Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Westheim]

Some career stats! The list was compiled from the one made about 25 years ago, and some categories have barely changed.

There was no single-season list but I might whip that up later. But three days in, and I still have the urge to play as much Civ 7 as I can before being struck by Monday

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BASE HITS
1st – Pablo Sanchez (HOF) – 4,476 – played until his age 45 season
2nd – Victorino Sanchez (HOF) – 4,083
3rd – Dale Wales (HOF) – 3,673
4th – Cristo Ramirez (HOF) – 3,625 – part of that was first great Loggers team c.2000 that never won anything thanks to the Titans being even greater
5th – Jeffery Brown (HOF) – 3,582 – with the Capitals during the time we met in three straight World Series, 1991-1993
6th – Danny Santillano (HOF) – 3,451
7th – Guillermo Obando (HOF) – 3,304
8th – Sonny Reece (HOF) – 3,294 – still the only guy to hit two Game 7 walkoffs in the same season (for the Thunder)
9th – Antonio Esquivel (HOF) – 3,263
10th – Martin Ortíz (HOF) – 3,220 – half of the Crusaders’ Martin Brothers, who were not actually brothers

The highest-ranking player that was actually a Raccoon is Cosmo Trevino in 13th place with 3,060 hits, just ahead of Yoshi Nomura, 15th with 3,050 hits. The active leader is Victor Corrales with 2,816 hits, sitting in 35th place.

HOME RUNS
1st – Eddie Moreno – 478 – was on the HOF ballot for the first time last year, but was not elected (yet)
2nd – Ron Alston (HOF) – 475 – spent a few seasons with the Raccoons, but went into the Hall as an Arrowhead
3rd – Danny Santillano (HOF) – 457
4th – Raúl Vazquez (HOF) – 416 – was also prominently on the Indians, but made the Hall as Rebel
5th – Ivan Villa – 414 – HOF ballot eligible for the first time this winter
6th – Gil Rockwell (HOF) – 412 – finished his career with the Raccoons, hitting 19 homers in his final season (2022) with the Critters
7th – Dan Morris (HOF) – 408
8th – Shane Sanks (HOF) – 379
9th – Martin Ortíz (HOF) – 377 – still not related to Stanton Martin
10th – Mike Rucker – 376

The active leader is Zach Suggs, 15th with 368 homers. The highest-ranking player with a longer Critters tenure than Ron Alston is t-22nd with 336 homers, Hugo “Tiger” Mendoza.

RUNS BATTED IN
1st – Danny Santillano (HOF) – 1,755
2nd – Will Bailey (HOF) – 1,714
3rd – Eddie Moreno – 1,704
4th – Pablo Sanchez – 1,688
5th – Martin Ortíz (HOF) – 1,670 – Stanton Martin called, they’re really not related
6th – Ron Alston (HOF) – 1,598
7th – Bakile Hiwalani (HOF) – 1,592 – also part of that c.2000 Loggers dynasty that was no dynasty for a lack of hardware
8th – Danny Rivera – 1,585 – also did not get elected on his first HOF ballot last winter
9th – Dan Morris (HOF) – 1,578
10th – Victor Corrales (active) – 1,574

No surprise that there are no other long-term Raccoons anywhere near the top here. We just went over how we’re only CL runs scored champs for the second time ever.

STOLEN BASES
1st – Lorenzo Lavorano – 752 – the goodest boy, and I will totally shove him down the Hall of Fame’s throat one day!
2nd – Pablo Sanchez (HOF) – 721
3rd – Enrique Trevino (HOF) – 708
4th – Guillermo Obando (HOF) – 686
5th – Alberto Ramos (HOF) – 677 – the Raccoons’ goodest boy shortstop prior to the other goodest boy shortstop
6th – Alex Vasquez (active) – 669
7th – Omar Sanchez (active) – 657
8th – Rich de Luna – 570
9th – Danny Ceballos (active) – 534
10th – Chris Navarro – 516 – too recently retired to make the HOF ballot

This is the category with the most upheaval, with only the four Hall of Famers remaining from the top 10 of 25 years ago. Lonzo stormed all the way to the top, while the three active players in the top 10 are all well over 30 and the only one not making disturbing fizzling noises already is Sanchez, who stole 33 bases this year as a 35-year-old shortstop. I know the type.

WINS
1st – Tony Hamlyn (HOF) – 308 – with all these great all-time Indians, how do the Titans, Crusaders, Raccoons, and damn Elks (in roughly that order) have all the trophies?
2nd – Martin Garcia (HOF) – 292 – Loggers ace that was just unbeatable on those c.2000 Loggers
3rd – Aaron Anderson (HOF) – 286
4th – Woody Roberts (HOF) – 279
t-5th – Juan Correa (HOF) – 272 – “Mauler” Correa won 11 games with the 1990 Raccoons, his final season in the majors
t-5th – Craig Hansen (HOF) – 272
7th – Jose Lerma (HOF) – 270
8th – Bastyao Caixinha (HOF) – 262 – in the Hall as Pacific despite spending more time with the Falcons
9th – Javier Cruz (HOF) – 256
10th – Brad Smith (HOF) – 254

This list is literally unchanged except for Jose Lerma picking up one final win compared to back then. Even this franchise’s biggest folly (or at least in the top 3), Dennis Fried, is *still* 16th with 240 wins and Kisho Saito remains t-18th with 238 wins. Very mild movement further down as Nick Brown (225) lost two spots in 25 years down to 26th, one of them to the active wins leader Kodai Koga, who got up to 22nd with 230 wins this year as a 40-year-old. Koga triggered the vesting option in his contract for another go at it at 41, though. Next guy down the line would be the Crusaders’ Ben Seiter with 208 wins. He’ll be 35 in May and he has a 9-year streak going of winning 15+ games.

STRIKEOUTS
1st – Tony Hamlyn (HOF) – 3,952
2nd – Jose Lerma (HOF) – 3,848
3rd – Martin Garcia (HOF) – 3,783
4th – Mike McCaffrey – 3,535 – too recently retired to be on the HOF ballot, and never pitched in the CL so he never really showed up on our radar
5th – Rod Taylor (HOF) – 3,473 – Elks ace in the 2000s/2010s, but I never really hate on the great players… only the Ted Del Vecchios.
6th – Brad Smith (HOF) – 3,411
7th – Woody Roberts (HOF) – 3,313
8th – Pancho Trevino (HOF) – 3,238
9th – Aaron Anderson (HOF) – 3,225
10th – Carlos Castro (HOF) – 3,198

McCaffrey knocked Brownie (3,166) out of the top 10. The best 11th-round left-hander ever is still 11th all-time. The active leaders are unsurprisingly Kodai Koga (36th, 2,520 K) and Ben Seiter (44th, 2,463 K).

ERA (while trying to filter out pitchers that spent most of their career as closers)
1st – Phil Harrington (HOF) – 2.143
2nd – Juan Correa (HOF) – 2.436
3rd – Salah Brunet – 2.488 – was already 33 years old when the ABL started play, but pitched a no-hitter in the brief time he had. Pitched just over the 810 IP required for this list
4th – Tony Hamlyn (HOF) – 2.627
5th – Mike DeWitt (active) – 2.674 – just 952 ABL innings so far, but the Indian has won two ERA titles in his four qualifying seasons, so we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt
6th – Gary Perrone (HOF) – 2.693
7th – Ricardo Montoya (active) – 2.714 – career Warriors starter that just won his third FL ERA title
8th – Kennedy Adkins – 2.715 – too recently retired for HOF consideration so far
9th – Jason Brenize (active) – 2.719 – Titans stud that just took home his second CL ERA title and would be way higher up the list if he hadn’t been rushed to the majors for two-and-a-half years of floggings
10th – David Barel – 2.769

The Raccoons snuck three pitchers on the list, although they pitched a grand total of 97 starts for the Critters (although that includes two ERA titles by Adkins, one wholly owned by Portland and one shared with the Crusaders in a trade for players I don’t want to talk about anymore). Brownie (2.888) and Jonny Toner (2.892) were 8th and 9th on the list back in the day, but are now 14th and 16th, respectively, with another active player, Dallas’ Alex Quevedo squished in between.

SAVES
1st – Andres Ramirez (HOF) – 770 – you know, it was him or Daniel Hall for the Raccoons in the first ever draft in 1977, and we took Daniel Hall. Still not regretting it!
2nd – Angel Casas (HOF) – 641 – Raccoons Hall of Famer #1 on this list
3rd – Pedro Alvarado (HOF) – 624
4th – Lawson Steward (HOF) – 593
5th – Andy Hyden (HOF) – 538
6th – Grant West (HOF) – 522 – Raccoons Hall of Famer #2 on this list, and ONE reason we didn’t regret not picking Andres Ramirez
7th – Jim Durden – 519 – more Indians stars on these lists, and not even in the Hall of Fame
8th – Josh Boles (HOF) – 508 – Raccoons Hall of Famer #3 on this list
9th – Salvadaro Soure (HOF) – 499 – could have been Raccoons Hall of Famer #4 on this list, but was traded as prospect for Ramiro Cavazos. Who?
10th – William Henderson – 498

Yes, there was a time when the Raccoons didn’t change closers more regularly than their underwear. Even more unfathomable: can you believe that Ben Lussier is not only a very regular punchline around this place, but also the leading active player with 446 saves in 21st place?

[Westheim]

Adam Valdes claimed that he was not afraid to buy a championship but then only gave the Raccoons, who missed October ball by three games, another $2M increase to the existing $68M budget. We inched up one spot in the team budget rankings from 9th to 8th, but I had hoped for more resources in my bid to buy an entirely new pitching staff this winter.

Top 5: Knights ($86M), Thunder ($83M), Crusaders, Titans ($80M each), Stars ($79M)
Bottom 5: Bayhawks ($46.5M), Cyclones ($45M), Falcons ($44M), Aces ($39.5M), Wolves ($39M)

The remaining CL North teams slotted in 13th (IND, $59M), 14th (VAN, $57M), and 19th (MIL, $47.5M). Yes, the Loggers moved out of the poverty zone. Would they be able to make a run for it? At least they had already signed Fidel Carrera to a (disturbingly cheap!) extension through the 2069 season.

While the average budget went up this year by a sturdy $1.57M to $61.27M, the median budget was now $59.5M, which for the second year in a row was down $1M from last season. Rich getting richer!

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The offseason started with Juan Carrillo eagerly picking up his $2M player option after posting a 4.47 ERA this year, which filled me with joy. Or booze. Anybody’s guess, really.

Which gets us to the salary arbitration and free agency table [see bottom for full details]. The Raccoons had six arbitration cases on their paws, and five free agent, with the big ticket there being SP Tyler Riddle, who was a type A free agent and … the Raccoons would let him go. Yes, he had been largely blameless over his four years in Portland, apart from the injuries. There was every reason to believe that the injuries would not get better overall and that his asking price ($4M annually so far) would also not get better. The Raccoons were eyeing those draft picks, especially since we would probably forfeit our own #19 pick going after some free agent or other.

