jonathan Dykstra (3-3, 4.69 ERA)
Josh Brown (2-1, 2.09 ERA) vs. Roberto Pruneda (2-4, 5.44 ERA)

We would stalk around their only southpaw and best starter by ERA, Bill McMichael (2-1, 2.67 ERA) in this series. Instead we’d see Dykstra, former Raccoons prospect, who was once traded to Pittsburgh to acquire Kurt Wall in ’34.

Tony Romero was the last regular that needed a day off and would get it on Friday.

Game 1
POR: 1B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – RF Reyna – 3B de Wit – 2B Trevino – C Wilson – P Montano
PIT: 3B Iverson – 2B J. Cruz – SS Lastrade – 1B Marz – CF Burch – C Wiersma – RF Serad – LF del Toto – P Madera

The Raccoons opened the game with singles by Berto and Hunter, then struck out and found a double play. They didn’t get a hit again before Angelo Montano, who resisted for longer than I would have guessed, imploded to the Miners’ Ted Del Vecchio, disgusting rat Ken Wiersma. John Marz walked, Kevin Burch landed a hit to left, and Wiersma bombed a 3-piece in the bottom 4th to put the game in the books. Portland didn’t find another hit until Tony Hunter was nicked by Madera to begin the sixth inning, which Manny Fernandez followed up with an angry homer to center, cutting the gap to 3-2. Reyna would hit a 1-out double in the inning, but was stranded on two poor groundouts. Zack Kelly had a brief cameo in the bottom 7th, walked two, and was only narrowly bailed out by Josh Rella and Manny Fernandez, stalking down a 2-out gapper by Kevin Burch to strand the runners. Manny and Reyna then hit singles in the eighth to get to the corners with two outs, but Burch easily caught de Wit’s fly to center. For the ninth, it would be ex-Coon Antonio Prieto, having yet to allow a run on the season in 11.1 innings. Cosmo grounded out. Gutierrez hit for Wilson and struck out. Cortes hit for Brent Clark and flew out to center. 3-2 Miners. Fernandez 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Reyna 2-3, 2B;

******* hopeless.

Roster move for Saturday: Zack Kelly (1-0, 6.75 ERA) was sent to St. Pete with 10 walks and 11 strikeouts in 13.1 innings. The 40-man roster was full, so options were limited right now; we brought up right-hander Cory Lambert, being 2-1 with a 2.92 ERA in swingman duty for St. Pete. The 27-year-old Lambert had made four starts for the 2040 Coons, being bombed for a 7.20 ERA. Anybody remember the times when we always had waterproof bullpens?

Me neither.

Game 2
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – RF Cortes – 1B Ramos – P Willett
PIT: 3B Iverson – CF Burch – C Petroni – 1B Marz – SS Rowell – 2B J. Cruz – LF Dirks – RF del Toro – P Dykstra

Shy hopes for a skinny W were bombed to ******* hell in the second inning. Rick Rowell took a pitch to the bum, Jose Cruz walked, and Rusty Dirks singled to load the bases. Manny del Toro struck out in a big spot, but with two outs Willett served up a 2-run double to Dykstra (…) and then a 3-run homer to Jonathan Iverson for a 5-0 Miners lead. And … ballgame. Burch and Giampaolo Petroni proceeded to reach base, and Willett was yanked in frustration right there. John Marz grounded out against the newly-arrived Lambert, making the first and last outs of the inning. The highlight for Portland soon enough turned out to be Lambert, who pitched 4.1 innings of scoreless relief, although not without giving up another two hits to Dykstra, which was one of those weird revenge rampages; going 3-for-3 with a 4-hit shutout through six innings, eight years after being traded in an ill-advised deadline move. Good for him. (turns back to the barkeeper) You didn’t understand me. *Hydrogen* *cyanide* … *in that drink*!

