Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (87-62) vs. Falcons (52-97) – September 19-21, 2061

Final regular-season home series of the year, and with a magic number of four the chance to clinch the division on home turf, although that would also require the Indians to lose the odd game. The Falcons couldn’t wait for the season to end, being on the bottom end of the CL in both runs scored and runs allowed, with a -229 run differential and down 5-1 in the season series against the Critters.

Projected matchups:
Tyler Riddle (12-5, 2.54 ERA) vs. Esteban Duran (9-11, 5.02 ERA)
Nick Robinson (13-8, 3.06 ERA) vs. Bernie Mojica (4-4, 6.63 ERA)
Bobby Herrera (13-7, 3.16 ERA) vs. Ben Lewis (2-4, 5.95 ERA)

The three Falcons right-handers couldn’t wait for the season to end, either.

There was the thought of bringing up another AAA starter (Jose Rosa?) to handle a start or two down the stretch here, but the Alley Cats had won their division and were currently active in the playoffs.

Game 1
CHA: CF J. Rodriguez – 3B D. Espinosa – C L. Miranda – 1B Valcarcel – LF D. Ceballos – RF Padgett – 2B Sostre – SS T. Taylor – P E. Duran
POR: LF Morris – RF Christopher – CF Caswell – C Perez – 1B Starr – 3B Fowler – SS Bean – 2B Ortega – P Riddle

We had to play the games anyway, and the Falcons took a 1-0 lead in the first inning with a Jose Rodriguez triple and Danny Espinosa’s sac fly. Jesus Valcarcel and Danny Ceballos also hit singles, but were stranded by Cody Padgett. Ceballos’ production had plummeted ever since shredding his knee in ’59, but he was still able to dink singles. In any case, the Coons flipped the score in the bottom 2nd when Jon Bean singled home Angel Perez and Joel Starr with one out and a string hit over the glove of Bill Sostre into right-center. Riddle held the 2-1 lead for a while then, but didn’t get a strikeout until the fifth inning and relied on the defense to get him through innings. The Coons’ offense was depressingly tame; when Perez and Starr were on base again to begin the bottom 6th, Fowler hit into a fielder’s choice at second, and Bean found a double play to end the inning with.

The Falcons then predictably tied the game in the seventh with Sostre getting on thanks to a Fowler error and Trent Taylor hitting a single – the first career hit for the 22-year-old September call-up. Riddle was lifted for Ruben Mendez, who retired PH Joe Hullander, but when Brendan Snyder batted for Rodriguez in the #1 spot, the Coons moved on to Rocco to counter the lefty stick, but Rocco gave up an unearned RBI single and we were tied at two. Espinosa then grounded out to Bean. The Falcons went on to crunch Mike Abrams for three runs in the eighth inning. Danny Ceballos notably cracked a 2-run triple to plate Luis Miranda and Jesus Valcarcel, then scored on Padgett’s groundout before Abrams was yanked. The ball went to DeRose, who would probably be able to do whatever with it while getting the last five outs, although the Raccoons somehow wobbled the bags full in the bottom 8th as Cas singled, Brass walked, and Lonzo was nicked while batting for Bean against left-hander Matt Malone. Gary Ponds, a righty, replaced Malone, becoming the fourth reliever of the inning, getting Bernie Ortega to ground for another round of much ado about nothing. In turn we went down in order in the ninth inning… 5-2 Falcons. Morris 2-5, 2B; Perez 2-4; Starr 1-2, 2 BB;

The good news was that the Indians lost at the Bay, 9-4, and the magic number was down to three.

Game 2
CHA: CF J. Rodriguez – 3B D. Espinosa – RF Tomko – 1B Valcarcel – LF D. Ceballos – 2B Hullander – C McCarver – SS Sostre – P Mojica
POR: RF Christopher – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – LF Brassfield – CF Ayala – 3B Fowler – 2B Ortega – C Arellano – P Robinson

Lonzo was dinked *again* by Mojica in the bottom 1st and stole second in revenge, but Starr’s scratch single couldn’t score him, and the bags filled up when Brassfield walked, bringing Ayala up with one out, and like a true Raccoon he found the double play to murder the inning and my soul, but when Robinson nicked Ceballos in the second inning, Joe Hullander immediately found a gap double to drive him in. Meanwhile the ******* Coons couldn’t score even when Robinson reached with a 2-base throwing error by Sostre to lead off the bottom 3rd. Not only that, but the 1-2-3 batters made such ****** outs that he never even got off second base…

It took another bad throw by Danny Espinosa to tie the game in the bottom 4th. Brass led off with a double and Ayala walked. Fowler grounded out and the runners were in scoring position for Ortega, who grounded out to third base, but Espinosa spiked the throw and Valcarcel could not contain it at first base, allowing Ortega to reach and Brass to score. And then Arellano hit into a ******* double play to kill another inning. BOYS!! WHAT THE ****!!

Nick Robinson was not to blame for anything; he did his royal best to keep the Falcons’ heads under water, allowing just three base hits and whiffing seven of them up to the seventh-inning stretch, while the game was still tied at one. Mojica offered a four-pitch walk to Fowler to start the bottom 7th, and Ortega grounded out to move him to second base. Arellano then FINALLY CAME THROUGH with a double to left, plating Fowler and giving the Coons a 2-1 lead. Tomlin batted for Robinson without success, grounding out, and Christopher left the tack-on run at third base. Ryan Sullivan then struck out the side – including the pitcher Mojica for some reason – in the eighth inning. The Raccoons couldn’t tack on in the eighth, either, but Matt Walters retired the 1-2-3 in order to ache the W into the books. 2-1 Blighters. Starr 2-4; Robinson 7.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 7 K, W (14-8);

I do think that our rotation can hold up in the playoffs.

But the ******* offense can’t ask them to throw shutouts every ******* day!!

And with the Indians’ see-saw 11-10 loss in San Francisco, the magic number was down to one. Armando Montoya held off murdering Critters for a moment and hit a walkoff single to get it done. Thx, Armando! – Maud, send a basket of Oregon’s finest cheeses to Mr. Montoya! – Yes, even the stinky ones!

The Crusaders were mathematically eliminated already on this Tuesday.

Game 3
CHA: CF Washington – 1B Valcarcel – RF D. Ceballos – C L. Miranda – 3B O’Donnell – 2B Yoshikawa – LF Padgett – SS Hullander – P B. Lewis
POR: LF Morris – SS Lavorano – CF Caswell – RF Brassfield – 1B Tomlin – 3B N. Fox – C Fuller – 2B Bean – P B. Herrera

Tipsy Bobby allowed a leadoff single in each of the first three innings in the potential clincher, but the Falcons found a double play with Takuro Yoshikawa in the second and Lewis bunted badly to get Hullander out in the third inning to sabotage their own cause, while the Raccoons took a skinny 1-0 lead in the second inning when Fomlin doubled to left and scored on a Fuller single. Herrera then gave up a double to begin the fourth inning, except that he didn’t because the first base umpire rung up Danny Ceballos for missing first base in what instead became officially a 1-2-3 inning. In turn, the 1-2-3 reached base to begin the fifth against Herrera, with Yoshikawa singling to center, Padgett legging out a drag bunt, and Hullander hitting another soft single; three on, nobody out. Lewis popped out, Joe Washington struck out, and Valcarcel popped out to Tomlin in foul ground to leave everybody on base.

That was as far as this game worked out as intended. But the Coons were on just the two miserable hits from the second inning in five frames, and Herrera inevitably had another stumble in the sixth, walking Miranda before Yoshikawa bombed a 2-piece over the wall in left, flipping the score. Herrera then drilled Padgett in perhaps frustration, and a brawl broke out with Padgett and Herrera ejected. Swell. Erickson then replaced Herrera once the umpires had cleared the field, and gave up another 2-run homer to Hullander. Sweller.

Bottom 7th, and the Coons had the bases loaded with nobody out on straight singles off Lewis hit by Caswell, Brassfield, and Tomlin, the team’s base hits three to five on the day… Nick Fox hit a sac fly, which in itself did little, but Fuller went to right-center for an RBI double, reducing the score to 4-3 while putting the tying and go-ahead runs in scoring position. Notably, Bernie Ortega pinch-ran for Fuller, a rarely-used tactic on a team where almost everybody but the catchers had speed. Jon Bean’s poor grounder to short, and Starr’s grounder to third base of course soiled the bed again and the Coons couldn’t even get the *tying* run home before the inning blacked out.

Useless Adam Harris and Ruben Mendez then fumbled two more Falcons runs on the board in a 4-hit ninth inning, as if the Raccoons could have made up a 4-3 deficit… Lewis went eight, and righty Manny Gutierrez got the ball for the ninth. Brass, Tomlin, and Nick Fox disappeared in order. 6-3 Falcons. Tomlin 2-4, 2B; Fuller 2-3, 2B, 2 RBI;

Regardless of how ******* atrocious the Coons played, the Bayhawks completed a sweep of the Indians and the Raccoons were CL North champs in 2061.

I didn’t feel like celebrating, though. Did I mention the Falcons were last in the CL in runs scored *and* runs allowed?

Also, Tipsy Bobby was suspended for seven games, e.g. one start, which gave us not one, but TWO suspended pitchers on the roster, since Elijah LaBat was still banhammered all the way into next week for his own hissy-fits the week before.

Can it get any worse? (looks at pocket schedule) Oh ****.

Raccoons (88-64) @ Canadiens (72-80) – September 23-25, 2061

The damn Elks were just waiting to give the Raccoons another spin on the wheel of depression and to get even on the season series, which Portland led 9-6. Elk City ranked eighth in runs scored and runs allowed, with a -45 run differential, which, judging by how the last series went, was a sure sweep for them…

Projected matchups:
Chance Fox (11-8, 2.82 ERA) vs. Ken Nielsen (8-9, 3.34 ERA)
Angel Alba (4-3, 4.73 ERA) vs. Jeff Kozloski (10-16, 3.83 ERA)
Tyler Riddle (12-5, 2.48 ERA) vs. Carlos Torres (10-8, 4.14 ERA)

The Raccoons continued to evade all left-handers, although Martyn Polaco (8-6, 4.46 ERA) finishing the year on the DL helped with that in the Elks’ case.

Game 1
POR: LF Morris – SS Lavorano – CF Caswell – RF Brassfield – 1B Starr – C Perez – 3B N. Fox – 2B Bean – P C. Fox
VAN: LF Hambrick – 2B A. Castillo – 1B J. Campos – 3B Spalding – SS Corpus – CF Tallent – RF D. Garcia – C A. Maldonado – P Nielsen

Christian Hambrick singled, Alex Castillo reached on an error by Nick Fox, Jose Campos singled again, and Steven Spalding spanked a grand slam, all inside the first four batters Chance Fox faced. In other words – ballgame.

The Coons didn’t get a hit until Cas singled in the fourth, and were not a threat to score at any time while Chance Fox was fudging around on the hill, which turned out to be five innings, allowing another run on hits by Hambrick and Campos in the bottom 5th before being dismissed. Judging the situation of the 5-0 game, the Raccoons gave up and put in Sensabaugh after Fox had been chewed to bits for 101 pitches. He had a scoreless sixth before the Raccoons loaded the bases partly by accident in the top 7th. Perez singled, Bean was nailed, and Morris drew a 2-out walk on a coulda-gone-either-way 3-2 pitch a good hitter would foul off. Lonzo then grounded out to Alex Corpus and that was that. Sensabaugh managed to pitch the last three innings without allowing a run – look, Chance, THAT is how it works! – and Nielsen went eight before Jerry Garvey finished off the game. 5-0 Canadiens. Perez 2-4, 2B; Ayala (PH) 1-1; Sensabaugh 3.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

For Saturday, we purged ALL the regulars from the lineup – as far as possible without completely destroying the defense. It was the ideal day to do so since Angel Alba as a bloody rookie had no standing to complain.

Game 2
POR: RF Christopher – CF Ayala – 1B Tomlin – C Fuller – 3B Fowler – LF Kozak – SS Bean – 2B Ortega – P Alba
VAN: LF D. Garcia – 3B Spalding – 1B J. Campos – RF C. Cardenas – C A. Maldonado – 2B Tallent – CF Hambrick – SS Corpus – P Kozloski

A walk, a single, and a hit batter loaded the bases with COONS before an out was made this time around, although Tim Fuller didn’t hit a slam, but struck out instead. Fowler’s sac fly got *a* run home and Kozak drove in a run with a 2-out knock to right. Jon Bean rolled a ball through the right side for a 2-run single. Ortega singled to center and Alba grounded out to end the inning before taking the hill with a 4-0 lead, which was lofty heights for Raccoons pitchers these days. Christopher singled and stole second in the top 2nd, but was left on, however Kozak found the gap for a triple and scored on Bean’s groundout to extend the lead to 5-0 in the third inning. With two outs, Ortega, Alba (on an error), and Christopher filled the bases again, and Felix Ayala’s 2-run single through the left side ended Kozloski’s involvement with this game.

(looks up to the baseball gods) My! Aren’t you boys a funny bunch!?

While Angel Alba didn’t allow a hit until the fourth inning, Guillermo Herrera pitched some successful garbage relief for the Elks before catching some flak in the sixth as well. Fowler was nicked by him, but Kozak reached when Corpus botched a potentially inning-ending grounder to short. Bean then hit an RBI single, Ortega singled to right to load the bases with one out, and Alba grounded to short where Corpus ****** ANOTHER potentially inning-ending double play for his second error of the inning…! Christopher would hit a sac fly for a second unearned run in the inning, 10-0, knocking out Herrera before Alex Lodes got the Elks out of the inning. Alba had shutout pace into the later innings, then walked Chris Sullivan with two outs in the bottom 8th and Thomas Whittington flew out to Christopher in deep right to end the inning, but those two long plate appearances put him at 101 pitches for the day. He still got the *chance* in the bottom 9th, but gave up a leadoff homer to Danny Garcia, which ended his bid and his day, too. Erickson then finished the game. 10-1 Critters. Christopher 2-4, BB, RBI; Ayala 2-5, BB, 2 RBI; Fowler 2-3, RBI; Kozak 2-5, 3B, RBI; Bean 3-5, 4 RBI; Ortega 3-5; Alba 8.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, W (5-3) and 1-5, RBI;

No position players left the game to send a message to the regulars. This was the first game all year in which both Brass and Starr didn’t play, ending their bid for a perfect-attendance season.

Baseball makes no sense.

Baseball loves nobody.

The regulars were invited back to play on Sunday, and if they put up five runs any which way, my fury might be tamed.

Game 3
POR: LF Morris – SS Lavorano – CF Caswell – RF Brassfield – 1B Starr – C Perez – 3B N. Fox – 2B Bean – P Riddle
VAN: LF Hambrick – 2B A. Castillo – 1B J. Campos – 3B Spalding – SS Corpus – CF D. Garcia – RF Tallent – C A. Maldonado – P C. Torres

Another day, another 4-run first… for the damn Elks. After the Coons went down in order, Riddle went down with much noise, offering a leadoff walk to Hambrick before giving up a single to Castillo, a 2-run double to Spalding, and more RBI singles to Corpus and Garcia. The Coons answered (!) with Starr hitting a single and Angel Perez cutting the gap in half with a 2-piece, the first Coons homer this ******* week. That happened inside three pitches to begin the inning, and Torres would throw another 40 before the inning ended. Fox flew out, but Bean singled. Riddle struck out for the second out of the inning before Torres balked, then hit Ben Morris. Lonzo hit the next pitch for an RBI single, and Cas flipped the score with a 2-run single, 5-4. Brass walked, Starr hit his second single of the inning to extend the score to 6-4, and Perez grounded out to end the 6-spot and leave the bases loaded. Torres was then hit for to begin the bottom 2nd, but Riddle followed right on his heels, giving up singles to PH Chad Cardenas and Christian Hambrick, then a triple to Castillo before getting the old hook. Barton replaced him, immediately gave up the go-ahead run on a Campos single, and walked Corpus, but somehow wobbled out of the inning.

Jack Kozak homered off Scott Casner in place of Barton in the third inning, tying the game at seven, which was a lot of red flags for one sentence about a baseball game. He then replaced a hitless Morris in leftfield while the ball went to DeRose, who failed to justify the continuation of his useless existence by giving up a double to Casner, a triple to Hambrick, and a single to Campos to immediately incur another 9-7 deficit. Both DeRose and Casner would however pitch four full innings in garbage relief, with the damn Elk on the longer end of the box score when removed for Jeremy Garvey to begin the top 7th. Garvey didn’t allow anything in the seventh, but *drilled* Kozak – who had already been nailed by Casner once – to begin the eighth inning in the 9-7 game. Lefty David Figueroa took over and Forbes Tomlin batted for the pitcher in the #1 spot, drawing a walk. Righty Brian Doster replaced Figueroa with the tying runs on base. Lonzo flew out, Cas whiffed, and Brass grounded out. Erik Swain in the ninth got a groundout to short from Starr, but Perez singled. Christopher batted for Nick Fox and ended the ballgame with a 4-6-3 double play. 9-7 Canadiens. Caswell 2-4, BB, 2 RBI; Starr 2-5, RBI; Perez 2-4, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Bean 2-4; Kozak (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

In other news

September 19 – The season of DAL RF/LF Roberto Almanza (.294, 3 HR, 46 RBI) ended with a herniated disc that required rest.
September 22 – Dallas OF Tyler Wharton (.349, 28 HR, 114 RBI) will miss the rest of the year with ankle soreness.
September 23 – SFB SP Kyle Turay (6-10, 4.61 ERA) is expected to miss all of next season with a ruptured UCL, which will be a tough uphill battle to come back from for the 38-year-old right-hander.

FL Player of the Week: NAS OF/1B Tony Roman (.289, 33 HR, 89 RBI), swatting .348 (8-23) with 3 HR, 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: SFB 2B/LF Armando Montoya (.299, 21 HR, 118 RBI), socking .500 (13-26) with 4 HR, 13 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Congratulations to the Bayhawks for winning the CL pennant on Sunday. They lost their game, but the Condors beat the Aces, 5-2, and that closed the division. The Raccoons would not be much of a stepping stone in the CLCS, because just look at them…

Or don’t, because the sight of our lineup makes grown men weep.

We barely managed to extend our string of season series wins against the damn Elks to six years, tying a record set by the 2009-14 Raccoons (who still lost the 2012 division on the final weekend of the year to Ray ******* Gilbert).

The Raccoons were the first team to clinch a division this season despite being nowhere near the top seed for Octoberball, with both the Bayhawks and whoever would win the FL West probably out of reach.

Only the Indians and Loggers left to finish out the season. The regular season. Before it’ll be Baybirds in four.

Fun Fact: If the championship went to the team with the best regular season record, 41 of the 84 championship titles would be redistributed, including almost all of the Raccoons’.

For the sake of this exercise, let’s assume that ties for the best record still go to the real-life runner.

Here’s how the Raccoons’ title pile would fare; with the parenthesis denoting how far the team got in reality, (WS) denoting championship years, (P) years we won the pennant, and (CL) where we went out in the CLCS. Of course, since only division winners make the playoffs, only years where we went to the postseason anyway matter in this regard. Playoff years that don’t end up mentioned here are ones where we didn’t win the World Series and didn’t have the best record either.

1992 (WS) – the Raccoons won 99 games, tied with the Caps, whom they beat in the World Series in the second consecutive meeting with them – Ring
1993 (WS) – the Raccoons won 91 games, well behind the Condors and Caps, who both won 100, and who both bowed to the Raccoons on the way to their second championship – Nope
1996 (P) – an impressive 108 wins followed by a World Series defeat against the 96-win Rebs – Ring
2026 (WS) – the Raccoons win 94 games in the regular season, then beat the 99-win Pacifics in the World Series, who would have get this title otherwise – Nope
2028 (WS) – this time the Raccoons win 98 games before beating the Buffaloes, although the Pacifics would take this one too with 100 regular season wins – Nope
2044 (WS) – 96 wins and a victory against the 86-win Cyclones gave the Coons their fifth title, but the Gold Sox would steal that after getting upset in the FLCS with their 104 wins – Nope
2046 (WS) – rinse, repeat from 2044, with the Gold Sox winning 110 before bowing to the Critters, who won just 96 – Nope
2047 (WS) – the Coons win 104 games, but the Thunder win 108 before losing the CLCS to the Coons, best in the league – Nope
2054 (WS) – this one also gets away from the 94-win Coons, who beat the 96-win Knights and 97-win Warriors, who would take it away from them – Nope
2055 (CL) – conversely, the Raccoons would scoop this one from the Knights, who win the World Series after upsetting the 102-win Critters with their CL South-winning 95-67 record – Ring

Thinking about it, things are just fine the way they are.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (89-66) @ Indians (78-77) – September 26-29, 2061

Last week, last chance to get a crippling knee injury before the start of the playoffs…! We had to play four in Indianapolis on the way to Milwaukee, with the Indians sixth in runs scored and third in runs allowed in the CL. The season series was still up for grabs, tied at seven at the start of play.

Projected matchups:
Nick Robinson (14-8, 3.00 ERA) vs. Zach Stewart (7-14, 4.55 ERA)
Justin DeRose (10-13, 4.69 ERA) vs. Jarod Morris (7-8, 2.96 ERA)
Chance Fox (11-9, 2.93 ERA) vs. Aaron Sciuto (7-12, 4.04 ERA)
Angel Alba (5-3, 4.19 ERA) vs. Antonio Pichardo (4-3, 1.98 ERA)

Left, right, left, right went the Indians. Justin DeRose was filling Bobby Herrera’s spot, who would be serving a suspension for the duration of the team’s stay in Indianapolis.

Game 1
POR: 2B Ortega – SS Lavorano – RF Brassfield – 1B Tomlin – C Perez – 3B N. Fox – CF Ayala – LF Kozak – P Robinson
IND: SS Kilday – CF R. Alvarez – 1B Starwalt – C A. Gomez – RF Lovins – 2B Ewers – LF O. Ramos – 3B Zucal – P Z. Stewart

The former Raccoon in the Indians uniform gave up two 2-out runs in the first inning; after Lonzo singled and Brass walked, both were driven in with a pair of 2-out singles by Angel Perez and Nick Fox. Robinson retired the first two Indians before allowing a double to left to Danny Starwalt, then issued THREE straight walks to force in Starwalt’s run before being kind enough to get a groundout from Orlando Ramos to end the inning.

While the dimwitted Raccoons went on to hit into three double plays across the next five innings and didn’t put a paw in scoring position, Stewart held the Indians to that one Starwalt hit until he gave up another Starwalt hit, a sixth-inning, game-tying homer to right-center. Robinson went on to hit a 1-out single in the top 7th before being forced out by Bernie Ortega grounding to short. With two outs, however, Ortega was getting an early start with Lonzo batting and driving a double into the gap in left-center, and came around to score the go-ahead run. Brass popped out to Roger Zucal to leave Lonzo in scoring position, and Robinson held the new 3-2 lead for one more inning before leaving the game. Top 8th, Perez and Fox went to the corners with 1-out knocks against right-hander Juan Carrillo before Joel Starr batted for Ayala and hit a sac fly to center. Caswell batted for Kozak, but grounded out meekly. Ricky Herrera held the 4-2 lead in the bottom 8th before being hit for Joey Christopher, who drew a leadoff walk in the ninth but was immediately forced out by Bernie Ortega. Lonzo and Brass singles loaded the bases. Cody Kleidon struck out Tomlin, but gave up an RBI single to right to Perez, tacking on one more run before Nick Fox’ groundout to second left the bases loaded. Matt Walters then removed the 3-4-5 batters in order with two strikeouts to end the game. 5-2 Raccoons. Lavorano 3-5, 2B, RBI; Brassfield 2-4, BB; Perez 4-5, 2B, 2 RBI; N. Fox 2-5, RBI; Ayala 1-2; Robinson 7.0 IP, 2 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 4 BB, 6 K, W (15-8) and 1-3;

We out-hit Danny Starwalt, 15-2. No other Indian got on base with a knock.

Game 2
POR: LF B. Morris – SS Lavorano – CF Caswell – RF Brassfield – 1B Starr – 3B Fowler – C Fuller – 2B Bean – P DeRose
IND: 2B M. Weber – CF R. Alvarez – SS Kilday – 1B Starwalt – RF Lovins – C A. Gomez – LF B. Johnston – 3B Zucal – P Jar. Morris

DeRose had pitched on the weekend, so was on short rest, but it wasn’t like anybody expected him to go the distance or not get punched across the snout. The Raccoons found two more double plays to hit into and thus scored no runs from their five base knocks in the first four frames, at which point Danny Starwalt finally got hold of DeRose and smashed a solo jack over the fence in right. Tim Fuller was nicked by Jarod Morris to begin the top 5th then, while Bean popped out and DeRose failed to get a bunt down until he had finally struck out. Ben Morris to the rescue – with a home run over the rightfield wall of his own, flipping the score to 2-1 Critters.

DeRose then got stuck in the bottom 5th as Zucal hit a leadoff single and he then ran three long counts against Morris, Mike Weber, and Ricardo Alvarez, issuing a 2-out walk to the last in that group. Elijah LaBat – himself just coming off a suspension – entered as replacement and got a groundout from .370 hitter Matt Kilday to Jon Bean to keep the two runners on base. Jarod Morris meanwhile had not issued a walk in the first five innings, which made it that more odd when he walked the bags full with the 4-5-6 batters and nobody out in the top 6th. Even odder: Tim Fuller pouncing at once and killing Morris’ outing with a screamer into the gap and a bases-clearing double, 5-1! Shane Fitzgibbon replaced Jarod Morris, got two outs, then walked Ben Morris and gave up an RBI single to Lonzo. The runners pulled off a naughty double steal – with Ben Morris reaching 50 stolen bases for the year – then scored both on a Caswell single to left that sent Fitzgibbon to bed as well. Ex-Coon Hyun-soo Bak rung up Brassfield to get out of the inning after six runs were scored.

The Coons were not done scoring, though. Right-hander Dave Corrao walked Brass and allowed a single to Starr in the ninth inning, then was taken deep with a 435-footer smashed by Tim Fuller, his second 3-RBI bash of the game. The Raccoons collected the remaining outs without accident from LaBat, Erickson, Aaron Harris, and Barton, who allowed a total of one base hit to the Indians while covering the last 4.1 innings. 11-1 Critters! Morris 3-4, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Lavorano 3-5, 2B, RBI; Starr 3-4, BB; Fuller 2-4, HR, 2B, 6 RBI;

Lonzo stole two bases in this game, giving him 46 for the year, not anywhere near the CL lead, and not even the leader on his own team, but he was now just four away with his career total from Coons legend “Berto” Ramos. Since there were only five games remaining and Lonzo was due at least one more off day, it was probably not something he’d accomplish this year.

Game 3
POR: 2B Ortega – SS Lavorano – RF Brassfield – 1B Tomlin – 3B N. Fox – CF Ayala – LF Kozak – C Arellano – P C. Fox
IND: SS Kilday – CF R. Alvarez – 1B Starwalt – C A. Gomez – RF Lovins – 2B Ewers – LF B. Johnston – 3B Zucal – P Sciuto

Final regular season start for Foxie Brown, and it didn’t look like it would be a good one. First, there were dark clouds overhead that would begin to empty as early as the third inning, and even before that the Indians hit three sharp singles (and more sharp balls for outs) in the first inning; finally, he bunted to force out Marcos Arellano after the catcher’s leadoff single in the third inning, then as punishment had to run hard to score from second base after both Bernie Ortega and Lonzo hit 1-out singles, taking a 1-0 lead. A right-center gap triple by Brassfield and a well-placed groundout by Tomlin added three more runs to run the score to 4-0.

There was a 30-minute rain delay after the third inning, but both pitchers initially continued after that. The Raccoons knocked out Sciuto in the fifth with straight 1-out singles by Lonzo, Brass, and Tomlin, the latter scoring Lonzo to increase the lead to 5-0. Fitzgibbon then restored order by getting Nick Fox and Ayala out. But Chance Fox also wouldn’t finish five innings, getting swatted around in the bottom 5th. Bryan Johnston, Roger Zucal, and Mike Weber hit three singles inside his first six pitches, plating one run, and Ricardo Alvarez added a second run with a sac fly after Kilday had grounded out. Starwalt’s RBI single up the middle reduced the score to 5-3 and was the end for Fox, who left to be replaced by Ryan Sullivan, who waved another run across on Alex Gomez’ RBI double on an 0-2 pitch. Chris Lovins grounded out, leaving the Raccoons with a skinny 5-4 lead.

Marcos Arellano’s first career-homer was a 2-piece in the sixth, following Kozak reaching base with a soft single, and increased the lead to 7-4 again, after which Mike Abrams, Justin Rocco, and Bryan Erickson took it upon themselves to explode for a NINE-spot in the bottom 6th. Abrams got one out for two hits allowed, while Rocco was bashed around for five hits and a wild pitch for one precious out, and Erickson added a wild pitch, a single, and a 3-run homer by Bryan Johnston, at which point – down 13-7 – the ball was given to J.J. Sensabaugh, since the game literally couldn’t get any worse anymore. He got the last seven outs needed for no hits allowed (but three walks), while the Raccoons never even feigned a rally. 13-7 Indians. Lavorano 3-5, RBI; Brassfield 2-4, BB, 3B, 2 RBI; Tomlin 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Arellano 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Morris (PH) 1-1; Sensabaugh 2.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 1 K and 1-1;

Well, that was rough. 13 runs in two innings.