The other free agents were pitchers Alex Cruzado, Mike Hall, and Ryan Harmer, who would all probably improve the pen by just disappearing into the woods, and outfielder Elmer Maldonado, who did *fine* as a 32-year-old centerfielder, not quite reaching a qualifying amount of at-bats, but the Raccoons needed dollars for pitchers and with the emergence of Malcolm Spicer would probably shift Jack Kozak to centerfield, and what were we going to do with a fourth outfielder hitting just over league average probably costing $2M that Carrillo had just sucked up for no good reason?

On the arbitration side we had two starters (contorts himself already) in Alba and Morris, another reliever that I didn’t particularly fancy in McDaniel, serviceable backup catcher Marcos Arellano, the aforementioned Kozak, and Todd Oley, who finally reached “mini payday” at the ripe old age of 32, which already sounds a lot like someone was about to be non-tendered.

Since the Coons’ offense had just finished tops in the CL, only minor tweaks were to be expected on that front, mostly to the bench. The pitching staff was the one that needed to have the sledgehammer taken to it for some fine tuning.

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Yes yes, there’s more stats coming. But the Civ7 developers are streaming soon, and then I am still not sick of the game myself. But we’re gonna get there, I promise. (raises paw and looks as innocent and holy as he can)

[Westheim]

The Decade of Darkness didn’t kill the Coons, 2032 didn’t kill the Coons, but at this rate Sid Meier just goddamn might! (blushes and hides his shame behind his paws)

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None of the arbitration cases received more than a 1-year deal by the time the extensions signed were announced in November. Angel Alba got the biggest piece of pie at $1.15M for 2064. The only real issue with his raw stats were the home runs, which he had led the CL once in, but I was a bit wary of giving him a larger deal. With Jack Kozak it was right the other way round – he absolutely lived off his home runs, because he was not a great average hitter, and he had back-to-back seasons with over 120 strikeouts. If Jack Kozak was facing Angel Alba in the same division, he’d probably hit 30 homers a season. Kozak got $1M for the new season, same as Jarod Morris. Isaac McDaniel was back for $575k, but Alex Cruzado, the only free agent we seriously pondered resigning, would not be, since he was chasing a multi-year deal making more than Alba per season, and I wasn’t interested in that. The last one to sign was Marcos Arellano for $630k.

And no, Todd Oley, a pro since 2051, and proud owner of 150 major league base hits, would cease being the running gag of the player that comes back every season from AAA, again and again, and will never get claimed no matter how often he passes through waivers. Oley had made appearances for eight consecutive seasons with the Raccoons, 244 in total. This previous season had actually been his career-high in terms of games played for the Coons with 57, but his *debut* season was the one where he had gotten the most at-bats, with 138. Since age had taken the edge off his defense he was no longer useful in centerfield, and now he was just a left-handed corner outfielder with no power that was 12 years older than the newest hot **** from AAA, Malcolm Spicer. And I wonder why it takes 139 words to explain *why* Todd Oley will not be back at all…!

Tyler Riddle would end up declining salary arbitration, becoming a free agent and making the Raccoons eligible for compensation picks since he was a type A free agent. Besides Todd Oley, AAA players Armando Suriel and Joe Robertson, with stints with the Raccoons in previous years, also obtained minor league free agency.

Once the free agents had cleaned out of the roster, the Raccoons were only left with 12 pitchers, four of them starters (Elling, Alba, Fox, Morris), and eight relievers, at least some of them not safe for human consumption. There was the tire fire Jon McGinley (six blown saves and a 7-game string in August in which he allowed run(s) in six of them), professional erratics Juan Carrillo and Isaac McDaniel, the young hope-yet-to-be-trampled Jesse Dover, and then it was into the Nesbitts, Reads, Sensabaughs, and Herreras. The last four there were really only enumerated for completeness’ sake. Even the census tries to count the drug-addleds, lunatics, and vagrants of no discernible use to society.

There remained 17 position players on the roster, including four catchers (Burkart, Arellano, Lawson, Guinea), infielders Starr, Monck, Morales, Aoki, Novelo, and Gardner, and outfielders Kozak, Corral, Spicer, Campos, Valencia, Tallent, and Moreno. I won’t claim that there’s not a purposeful addition that could be made here, like the second backup infielder and some tweaking with the outfielders, but the main construction site for the winter would definitely be the pitching staff, and I sure as heck was hoping we could get there without having to trade from our LEAGUE LEADING OFFENSE.

Nope, not tired of beating that drum yet. When it happens only once every 30 years, you get bonus beats.

For the pitching staff, hope was on the horizon, and it spoke Japanese from birth, as among the small pawful of potentially useful Asian immigrants to the league was 27-year-old right-hander Shoma Nakayama, who looked like the controlled finesse groundballer the Raccoons would love to add to the roster. The last few Japanese pitcher additions had all been more or less busts (there was a Tetsu Kurihara still rotting on the Alley Cats’ roster), but this time it would surely be different, right? Right?

The Raccoons had about $12M of budget space, which would surely buy them a Nakayama and then some, but we still had to be prudent about it. There was no real dead weight on the roster at least. The three biggest contracts were those of Elling ($7M), Monck ($5M), and Burkart ($4M), followed by a couple of $2.5M’s to Starr and Fox. (tries to cover the bottom end of the top 10 with three relievers sucking up $6.3M for mostly nothing) Yes, it’s McGinley, Carrillo, and Kurihara, the latter of whom some door knob had signed for 3-yr, $6M last winter.

But with Nakayama it would totally be different!

There was also a 2-time and current Pitcher of the Year that was a free agent as Ricardo Montoya’s time with the Warriors ended after 12 years in the Bigs together. He had just won the ERA title in the FL (also for the second time) and he had a wipeout combo of a 99mph fastball and an unhittable knuckle curve. The issues were the degraded changeup for a third pitch and that his stamina was rated as a *5*. He only pitched 185 innings in 31 starts this season, and he was going to cost an absurd amount of dosh for that. The only argument I could make besides “but they’d be the best 185 innings you’d get on *this* roster” was that he was for odd reasons NOT a type A free agent, but a type B, which would mean we wouldn’t **** away our #19 pick by signing him. But if you sign the right-handed Montoya, you better have a guy behind him that covers that sixth and seventh inning well, perhaps a lefty. For his career, the 34-year-old Montoya was 160-66 with a 2.71 ERA and 2,153 strikeouts in 2,055 innings. He had won three strikeout crowns in the FL, but none in this decade. He had led the FL in the best HR/9 and BB/9 rates in ’64 as well.

In short, Montoya was no walks, no bombs, no runs, no nonsense, but also five innings and done. And for that he wanted $21M over three years.

(blows bigly, making Honeypaws’ whiskers flutter)

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October 27 – ATL SP Jose Rosa, age 28, retires from the game after suffering complications with his torn biceps. Rosa pitched to a 21-19 record in 63 starts in the majors, with a 4.15 ERA.
November 5 – The Thunder acquire catcher Ramon Lopez (.234, 9 HR, 30 RBI) from the Rebels for a pair of prospects.
November 20 – The Crusaders trade for the Warriors’ 3B/SS Ben Wilken (.253, 39 HR, 293 RBI), parting with OF/2B Jesus Alvarez (.247, 17 HR, 75 RBI) and a prospect.

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2064 ABL AWARDS

Players of the Year: DAL CF Tyler Wharton (.365, 28 HR, 117 RBI) and MIL 2B/SS Fidel Carrera (.309, 30 HR, 93 RBI)
Pitchers of the Year: SFW SP Ricardo Montoya (18-5, 2.23 ERA) and BOS SP Jason Brenize (14-7, 1.80 ERA)
Rookies of the Year: SAC RF/LF/1B Juan de Luna (.275, 22 HR, 73 RBI) and VAN OF Rick Atkins (.317, 18 HR, 101 RBI)
Relievers of the Year: SFW CL Lorenzo Lucatero (4-1, 1.31 ERA, 47 SV) and ATL CL Erik Swain (2-1, 1.02 ERA, 23 SV)
Platinum Sticks (FL): P TOP Justin Kent – C NAS David Johnson – 1B NAS Kris DiPrimio – 2B WAS Angelo Flores – 3B TOP Alex de los Santos – SS WAS Ramon Archuleta – LF DAL Chad Pritchett – CF DAL Tyler Wharton – RF NAS Austin Gordon
Platinum Sticks (CL): P POR Tyler Riddle – C MIL Tommy Guitreau – 1B OCT Ian Stone – 2B MIL Fidel Carrera – 3B LVA Alex Alfaro – SS TIJ Casey Ramsey – LF BOS Steve Humphries – CF BOS Eddie Marcotte – RF ATL Jake Evans
Gold Gloves (FL): P NAS Preston Young – C SAL Steve Preston – 1B PIT Mike Velazquez – 2B NAS Rafael Roldan – 3B DAL Xavier Reyes – SS RIC Jason Turner – LF NAS Sean McLaughlin – CF DAL Tyler Wharton – RF SAC Juan de Luna
Gold Gloves (CL): P NYC Erik Lee – C TIJ Mike Brann – 1B ATL Jose Campos – 2B LVA Mike Roberts – 3B OCT Alberto Bonilla – SS CHA Trent Taylor – LF BOS Steve Humphries – CF OCT Rick Miles – RF ATL Jake Evans

If the golden FL battery had a love child named Preston Preston, I would be morally obligated to sign him and have him bat cleanup. While pitching. Dei ludi pilae et basium volunt.

It will also be the only way for me to cope with the way Rich Monck got absolutely snuffed! I am – I am without words!! (huffs and puffs)

[UltimateAverageGuy]

Thank you so much for the career leaderboards! Season 100 is almost here, nuts. Few questions I’m curious about….

What would you consider your favorite Raccoon team of all time?

Who had what you consider the best single season Raccoon batting and pitching year ever?

What would be your all time Raccoon lineup?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by UltimateAverageGuy

Thank you so much for the career leaderboards! Season 100 is almost here, nuts. Few questions I’m curious about….

What would you consider your favorite Raccoon team of all time?

It’s probably still the 1989-1996 dynasty, which was usually pounding out the runs and had a very fierce rotation to match; how else do you win the division six outta eight years? The 2040s dynasty had five pennants in a row, but had a pitching staff that outside of Wheats and Sadaharu Okuda was usually held together with duct tape. Remember that one World Series we won with basically no starters?

Other peaks in franchise history, like the late 2010s and late 2020s were usually from the mold of strong pitching, just enough offense; overall, while I adore ace starting pitchers, I find teams that score a lot more fun to be around overall. It prevents you from being down 3-0 in Game 5 and thinking, well, now we’re ******. An 800-run team is never out of it. Four of the five highest-scoring Raccoons teams of all time were from the 1989-1996 era, with just 2044 sneaking in there in fourth place. Last season clocks in at sixth.

Originally Posted by UltimateAverageGuy

Who had what you consider the best single season Raccoon batting and pitching year ever?