Dykstra would finally make an out in the seventh inning, flying out to center against Chuck Jones with the bases loaded and two gone already. Never mind that Jones had already waved in a run charged to Rella with a Rusty Dirks single, and del Toro reached on a Hunter error. The Coons had sunk low enough by now to have Hamill pitch the eighth inning in a 6-run loss. The Raccoons were retired in order in the ninth inning by Dykstra, who finished a 4-hit shutout. 6-0 Miners. Lambert 4.1 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Game 3
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – RF Reyna – 1B Ramos – P Brown
PIT: RF Dirks – 2B J. Cruz – SS Lastrade – 1B Marz – CF Burch – C Wiersma – 3B Iverson – LF Duncan – P Pruneda

The Raccoons cobbled together two runs on four singles in the first inning, and that was even with Romero being caught stealing. Maldonado scored Hunter from third base on a fielder’s choice before Trevino and Kilmer hit a pair of 2-out singles to get Maldonado home. Reyna flew out to Nick Duncan to end the inning. Josh Brown then got raked immediately. Dirks lined out to him to begin the bottom 1st, but Cruz and Omar Lastrade ripped hard singles, Marz crushed a double to tie the game, and OF COURSE ******* Ken Wiersma landed a 2-out single to give Pittsburgh the lead. Brown also could not get the bunt down in the second after Berto hit a leadoff single. Berto stole second base somehow, his first of the year, and scored on a 2-out single by Hunter to get the teams even at three. The inning ended with Manny popping out.

The score remained 3-3 through five, though while the scoring stopped, the loud hits of Brown really didn’t. The Raccoons were just luckier to get a defender in the way. Brown then got in the way in the sixth inning, coming to bat after 2-out hits had put Reyna and Ramos into scoring position. We looked at the pen and shrugged; it would be hard to squeeze out four innings even if they did take the lead. And since when do we get hits with runners in scoring position anyway? Brown was left to hit for himself, swung and missed twice, and then somehow chucked an 0-2 pitch over a jumping Iverson for a 2-run double. No, I don’t understand baseball. Baseball is weird. Romero singled up the rightfield line, scoring Brown from second base on a clumsy play by Rusty Dirks, taking the lead to 6-3, then was caught stealing to end the inning. Brown went on to get another five outs before running out of steam in the seventh inning, leaving with two outs and Nick Duncan on third base. Jon Craig got Jose Cruz to ground out to keep him stranded, then retired the Miners in order in the eighth. Hamill was in for the ninth, got two outs, then allowed a single to Duncan. Manny del Toro pinch-hit in the #9 hole and grounded out. 6-3 Coons. Romero 2-5, 2B, RBI; Kilmer 2-4, RBI; Reyna 2-4; Ramos 2-3, BB; Brown 6.2 IP, 8 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 1 BB, 2 K, W (3-1) and 1-3, 2B, 2 RBI;

In other news

May 5 – BOS 1B Alex Zacarias (.233, 6 HR, 13 RBI) hits three home runs in an 8-6 win over the Crusaders in New York, driving in five runs as major contributor for the W. The achievement comes with an asterisk, as Zacarias does not land his third homer until the 12th and deciding inning, a 2-piece that ends up standing up as the margin of victory.
May 7 – NAS 3B/SS Brad Critzer (.244, 3 HR, 8 RBI) goes deep for the only run in the Blue Sox’ 1-0 win over the Capitals.
May 9 – Topeka super utility Felix Marquez (.321, 3 HR, 11 RBI) lands five hits, including two homers and a double, in a 4-3 win over the Aces. The bundle of base hits include the 12th-inning walkoff home run off the Aces’ Brian Frain (0-1, 5.75 ERA).
May 10 – VAN OF Jerry Outram (.413, 3 HR, 25 RBI) is expected to be out two weeks with a knee sprain.
May 10 – The Cyclones pick up 2B/1B Thomas Gould (.261, 3 HR, 13 RBI) from the Bayhawks for SP Rafael Pedraza (2-3, 3.89 ERA).
May 11 – SAC OF/2B Alfonso Cedillo (.373, 3 HR, 9 RBI) has put together a 20-game hitting streak with a ninth-inning single in a 10-2 loss to the Knights.

FL Player of the Week: CIN RF/LF Juan Brito (.290, 3 HR, 18 RBI), batting .500 (9-18) with 2 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: BOS 1B Alex Zacarias (.257, 6 HR, 15 RBI), hitting .379 (11-29) with 3 HR, 7 RBI

Complaints and stuff

No, I don’t think this mess is fixable. Maybe if the ballpark collapses upon them and kills the entire roster. That would fix the mess. Other than that…

We will come home only briefly to play the Gold Sox, then skip back out to Indianapolis for the weekend, then return home again. Who made this schedule??

Not that it matters who they play. They can deliver a stinker against any team. Which makes me just ever so slightly concerned for our annual showcase event with the Willamette Institute for the Limbless and the Blind on May 26.