Game 4
POR: LF B. Morris – RF Christopher – CF Caswell – 1B Starr – C Perez – SS Fowler – 3B N. Fox – 2B Bean – P Alba
IND: 2B M. Weber – CF R. Alvarez – SS Kilday – 1B Starwalt – RF Lovins – C A. Gomez – LF O. Ramos – 3B Zucal – P Pichardo

Neither side appeared to get much of a paw up in the early innings until Pichardo hit a 2-out single off Alba, who so far had retired eight in a row, and now served up a 2-run homer to Mike Weber for the first markers on the board. Cas singled to get the Raccoons into the H column with one out in the fourth, but was immediately doubled up by Joel Starr. Perez and Fowler opened the fifth with a pair of singles up the middle, and Nick Fox also landed a base hit into centerfield, beating Ricardo Alvarez’ range for an RBI double that put the tying and go-ahead runs in scoring position. Jon Bean was walked intentionally to get a K from Alba, but Picardo then also lost Ben Morris on balls and that forced in the tying run. Portland took a 3-2 lead on Joe-Chris’ sac fly, but Cas grounded out to Zucal to leave two stranded.

The Indians again scored with their 9-1 batters heavily involved in the process in the bottom 5th. Zucal hit a 2-out single, and Pichardo’s floater to center was mishandled and dropped by Caswell, putting a pair in scoring position there, too. Alba plated the tying run with a wild pitch before walking Weber before Alvarez grounded out to Nick Fox… Alba was then roughed up for another three runs in the bottom 6th, serving up a go-ahead homer to Starwalt (…) with Kilday on base before allowing a double to Lovins and waving that run around as well. The very annoying Pichardo next hit a leadoff double against Ricky Herrera in the bottom 7th and would come around to score there as well on Kilday’s 2-out single to center. 7-3 Indians. Perez 2-4;

Good, boys, sucking your way into the right groove to face the Loggers…!

Raccoons (91-68) @ Loggers (59-100) – September 30-October 2, 2061

Said Loggers had already rumbled to their 100th loss of the season, but still held an 8-7 edge in the season series. They were just vexingly unplayable with their second-fewest runs scored and second-most runs allowed, and their -176 run differential!

Projected matchups:
Tyler Riddle (12-5, 2.95 ERA) vs. Larry Wilson (4-8, 4.74 ERA)
Bobby Herrera (13-8, 3.21 ERA) vs. Bob Ruggiero (11-10, 4.46 ERA)
Nick Robinson (15-8, 2.98 ERA) vs. Oliver Graham (3-11, 5.27 ERA)

That was probably the order in which we wanted our pitchers for the playoffs, plus Chance Fox. The Loggers were only expected to send up right-handers.

Game 1
POR: LF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – RF Brassfield – C Perez – 3B Fowler – 2B Bean – CF Ayala – P Riddle
MIL: CF Franks – LF Garmon – 1B D. Robles – SS F. Carrera – 3B D. Miller – C M. Chavez – RF Milian – 2B Loftis – P L. Wilson

Wilson didn’t last one inning, leaving with arm trouble after allowing a run to score through a leadoff walk to Morris and a Brass RBI single. Matt Green, also right-handed, replaced him and gave up two more 2-out singles to Perez and Fowler, and one more run. Green walked the bags full in the second inning and gave up a 2-out, 2-run single to Brassfield before being yoinked for ex-Coon Julian Dunn, who grounded out Perez, then filled the bases in the fourth by allowing a set of singles to Riddle, Lonzo, and Starr, bringing up Brassfield again, this time with one out, but this time his fly to shallow center was caught by Scott Franks and not good enough to get a pitcher home from third base. Dunn then walked Perez with the bases loaded to force in a run anyway before Fowler flew out to David Milian.

Riddle was far from having a clean game, being slapped around for seven base hits in the first five innings, but the Loggers only got one run in the fourth inning when ex-Coon Marcos Chavez drove in Danny Miller before him and Milian, who singled, were left on base. In the end the Loggers got him for nine hits in 6.2 innings, but only the one run. Ralph Lange opened the bottom 7th with a leadoff single, but was doubled up by Franks, after which Riddle departed. Ruben Mendez collected four outs after him, and Ryan Sullivan finished out the game despite allowing a sharp leadoff single to Milian and a balk in the bottom 9th. 5-1 Raccoons. Lavorano 2-4, BB; Brassfield 2-4, 3 RBI; Riddle 6.2 IP, 9 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 2 K, W (13-5) and 2-3, BB;

Game 2
POR: LF Morris – SS Lavorano – CF Caswell – 1B Tomlin – 3B Fowler – C Fuller – 2B Bean – RF Christopher – P B. Herrera
MIL: CF Franks – 2B Garmon – SS F. Carrera – 1B D. Robles – RF D. Wright – 3B D. Miller – LF Reder – C M. Reed – P Ruggiero

Corey Garmon singled home Phil Reder and Mark Reed with two outs in the bottom 3rd, which was the first runs in the game, half an inning after Joe-Chris got on base, stole second base, and then went for home on Herrera’s single to center – but was thrown out by Franks. Those were the only runs in the first five innings, but the Raccoons came up with a 1-out walk drawn by Ben Morris in the sixth, and he would indeed score on a triple that Lonzo stuck into the leftfield corner. Cas couldn’t get the tying run home with a weak grounder to first base, but Tomlin lobbed a ball over Fidel Carrera to get Lonzo in with a 2-out single, tying the game at two. Fowler grounded out to keep it there, but Joe-Chris socked a homer over the fence in left in the seventh for a 3-2 lead.

Tipsy Bobby went seven, then hoped for some insurance in the top 8th, in which a Carrera error put Lonzo on base. He stole his 47th base of the year, but that was probably too late to think about tying Berto by tomorrow. He was left on base, however, and Carrera tried to make up for his mistake with a 2-out single off LaBat in the bottom 8th, but was left on when Morris snatched a fly Dave Robles – bidding for his 30th homer of the season – hit to deep left off Paul Barton. The Loggers didn’t get on against Walters in the ninth and were thus denied a season series win. 3-2 Raccoons. Christopher 2-3, HR, RBI; B. Herrera 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 5 K, W (14-8) and 1-3;

Game 3
POR: CF Christopher – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – RF Brassfield – C Perez – 3B N. Fox – 2B Bean – LF Kozak – P Robinson
MIL: CF Franks – LF Garmon – 1B D. Robles – SS F. Carrera – 3B D. Miller – C M. Chavez – RF Lock – 2B Loftis – P O. Graham

Oliver Graham managed to throw a 1-2 fastball into Joey Christopher’s foot and breaking it right at the start of the game – just imagine if that had been Ben Morris leading off…! As it was, Caswell was taking over the leadoff spot. Lonzo hit a single and Starr walked, after Christopher hobbled off with Luis Silva, but Brass whiffed. Perez’ RBI single put the Coons on the board, and a second run scored on Nick Fox’ groundout, but Bean’s grounder ended the inning. The Loggers threatened in the second inning, where they got a pair in scoring position with Carrera and Miller before Robinson struck out two, was instructed to put the righty Jeremy Loftis on base, and then struck out Graham; and again in the fourth, then with Chavez and Matt Lock going to the corners, but Loftis now struck out to end the inning.

Top 5th, Cas doubled to left to begin the inning. Lonzo flew out, Starr walked, and Brass singled to center, with Franks bobbling the ball for an error, allowing Cas to score uncontested. The remaining runners went into scoring position on the bobble, and Angel Perez was intentionally walked to fill them up. Nick Fox brought in a run with a groundout for the second time in the game. Graham was lifted after this, down 4-0, and Matt Green got the last out here from Bean, but then disappeared in the tunnel with the Loggers trainer and was also out of the game with an injury.

While Dave Robles got that 30th homer off Robinson with a solo jack in the bottom 6th, 4-1, the Loggers also put Chavez and Lock on the corners again before Loftis popped out to keep them stranded. Robinson got two more outs, finishing his regular season with a K to Scott Franks before departing after 105 pitches. Erickson got a singular out on a Garmon pop to complete the seventh. Top 8th, ex-Coon Raul Medrano allowed singles to Bean and Forbes Tomlin, then got burned when Caswell struck a ball into the leftfield corner with two outs and a 3-2 count, easily allowing the runners to score on the double. Lonzo added an RBI single against Ricky Pippin, then was run for with Fowler, who took over at short after Starr flew out to left to end the inning.

The Coons sent Barton into the 7-1 game for the bottom 8th, which soon became dicey. Carrera homered to right, and Miller, Lock, and Loftis all got on base, plating another run and prompting another move to the pen to get Ricky H. once Phil Reder pinch-hit in the #9 hole. Morris ran down Reder’s fly to left-center to end the inning and strand a pair. Julian Dunn answered with a run in the top 9th, allowing three singles and throwing a wild pitch with the bases loaded to extend the lead to five runs again. It was still a save chance for Ricky Herrera, though, who returned to the hill in the bottom 9th, but gave up a leadoff triple in the right-center gap to Scott Franks. Garmon popped out to Bean. Robles popped out to Tomlin at first base. And Carrera popped out to Nick Fox in foul ground…! 8-3 Raccoons! Caswell 2-5, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Lavorano 2-5, RBI; Brassfield 3-4, BB, RBI; Arellano (PH) 1-1; Tomlin (PH) 2-2; Robinson 6.2 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, W (16-8); R. Herrera 1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K, SV (5);

In other news

September 26 – Only three total hits are landed in the Titans’ 1-0 win against the Crusaders, and none of them in the game-deciding first-inning run that comes together on three walks and a sac fly hit by BOS RF/LF Andy Lee (.263, 14 HR, 65 RBI). New York gets two singles, and BOS INF Diego Mendoza (.269, 13 HR, 64 RBI) lands the only base hit for Boston.
September 26 – Scorpions SP Jay Everett (6-8, 4.88 ERA) goes seven scoreless and drives in the only run in a 1-0 win against the Pacifics with a 2-out RBI single against LAP SP Dave Robinson (5-7, 3.39 ERA), who pitches a 3-hitter in a complete-game loss.
September 28 – Miners 1B Kevin Price (.288, 11 HR, 63 RBI) has hit in 20 straight games with an eighth-inning single in a 7-1 loss to the Cyclones.
September 29 – The Capitals clinch the FL East with a 4-2 win over the Blue Sox.
September 30 – The playoff field is completed by the Warriors winning the FL West with a 3-2 win against the Gold Sox.
September 30 – NYC SP Jose Ortega (10-12, 2.61 ERA) throws a 3-hit shutout to beat the Canadiens, 5-0.
October 1 – PIT 3B Juan Ojeda (.314, 1 HR, 43 RBI) goes 3-for-6 in a 13-inning, 8-6 win against the Buffaloes and reaches 2,000 career hits. Just shy of 34 years old, Ojeda is a career .293/.326/.371 hitter with 24 HR, 626 RBI, and 364 SB. The milestone is a single off TOP SP Pablo Lara (13-10, 3.15 ERA).
October 1 – In the same game, the hitting streak of PIT 1B Kevin Price (.286, 12 HR, 65 RBI) ends at 21 games.
October 1 – DEN CL David Hardaway (2-5, 3.16 ERA, 34 SV) puts up his 400th career save in a 9-7 win against the Warriors. The 37-year-old 3-time CL Reliever of the Year, who is in his first season outside the Knights organization since 2043, has a career 2.85 ERA with 83-68 record and 908 K in 1,018.1 innings.
October 2 – Terrible blow suffered by the playoff-bound Bayhawks on Closing Day, as 24-year-old LF Grant Anker (.305, 35 HR, 146 RBI) breaks his arm in a meaningless game and will miss the playoffs.

FL Hitter of the Month: SFW 1B Miguel Medina (.294, 31 HR, 125 RBI), socking .364 with 8 HR, 25 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: SFB 2B/LF Armando Montoya (.304, 21 HR, 121 RBI), swatting .417 with 7 HR, 28 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: NAS SP Juan Sanchez (17-8, 3.03 ERA), going 5-1 with a 2.36 ERA, 33 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: LVA SP Steve Hunter (14-7, 3.04 ERA), hurling for a 5-1 mark with 2.25 ERA, 33 K
FL Rookie of the Month: SAC SP Danny Ortiz (11-5, 4.53 ERA), a perfect 6-0 with a 4.99 ERA, 19 K
CL Rookie of the Month: OCT C Steve Preston (.346, 6 HR, 41 RBI), hitting .385 with 2 HR, 15 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Okay. I was ready to concede the CLCS right away to the Bayhawks, but the offense finally picked it up again, and then Grant Anker broke his arm on Closing Day, which just casually removed the probable Player of the Year from their lineup. I mean, they still have two guys with 110+ RBI, but that’s a huuuuuuge L!

And I was gonna cry over Joey Christopher, a bench bat!

The Raccoons finished the year without losing a season series against a division rival (but don’t ask how those Baybirds games went). We won 14 each against New York and Boston, 10 each against the damn Elks and the Loggers, and split the series with the Indians. The last time we managed to tie or win the series against all five division rivals was in 2048, and the last time we won all five of them was in 2028. Both those years were pennant seasons. We did the “all W or draws” in 2038 as well, however, but that year went bloody nowhere.

Now it’s about resting for a day or two, a trip to the Bay of Evil, and figure out what to do with the roster for the CLCS.

Fun Fact: Lonzo will start the new season in 2062 three stolen bases behind good old Berto Ramos.

Lonzo stole 12 bases in the last quarter and 47 for the year and kept outdoing the competition near and far. Vasquez got only one more base in the last quarter and just seven for the entire year. Omar Sanchez took six more before hitting the DL late in the season, and Danny Ceballos got three. Navarro didn’t steal any more bases, losing his spot in the lineup to 26-year-old sophomore Justin Finnegan in September.

1st – Pablo Sanchez (HOF) – 721
2nd – Enrique “Cosmo” Trevino (HOF) – 708
3rd – Guillermo Obando (HOF) – 686
4th – Alberto “Berto” Ramos (HOF) – 677
5th – Lorenzo Lavorano (active) – 674
6th – Alex Vasquez (active) – 650
7th – Rich de Luna – 570
8th – Omar Sanchez (active) – 558
9th – Danny Ceballos (active) – 527
10th – Chris Navarro (active) – 516

If Lonzo could put up another 47 stolen bases next year, he’d tie Pablo Sanchez for the all-time lead!

[Westheim]

2061 CONTINENTAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES
Portland Raccoons (94-68) vs. San Francisco Bayhawks (100-62)

The first playoff participation for the Portlanders in six years required some initial bookkeeping. In theory, the Raccoons had 26 playoff-eligible players; the 25-man roster from August 31 plus Ryan Sullivan, who was on a rehab assignment at that point.

However, Joey Christopher had broken his foot on Closing Day, removing an outfielder from the equation. He was placed on the DL and this allowed us an option for an additional batter. Rather than bringing on an outfielder with little experience against big league pitching – Todd Oley anyone? – we went with Forbes Tomlin, who was at least a weird rookie threat off the bench.

At the same time, Paul Barton and his late-season meltdown were left off the playoff roster in favor of Ryan Sullivan.

+++

The Raccoons had finished the season with the fifth-most runs and the second-fewest runs allowed, but only a +90 run differential. They were up against the #1 offense in the league, the Bayhawks having pumped out 897 runs, although their pitching had been serviceable at best and they had lost Kyle Turay from an already strained rotation in late September as well. Worse was the hit to their lineup they had suffered when Grant Anker (.305, 35 HR, 146 RBI) had broken his arm on Closing Day – THAT was gonna sting. Not that they didn’t have other batters. Everybody knew how Armando Montoya (.302, 21 HR, 123 RBI) and Dan Sandoval (.281, 23 HR, 111 RBI) could dole out the hurt, although the bottom of the lineup wasn’t that potent, and along with Anker they were also missing another outfielder in Scott Laws, and infielder Xavier Reyes was day-to-day with a bruised thumb to begin the series.

So yeah, they had a +166 run differential, but they had taken a hit or two, and their pitching looked very beatable if the Coons’ offense brought up it’s late-September performance, not the early-September performance.

A word on handedness; the Raccoons would bring three left-handed starters besides Bobby Herrera, and the meat of the Bayhawks’ lineup – except for Montoya – were all left-handed batters. The only southpaw starter for San Francisco would be Bill Grau (12-5, 2.74 ERA), who also led them in ERA (in theory, he had actually only pitched 157.2 innings due to injury), but the Coons could bring up a very balanced lineup against right-handers. Both teams had *four* left-handed relievers on hand for the series.

[Westheim]

2061 CONTINENTAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES
Portland Raccoons (94-68) @ San Francisco Bayhawks (100-62)

The Raccoons entered the playoffs as the bottom seed so we wouldn’t have home field advantage in any scenario for the rest of the month.

Game 1 – Tyler Riddle (13-5, 2.87 ERA) vs. Joe Chalmers (15-3, 3.40 ERA)

Joe Chalmers, who had gone 17-39 in the three prior seasons combined, had really shone with an offense that was putting up five-and-a-half runs per game, but his 2-0 record against Portland this year came from two solid starts in which he put up a 1.88 ERA. Riddle hadn’t met the Bayhawks all year long.

POR: LF Morris – SS Lavorano – CF Caswell – RF Brassfield – 1B Starr – C Perez – 3B N. Fowler – 2B Bean – P Riddle
SFB: LF Escalera – 1B P. Fowler – SS X. Reyes – 2B A. Montoya – 3B D. Sandoval – RF Grewe – CF D. Silva – C Redfern – P Chalmers

The Raccoons clipped Chalmers for five hits the first time through and barely scored a second-inning run on Tyler Riddle’s own 2-out RBI single; Lonzo and Cas hit singles and were stranded in the first, while Starr hit a leadoff double and Perez singled before two poor outs were made by Fowler and Bean in the top 2nd before the pitcher came through. Morris grounded out to end the inning, and then Armando Montoya immediately took it all away with a leadoff jack to right in the bottom 2nd, followed by a Dan Sandoval double, Bobby Grewe’s single, and after David Silva popped out, a run-scoring groundout for Keith Redfern, flipping the score to 2-1 Bayhawks.

Armando Montoya was ready to be his usual terror and drove in another run right away in the bottom 3rd when Xavier Reyes singled and stole second, setting Montoya up for a 2-out RBI single of his own. Sandoval grounded out to end the inning, but the Raccoons were not rallying in any shape or form at this point. Angel Perez reached on an error in the fourth, and that was about it for the time being.

Chalmers hit a leadoff double off Riddle in the bottom 5th that almost knocked out the Coons’ starter, but Jose Escalera grounded out, Pat Fowler whiffed, and then Reyes grounded out to short. As it was, knocking out the Coons’ starter was left to Bobby Grewe, knocking a solo homer over the wall in leftfield in the bottom 6th, which extended the Bayhawks’ lead to 4-1. Abrams would get the last out of the inning, then was hit for in the top 7th after Jon Bean’s leadoff single off Chalmers. Tomlin struck out, and the 1-2 batters didn’t do much better.

Pat Fowler and Reyes hit singles off LaBat in the bottom 7th, with Ryan Sullivan required to get Montoya out without completely exploding the score.

Chalmers pitched into the eighth, but allowed a 1-out single to Brassfield before being removed. Ryan Dow immediately surrendered an RBI double to left-center to Joel Starr, narrowing the score to 4-2 and bringing the tying run to the plate but Perez struck out. Lefty Zane Fenlon then appeared against Nick Fowler, who was hit for with Tim Fuller, who hit a fly to deep left, but it ended up with Escalera on the warning track and the inning ended. Grewe and Silva singles and Redfern’s sac fly then clawed the lone run scored right back again in the bottom 8th.

The tying run did come back to the plate in the ninth, however. Southpaw Travis Davis issued a leadoff walk to Bernie Ortega, batting for Bean, and Morris hit a 1-out single. Lonzo, who hadn’t homered since April, flew out to Silva in shallow center before a 2-out walk to Caswell loaded the bases for Brassfield. The count ran full before Brass struck a fastball into centerfield for a 2-run single, narrowing the score to 5-4, and with Caswell dashing to third base with the tying run! The Bayhawks reacted with a pitching change, bringing righty Zach Johnson for Joel Starr, a curious choice (regardless, the Coons had already emptied their bench entirely). Starr popped out to Montoya on a 1-1 pitch to end the game.

Bayhawks 5, Raccoons 4 – Bayhawks lead series 1-0

Caswell 2-4, BB; Brassfield 2-5, 2 RBI; Starr 2-5, 2 2B, RBI; Bean 2-3;

Pfffff….

Game 2 – Bobby Herrera (14-8, 3.19 ERA) vs. Hector Montenegro (6-5, 5.57 ERA)

When a back injury wasn’t putting him on the sidelines in 2061, Hector Montenegro had been terrible. He faced the Coons once, allowing four runs in five innings in a no-decision in April. Tipsy Bobby went 0-2 in three starts against the Baybirds. Once it was his fault, twice the offense’s refusal to do anything, but the resulting 5.19 ERA was still ghastly. For what it was worth, the 6-run shellacking he received from the Bayhawks in June was his second-worst start of the year. Only the Loggers had mauled him harder at one point.

The Loggers…!

POR: LF Morris – SS Lavorano – CF Caswell – RF Brassfield – 1B Starr – C Perez – 3B N. Fowler – 2B Bean – P B. Herrera
SFB: SS X. Reyes – LF Escalera – 2B A. Montoya – 3B D. Sandoval – 1B P. Fowler – C Cantu – RF Grewe – CF D. Silva – P H. Montenegro

The Raccoons took the lead again, this time in the first inning, when Ben Morris singled and stole second base, then came home on Brass’ 2-out RBI double to right. Perez’ sharp grounder up the middle was intercepted by Reyes, and taken for the third out, though. Jon Bean hit a double in the second inning, but was left on by Herrera, and Morris was on base with another leadoff single in the third inning, but then doubled up by Lonzo. Brass hit a leadoff single in the fourth, but was caught stealing.

Meanwhile, Bobby H. retired the Baybirds in order for 24 pitches the first time through, which looked treacherously easy. Reyes then strung a single to left on an 0-2 pitch to begin the bottom 4th, and Escalera legged out an infield roller for another single right away. Montoya spanked a ball into a 4-6-3 double play, and Herrera got the K in on Sandoval to strand Reyes and the tying run at third base. Pat Fowler drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 5th from Herrera, but San Fran continued with two pops to the left side of the infield and then Silva struck out.

While Tipsy Bobby had to fight his way around a leadoff single by Montenegro in the bottom 6th and barely got Montoya to fly out to keep the tying run at third base once more, the Raccoons got as much as a second run to the game when Brassfield socked a leadoff jack to left-center in the seventh inning after the team had pretty much disappeared in order since he had been caught stealing in the fourth. Starr hit a double to right, but Perez popped out and Fowler drew a walk from Montenegro before Bean found a spot in right-center to drop an RBI single into, 3-0. Herrera batted for himself and popped out, but when Montenegro walked Morris, he was axed. Right-hander Jorge Solis got Lonzo with the bases loaded and two down, but gave up a cracking 2-run single to left-center. Cas’ groundout ended a 4-spot.

The Baybirds reached the board in the same inning… getting a double from Jose Cantu, and Tipsy Bobby plating their first run with a 2-out wild pitch before letting David Silva fly out to Caswell…

Top 8th, Brass hit a leadoff double and Starr was walked with intent for Solis to get a double play grounder from Perez, which he did. Nick Fowler flew out to Silva and that was the inning. The Coons ran Herrera back out for the bottom 8th, where he allowed a pinch-hit double to Hugo Munoz and a 2-run homer to Reyes, then was yanked without getting anybody out anymore. Justin Rocco got out of the inning for nothing further than a 2-out single by Sandoval, but the lead was down to 5-3.

But, boy, did the Coons answer to that! Ryan Dow allowed leadoff doubles to Bean and Nick Fox to begin the ninth inning, so one run was already in, then a 2-out RBI single to Caswell. Fenlon replaced him, walked Brass, saw Tomlin (batting for Starr) reach on an error by Sandoval, and then allowed another two runs on a Perez single before the inning fizzled out. The 6-run lead that resulted emboldened us to send Justin DeRose into the bottom 9th, so he had to put the first two batters on base and allowed a run, but at least he ended the game and tied the series.

Raccoons 9, Bayhawks 4 – seried tied 1-1

Morris 2-3, 2 BB; Brassfield 4-4, BB, HR, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Bean 3-4, 2 2B, RBI; N. Fox (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; B. Herrera 7.0 IP, 6 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, W (1-0);

Back home to Portland with a 1-1 tie.

[Westheim]

2061 CONTINENTAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES
Portland Raccoons (94-68) vs. San Francisco Bayhawks (100-62)

The Raccoons came back to Portland with the Baybirds in tow and the flipped concept of “homefield advantage” after splitting the first two games at the Bay of Remorse.

Game 3 – Nick Robinson (16-8, 2.93 ERA) vs. Jeff Crowley (15-7, 3.57 ERA)

Very important game coming up here, as I was never brave enough to trust Chance Fox, who was up in Game 4, and so Robinson was kindly invited to give us a series lead here. He had gone 1-0 with a 2.57 ERA in two starts against the Baybirds this year. The forkballer Crowley had not faced the Raccoons in any of the three series played during the regular season.

The ceremonial first pitch was thrown out by former Raccoons closer Josh Rella, who led the CL in saves once, and who had snatched a comebacker from Celio Umbreiro and had turned it into a game-ending, ring-clinching double play in Game 4 of the 2044 World Series against the Cyclones.

With no left-handed Bill Grau turning up yet, the Raccoons saw no reason to make changes to the lineup at this point.

SFB: LF Escalera – 1B P. Fowler – SS X. Reyes – 2B A. Montoya – 3B D. Sandoval – RF Grewe – CF D. Silva – C Redfern – P Crowley
POR: LF Morris – SS Lavorano – CF Caswell – RF Brassfield – 1B Starr – C Perez – 3B N. Fowler – 2B Bean – P Robinson

Lonzo in the first and Montoya in the second both hit a single and stole second, and neither runner was brought around to score. Starr and Perez got on to begin the bottom 2nd, but the 7-8-9 batters made three weak outs and no runs were scored.

More concerning was that Nick Robinson needed 46 pitches to get through the lineup *once*, although he at least didn’t have runs fly on the board, although Escalera and Reyes went to the corners with singles in the third inning before Montoya struck out on three pitches to leave them there.

Trent Brassfield upped his batting average in the series to .636 with a 2-out RBI single, bringing in Ben Morris with the game’s first run in the bottom 3rd. He also stole second base, but was left on when Starr grounded out to Reyes. Unfortunately the Bayhawks rapidly tied the game in the fourth inning, getting a leadoff single from Sandoval, a double to right from Bobby Grewe, and then a run-scoring groundout off the bat of Silva. Their battery struck out, leaving Grewe at second base, but the score was even at one.

Top 5th, and Escalera and Reyes bashed a pair of doubles to left to put San Fran up 2-1. Worse, Reyes stole third base and then scored on Montoya’s grounder to short, 3-1. The Raccoons replied when Bernie Ortega batted for Robinson to start the bottom 5th, doubled off the wall, and then advanced on Morris’ groundout and scored on a sac fly by Lonzo, but that only reduced the gap to 3-2.

Brass to the rescue – the red-hot rightfielder drilled a triple into the right-center gap to begin the bottom 6th. Crowley tenderly walked Starr, then gave up an RBI single to Perez, which tied the game, before Fowler blundered into a double play and Bean flew out to leave the go-ahead run on third base.

Don’t mind if we do then, replied the Bayhawks, and got rolling against Rocco in the seventh. He nicked PH Ikuo Ogawa, which wasn’t great, then gave up a single to Reyes, and a booming 3-run homer to Armando Montoya, the persistent monster. For good measure, left-hander Dan Sandoval hit *another* homer on his next pitch, and it was time to open the Capt’n Coma.

Bottom 7th, down 7-3, and after Nick Fox made an out, Crowley bid farewell to the game by loading the bases with the Coons’ 1-2-3 batters, bringing up the .667, 1 HR, 5 RBI menace Trent Brassfield as the tying run. The Baybirds went to Zach Johnson, who fell behind 2-0 before getting … an infield pop to second baseman Montoya. Oh noes…! And here was Starr, and … he popped out to Sandoval… (shrinks into the cushions)

In turn, Abrams loaded the bases in the top 8th and Ruben Mendez couldn’t find a way out, of course allowing two runs to score. By the ninth we were beaten well enough to bring in DeRose, who continued to decompose in plain sight by allowing three more hits, a walk, and three runs, including a 2-run homer by Jose Cantu.

Bayhawks 12, Raccoons 3 – Bayhawks lead series 2-1

Lavorano 2-4, RBI; Fuller (PH) 1-1; Brassfield 2-4, BB, 3B, RBI; Perez 2-4, RBI; Ortega (PH) 1-1, 2B;

(suckles on his Capt’n Coma bottle, gloomily)

Game 4 – Chance Fox (11-9, 3.04 ERA) vs. Bill Grau (12-5, 2.74 ERA)

The Raccoons needed a good long outing from Foxie Brown more than ever, as the bullpen obviously was not up to snuff against the Bayhawks lineup, with or without Grant Anker. Fox had two no-decisions with a 4.63 ERA in two starts that the Coons eventually lost this year, while Grau was 1-1 in three starts against Portland this season, having posted a 2.38 ERA against them. Well, this boded well…!