Jonny Toner, 2017, going 18-9 with a 1.94 ERA and 293 strikeouts, a career high he matched again in 2018. The team had no offense, though, so he didn’t win the triple crown that year, missing out on wins. He *did* win two triple crowns in 2018 and 2020, but with higher ERA’s (2.21, 2.32).

On the batting side, Tetsu Osanai batted .355 with 35 homers and 140 RBI, slugging .600, in 1989. It’s the only time a Raccoon slugged .600, the only time a Raccoon had an OPS over 1 (1.004), but he didn’t win the triple crown that year either, falling short in homers. He had won a triple crown in 1986, though, his first full year with the Raccoons.

Originally Posted by UltimateAverageGuy

What would be your all time Raccoon lineup?

That’s tough. I’m not gonna make a lineup per se, because ultimately you’d end up with somebody batting eighth that would never bat eighth for reals. Let me try to put a roster together, roughly, doesn’t have to be *25* guys:

SP: Kisho Saito, Nick Brown, Jonny Toner, Tadasu Abe, Hector Santos (the last four of which were briefly teammates in 2016-18 while Brownie was on his way out and while the last three were establishing themselves as a murderous 1-2-3 punch in the rotation … whenever health permitted)

RP: Grant West, Angel Casas (both in the HOF), Richard Cunningham (who was always stuck behind West on the 1980s Coons), Josh Rella, Matt Walters; after that they’re all washing together a bit. I think one awesome reliever that always got **** on for no reason because I was mad at the team overall in those early 2000s would be Dan Nordahl. Another great reliever that was terminally stuck (behind Casas in this case) would be Raw Lock- … Law Rockburn.

C: a notoriously hard to fill hole for this team, always. The best long-term catcher (outside of 1- or 2-year rentals) the Raccoons had was probably the long-forgotten Sam Dadswell, who was let go when his contract expired in ’89 because, hey, we have this David Vinson kid… and… ya. Vinson and Elias Matías Tovias Diaz are the longest-tenured Raccoons backstops, but both of them posted more sub-100 OPS+ seasons than above-100 OPS+ seasons. Probably one of them for the second C slot anyway.

1B: Tetsu Osanai, before he became too fat. Note that Joel Starr’s 6-year tenure at 1B is the longest since Adrian Quebell left in *50 years*, so this position has also been rather painful

2B/SS: The young “Berto” Ramos, Matt Waters, and Yoshi Nomura can hold this area down perfectly well. Yes, I screamed by head off about Lonzo for 15 years, but the young Berto was just so much of a better hitter, he just had a more frightful decline.

3B: Matt Nunley. Another one of those hard-to-fill positions, and outside of Maldo passing through there in his 30s the Raccoons haven’t had a great third baseman since. And Nunley wasn’t a *great* hitter, but he showed up to work every day for 19 years (minus two injury-wrecked seasons), and was a ROTY and won Gold Gloves and Platinum Sticks and rings in 2026 and 2028, although he never led the CL in *anything*. Also, those BBQ grills are AWESOME.

OF: I’ll run out of spots here. Daniel Hall was the first strong hitter the Raccoons brought up (and the first player drafted by the Coons paws down), to the degree that I turned him into my Steam alias. Vern Kinner and Neil Reece were a big part of why that 1989-96 team slapped so hard. Kinnear left after the 1997 collapse, but endured in history with a World Series-winning knock (for the Titans, in case I haven’t mentioned it for more than ten minutes). Cookie Carmona, Manny Fernandez, Jesus Maldonado, and even Armando Herrera came later and I can’t pick two of those four, so the team just has to have seven outfielders.

Honorable mentions: Mark Dawson, David Brewer (also a victim of ’97), Al Martin, Adrian Quebell (grumble grumble), Kevin Harenberg, Rich Hereford, Troy Greenway, Rafael Gomez, Bryce Toohey, Chris Gowin, and Pucks for hitters, and there’s probably a lot more. For more pitchers: “Old Chris” Powell, Scott Wade, (the first) Jason Turner, Raimundo “Pooky” Beato, Jung-hoo Umberger, Bernie Chavez, Ignacio del Rio, Raffaello Sabre, Victor Merino, Seisaku Taki, and of course Wheats.

[Westheim]

Besides starting pitching (and the perpetual underwater construction site that was the bullpen), the Raccoons would also look at opportunities at least to fix that one spot in the rotation that had been really inefficient in 2064, shortstop. Yukio Aoki and Pablo Novelo had largely split the duties there right down the middle between them while also spotting second and third base for other players. They hit .262/.354/.325 and .263/.319/.385 between them, both getting roughly 360 PA each. They came out below a 100 OPS+, even while mostly facing opposite-handed pitching.

Casey Ramsey was a free agent, coming off the Condors. He was a 30-year-old shortstop, consistently hitting well over league average, with 123 and 129 OPS+ seasons in 2063-64. He was quite good (but not great) on defense, had quite a bit of speed, and while he wasn’t a slugger, and didn’t draw many walks, he would add another .300 bat to the lineup. The drawback was that he was a type A free agent and looking for over $6M a year. He’d also be batting like seventh. It was probably too much for a #7 batter.

Behind Ramsey, there wasn’t a lot in free agent shortstops. The Loggers’ Danny Miller and Titans’ Jonathan Watson had never found league average, ex-Gold Sock (and longtime Titan) Willie de Leon was quite erratic season-to-season, and with his lack of range was better suited for third base anyway. Ryan Spehar was 35.

Maybe it was better to keep that sub-standard platoon in place for the time being… at least they were making less than $1M between them.

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November 24 – INF Nick Kelly (.271, 13 HR, 201 RBI) is traded from the Blue Sox to the Wolves in exchange for INF Myung-joo Park (.279, 5 HR, 130 RBI).
November 28 – The Stars pry Rookie of the Year RF/LF Juan de Luna (.267, 24 HR, 79 RBI) away from the Scorpions for 1B/OF Jin Imamura (.283, 22 HR, 136 RBI) and a prospect.
November 28 – Vancouver sends right-hander Duarte Damasceno (40-38, 4.63 ERA, 6 SV) to the Knights, along with a prospect, for C Willie Villafan (.232, 22 HR, 99 RBI).
December 1 – Rule 5 Draft: 12 players are drafted onto new teams. The Thunder draft AAA 1B Jon Herbert (.248, 10 HR, 65 RBI in 2064) away from the Raccoons.
December 2 – L.A. acquires INF Chris Sullivan (.261, 17 HR, 200 RBI) from the Rebels in exchange for MR Allen Tinsley (21-13, 3.69 ERA, 7 SV) and #31 prospect 1B Dan Vaughn.

[Westheim]

The Raccoons slept on Ricardo Montoya and Casey Ramsey, but just ahead of the winter meetings won the services of Shoma Nakayama, who also came without stamina issues. Unbothered by such minisculities, the Crusaders had by then thrown $53M at starters that were a stretch to go six innings at a time.

In other news, Jack Kozak changed his number from an afterthought’s #43 to a more competitive #6, giving the Raccoons a full TWO current players with single-digit numbers, of which only four were available at all at this point. Nakayama in the meantime grabbed #26, which had last been worn by Jeff Applecore.

Further down the pile of shame, Isaac McDaniel suffered a broken nose and chipped tooth stepping on a rake while cleaning up his garden before winter came, which was not expected to impact his readiness for Opening Day, although the chipped tooth meant he could only eat liquids and whatever fit into the blender for a few days, causing him immediate and life-threatening weight loss for sure.



+++

December 1 – The Crusaders snatch up ex-SFW SP Ricardo Montoya (160-66, 2.71 ERA) for two years and $11.4M.
December 3 – Atlanta secures the services of ex-TIJ SS Casey Ramsey (.299, 73 HR, 548 RBI) for $22.4M over four years.
December 4 – The Raccoons grab 27-year-old right-hander Shoma Nakayama, a free agent from Japan, for $18M over five years.
December 4 – The Crusaders rush to sign another starting pitcher with low stamina, throwing $41.7M over six years at ex-OCT SP Jerry Washington (57-46, 3.00 ERA, 111 SV).
December 4 – Former Knights OF/1B Jesus Martinez (.255, 109 HR, 452 RBI) signs a $2.44M deal for just 2065 with the Falcons.
December 8 – The Crusaders sign former Warriors 2B Mike DeFusco (.273, 102 HR, 731 RBI) to a 2-year deal worth $5.68M. DeFusco and Montoya were teammates in Sioux Falls for 12 years and would continue to do so in New York.
December 9 – The Knights grab ex-BOS 2B/3B Nick Nye (.311, 214 HR, 952 RBI) on a 2-yr, $12.2M contract.
December 10 – Vancouver signs former Rebels and Indians LF/RF Nick Vaughn (.272, 132 HR, 489 RBI) to a $20.8M deal over five years.
December 10 – OF Tony Garcia (.288, 6 HR, 144 RBI) is traded from L.A. to Charlotte along with $900k in cash for INF Adan Yniguez (.264, 9 HR, 98 RBI) and a prospect.
December 10 – The Indians trade C/1B Alex Gomez (.252, 96 HR, 465 RBI) to the Aces for 32-yr old infielder Miguel Falcon (.245, 3 HR, 47 RBI) and #120 prospect SP Jorge Flores.
December 11 – The Thunder sign up ex-DAL SP Jose Ortega (114-89, 3.81 ERA) for four years and $12.48M.
December 11 – The Loggers acquire SP Nick Waldron (7-13, 3.92 ERA) from the Scorpions for two prospects including #180 SP Josh Richardson.
December 12 – The Miners acquire outfielder Sal Andon (.292, 13 HR, 73 RBI) from the Knights for SP Andres Lopez (53-73, 4.33 ERA) and #40 prospect SP Ricky McMahan.
December 12 – In a different move, the Knights deal infielder Ralph Lange (.249, 37 HR, 210 RBI) to the Pacifics for the services of MR Bill Cortez (3-1, 4.37 ERA, 1 SV) and the same unranked prospect that L.A. received from the Falcons two days earlier.
December 13 – Ex-VAN/ATL 1B Jose Campos (.270, 162 HR, 680 RBI) joins the Miners on a 4-yr, $17.6M deal.
December 14 – The Raccoons acquire 2B/SS Franklin Serrano (.288, 26 HR, 193 RBI) from the Cyclones in exchange for OF Rafael Valencia (.249, 6 HR, 42 RBI).

+++

The Cyclones came up with that minor deal at the end of the winter meetings there. I had no designs for either player, but spicing up the Novelo/Aoki battle for shortstop with another guy struggling to hit league average sounded like a thing I’d do.

We were still sounding out the free agent market for old-age starting pitchers at this point, and were not close to signing any bullpen reinforcements at all, despite not blowing $7M on Montoya to begin with.

Instead the Gold Sox blew $4.62M (over three years) on Justin DeRose, so who was the league’s biggest idiot now??

Please also peruse the Hall of Fame ballot, which at the top included another player spending a few years with the Raccoons, including one ring season at the very end of the five-pennants dynasty, Alex Adame.