Fun Fact: 26 years ago today, Tim Robinson hit three home runs as the Titans downed the Buffaloes, 15-8, becoming the first Titan to achieve this feat.

In between Robinson and Zacarias this week there was only Adam Braun against the Indians in 2024.

Robinson, catcher by trade, was a third-year player when he did the honors to the Buffos. He hit 29 bombs that year while batting .268. He never fancied ball four, which means despite hitting 235 homers in his career and hitting .260 overall he never reached an .800 OPS in a qualifying season. He still was an All Star four times and won a ring with the Titans in 2025, during his second stint with the team. In between he was with the Falcons for a while. After ’25 he bounced around various teams before retiring after just two games with the ’29 Warriors, a .260/.319/.427 hitters with 235 HR and 820 RBI.

Adam Braun won Player of the Year honors in 2025, hitting .289 with 25 homers and 101 RBI for the Titans. He also took part in five championships with them (2022-25, 2031), in between snatching a sixth ring with the 2029 Condors. He won three Gold Gloves, too. For his 14-year career he hit .270/.359/.414 with 116 HR and 641 RBI. He drew about as many walks (550) as times he struck out (551).

[pgjocki]

What's the over/under that the Coons will be 15 Games out by July 4th? My family is scheduling a bbq and whoever loses three bet has to hold three fireworks while Three Fingered Joe lights them.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

[Westheim]

(watches from the big window and with bleak expression as a soaking wet Nelson Moreno throws batting practice in driving rain, underhand, and 20 feet past an equally wet pitching coach, from the Raccoons Ballpark mound, then turns around)

Originally Posted by pgjocki

What's the over/under that the Coons will be 15 Games out by July 4th? My family is scheduling a bbq and whoever loses three bet has to hold three fireworks while Three Fingered Joe lights them.

I ran this by our experts, and Cristiano says that if you have really good health insurance, you should pick the under, because prosthetic claws today are naturally superior to human appendages anyway.

Oh, let's lighten up everybody - at least we're not the Aces!

[Westheim]

You have a surprise for me, Maud? What is it? Is it at least two paws high and does it have five layers, alternatingly fluffy chocolate cake and sweet vanilla cream?

Oh. Hi. Nick.

Raccoons (13-18) vs. Gold Sox (14-17) – May 13-15, 2042

The foundering Raccoons hosted the Gold Sox for a 3-game set starting on Tuesday, and also their disgruntled owner. The Sox were the bleakest team in the league, not necessarily at this precise date, but in the grander scheme of things. They had not posted a winning record since ’33 and hadn’t been within single digits of first place at year’s end since even before that, and this looked like year 39 of their endless postseason drought. They were sixth in runs scored, second from the bottom in runs allowed, with a -19 run differential, a middling rotation and a terrible bullpen. These teams had met last year, with Portland winning two of three. We had not dropped a series against them since 2029, although that also included an 8-year string of never playing them at all.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (1-3, 6.44 ERA) vs. Adrien Calabresi (1-2, 3.42 ERA)
Jake Jackson (1-2, 4.50 ERA) vs. Steve Fidler (1-3, 6.42 ERA)
Rich Willett (4-3, 2.72 ERA) vs. Mike Wilt (4-0, 3.41 ERA)

Left, right, left – and Fidler was not the only ex-Coon in the rotation: they also had Ignacio del Rio (2-5, 4.74 ERA).

Yes, Nick, Nelson Moreno is the guy I always stubbornly refused to trade to push the team over the hump, and who is now stinking up everything around here. You are such a good observer.

Game 1
DEN: 3B Malfati – 1B J. Robinson – SS R. Thompson – CF S. Castillo – 2B Sperling – RF C. Walker – LF B. Murphy – C Wilton – P Calabresi
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – 1B Cortes – P Moreno

Moreno, who was on five days’ rest for this Tuesday game because the Coons’ brainpool decided that there was hope for him but not for Montano, who was thus to be skipped to the end of the line instead, struck out to leave the bases loaded with Trevino, Kilmer, and Cortes in the bottom of the second inning, though that was not the main reason why everybody was grumpy because of him. His ERA was over six and as May progressed, there had to either be an improvement with that or a roster move, and the BABIP was high (over .320 anyway entering the game), but not HIGH. And while the Gold Sox were a rotten and hopeless team, at least there was some visible progress on the field down there. He allowed two singles through three innings before the Raccoons spotted him a 2-0 lead in the bottom 3rd. Romero walked and Hunter doubled to began the inning, and then they scored on consecutive groundouts to the right side from Manny and Maldo. It sure enough wasn’t permanent. Bob Murphy singled in the fifth, then scored on Matt Wilton’s screaming RBI double into the rightfield corner. Lopo Malfati dropped a 2-out single to tie the game. Nick Valdes looked miffed. But so did I.