The Raccoons went quite all-out as far as right-handed batters were concerned against the southpaw here, with even Caswell getting sat down for Felix Ayala. The only lefty bat in the lineup was Ben Morris, since the idea of playing the backup catcher Fuller in leftfield just for the assumed platoon advantage seemed a bit too desperate even for me and my most cherished advisor… (Cristiano Carmona’s ears perk up) …Honeypaws! (squeezes stuffed toy raccoon against his cheek)

The ceremonial first pitch was thrown out by Monsieur Facheux, Portland’s most famous pantomime, who was relentlessly pelted with all sorts of debris during the ceremony.

SFB: LF Escalera – 1B P. Fowler – SS X. Reyes – 2B A. Montoya – 3B D. Sandoval – RF Grewe – CF D. Silva – C Redfern – P Grau
POR: LF Morris – SS Lavorano – RF Brassfield – C Perez – 1B Tomlin – 3B N. Fox – CF Ayala – 2B Ortega – P C. Fox

And just because, and to make me look sillier than guy in white facepaint, Morris dropped an Escalera pop in foul ground during the first at-bat of the game, giving him an error right away. Escalera eventually hit a fly to Morris, and he at least caught that one – then hit a leadoff jack in the bottom 1st! Lonzo got plunked and doubled off by Brassfield. Bottom 2nd, Tomlin walked and Nick Fox singled, but then was forced out by Ayala’s grounder to short. Ortega came through, though, singling through the left side to get Forbes Tomlin home from third base, 2-0. Grau then managed to issue a walk to the .061 hitter Chance Fox, loading the bases for Morris, who got a run in with a groundout. Lonzo walked, and Brass’ deep fly was tracked down by Escalera to end the inning.

Chance Fox allowed a single in each of the first two innings, but it got stupider in the third, when Grau nicked him for a leadoff single, then came around to score on Reyes’ 2-out single to center, 3-1. Montoya made the third out, but a walk to Bobby Grewe and a 418-footer to left mashed by David Silva tied the game by the fourth inning… Not enough with that, but Keith Redfern drew another walk right afterwards and was driven in by Escalera with a 2-out knock to give San Francisco the lead…

Fox was yanked in the fifth with Reyes and Sandoval on the corners after another pair of singles, and one out. Ryan Sullivan came in and retired ******* nobody, allowing RBI singles to Grewe and Silva before Redfern reached on an error by Lonzo that also cost another run. Ricky Herrera came in next, struck out Grau, and then gave up a triple to Escalera, singles to Pat Fowler and Reyes, and by that point the Bayhawks had run away with a 10-3 lead, even when Montoya flew out to Ayala to end the top 5th, with ten unanswered runs in just three innings. That wasn’t even all of it, as Sandoval hit another solo homer off Ricky Herrera in the sixth inning, increasing the battering to 11-3.

Grau hung on until 2-out walks to Lonzo and Brass in the bottom 7th indicated that he was done. Jesse Connors then got Perez to ground out to end the inning. The left-handed Connors was then charged a run in the eighth when Nick Fox and Ayala went to the corners and Ortega’s grounder to short with one out wasn’t turned for two more outs by the Bayhawks, allowing Fox to score a meaningless run. Fuller then struck out.

Bayhawks 11, Raccoons 4 – Bayhawks lead series 3-1

Lavorano 1-2, 2 BB; Abrams 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

The air was pretty much out of the series at this point…

Game 5 – Tyler Riddle (13-5, 2.87 ERA) vs. Joe Chalmers (15-3, 3.40 ERA)

Both teams reverted to their Game 1 starter for the Portland finale (for the season…), the only game in the series that didn’t end with a lopsided score. The Raccoons were by now out-punched 32-20, which was kinda on par for having lost seven of nine games this year to the Bayhawks even before October.

The ceremonial first pitch was thrown out by Ed Longtooth, Portland’s best-known freelance educator, who had made it his life’s mission to teach children about nature by hanging out in public parks in funny looking animal costumes. He wore a specially designed raccoon costume with particularly astonishing whiskers for the occasion, then disappeared in the clubhouse tunnel with the boy choir that had angelically sung the national anthem.

(raises an eyebrow)

Maud, maybe you should check in on them. Take a broomstick.

SFB: LF Escalera – 1B P. Fowler – SS X. Reyes – 2B A. Montoya – 3B D. Sandoval – RF Grewe – CF D. Silva – C Redfern – P Chalmers
POR: LF Morris – SS Lavorano – CF Caswell – RF Brassfield – 1B Starr – C Perez – 3B N. Fox – 2B Bean – P Riddle

Tyler Riddle got beaten even faster than Mr. Longtooth, walking Escalera to begin the game and giving up a 2-run bomb to straightaway center to Pat Fowler to trail 2-0 after six pitches. Reyes singled, was balked to second base, and then scored on Sandoval’s homer to right, 4-0. And the Raccoons pulled the plug on Riddle right there. After FIVE batters and FOUR runs. Reasoning that Justin DeRose couldn’t possibly be worse, banking on a Coons rally to level out the score before the Bayhawks could return DeRose to sender with his underpants on his head was the last terrible bet we had.

In the end it couldn’t work out because the Raccoons couldn’t even get on base. Their only runner the first time through was Nick Fox, who got beaned by Chalmers and then double-foxed off the basepaths by Jon Nickerson or whatever. They all neded to GO …!

DeRose pitched 3.2 innings on 56 pitches, somehow bloody not allowing a run, but Chalmers was still having his no-hitter, so that was that, and then LaBat loaded the bases for no good reason in the fifth inning, putting Pat Fowler, Reyes, and Montoya on base before giving up a 2-out, 2-run single to Bobby Grewe … and with two strikes! Silva struck out to strand two, as if it still mattered… When Joel Starr walked in the bottom 5th, he was immediately involved in another ****** 6-4-3 with Perez.

Chalmers took his no-hitter to the eighth inning before Brass got him for a leadoff single to left. Starr singled, but Perez whiffed. Nick Fox doubled to left to plate Brass and get a run on the board, 6-1. Jon Bean grounded out to Pat Fowler, except that Fowler bungled the ball and kicked it into foul ground, allowing Bean on base and another run to score. Nick Fowler then batted for Ruben Mendez and like a pro found a 6-4-3 to hit into. Matt Walters then made his only appearance of the series, down by a slam in the ninth and got three outs in due time, while San Francisco sent Travis Davis for the bottom 9th against the top of the Coons’ order. Ayala popped out to short in place of Morris against the southpaw. Lonzo grounded out to short. Cas flew out to Silva.

Bayhawks 6, Raccoons 2 – Bayhawks win series 4-1

Starr 1-2, BB; N. Fox 1-2, 2B, RBI; DeRose 3.2 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K;

[Westheim]

2061 FLCS

In the FLCS, the 100-62 Warriors had home field advantage clinched by taking the FL West mostly on pitching, which was surely a novel way to go about things. They allowed the fewest runs in the Federal League, and scored the fourth-most for a +143 run differential. What offense was there was led by Miguel Medina (.296, 32 HR, 126 RBI) having an outstanding season, while Alex Dominguez (12-11, 2.95 ERA) led the team in ERA, but not necessarily in run support. They sported the second-best defense, second-best pen, and the best rotation by ERA. Offensively they at least had a dense lineup to offer with five players hitting double-digit dingers, even though the batting averages tried up a bit towards the bottom of the order.

On the other side, the 95-67 Capitals had run up the score on offense, scoring the most runs in the Federal League, although the pitching had been… an adventure, giving up the fifth-most runs and leaving them with only a +52 run differential. Even more wonderous was how they had put the most runs together after all, because they had no .300 hitters, nobody had driven in a 100 runs, or hit more than 16 homers. The team OBP was .362 though, the best in the league by a good margin, and in all other categories, batting average and bombs and steals, they were average at best. That was still more than what could be said about the pitching, which was struggling to live up to even that standard, with an average rotation and a porous and volatile bullpen, all of which was made even more entertaining in all the wrong ways by the second-worst defense in their league. So HOW had they won the division again…?

The Warriors had also roughed up the Capitals in the season series, winning eight of the nine games played.

+++

WAS @ SFW … 5-4 (12) … (Capitals lead 1-0) … WAS Joo-chan Lee 4-5, BB, RBI; WAS Angelo Flores 3-5, BB, HR, RBI;

Ben Lussier (0-0, 27.00 ERA) blows the Capitals’ lead in the ninth inning, but the tab is picked up by Angelo Flores with a 12th-inning homer off the Warriors Kenny Donnelly (0-1, 3.38 ERA).

WAS @ SFW … 15-3 … (Capitals lead 2-0) … WAS Jamie Sherrick 2-5, BB; WAS Joo-chan Lee 2-3, BB, 2 RBI; WAS Raul Sevilla 2-5, HR, 5 RBI; WAS Angelo Flores 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; WAS Tony Rodriquez 3-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; WAS David Flores 3-5, 2B, RBI; WAS Chris Gowin 2-4, BB, 2 RBI;

SFW @ WAS … 1-4 … (Capitals lead 3-0) … WAS A.C. Stebbins 7.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 6 K, W (1-0);

SFW @ WAS … 15-4 … (Capitals lead 3-1) … SFW Ben Wilken 3-5, HR, 4 RBI; SFW Mike DeFusco 2-5, RBI; SFW Cory Oldfield 3-5, HR, 3 RBI; SFW John Kaniewski 3-4, HR, 2 2B, 4 RBI; SFW Kenny Donnelly 3.2 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 2 K, W (1-1); WAS Raul Sevilla 2-4, HR, 2 RBI;

Oh, there are the Warriors. Losing Jonathan Vale to injury in the second inning, they are picked up by long man Kenny Donnelly (1-1, 2.84 ERA) and an all-out assault on the Capitals’ pitching staff which finally lives up to its reputation.

SFW @ WAS … 1-3 … (Capitals win 4-1) … WAS Jon Reyes 7.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 7 K, W (1-0);

Regular season, schmegular season!

+++

2061 WORLD SERIES

The 100-62 Bayhawks had home field advantage in the World Series thanks to their record and the Warriors getting upended by the Capitals in the FLCS. They brought the best offense in the entire league, outscoring the Capitals by over 80 runs, and just enough pitching to not fall apart – it was really a duel of two similarly constructed teams with a lot of punch and not a lot of capacity to take equally. Grant Anker (.305, 35 HR, 146 RBI) had destroyed pitching all year long, but had broken his arm on Closing Day and was unavailable for the Bayhawks, who were also without Kyle Turay and Scott Laws, but still brought up a formidable lineup with Armando Montoya (.302, 21 HR, 123 RBI), Dan Sandoval (.281, 23 HR, 111 RBI), and Jose Escalera (.335, 11 HR, 76 RBI) around the middle that had just completely destroyed a rather well-pitching Raccoons team in the CLCS. The rotation was serviceable, but the bullpen was full of horrors.

Same for the 95-67 Capitals really, except that they lacked the raw power of the Bayhawks and were anaconda-ing opposing teams to death, which could still yet happen to the Bayhawks. Besides Jon Reyes (13-8, 3.02 ERA), the rotation was not exciting, and the bullpen had ever-hit-and-miss Ben Lussier (9-5, 4.20 ERA, 44 SV) at the *end* and got worse from there. They were down two pitchers in Vince Vandiver (9-7, 4.39 ERA) and veteran Joe Byrd, but it wasn’t like those two would have made any difference at this point.

The Bayhawks also seemed to enjoy a platoon advantage with their mostly left-handed meat of the order and the Capitals having only one lefty starter, A.C. Stebbins (16-7, 3.58 ERA), and one lefty reliever outside of Lussier.

These teams had never before met in the World Series. Both had significant title droughts of 18 years (San Fran) and 26 years (Washington).

+++

WAS @ SFB … 4-8 … (Bayhawks lead 1-0) … WAS Jamie Sherrick 3-4, BB, RBI; SFB Xavier Reyes 3-4, BB, RBI; SFB Jose Escalera 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; SFB Pat Fowler 3-3, BB, RBI;

WAS @ SFB … 3-5 … (Bayhawks lead 2-0) … WAS Angelo Flores 2-4, 2B, RBI; SFB Jose Cantu 2-4, HR, RBI; SFB Jeff Crowley 7.0 IP, 9 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, W (2-0) and 1-2, 2B, 2 RBI;

Crowley (2-0, 4.05 ERA) wasn’t even pitching that great, but hit a game-tying 2-run double off WAS Trevor Justesen (0-1, 7.50 ERA) to get himself off the hook and then added a couple more shutout innings to allow his team to get in front and take a 2-0 series lead to Washington.

SFB @ WAS … 5-7 … (Bayhawks lead 2-1) … SFB Xavier Reyes 2-3, 2 BB; SFB Joe Chalmers 7.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 3 K; WAS Chris Gowin 2-4, HR, 4 RBI;

The Caps do next to nothing for seven innings, then suddenly destroy the entire Bayhawks bullpen in a 5-run rally in the bottom 8th, scoring their five runs off five different pitchers, three of whom don’t get an out.

SFB @ WAS … 2-1 (10) … (Bayhawks lead 3-1) … SFB Armando Montoya 2-4, BB, HR, RBI; SFB David Silva 2-2, BB, RBI; WAS Esteban Sanches 1-2, BB, HR, RBI;

Ben Lussier (0-1, 9.00, 3 SV) strikes again, blowing a 1-0 lead in the ninth before also giving up the game-winning home run to Armando Montoya in the 10th inning.

SFB @ WAS … 4-0 … (Bayhawks win 4-1) … SFB Armando Montoya 2-4, BB, 3 RBI; SFB Keith Redfern 2-2, RBI; WAS Jamie Sherrick 3-4, BB;

San Fran’s Hector Montenegro (1-1, 4.32 ERA) somehow pitches 5.2 innings while allowing six hits, five walks, and striking out nobody, AND gets away with the ring-securing Game 5 win with it. The Caps, who never strike out against the bullpen either, put 17 men on base with hits and walks, hit into four double plays, lose another runner on a baserunning blunder, and strand a full dozen on their way back to the drawing board.

+++

2061 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS
San Francisco Bayhawks
(3rd title)

[Westheim]

I didn’t speak for three days, didn’t change clothes for five, and didn’t clean my fur for over a week after the brutal CLCS exit against the Bayhawks – nothing out of the ordinary here.

The first business of the new offseason was the notification by his secretary, who seemed younger and more generously supplied in the chest area than the previous secretary for the third year in a row, that Nick Brown in one of his rare clear moments had signed off on a budget increase to $60M, up $2M from last season.

As if that was gonna buy the bats we needed…

In New York, they axed their manager and GM along with eight figures off their old $88M budget, which was welcome news over here.

Top 5: Knights ($84M), Crusaders ($78M), Pacifics ($75M), Buffaloes ($74M), Thunder ($72M)
Bottom 5: Falcons ($47M), Cyclones ($41.5M), Loggers ($38.5M), Aces ($38M), Wolves ($38M)

The Raccoons slipped to 13th, down two spots, in the team rankings for budget size. The missing CL North teams ranked 8th (BOS, $65M), 18th (IND, $48M), and 19th (VAN, $47.5M).

The average budget for an ABL team now was $58.75M, which was an increase of $850k from last season. The median budget was $60.5M, an increase of $3.5M over 12 months.

+++

The first spending of the winter was Ryan Sullivan quickly executing his option for 2062 after missing almost all of this season with injury, so that was $1.5M spent that I had no say over. But would he really be worse than Paul Barton and Mike Abrams…?

Besides him there were only two prospective free agents, backup catcher Tim Fuller (who had made $1.3M last year and at one point batted well enough to get equal playing time with Angel Perez) and righty Ruben Mendez. The latter was going to be 36 years old, but hadn’t shown signs of letting up yet. We would want him for less than the $1.7M he made this year. The thing with righty relief was that we somehow didn’t have a lot in the pipeline. We were drowning in left-handers, but right-handers were not in huge supply from AAA.

There were also nine players that were eligible for arbitration. [full list below again]

Three of the nine were position players, including the irreplaceable Joel Starr, who batted 89 points less than Forbes Tomlin in 2061, but also had a BABIP of *.234* going, whilst Tomlin’s was .370. I had the haunting feeling that the baseball gods were trying to trick me into a bust by switching allegiance to Tomlin, and that I instead should sign Starr to an 8-yr, $40M contract that would TOTALLY pay off over the length of it. For comparison, Joel Starr, with a normal BABIP working for him, was an easy .900 OPS batter.

Joey Christopher had his applications as leadoff man and was a potent rightfielder… but he had slumped for most of the last year and never really got on track. He was however somebody we’d keep around. The same couldn’t quite be said for David Gonzales, who was in the bottomless bin of meager middle infielders that infested both the extended roster and the Florida branch office. He had cost half a million in ’61 for ten games with the Raccoons. He was also 28. He was surplus to requirements.

There were six pitchers, which included a few no-brainers like Chance Fox and Justin Rocco, who were obviously going to be kept around.

And then there were headaches. Justin DeRose had finally washed out as a starting pitcher and couldn’t even pitch long relief at the end of the year. Reynaldo Bravo was flushed all the way to St. Petersburg, and there he still couldn’t get anybody out. Ricky Herrera had served very well for a few years now… but the second half had seen him getting whacked around quite a bit. And Mike Abrams had been a waiver claim, had posted better numbers than with the Aces, but he was also a 33-year-old pitcher with barely over three years of service time, so expectations were naturally limited.

So the bullpen was a piece of work, but the rotation for next year was already together. Bobby H., Foxie Brown, Nick Robinson, and Tyler Riddle – in whichever order they would get arrayed in April – were all solid … most of the time. Angel Alba had made great improvements last year and won the fifth starter’s spot. At least somebody cheap in that rotation that would otherwise make roughly $13M in 2062.

And then we’d have to see how many bats we could add with … (opens wallet and finds nothing but a cobweb in there) … well maybe we’d quite rigorously trim those arbitration cases…!

[Westheim]

(sits on the top edge of a big brown dumpster with the word HITTERS stenciled on its side and watches scout Steve Hansen rummaging around in the depths of it)

Found anything good yet? – Then let’s try the dumpster over there. It belongs to the Chocolate Cake Emporium around the corner.

The Raccoons needed to prep up the offense one way or another, and please don’t let it cost anything. We scored 709 runs last year, which was fifth in the CL, but c’mon, that’s not even 4.4 runs per game… In slash categories we had come 6th/9th/t-8th, which was somehow all strictly worse. Maybe those stolen bases (2nd) did something after all…

We could try to find us a power hitter, but somehow all power hitters turned into 12 dingers and that’s a season here now, or we could try and find some OBP, the mere thought of which made my stomach twist more than that creamy cake from the dumpster.

The following regulars had not gotten up to the .332 team OBP last season: Cas (.331), Nick Fox (.330), Fuller (.317), Fowler (.316), Lonzo (.310); the unhappy second-base platoon of Ortega (.328) and Bean (.287) was also in this category, as was Kozak (.284), who wasn’t a regular by any stretch of the imagination. Fuller was up for free agency, and Fox and Fowler were the newest variation of a whiff of getting production from third base, and it worked just as well as the last ten (86 OPS+ between them). And then there was Lonzo, who was about to enter his age 35 season and had never posted an OBP of any description, and it was bit like with your somewhat racist 90-year-old aunt – what are you gonna, change her *now*? Lonzo had beaten that .332 mark in a full season exactly once in his career – this ship had sailed, and he had a career leaderboard fish to fry. Leave him alone. (sad Cristiano Carmona noises)

Administratively, the Raccoons placed J.J. Sensabaugh on waivers as the offseason began because Nick Nye had to get back onto the 40-man roster. His flayed knee was increasingly looking like he would not return to service until next May or even June, so immediately I was waking up drenched in sweat every night and having flashing images of Jon Bean and Bernie Ortega before my eyes again.

The Raccoons tried to negotiate a 1-year deal with Ruben Mendez in late October, but he wanted dollares, and dollares muchos, for three years, por favor, and we were none to keen on having a 39-year-old reliever on the books going forwards, especially not with about $1.8M owed annually. No attempt was made to keep Fuller. Arellano was defensively capable and cheap if nothing else, and we’d rock with that, praying that no ill befell Angel Perez.

Late October saw a few 1-year extensions signed, first with Justin Rocco ($1M) and Joey Christopher ($530k), then Ricky Herrera ($820k). Chance Fox ($1.1M) and Mike Abrams ($500k) didn’t sign until November.

The bigger news was however an 8-year, $19.3M extension with Joel Starr that was announced on October 27 as the Raccoons went all-in on the guy that had just ached through a full season of hitting for a .234 BABIP somehow. This made Forbes Tomlin trade bait. Starr took the guaranteed money ($17M), with a team option in 2069 and higher-than-usual incentives for Player of the Year and All Star nominations. In total he could make up to $24M from the deal, which had four $3.3M seasons at the end, but was as cheap as $700k in 2062, where we needed every dime and penny, before steeply escalating. So, yeah, he hit just .228 this year and we’re putting down eight figures that it’ll buff out.

No agreement on a 1-year extension was reached with Justin DeRose, who’d go to arbitration with the Raccoons. Reynaldo Bravo and David Gonzales would be non-tendered.

+++

2061 ABL AWARDS

Players of the Year: DAL OF Tyler Wharton (.349, 28 HR, 114 RBI) and SFB LF Grant Anker (.305, 35 HR, 146 RBI)
Pitchers of the Year: DAL SP Alex Quevedo (15-6, 3.15 ERA) and BOS SP Jason Brenize (12-8, 2.66 ERA)
Rookies of the Year: RIC 1B Kris DiPrimio (.287, 25 HR, 91 RBI) and LVA Jaden Wilson (.290, 5 HR, 59 RBI)
Relievers of the Year: SFW CL Roberto Navarro (8-6, 2.92 ERA, 26 SV) and BOS CL Jason Posey (5-5, 2.53 ERA, 42 SV)
Platinum Sticks (FL): P LAP Ramon Carreno – C PIT Nick Dingman – 1B SFW Miguel Medina – 2B WAS Joo-chan Lee – 3B TOP Alex de los Santos – SS TOP Zach Suggs – LF NAS Tony Roman – CF DAL Tyler Wharton – RF SFW Josh Bursley
Platinum Sticks (CL): P CHA Esteban Duran – C BOS Jorge Arviso – 1B MIL Dave Robles – 2B SFB Armando Montoya – 3B LVA Alex Alfaro – SS IND Matt Kilday – LF SFB Grant Anker – CF NYC Tommy Branch – RF LVA Jake Evans
Gold Gloves (FL): P SAL Jon Mendosa – C PIT Nick Dingman – 1B DAL Gaudencio Callaia – 2B TOP Adam Peltier – 3B SAL Alberto Bonilla – SS SFW William McColgin – LF LAP Jesus Espinoza – CF DAL Tyler Wharton – RF LAP Jesus Martinez
Gold Gloves (CL): P BOS Jayden Craddock – C LVA Casey Burgio – 1B VAN Jose Campos – 2B VAN Rafael Roldan – 3B NYC John Webler – SS MIL Fidel Carrera – LF VAN Danny Garcia – CF TIJ Mario Asencio – RF LVA Jake Evans

Well, Raccoons won three Gold Gloves and a Platinum Stick. Ex-Raccoons, in the FL at that (Callaia, Peltier, Martinez, Carreno).

[Westheim]

Arbitration netted Justin DeRose $680k, the offer of the team, rather than the very meticulously calculated $802,785 he wanted. Actually, to be precise, I had offered $680k and a good strangling with my own paws, but that somehow didn’t make it into the document.

After that we were left with 31 players on the extended roster and a thoroughly underwhelming free agent class with only six type A free agents, and that somehow included Ben Lussier, who had yet again managed to ruin an entire team’s postseason almost on his own. How that guy was still getting contracts was very much beyond me.

But who needs free agents – we don’t have money anyway! With all the savings from non-tendering and lowballing Joel Starr for this year etc. factored in, we had about $4.5M of budget room available, which these days barely bought an All Star bat anyway. No, we’d have to find better personnel in a different way – with my wits! (Cristiano Carmona raises an eyebrow)

But where *do* you go about and tweak and turn this roster to make it better? On paper, all the positions were already filled with average or above-average personnel AND WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT LONZO NOW. (Cristiano closes snout) Well, except for third base, which the Raccoons hadn’t been able to fill confidently and/or competently for the better part of a decade now. Quick – who was the last Raccoons third baseman to make the most starts at the position for consecutive seasons? You’re never gonna guess it. Ed ******* Crispin, from 2050 to 2052. Since then it was nightmare after nightmare, peppered with some Anton Venegas in the mid-50s (but his two seasons of making the most lineup appearances at third base were interrupted by more … Ed Crispin). I’m not saying I want Matt Nunley back (3B fixture from 2014 through 2031 minus an injury-addled 2028 season). But I want Matt Nunley back.

There was currently hope in the minors in shape of 20-year-old Mexican 3B Victor Morales, who batted .261/.338/.398 for Ham Lake this year with at least ten of each extra-base hit. Raw power was perhaps not so much his thing in the end, but he looked like a doubles machine with a *very* fine glove at third base. Alas, he was at least two years away at this point and we had to put a warm body there somehow. This also made Morales, the #58 prospect, non-negotiable in trade discussions, the first of which I had in mid-November with some CL South teams for their versatile infielders. Not looking for a starter so much (except to cover perhaps two months of Nick Nye absence to begin ’62 to avoid more Bean/Ortega), but somebody that could spell the middle infielders and hold down third base as well. Omar Lira was one such option; the Thunder were drifting dead in the water, face down, and nothing was safe from getting traded away. Lira was a very good second baseman, but lacked a bit of arm to be a permanent (well, two years at least) solution at third base. As a lefty batter, it was a bit like copy-pasting Nick Fowler onto the roster once more. Another option in the same vein was Tijuana’s Bob Palmieri, a career backup that had hit .322 (with a .371 BABIP) in 66 games this past season. He wasn’t gonna hit that over two consecutive months; he was a better defensive option, especially at third base, was good at short, and could also fill in at most other positions, super-utility style. He also made the minimum at age 29.

Wait. Don’t we already have six 29-year-old middle infielders unable to hit their weight in pounds?

Ahead of the Rule 5 Draft, the Raccoons went ahead and protected 22-year-old AAA SP Daniel Benitez, whose future was probably more in the bullpen than the first inning, but a near-2 ERA in a (swingman) season got my attention anyway. Brad Loveless was lovelessly waived and DFA’ed in turn.

+++

November 20 – The Stars sign ex-POR MR Ruben Mendez (56-51, 3.40 ERA, 176 SV) to a 2-yr, $2.84M contract.
November 22 – The Scorpions sign former Buffaloes infielder Zach Suggs (.302, 298 HR, 1,223 RBI) to a 2-year contract that will pay $13.2M to the 35-year-old shortstop.
November 23 – Sacramento deals 2B/SS Nick Kelly (.275, 8 HR, 135 RBI) to the Blue Sox for LF/CF J.P. Sheridan (.249, 5 HR, 54 RBI).
November 24 – Three-time CL Player of the Year, ex-ATL 2B/SS Willie Acosta (.289, 94 HR, 603 RBI) signs a 2-yr, $15.2M deal with the Capitals.
November 24 – The Knights boldly add former Capitals CL Ben Lussier (63-70, 3.69 ERA, 352 SV) on a 3-yr, $10.36M contract.
November 27 – The Crusaders flip SP Jose Ortega (72-55, 3.63 ERA) to the Wolves for INF Tom Crist (.261, 11 HR, 180 RBI) and #132 prospect SP Justin Coban.
November 27 – Washington presents new addition, former Thunder C Burce Burkart (.247, 60 HR, 271 RBI), signed on a 5-year, $18.16M deal.
December 1 – Rule 5 Draft: 18 players are taken. The Raccoons are not affected.

+++

I spent the second half of November principally sneaking around the Scorpions and swinging a deal that was probably unexpected but not indefensible. The deal required the Stingers to be able to take on a chunky contract, which they persistently refused to do by putting offers for as much as $20M at a time out there. The Raccoons were not bidding on ANY free agents at that point. Since no deal ever materialized with the Scorpions, that part of the offseason was really just wasted.

Other former Furballs with new employment: the Loggers paid Tony Benitez $392k; the Thunder threw $1.02M over two years at Reynaldo Bravo;

[Westheim]

The Winter Meetings arrived and … we still couldn’t get anything done. The Raccoons had little to offer in trades except for a few obvious prospects. Chance Fox was also getting some attention from other teams, but the rotation was the ONE thing I had in place and wasn’t gonna tear it apart now…!