[Westheim]

More pitching arrives! And we were actively engaged with several relievers, some even with names you’ll recognize, going into the new year!

+++

December 26 – The Crusaders keep dipping into the ex-Warriors by signing 3B Steve Dilly (.251, 168 HR, 781 RBI) to a $3.76M contract for 2065.
December 27 – 1B Belchior Fresco (.269, 152 HR, 693 RBI), who played for the Rebs and Crusaders in ’64, signs a 2-yr, $8.08M contract with the Stars.
December 28 – The Raccoons announce the addition of former Rebels SP Jeff Crowley (110-112, 4.09 ERA). The 35-year-old right-hander signs a 3-yr, $13.56M contract, the last year being a vesting option.
December 29 – The Thunder sign ex-POR SP Tyler Riddle (110-72, 2.98 ERA) to a $12M deal over two years. The Raccoons receive compensation in the form of a supplemental-round and a second-round pick held by the Thunder.
January 3 – Oklahoma adds more pitching with the addition of former Knights starter Brian Fuqua (83-92, 3.98 ERA) on a 2-yr, $12.2M contract.
January 3 – Vancouver signs up 33-yr old ex-Crusaders righty SP Ryan Musgrave (90-97, 3.70 ERA) to a 2-yr, $4.96M contract.
January 7 – For some reason, the Knights deal OF Johnny Parker (.294, 28 HR, 260 RBI) and almost $1.5M in cash to the Thunder for 1B Justin Savalli (.137, 1 HR, 5 RBI).
January 8 – Former Capitals LF/CF Cory Oldfield (.257, 98 HR, 549 RBI) signs a 2-y, $6.56M contract with Sacramento.
January 17 – The Titans lure CL Jason Rhodes (35-30, 3.02 ERA, 188 SV) away from the Crusaders with a 2-yr, $9.24M contract.

+++

The Thunder were the fifth-worst option to sign Riddle at that point in time, giving us the eighth pick in the second round, which had originally been held by the Crusaders, but had already changed paws twice before it got to us. Together with our preserved #19 pick and the supplemental-round pick, we could probably expect three selections inside the top 50 for the upcoming draft, and four in the top 60; there were also no type A free agents still around that would make sense on the roster, so once again I had managed to not make the pounce and instead squirrel away the acorns for more first-round disappointment.

Crowley figures to be the #4 starter behind Elling, Alba, and Nakayama. A groundballer and a steady and consistent veteran, he will certainly benefit from the improved defense on the Raccoons, and we’re expecting for some decent seasons. The vesting option required him to pitch 170 innings in 2066 to trigger. That still allows us to sneak Chance Fox in there, with a threat of Jarod Morris if he’s in the 5’s again with his ERA after four, five, six starts. Yes, I considered the rotation complete with that move. Silly me!

Kelly Konecny signed with the Gold Sox for $1.26M;

+++

After a 17-year career exclusively spent with the Gold Sox, infielder Ivan Villa has been elected to the Hall of Fame. The Dominican switch-hitter won a pile of accolades and awards during his career, including three Player of the Year titles, four championships, six playoff series MVP awards, and six Gold Gloves. He also smashed pitching throughout his career, winning seven home run titles in the Federal League, or half of the full seasons he played. He also led the league in RBI four times and in stolen bases once, but despite several .300 seasons never won a batting title and thus didn’t put a triple crown together. There was hardly a sensible way of pitching to him; for his career he batted .290/.318/.490 with 2,452 hits, 414 home runs, and 1,553 RBI, along with 327 stolen bases. His 48 home runs in the 2049 season are the second-highest tally in league history behind Gil Rockwell’s 2015 49-homer season, and his 149 RBI matched the ABL record set the previous year by Tylor Cecil. Villa drove in 149 runs again the year after that. The mark still stands, since matched by Tommy Pritchard in 2062.

Full voting results:

DEN 2B Ivan Villa – 1st – 95.0 – INDUCTED
SFW LF Mario Villa – 1st – 52.3
DEN 3B Ronnie Thompson – 4th – 48.1
??? LF Eddie Moreno – 2nd – 44.4
IND LF Danny Rivera – 2nd – 31.1
??? CL Mike Lynn – 2nd – 17.4
??? SS Alex Adame – 1st – 16.2
??? SP Matt Sealock – 5th – 12.9
DEN CF Sandy Castillo – 2nd – 5.8
OCT SS Ryan Cox – 4th – 5.4
WAS C Mitch Korfhage – 1st – 5.0
??? SP Bruce Mark jr. – 1st – 4.6 – DROPPED
DAL SP Dave Hils – 3rd – 4.6 – DROPPED
ATL SP Brian Buttress – 6th – 4.1 – DROPPED
RIC 1B Manny Liberos – 2nd – 3.7 – DROPPED
??? CL Trent O’Sullivan – 2nd – 2.9 – DROPPED
??? 3B Jose Rivas – 3rd – 2.9 – DROPPED
CIN 3B Jesus Burgos – 4th – 2.9 – DROPPED
VAN CL Sam Gibson – 1st – 2.5 – DROPPED
CIN CL Ross Mitchell – 2nd – 2.5 – DROPPED
??? CL David Williams – 1st – 1.7 – DROPPED
WAS SP Sean Fowler – 1st – 1.2 – DROPPED
POR SP Jason Wheatley – 3rd – 1.2 – DROPPED
VAN CL Bernardino Risso – 1st – 0.4 – DROPPED

[Westheim]

January 21 – Just six weeks after signing a 2-year contract with the Crusaders, 34-year-old 2B Mike DeFusco abruptly retires instead, citing chronic back pain from repeated disc injuries. DeFusco batted .273 with 102 homers and 731 RBI, plus 194 stolen bases, and won a Gold Glove in a 14-year career with the Warriors.
January 21 – The Pacifics sign ex-RIC SP Cory Ritter (70-128, 4.99 ERA) to a hard to explain 5-year, $30.72M contract.
January 23 – The Raccoons sign OF/2B Corey Garmon (.278, 3 HR, 276 RBI), most recently with the Knights, to a $750k contract.
January 24 – Portland also adds left-handed MR Sansao Tyson (26-38, 4.27 ERA, 53 SV) with a $850k contract for the 2065 season. Tyson was with the Titans the previous season.
January 24 – 2B/SS Ryan Spehar (.259, 65 HR, 526 RBI) signs with the Titans for the second offseason in a row despite being traded to New York partway through the 2064 season. The 35-year-old will make $2.32M for his troubles.
January 25 – The Falcons acquire lefty swingman Ryan De Jong (25-20, 4.52 ERA, 15 SV) from the Cyclones in exchange for two prospects.
January 26 – The busy bees in Portland announce the signing of 33-year-old ex-SAL MR Cruz Madrid (50-41, 4.14 ERA, 108 SV) to a 2-year, $3M contract.
January 29 – The Thunder send INF Miguel Veguilla (.279, 90 HR, 607 RBI) to the Condors, along with Rule 5 pick 1B Jon Herbert, for LF/RF Alf Mendez (.279, 47 HR, 280 RBI).
February 14 – The Crusaders trade LF/RF/2B David Milian (.293, 21 HR, 224 RBI) and cash to the Miners in a trade for 1B Mike Velazquez (.272, 30 HR, 143 RBI) and a prospect.

+++

Garmon was signed as backup outfielder. We specifically wanted a right-handed stick in there since up to that point we had only Kozak for a right-handed batting outfielder that was definitely going to be on the roster come Opening Day. Malcolm Spicer and Jose Corral would probably be on the corners, batting left-handed, with Kozak in center, which was definitely not a great defensive setup. Whether Randy Tallent was going to make it was uncertain, and Marco Campos and Jorge Moreno, who were still lingering on the extended roster, certainly weren’t gonna.

The other two signings were supposed to bolster the bullpen, but I was past being confident of just throwing a functioning bullpen together at this point, so parental guidance would continue to be advised in Raccoons games from the seventh inning onwards in 2065. By the time we signed up Cruz Madrid, the 40-man roster was full and Jorge Moreno ended up on waivers to facilitate Madrid’s addition to the roster.

For former Critters, Dave Blackshire had $2.2M thrown at him by the Thunder … for one season, too! For Ryan Harmer it was $1.14M from the Knights; the Warriors gave $1.76M to Phil Baker, and also took on Nick Robinson, who made only one start for the Condors last season, for two years and $5.2M; Takenori Tanizaki signed with the Condors for $990k; Mike Hall got a round $1M from Sacramento; Adam Peltier also joined the Warriors for $2M;

[Westheim]

The Raccoons were scratching around the edges of the roster in February and March. Centerfield defense looked like it was going to be one sore spot on the roster, with no entirely reasonable option between the apparent starting three of Spicer, Kozak, and Corral, and even the backups still hanging around the roster (Campos, Garmon, Tallent) were casual defenders in centerfield at best.

At one point there was a deal on the table that would have sent Ben Morris back from the Warriors to the Raccoons for a reliever of some description (maybe even Kurihara, who was beneath consideration for a roster spot at this stage), but that had more to do with the Warriors’ wish to distance themselves from Morris, who spent most of the season with various ailments and only had 146 at-bats. What a promising career, entirely derailed and burned by injuries at the ripe old age of 27.

We also weren’t hot on a left-hander in that roster spot and in the end I sighed loudly and didn’t make any other moves, instead hoping for the waiver wire on Opening Day to find a right-handed or switch-hitting centerfielder that would make sense as fifth outfielder – probably at the expense of Randy Tallent, but he had arrived as a waiver claim, he could also get replaced with a waiver claim, especially after hitting a flat .200 last year – which was even an upgrade on his career average.

+++

February 18 – The Thunder pounce on former Stars RF/LF Roberto Almanza (.307, 6 HR, 377 RBI), who signs a 7-year, $40.26M deal with Oklahoma City.
February 18 – The Condors sign up ex-BOS CL Nick Leigh (33-37, 3.58 ERA, 76 SV) to a 2-yr, $2.86M contract.
February 23 – Indy adds former Gold Sox SP Raul Ontiveros (76-87, 3.87 ERA) on a $2.72M deal for 2065.
March 1 – The Warriors trade SP Kenny Donnelly (37-30, 3.94 ERA) to the Scorpions for 2B/SS Justin Finnegan (.265, 33 HR, 173 RBI) and a prospect.
March 5 – The Falcons trade for Boston’s SP Jayden Craddock (84-69, 3.47 ERA) and $3M in cash, parting in turn with OF/1B Joe Washington (.244, 45 HR, 221 RBI) and a prospect.
March 12 – In a trade sending shock waves through California, the Bayhawks trade LF Grant Anker (.279, 168 HR, 677 RBI) to the Scorpions for 1B Jared McLaughlin (.279, 49 HR, 220 RBI) and an unranked prospect.
April 4 – Two days away from Opening Day, ex-IND 2B Mike Weber (.245, 38 HR, 220 RBI) hooks up with the Thunder for a 2-year deal worth $4.96M.