Moreno led off the bottom 5th with a single we could have used earlier, then remained parked on first base until there were two outs. Manny singled, Maldo was nailed, bringing up Miguel Reyna with two outs and everybody stacked. He grounded out to Jason Robinson. Nick Valdes looked miffed. But so did I.

All in all, Moreno was still somehow holding his **** together through five innings, but that notion stopped abruptly in the sixth. He nailed Sandy Castillo with one out and would not retire another batter. Evan Sperling homered to left, Chris Walker homered to right. A single, a walk, and a yank. Jon Craig came out and nicked PH Tyler Prestwood to fill the bags before Malfati grounded into a double play to keep it 5-2 Gold Sox. Nick Valdes looked miffed. My eyes were closed and wet all around.

Craig gave up a run in the seventh inning, putting the first two Sox on base, while the Raccoons got a wayward homer from Tony Romero, his first in the brown shirt that brought nothing but losing and shame, and sometimes a broken leg or two. But despite all the misery and more wonky relief from Cory Lambert and Brent Clark, the Raccoons stayed within three and got the tying run to the plate in the bottom of the ninth inning against right-hander Carlos Semchez. Cortes opened the inning with a single before PH Jeff Wilson hit a deep fly – out. Romero singled, promoting Hunter to the plate as the tying run. He also flew out to Castillo. Manny flew out to Bob Murphy. 6-3 Gold Sox. Romero 2-4, BB, HR, RBI; Hunter 2-5, 2B; Cortes 2-4;

I don’t know, Nick, what are we supposed to do? Drown the kid in a barrel? – Yeah, well, I am not discussing that. – Maud, please order a barrel.

Game 2
DEN: RF Mercado – C Wilton – 3B R. Thompson – CF S. Castillo – 2B Sperling – LF Cox – 1B C. Walker – SS R. Mendoza – P Fidler
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – 1B Ramos – P Jackson

Wednesday’s game started just like the last one, except that Nick Valdes was grumpier and pointing out repeatedly that he had room for trophies over his mantlepiece, whatever the heck that meant, but the Raccoons had a starter deliver two clean innings to begin the game, then stumble to the plate with three on and two outs in the bottom 2nd. Unlike Moreno though, Jake Jackson dropped a single to center that scored two runs for Portland, the first markers on the board, before Romero flew out to Castillo in center. The bummer also came earlier, with Jackson walking Nelson Mercado with two outs in the third inning, then getting bombed by Wilton to tie the game. – I know, Nick, I know. They are not supposed to hit the balls over there.

Thankfully, Tony Hunter hit a jack over the fence in right to begin the bottom 3rd, which gave Portland a new 3-2 lead, and a walk and a single put the 3-4 batters on base, too. Reyna grounded to second, with Sperling misfielding the ball to load them up with nobody out, which was always that trap the Raccoons liked to tumble into, having three on and nobody out and then scoring negative eleven runs from that spot onwards. Cosmo, though, chipped an RBI single on the first pitch he got from Fidler in that situation, and the fallen ex-Coon then walked in a run against Kilmer. Fidler had been the guy with the great half-season in 2038, and then the ****** half-season in 2039. He had never really recovered from that 5.01 ERA that year. Berto slapped home two more runs with a single near the rightfield line, 7-2, but starting with Jackson’s bunt, Fidler retired the next three batters in a row without giving up another run. Nick Valdes nodded eagerly and applauded with passion – that was the sort of baseball he loved to see more of! Well, didn’t we all?