+++

December 2 – Vancouver deals MR David Figueroa (3-3, 3.23 ERA) to the Aces for #181 prospect MR Steve Slye.
December 2 – The Falcons trade 2B/SS Joe Hullander (.221, 29 HR, 185 RBI) and a prospect to the Miners for right-hander Ivan Rodriguez (4-3, 5.78 ERA).
December 2 – Further, the Falcons send C Braden McCarver (.252, 17 HR, 91 RBI) to the Buffaloes for a prospect.
December 3 – The Wolves sign up former Pacifics SP Keith Thompson (54-58, 4.46 ERA) on a 3-yr, $10.92M contract.
December 3 – The Bayhawks acquire C Kyle Mathews (.247, 21 HR, 147 RBI) from the Aces in exchange for SP Bill Grau (35-32, 3.93 ERA) and $850k in cash.
December 4 – The Thunder deal SP Mike Hall (34-36, 4.26 ERA) and $550k to the Blue Sox, getting two prospects in return.
December 5 – LF/RF/1B Cesar Santiago (.276, 44 HR, 234 RBI) and $500k in cash go from the Thunder to the Warriors in exchange for INF Jorge Caballero (.263, 4 HR, 59 RBI) and a prospect.
December 13 – The Thunder secure the return of 2B/SS Ryan Spehar (.262, 43 HR, 382 RBI). The 32-year-old former Crusader signs a 2-year, $4.08M deal.
December 14 – Ex-Indians SP Zach Stewart (80-90, 3.93 ERA) gets a 2-year, $11.2M deal from the Buffaloes.
December 19 – The Knights have themselves the second-place active career base stealer, ex-PIT 2B/3B Alex Vasquez (.294, 37 HR, 709 RBI) on a 3-yr, $9.16M deal for the 36-year-old.

+++

I wish there was ANYTHING to report. I wish we had taken somebody in the Rule 5 draft to be even remotely able to claim that we were doing things. But the ugly truth was that all our surpluses (first basemen, lefty relief, god-awful middle infielders) were not exactly sought after, and even the one or two big earners I was dangling were not exactly evoking excitement up and down the league.

Apart from that, Juan del Toro signed an $850k deal with the Rebels;

And, well, there was a Hall of Fame ballot out there, and there’s all of 37 games played by Critters on it.

[Westheim]

I'm a bit of driftwood, huh?

Here's that ballot then.

[Westheim]

The year ended without the Raccoons managing to open a roster spot with a trade. At this point everybody and their mother, and especially the Agitator knew that we had been trying to shift Noah Caswell and the last two years of his contract. Caswell had delivered two strong seasons, and now two injury-addled seasons, roughly hitting league average whenever he had his two legs under him.

Moving Caswell out and rotating the outfield back to Brass in left, Morris in center, and Christopher in right would be an immediate defensive boost, and we would probably hit more in the long run with Christopher being able to slot into the leadoff spot whenever Morris was slumping, or when Lonzo needed a day off could bat second without disheveling everything else in the lineup as well.

Nobody wanted Caswell, however, and it looked a lot like he would hang around for two more seasons. By the time the new year came around, the Raccoons tried for some relief pitching scraps on the market.

Maud, I think we should start stockpiling on fudge and Capt’n Coma for the new season. Put it on the shopping list, please.

+++

December 20 – The Miners grab ex-CIN SP Cameron Parks (72-98, 4.32 ERA) on a whopping 6-year, $43.7M contract.
December 24 – After a year in Atlanta, 35-year-old SP Troy Ratliff (104-125, 4.11 ERA) returns to the Capitals on a 2-year, $4.88M contract.
December 25 – Sacramento adds former Warriors RF/LF/1B Josh Bursley (.269, 65 HR, 379 RBI) for $38.4M over six years.
December 27 – The Pacifics sign ex-NYC SP Milt Cantrell (153-116, 3.43 ERA) to a 2-yr, $7.2M deal.
December 27 – Former Buffaloes and Titans reliever Kyle Zanni (26-18, 3.74 ERA, 80 SV) gets a 3-yr, $9.48M deal from the Scorpions.
December 31 – The Bayhawks acquire the former Knights closer Steve Watson (43-57, 3.90 ERA, 211 SV) on a deal worth $8.4M over three years.
January 3 – The Crusaders trade outfielder Kelly Konecny (.295, 8 HR, 175 RBI) to the Capitals for C Pedro Almaguer (.252, 77 HR, 424 RBI) and a prospect.

+++

2062 HALL OF FAME VOTING RESULTS

Career Gold Sox pitcher Garry Perrone became the only inductee into the Hall of Fame in 2062 by being elected off the first ballot with 90.8% of all votes. Perrone pitched in the majors for 13 years, but the four years at the end were marred my injuries and more injuries, and eventually ineffectiveness. His final strong season was at age 31 in 2052, and he was really elected on his eight complete seasons, but boy, was it an insane peak. In those eight years, he won FL Player of the Year honors six times, led the FL in wins five times, in ERA three times, and in WHIP also three times. He led in strikeouts only once, and didn’t win the triple crown, but pitched the Sox to four straight World Series trophies. For good measure, he won two Platinum Sticks. In 359 career games (301 starts), he went 180-59 with 2.69 ERA and 1,723 strikeouts in 2,169 innings.

Full results:
DEN SP Gary Perrone – 1st – 90.8 – INDUCTED
DEN 3B Ronnie Thompson – 1st – 73.1
OCT SS Ryan Cox – 1st – 25.8
??? SP Matt Sealock – 2nd – 17.7
CIN 3B Jesus Burgos – 1st – 14.5
??? C Julio Diaz – 1st – 11.7
??? RF Juan Benavides – 3rd – 11.7
PIT SP Roberto Pruneda – 9th – 8.5
??? SP Mike LeMasters – 2nd – 7.8
NYC SP Jeff Johnson – 1st – 7.4
CHA CL Josh Livingston – 4th – 6.7
SAL SP Orlando Leos – 1st – 6.4
NYC C Fernando Alba – 3rd – 6.4
??? 2B Mario Briones – 3rd – 6.4
ATL SP Brian Buttress – 3rd – 5.7
BOS SP Rich Willett – 10th – 4.9 – DROPPED
??? CF Dave Lee – 1st – 2.1 – DROPPED
??? LF Billy Hester – 1st – 2.1 – DROPPED
CHA 2B Miguel Martinez – 1st – 0.0 – DROPPED
RIC CF Gil Cabrera – 1st – 0.0 – DROPPED

[Westheim]

January 9 – The Raccoons sign former Wolves MR James Murdock (45-53, 3.72 ERA, 120 SV) to a $900k contract for 2062.
January 16 – San Francisco acquires SP Jon Mendosa (9-11, 3.85 ERA) from the Wolves for a prospect. The 29-year-old Mendosa was a rookie in 2061.

+++

Heyyy, the Raccoons did a thing! And with the new season still almost three months away, they signed a … pretty run-of-the-mill reliever. Murdock was with the Loggers in 2060, where he never gained much attention, but twice was an All Star and in 2056 even led the FL in saves with the Wolves, in his first of two stints with them.

Now with that out of the way, it was time to go stupid.

+++

January 18 – In a major trade, the Raccoons ship CF Noah Caswell (.288, 86 HR, 546 RBI), MR Elijah LaBat (6-6, 3.04 ERA, 2 SV), AAA 1B Joe Agee (.205, 2 HR, 7 RBI), and #96 prospect SP Juan Arauz to the Gold Sox for 2B/SS Jim White (.266, 77 HR, 593 RBI) and SP/MR Adam Middleton (131-111, 3.98 ERA, 38 SV).
January 20 – The Coons add former Blue Sox LF/CF Malik Crumble (.265, 36 HR, 159 RBI) on a $600k contract.
January 22 – The Stars get SP Jorge Quinones (37-56, 4.29 ERA), who went a staggering 4-15 in ’61, from the Cyclones for 2B/SS Trevor Niemiec (.226, 54 HR, 236 RBI).
January 27 – The Knights sign former Wolves SP Anton Jesus (116-132, 4.42 ERA) for two years and $5.52M.
January 28 – Tijuana inks ex-NAS SP Kodai Koga (189-184, 3.78 ERA), giving the 38-year-old right-hander a 2-year, $12.4M contract.
January 29 – 29-year old former Aces ace Scott Evans (64-77, 4.44 ERA) gets a 3-yr, $9.04M deal with the Pacifics.
January 30 – The Raccoons flip 2B/LF Bernie Ortega (.262, 2 HR, 27 RBI) to the Pacifics for OF Carlos Mata (.247, 19 HR, 127 RBI).

+++

The Agitator called it a stupid trade, which was probably true, because it didn’t even free up any salary space since we had to eat almost $5M owed to Middleton, who was no longer an effective starter, had been used as closer by the Falcons in 2060, and was probably not going to do much more than put Justin DeRose on waivers to pitch garbage innings at an eye-watering per-inning rate. Jim White was the longtime Aces second-sacker and would start at the position until Nick Nye returned in May or June, and then could give Lonzo regular off time.

Did we really just blow another $736k (the additional salary taken on) just to get half a whisker of D in the outfield? Maybe it was a stupid trade after all.

Meanwhile, Malik Crumble had put up two strong half-seasons with the Blue Sox in 2056 and 2057, then cratered quite badly in his age 26 season and in the last three years had started only 20 games in the majors. He didn’t have options, in more than one meaning of the word, and it was likely that we’d try to sneak him through waivers in April for some depth in AAA, although when that signing was made the Raccoons only had five outfielders on the extended roster and the pre-season was approaching fast. Besides Brass, Morris, and Joe-Chris, the new starting outfield, and in that order from left to right, only Felix Ayala was on the roster, but he was also a right-handed batter. And that was before we made that nothing trade with the Pacifics for Carlos Mata, who came over for Bernie Ortega, one of the numerous substantially useless middle infielders clogging the 40-man and/or AAA rosters.

When I asked Steve from Accounting how much dosh we could still spend, he snickered, but I take we can squeeze in another contract for $1M or less…

There was still room for another right-handed arm in the pen even with the Murdock and Middleton additions. With Walters, Rocco, and Ricky H. from the left, and Sullivan and DeRose from the right there was probably still room for improvement. Never mind that another four relievers were still hanging around the extended roster: Adam Harris from the left, and Abrams, Barton, and Erickson from the right.

Other Critters with new dens: Chris Gowin joined San Fran for $720k; the Knights picked up Juan Ojeda for $590k; the Blue Sox signed Juan Mercado for $740k; the Rebs added Antonio Alfaro for $1.42M;

[Westheim]

An era ended in Portland on March 4, 2062, when Nick Valdes’ office released a statement that the Portland Raccoons owner for 34 years and the majority of their eight World Series championships had died peacefully in his sleep on the previous Saturday, shedding his earthly shackles to fly to heaven and henceforth reside in the pantheon of gods after reaching the age of 79.

It literally said all of that, but I wasn’t fooled. First, if there was any god at all, Nick Valdes would certainly rot in pandemonium for several millenia, and then he had been well over 80 years old, although pretending to be “79 plus” sounded like something Nick Valdes would do.

Ownership of the Raccoons passed to Adam Valdes, age 59, variously described as Nick Valdes’ son, advisor, secretary, or even “confidante”. Inside the offices at Raccoons Ballpark we knew a tad more than the world outside, and among the facts on the table was that Adam Valdes was not a biological son of Nick, but had been adopted at some point in the 2040s and had held the keys to the kingdom for the last few years of Nick Valdes’ protracted absence and illness.

“Business insiders” described him as a lenient economizer, with the latter part certainly running in the family, related by blood or not. Maud had a few additional adjectives, since she had been on the phone with him a number of times, and those ranged from “detached weirdo” to “lecherous vampire”. Again, family ties!

Adam Valdes had visited Raccoons Ballpark in Nick’s entourage a number of times in preceding years, but had always held in the background. He phoned in a few days after the funeral, to which no Raccoons personnel was invited, and explained that he needed time to sort out all the businesses he had inherited, and that he would pay the Raccoons an official visit early in the new season, and how the protocol for that would look like. – Yes, Maud, it sounds like the Queen of England is going to descend on us… Only wavey-wavey, no touchy!

We coped as best as we could; a press release went out a couple of weeks before the season that the Raccoons would wear a black diamond patch with the letters NV for the 2062 season, and, y’know, going through the motions.

That the Raccoons’ offseason ended as quickly as it (finally) began was not related to the change in ownership; if there would have been another trade, it would have been at the fringes of the roster, with brief talks with other teams about what we could get for, say, Jack Kozak or something like that. In March we only signed a pair of garbage pile prospects that had been released by other teams.

+++

February 9 – The Capitals sign former division rival, ex-Buffaloes SP David Concha (131-115, 3.81 ERA) to a 2-yr, $10.4M contract.
February 14 – 39-year-old ex-Crusaders SP Austin Wilcox (199-180, 3.92 ERA) inks a 2-yr, $13.2M deal with the Stars.
March 6 – The Titans trade INF/LF/RF Jacob Bratlien (.274, 30 HR, 320 RBI) and almost $1M in cash to the Rebels for MR Luis Lerma (8-7, 4.25 ERA, 4 SV) and a prospect.
April 1 – Two days from Opening Day, the Buffaloes trade LF Dan Martin (.288, 229 HR, 936 RBI) to the Scorpions for two prospects, including #101 CL Bryan Abbey.

+++

On the bright side, Adam Valdes released control of the scouting budget, which had been set by Nick Valdes for the last couple of decades, and had driven many a scout to madness with how tight it had been. On the other paw, we had already tossed out all our dosh for the new season and couldn’t make a big adjustment anymore at this point.

Old furry friends finding new bags of kibble to stick their fuzzy heads into: the Cyclones signed Harry Ramsay for $540k; Tim Fuller got $1.12M from the Miners; Raffy de la Cruz fleeced the Wolves for $520k; the Rebs gave $620k to Brett Lillis jr.; the Knights signed Oscar Caballero for $820k; the Rebels took a liking worth $630k to Gaudencio Callaia, and then gave another $1.08M to Mike Lane;

[Westheim]

2062 PORTLAND RACCOONS – Opening Day Roster (first set in parenthesis shows 2061 stats, second set career stats; players with an * are off season acquisitions;

SP Tyler Riddle, 30, B:L, T:L (13-5, 2.87 ERA | 79-51, 2.96 ERA, 2 SV) – the Raccoons have gotten a pretty good return for their 5-year deal with Riddle so far, who came on after missing half of ’58 and all of ’59, and it looked bad enough for him at times that he could not get more than a 1-year contract, either. He missed two months after leaving his Opening Day assignment with an injury, but on his return put a very strong 22 starts together and would get another shot at the honor this year.
SP Bobby Herrera, 31, B:R, T:R (14-8, 3.19 ERA | 52-43, 3.25 ERA) – You know what you get from Tipsy Bobby at this point: 12 to 14 wins, low-3 ERA; actually led the CL in fewest BB/9 (1.8) last year. Like clockwork with the 96mph fastball, slider, and changeup.
SP Nick Robinson, 33, B:L, T:L (16-8, 2.93 ERA | 125-84, 3.28 ERA) – truly elite pitcher brought onto the roster in a trade with the Gold Sox the previous winter. Vicious curveball and very impressive stats, and he hasn’t missed a start in nine years while winning an ERA title in the FL in ’58.
SP Chance Fox, 27, B:L, T:L (11-9, 3.04 ERA | 45-33, 3.81 ERA) – former #3 pick and groundballer with iffy control, Fox was promoted from St. Pete in the middle of the 2058 season and got roughed up regularly, but pitched a few nice games as well. Also throws 96 with a nice slider and changeup. Led the team in W’s in 2059 and matched that win total in 2060, and actually made some improvements in BB/9 and K/9 over the last two years, getting the walks down to 2.2/9 last year.
SP Angel Alba, 25, B:R, T:R (5-4, 4.53 ERA | 7-6, 4.74 ERA) – scouting discovery out of Venezuela that was hit around pretty good in cups of coffee in 2060 and early 2061, but appeared to figure himself out in AAA in the summer and then pitched respectably down the stretch, or at least well enough to secure the fifth starter’s spot on a team with no money and with little other options.

SP/MU Justin DeRose, 28, B:S, T:R (10-13, 4.61 ERA | 33-43, 4.24 ERA) – after holding on to a rotation spot for two years and change because the Raccoons didn’t really have many options and/or had plenty of injuries, DeRose came unglued once more in the second half in ’61 and was demoted to the bullpen, and if we could have found an animal shelter that would have taken him, he’d now sit in a cage, banging a food bowl against the metal bars.
SP/MU Adam Middleton *, 38, B:R, T:R (4-4, 3.47 ERA | 131-111, 3.98 ERA, 38 SV) – arrived in the very odd Caswell deal with the Gold Sox and offers us the unique opportunity to have a seventh starting pitcher on the roster, some of whom were highly suspect. Middleton was long past his hey-days and had drifted in and out of rotations for all his career, with just over half of his 619 career games coming in relief.
MR James Murdock *, 32, B:R, T:R (6-7, 4.02 ERA, 17 SV | 45-53, 3.72 ERA, 120 SV) – once-CL saves champion and otherwise a bit unremarkable, Murdock for $900k was the most expensive free agent acquisition in the Raccoons’ largely abortive offseason. Fastball/curveball right-hander, and this system is full of those.
MR Ricky Herrera, 30, B:L, T:L (1-2, 3.43 ERA, 5 SV | 25-12, 2.94 ERA, 7 SV) – former second-rounder with a fastball/slider combo that was Portland’s most notorious wins thief with 19 victories claimed between 2059 and 2060. Very sturdy on the hill, although his walks issued have seen some up and down over the years, and he seemed to lose effectiveness in the second half, which, yes, is a common theme here.
SU Ryan Sullivan, 32, B:L, T:R (0-0, 3.86 ERA | 52-51, 3.07 ERA, 143 SV) – two stints as a Crusaders closer, two years in L.A., and now a 3-year deal with the Raccoons as free agent; also a devious curveball in addition to the 94mph fastball, all of which was on the DL for most of 2061 due to a torn rotator cuff that held him to six games in the regular season and three more in the rough CLCS.
SU Justin Rocco, 31, B:S, T:L (6-3, 2.36 ERA, 19 SV | 16-8, 4.03 ERA, 22 SV) – acquired from the Aces in July, Rocco tries to fool people with the cutter, which often works… but not always. Exceptional control for a left-hander.
CL Matt Walters, 31, B:L, T:L (3-3, 3.07 ERA, 38 SV | 15-17, 1.94 ERA, 252 SV) – three Reliever of the Year titles, three times leading the CL in saves, also setting a new franchise mark for saves in a single season in 2060, erasing Angel Casas’ ancient mark of 54. Deceptive 94mph fastball, wipeout curveball that is guaranteed to corkscrew through swinging batters. Good boy. Loves snacks. Scout has some yellow and red notes in his files about him looking like he’s losing it, which I will entirely ignore, because I can’t cope.

C Angel Perez, 26, B:R, T:R (.292, 7 HR, 47 RBI | .286, 23 HR, 150 RBI) – acquired with Jack Kozak from the Pacifics for mostly Jesus Martinez in July of 2059, Perez immediately made a bit of a splash, not necessarily in the power department, but with good work behind the plate and a steady supply of base hits and keeping the line moving. Did his first full season in ’60 and hit just above league average with a 102 OPS+, although we had hoped for a tad more. Offered a 114 OPS+ last year. Runs like a catcher in any case, so even when he rakes he will probably continue to bat behind all the other big bats that actually have legs.
C Marcos Arellano, 25, B:R, T:R (.421, 1 HR, 6 RBI | .333, 1 HR, 6 RBI) – the young Panamanian accompanied Nick Robinson over from Denver last winter, and outlasted Tim Fuller’s year as backup to Angel Perez to slide into that position when the Raccoons couldn’t upgrade due to a lack of funds; hit .421, but it was really just 8-for-19, in 10 games late last season.

1B Joel Starr, 29, B:L, T:L (.228, 15 HR, 73 RBI | .281, 63 HR, 266 RBI) – while he’s already a bit older than prime prospect porn, he still won a Platinum Stick in his first full season in the majors at age 26 and became the Raccoons’ best hitter for good in 2060, when he not only put up a .901 OPS, but also played all but one game in a season where almost everybody else at one point or another hit the DL. Contrast that with the .234 BABIP for a full season in 2061 and the accompanying terrible stats. When the baseball gods aren’t cross with him in particular, he’s a good steady bat with power, normal defense at first base, and while he’s not Lonzo by any stretch of the imagination, he can time the pitcher up and sneak a few stolen bases.
2B/SS/RF Jim White *, 33, B:R, T:R (.228, 12 HR, 60 RBI | .266, 77 HR, 593 RBI) – acquired from the Gold Sox and will be the second base starter until Nick Nye’s return and then turn into a luxury bench bat, but he’s actually signed for two more seasons. Defensively he is still a premium option at second base, but he has never won a Gold Glove in his career, which was mostly spent with the Aces.
SS Lorenzo Lavorano, 34, B:R, T:R (.274, 4 HR, 50 RBI | .279, 42 HR, 609 RBI) – Everybody loves Lonzo! If you don’t love Lonzo, you can’t be my friend…! Has won seven stolen base titles in his first eight full (as in: not-injured) seasons, a Gold Glove once… and he keeps being a delight in the field and on the career steals list, where he currently sits sixth with 674 career thefts in 940 attempts – keep running, boy! This year, the all-time career record was in reach, with 47 more stolen bases needed to catch up with Pablo Sanchez, coincidentally the same tally he posted in 141 games last season.
3B/1B/2B/SS/RF Nick Fox, 32, B:S, T:R (.252, 0 HR, 34 RBI | .275, 27 HR, 323 RBI) – didn’t make a fool of himself, but also didn’t exactly knock the cover off the baseballs in the first of two seasons he signed for last winter; let’s just say the quest to fill third base with more than soup of the day continues.
SS/3B/2B Nick Fowler, 31, B:L, T:R (.255, 5 HR, 50 RBI | .278, 32 HR, 286 RBI) – played competently wherever he was stuck in the field last season, while with the stick he posted his worst-ever OPS at .673, which is a thing that often happens to players with the Raccoons…
2B/SS/LF/3B/RF Jon Bean, 27, B:L, T:R (.243, 0 HR, 21 RBI | .249, 1 HR, 51 RBI) – part of the Raccoons’ ever-tingling carrousel of unimpressive quad-A middle infield talent, Jon Bean won the final spot on the roster mostly because Nick Nye was injured and he’d make a better-than-nothing option to give both starting middle infielders a breather.

LF/RF/1B Trent Brassfield, 29, B:R, T:R (.286, 12 HR, 75 RBI | .280, 82 HR, 426 RBI) – sketchy defender that made a name with his stick as a 21-year-old before flaying a shoulder, and he’s chased that 151 OPS+ in 48 games ever since without getting remotely close. Still a tough out and a valuable right-handed bat, playing all but one game last year and posting a 121 OPS+.
CF/LF/RF Ben Morris, 24, B:L, T:L (.247, 12 HR, 48 RBI | .256, 15 HR, 80 RBI) – weird player, who just when we thought he’d fit in the leadoff spot started to hit home runs, but still managed to come out on top against Lonzo in stolen bases in ’61, stealing 51 bases to Lonzo’s 47.
RF/LF/CF/1B Joey Christopher, 26, B:L, T:L (.220, 5 HR, 23 RBI | .238, 12 HR, 80 RBI) – yes, that’s our starting rightfielder (again), stop snickering (again). Joe-Chris has a .373 BABIP in the majors in three partial seasons and a full one, he has a murder arm in rightfield, and he … I don’t know, somehow trading Noah Caswell sounded like a smarter idea before all the other boys started to line up; had a horrendous 2061 season anyway, spending much of it on the bench while struggling with both OBP and base stealing.
LF/RF/CF/SS Felix Ayala, 24, B:R, T:R (.241, 3 HR, 25 RBI | .232, 3 HR, 25 RBI) – got just under 200 at-bats last season all over the outfield but was not really batting with much inspiration and was caught stealing more often than he succeeded.
CF/RF/LF Carlos Mata *, 32, B:R, T:R (.263, 2 HR, 22 RBI | .247, 19 HR, 127 RBI) – another casual defender that was acquire from the Pacifics for equally uninspiring Bernie Ortega in January. Only once played a full season’s worth of games with the 2055 Capitals.

On disabled list:
2B/SS/3B Nick Nye, 31, B:R, T:R (.303, 12 HR, 50 RBI | .312, 162 HR, 721 RBI) – THE Addition of the previous offseason! Nick Nye was a former FL Player of the Year and had won a sack full of titles and awards with the Blue Sox in the last few years, including bagging the FL homer crown in 2059. So of course in Portland he shed 42 points of batting average and cut his homer total in half. Portland things, I guess. Proceeded then to shed a knee ligament or two in August ’61, which is still not healed out. He is expected to start rehab in late April, and will likely get the full 20-day regimen with the Alley Cats.

Otherwise unavailable: Nobody.

Other roster movement:
MR Mike Abrams, 33, B:R, T:R (2-2, 4.18 ERA, 1 SV | 4-4, 4.11 ERA, 2 SV) – waived and DFA’ed; fastball/curveball right-hander that was a waiver claim from the Aces last June, feigned competence for a month or so, and then got increasingly lit up…
MR Paul Barton, 26, B:R, T:R (2-2, 4.74 ERA | 2-2, 4.74 ERA) – optioned to AAA; another fastball/curveball right-hander that was signed as depth before last season and was pretty soon called up to the majors for a 56-game rookie season that yielded thoroughly mixed results and feelings, but 4.4 BB/9 was never a great jump-off point for a right-hander.
MR Bryan Erickson, 27, B:R, T:R (1-0, 7.30 ERA, 1 SV | 3-1, 5.40 ERA, 1 SV) – optioned to AAA; former eighth-rounder and basic flyball pitcher with a curveball that was mostly employed in garbage relief, but also lacked the length to do that on a regular basis and for multiple innings, so he couldn’t even stink up to Justin DeRose for a job at the shallow end of the pen.
MR Adam Harris, 27, B:R, T:L (0-0, 10.00 ERA | 1-0, 4.68 ERA) – waived and DFA’ed; just when we thought he had sorted out the control issues, he made ten big league appearance only to get murdered for a .581 BABIP.
1B Forbes Tomlin, 26, B:R, T:R (.317, 4 HR, 26 RBI | .301, 4 HR, 26 RBI) – waived and DFA’ed; superficially smashed up left-handed pitchers, but then you look at the .370 BABIP and realize it’s all for nothing and Joel Starr was not going to be replaced by him after all.
LF/1B/CF Jack Kozak, 27, B:R, T:R (.194, 3 HR, 10 RBI | .227, 13 HR, 55 RBI) – waived and DFA’ed; at this point the discussion is mainly about which has the bigger holes, his swing or his glove.
LF/CF Malik Crumble *, 29, B:L, T:L (.250, 1 HR, 2 RBI | .265, 36 HR, 159 RBI) – waived and DFA’ed; non-tendered by the Blue Sox, Crumble is a casual defender who had a strong 106 games in ’57 and not a whole lot since.

Everybody not mentioned by now has already been waived, reassigned, or promoted away to run a branch office in Rancho Cucamonga during the winter.

OPENING DAY LINEUP:

Vs. RHP: CF Morris – SS Lavorano (Bean) – 1B Starr – LF Brassfield – C Perez – RF Christopher – 2B White – 3B Fowler – P
(Vs. LHP: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – LF (1B) Brassfield – 1B Starr (OF Ayala) – C Perez – 2B White – 3B N. Fox – LF Ayala (Mata) – P)

No major surprises there except that Brassfield might actually see first base service again to give Starr days off since we no longer have another half-dozen first baseman lingering around the roster.

OFF SEASON CHANGES:

Weird offseason. The Raccoons came 11th with a -0.8 WAR offseason according to BNN, adding just five players, and all of those in January after months of ho-humming. The two trades with Denver and L.A. were pretty neutral WAR-wise, but Jim White added 1.6 WAR. In turn, Tim Fuller and Ruben Mendez each cost just over 1 WAR after leaving in free agency.

Top 5: Scorpions (+9.1), Wolves (+7.3), Knights (+7.1), Capitals (+6.5), Stars (+4.9)
Bottom 5: Falcons (-4.4), Thunder (-4.7), Buffaloes (-5.4), Miners (-5.7), Crusaders (-12.6)

The rest of the CL North ranked 13th (VAN, -1.7), 15th (BOS, -2.2), 16th (IND, -2.4), and 17th (MIL, -2.5). So NOBODY in the division gained anything this winter…!

PREDICTION TIME:

I expected the Crusaders to run away with it and to win 100+ games again last season, but at least got the Raccoons nearly right, who won 94 games and ran away with the division when I guessed 92 games.

The rotation is solid (unless Alba forgets how to pitch again), and the bullpen is bizarre to say the least. We did not really add any punch for the lineup this offseason. I don’t see how it’s getting *better*, but with how little the rest of the division was able to improve we can maybe hope for 88 wins and a division title.

And then get exploded by the Baybirds in the CLCS again.

PLAYER DEVELOPMENT:

Last year the Raccoons ranked sixth in the farm table with ten ranked prospects, six of them in the top 100. Not much remained of that.

In the new rankings, the Raccoons crashed and burned to 20th place among the 24 teams, which had something to do with how their former top 100 prospects fared. #24 Angel Alba exceeded rookie limits and disappeared this way, and #96 Juan Arauz and #199 Joe Agee (who would not have ranked due to old age anymore anyway) were traded to the Gold Sox in the Caswell trade. And while former #5 Jose Corral was carpetbombed all the way out of the top 100, #62 Jon Herbert tumbled out of the rankings entirely, as did #133 Andy Marullo.