+++

Rumor has it that Bayhawks GM Juan Torres was forced to deal away one of the big earners by the team’s owners just to get the team under budget for the new season. How that would affect a team that already lost 99 games *with* their best players and biggest earners in 2064 was probably not that hard to guess.

Joey Christopher was another former Critter to sign a new contract with another team. Joe-Chris would get $600k from the Wolves; Nick Fowler got $540k from the Warriors; Elmer Maldonado joined the Miners for $980k;

[Westheim]

2065 PORTLAND RACCOONS – Opening Day Roster (first set in parenthesis shows 2064 stats, second set career stats; players with an * are off season acquisitions;

SP Josh Elling, 30, B:R, T:R (16-8, 3.50 ERA | 84-85, 3.59 ERA) – improved a lot over his first season in the brown shirt (with three to go) and his walk numbers were a big part of that, getting them down to a near-career low of 3.0/9. Nevertheless wouldn’t have come close to starting on Opening Day if Tyler Riddle hadn’t left through free agency.
SP Shoma Nakayama *, 27, B:R, T:R (no stats) – the Raccoons’ annual attempt to find something big in Japan that would at least hold up reasonably well in the ABL, Nakayama had a well-rounded 4-pitch arsenal with a 94mph heater, good stamina, and fine control. We can’t wait to find out how it will all go wrong this time.
SP Angel Alba, 28, B:R, T:R (15-12, 4.18 ERA | 45-41, 3.78 ERA) – his ERA seems to be going up every year even when the surrounding numbers largely stay the same. Dingers are an issue for him, leading the league in that category in 2063 and coming close again in 2024. At least he was keeping his walks reasonably low to regulate traffic on base.
SP Jeff Crowley *, 35, B:R, T:R (10-14, 4.22 ERA | 110-112, 4.09 ERA) – veteran Canadian import (but never a Canadien) with four decent-to-good pitches and a track record of competence and endurance, which would hopefully make the 3-year deal less of a folly.
SP Chance Fox, 30, B:L, T:L (12-10, 4.25 ERA | 77-64, 3.78 ERA) – at this point, you’re delulu to hope that Fox will ever turn it around and become the star that we hoped for when we took him #3 in the draft 11 years ago. He is usually a very competent mid-rotation starter that just happens to insist to get it on the snout really hard at least once a month – although it was more like twice a month in his worst season on record in 2064; only narrowly beat out Jarod Morris for this job and there’s no guarantee that he won’t suck his way into the garbage slot by May.

SP/MR Jarod Morris, 31, B:R, T:R (9-7, 4.11 ERA | 42-41, 4.15 ERA) – this three-pitch right-hander went 12-5 as starter for the Indians just three years ago, but fell on hard times with the Indians, then the Raccoons in the meantime. He started 2064 with 20 innings without an unearned run in garbage relief, but as soon as he replaced Jeff Applegate in the rotation sunk back into mediocrity. Three sound pitches, but no sparkle.
MR Sansao Tyson *, 34, B:L, T:L (1-1, 4.23 ERA, 1 SV | 26-38, 4.27 ERA, 53 SV) – left-hander with a sinker that hopefully won’t turn into a stinker in his third CL North station. Joined as free agent and spent most of his career walking everything with legs as a Logger.
MR Jesse Dover, 23, B:R, T:R (2-3, 2.44 ERA, 4 SV | 2-3, 2.41 ERA, 5 SV) – the Raccoons three years ago were taken enough by Dover’s fastball and slider that they took him with the #19 pick in the draft and after a cup of coffee in ’63 had themselves a competent if unspectacular reliever in the youngster who aspires to be a closer some day.
MR Cruz Madrid *, 33, B:R, T:R (8-4, 4.03 ERA, 14 SV | 50-41, 4.14 ERA, 108 SV) – veteran free agent signing with a cutter/fork combo and a menacing-looking 12-homer season for Indy a few years back.
SU Juan Carrillo, 33, B:R, T:R (4-5, 4.47 ERA, 1 SV | 49-25, 3.47 ERA, 15 SV) – this curveball-throwing right-hander had his best-ever season with the Raccoons in 2063 if measured by WAR. That was also his first season on a 3-year deal in Portland. It also wildly didn’t hold up when he posted his WORST season by WAR in 2064.
SU Isaac McDaniel, 32, B:R, T:L (1-3, 4.73 ERA | 5-7, 2.62 ERA, 2 SV) – had a great season in 2063, but with his heater/curve arsenal drowned along with the rest of the pen for pretty much all of 2064. Walks were down but homers were up, and maybe he can’t count on getting a .207 BABIP behind him every year as he did in ’63.
CL Jon McGinley, 28, B:L, T:L (0-5, 4.05 ERA, 39 SV | 25-32, 3.18 ERA, 177 SV) – the Raccoons landed a four-year closer (from a dismal team like the Warriors, admittedly) in trade last winter, and the guy had not even turned 27 by then! Of course it was all too good to be true and McGinley had a horrendous season in Portland, then was too expensive to turn into either minced meat or a prospect with hopes for the future...

C Bruce Burkart, 34, B:R, T:R (.322, 6 HR, 43 RBI | .262, 76 HR, 413 RBI) – The Raccoons traded for an established catcher with three years left on his contract by bringing in Burkart from the Caps. His first season in Portland was his best by offense (ignoring qualifying for the batting title or nah), but repeated injuries decimated his effectiveness to the point where he only appeared in 98 games.
C Marcos Arellano, 28, B:R, T:R (.293, 2 HR, 35 RBI | .274, 11 HR, 108 RBI) – Arellano mostly tries to curry favor with his defense, and was somewhat lackluster on offense in his first season as the primary catcher. The addition of Burkart replaced him in that role although repeated injuries to the new #1 gave him ample chance to put his absolute mediocrity on display for almost 300 plate appearances across the season.

1B Joel Starr, 32, B:L, T:L (.263, 15 HR, 72 RBI | .279, 109 HR, 472 RBI) – although we’d still wish for more power from our first baseman with basically a retirement contract on the books, at least he’s posted steady above-average production for the last couple of season. He also puts out 30-ish doubles and triples each year and can scoop the odd base.
3B/2B/SS Rich Monck, 28, B:L, T:R (.308, 31 HR, 116 RBI | .295, 148 HR, 498 RBI) – nobody *really* knew how Monck wound up with the Raccoons from Cincy two winters ago, but the Raccoons sure found use for a 37-homer stick in the cleanup spot. So far all of this has held up in Portland, and he even found a base of his own in ’64, although despite leading the CL in homers and RBI’s he didn’t win any season award for his troubles.
3B/2B/SS/RF Victor Morales, 23, B:R, T:R (.293, 9 HR, 61 RBI | .277, 11 HR, 85 RBI) – was an error sink in his first full season in the majors at the hot corner, and I don’t think youth will do as an explanation for that; at least he batted above league average and didn’t get into any stupid stunts as kids are prone to do…
2B/SS/3B/LF/RF Yukio Aoki, 28, B:L, T:R (.262, 3 HR, 35 RBI | .262, 3 HR, 35 RBI) – exceptionally skilled with the glove, but he was a casual hitter even in Japan, and both him and Novelo arrived without ABL experience at the start of last season. Neither of them impressed with the bat, and somehow that listless platoon is allowed to keep going this year.
2B/SS/3B Pablo Novelo, 26, B:R, T:R (.263, 6 HR, 44 RBI | .263, 6 HR, 44 RBI) – the other half of that listless platoon with no claim to fame.
2B/SS Franklin Serrano *, 28, B:R, T:R (.284, 3 HR, 24 RBI | .288, 26 HR, 193 RBI) – fine defensive middle infielder creating even more competition for the shortstop position without actually improving the product on the field.

LF/1B/RF Malcolm Spicer, 20, B:L, T:L (.362, 1 HR, 6 RBI | .362, 1 HR, 6 RBI) – looted from the Thunder in the Nick Nye trade at the deadline in 2062, Nye had a September call-up and won himself a starting spot on the Opening Day roster rather convincingly with a steady bat and some speed (5 SB in just 15 games). Could use a bit more patience to get on base even more, but he will never ever hit for power while playing a power position.
LF/1B/CF Jack Kozak, 30, B:R, T:R (.260, 24 HR, 92 RBI | .248, 60 HR, 221 RBI) – despite striking out a lot and being always a bit misplaced wherever you put him on the field, Jack Kozak arrived for good by finally posting a qualifying tally of plate appearances in his age 29 season, playing in every game and socking a career-high 24 homers and 92 RBI. I am a bit worried about moving this asset to centerfield where he could break his little neck…
RF/LF Jose Corral, 24, B:L, T:L (.293, 17 HR, 71 RBI | .279, 29 HR, 150 RBI) – posted his second well-above-average OPS in two full seasons in the majors and like Kozak put up career highs in homers and RBI while at it. While he has some range limitations, he sports a great throwing arm, and he has one of the keenest eyes on the roster, which means that we’re gonna run out a potentially slugger in the leadoff spot more often than not, although he’s regularly held away from lefty pitching for good reasons.
LF/RF/2B/CF Corey Garmon *, 31, B:R, T:R (.275, 0 HR, 14 RBI | .278, 3 HR, 276 RBI) – free agent signing with ZERO power but some defensive backup prowess and on-base and speed to offer; could be a frequent late-inning defensive replacement in centerfield, which is a bit of a sore spot currently.
LF/RF/1B/2B/3B/CF/SS Randy Tallent, 28, B:R, T:R (.200, 4 HR, 22 RBI | .199, 13 HR, 53 RBI) – claimed off waivers from the Elks in April of last season, Tallent collected just over 200 at-bats while being a basically awful batter, which was right in line with his career numbers (.574 OPS from 194 games). He only made the roster because of his super utility status and because we still hope for a surprise tallent breakout.

On disabled list: Nobody.

Otherwise unavailable: Nobody.

Other roster movement:
MR Victor Herrera, 24, B:L, T:L (0-2, 3.06 ERA | 0-2, 3.06 ERA) – optioned to AAA; left-hander with awful control that somehow escaped harsher punishment despite deserving it in his first 22 games in the majors last year.
MR John Nesbitt, 26, B:R, T:R (1-0, 4.26 ERA | 5-0, 3.31 ERA) – optioned to AAA; really basic fastball/splitter combo, but at least he shook off the 14 walks in 12 innings from his 2063 cups of coffee for a more basic 4.3 BB/9 in 22 games last year
MR Rich Read, 27, B:R, T:R (0-0, 7.94 ERA | 2-2, 5.05 ERA, 1 SV) – waived and DFA’ed; his stuff has not played in the majors across a number of short-term assignments, and I no longer have a hunch that he’s ever gonna be claimed off waivers.
MR J.J. Sensabaugh, 32, B:R, T:R (4-2, 7.80 ERA | 16-13, 4.95 ERA) – waived and DFA’ed; the failed starter that somehow comes back from his quad-A gig in St. Pete each and every year hoped to make the roster as a long man, but we know better than to *plan* on giving him the baseball. It just happens. Again and again and again.
C Miguel Guinea, 25, B:L, T:R (.250, 0 HR, 1 RBI | .204, 0 HR, 2 RBI) – optioned to AAA; lackluster batter with rather average defense that only slipped into a September call-up because Burkart was out of commission.
C Scott Lawson, 28, B:R, T:R (.256, 1 HR, 6 RBI | .226, 3 HR, 22 RBI) – optioned to AAA; after a full season as Rule 5 selection and backup to Arellano in ’63, Lawson was only up sporadically as injury replacement for Burkart last year. His claim to fame is his strong defense.
2B/3B/SS/RF Joe Gardner, 25, B:S, T:R (.213, 0 HR, 3 RBI | .208, 0 HR, 7 RBI) – optioned to AAA; creaky defense, and hits for neither average nor power, and won’t draw a walk either…
LF/RF/CF Marco Campos, 26, B:R, T:R (.202, 1 HR, 12 RBI | .248, 2 HR, 34 RBI) – optioned to AAA; good defender that just can’t hit. While he got under 100 at-bats in 2064, he was run out relentlessly in 2063 and did only marginally less awfully.