The Raccoons then even found somebody to hit as much as a THIRD homer on the season when Manny Fernandez took Fernando Nora deep in the bottom 5th. That one came with Berto and Jackson aboard and thus counted for three runs, getting the Raccoons into double digits for the first time since… oh heck, I don’t know. Kilmer and Berto then each drove in their 12th run of the season against Jacob Breiter in the sixth. The right-hander had put Reyna and Cosmo on base to begin the inning, and had also thrown a wild pitch. A groundout from Kilmer and a Berto double took care of a full dozen runs. The Raccoons removed Romero, Hunter, and Fernandez from a 10-run game after that inning. Jackson never allowed a base hit other than the Wilton homer, but walked a couple more and also had to contend with a runner gifted through an error by Steve Nickas just after the backup infielder entered the game, but completed eight strong innings, whiffing seven Sox. A Carlos Cortes error in conjunction with Travis Sims’ miserable pitchery caused an unearned run in the ninth, but panic never broke out amongst the Coons faithful. 12-3 Raccoons. Fernandez 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Reyna 2-5; Trevino 3-5, RBI; Ramos 3-4, BB, 2B, 3 RBI; Jackson 8.0 IP, 1 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, W (2-2) and 1-2, 2 RBI;

Nick Valdes enthusiastically shook paws with everybody in the room after the game (even Cristiano!), before announcing that this was all he had time for and there were ancient ruins in Mesopotamia that needed blasting for a new strip mall, and he would get to push the button himself, fortunately. – I-I mean, Nick… aaawww, so sad you gotta go! – No-no, you have to, who else would push the button? Go! But – Yes, but – Yes, we also love you. NOW GO.

Game 3
DEN: RF N. Mercado – 1B J. Robinson – 3B R. Thompson – CF S. Castillo – 2B Sperling – LF Cox – C Wilton – SS Malfati – P Wilt
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – 1B Wilson – RF Cortes – P Willett

Willett saw the end of the second inning, which was already an upgrade over his last start. In fact, he retired the Sox in order the first time through, whiffing four, including everybody in the third inning. The Raccoons sprinkled four singles the first time through their order, plating absolutely nobody. The Raccoons did take the lead in the third, though, with Wilt nicking Romero to start the inning and Hunter dropping a single. Manny plated a run with a groundout, and Maldo ripped an RBI double over Mercado, then scored on Cosmo’s single to center, 3-0. That was not the end, though; while Jeff Kilmer grounded out, Jeff Wilson hit a bomb to centerfield, extending the lead to 5-0. Denver didn’t reach the bases until Ronnie Thompson tripled with two outs in the fourth, but he was stranded when Sandy Castillo flew out to Cortes on a looper. Instead, the Raccoons piled another 4-spot onto Wilt and Estevan Bernal in the fifth inning. Wilson singled home a 2-out run with Manny and Cosmo aboard. Cortes then ripped a 3-run homer to make it 9-0, and we scored another pair on Bernal in the sixth when Cosmo drew a bases-loaded walk and Kilmer hit a sac fly. Willett meanwhile kept ticking away Sox, spilling four hits eventually but arriving in the ninth on 86 pitches and with a shutout. There, Jason Robinson struck out. Ronnie Thompson grounded out to Nickas at short. Sandy Castillo grounded out to Omar Gutierrez at second. 11-0 Critters! Hunter 2-4; Fernandez 2-3, RBI; Maldonado 4-5, 2B, RBI; Wilson 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Cortes 3-4, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Willett 9.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 8 K, W (5-3);

Back-to-back double-digit runs for Portland? And they even won both games?

I must be dreaming.

Raccoons (15-19) @ Indians (17-17) – May 16-18, 2042

Maybe the Indians would wake us up. We’d be over to Indy for a quick 3-game set, facing them as they had sunk back to .500 while holding ninth place in runs scored and sixth in runs allowed, also a 2-1 edge in the season series over Portland (although with the offensive outburst mid-week, we were up to seventh in runs scored!). They had a few injuries, notably Luke Moses, Eric Peck, and Mike Sawyer, things being dire enough for ho-hum righty Orlando Altreche being forced into the rotation.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (3-1, 2.38 ERA) vs. Orlando Altreche (1-1, 2.65 ERA)
Angelo Montano (0-2, 4.38 ERA) vs. Alex Flores (2-1, 2.70 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (1-4, 6.75 ERA) vs. Drew Johnson (2-4, 2.08 ERA)

Three right-handers!