38th (+49) – AA LF/RF Roberto Soto, 21 – 2058 scouting discovery by Raccoons
75th (-17) – AA INF/RF/LF Victor Morales, 20 – 2059 international free agent signed by Raccoons
116th (-111) – AAA RF/LF Jose Corral, 21 – 2057 international free agent signed by Raccoons
120th (-10) – AAA MR Rich Read, 24 – 2057 supplemental round pick by Raccoons, taken in 2060 Rule 5 draft by Buffaloes but returned
132nd (+28) – AA LF/RF/1B John Bentley, 22 – 2060 first-round pick by Raccoons
142nd (new) – A C Jake Flowe, 19 – 2061 first-round pick by Raccoons
184th (new) – AA 1B Alex Vargas, 21 – 2058 second-round pick by Raccoons

Finally, the top 10 overall prospects this year are:

1st (new) – MIL AA 1B/LF/RF Cesar Ramirez, 21
2nd (new) – PIT ML SP Mark Fitzthum, 22
3rd (new) – CIN AA CL John Faughnan, 21
4th (-3) – IND AA SP Gabriel Rios, 20
5th (new) – SAL A SP B.J. Butrico, 19

6th (+58) – IND A 1B Alex Mendez, 20
7th (new) – VAN AA OF Rick Atkins, 21
8th (new) – OCT A OF John Barrett, 18
9th (new) – DAL A OF/1B Travis Dockweiler, 19
10th (+10) – BOS AA SP Bryce Wallace, 22

Cesar Ramirez had been a scouting discovery from Venezuela in 2058, but had not registered on the prospect tracker until this year. Fitzthum had been the #1 pick in the 2061 draft and after 17 starts in the minors made the Miners’ Opening Day roster. Faughnan was picked #13 by the Cyclones in the draft, tore his elbow within a month of making his pro debut, and still somehow made it to #3 in the rankings. In between Fitzthum and Faughnan the Elks had taken Rick Atkins with the #2 pick in the most recent draft. Barrett was the #8 pick by the Thunder, and Dockweiler was selected #10 by the Stars.

With only last year’s #1 prospect returned to the top 10 list, there was almost a full set of fates to examine.

More or less successful transitions to the major leagues were made by the #2 prospect Manny Gutierrez, who closed out 36 games for the Falcons in his rookie season, but was also swatted around for a 5.28 ERA. The #4 prospect, Alex Rodriguez, made it into 48 games for the Buffaloes, hitting .317 with 1 HR, 15 RBI. Vancouver got a 10-9, 3.09 ERA season in 28 starts out of the former #6 prospect Ken Nielsen.

The #7 prospect, versatile Dallas Baker, made only nine appearances for the Cyclones, batting .300, but retained his rookie status and made the Opening Day roster, but had plummeted to #86 in the rankings.

Just outside the top 10 were Rebels SP Marc Timmons (#9 to #19), and Boston CL Gil Huerta (#10 to #21). On the other paw, Thunder prospect 1B Andres Valencia plunged from #8 to #98, and that was nothing compared to the Cyclones’ C Ryan Marty, who went from the #3 prospect all the way out of the top 200 and as deep as 16th in the Cyclones own system (which was one of the top-ranked farms).

Next: first pitch.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (0-0) @ Loggers (0-0) – April 4-6, 2062

The new season started in Milwaukee for the Raccoons, who had been through aches and pains to squeeze as much as a 10-8 season series win from the Loggers last year. The green team didn’t look much improved this time around either, but the same was true for the brown team…

Projected matchups:
Tyler Riddle (0-0) vs. Bob Ruggiero (0-0)
Bobby Herrera (0-0) vs. Oliver Graham (0-0)
Nick Robinson (0-0) vs. Jesus Hinojosa (0-0)

All the Loggers’ starters were right-handers.

Game 1
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – LF Brassfield – C Perez – RF Christopher – 2B White – 3B Fowler – P Riddle
MIL: CF Franks – RF Milian – 1B D. Robles – SS F. Carrera – 3B D. Miller – 2B Lange – LF Whetstine – C Jack – P Ruggiero

Same old, same old, the Loggers took a 2-0 lead in the first inning, smacking Riddle around quite good, as David Milian tripled into the gap, Dave Robles doubled into the other gap, and Danny Miller got in that second run with a well-placed 2-out single. Ralph Lange drew a walk for good measure before Chad Whetstine grounded out to Jim White. It didn’t get any better in the next inning; J.P. Jack reached base when Riddle bobbled his grounder, but was then doubled off on a terrible bunt by Ruggiero. Not that it stopped the offense; Scott Franks slapped a single, and David Milian smashed a ball over the centerfield fence to have all the hard parts of the cycle done after just two innings of 4-0 ball…

It only got bleaker from here; Joel Starr took a Ruggiero fastball to the knee in the fourth inning and limped off the field. Brassfield moved in from leftfield, and Carlos Mata made his Raccoons debut as replacement, but before he could make it out to leftfield he was involved in an inning-ending 6-4-3 double play by Angel Perez. The same inning, the Loggers finished their dirty business with Riddle, who walked Whetstine to begin the inning, gave up a double to Jack, and those runners then scored on Ruggiero’s groundout and Franks’ single, respectively. The next Coons debut was James Murdock, thus, who gave up a single to Milian – who now only had the double to go – a sac fly, and a wild pitch, before finally getting out of the ******* inning.

The Raccoons moved on to Justin DeRose for garbage relief, and garbage he was, getting effortlessly bombed for another five runs in just two innings, although Milian only hit another RBI single and didn’t get the double he was looking for, and when he was up again in the seventh inning against the other garbage reliever, luxuriously paid Adam Middleton, he grounded out to short altogether. The Raccoons, drowning by a dozen, finally got on the board in the eighth inning when Lonzo drew a walk (!) and Carlos Mata doubled to left against the tiring Ruggiero. Angel Perez put both of them across with a 2-out single. The Loggers answered with an unearned eighth-inning run against Middleton, with Nick Fowler guilty of making an error, the Raccoons’ third of the day. 13-2 Loggers. Lavorano 2-3, BB; Mata 1-1, BB, 2B; Christopher 2-3, BB; Middleton 2.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 0 K;

That could be a long season…

Joel Starr was right off to the DL with a knee contusion, but maybe two weeks would be enough to get him straightened out again. The Raccoons went back and assigned Forbes Tomlin back to the major league roster although he was technically still on waivers on Wednesday, the day of the second game of the series.

Game 2
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – C Perez – 1B Tomlin – RF Christopher – 2B White – 3B Fowler – P B. Herrera
MIL: CF Franks – RF Milian – SS F. Carrera – 1B D. Robles – C Waker – LF Whetstine – 2B Wall – 3B D. Miller – P O. Graham

The Coons had a 2-spot in the first inning this time, as Lonzo singled his way on base, stole second, and was then tripled home by Brassfield. Angel Perez added an RBI single, after which Tomlin and Christopher made meek outs, and then Tipsy Bobby found it absolutely necessary to start his season by nicking Scott Franks, allowing a hit to Milian, and then give up a booming 3-run homer to Fidel Carrera… Boys!! What the **** are you DOING????

Tipsy Bobby gave up another run on Franks’ leadoff triple and Milian’s inevitable sac fly in the third inning, falling behind 4-2, although the Raccoons made up a run again in the top 4th, with Jim White singling home Angel Perez with two outs after Christopher had hit into a double play after Tomlin had followed Perez’ leadoff walk with a single. Top 5th, and the bases were loaded with nobody out on straight singles by Herrera, Morris, and Lonzo. Oliver Graham lost cohesion, walked in the tying run against Brassfield, then plated the go-ahead run with a wild pitch … and ANOTHER run with ANOTHER wild pitch…! Perez’ RBI double on a 3-1 pitch made it a 7-4 game and knocked out Graham in favor of lefty Vincent Hernandez. Tomlin walked intentionally before Christopher flew out to Chet Whetstine in left. In a display of peak stupidity Angel Perez was going full bore on the play and was south of third base when he realized Whetstine had made the catch and was in this very moment throwing to second base to double him off. Jim White grounded out to end the inning.

The Coons pressed Tipsy Bobby through six innings, but not without him giving up a homer to Carrera along the way before leaving with a 7-5 score, which became 7-6 on the watch of Ricky H. in the bottom 7th, who gave up singles to left-handed batters Phil Reder and Scott Franks. The Coons would have to come back against Matt Pickel in the eighth inning. Christopher reached base to begin the inning, but only got to second base while White and Fowler made outs. Jon Bean then hit for Ricky H. and singled past Danny Miller to bring in the insurance run from second base, 8-6, and Morris and Lonzo added more 2-out singles against Pickel to further extend the lead to 9-6 on the Lonzo hit. New pitcher Michael McLaughlin then walked Brassfield, but Perez grounded out to leave the bases loaded.

Moving on, Ryan Sullivan didn’t retire ******* anybody in the bottom 8th, beginning with a Robles infield single and continuing with two more hits and a walk by the 5-6-7 batters before Jake Jackson hit a sac fly in the #8 spot that narrowed the score to 9-8 again. Justin Rocco replaced him against Reder and got an inning-ending double play from the lefty swinger. Matt Walters hung on, though, allowing a 2-out single to Carrera in the bottom 9th, but then rung up Robles to get the Raccoons into the W column. 9-8 Coons. Morris 2-5; Lavorano 3-4, BB, RBI; Perez 2-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Bean (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Like I said, our rotation is sturdy.

Game 3
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – C Perez – 1B Tomlin – RF Christopher – 2B White – 3B Fowler – P Robinson
MIL: CF Franks – RF Milian – 1B D. Robles – SS F. Carrera – 3B D. Miller – 2B Lange – LF Reder – C Jack – P Hinojosa

Franks opened the rubber game for the Loggers with a double to right, but was then kept on second base for the rest of the inning as Nick Robinson managed to put up the first first-inning goose egg for the Critters in ’62! Yay…! Ralph Lange would single to center in the bottom 2nd, but was picked off by Robinson to end the inning. Robinson also struck out six batters in the first three innings. He added Milian to the list to begin the fourth, but then walked Robles. He further walked Phil Reder in the bottom 5th, but then came up on Hinojosa with two outs, so what was the worst that could happen? An RBI double for the pitcher and an RBI triple for Franks of course, and a 2-0 Loggers lead. Milian grounded out to Fowler to end that inning. In the sixth Robles reached on a throwing error by Perez, but remained on base. And yes, the Raccoons took their turns at-bat. They just didn’t do bloody anything. When Brass drew a 1-out walk and Perez singled in the top 6th, it already counted as the biggest threat the team had put up so far. They converted with Forbes Tomlin mashing the team’s first homer of the year, a 3-piece to left that flipped the score to 3-2 Critters.

Bottom 7th, and the Loggers loaded the bases in the most stupid way possible. Reder legged out an infield single to begin the inning, while Robinson then threw away J.P. Jack’s comebacker for an error. Hinojosa popped out, but Robinson drilled Franks before getting the hook. Justin Rocco replaced Robinson, and rodeoed the Coons’ way outta there by getting pops on the infield from both Milian and Robles, stranding all those runners. When Fowler led off the top 8th with a single against Hinojosa, Rocco was retained to bunt, dropping down a beauty that Danny Miller fired away for two bases, putting Critters on second and third with nobody out. The Raccoons, an inherently stupid team, saw Morris getting walked intentionally and then Lonzo ground into a force at the plate and Brassfield into an inning-ending 6-4-3 double play… Rocco and Murdock held the 3-2 lead in the bottom 8th, while Hinojosa was still pitching in the ninth for Milwaukee. Leadoff hits put Perez and Tomlin on the corners before Christopher struck out. Nick Fox batted for Jim White, and his groundout at least got home an insurance run. A walk to Fowler finally got Hinojosa out of the game, but Matt Pickel gave up a pair of 2-out RBI singles to Mata and Morris before getting out of the inning. Middleton got the ball for the bottom 9th with a 6-2 lead and immediately disappointed, throwing 29 pitches for no immediate effect other than to walk Jack and Milian and almost surrendered a homer to Franks in between. It required Matt Walters to get the game over the line without an implosion… 6-2 Raccoons. Perez 2-4, 2B; Tomlin 3-4, HR, 3 RBI; Fowler 2-3, BB; Mata (PH) 1-1, RBI; Robinson 6.1 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 9 K, W (1-0);

Raccoons (2-1) vs. Falcons (2-1) – April 7-9, 2062

Here was the other team that had finished bottoms with over 100 losses in their division last season, and the Falcons were in the park for the home opener. It was the first home game after the death of longtime owner Nick Valdes, and a ceremony was held before the game. This was also where the Raccoons formally unveiled the black sleeve patch they’d wear for the rest of the year. The Falcons meanwhile had done respectably to begin the season, taking two of three from the Aces while allowing only seven runs. The Coons had won six of nine games from the Falcons last year.

Projected matchups:
Chance Fox (0-0) vs. Ivan Rodriguez (0-0)
Angel Alba (0-0) vs. Leo Mendez (0-0)
Tyler Riddle (0-1, 13.50 ERA) vs. Phil Baker (0-0, 1.29 ERA)

We’d face a left-hander eventually… but not in this series.

Game 1
CHA: RF Padgett – CF Washington – C L. Miranda – 1B Valcarcel – 3B O’Donnell – 2B Falcon – LF D. Ceballos – SS T. Taylor – P I. Rodriguez
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – 1B Tomlin – RF Christopher – 2B J. White – 3B N. Fox – C Arellano – P C. Fox

Coons starting pitching remained ***** with Chance Fox getting whooped around for eight hits in the first three innings. The Falcons left the bases loaded without scoring in the first, had runners on the corners when Cody Padgett was caught stealing for the third out in the second inning, and then finally scored a 3-spot on back-to-back homers by Jesus Valcarcel and Chris O’Donnell to left in the third inning. The Raccoons trailed yet again, but loaded the bases with Nick Fox, Arellano, and Morris in the bottom 3rd, bringing up Lonzo with one out. At this point, Rodriguez had already left with an injury and reliever Gary Ponds walked in the Coons’ first run on five pitches, four of which missed, to Lonzo. He walked Brass as well, and gave up a game-tying sac fly to Tomlin before being yanked for a new hurler, Franklin Mendoza. The new righty walked Christopher to restack the bases, then gave up a 2-run single to Jim White, followed by an infield single to Nick Fox. Arellano singled in another pair, 7-3, before Chance Fox struck out to end the mental inning.

Problem was, Chance Fox still blew and retired none of the four batters he faced to begin the fifth inning. Two hits, then two walks, and a swift exit with the bags stacked with the tying runs. Ryan Sullivan replaced him, but could not have been more useless if he had been covered in glitter and lobbed baseballs out of a sling. A Miguel Falcon (yes, indeed) sac fly, a Danny Ceballos single, and a groundout by Trent Taylor all brought in a run to tie the score at seven. Joe Washington’s single and another 2-run homer from Valcarcel off Sullivan then put the Falcons back in front, 9-7, in the sixth. The Raccoons gave up, put DeRose on the hill, and he instantly gave up O’Donnell’s second homer on the day as well, 10-7. He could not expect mercy at this stage and was left in to finish the ******* ballgame, giving up another 3-spot (one run earned) in the ninth inning, but the error that made for two unearned runs was on him-*******-self. The Raccoons got blasted by a last-place team from 2061 for the third time in four games this year… 13-8 Falcons. Christopher 1-2, 2 BB; White 2-4, 2 RBI; Arellano 3-4, 2 RBI;

At this point our pitching department ranked last in … pretty much everything.

Game 2
CHA: RF Washington – SS T. Taylor – C L. Miranda – 1B Valcarcel – 3B O’Donnell – 2B Falcon – LF Padgett – CF Geiger – P P. Baker
POR: CF Morris – RF Christopher – LF Brassfield – 1B Tomlin – C Perez – SS Fowler – 3B N. Fox – 2B Bean – P Alba

Alba! It was *Alba* to pitch a somewhat decent ballgame, finally… for six innings, because then he was chased by rain, and for no reward, because he left in a 1-1 tie, the scarce offense provided by solo homers hit by Joey Christopher in the third inning and the highly annoying Valcarcel in the fifth. Murdock got the ball in the seventh, put a Falcon (but not Falcon) on base, and required Ricky Herrera to wiggle out of the inning, while the Raccoons loaded the bases with Bean (who got nicked, but not beaned), Mata (who singled and was unretired in scarce exposure), and Morris. Lonzo batted for Christopher against the left-handed Steve White, but popped out, however, Brassfield found left-center for a 2-out, 2-run single and grabbed a 3-1 lead before Tomlin struck out. Middleton then tried to blow the lead in the eighth, walking Dan Geiger and giving up a near-blast to Joe Washington that was picked off the top of the left-center fence by Ben Morris after lots of hangtime, which ended the inning. Jim White and Jon Bean hit 2-out singles in the bottom 8th before being left on by Mata popping out to second, which gave the ball back to Matt Walters, who sawed off the 2-3-4 batters with two strikeouts and a fly to center. 3-1 Raccoons. Christopher 1-2, BB, HR, RBI; Brassfield 2-4, 2 RBI; White (PH) 1-1; Bean 1-2; Mata (PH) 1-2; Alba 6.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 6 K;

Ricky Herrera pitched for one out and burgled his first win of the year. Sneaky bugger.

Game 3
CHA: RF Padgett – LF B. Snyder – C L. Miranda – 1B Valcarcel – 3B O’Donnell – 2B Falcon – CF Washington – SS T. Taylor – P L. Mendez
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – C Perez – 1B Tomlin – RF Christopher – 2B J. White – LF Mata – 3B Fowler – P Riddle

Second run through the rotation, and it could actually not get much worse; Tyler Riddle’s 13.50 ERA from his first start wasn’t even the worst on the team. There were FOUR pitchers with double-digit ERA’s hobbling ‘round.

Both teams had their #6 hitter knocked over by a pitch the first time through, and neither managed to make anything out of this or any other situation in the early innings, including Ben Morris’ leadoff single in the bottom 1st, the only base hit for either side in the early frames. Riddle struck out four in these three innings, then walked three in the fourth, offering free passes to Luis Miranda, Valcarcel, and the Falcon Falcon. Joe Washington, confusingly not a Capital, then struck out to end the inning. The first Falcon to get a base hit would actually be – no, not Miguel Falcon – the opposing pitcher Leo Mendez, singling in the fifth, but it didn’t lead anywhere nice.

The game was still scoreless at the seventh inning stretch, with Riddle having given his all for a 2-hitter on 104 pitches, but at this point he was exhausted. When Jim White reached with a single in the bottom 7th, Brassfield batted for Riddle, but flew out to Padgett to end the inning. Sullivan then got the ball, allowed a 1-out single to Brendan Snyder and was taken deep by Luis Miranda in the top 8th, shooting his ERA into the 20s. Mendez was still going with a 4-hit shutout at this point, but drilled Morris in the chest to begin the bottom 8th, then gave up a single to Lonzo, putting the tying runs on base. With “Double Play” Perez up, the runners went, and Luis Miranda had the nerve to be surprised, then threw the ball past O’Donnell for an error. Morris scored and Lonzo parked his butt at third base with nobody out, from where Perez singled him in two pitches later and went to second base with the go-ahead run when Danny Ceballos overran his single in rightfield. Gary Ponds walked Tomlin, and both runners advanced on Joe-Chris’ groundout. Jim White’s fly to right was good enough for a sac fly and a 3-2 lead, but Mata struck out.

Rocco got the ball in the ninth inning against the bottom of the order, since Walters had been out three out of four days, and there was no use in burning him out in the first half of April. Rocco got a groundout from Washington, then brushed Taylor with a pitch, but got a grounder to short from Dave Gonzalez in the #9 hole, and Lonzo started a game-concluding 6-4-3 double play. 3-2 Critters. Perez 2-4, RBI; White 1-2, RBI; Riddle 7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 9 K and 1-2, 2B;

The double steal marked Lonzo’s 677th career stolen base, tying Raccoons legend “Berto” Ramos for fourth all-time.

Raccoons (4-2) vs. Aces (1-5) – April 10-12, 2062

The Aces had scored all of 12 runs so far, which the Raccoons had already been battered for in a single game twice in this young season, and had given up 27 runs, eighth a mere week in. The Raccoons had the third-most runs made, but had also been gangbanged for 39 runs in six games, worst in the CL. The Raccoons had lost six of nine games to Vegas last year, and had lost the season series three years running, making the Aces the only team in the CL that we had not won at least one of the last two season series against.

Projected matchups:
Bobby Herrera (1-0, 7.50 ERA) vs. Steve Hunter (1-0, 0.00 ERA)
Nick Robinson (1-0, 2.84 ERA) vs. Bill Grau (0-0, 1.29 ERA)
Chance Fox (0-0, 15.75 ERA) vs. Dan Graham (0-1, 3.38 ERA)

You wanna see left-handed pitchers? Here you have ‘em, three of them lined up by the Aces. Tipsy Bobby was the only right-hander to get the ball from either team in this series.

Game 1
LVA: CF Jad. Wilson – SS Veguilla – LF K. Hummel – RF J. Evans – 3B A. Alfaro – 2B M. Roberts – 1B Echols – C Burgio – P S. Hunter
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – RF Brassfield – C Perez – 1B Tomlin – 2B J. White – 3B N. Fox – LF Ayala – P B. Herrera

Tipsy Bobby also pitched much less awfully than in his first outing and allowed only two hits in four innings, but the Raccoons entered the fourth inning hitlessly, and with only Ben Morris having reached base after being hit by a pitch in the first inning. Lonzo opened the bottom 4th with a groundout, but Brass and Perez then broke the drought with back-to-back singles, followed two pitches later by Tomlin’s RBI double to right. White’s groundout added a second run, but Nick Fox’ groundout ended the inning. Herrera gave up a couple of long fly balls in the middle innings, but they all came down in outfielder’s mittens on or near the warning track. Both teams had three hits apiece through six, and Bobby H. was on only 62 pitches. His shutout bid was threatened in the seventh with a leadoff single for Ken Hummel, who would gain a base on a balk in the inning, but ultimately was left on third base when Herrera struck out Mike Roberts to bring on stretch time.

Bottom 7th, Jim White got on base and was immediately caught stealing by Casey Burgio, but Hunter came apart with another walk to Fox, while Ayala reached on an error by Alex Alfaro. Brad Sisson replaced him, but the right-hander walked Herrera before doing anything else, filling the bags for Morris with one out. A long fly to center was caught by Jaden Wilson, but brought in a run, while Wilson caught Lonzo’s fly to shallow center to end the inning. The bottom of the order disappeared quietly in the top 8th while Brass led off the bottom 8th with a single, stole second, and was doubled home by Perez. Another run was scratched out with a pinch-hit single by Christopher and Fox’ sac fly, sending Herrera back out against the 1-2-3 batters with a 5-0 lead. Jon Bean was at second base now and handled both grounders by Wilson and Bobby Colford for the first two outs, while Hummel popped out to finish the game. 5-0 Furballs! Morris 0-1, BB, RBI; Perez 2-4, 2B, RBI; Christopher (PH) 1-1; B. Herrera 9.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, W (2-0);

Game 2
LVA: 2B M. Roberts – SS Veguilla – LF K. Hummel – RF J. Evans – 3B A. Alfaro – 1B D. Williams – CF Jad. Wilson – C Colford – P Grau
POR: RF Christopher – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – 1B Tomlin – 2B White – CF Mata – 3B N. Fox – C Arellano – P Robinson

The Aces scored a run (!) in the first with some help from Robinson, who nicked Miguel Veguilla, who in turn came around with a Hummel double and an RBI groundout by Jake Evans. The Raccoons had a threat going in the bottom 1st with a leadoff single to right by Christopher, and then Lonzo doubling to left. Brass struck out, and Tomlin’s sac fly remained the only answer on the board to the Aces’ early lead, with White flying out to Evans to leave Lonzo in scoring position.

Vegas went back on top in the top 2nd with a 2-out walk to Colford, and then Grau reaching on an uncaught third strike, followed by Mike Roberts’ RBI single to center. Veguilla grounded out to second to leave two on, but at least the Aces had now scored their two runs a game and we could plan our comeback for a 3-2 win. Without Nick Fox, though, who left the game in the third inning with a sore elbow and was replaced with Nick Fowler.

Robinson continued to leak runs, shedding another one in the fourth on leadoff doubles by Dustin Williams and Wilson, but then kept the latter runner on base. There just constantly seemed to be an Ace on base, but sometimes there was also an Ace off Base, like in the fifth, when Alfaro reached but was picked off to end the inning.

The Raccoons had only three hits through six innings and kept trailing 3-1, but to make up for their lackluster production they shed another third baseman on a defensive play, as in the top 7th, just after Hummel knocked out Robinson with a 1-out single, Evans’ grounder to third base was turned into an out by Fowler, but he then immediately went into a hunched-over position with his hands on top of his knees and waited for collection by Luis Silva. Jon Bean was the last reasonable option we had for that dangerous position. He immediately got into the action, catching a foul pop Alfaro hit off Murdock to end the inning, then waved to the dugout, all smiles, before being taken by a plus-sized screeching bald eagle that scooped down and – (opens eyes and looks around confused) Maud? Did we win? Did I nod off? Do we still have a player with all limbs attached??

The answers to these questions turned out to be, in order: nope, yup, and hardly. Brass and Tomlin went to the corners with 1-out hits in the bottom 8th, but White popped out and Mata whiffed to keep them on base. Middleton and Ricky H. held the Aces to nothing more than their pairs of threes (runs) and nines (hits) in the eighth and ninth innings, before righty Jordan Juarez came out against the bottom of the order in the home half of the ninth. Arellano reached by getting nicked with one out, and that was as good as it got here for Portland, with a Perez groundout and Christopher whiffing to end the game. 3-1 Aces. Arellano 2-3, 2B;

The Portland Nicked-ups made a roster move, sending Nick Fox to the DL with the sore elbow, but Fowler remained with a diagnosis pending on the roster for the rubber game. Armando Suriel, the only other non-1B infielder on the 40-man roster, was brought up. Suriel had batted .264 (all singles) in 21 games for the ’60 Coons, but had spent all of 2061 in St. Pete, hitting .251 with 5 homers. Since we were still facing southpaws and he was a switch-hitter, he went straight in the lineup for the series finale.

Game 3
LVA: 2B M. Roberts – SS Veguilla – LF K. Hummel – RF J. Evans – 3B A. Alfaro – 1B D. Williams – CF Jad. Wilson – C Colford – P D. Graham
POR: LF Morris – SS Lavorano – RF Brassfield – C Perez – 1B Tomlin – 2B White – CF Mata – 3B Suriel – P C. Fox

Leadoff walk to Roberts, a wild pitch, and Evans’ 2-out single, and the Aces scored in the first inning again facing Fox, who entered with a 15.75 ERA and was well advised to shave off a couple of standard ERA’s from that. Fox struck out Graham to finish the second inning, which was actually his first K of the year after a full six innings, then made it three in a row with Roberts and Veguilla to begin the top 3rd.

While the Coons’ offense looked dead from the ankles up once more with the notable exception of Lonzo, who walked and stole second in the first, and doubled in the fourth, and never found any friends to move him around to score, Foxie Brown picked Colford off first base in the top 5th, which was somehow already the third runner Raccoons pitchers had picked off in this season. Roberts walked and Veguilla singled in the sixth, but Roberts was caught stealing before Veguilla got on base, and Hummel doubled up the shortstop to end the inning.

We were past the stretch when the Raccoons finally reached ******* scoring position again, just before I could reach *snoring* position once more because they were such barbiturates to look at. Brass hit a leadoff single and White added a 2-out single to send them to the corners in the bottom 7th, but Mata’s chop fly to right on an 0-2 pitch ended up with Evans – but the Gold Glover dropped the ball, and Brass scored, while White and Mata went to scoring position in a now tied ballgame. Saying something about Suriel’s standing in the league, the Aces pitched to him and got an easy grounder to second base to end the inning. Foxie Brown finished eight innings after the lousy beginning, then had Christopher hit a leadoff single to left in his place in the bottom 8th. Absolutely ******* nothing came of that, and now the Raccoons were faced with finding a righty reliever that was not an auto-loss in a 1-1 game in the ninth; with how the Vegas lineup looked, we would want Walters pitch the *10th* if it came that far. Ryan Sullivan pitched a scoreless inning, barely, after a leadoff single given up to Veguilla, who was forced out by Hummel. The go-ahead run ended up stranded at second base. Dan Graham was still pitching to begin the bottom 9th, facing Perez, who popped out. Tomlin did not better, but Jim White walked. Mata grounded out, and here were extras.