Everybody not mentioned by now has already been waived, reassigned, or outrighted to the hot dog stand on the concourse by now.

OPENING DAY LINEUP:

Vs. RHP: RF Corral – LF Spicer – CF Kozak – 2B Monck – 1B Starr – C Burkart – 3B Morales – SS Aoki – P
Vs. LHP: RF Corral (Tallent) – 3B Morales – 1B Kozak – 2B Monck – C Burkart – LF Spicer – CF Garmon – SS Novelo (Serrano) – P

Tallent would of course not bat leadoff when spelling Corral against southpaws. In practice Tallent can sub for basically anybody in a pinch, which is his sole redeeming quality. Kozak is a crucial lynchpin in the lineup against righties, surrounded by four left-handed batters.

OFF SEASON CHANGES:

The pencil pushers at BNN scoffed at the Raccoons’ offseason, ranking us 19th with a loss of -3.3 WAR, which was exactly what Tyler Riddle took with him to Oklahoma. Elmer Maldonado cost 1.4 WAR in free agency. Crowley added 2.5 WAR as the biggest FA impact on the plus side, and we made a single trade all winter for Serrano, which turned out to be almost neutral.

Of course, there’s no rapport on Nakayama, who should easily post a good enough WAR to spiritually get the Coons at least even.

Top 5: Crusaders (+9.4), Thunder (+9.0), Knights (+6.5), Scorpions (+3.8), Canadiens (+3.4)
Bottom 5: Buffaleos (-3.4), Miners (-3.8), Aces (-6.1), Indians (-9.6), Warriors (-10.8)

The remaining CL North teams were the Loggers in 9th (+0.3) and Titans in 13th (-1.7).

PREDICTION TIME:

The Raccoons won 88 games (a bit by surprise, at least for me, coming in 13 games above my doom and gloom expectations) on the strength of the best offense in the CL (another surprise), even though the pitching was a mess throughout. While we kept the offense together, the pitching was rebuilt with four free agents, and hopefully in a meaningful way. It wouldn’t hurt when some of the problem kids from last year (Fox, McGinley, Carrillo, McDaniel…) that were still around could work out the kinks again and get back to former prowess.

Whether the winter was a big improvement though is up for debate. At some point we ran just out of budget, too, with just $1.5M left in the coffers, and that was without blowing a stupid amount of dollars on Ricardo Montoya.

PLAYER DEVELOPMENT:

For the second straight season the Raccoons slipped five spots in the prospect rankings, from 11th to 16th this time. While the losses from last year’s ranked prospects (more in a second) were unsurprising, it was a bit depressing that replacements to the list seemed hard to come by. Will we ever figure out drafting?

Last year the Coons had seven ranked prospects, five of them in the top 100. This year we had eight ranked prospects, but only four in the top 100, and even then we were down a bunch of positions rank-by-rank throughout the ranked boys we had.

We no longer had #13 Jesse Dover and #48 Pablo Novelo, who spent a full season with the Critters in the majors and thus obviously no longer qualified. The same was true for #29 John Nesbitt despite only a partial season with the Raccoons and getting sent back to St. Petersburg on Opening Day. So that was the three top-ranking prospects already wiped… Furthermore, #62 Glen Vankrimpen and #158 Daniel Lopez were no longer ranked in the top 200.

37th (+65) – AAA SP Nick Walla, 24 – 2059 second-round pick by Raccoons
44th (new) – A SP Alexis Barron, 18 – 2064 international free agent signed by Raccoons
55th (new) – A INF Brian Hills, 19 – 2064 second-round pick by Raccoons
69th (new) – A C Andrew Farlow, 19 – 2064 first-round pick by Raccoons
111th (-27) – ML LF/1B/RF Malcolm Spicer, 20 – 2061 scouting discovery by Thunder, acquired for Nick Nye, Adam Middleton
154th (new) – AA 2B Ryan Bonner, 22 – 2061 supplemental round pick by Raccoons
197th (new) – A SP Eric Siebert, 20 – 2063 first-round pick by Raccoons

The top 10 for the franchise were completed by A OF Jesus Guerrero (2063 July IFA signing), AAA 2B/SS Carlos Cervantez (2059 July IFA signing), and A INF/LF/RF Esteban Gallegos (scouting discovery).

Finally, the top 10 overall prospects this year are:

1st (+1) – MIL ML RF/LF Carlos Dominguez, 21
2nd (new) – OCT A SS/3B A.J. Taylor, 20
3rd (+20) – LVA A RF/LF Alfredo Rosado, 19
4th (+7) – WAS AA C Manuel Rodriguez, 21
5th (+65) – BOS A LF/RF/1B Manuel Garcia, 20

6th (new) – TOP A SP Jaden Kelly, 19
7th (0) – IND AA 1B Alex Mendez, 23
8th (+18) – NAS ML SP Tony Marquez, 24
9th (new) – CHA A SP John Robinson, 19
10th (-4) – SFB AAA LF/RF Ian Streng, 24

Carlos Dominguez was not only the top prospect for the second time after 2063, but also made the Opening Day roster for the Loggers.

A.J. Taylor was all of a #39 pick in last year’s draft, so was quite a surprise to sit at #2 in these rankings. This was just six spots behind the next-highest first-time prospect, Jaden Kelly, who was taken #33. By contrast, John Robinson was taken #3 by the Falcons in the most recent draft.

A lot of new arrivals meant that seven of last year’s top 10 prospects were no longer in such a prestigious position. For some this came from pitching in the majors, like the Cyclones pair of #5 Kyle Houck, who spent all year in the Cincinnati bullpen, posting a 4.30 ERA, minus some injury time, and #9 Marc Timmons, who was run out for *92* games in his first season in the majors, posting a 4.29 ERA.

Some had mild slips, like last year’s top prospect, Buffos CL Allan Bergerud, spent all year closing games in AAA Bakersfield, but was never called up to the Buffaloes and did not make the Opening Day roster, either, for which he fell 21 spots to #22. Knights catcher Justin Hart spent the season in AA St. Louis, batting .310, fell 12 spots to #20, but in turn made the Opening Day roster. Also in that group, going seven spots down to #17, was last year’s #10, Rebels outfielder Juan Licona, who had yet to get out of single-A.

And then there were the injury stories. Jose Palominos missed half a season with injuries between the Thunder’s AA and AAA levels, and went from #3 to #11. Injuries also wrecked the season of #4 prospect L.A. SP Zach Haluska, who made just eight starts between A and AA and fell 18 spots from #4 to #22.

Next: first pitch.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (0-0) vs. Indians (0-0) – April 6-8, 2065

The Raccoons started the season with a 6-game homestand and the Indians in particular, a team that the Coons hadn’t won the season series against in four years, taking only eight games from them in ’64. The Arrowheads were looking like they were on the way down, which probably made them only more of a stepping stone.

Projected matchups:
Josh Elling (0-0) vs. Mike DeWitt (0-0)
Shoma Nakayama (0-0) vs. Raul Ontiveros (0-0)
Angel Alba (0-0) vs. Ramon Carreno (0-0)

DeWitt was the only left-hander in the Indians’ rotation.

Game 1
IND: CF E. Ramirez – 3B M. Martin – LF Dowsey – 1B Starwalt – C Atencio – RF B. Johnston – SS G. Lujan – 2B B. Ellis – P DeWitt
POR: RF Corral – 3B Morales – 1B Kozak – 2B Monck – C Burkart – LF Spicer – CF Garmon – SS Novelo – P Elling

Neither team scored the first time through the lineup in the new season, with a pair of singles from Burkart and Novelo in the second inning and them ending up stranded on the corners when Elling flew out to Bryan Johnston to end the inning. In the fourth it was the other two batters from the bottom half of the lineup, Spicer and Garmon, who got on base and were stranded when Elling grounded out to Matt Martin. I tended not to blame my pitchers for not hitting as long as they were pitching well, which Elling did through four innings, allowing just one hit and one walk so far. The Indians could not get it going against him and went silently in the next two innings as well until the Raccoons finally put something together. Malcolm Spicer, all 20 years old of him, hit a single, stole second base, and scored on Garmon’s single to left-center to put an actual run on the board in the bottom 6th. The Indians – after being comatose for the entirety of the game – then nearly got a homer from Danny Starwalt to right with one out in the seventh, but Corral picked it off the top of the fence. Vinny Atencio and Bryan Johnston then clipped a pair of 2-out hits, but were stranded on a K to Guillermo Lujan, but perhaps it was wise to get the relievers up and stretching. Corral, after taking the Starwalt drive away, then smacked a home run to send DeWitt to bed in the bottom 7th, and also rescued a 12-game hitting streak from 2064 after six months of hibernation. Elling meanwhile got two more outs before being taken over the fence by the other team’s leadoff man, Eddy Ramirez, cutting the lead in half. Cruz Madrid replaced him, got Matt Martin to pop out, and that concluded the top 8th. The Coons had a Burkart single in the bottom 8th and had Starr walked intentionally when he batted for Corey Garmon, after which Yukio Aoki batted for Novelo and hit into a double play. McGinley then got the ball in the ninth, struck out PH Miguel Falcon, but gave up a double to Starwalt. Atencio and ex-Coon Cortez Chavez then made weak outs, though. 2-1 Critters. Burkart 2-4, 2B; Garmon 1-2, BB, RBI; Novelo 1-2; Elling 7.2 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, W (1-0);

The Indians signed Keith Thompson (80-104, 4.48 ERA, 2 SV) on a deal worth $4.7M over two years that night. Thompson, lastly on the Wolves, was the last type-A free agent from the offseason. It would cost Indy their #14 pick, and Thompson was expected to start the final game of the series.