Game 1
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – 1B Ramos – 2B Gutierrez – C Wilson – P Brown
IND: LF D. Gonzales – 3B Hutson – C Mordino – RF Sanderfer – 2B E. Vargas – 1B Dodson – CF D. Rivera – SS Huber – P Altreche

Brown allowed plenty of hard contact the first time through the Arrowheads’ order, including an RBI triple in the second inning to Danny Rivera, but Romero made up that deficit with another home run of his in the top of the third. Portland took the lead an inning later – Maldonado opened with a single to right, stole second, reached third when Adam Huber mishandled Sal Mordino’s throw, and then came home on Reyna’s sac fly for a 2-1 lead. Romero was back at it in the fifth, reaching base with a 2-out hit and stealing second base – his 14th bag of the season – before coming around on a Hunter double, 3-1. The lead seemed in danger in the bottom 5th, though. Brown had retired a bunch in a row before walking not only Huber, but also Altreche (!) with one out in the inning. David Gonzales thankfully spanked a ball into a 6-4-3 double play. In this inning, though, and the next, the Indians really whittled down Brown … or rather, whittled up (?) his pitch count. He reached 92 pitches through six after initially seeing contact be made quickly in the first two innings.

He came back out for the bottom 7th, walked Pat Dodson and threw a wild pitch to Rivera, the only lefty hitter in the lineup, before Rivera finally popped out in a full count. That was it for Brown, replaced with Rella, who walked Huber. Altreche bunted the tying runs into scoring position, and Chuck Jones came in when Mario Ochoa pinch-hit for Gonzales, getting a high fly to left on a 2-2 pitch that ended the inning. Portland got Berto and Gutierrez on base with a walk and single, respectively, to begin the eighth. The Indians stuck to Altreche, who got two outs before Romero was walked intentionally with first base open. Hunter snipped an RBI single, though, tacking on a valuable insurance run, 4-1. Manny Fernandez tacked on some more, sending a fly to deep right. And it was – outta here! GRAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!!

Dan Hutson hit a homer off Travis Sims to begin the bottom 8th, but that was also the last Indians run in the game. Sims threw 36 pitches in two laborious innings that once more proved he had no place in the majors, but at least put the game away. 8-2 Raccoons. Romero 3-4, BB, HR, RBI; Hunter 3-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Fernandez 3-5, HR, 2B, 4 RBI; Maldonado 2-5; Reyna 2-4, RBI; Ramos 3-4, BB; Brown 6.1 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB, 6 K, W (4-1);

In just three days the Raccoons had scrubbed down their run differential from -28 to just -2.

And here comes Angelo Montano.

Game 2
POR: 1B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – RF Reyna – 3B de Wit – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – P Montano
IND: LF D. Gonzales – 3B Hutson – C Mordino – RF Sanderfer – 2B E. Vargas – 1B Dodson – CF D. Rivera – SS Huber – P A. Flores

…and they kept scoring! Portland batted through the order in the first, scoring four runs, three of them on a Maldondo blast to left with Hunter and Manny aboard. Reyna was then driven in with two outs by Kilmer, although that last run was unearned; Jay de Wit had reached on a Huber error. But any lead had to survive contact with Montano, who issued a walk and two singles to the Indians the first time through, and was lucky enough that Dan Hutson erased the leadoff walk to David Gonzales with a double play bouncer. Rivera hit a 1-out double in the second before Huber and Flores both hit liners for outs to Tony Hunter, who then hit a homer in the fourth inning, matching a solo shot by Sal Mordino from half an inning earlier and extending the lead to 5-1. Manny and Maldo reached base after that, pulled off a double steal, and Reyna plated a run with a grounder before de Wit flew out to right. By the fifth, it was 7-1, thanks to Montano hitting a 2-out double to left and being driven in by Berto, so far 0-for-3 in the game.

At some point it had to come crashing down though, and that was in the sixth. Manny reached base again, then was tripled in by Maldonado, 8-1. Maldonado pulled up lame, though, and had to leave the ballgame, replaced by Tony Romero, who scored on a de Wit sac fly, 9-1, but now I was all worries and no joy again. The Indians also shook Montano around for three hits and as many runs in the bottom 6th. Thanks to a grim Tony Hunter error, all the runs were unearned, although Montano certainly had three paws in it. The lead was still a pawful, though, so the Raccoons had enough wiggling room to drag Montano through the seventh inning despite a 1-out hit by Hutson. Craig and Clark put runners on the corners in the eighth, but didn’t concede a run, and Lambert retired the Indians in order in the ninth. 9-4 Critters. Hunter 2-4, BB, HR, RBI; Fernandez 2-4, BB; Maldonado 3-4, HR, 3B, 4 RBI;

Dr. Padilla only mumbled something Spanish about Maldonado’s aches, which made me none the wiser, except that he wouldn’t be in the lineup on Sunday. Oh, the Coons – they just couldn’t handle a guy with an .800 OPS.