Walters handled the inning without allowing a run, but walked Dustin Williams leading off to present an annoyance on base. Jordan Juarez gave up a 1-out single to Christopher in the bottom 10th, then faced Bean, because Morris had faded from the game in favor of the pitcher occupying the #1 spot. Bean singled, however, and Joe-Chris dashed all the way to third base, giving Lonzo the chance for a walkoff sac fly or groundout if necessary – and he came through! Fly to center, Branson Mathews had to make a few steps back, and there was no throwing out Christopher from there as he scored for the walkoff. 2-1 Blighters. Bean (PH) 1-1; White 2-3, BB; Christopher (PH) 2-2; C. Fox 8.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K;

In other news

April 4 – SAC INF Zach Suggs (5-for-8, 2 HR, 6 RBI) hits his 300th career home run in a 12-10 loss to the Gold Sox. The milestone is a 2-run home run in an 8-run rally, coming off DEN MR Daniel Becerra (0-0, 7.71 ERA) in the fourth inning. Suggs, age 35, is a two-time CL home run champion that has hit .302/.368/.472 for his career while driving in 1,229 runs.
April 5 – The Indians trade SP Aaron Sciuto, 29-37 with a 4.08 ERA in his career, to the Gold Sox for infielder Eric Cirelli (1-for-2, 0 HR, 0 RBI), a career .253 batter with 8 HR, 88 RBI, and a prospect.
April 8 – The Stars beat the Capitals, 1-0 in 10 innings, walking off on a throwing error by Caps catcher Bruce Burkart (.375, 0 HR, 5 RBI).
April 9 – IND 3B/2B/RF Joe Humphries (.333, 1 HR, 6 RBI) hits a come-from-behind, walkoff grand slam in the 10th inning to beat the Aces, 8-5.
April 9 – The Stars scorch the Capitals, 15-1, with DAL RF/LF/1B Tommy Pritchard (.462, 2 HR, 10 RBI) going 5-for-5 with 3 RBI. Three of his hits are doubles.

FL Player of the Week: LAP 2B/SS Jesse Sweeney (.448, 3 HR, 15 RBI)
CL Player of the Week: NYC OF Tommy Branch (.429, 2 HR, 5 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

6-3 with a -4 run differential. Things could still go either way, huh?

Nine games in, and Lonzo is the only thing still standing from what we would call our starting infielders, even considering that the two Nick F.’s have the weirdest half-stake in the third-base job and that Nick N. was de-Nye-d participation in April games from the start. Could be a long year.

Lonzo’s stolen base on Wednesday broke the tie with Berto for fourth all-time he had achieved three days earlier. From here, it was just eight more to third-place Guillermo Obando.

There were still some relievers signing in early April, including former Critter Takenori Tanizaki, who signed a $1.58M deal with the Knights on the second Monday of the season.

Because that wasn’t rough enough a start, he Raccoons would immediately have to embark on a grueling 4-city road trip with four games in Indy, three in Elk City, three in Mexico, and three in Oklahoma. The Condors series was framed by off days.

Fun Fact: Bobby Herrera has pitched at least one shutout in each season of his career.

His rookie season in 2058 was the only one where he pitched two, though.

[Westheim]

When the Raccoons embarked on the road trip, Nick Fowler didn’t come along, getting put on the DL with a partial tear in his labrum instead, which sounded like it was gonna take a while. It was a small tear, I was assured, and Luis Silva would be able to mend it without cutting Fowler up top to bottom, which still didn’t help with restocking the rapidly depleting roster.

The Raccoons were reduced to bringing up Arturo Bribiesca from the Alley Cats at this point, who was by now 30 years old and hadn’t featured in the majors in the last two years at all. The Alley Cats meanwhile, for infielders, were down to first-sackers Jack Kozak and Mike Davis, and hot 3B Victor Morales. The rest would have to be patched with super utility outfielders Ellis Brown and Jorge Moreno, and a sixth-round shortstop, Joe Gardner, brought up from Ham Lake, that had no business being in AAA. Bribiesca got #50 at this stage, his old #33 having been assigned to Jim White.

Raccoons (6-3) @ Indians (6-2) – April 13-16, 2062

The Indians had conceded just 18 runs in their first eight games, so here was a challenge for the Raccoons’ challenged offense and what was already just left of it. Offensively, Indy had put up the fourth-fewest runs themselves so far. This pairing had been a 9-9 split in 2061.

Projected matchups:
Angel Alba (0-0, 1.50 ERA) vs. Jarod Morris (1-0, 0.00 ERA)
Tyler Riddle (0-1, 4.35 ERA) vs. Travis Glovinsky (0-0, 4.50 ERA)
Bobby Herrera (2-0, 3.00 ERA) vs. Mike DeWitt (2-0, 2.08 ERA)
Nick Robinson (1-1, 3.55 ERA) vs. Antonio Pichardo (0-1, 4.50 ERA)

DeWitt was the only left-hander coming up in this series. Glovinsky had been a Rule 5 draft robbed from the Raccoons two winters ago. He had been exclusively used out of the pen in ’61, going 3-2 with a 3.32 ERA in 32 games, which looked a tad like a glitch in the matrix.

Game 1
POR: CF B. Morris – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – C Perez – 1B Tomlin – RF Christopher – 2B White – 3B Bean – P Alba
IND: CF S. Thompson – LF Abel – 2B Kilday – 1B Starwalt – RF Lovins – SS Cirelli – C Atencio – 3B Humphries – P Jar. Morris

Ben Morris singled off Jarod Morris to begin the game, and stole second base, and when Eric Cirelli threw away Brass’ grounder with one out, that opened the floodgates. Morris scored on that play, Brass was driven in by Perez, and with two outs Christopher hit an RBI triple and Jim White singled him home in turn, going up 4-0 before the inning ended. Then it was Angel Alba’s turn to get whacked, allowing singles to Steve Thompson and Matt Kilday before serving up a 3-piece to Chris Lovins in the bottom 1st. 4-3, and eight innings to go…!

The Indians took a 5-4 lead in the second inning with more singles for Vinny Atencio and Joe Humphries, who both scored when Christopher completely butchered a fly to right by Steve Thompson, turning it from a likely sac fly into two bases and two runs for the Indians. The Raccoons got even with doubles from Perez and Tomlin in the third inning, then took a 6-5 lead again with Jon Bean’s leadoff jack (!!) off Jarod Morris in the fourth. It was the second career homer for Bean, and the last action for Jarod Morris on the night, with him getting replaced with righty Jesse Pursel. Alba followed an inning later after allowing a 1-out single to Kilday and offering a four-pitch walk to Danny Starwalt. Ricky Herrera popped out Lovins for the second out, but then allowed straight hits to Cirelli, Atencio, and Humphries to fudge three runs onto the board.

Although the Raccoons pretended the game to be over when they inserted DeRose into the 8-6 contest, the top 7th saw Cruz Madrid put on Ben Morris off the bat, and Morris gained a base on a bad pickoff throw before being singled home by Lonzo, who was the tying run on base, but couldn’t get a jump while Brass struck out and Perez popped out. Tomlin’s scratch single moved him to second base, a wild pitch by Madrid made it third base, and Joe-Chris’ fly out to Steve Thompson made it straight to the dugout from there without touching home. The Raccoons did not get another base runner until Brassfield hit an infield single off Cody Kleidon with two outs in the ninth inning. Perez grounded out to Cirelli to end the game. 8-7 Indians. Morris 3-5; Perez 2-5, 2B, RBI; Tomlin 2-4, 2B, RBI; White 2-4, RBI; DeRose 3.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 2 K;

Game 2
POR: CF B. Morris – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – C Perez – 1B Tomlin – RF Christopher – 2B White – 3B Bean – P Riddle
IND: 2B Kilday – RF Lovins – 1B Starwalt – CF S. Thompson – 3B Humphries – C Atencio – LF J. Gutierrez – SS Cirelli – P Glovinsky

Riddle faced the minimum the first time through, including Jim White dropping Humphries pop in the second inning, but then pooling talent together with Lonzo to turn a double play on Atencio’s grounder to clean up his own mess. The Raccoons had two singles the first time through, which didn’t get them very far, while Kilday and Starwalt got singles off Riddle in the fourth inning and the speedy Kilday reaching as far as third base when Humphries popped out to Lonzo to end the inning. The Raccoons were also on the corners in the top 5th with a leadoff walk for Joe-Chris and Bean’s soft single that sent him to third base. Riddle poked at a 3-1 pitch, but Kilday and Cirelli could not turn the double play in time against the *pitcher*, who thus drove in the run for his own 1-0 lead.

The Critters tacked on to that in the sixth which began with Lonzo drawing a leadoff walk (!) and then being forgotten about for two outs before Tomlin stuffed a double into the left-center gap that sent Lonzo around to score from first. Christopher added an RBI single, 3-0, before White flew out to center to turn the stick over to the Indians, who answered with two runs of their own. Starwalt homered to left with one out, Thompson hit an infield single, and was driven in by Atencio with two outs and another single. Riddle got outta there with a K on Jose Gutierrez, then was hit for with Suriel in the seventh. Suriel drew a walk, but that was the only offensive action in that inning.

Rocco held the 3-2 lead together in the bottom 7th before the Raccoons built a chance against Indy’s Tim Moore to begin the eighth. Brass hit a soft single and Perez knocked a double off the wall in right to put a pair in scoring position for Tomlin, who popped out to first, and Christopher, who fanned, and then finally Jim White, who grounded out to Humphries, except the 36-year-old third baseman was tardy off the line and lost the play that way, allowing Brass to FINALLY score from third base on the resulting infield single, 4-2. Bean flew out to right to end the inning. Rocco got one more out from Thompson in the bottom 8th, then handed the ball to Murdock, who popped out Humphries before giving up a pinch-hit homer to Bryan Johnston, a 24-year-old sophomore outfielder. Gutierrez grounded out to finish the eighth.

Top 9th, and the Raccoons got a chance from nothing. Marcos Arellano batted for Murdock against righty Juan Carrillo, but reached only on an error by Cirelli. Morris grounded to Kilday, who took the ball off his chest, then scrambled late and Morris was adjudged as having reached on an “infield single”. Lonzo grounded out, advancing the runners, and Brass was walked with intent to coerce Angel Perez to hit into a double play … or a comebacker for an out at home, which was similarly depressing. Tomlin also grounded out to the pitcher as the Raccoons choked on having the bases loaded once again. At least Walters didn’t choke and retired the Indians in order, with two strikeouts. 4-3 Coons. Christopher 2-3, BB, RBI;

With no off day until Thursday, there’d be another round of off days. Ben Morris would sit down on Saturday against the lefty DeWitt. Brass and Lonzo were planned for Sunday to take a seat.

Game 3
POR: 2B White – SS Lavorano – RF Brassfield – 1B Tomlin – CF Mata – LF Ayala – C Arellano – 3B Suriel – P B. Herrera
IND: CF S. Thompson – SS Cirelli – 2B Kilday – 1B Starwalt – RF Lovins – LF B. Johnston – C Atencio – 3B Humphries – P DeWitt

Bobby H., coming off the shutout against the Aces, had two scoreless to start the Saturday game, but also failed to get a bunt down after Armando Suriel hit a leadoff single to begin the third inning, and struck out. Jim White singled and Suriel reached third base that way, then scored when Lonzo snuck another one up the middle for an RBI single. Brassfield then whiffed, Tomlin walked, but Mata struck out to end the inning with the bases loaded. Tipsy Bobby hit a single his next time up, leading off the fifth inning, and White singled as well. Both reached scoring position on Lonzo’s grounder to short, and Brassfield, hitting all of .195 at this point, was walked intentionally to get to Tomlin, who hit a sac fly to left, 2-0, before Carlos Mata turned an 0-2 pitch around for a 2-run double in the right-center gap, putting DeWitt down 4-0, even though when he rung up Ayala to end the inning, that was his eighth strikeout in the game. Bobby H. had five through as many innings, but had yet to allow a base hit.

Portland tacked on in the seventh when Dave Corrao walked Brass, then gave Brass another base with a bad pickoff attempt before giving up an RBI single to Tomlin on the next pitch. That put Tomlin at 10 RBI, the first Raccoon to double digit RBI’s this year, and while not even being on the Opening Day roster! Also still around: Carlos Mata, who cracked another 2-out extra-base knock, this one all the way over the fence for his first Coons bomb and a 7-0 lead.

Herrera took the no-hitter to the seventh inning before Kilday killed it with a single to left, but was immediately doubled up by Starwalt with a grounder to short to end the inning. Bobby was at 87 pitches through seven innings, but then saw off the Indians on five pitches in the bottom 8th and thus still had very fine bid going for back-to-back shutouts! Joe Humphries began the bottom 9th with a pop to Suriel on the first pitch. Suriel also caught the second out on a foul pop, although Mike Weber had run a full count. Thompson came back up, whacked the first pitch to center, but Mata got into position and made the catch. 7-0 Furballs! White 2-5; Lavorano 2-5, RBI; Tomlin 3-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Mata 2-5, HR, 2B, 4 RBI; Ayala 2-4; B. Herrera 9.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 7 K, W (3-0) and 1-4;

Tipsy Bobby!! Back-to-back shutouts!!

Also, first guy in the majors to three wins, not that that would count for much and long.

The Raccoons also moved into first place for the first time this season.

Game 4
POR: CF Morris – RF Christopher – 1B Tomlin – C Perez – LF Mata – 2B White – SS Bean – 3B Bribiesca – P Robinson
IND: 2B Kilday – RF Lovins – C A. Gomez – 1B Starwalt – CF S. Thompson – LF Abel – 3B Humphries – SS Cirelli – P Pichardo

The Raccoons had a new sole team leader in bombs in the first inning when Carlos Mata mashed his second 2-piece in as many games and for the season, giving Robinson a 3-0 lead after the inning began with a Morris triple and Christopher sac fly. Tomlin hit a 1-out single before scoring on the Mata home run. Ben Morris hit *another* triple in the second inning, driving in Nick Robinson and his 2-out single for a 4-0 lead, but this time was left on by Joe-Chris. No Raccoon had ever hit three triples in a game and Morris had to be content with a single his next time up, leading off the fifth in a 4-1 game after Chris Lovins had whacked an inside-the-park home run off Robinson in the previous half-inning. Morris stole second base, but the 2-3-4 batters disappeared without much noise and he didn’t score. Around this time, Robinson struggled with bad counts, being behind almost every batter. He seemed to turn the corner in the sixth, striking out a pair, but then allowed a leadoff single to Thompson and a double to Kevin Abel to begin the bottom 7th, putting a pair in scoring position. Humphries’ sac fly narrowed the score to 4-2, but left-handers Cirelli and Weber then came up and the Coons stuck with the lefty pitcher they already had. Cirelli popped out and the pinch-hitting Weber struck out to finish Robinson’s day.

The Indians then got a chance outta nothing in the bottom 8th when errors by White and Perez, with Rocco and Sullivan pitching, put Lovins and Starwalt on base by the time there were two outs. With the left-handed Thompson up next, the Raccoons flipped in Walters and Brassfield in a double switch, Tomlin’s time in the game being over. Thompson flew out to Mata on a 1-2 pitch to end the inning and strand the very unearned tying runs. The Coons did not tack on in the ninth, but the Indians went down in order against Walters, with only Abel’s long fly out making any commotion. 4-2 Critters. Morris 3-4, 3 2B, RBI; Tomlin 2-4; Robinson 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 8 K, W (2-1) and 1-3;

Raccoons (9-4) @ Canadiens (4-8) – April 17-19, 2062

The Elks were bottoms in the league in runs scored with just 29 markers from 12 games, but that’s what the Raccoons’ trips to the tundra were for… Their bullpen had been nothing but incendiary, too, with a 5.56 ERA against the relievers, undoing a basically decent rotation, and they had a -24 run differential in the middle of April. The Raccoons had won the season series against the Elks for six seasons in a row, 10-8 in 2061.

Projected matchups:
Chance Fox (0-0, 6.00 ERA) vs. Shane Fitzgibbon (0-2, 2.51 ERA)
Angel Alba (0-1, 5.23 ERA) vs. Rafael Mendoza (0-2, 4.38 ERA)
Tyler Riddle (1-1, 3.86 ERA) vs. Carson Miller (0-1, 6.00 ERA)

Southpaw Monday. Miller was a 24-year-old sophomore that had appeared in 31 games, mostly out of the pen, last year, and this year in two starts had issued more walks than strikeouts so far.

Game 1
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – C Perez – 1B Tomlin – RF Brassfield – LF Mata – 2B White – 3B Bribiesca – P C. Fox
VAN: 2B A. Castillo – CF Needham – 1B J. Campos – 3B Whittington – C A. Maldonado – SS C. Sullivan – RF D. Moreno – LF D. Garcia – P Fitzgibbon

The Raccoons had another first-inning triple, this time by Lonzo after Morris drew a leadoff walk. That made for a quick 1-0 lead, but then also quick annoyance when the 3-4-5 batters all made miserable outs and failed to get Lonzo home for the extra run. The skinny lead was soon under threat with an Alex Maldonado double in the second inning, but he was stranded at third base, and in the third then when Danny Garcia, Alex Castillo, and Bobby Needham gradually loaded the bases against Fox with one out. Jose Campos popped out and Thomas Whittington whiffed to keep the Elks off the board. Chance Fox tried to dig himself another shallow grave in the fifth inning, allowing a leadoff single to the opposing pitcher, then a walk to Castillo, but then the Elks struck out twice and Whittington rolled one over to Jim White to end that inning, too.

Angel Perez hit a homer to extend the Coons’ lead to 2-0 in the sixth inning, but that was also only the fourth hit for the team in this game. Fox finally croaked in the same inning, allowing a single to Chris Sullivan before walking the bags full, and then gave up an infield single to Fitzgibbon with the bases loaded. That scored a run and got the pen involved. Ryan Sullivan would be less of a help than hoped for, plating the tying run with a wild pitch, but then walked Needham anyway. A Campos sac fly then gave the lead to the Elks, 3-2, but Whittington grounded out to keep piling up his runners left on base tally.

Top 8th, and back home in the office in Portland I then made a bit of a mess, having so far watched the game with Slappy on the trusty brown couch, a bucket of fudge between us for nourishment. Brian Doster replaced Fitzgibbon to begin the inning, and with his fourth pitch *beaned* Lonzo, who went down in a heap, just like the bucket of fudge did. Unlike the bucket, Lonzo eventually picked himself up after having a bit of a lie-down in the batter’s box. Replay showed that the ball hit ear flap of the helmet before glancing off his cheek as he turned his head, and he walked off the field unaided eventually, with Joey Christopher pinch-running as the tying run, stealing second base, and then coming around on productive outs by the 3-4 pair, evening the tallies a three. Brass struck out; Christopher would replace him in rightfield, while Jon Bean filled in at short and batting ninth.

The game went to extras with no further offense through nine, Rocco getting four outs for Portland and Murdock two more, but Ben Morris then cranked a homer off Elks closer Erik Swain to start the top 10th, Swain’s second inning of work. The next three went down without much fuss before Matt Walters entered the game and also gave up a leadoff jack to Alex Maldonado to blow the lead. With one out, PH Santiago Contreras reached on an infield single, went to third on another single by Danny Garcia, and Rafael Roldan’ sac fly to Christopher ended the ballgame… 5-4 Canadiens. Suriel (PH) 1-1, 2B;

The good news: Lonzo had a bruised cheekbone, but would not miss extended time. He was not in the lineup on Tuesday, however.

Game 2
POR: CF Morris – RF Christopher – 1B Tomlin – LF Brassfield – 2B White – C Arellano – SS Bean – 3B Suriel – P Alba
VAN: 3B C. Sullivan – LF D. Garcia – 1B J. Campos – CF D. Moreno – C A. Maldonado – 2B Roldan – RF C. Richardson – SS Spalding – P R. Mendoza

Alba was all over the place, which quickly gave the Elks a hoof up in the bottom 2nd with Damian Moreno drawing a leadoff walk before Maldonado singled. Chris Richardson hit an RBI double and Steven Spalding added a sac fly for a 2-0 lead. Tomlin singled home Ben Morris in the third inning to get half of that gap back, but the Raccoons again struggled to get base hits, and Alba struggled with all those runners on base all the time. The Elks had him out of the game after singles by Moreno and Roldan in the sixth inning, but Ricky H. offered no relief and gave up the runs on a Richardson double, 4-1.

We ended up with DeRose pitching by the seventh inning, and Moreno ended up with a 2-run homer off the punching bag; the second run was unearned though because Morris’ error had put Garcia on base. The Critters never got untracked against the Elks’ pitching and went down rather meekly. 6-1 Canadiens. Morris 2-4, 2B; Bean 1-2, BB; Ayala (PH) 1-1;

The Coons returned Armando Suriel (.167, 0 HR, 0 RBI) to the minors after this game and activated Joel Starr from the DL.

Yay, two first basemen on the roster again…!

Game 3
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Christopher – LF Brassfield – 2B White – 3B Bribiesca – P Riddle
VAN: 2B A. Castillo – LF D. Garcia – 1B J. Campos – RF C. Cardenas – 3B Whittington – SS Spalding – CF Magana – C Orphanos – P C. Miller

Joel Starr’s second at-bat of the year was a solo jack in the first for a 1-0 lead. Just too bad that Lonzo had doubled up Ben Morris and his leadoff single just ahead of that. Christopher’s leadoff double and two productive outs by Brass and White made it 2-0 in the second, but Morris’ single and stolen base in the third inning saw no support and he was left in scoring position. Riddle had a shutout going through five; he didn’t strike out anybody the first time through the order, but then rung up four Elks on the second try. A leadoff walk to Alex Castillo in the bottom 6th spelled trouble, though, and Garcia singled right after that. Campos found a double play, but Chad Cardenas snuck a 2-out RBI single up the middle to get the Elks on the board before Whittington grounded out to White.

But Riddle hung on and pitched eight innings of 5-hit ball, so outside of that one inning the Elks really didn’t get a whole damn lot. Neither did the Coons, though, who were still stuck on four base hits as the game entered the ninth inning and Swain was in again to face them in another non-save situation, retiring the 2-3-4 in order. The Coons then blew the 2-1 lead in a team effort in the ninth inning. Walters walked Cardenas, but Whittington reached on a 2-base throwing error by Bribiesca. Spalding’s sac fly tied the game, which then went to extras…

Brassfield and Mata hit singles in the tenth, but Swain struck out Tomlin batting in the #9 spot and the inning ended with no scoring success. Adam Middleton then got the ball for multiple innings… or just one third of an inning, by which time the Raccoons had managed to get swept. Middleton walked Rafael Roldan, Castillo reached on another error by a ******* third baseman (Bean), and Garcia socked a walkoff double. 3-2 Canadiens. Mata (PH) 1-1; Riddle 8.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K;

(gnashes teeth)

Raccoons (9-7) @ Condors (9-7) – April 21-23, 2062

It could hardly get worse for the Raccoons in Mexico, with the Condors being eighth in runs scored and third in runs allowed. They had mashed 14 homers in 16 games, but had stolen only one base, and had put together one of the worst defenses. They were also once again trying to end the Raccoons’ perpetual winning streak in the season series, which had now stretched to eight years with a 6-3 success for Portland in 2061.

Projected matchups:
Bobby Herrera (3-0, 1.88 ERA) vs. Marco Clemente (1-2, 4.50 ERA)
Nick Robinson (2-1, 3.20 ERA) vs. Vince Ellison (0-2, 3.15 ERA)
Chance Fox (0-0, 5.71 ERA) vs. Kodai Koga (2-1, 2.45 ERA)

All right-handers here from the Condors.

Game 1
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Christopher – LF Brassfield – 2B White – 3B Bribiesca – P B. Herrera
TIJ: CF Asencio – C Brann – SS C. Ramsey – 3B Frasher – LF E. Maldonado – RF Alf. Mendez – 1B Sturgeon – 2B Serrano – P M. Clemente

Bobby “Shut Up and Sit Down” Herrera struck out two and worked around a Mike Brann double in the first inning to keep working on his scoreless streak, and allowed a single to Jason Sturgeon in the second before getting a 1-0 lead in the top 3rd with hits for Bribiesca, whom he bunted to second, and an RBI single by Ben Morris.

The next run on the board came on a leadoff jack by Brassfield in the fifth inning, and BOY, did Brass need that blast, a 440-footer to right-center, considerably livening up that .167/.297/.222 slash line of his through 16 games of this season (it gave him a full 69 points of slug), and the score was up to 2-0. Alf Mendez drew a leadoff walk from Herrera in the bottom 5th, but was doubled up by Sturgeon. Top 6th, Morris got on base, advanced on Lonzo’s grounder, and the Condors walked Starr intentionally. Angel Perez shrugged and hit an RBI single anyway, 3-0. Clemente walked Christopher before Brass killed the inning with a 6-4-3 double play. Clemente then whiffed against Herrera, Bobby H.’s ninth strikeout of the game, to begin the bottom 6th. Mario Asencio singled, then was caught stealing. Brann flew out to complete six.

Alas, all good things must end, and so did Bobby Herrera’s shutout streak in the seventh inning. His pitch count was up there anyway – 76 through six – but hits by Casey Ramsey and Elmer Maldonado pushed the Condors’ first run across with one out in the bottom 7th. Maldonado advanced on a passed ball, but was stranded when Bobby rung up Mendez and Sturgeon flew out to Christopher on the edge of the warning track. Herrera got one more out from Franklin Serrano in the bottom 8th before leaving on 94 pitches when left-handed batter Scott Moore was announced as pinch-hitter. The Coons brought in Rocco, who hadn’t pitched in three days, in a double switch (Tomlin for Starr at first) with some side-eye on a 5-out save after Walters’ double-abortive (yet sabotaged) outings in Elk City. He got Moore and Asencio without issue to keep the 3-1 lead alive into the ninth, then retired three more in order in the ninth inning to put the game away. 3-1 Critters. Morris 2-3, BB, RBI; B. Herrera 7.1 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 10 K, W (4-0); Rocco 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, SV (2);

Bobby Herrera had put together 25 shutout innings in total: the last inning he pitched in the rough start against the Loggers, the two shutouts, and then six more to start this game.

The Condors struck a deal between games, acquiring 1B Andy Metz (.261, 0 HR, 0 RBI) from the Thunder for outfielder Bobby Fish (.310, 0 HR, 2 RBI) and #112 prospect SP Danny Baca.

Game 2
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Christopher – LF Brassfield – 2B White – 3B Bribiesca – P Robinson
TIJ: LF Alf. Mendez – CF Cardwell – SS C. Ramsey – 1B Metz – 3B Frasher – C Brann – RF E. Maldonado – 2B Archuleta – P Ellison

Metz immediately got his first RBI with the Condors when he singled in Casey Ramsey and his 2-out double in the bottom 1st. Eric Frasher also singled before Brann struck out against Robinson, who, even while the Condors did not get any more runs any time soon, remained very hittable throughout this start. The Condors were just hitting in bad luck. High flies right to outfielders, and sharp grounders right to infielders, and one liner into Lonzo’s mitten where he didn’t even have to move. At the same time the Raccoons weren’t doing ******* anything. Brass hit a 1-out double at one point, was stranded, and that was about it for runners in scoring position for the Coons before Ramon Archuleta finally came through and put the game away with a 2-run homer off Robinson in the seventh inning.

…and then Ellison loaded the bases with nobody out in the eighth inning. Bribiesca singled, Mata drew a walk in the pitcher’s spot, and Morris hit another single. This brought up Lonzo, who was 0-for-11 since getting hit in the snout in Elk City. On the other paw, sending somebody to pinch-hit for Lonzo felt so wrong. At least he hadn’t racked up any strikeouts in that 0-11 stretch, so maybe he was due one here! He went into the box, ran a full count, then hit a sac fly to Chad Cardwell. It was enough to knock out Ellison – yay! – but Justin Cullum then got a double play grounder from Starr to end the inning – boo. The Condors then also had three on and nobody out in the bottom 8th, as the 4-5-6 reached without resistance from Adam Middleton. Ricky H. replaced him against Elmer Maldonado, but was met by the switch-hitter Sturgeon instead. He got a pop to short, then gave up a sac fly to Archuleta before getting another pop to get out of the inning. The Coons had no rally in them in the ninth. 4-1 Condors. Morris 2-4; Bribiesca 2-3;

Game 3
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Christopher – LF Ayala – 2B Bean – 3B Bribiesca – P C. Fox
TIJ: CF Asencio – RF S. Moore – 1B Metz – 3B Frasher – C Brann – LF Alf. Mendez – SS Archuleta – 2B Serrano – P Koga

Kodai Koga walked Lonzo, who stole second and reached third when Brann’s throw got away from Archuleta, then came in for an unearned first-inning run on Joel Starr’s long sac fly to left. Chance Fox looked like a blowout waiting to happen early on, giving up three sharp hits and nicking Metz the first time through the lineup, but the Condors stranded a pair in the first and hit into a double play with Serrano in the second to let him off easy. Asencio then hit a leadoff single in the third, but was caught stealing.

Angel Perez opened the fourth with a single to left. Christopher fanned, but Ayala got his first RBI with a triple into the left-center gap and extended the lead to 2-0, which became 3-0 after Bean’s sac fly to Moore, and 4-0 when Bribiesca humped a ball over the fence by mere inches. Angel Perez offered a leadoff homer in the sixth to get to 5-0. Christopher walked, stole second, and scored on Bean’s 1-out single, while the Condors just couldn’t topple Chance Fox, who ran a shutout through six with an elevated pitch count and with some more defensive heroics in the middle innings, with two more double plays turned behind him and with Christopher chasing down two flies in the gap. Fox then worked his way around a Bribiesca error in the seventh inning as his clumsy presence kept vexing the Condors.