Game 2
IND: CF E. Ramirez – 3B M. Martin – LF Dowsey – 1B Starwalt – C Atencio – RF B. Johnston – SS G. Lujan – 2B B. Ellis – P Ontiveros
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – CF Kozak – 2B Monck – 1B Starr – C Burkart – 3B Morales – SS Aoki – P Nakayama

Freshly arrived in the ABL, Shoma Nakayama retired the Indians in order the first time through – almost… if it hadn’t been for Vic Morales to get right back into that freshly cleaned E column and put Vinny Atencio on base by throwing away a grounder. Nakayama struck out four Indians the first time through before Eddy Ramirez hit a single with two outs in the top 3rd. Matt Martin grounded out. The fourth got more interesting as rookie Justin Dowsey singled and Starwalt worked a walk before getting doubled off in 1-6-3 style by Atencio. Johnston flew out to Kozak to leave the rook at third base. In turn the Raccoons took the lead in the bottom 4th when Kozak singled and Rich Monck got his first hit of the year, a 2-run homer to right…! Burkart nearly hit another one, but it glanced off the top of the fence in left for a double. Morales singled, Aoki walked, and the bases were loaded for the pitcher with one out. Nakayama had marginally more success than Elling in the season opener, hitting a sac fly to Dowsey in left. Corral grounded out to leave the remaining runners on base.

The Indians got on the board with a Ben Ellis hit, a walk drawn by Ramirez, and then Martin’s RBI single to get back to 3-1 in the fifth, but Kozak immediately answered with a homer to center. Nakayama then nursed the 4-1 lead to the stretch, but got over 100 pitches doing so and would not return afterwards. McDaniel got the ball instead, which immediately started the derailment noises all around the ballpark when he smacked Dowsey in the hands with a fastball, forcing the rookie out of the game for pinch-runner Darby Laybolt (actual name!). McDaniel walked Starwalt before getting a double play grounder from Atencio to Monck in a flashback to the fourth inning. Johnston then popped out to short and the Indians left another guy, Darby Laybolt (actual name!), on third base. At least McGinley held up so far and put the Indians down in order in the ninth inning – except for another error, but not by Morales, who had been replaced with Novelo. Instead, Monck butterfingered Falcon’s pop with one out, but McGinley got out Ramirez and Martin to end the game. 4-1 Raccoons. Spicer 2-4; Kozak 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; Morales 2-3, 3B; Aoki 0-1, 2 BB; Nakayama 7.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, W (1-0);

Corral’s last-year hitting streak didn’t make it much further into the new season as he went hitless in this game.

Game 3
IND: CF E. Ramirez – 3B M. Martin – 1B Starwalt – C Atencio – RF B. Johnston – SS G. Lujan – LF Lovins – 2B B. Ellis – P K. Thompson
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – CF Kozak – 2B Monck – 1B Starr – C Burkart – 3B Morales – SS Aoki – P Alba

Alba struck out four against little resistance the first time through the order on Wednesday, but the Coons got on the horse a bit earlier this time and scored in the third inning on a Kozak double and Monck single. However, they already had EIGHT hits at that point and stranded six guys on base in three innings, while Spicer was on base and caught stealing right ahead of the pair of hits in that bottom 3rd.

Bottom 4th, Aoki singled for the ninth Coons hit in the game. Alba’s bunt was taken to second zealously, and in fact overzealously, but Matt Martin, which did not result in an out. Corral grounded out, Spicer hit a sac fly to center, 2-0, and Kozak did what he did second-best after hitting homers, and whiffed.

The game then went south in the top 5th; the Indians didn’t have a lot, but at least they didn’t scatter absolutely everybody for no good reason on base. Chris Lovins and Eddy Ramirez got to the corners against Alba in the inning, and then Martin struck a 2-out, 3-run homer to flip the score and gave the Coons their first deficit of the season. Starwalt upped the score to 4-2 by swatting a back-to-back homer, while the Coons in the inning had Monck draw a walk and Starr single, and then Burkart bumbled into a double play to derail the effort.

Bottom 6th, Aoki opened with a single, Garmon singled in place of Alba, and another single by Corral loaded the bases. That made it 13 hits for two runs, but a fourth single by Spicer finally brought in a run, but Kozak struck out and Monck hit into a 3-6-3 double play… At least Carrillo, after giving up a leadoff double to the pitcher Thompson, right through Vic Morales, in the seventh inning, then retired the next three Indians rather stingily and kept the runner stranded on third base as well. The Coons, however, were absolutely ******* doomed. Starr singled to begin the bottom 7th and was immediately doubled off by Burkart. Sansao Tyson made his Coons debut in the eighth and gave up an unearned run after a 2-base throwing error by Aoki, while the Coons had – yay! – more singles to begin the bottom 9th against Cody Kleidon, with Kozak and Monck getting on before Starr, Burkart, and Morales struck out in order to end the game. 5-3 Indians. Spicer 3-4, 2 RBI; Kozak 3-5, 2B; Monck 2-4, BB, RBI; Starr 2-5; Burkart 2-5; Aoki 2-4; Garmon (PH) 1-1;

Well, we were bound to have a stinker game at *some* point this year…

Raccoons (2-1) vs. Bayhawks (2-2) – April 10-12, 2065

San Francisco came off a really rancid season, had traded away Grant Anker, and had split four games with Tijuana to begin the year. They had given up the most runs in the CL so far, but there also were only two teams that had played four games.

Projected matchups:
Jeff Crowley (0-0) vs. John Steele (0-0)
Chance Fox (0-0) vs. Austin LaRosa (0-0, 9.00 ERA)
Josh Elling (1-0, 1.17 ERA) vs. Goffredo Merlin (1-0, 4.26 ERA)

No southpaw in sight here. LaRosa was a 23-year-old rookie and waiver claim from the Knights, for whom he had made a few relief appearances last season, who had made one relief appearance against the Condors now, and who was scheduled to get his maiden start on Saturday.

Game 1
SFB: RF J. Paez – LF Laws – 2B A. Montoya – CF Navarre – SS D. Cox – 3B D. Sandoval – 1B Cordero – C L. Marquez – P Steele
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – CF Kozak – 2B Monck – 1B Starr – C Burkart – 3B Morales – SS Aoki – P Crowley

Armando Montoya, the last great hitter left in that lineup, hit a double in the first, but was left on base by Nate Navarre. However, Dan Sandoval and Rico Cordero hit back-to-back homers in the second inning to get the deadbeat Baybirds up 2-0. However, Yukio Aoki hit a 2-run bomb in the bottom 2nd with Morales, who forced out Starr earlier, to get back even. The Coons weren’t even for long though, because Cordero got back up to Crowley in the fourth inning and swatted a 3-run homer to put the Raccoons into an even deeper hole. Crowley also put Lorenzo Marquez and Juan Paez on base in the inning before getting yanked after only 3.2 innings of work in his Coons debut. Carrillo got Scott Laws on a groundout to end the inning, and held them off for another three outs, allowing Jose Corral to tie the game with a 3-run homer of his own in the bottom 5th. This one came with Aoki and Garmon on base and nobody out, and also ended Steele’s day in favor of olden-day Coon Ricky Herrera.

Of course the Coons would find somebody to bottle another lead to the Bayhawks, and it was Jesse Dover in his season debut. He nailed Dan Sandoval, walked Rico Cordero, and a few dominos later gave up runs on Juan Paez and Laws singles, 7-5, before being dug out by Jarod Morris. Things remained relatively close through the seventh and eighth although the Coons showed no signs of a rally, and then the ninth inning rolled around and Cruz Madrid got absolutely exploded for four runs, including another 3-piece by Sandoval, as the Bayhawks flew off into the distance as a winning team *and* Sansao Tyson had to finish the inning, which he did *barely*. The Coons loaded the bases with Arellano, Corral, and Spicer in the bottom 9th, and two outs, and then had Kozak strike out to end the game. 11-5 Bayhawks. Corral 2-5, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Aoki 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Serrano (PH) 1-1, 2B; Arellano (PH) 1-1;

Four games in, and the first hue of blue on the bullpen’s face.

Ace.

No starting debut on Saturday as the Baybirds moved up Merlin to the middle game.

Game 2
SFB: RF J. Paez – C Bogdan – 2B A. Montoya – CF Navarre – SS D. Cox – 1B J. McLaughlin – LF J. Echols – 3B D. Sandoval – P Merlin
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – CF Kozak – 2B Monck – 1B Starr – 3B Morales – C Arellano – SS Novelo – P Fox

Fox was down after two batters as Paez doubled and scored on Bryan Bogdan’s single. He gave up another two hits to Navarre and Jared McLaughlin and another run in the inning as things threatened to spiral out of control in week 1 once more. From here, there were good news and bad news. The good news was that Chance Fox after that horrendous inning *really* buckled down and would not only throw seven scoreless innings after that, getting to the middle of the eighth, but they were seven *hitless* innings, only losing Armando Montoya on a walk in the middle frames. The bad news was that the Raccoons were just as listless at the plate. Novelo had a single in the third. Spicer had a single and stole a base in the sixth. Neither made it to third base, let alone scored, and those were the only hits off Merlin, who also walked a pair through seven, as if that would lead anywhere nice. He retired Arellano and Novelo to begin the bottom 8th, then walked Serrano batting for Fox. Corral doubled to left, which suddenly put the tying runs in scoring position for the young hopper Spicer, whom he lost in a full count, which got us to Kozak with the bases loaded and two outs. There were only a few possible outcomes in my mind here, and all of them involved empty bases in some sense, but in fact after falling to 2-2 he managed to slap a single through the right side to drive in a run. Monck then got the chance and popped out right over home plate to leave three runners stricken on the bases. Navarre homered off Carrillo in the ninth to restore the 2-run gap, and the Coons didn’t come close to making up even one run against Zach Johnson in the ninth… 3-1 Bayhawks. Aoki (PH) 1-1; Fox 8.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, L (0-1);

Game 3
SFB: RF J. Paez – LF Laws – 2B A. Montoya – 1B J. McLaughlin – SS D. Cox – 3B D. Sandoval – CF Blackham – C L. Marquez – P Egley
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – CF Kozak – 2B Monck – 1B Starr – C Burkart – 3B Aoki – SS Serrano – P Elling

Paul Egley (0-1, 11.57 ERA) had been lit up in his first start, but at least was spotted a 1-0 lead in the top 1st. The Bayhawks coulda had more, but Juan Paez, after singling on an 0-2 from Elling and stealing second, was thrown out trying to steal third base ahead of two doubles by Montoya and McLaughlin that ended up producing only one run. Kozak hit a single in the first but was left on, and then Starr legged out an infield single to begin the bottom 2nd, but already fell down as he stepped on home plate, and rolled into a whimpering ball right behind the base. He couldn’t get up and had to be stretchered off the field while I had a little blackout. Kozak ended up moving to first and Garmon manned centerfield from there. He ended up scoring the tying run as pinch-runner following a 1-out walk drawn by Aoki and Serrano’s RBI single to center, and then Elling gave himself the lead, singling home the remaining runners with a ball through between Dustin Cox and Dan Sandoval, 3-1.

Third inning, Montoya both reached on an error by Burkart and then made an error that put Kozak on base. The former play did not lead to a run, but Rich Monck tried to hit his way out of a dire start to the season and swatted an RBI double to center before scoring on productive outs by Garmon and Burkart.