Game 3
POR: 1B Ramos – CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – RF Cortes – 3B de Wit – 2B Trevino – C Wilson – P Moreno
IND: 1B J. Diaz – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – LF D. Rivera – C Mordino – 2B Sanderfer – CF D. Gonzales – SS E. Vargas – P D. Johnson

Moreno pitched around an error by Berto in the first inning and a Sanderfer double in the second, but not around the leadoff triple Jeff Diaz hit in the bottom 3rd. The main reason was that the Indians squared him up and hit a pair of bombs through Mario Ochoa and Sal Mordino to take a 3-0 lead in the game. The Raccoons had been somewhat silent early on, but Manny Fernandez whacked a solo homer in the fourth to raise hope that maybe it was not all over yet with the 4-game winning streak and all, but nobody else then reached base for Portland until the fifth inning, when Moreno doubled to center and Berto dropped a single in front of Ochoa to put the tying runs on the corners. Romero ran a full count before lining up the middle, narrowly past a lunging Enrique Vargas’ glove, and into center for an RBI single, 3-2. Ex-Coon Drew Johnson leaked a walk to Tony Hunter, filling the bases for Manny Fernandez, who also ran a full count before hitting a drive to deep center. It failed to reach the fence, but David Gonzales also failed to reach the drive, which fell for a 2-run double, flipping the score to 4-3 Portland. Interestingly enough, Carlos Cortes, batting all of .190, was walked with intent to get de Wit up with his .291 stick. He hit a sac fly before Cosmo flew out to right to end the inning.

Up 5-3, Moreno retired Indy in order in the fifth and sixth innings before the Raccoons filled the bags again facing Bill Drury in the seventh, albeit with nobody out, so you knew it was all gonna be for nothing. Cortes was the batter in the fattest spot possible, dished a 2-0 pitch through the left side for two runs, and extended the lead to 7-3 before de Wit popped out and Cosmo found a double play. Vargas then ripped a double off Moreno to begin the bottom 7th. The Raccoons patiently saw him K Huber in the #9 hole and get a grounder from Diaz, then replaced him on 100 pitches with a lefty hitter next. Brent Clark entered in a double switch with Gutierrez (Cosmo was out) and struck out Ochoa to end the inning. Rella and Hamill, who had been unemployed all week long, would be used to finish out the game and sweep the series. 7-3 Critters! Ramos 4-5; Romero 2-5, RBI; Fernandez 4-5, HR, 2 2B, 3 RBI;

In other news

May 13 – The Crusaders end the hitting streak of SAC OF/2B Alfonso Cedillo (.349, 3 HR, 10 RBI) at 21 games, holding him hitless in four attempts, but conceded the game to the Scorpions, anyway, 5-2.
May 13 – LVA SP Ricardo Sanchez (2-4, 6.10 ERA) 3-hits the Pacifics as the marooned Aces scratch out a 2-0 win.
May 13 – CIN LF/RF Jayden Lockwood (.309, 2 HR; 17 RBI) hits a single for the only Cyclones base knock in a 2-0 loss to the Titans’ Mario Gonzalez (2-2, 2.40 ERA) and a pair of relievers.
May 13 – The Rebels fall to the Condors, 4-1, and amount to nothing more than a single by INF/LF/RF Tony Alvarado (.188, 1 HR, 6 RBI) against Josh Long (3-3, 3.13 ERA) and Phil Harrington (2-1, 2.84 ERA, 8 SV).
May 14 – VAN SP Mike Mihalik (8-0, 2.11 ERA) 3-hits the Warriors. The Canadiens win the game, 7-0.
May 16 – OCT OF Adrian Wade (.206, 0 HR, 2 RBI) hits a single to spoil a no-hit bid by Charlotte’s SP Marcos Nabo (2-1, 4.35 ERA).
May 17 – The Bayhawks are out-hit by the Condors, 8-3, but squeeze out a 2-1 win with the help of a home run by Sonny Deming (.206, 3 HR, 13 RBI).
May 18 – The Titans report CL Gabe McGill (2-3, 2.45 ERA, 6 SV) out for the year on account of bone chips in his elbow needing removal.