Top 8th, and southpaw Aaron Sloan began his appearance with straight walks to Perez, Brass, and Ayala to load the bags with nobody out. Bean lined out to Serrano, Bribiesca popped out to short, and the Raccoons – up by six – did not bat for Foxie Brown since the Condors had lefty sticks up to begin the bottom 8th. He struck out, but then also struck out Asencio and Metz in a 1-2-3 eighth, but that would be all for him after 112 pitches, with at least the first half of those eight shutout innings having been a total mess. Lonzo reached on a Mendez error in the ninth, then scored when Starr hit a 420-foot chunk of Sloan for two extra runs. The Raccoons then tempted fate by putting Justin DeRose into an 8-0 game with just three outs needed. The Condors actually poked themselves out in just four pitches. 8-0 Furballs! Perez 3-4, BB, HR, RBI; Bean 2-3, 2 RBI; Bribiesca 2-4, HR, RBI; C. Fox 8.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 6 K, W (1-0);

In other news

April 14 – The Bayhawks beat the Falcons, 2-1 in 17 innings. A combined 32 runners are stranded on base between the two teams, and the winning run is driven in with a walkoff single by San Francisco reliever Bill Goda (1-0, 0.00 ERA) with the bench long depleted.
April 15 – The Miners beat the Cyclones, 3-2 in 16 innings.
April 16 – Boston SP Jayden Craddock (2-1, 4.74 ERA) throws a 1-hit shutout against the Canadiens, whiffing six in beating them 6-0. VAN RF/CF Damian Moreno (.237, 1 HR, 5 RBI) has the only single for the Canadiens.
April 16 – The Thunder will be without RF/LF Eric Whitlow (.167, 0 HR, 3 RBI) for at least a month after the 34-year-old suffered an oblique strain.
April 18 – 39-year-old DAL SP Austin Wilcox (1-1, 5.31 ERA) wins his 200th career game in an 11-4 shootout against the Gold Sox.
April 18 – After three abortive starts, TOP SP Zach Stewart (0-1, 14.09 ERA) is revealed to miss the rest of the season with a torn rotator cuff.
April 19 – The Warriors erase a 5-4 deficit against the Scorpions in the bottom of the ninth inning before SFW 3B/SS Ben Wilken (.234, 1 HR, 7 RBI) ends the game with a walkoff grand slam, 9-5.
April 19 – Walkoff success notwithstanding, the Warriors’ closer Ryan Dow (0-0, 0.00 ERA) will miss four months at least with a torn rotator cuff.
April 20 – Knights C Marco Nieto (.327, 1 HR, 3 RBI) has put together a cross-season 20-game hitting streak with a single in the Knights’ 5-4 loss to the Falcons.
April 22 – Atlanta flips OF/1B Bobby Ellwood (.294, 0 HR, 8 RBI) to the Rebels for LF Juan del Toro (.310, 0 HR, 3 RBI).
April 23 – The Loggers are a single by rookie catcher J.P. Jack (.316, 0 HR, 1 RBI) away from getting no-hit by the Aces’ Bill Grau (2-0, 1.50 ERA) and MR Jordan Juarez (0-3, 12.86 ERA, 3 SV), as Vegas wins the game, 5-0.

FL Player of the Week (2): NAS OF/1B Tony Roman (.364, 4 HR, 11 RBI), whacking .450 (9-20) with 3 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week (2): MIL C Tristan Waker (.529, 2 HR, 11 RBI), hitting .526 (10-19) with 2 HR, 10 RBI

FL Player of the Week (3): DAL OF Tyler Wharton (.411, 3 HR, 13 RBI), swatting .423 (11-26) with 3 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week (3): SFB OF Scott Laws (.464, 0 HR, 10 RBI), plonking .552 (16-29) with 1 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Bobby Herrera not getting Player of the Week in a week in which he threw two shutouts is outrageous and I am going to take the matter to League HQ personally when we go to New York next time!

With the exception of that dreadful no-show in Elk City, the team has been playing decent ball recently, even though the offense is very spotty and we have several players that are expected to do better batting around/under .200 right now (cough) Lonzo (cough).

Oh, shut up, Cristiano! Lonzo’s BABIP is .190! Why don’t you instead figure out a way to make the balls he hits finally ******* fall in!?

Next week: another day off on Monday, then the final stint of this awfully long road trip to Oklahoma City. We finish the month with a home set against the Loggers.

Fun Fact: Jack Kozak and Malik Crumble have .900+ OPS a dozen games into the AAA season.

Just in case Brassfield isn’t gonna turn it around.

Yeah right, like the Raccoons will ever discard a priced former prospect that debuted at age 21 and was a lot of fun since then. His BABIP is .213, so maybe there’s a way to turn this around in the next 20 games. Or 50 games.

Yes, Cristiano, this silly team once waited five years for Matt Pruitt to turn it back around. – Because he then went to Boston and turned it around!!

Fun Fact (Bonus Round): All four Nicks on the payroll are free agents this fall, but Brassfield is not.

And three of them are on the DL.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (11-8) @ Thunder (9-10) – April 25-27, 2062

Stop four of four on the long road trip was Oklahoma City, after an off day on Monday. The Thunder were in ties for tenth place in both runs scored and runs allowed after 19 games, with a -22 run differential (Critters: +5). With Mark Jacobs, Omar Lira, and Eric Whitlow they had also already piled up an impressive amount of regulars on the DL. We had lost last year’s duel with the Thunder, six games to three.

Projected matchups:
Angel Alba (0-2, 5.74 ERA) vs. Aaron Harris (2-1, 3.96 ERA)
Tyler Riddle (1-1, 2.96 ERA) vs. Ernesto Rios (1-0, 5.25 ERA)
Bobby Herrera (4-0, 1.72 ERA) vs. Eric Barnes (0-3, 10.50 ERA)

With Jacobs just having dropped from the rotation to the DL, there was a bit of flux going on here. We did not expect to see any left-handers in this series, though.

Game 1
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Christopher – LF Brassfield – 2B White – 3B Bribiesca – P Alba
OCT: CF B. Fish – 1B I. Stone – 2B Spehar – RF R. Hummel – C Preston – LF D. Guzman – SS E. Ortiz – 3B Medlock – P Aa. Harris

Harris retired the first 11 Critters he faced, which already included a 45-minute rain delay, which didn’t help Angel Alba unclench in any way. The youngster gave up a run on Steve Preston and Edwin Ortiz singles in the second inning, then after the delay a 2-run homer to Randy Hummel in the third inning for the Thunder to take a 3-0 lead at a time when the Portlanders were still searching for first base. This was already most of what there was to tell about this game. Alba was gone after five innings, while Harris remained certainly dominant through six innings, and didn’t give up a run until the eighth when Jim White lobbed a leadoff double to left and was scored on two groundouts by Bribiesca and Tomlin. No further Raccoons reached base in the game, and they went down very meekly indeed. 3-1 Thunder. Mata (PH) 1-1; DeRose 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Bribiesca (.292, 1 HR, 1 RBI) went on waivers after this game to make room for Nick Fox coming off the DL, while Nick Nye started a rehab assignment with the Alley Cats and was expected to do the maximum allowable 20-day course down there.

Game 2
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Christopher – LF Brassfield – 2B White – 3B N. Fox – P Riddle
OCT: 2B Spehar – C Mowery – SS McNeal – 3B Medlock – LF Torrence – RF R. Hummel – 1B J. Caballero – CF B. Fish – P E. Rios

First time through, Starr hit a single, and that was about that; meanwhile the Raccoons’ starter just loved to put a Thunder on base with no outs or one out and then made it a whole Riddle about which odd way he might strand him. In the second, it was a double play that Jorge Caballero hit into, in the third a lineout to Morris in somewhat shallow center that shooed the runner back to third base, and in the fourth luck finally ran out when Josh McNeal reached on an error by Starr to begin the inning and Stephen Medlock socked a double to left after that. Ethan Torrence hit a sac fly for an unearned 1-0 lead, but Riddle kept Medlock in scoring position with a pop and a K.

Jim White had a single for Portland in the fifth inning, and that was it for offense all the way to the stretch. Riddle worked himself up with all the runners and only went six innings, with Murdock doing away with the 7-8-9 batters in order in the bottom 7th, still keeping the score at 1-0 Thunder. Rios retired the Coons in order in the eighth, and Middleton put Ryan Spehar and Ian Stone on the corners with singles in the bottom 8th before Ricky H. came in and got a double play grounder to bugger out of the inning from Steve Preston, batting for Medlock. Rios remained undeterred, retired Ayala, Morris, and Tomlin in order in the ninth inning, and got away with an unearned 2-hit shutout. 1-0 Thunder.

Ah, we have reached *that* part of the season. Y’know, that part that nobody likes, where they all play like imbeciles…

Desperate lineup shakeup on Thursday, more “just because” and less with any sense or system to it.

Game 3
POR: CF Morris – RF Christopher – LF Mata – 1B Starr – C Arellano – SS Bean – 2B White – 3B N. Fox – P B. Herrera
OCT: CF B. Fish – 1B I .Stone – 2B Spehar – C Preston – LF D. Guzman – SS E. Ortiz – RF Meister – 3B Medlock – P E. Barnes

Starr and Arellano opened the second inning with singles for some ill-advised excitement before there miserable outs kept them on base. Instead, Bobby Herrera got bleached for four runs in the bottom 2nd, starting with a leadoff walk to Danny Guzman. Edwin Ortiz singled him to third and he scored on Zach Meister’s groundout, but the real depressing event was Barnes’ 2-out RBI single, swiftly followed by Bobby Fish’s homer to right that made it 4-0.

Credits paid to Bobby H. after the game were limited to the five shutout innings he added *after* he got bombed in the second inning, during which is own team still couldn’t find a way to pull their fuzzy heads out of their own equally fuzzy bum holes and the score remained 4-0 through seven innings. When that changed in the eighth it was merely down to Ryan Sullivan remaining useless and giving up a run on two walks and an RBI single for Ortiz. Arellano got nicked and Brassfield got a single in the ninth to get Barnes out of the game, but the team was still shut out for the second consecutive day when Dave Lister restored order and retired Angel Perez and Felix Ayala to complete an utterly miserable sweep. 5-0 Thunder. Arellano 2-3; Brassfield (PH) 1-1;

…and suddenly we were in fifth place and ahead of only the Loggers.

The Loggers…!

Raccoons (11-11) vs. Loggers (9-12) – April 28-30, 2062

The Loggers had won three in a row so we were as dead as disco, basically. Up 2-1 in the season series, the Raccoons, who had suddenly forgotten how to play baseball, were up against the #5 offense and #7 pitching in the league, and despite being three games under .500 and in last place, the Loggers had a +8 run differential. Woe is us.

Projected matchups:
Nick Robinson (2-2, 3.42 ERA) vs. Jake Frensley (1-1, 5.49 ERA)
Chance Fox (1-0, 3.91 ERA) vs. Jesus Hinojosa (1-3, 3.73 ERA)
Angel Alba (0-3, 5.66 ERA) vs. Larry Wilson (2-1, 3.90 ERA)

No southpaws this week! The Loggers had Phil Reder, Roberto Arcos, Danny Miller and pitcher Girolamo Pizzichini on the DL, giving an opportunity to 24-year-old Frensley, who would make his third ABL start, and who looked like he could really use the minimum salary that accompanied playing in the big leagues to finally buy himself a cheeseburger to combat the starvation.

Joe-Chris was hitting 2-for-27 entering the series. It was 2-for-21 for White, and a baffling 0-for-22 with NO STRIKEOUTS for Lonzo…!!

Game 1
MIL: CF Franks – LF Garmon – 1B D. Robles – SS F. Carrera – RF Milian – 3B Benitez – 2B M. Tovar – C Jack – P Frensley
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – LF Mata – RF Brassfield – 2B White – 3B Bean – P Robinson

I was kinda hoping the Raccoons would go out there and just simply kill that rookie after finally getting to sleep in their own baskets for the first time in two weeks, but nah. Instead Robinson gave up two singles to Scott Franks and Corey Garmon to begin the game, but kept them on base with three straight outs to end the top 1st. In the second, he gave up another two singles to Mike Tovar and J.P. Jack, then an RBI single and the first career hit overall to Frensley, and then still milled around long enough to give up a bases-clearing double to Dave Robles with two outs. The only runner Frensley allowed the first time through was Bean, who got decked and then was left stranded in the bottom 3rd.

Robinson and the blood stains the Loggers had beaten out of him lingered into the sixth inning, when he put another pair of runners on base which Middleton then conceded to score. At this point Frensley was still pitching a no-hitter that was only broken up on Jon Bean’s leadoff single in the bottom 6th. That remained the only base hit the Raccoons got against Frensley, and their last base runner overall. 6-0 Loggers. Bean 1-2;

Lonzo: 0-26 with 0 K

At this point it was clear that it was not as much an issue with the players as the baseball gods having a good old giggle up there. (shakes fist skywards)

Game 2
MIL: CF Franks – LF Garmon – 1B D. Robles – SS F. Carrera – RF Milian – 3B Benitez – 2B Wall – C Jack – P Hinojosa
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Brassfield – LF Ayala – 2B Bean – 3B N. Fox – P C. Fox

Tony Benitez legged out a 2-out roller on the infield for a 45-foot single with the bases loaded in the first inning, and that was the first base knock for Milwaukee because Chance Fudgypaws had loaded them up entirely with walks (Garmon, Robles) and drillings (Fidel Carrera). Josh Wall struck out to leave the bases loaded, which gave Fox three K in the inning, but no less ire from his GM.

The Raccoons’ futility run ended in the bottom 1st with Ben Morris’ tripling to right and getting home on a Lonzo single, which at least kept the rotten run at 0-26, and – as a bonus – tied the ******* ballgame. There was no reasoning with Chance Fox in this game however. He needed 53 pitches through TWO innings, and was behind 2-1 after the latter one, allowing a single to the ******* opposing pitcher, another walk to Corey Garmon, and then an RBI double to Robles before Carrera grounded out to Bean to leave a pair in scoring position. (shakes head while nervously unscrewing a bottle of Capt’n Coma)

Fox was gone after five, but not without serving up a 2-run homer to former useless Raccoons infielder Tony Benitez that ran the score to 4-1. The game dragged on and the bottle drained itself at an alarming pace – Shoo! Honeypaws! Willlllou geehhaway frommmm-y lllll juice!? (head sinks into the nearest pillow) – but the Raccoons would actually put runners on the corners (!!) with one out in the bottom 7th when Brass and Ayala hit staggering back-to-back singles. Bean hit a sac fly and Nick Fox popped out, so that was that.

Bottom 8th, and Jim White, who had arrived in a double switch with Middleton in the previous half-inning, hit a leadoff single in the #9 spot. Morris flew out to center before Luckless Lonzo returned, the spill up/down to 0-for-28 and still with no strikeouts. And he FINALLY chucked right through the knot that was binding him with a clean single to left…! Huzzah! Of course the Coons still didn’t score no ******* run in the inning because Starr’s fly to center was snatched by Scott Franks on the slide, and Perez grounded out easily. The Loggers got a run off Middleton instead in the ninth, and the Raccoons lost their fifth straight. 5-2 Loggers. White 1-1;

Maud, do you think Adam Valdes will sell the team?

Maybe with the proceeds, he could buy a REAL baseball team!

Game 3
MIL: CF Franks – 2B Lange – SS F. Carrera – 1B D. Robles – C Waker – RF Milian – LF Whetstine – 3B Benitez – P Ruggiero
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – RF Christopher – 1B Tomlin – LF Brassfield – C Arellano – 2B White – 3B N. Fox – P Alba

Ralph Lange, Fidel Carrera, and Tristan Waker ticked singles off Alba in the first inning as Milwaukee took a 1-0 lead right away. That 1-0 score stood for a good long while, which was perhaps surprising; not because you would have expected the Raccoons to do anything against Bob Ruggiero (3-2, 3.51 ERA), which they – for the record – didn’t, but because you would have expected Alba to get whacked around some more. As it was, Alba pitched all the way to the stretch without allowing another run and while conceding just two more base hits. Alas, the Raccoons were … oh my. Lonzo singled again in the bottom 1st and was doubled off by Christopher. Brass at one point hit a double and died on base. Morris hit another double but was left on with Lonzo’s groundout and Christopher whiffing, and by then it was already the eighth inning and the Raccoons had completely hibernated through another ******* ballgame. When we tried to knock the rust off Matt Walters in the ninth inning, he threw one pitch, then immediately drew attention from the trainer and left the game with Luis Silva. DeRose finished that inning, and the Raccoons got a leadoff single from Forbes Tomlin to left against Ruggiero to start the home half of the ninth. Brass struck out, and Joel Starr batted for Arellano and socked a ball to deep left – but it was caught on the warning track by Chad Whetstine. Jon Bean batted for White, and he also hit a ball to deep left…! – and that was also caught on the warning track by Chad Whetstine. 1-0 Loggers. Christopher 2-4, 2B; Alba 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 7 K, L (0-4);

In other news

April 24 – Denver’s SP Aaron Sciuto (1-2, 4.43 ERA) 3-hits the Capitals in an 8-0 shutout.
April 24 – Falcons 3B Chad O’Donnell (.232, 3 HR, 7 RBI) is expected to miss the rest of the season with a fracture in his kneecap.
April 25 – The Stars and Miners remain tied at five into the 12th inning when the Stars explode for another five runs all at once and get away with a 10-5 win.
April 26 - Atlanta C Marco Nieto (.325, 2 HR, 4 RBI) has his hitting streak up to 25 games with a double in a 6-3 win against the Indians.
April 27 – New York would be without 1B/RF/LF Aubrey Austin (.207, 2 HR, 8 RBI) for at least three weeks after the 36-year-old suffered an oblique strain.
April 28 – BOS SP Jason Brenize (3-1, 2.13 ERA) 2-hits the Crusaders in a 7-0 shutout, whiffing seven.
April 28 – ATL C Marco Nieto (.325, 2 HR, 8 RBI) sees his hitting streak end at 26 games after going 0-for-3 in a 6-3 loss to the Bayhawks in Atlanta.
April 29 – Knights SP Joe Napier (2-1, 2.65 ERA) pitches a 2-hit shutout against the Bayhawks for a 2-0 win.

FL Player of the Week: NAS OF Isaiah Birth (.453, 2 HR, 11 RBI), hitting .667 (14-21) with 2 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: ATL 2B/SS Ken Sowell (.302, 6 HR, 20 RBI), batting .476 (10-21) with 2 HR, 7 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: TOP INF Alex de los Santos (.382, 6 HR, 24 RBI)
CL Hitter of the Month: SFB 2B/LF Armando Montoya (.351, 8 HR, 30 RBI)
FL Pitcher of the Month: DAL SP Alex Quevedo (4-0, 0.91 ERA)
CL Pitcher of the Month: VAN CL Erik Swain (3-0, 1.20 ERA, 7 SV)
FL Rookie of the Month: DEN C Lorenzo Marquez (.322, 6 HR, 26 RBI)
CL Rookie of the Month: IND RF/LF/1B Bryan Johnston (.448, 2 HR, 8 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

(weeping noises from underneath the pillows on the trusty brown couch, with only Honeypaws’ tail sticking out from beneath the cushions)

Fun Fact: What was more impressive: Bobby Herrera’s 25-inning scoreless streak, or the entire ******* team not being able to pull a single run out of their collective tushes for *28* innings.

(opens snout)

(closes snout)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (11-14) vs. Crusaders (13-11) – May 1-4, 2062

After a week in which the Raccoons scored all of three runs – (starts to shake and shiver uncontrollably) – … wowzers. (blinks) … Well, after that week, even with the Crusaders in for four games, it couldn’t even get worse anymore. Even if the entire ******* ballpark crumbled and collapsed onto the dimwits in the brown shirts, at least that would allow us to have a clean slate. The Crusaders were second in runs scored and tenth in runs allowed, but it wasn’t like the Raccoons knew how to handle a bat. Last year we won the season series 14-4, but last year was a ******* long time ago.

Projected matchups:
Tyler Riddle (1-2, 2.37 ERA) vs. Nate Mickler (1-2, 7.17 ERA)
Bobby Herrera (4-1, 2.35 ERA) vs. Ben Seiter (2-2, 3.18 ERA)
Nick Robinson (2-3, 4.50 ERA) vs. Erik Lee (3-2, 3.52 ERA)
Chance Fox (1-1, 4.45 ERA) vs. Joel Luera (3-1, 2.89 ERA)

Only right-handers. As if it mattered. Aubrey Austin and Omar Sanchez were out injured for New York, but I was confident they’d scratch out a run or two without them.

Game 1
NYC: C P. Gonzales – 3B B. Anderson – SS Almaguer – CF Branch – RF Zeiher – 1B McLaughlin – LF A. Romero – 2B V. Velez – P Mickler
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Christopher – LF Brassfield – 2B White – 3B Bean – P Riddle

The Crusaders had some atrocious defense going on between a 38-year-old Bobby Anderson on his last leg and a 33-year-old catcher in Pedro Almaguer that had terminally bad knees and couldn’t spend three hours in the crouch anymore, so they were trying him out at short, to reviews that were normally reserved for snuff movies. The Raccoons went up 2-0 in the first inning, but that was more down to Mickler, who walked Morris to get going, then allowed RBI knocks to Starr and Brassfield, with another walk to Perez in between. The hits were to center and didn’t have anything to do with the left-side defense, where Jon Bean made a throwing error early on that looked way worse than what the New York octogenarians might amount to under pressure. Lonzo had a single and a stolen base in the third inning, but was left on base, and Bean made ANOTHER error on Jared McLaughlin’s grounder in the fourth. White and Bean had 1-out singles in the bottom 4th, and then Bobby Anderson came through with a 2-base, run-scoring throwing error on Riddle’s bunt. Age had robbed Anderson of his first (and second and third) step and the bare-handed throw escaped the field to extend the Coons’ lead (!) to 3-0. Morris added an RBI single, but was caught stealing, and Lonzo grounded out to Almaguer to end the inning.

Mickler hung around until he gave up a leadoff triple to Jim White in the bottom 6th, plus a sac fly to Bean for a 5-0 tally, but Riddle kept trucking through eight, determined to get a W into the books after six straight losses. He scattered five hits for no runs, the last knock being a pinch-hit single by Bill Quinteros in the eighth inning – so, after a couple of years apart, the Indians’ longtime infield corner duo as reunited to watch the sun set on their careers in New York. Not sure how much sense that made for a team wanting to contend, though. Ryan Sullivan got the ninth inning and immediately exploded, allowing a single to Almaguer, a double to Sean Zeiher, then a 3-run homer to McLaughlin, and was yoinked for Rocco, who got the second out of the inning on Alex Romero’s pop, then loaded the bases by fudging all of Victor Velez, Matt McLaren, and Pedro Gonzales on base. Bobby Anderson then gave a ball a good sock to left, but only to the warning track and Brassfield was there to catch the bloody thing. 5-3 Raccoons. Morris 3-4, BB, RBI; Perez 2-4; Brassfield 2-4, RBI; White 2-4, 3B; Bean 1-2, RBI; Tomlin (PH) 1-1; Riddle 8.0 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 7 K, W (2-2) and 1-2;

Not sure what was wrong with Ryan Sullivan, but if he continues like this, he’ll get turned into sausage.

This was with Matt Walters still out with a mystery injury and Rocco almost blowing a 2-out save, so who was our best reliever for Tuesday? Does anybody have Preston Pinkerton’s number!? Maud!!??

Game 2
NYC: LF Weir – C McLaren – SS Almaguer – CF Branch – 1B McLaughlin – RF Zeiher – 3B B. Anderson – 2B V. Velez – P Seiter
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Christopher – LF Brassfield – 2B White – 3B N. Fox – P B. Herrera

Seiter retired the Coons in order in the first two innings of an anticipated pitchers’ duel in which Bobby Herrera was taken deep by Sean Zeiher in the second, so New York had the early 1-0 lead. White and Nick Fox (entering hitting .043) then went to the corners with leadoff singles (and a balk in between) in the bottom 3rd. Herrera swung and hit into a fielder’s choice with no advance for White, so that went well, but Ben Morris drew a walk to fill the bases for Lonzo, the old .172 menace. Both Lonzo and Starr (.167) popped out to Anderson, and the bases remained loaded. Anderson then singled home Tommy Branch and his leadoff walk in the fourth, in the bottom of which another pair was in scoring position as Joe-Chris walked and Brass doubled to left-center. A run scored on White’s groundout up the middle, with Brass to third base, and the Crusaders opted for the .133 hitting pitcher rather than all .083 of Nick Fox, and walked the latter with intent. Bobby H. sneered, ticked the first pitch he got to centerfield for a game-tying RBI single, and Fox, equally offended, made for third base, and when Branch’s throw to Anderson got away from the near-legless third baseman, scampered home to score the go-ahead run. Morris’ fly to left ended the inning.

The 3-2 score persisted to the seventh inning, where Bobby H. got within one out of reaching the stretch, but then walked Velez and gave up a 2-out single to Seiter before departing in shame. Ricky H. was barely any help, walking the bags full with Hector Weir before getting McLaren to strike out and strand an entire Crusade on the bases. When after that James Murdock retired New York on seven pitches in the eighth inning, we got a bit greedy and sent him back out for the ninth rather than Middleton. He walked Zeiher before getting Anderson to third and Velez on strikes, but then Bill Quinteros showed up in the box as pinch-hitter again, and the Raccoons went to Rocco after all. Rocco walked Quinteros, then another pinch-hitter in Pedro Gonzales on four pitches, and the bags were full again. McLaren was not pinch-hit for, and fell to 0-2 before cracking a deep fly to right that fell for a bases-clearing double. Almaguer then grounded out, but I was already busy contemplating murder again. The Raccoons didn’t get past a Carlos Mata walk against Jason Rhodes in the bottom 9th. 5-3 Crusaders. Brassfield 2-4, 2B; N. Fox 2-3, BB;

Game 3
NYC: LF Deeley – 3B B. Anderson – SS Almaguer – CF Branch – RF Zeiher – 1B McLaughlin – C P. Gonzales – 2B V. Velez – P E. Lee
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – RF Christopher – LF Brassfield – 1B Tomlin – C Arellano – 2B White – 3B N. Fox – P Robinson

Both sides had a single the first time through, but the Raccoons would get straight 2-out singles from their 1-2-3 batters in the bottom 3rd with Christopher driving home Morris with the game’s first run. Lonzo and Joe-Chris then took off for a double steal, the ball got away from the Crusaders on a bad throw by Gonzales, and Lonzo went on to score from second base. Brassfield, who had the first single for the team in this game, walked, but Tomlin grounded out to end the inning.

It was also beginning to rain here, and it rained pretty hard pretty quickly and a rain delay was called just before Erik Lee could throw the first pitch of the bottom 4th. When play resumed after 45 minutes of driving rain, Lee immediately gave up straight hits to Arellano, White (who drove in the catcher), and Nick Fox. Robinson hit a sac fly, Morris walked, and Lonzo killed Lee with an RBI single to center before Corey Leonard restored order. And Robinson? He had thrown 48 pitches before the rain delay, so we sent him back out there with a 5-0 lead, but watched him with eagle eyes. He struck out Zeiher and McLaughlin before walking Gonzales in the fifth, but got a grounder to first from Velez to complete five and qualify for the potential W. Unfazed by nature’s moods, Robinson would carry on and pitched seven shutout innings for only one base knock allowed before reaching 91 pitches and not being brought back after the stretch.

Lonzo doubled off Pedro Mendoza to begin the bottom 7th and scored on a Brass single to get to 6-0. That seemed big enough of a lead to ask Justin DeRose for six outs, which didn’t end that well. Romero whacked his first career homer off him, a 2-piece with two outs, although a Lonzo error was also involved with that and made the runs unearned. DeRose then put Bobby Anderson on base in the ninth inning and was yanked two outs later for Ricky H. to get Zeiher for a grounder and the final out. 6-2 Critters. Lavorano 3-4, 2B, RBI; Brassfield 2-3, BB, RBI; Robinson 7.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 7 K, W (3-3);

Matt Walters finally went on the DL on Thursday with a diagnosis of a triceps strain, which would render him out until the end of June, probably. All going to plan here. 27-year-old Adam Harris was recalled from AAA, which was a hint that Rocco was probably going to close most situations from here, so an additional left-hander was welcome.

Game 4
NYC: C P. Gonzales – 3B B. Anderson – SS Almaguer – CF Branch – RF Zeiher – 1B McLaughlin – LF Weir – 2B V. Velez – P Luera
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Christopher – LF Brassfield – 2B Bean – 3B N. Fox – P C. Fox

Jon Bean began the bottom 3rd by getting plunked and ended it with a groundout to Velez, so things occurred in between. Nick Fox singled, and the pair was bunted into scoring position before Morris’ RBI single put the first run on the board. Morris stole second and Gonzales made another throwing error, conceding Fox’ run from third base. Morris scored on Lonzo’s single, and Lonzo went to third base on Starr’s single, then scored on Angel Perez’ groundout. Christopher walked, Brass hit an RBI double, and that made it 5-0 before Bean left on a pair with his groundout.

Chance Fox had a no-hitter going through five innings, whiffing six. Chance Fox also managed somehow to drill Pedro Gonzales twice. The second time, in the sixth inning, made the Crusaders angry enough to finally start hitting him. Anderson singled and another single by Branch would get New York on the board with two outs before Zeiher grounded out to second to leave on a pair. Chance Fox, impeded by a Nick Fox error, would complete one more inning, but reached over 100 pitches by the stretch and would not be brought back after that. Almaguer homered off Sullivan in the eighth to narrow the score to 5-2, making it a save chance for Middleton, of all people, in the ninth inning, but he sat down the Crusaders in order, which was all I could ask for anymore at this point. 5-2 Critters. Morris 2-4, 2B, RBI; C. Fox 7.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, W (2-1);

Raccoons (14-15) @ Warriors (15-12) – May 5-7, 2062

The Raccoons had their worst all-time record against the Warriors, despite having won the last three series, each time two games to one, against the team from the FL West. This year they ranked second in the division on pitching, allowing the second-fewest runs while scoring the third-fewest for a +17 run differential (Raccoons: -6). Longtime Warriors infielder Mike DeFusco and reliever Ryan Dow were notable injury absences for the Warriors.