FL Player of the Week: NAS OF/1B Rich de Luna (.367, 1 HR, 16 RBI), batting .552 (16-26) with 1 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: POR OF Manny Fernandez (.375, 5 HR, 22 RBI), swatting .538 (14-26) with 3 HR, 12 RBI

Complaints and stuff

After 3-hitting the Titans in April, Rich Willett had his second shutout of the year on Thursday, blanking the Gold Sox on four hits to take the rubber game. First time for Willett that he’s spun more than one shutout in a year.

Nelson Moreno was barfworthy on Tuesday, but had a really good outing on Sunday, besmeared by that one bad inning. Granted, that one bad inning was plenty bad – two homers and three runs total – but he struck out eight and walked nobody in otherwise solid baseball. That ERA is still over six though. You know, bah.

Losing Maldonado would be bitter. Just when the offense seemed to find third, fourth, and fifth gear! Even after a rabid 5-game stretch in which they scored seven or more runs in every game and 9.4 per game, the Raccoons are still only at 4.3 runs per game overall. Somehow, though, that run total puts them fourth in the CL currently. We don’t know quite why yet, but the CL is currently on course for a 55-year low in league ERA with a 3.63 mark when it is usually quite reliably around 3.90, give or take 12 points, the maximum deviation in the last 25 years.

The FL is also seeing a 30-year low for league ERA (3.88), but it’s not that far away from the usual margins. For comparison, last year’s league ERA’s where 4.02 (FL) and 3.95 (CL). The 3-year average is 4.06 / 3.90;

Oh what do I know? Maybe it’s the Raccoons playing all those extra innings throwing numbers askew……

We hope to build on the active 5-game winning streak next week in a homestand against the Crusaders and Bayhawks. The month will finish with a trip to the Aces and Falcons after that.

Fun Fact: Alberto Ramos is reaching for 2,500 base hits, currently sitting 70 hits shy of the mark.

He is also 13-for-23 in recent gams and has gotten his average up to .314 again, although his trademark good eyes seem to have gone away. Just last year he had 50% more walks than strikeouts. This year he has 50% as many walks as strikeouts…

Old age. Such joy.

[Questdog]

Oh, ho, ho, ho! That was a good week!

[Westheim]

2042 ABL DRAFT POOL ANALYSIS

The Raccoons were well-equipped with draft picks for the 2042 minimum wage personnel market, having acquired the #16 pick by performance in the 2041 season, as well as three compensation picks for the losses of Bernie Chavez, Drew Johnson, and Tony Morales, which would give them four picks in the top 50 and five in the top 60-or-so.

There were certainly picks available for whatever the heart desired, at least if you were picking at the top of the pile. We had 132 players on the shortlist, and certainly didn’t have to suffer for a lack of options for our usual hotlist with a dozen-or-so players that we’d like to add to the farm (players with * are high school players):

SP Sean Fowler (13/13/12) * - BNN #9
SP Gary Perrone (13/14/12)
SP Jim White (13/13/12) – BNN #6
SP Lance Parent (12/12/9) – BNN #7
SP Jeremy Chaney (11/17/13) – BNN #8

CL Sam Gibson (17/13/8)

C Ray DeFrank (11/11/17) * - BNN #4

INF Nathan Whitehurst (14/9/11) *
3B Seth Lyon (13/6/13) *
SS/2B Jonathan Ban (14/5/11)
INF Billy Canning (9/11/10)

OF/1B Billy Quinteros (10/13/17)
LF/RF Justin Griffith (12/8/10) *
LF/RF David Sanders (12/5/11)

Not that all was rosy with all of them: Whitehurst was certainly more a corner player than a middle infielder. Second base was an option for him. Seth Lyon struck me as a Matt Nunley type of player, which was immediately intriguing. Griffith and Sanders were both interesting corner outfielders with defensive deficiencies. DeFrank was also stick-first, glove-later, which was not ideal for a catcher. A move to first base was an option.

As far as the pitchers were concerned, Chaney was throwing only two pitches at this point, and OSA hated a couple of our selections. But we’d happily pick all of these players… or at least one of them.

There was a second catcher that was put at #1 on BNN’s list, high schooler Blake “Fireworks” Mickle. He had a better arm than DeFrank and had major power potential in the cards. Whether he’d ever make enough contact to actually get to hit homers in the majors was an entirely different question. We certainly had him on the radar, but whether you’d want to burn a first-round pick on him was a matter of discussion.