Projected matchups:
Angel Alba (0-4, 4.55 ERA) vs. Jonathan Vale (0-3, 4.35 ERA)
Tyler Riddle (2-2, 1.88 ERA) vs. Kenny Donnelly (2-1, 2.05 ERA)
Bobby Herrera (4-1, 2.40 ERA) vs. Ricardo Montoya (2-2, 2.84 ERA)

There were no southpaw starters on this staff, but four lefty relievers, three of whom, funnily enough, were former big-league starters: Ed Nadeau, Andres Lopez, and Ethan Alvey.

We might be shortening Nick Nye’s rehab assignment to AAA. He was hitting .421 down there in 10 games, felt a self-proclaimed “fine”, and we needed every shred of help up here.

Lonzo had a day off on Friday.

Game 1
POR: CF Morris – RF Christopher – 1B Starr – LF Brassfield – C Perez – 2B White – SS Bean – 3B N. Fox – P Alba
SFW: RF A. Barnes – 3B B. Wilken – 1B M. Medina – LF Kaniewski – CF Oldfield – 2B McColgin – C F. Rivera – SS Gut – P Vale

Morris singled and scored on Christopher’s double to begin the game, and Starr walked, but the 4-5-6 batters went all “uuuh” and “ooooh” and nothing else happened. Sioux Falls tied the game in the bottom 2nd with a leadoff triple for veteran John Kaniewski, who then scored on Cory Oldfield’s single to center. When Morris hit a leadoff double in the third inning, he was left stranded, but when Oldfield hit a 2-out double to right in the bottom 4th with nobody out, Angel Perez threw away William McColgin’s grounder for two bases and the go-ahead run, and another double to left by Felix Rivera and Dave Gut’s RBI single to left escalated the score to 4-1, all three runs being unearned, before Vale popped out to end the miserable inning.

Top 5th, and singles by Alba (!), Christopher, and Starr loaded the bases with one out. Brass then sent a quick grounder to Ben Wilken, and 5-4-3 went the inning. Instead, the Warriors dispatched Alba with three more hits in the bottom of the inning. Alex Barnes hit a single, and after Wilken flew out, Miguel Medina and John Kaniewski went yard back-to-back and Alba left the game down 7-1. Those three runs were all earned…

Adam Harris collected five outs from there in his first appearance of his seventh (!) major league season, and yet he had fewer than 70 career innings. Top 7th, Vale nicked Nick Fox, and Morris answered with a 2-run *blast* to shorten the score to 7-3. Starr also drove a long fly, but had it picked right at the wall by Kaniewski. The eighth was uneventful with Rocco pitching in a losing game and allowing a hit to Oldfield before seeing McColgin hit into a double play. Lonzo then batted for a hitless Bean to begin the ninth inning, unpacked a homer off Vale to straightaway centerfield, and coaxed Warriors closer Jon McGinley out of the bullpen in a 7-4 contest. Fox, Mata, and Morris went in order from there, though. 7-4 Warriors. Morris 3-5, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Christopher 2-4, 2B, RBI; Starr 1-2, BB; Lavorano (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

Game 2
POR: RF Christopher – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – CF Mata – 2B White – C Arellano – 3B N. Fox – LF Ayala – P Riddle
SFW: RF A. Barnes – 3B B. Wilken – 1B M. Medina – LF Kaniewski – CF Oldfield – 2B McColgin – SS Gut – C Manjarrez – P Donnelly

Tyler Riddle scored the game’s first run in the third inning, beginning it with a soft single off Donnelly before getting to third base on a Lonzo double to left and scoring on Starr’s sac fly. Mata grounded out to leave the extra runner on base, but Riddle seemed to be in control of the Warriors’ lineup early on. He allowed one hit the first time through, then a 1-out single to Medina in the fourth inning. Kaniewski struck out, and Oldfield flew to left where Ayala butchered the ball into an error and a pair in scoring position with a terrible dropped catch. McColgin thankfully grounded out on a 3-1 pitch, ending the inning and keeping the Coons afloat. This was after Ayala had already hit into an inning-ending double play in the second. He then opened the fifth with a triple to center that was just as badly misplayed by Oldfield, and scored on Riddle’s sac fly, 2-0. Christopher got on, stole second, and came home on Starr’s 2-out single. Ayala went on to walk with White and Nick Fox on base in the sixth inning, loading them up for Riddle, who fanned for the second out, and then Christopher, who laid off a borderline 3-2 pitch and got the call for the walk, pushing home White with the team’s fourth run of the night. Lonzo then flew out to Kaniewski in left.

Riddle was suddenly out of sorts in the bottom 6th, walking Wilken and Medina on eight straight balls to begin the inning. Kaniewski grounded out on a 1-0, and Oldfield popped out on the first pitch he saw, before McColgin fouled off a pitch after the manager and trainer went out to check on Riddle, who claimed to be *fine*. He then got a groundout on the next pitch and the runners were stranded. He pitched another inning without drama, and Murdock then did the eighth. The Raccoons wasted a Lonzo double in the ninth, then sent out Ricky H. for the home half of the inning. Oldfield hit a leadoff single, which was the only lefty hitter that Herrera could expect here, but he then struck out McColgin and got a grounder to short from Gut that Lonzo turned into a 6-3 double play to put the lid on. 4-0 Raccoons. Lavorano 2-5, 2 2B; N. Fox 2-4; Riddle 7.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 4 K, W (3-2) and 1-3, RBI;

Was that enough for Ayala to keep his job? 1-for-3 with a stupid error? Thing was, Malik Crumble was actually hitting a bit in AAA…

Game 3
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – 1B Tomlin – RF Christopher – C Perez – 2B White – 3B N. Fox – P B. Herrera
SFW: C F. Rivera – 3B B. Wilken – 1B M. Medina – LF Kaniewski – CF Oldfield – 2B McColgin – RF C. Santiago – SS Gut – P R. Montoya

Extra-base hits kept arriving with a second-inning triple for Tomlin and RBI double for Perez after Christopher couldn’t get the runner home from third, and Perez was stranded in scoring position altogether. Another run scored in the third with an infield single for Lonzo, who stole second, got third on Brass’ groundout, and then dashed home on a wild pitch by Montoya. Tipsy Bobby looked vulnerable the first time through, needing 35 pitches and running four 3-ball counts, although he didn’t walk anybody. He had another two 3-ball counts in the fourth against Wilken and Kaniewski, neither of whom reached, but then blew the 2-0 lead in the bottom 5th with leadoff doubles for Oldfield and McColgin, and an RBI single for Cesar Santiago. No 3-ball counts in this inning, but two more to begin the sixth, and Medina finally drew a walk off Herrera. Kaniewski struck out and Oldfield found Lonzo with a grounder to end the inning, but that was also the end for Tipsy Bobby after a trying start…

The next two innings didn’t offer much on offense from the Raccoons, while Murdock and Harris kept the Warriors sorta decent. Both put a runner on base, and both got a 4-6-3 double play to clean up behind them. The closer McGinley was then in the 2-2 game in the ninth inning and retired Nick Fox and Mata before giving up a single to Morris with two outs. Enter Lonzo, and a screamer into the right-center gap that was always gonna score Morris from first base, but the Warriors still tried to get the out at home and instead allowed Lonzo to third base uncontested. Brass drew a walk, but Starr struck out and the Raccoons now needed a closer for a 1-run lead. Rocco got Kaniewski on a fly to right, then walked Jamel Robinson in a full count. McColgin smacked a single to right-center and Robinson dashed to third base with the tying run. PH Julio Moriel tied the game with a single to center, and Dave Gut socked a ball to deep left, but Brass made the catch in front of the wall and McColgin had to scamper his winning-run *** back to second. Jose Manjarrez’ groundout sent the game to extras.

Ed Nadeau was brought in for the tenth to face Christopher leading off, and Christopher was generally regarded as blind against lefty pitching, but ripped a leadoff jack to left anyway. Whatever works! Perez hit another single, but the inning fizzled out. At this point the Raccoons had four options left in the pen: DeRose (snort!), Sullivan (12+ ERA), and Middleton and Ricky H., with only the right-hander sorta rested. Middleton it was, and the top of the Warriors order disappeared 1-2-3 to finish the game. 4-3 Raccoons. Lavorano 3-5, 3B, RBI; Tomlin 2-3, 3B; Christopher 2-5, HR, RBI; Perez 3-5, 2B, RBI; White 2-4, BB;

In other news

May 2 – TOP SP Josh Barcellona (3-1, 1.96 ERA) strikes out eight Rebels in a 3-hit shutout, claiming the 4-0 victory.
May 4 – The Rebels send 1B Kris DiPrimio (.296, 4 HR, 13 RBI), the 2061 FL Rookie of the Year, to the Blue Sox for INF/RF Robby Cox (.273, 0 HR, 14 RBI), a prospect, and $1M in cash.
May 6 – CIN RF/1B/LF John MacDonnell (.315, 9 HR, 22 RBI) has his torrid start to the season interrupted by an intercostal strain.
May 6 – The Titans beat the Cyclones, 2-1 in 14 innings, on a last-frame home run by LF/CF Eddie Marcotte (.261, 8 HR, 19 RBI).
May 7 – Pacifics SP Alfonso Calderon (1-1, 2.57 ERA) 2-hits the Knights in an 11-0 rout.
May 7 – The Gold Sox beat the Condors, 1-0, with the game’s only run scoring in the bottom of the ninth on an errant pickoff attempt by TIJ SP Marco Clemente (2-4, 2.42 ERA) with runners on the corners.
May 7 – The Aces beat the Capitals, 13-11 in 15 innings, after both teams scored multiples runs in the ninth and 11th innings.

FL Player of the Week: SAL INF/RF/LF Alberto Bonilla (.347, 0 HR, 10 RBI), batting .538 (14-26) with 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: LVA INF Miguel Veguilla (.326, 1 HR, 9 RBI), hitting .486 (17-35) with 3 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Hey-hey, runs! The boys scored runs! Like, several per game! Will wonders ever cease!? Still last in the North though, but we’re actually back to .500 and there is no losing team in the division right now, not even the 15-15 Loggers! Only the Indians are above .500 in a meaningful way, though.

2057 fifth-round pick Justin Richard retired this week with post-concussion syndrome. He had been in Ham Lake for four years and last year for the first time seemed to actually be hitting a little.

Tyler Riddle had his ERA down to 1.59 at this point, best in the Continental League, but there were a few FL pitchers with better ERA’s, led overall by Dallas’ Alex Quevedo (1.16), and respect to everybody that could keep his ERA under three in that fiendish shoebox they played in. Third in the FL was Quevedo’s teammate Ray “Crabman” Walker (1.45 ERA).

Malik Crumble was hitting .343 with 5 homers in AAA, so him and Nick Nye were probably going to come up for the next series against the Caps after an off day on Monday. This was actually the start of a 4-team, 13-game homestand that would also bring in the damn Elks, Titans, and Knights.

Fun Fact: Lonzo’s pinch-hit homer on Friday was his first longball since April 17 of last year, when he bombed Indy’s Kelly Whitney.

Lonzo was on four homers in 52 at-bats to begin this season, then went 617 homerless at-bats before drumming Jonathan Vale.

[Westheim]

Dear people of Furville. It’s been 95°F for the last couple of days, and my brain doesn’t work anymore. Anything that doesn’t make sense in this week’s update is perhaps down to that.

I’m also a bit dizzy. I should perhaps lie down now. (falls face first into his food bowl)

+++

Raccoons (16-16) vs. Capitals (15-17) – May 9-11, 2062

The Capitals had the most runs allowed in the league, giving up just shy of six runs a game, but not to worry for them, because here came the Raccoons. On offense, they were average, and were wobbling around with a -46 run differential. Last time these teams met was in 2060, when the Caps won two of three games.

Nick Robinson (3-3, 3.69 ERA) vs. A.C. Stebbins (0-1, 9.26 ERA)
Chance Fox (2-1, 3.86 ERA) vs. Jon Reyes (1-4, 4.40 ERA)
Angel Alba (0-5, 5.06 ERA) vs. Adam Lunn (2-5, 6.28 ERA)

Stebbins would open the series from the left side after a common day off on Monday. The remaining Caps starters were right-handers.

The Raccoons optioned Forbes Tomlin (.296, 1 HR, 13 RBI) and Felix Ayala (.222, 0 HR, 1 RBI) to the Alley Cats and brought up Nick Nye from his rehab assignment and Malik Crumble for the first time after being signed this offseason and waived and designated for assignment on Opening Day.

Game 1
WAS: 2B W. Acosta – 3B A. Flores – 1B F. Martinez – LF T. Duncan – C Burkart – RF D. Flores – CF Konecny – SS Leitch – P Stebbins
POR: 2B Nye – SS Lavorano – C Perez – RF Brassfield – 1B Starr – 3B N. Fox – CF Mata – LF Crumble – P Robinson

Willie Acosta opened the week with a homer to left before Angelo Flores drew a walk and Felix Martinez reached on an error by Nick Fox, but Robinson then actually settled in and retired three straight on two pops and a fly to center. The Raccoons flipped the score in the same inning. Nick Nye returned with a leadoff single, scored on Angel Perez’ 1-out double, and Starr singled to left to get Perez around for a 2-1 lead. Carlos Mata’s leadoff double in the bottom 2nd didn’t lead anywhere, but Lonzo, Perez, and Brass all put their fuzzy bums on base to begin the bottom 3rd for three on and nobody out. Joel Starr’s sac fly to center was as good as it got. Fox made a poor out, Mata walked in a full count, and Crumble crumbled for a 4-3 groundout.

Robinson then also crumbled. With two in scoring position and two outs in the fourth inning, he gave up a single to center to Stebbins that scored both Bruce Burkart and David Flores and tied the game at three. A back complaint would remove Robinson from the game in the fifth inning and DeRose took over in long relief, then oversaw a 4-run rally in the bottom 5th with a Perez single, a Brass RBI triple to take the lead, an intentional walk to Starr, and then a 3-run homer to right for Carlos Mata! 7-3! …and with that, both starters were out of the game. Nick Nye then added a home run to left in the bottom 6th to add a run, but don’t you worry, Justin DeRose was hard at work to fritter it all away again. He walked a pair in Tony Rodriquez and Angelo Flores, then gave up an RBI single to Felix Martinez, 8-4. Tim Duncan whiffed before the runners advanced on a wild pitch, but they were stranded in scoring position when Nye made a bare-pawed play on a slow Burkart grounder to second, getting out of the inning. DeRose would toss a total of three innings for the win, even when Ryan Sullivan tried just as hard to trash the game in the ninth inning, putting Joo-Chan Lee and Willie Acosta on base to start the frame with a 4-run lead before getting yelled at from the dugout and finally getting three outs. 8-4 Raccoons. Nye 2-5, HR, RBI; Perez 3-4, 2B, RBI; Starr 1-2, BB, 2 RBI; Mata 2-3, BB, HR, 2B, 3 RBI;

Robinson might miss a start, or he might not. It was wait-and-see how things would go by Sunday.

Game 2
WAS: 2B W. Acosta – 3B A. Flores – 1B F. Martinez – LF T. Duncan – C Burkart – RF D. Flores – CF Konecny – SS Sherrick – P Jon Reyes
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – 1B Starr – 2B Nye – RF Christopher – C Perez – 3B N. Fox – P C. Fox

After Tuesday’s offensive feast, Wednesday brought a pitchers’ duel with no scoring in the first six innings, even though the Capitals reached scoring position four times against Chance Fox, and just couldn’t push anybody across. The Raccoons were less lucky, with Lonzo hitting into a double play and Nye being caught stealing at different times. Both teams actually had four base hits through six innings. The scoreless tie was irretrievably broken by Joo-chan Lee with a leadoff jack to left-center in the seventh inning. Fox got out of the inning, and to anybody’s surprise was taken off the hook in the bottom 7th with three singles slapped by Starr, Nye, and Perez, the latter getting the tying run across with two outs. Nick Fox popped out to third base to end the inning, though. Chance Fox in turn came back for the top 8th and got rid of the switch-hitting Acosta, but then was lifted for a no-decision as we brought in Murdock. Angelo Flores singled to left-center against the right-hander, but Martinez hit into a double play to end the inning. Jim White and Ben Morris hit singles for the Coons in the bottom 8th, but it was poor outs and an inning-ending double play from Brassfield, and no runs for the Raccoons.

The ninth first saw Middleton stalk around a Lonzo error in the top half before Troy Ratliff retired Starr before Nye and Perez scratched out singles, and Fox drew a walk to fill them up. Right-hander Brian Goldsmith came in with three on, two outs, and Carlos Mata pinch-hitting… and grounding out to Acosta to send the game to overtime. Justin Rocco got around a single in the tenth inning, while Goldsmith returned for another go at the Coons, issued a leadoff walk to Ben Morris, and then saw him steal second base on his first pitch to Lonzo, who then rolled a dying wheezer on the infield that there was no play to have on for the Caps. Lonzo had an infield single, with Morris’ winning run to third base. Brass ended the game with a hard liner into right-center for a walkoff single. 2-1 Blighters. Morris 2-4, BB; Nye 3-4; Perez 2-3, BB, RBI; White (PH) 1-1; C. Fox 7.1 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K;

At this point we were 18-16, two games over .500 … and still in last place, virtually tied with the Loggers, but a worse winning percentage.

Game 3
WAS: LF Rodriquez – 2B W. Acosta – CF Epperson – 3B A. Flores – RF D. Flores – SS Sherrick – 1B Konecny – C Burkart – P Lunn
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – 1B Starr – 2B Nye – RF Christopher – C Arellano – 3B N. Fox – P Alba

Honeypaws, Slappy, and old me were very looking forward to Angel Alba finally getting his ERA a bit closer to his 3.98 FIP on Thursday, and, hey, one can dream, right? Maybe get a win even! Morris’ leadoff double in the bottom 1st was a good start, and Lonzo hit another soft single to put runners on the corners. Brass forced out Lonzo with a comebacker, but after that spiffy play Lunn instead balked in the game’s first run, but then stranded Brass on second base. The Coons went back to runners on first and third and nobody out in the bottom 3rd, with a Morris single following a double to left by Alba, who had three scoreless on the board. Morris was caught stealing and both Lonzo and Brass popped out on the infield to give me nasty flashbacks to two weeks ago.

The other way ‘round Lunn got two out in the fourth before allowing Joe-Chris and Arellano on base and then giving up a wallbanger RBI double to .135 hitter Nick Fox. Alba batted for the second time in two innings then, and for the second time in two innings got a knock, shoving a 2-run single through the left side to run the score to 4-0!

The Caps got on base with two hits to begin the fifth inning. David Flores singled to left, Jamie Sherrick doubled to center, and a run scored on ex-Coon Kelly Konecny’s sac fly to Brassfield, 4-1. At least we kept Sherrick on base. The contact off Alba got louder in these innings. The Caps hit three rockets in the sixth, but all three were somehow caught, and Angelo Flores got on base in the seventh. Alba got David Flores and Sherrick out, but then was lifted after 105 pitches. Konecny popped out against Adam Harris to complete the inning. Sullivan was next and got two outs before we went to Rocco, shooting for a 4-out save, beginning with Tony Rodriquez flying out to right. Acosta grounded out to begin the ninth, but Gunner Epperson and Angelo Flores both singled to center against Rocco in the ninth. Alba’s first W of the year was in danger now, but David Flores hit a grounder to short next up. Lonzo, to Jon Bean at second, and then to first to complete the sweep…! 4-1 Coons. Morris 3-4, 2B; Arellano 2-4; Alba 6.2 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 5 K, W (1-5) and 2-2, 2B, 2 RBI;

Raccoons (19-16) vs. Canadiens (19-14) – May 12-14, 2062

The damn Elks had swept the Raccoons in the first meeting between these teams which was a perfectly good damper on that 9-4 start we had enjoyed. Since then they had rallied to second place in the division and were ranked eighth in runs scored and fifth in runs allowed, with a narrow +3 run differential.

Projected matchups:
Tyler Riddle (3-2, 1.59 ERA) vs. Rafael Mendoza (1-5, 3.48 ERA)
Bobby Herrera (4-1, 2.47 ERA) vs. Carlos Torres (2-1, 5.51 ERA)
Nick Robinson (3-3, 3.89 ERA) vs. Ken Nielsen (4-3, 3.27 ERA)

Only right-handers coming at us here. The only notable DL absence for the Elks was Steven Spalding, the infielder.

Game 1
VAN: 2B A. Castillo – CF Valencia – 1B J. Campos – RF C. Cardenas – 3B Whittington – SS C. Sullivan – C Orphanos – LF D. Garcia – P R. Mendoza
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – 1B Starr – 2B Nye – RF Christopher – C Perez – 3B N. Fox – P Riddle

Raccoons pitchers kept whacking the baseball – Tyler Riddle hit an RBI single to drive in Nick Fox with nobody out in the third inning, which made up for the shoddy start to the game he had showed, walking three Elks inside the first two innings, but not allowing a run so far. Mendoza did not allow further advance in the inning, but landed awkwardly on the final pitch of the inning to Brassfield, and left the game with a bum ankle. The Elks took him off the hook right away in the fourth; Thomas Whittington hit a leadoff double to left, gained a base on a passed ball charged to Angel Perez, and then scored easily on Chris Sullivan’s sac fly to left-center.

Starr’s double in the bottom 4th came with one out and led nowhere when Nye and Christopher passed through the batter’s box, and Riddle was taken deep by Whittington to give the damn Elks a 2-1 lead in the sixth, the final inning for Riddle, who then left with an elevated pitch count of 98 tosses. I was getting grumbly on the couch because going down 0-4 to the damn Elks was not what I had on my wishlist for this bloody season. Brass hit a single in the bottom 6th, but was left on second base. In the seventh, Joe-Chris drove a leadoff double into the right-center gap, so there was the tying run in scoring position *again*. Perez grounded out to second, advancing the runner, and Nick Fox singled to center, and that got Christopher home to tie the game at two. Jim White, relegated to the bench with the return of Nick Nye, pinch-hit for Middleton in this spot and hit another gap double in left-center. Fox dashed around to score, and the Coons were up 3-2! That was it, though, with a walk to Morris, and then poor outs in the air from Lonzo and Brass…

Top 8th, Murdock got one out before putting Chad Cardenas on base, after which Ricky Herrera came in for the left-handed bats. Both Whittington and Chris Sullivan hit flies to deep left, yet both of those ended up with Brassfield to end the inning. Ricky H. was still on the hill in the ninth after an abortive bottom 8th against Ben Akman, and with Rocco unavailable. There was no trust in Ryan Sullivan and DeRose, and apart from that there was only Harris left. Ricky it is! Mike Orphanos went out to Nick Fox, and Chris Richardson struck out. Alex Maldonado pinch-hit in the pitcher’s spot, went down on strikes, and the winning streak continued! 3-2 Critters. N. Fox 2-3, 3B, RBI; White (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; R. Herrera 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, SV (1);

With no day off for the rest of the homestand, 6-game winning streak or not, we needed to dish out off days. Nye, Fox, and Christopher all had the day off on Saturday. Lonzo was marked up for Sunday.

Game 2
VAN: 2B A. Castillo – CF D. Garcia – 1B J. Campos – RF D. Moreno – C A. Maldonado – 3B C. Sullivan – LF Valencia – SS Graves – P C. Torres
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – RF Brassfield – 1B Starr – 2B White – LF Mata – C Perez – 3B Bean – P B. Herrera

Bobby Herrera gave up a leadoff double to Alex Castillo in the first, but stranded the runner with a couple of strikeouts. Danny Garcia’s leadoff double in the fourth however did not end so well. Jose Campos whiffed, but Damian Moreno drew a walk, and singles by Maldonado and Sullivan each drove in a run, the first two markers on the board, with only two hits on the Coons’ side of the box score so far. Bobby Herrera finished the inning with another two strikeouts. Campos struck out once more to begin the sixth, which was the last out for Tipsy Bobby. Moreno singled. Maldonado doubled. Sullivan singled. Rafael Valencia doubled. Kenny Graves doubled. Carlos ******* Torres doubled. That was five runs on the board, and a call to the pen. Middleton came in, walked the bags full, and then a run scored on an error by Bean. Out with Middleton, in with Adam Harris, and out to right with a grand slam by Damian Moreno.

(opens bottle of bleach)

Ten straight Elks had reached, ten runs had gone on the board (nine earned). The game was in the bin, down 12-0, and DeRose was tossed in for the last three innings, but before that Joel Starr hit a rather meaningless 3-run homer to right off Carlos Torres in the bottom 6th after Torres had drilled Malik Crumble and walked Brassfield. That inning ended with White, but Mata, Perez, and Bean singled the bags full in the bottom 7th. We were not baited though, and didn’t bat for DeRose. He struck out, and Malik crumbled into a rather impressive 4-5 lineout double play, with an assist from Mata, who went for home without ******* looking. DeRose allowed another run before the game was over. 13-3 Canadiens.

Always great when the least incompetent part of the roster is the long relief….

Game 3
VAN: 2B A. Castillo – CF Valencia – 1B J. Campos – RF C. Cardenas – SS C. Sullivan – C Orphanos – 3B Graves – LF D. Garcia – P Nielsen
POR: CF Morris – SS White – LF Brassfield – 1B Starr – 2B Nye – RF Christopher – C Arellano – 3B N. Fox – P Robinson

Robinson threw in some painkillers and four extra donuts with sprinkles on Sunday morning and claimed the bad back good to go. Orphanos singled in the second, but was left out there, and then Starr got on base to begin the bottom 2nd with another single and jogged home when Nye socked a homer over the fence in leftfield. Christopher got on and was caught stealing, and Nick Fox hit a double off the wall in the same inning, but was left on when Robinson’s fly to left was easy pickings for Danny Garcia. Bottom 3rd, and the bags were loaded with White getting nicked, Brass singling, and Starr working a walk on five pitches, all after an initial K to Morris. Nielsen plated a run with a wild pitch, and Nye drove in the rest with a 2-run single to left-center, 5-0!

From there, things started to come apart a little, and perhaps including Robinson’s back. Cardenas and Sullivan reached base with two outs in the fourth and both scored on an Orphanos double to center, and Garcia and Valencia also ended up on the corners in the fifth inning, but there Campos took an all-or-nothing swing at 2-2 attempting to tie the game and struck out. The tying run was in the box with two outs in the sixth *again*, then after Robinson had fumbled a comebacker from Graves that should have been the final out. Coulda woulda shoulda, but at least Morris rushed down Garcia’s drive to center to end the inning, still up 5-2.

That was the final inning for Robinson, who was hit for with Mata for no great result in the bottom 6th. Ricky H. struck out the side in the seventh, the same inning Nick Nye tripled in Brassfield for a 2-out run against Carson Miller. That put Nye a double short of the cycle, but he would be hard pressed to get another at-bat with only four outs left unless the bullpen could light some fireworks from here. – You are right, Slappy, I should not encourage them.

Christopher whiffed and that ended the bottom 7th. Ryan Sullivan had two strikeouts and a grounder in the eighth, and finally got that soggy ERA of his into single digits, whee! Lonzo pinch-hit, walked (!), and stole his 10th base of the year in the home eighth, after not getting a good jump all week. With the 4-run lead, the ball went to Harris in the ninth. He walked Orphanos before ringing up the left-handed batters Graves and Garcia. Richardson, however, also a lefty swinger, singled to right, and put runners on the corners. The Coons really didn’t want to involve another reliever here and had a bit of a mound conference before Harris would face the right-handed Castillo – and he struck him out…! 6-2 Raccoons. Brassfield 2-3, BB; Nye 4-4, HR, 3B, 5 RBI; N. Fox 2-4, 2B; Robinson 6.0 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 8 K, W (4-3);

In other news

May 10 – The Rebels beat the Bayhawks, 6-4 in 14 innings. San Francisco makes four errors in the game, somehow none of them leading to an unearned run.
May 11 – Dallas SP Ian Peters (5-2, 2.34 ERA) throws a 3-hit shutout in a 3-0 win against the Falcons.
May 12 – With a torn labrum, Pacifics OF/3B/SS Steven Heiden (.214, 1 HR, 5 RBI) will miss the rest of the season.

FL Player of the Week: SFW INF William McColgin (.289, 4 HR, 19 RBI), hitting .520 (13-25) with 3 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: MIL 3B/2B Ralph Lange (.351, 6 HR, 21 RBI), bashing .529 (9-17) with 3 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I don’t care about a 5-1 week. Losing by ten to the damn Elks in that “1” invalidates all the other results, and we’re still only half a game outta last place!

We’re also only two games outta first place, which is kinda wicked for mid-May.

Nick Fowler started a rehab assignment on Sunday, so soon we’ll have the crew back together.

The Titans and Knights are still coming in on this homestand.

Fun Fact: There are more winning teams in the CL North than in all other divisions combined.

(does a double take)

(counts on all four paws)

Maybe I should lay off the bleach-soaked donuts, because I think I’m seeing things.