Elling pitched competently to the stretch – except whenever Lorenzo Marquez showed up at the dish. The #8 hitter took Elling deep both in the fifth and seventh innings, luckily only for a single run both times, and the score was still 5-3 at stretch time. Ricky H. was out for the bottom 7th, got Corral, but then allowed a single to Spicer, who stole second, walked Kozak, and gave up a run on a Monck single before Garmon and Burkart both flew out to end the inning. Madrid and McGinley then ended the 3-game slide with competent late inning relief work, like McGinley holding the terror Marquez to a single in the ninth. 6-3 Coons. Monck 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Starr 1-1; Aoki 1-1, 2 BB;

The news were not pleasant and Joel Starr, who had torn his hamstring entirely and was gonna be out for months. Luis Silva gave me hope for the All Star Game, as in, he might be taking grounders during the break.

Starr was off to the DL (sniff!) and the Raccoons called up 1B Alex Vargas, a switch-hitter that was going to turn 25 on Friday. He had been taken by the Wolves in the Rule 5 draft ahead of the 2063 season and made seven appearances batting .143 with 1 RBI for them before being returned. Last year in AAA, he had hit .276 with 12 homers.

Raccoons (3-3) @ Knights (2-3) – April 13-15, 2065

The Knights had scored 21 runs and given up 33 runs so far, hitting only one homer while their pen allowed themselves to get battered at a rate of a 10.80 ERA. That number probably would get better eventually. Nick Nye and Andy Younge were still on the DL for injuries suffered last year, when the Raccoons had beaten them in the season series, 5-4.

Projected matchups:
Shoma Nakayama (1-0, 1.29 ERA) vs. Kodai Koga (0-1, 9.00 ERA)
Angel Alba (0-1, 6.00 ERA) vs. Josh Doyle (0-0)
Jeff Crowley (0-0, 12.27 ERA) vs. Andres Lopez (0-1, 5.40 ERA)

Lopez was the only left-hander in that rotation.

Game 1
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – CF Kozak – 2B Monck – C Burkart – 3B V. Morales – 1B Vargas – SS Aoki – P Nakayama
ATL: 2B Kilday – RF J. Evans – 1B Savalli – SS C. Ramsey – C McLaren – 3B Labonte – LF Sheridan – CF Fumero – P Koga

Carlos Fumero had a fly by Monck glance off his wrist rather than catch it with his glove while running backwards with two outs in the first, which made the ball fall for a double and allowed Kozak to score from first base for the game’s first run, but Burkart then left Monck on base. The Knights did not leave a lot on base in the bottom 1st, as Jake Evans singled and scored on Justin Savalli’s score-flipping homer, and then Casey Ramsey doubled and scored on Matt McLaren’s single. It only got worse as the next inning saw Matt Kilday on with a 2-out single and then Nakayama served up a homer to Evans, 5-1. While Vic Morales singled in his first two runs of the year in the third inning, that was just a brief intermezzo here as Nakayama kept getting nailed for another run in the third, and then put Kilday on base with a 1-out single in the fourth and was yanked, not that that made anything better. Both Morris and Tyson got raked by the Knights, who went on to score four runs in the ******* inning to take a 10-3 lead. Tyson was booked for another run in the fifth, which Koga opened with a single. When the Coons’ 6-7-8 batters loaded the bases to begin the sixth inning it was admittedly a long shot for them to rally back into the game, but the little ***** surely could have done better than Garmon popping out and Corral hitting into a double play…

Bruce Burkart drove in two runs with a seventh-inning double against the 41-year-old Kodai Koga in the seventh inning, but that was after Dover had given up another run in the sixth with generally clueless tossing, beginning with a leadoff walk. McDaniel also offered a leadoff walk in the seventh, but became the first ******* Raccoons pitcher in the game to put a zero on the ******* board. Novelo became a shortstop/pitcher for the third time in his career in the bottom 8th and pitched another scoreless inning, though not without loading the bases. To make the game suck even harder, Ryan Harmer shut the door on the silly Critters… 12-5 Knights. Serrano (PH) 1-1; Monck 2-5, 2 2B, RBI; Morales 2-4, 2 RBI; Aoki 1-2, 2 BB;

Gross.

Alex Vargas’ Raccoons debut was well in line with the rest of the team effort, 0-for-3 with a walk.

Game 2
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 1B Kozak – 2B Monck – 3B V. Morales – C Arellano – CF Garmon – SS Aoki – P Alba
ATL: 2B Kilday – RF J. Evans – 1B Savalli – SS C. Ramsey – C McLaren – LF K. Hummel – 3B Ovalle – CF Fumero – P Doyle

The Coons began with singles from Corral and Spicer before Kozak whiffed and Monck hit into a 6-4-3 double play. Instead, the Knights took the early lead on a first-inning solo shot by Jake Evans. Top 2nd, the Raccoons’ 4-5-6-7 batters singled the bags full with nobody out before Aoki and Alba repeated what Kozak and Monck did earlier. That was five hits the first time through and zero runs, and the Fritters stranded another pair of runners between Corral and Monck in the third inning, at which point I was beginning to froth from the snout.

Pedro Ovalle’s homer made it 3-0 in the fourth inning thanks to Ramsey standing around on base, but at least after another Spicer single in the fifth Rich Monck finally found the right angle and bashed a 2-run homer of his own to get the Coons back to within one run. Jake Evans answered with another homer off Alba as I increasingly despaired. Alba somehow lasted seven innings, giving up six hits, half of which were bombs. He was down 4-2 and remained down 4-2 at the start of the eighth when Monck launched a blast off Brad Fales that Fumero picked off the top of the fence in the deepest depths of centerfield. A Morales single and Arellano double, both to left, put the tying runs in scoring position with one out, though, and Garmon hit a sac fly to right. The Coons sent lefty Ricky McMahan after Aoki with two outs, which meant Novelo was batting, but he grounded out to strand the tying run at second.

It managed to get worse yet; on the first batter that the Coons’ disgusting bullpen faced (Ramsey), Cruz Madrid gave up a rocket to the fence in deep right, which Corral caught while crashing into that fence, but he also caught a shoulder injury and left the game with his arm angled in front of his body, to be replaced by Randy Tallent. It was all for nothing, as Vargas, Tallent, and Spicer went down in order against Erik Swain in the ninth. 4-3 Knights. Spicer 2-5; Monck 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Morales 3-4; Arellano 2-4, 2B; Garmon 1-2, RBI;

Jose Corral had a bit of a sprained shoulder, but no major structural damage, Luis Silva ruled on Wednesday. He was nevertheless going to hit the DL for at least two weeks as the Coons’ season continued to fall apart at a blistering rate. The Raccoons went with a new face and called up 24-year-old OF Carlos Matas, a scouting discovery that had actually risen from the puddles of the lower minors, although he was only 11 games into his AAA career. This was a defensive, lefty-hitting outfield option. He was not expected to hit.

Game 3
POR: LF Spicer – 3B V. Morales – 1B Kozak – 2B Monck – C Burkart – CF Garmon – SS Novelo – RF Tallent – P Crowley
ATL: 2B Kilday – RF J. Evans – 1B Savalli – SS C. Ramsey – C McLaren – LF K. Hummel – 3B Labonte – CF Fumero – P A. Lopez

Spicer walked and Morales hit a jack to left to begin the series finale, which actually put the Raccoons on top for a change. However, Crowley gave up a solo homer to Evans to cut the 2-0 lead in half, then shuffled the bags full before somehow getting a disposed-of ex-Coon, Paul Labonte, to pop out to leave the bases loaded. Monck and Burkart had reached base in the top 1st and had been left stranded, which meant Tallent led off the second, doing so with a walk. Crowley’s bunt was thrown into orbit by Labonte for two bases, and the runners scored one by one on Spicer’s single and Morales’ groundout before Kozak singled home Spicer from second on a 1-2 pitch before the inning fizzled out with Monck and Burkart. For giving up five runs in two innings, Andres Lopez was pinch-hit for at the first opportunity, J.P. Sheridan batting for him for no greater gains in the bottom 2nd. The Knights then got a walk, a balk, a hit batter, two RBI singles, and three runs in total off the completely derelict Crowley in the bottom 3rd, though, and the score was down to 5-4.

Top 4th, Spicer walked and Morales hit a jack to left to begin the inning, which was a nice throwback to an hour earlier, and extended the lead to 7-4 again. This one came off Luis Morales, righty reliever. The pummeling of Crowley didn’t stop though, and the Knights got another run off him on three singles in the bottom 4th. He was not seen afterwards, being hit for with Franklin Serrano in the next half-inning. Serrano was plunked and stranded.

Matas made his major league debut in the bottom 6th when he was double-switched in with Sansao Tyson to replace Dover (four outs, no runs, best boy in the pen by default) and Garmon. Tyson got five outs to get through seven, and Matas struck out in his first ABL at-bat in between. Cruz Madrid offered a leadoff walk to Kilday in the eighth, but had the situation resolved with a double play grounder by Savalli. The 7-5 score went to the ninth inning where McGinley was behind every batter and pretty soon **** got real. Casey Ramsey legged out an infield single to begin the inning before Justin Hart grounded out. Ken Hummel walked, and Labonte reached on an error by Monck, which loaded them up for Fumero, the 2063 CL ROTY. He tied the game with a single to center before Brad Fales – for a lack of pinch-hitters – rumbled into a double play, giving us extra innings.

The Coons hit nothing for two innings against Erik Swain while getting an out from McGinley against Kilday to begin the bottom 10th before putting Morris in for better or worse, to the point where Morris batted and struck out to begin the top 12th against Cory Leonard, who then went on to nail Tallent, batting a flat NOTHING. Tallent still got legs though and stole second, then moved to third on Matas’ groundout. Spicer walked in a full count, Morales walked before reaching a full count, and that brought up “All Or Nothing” Kozak, who ran another full count on the right-handed Leonard before slapping a 3-2 pitch into the left-center gap – and they weren’t gonna get there! The ball was down, went to the warning track, and Kozak emptied the bases with a double!! From there, an intentional walk to Monck by Leonard and an unintentional walk to Burkart by McMahan loaded the bases again, bringing back Aoki, who normally didn’t face left-handers in big spots, but the Raccoons only had Arellano left on the bench and couldn’t bat for him. He popped out, leaving a save situation to Carrillo, the last fresh reliever in the pen. Fumero slapped him for a leadoff double and scored on groundouts by McMahan and Kilday, but Evans’ out ended the bloody ballgame… 10-8 Raccoons. Morales 3-6, BB, 2 HR, 5 RBI; Kozak 2-6, BB, 2B, 4 RBI; Vargas (PH) 1-1;

Vargas had the only base hit from the bottom four spots in the lineup, who did draw two walks and scored three runs, somehow.

In other news

April 6 – The Blue Sox and Capitals slug it out for 12 innings on Opening Day until Nashville prevails, 15-13.
April 7 – Stars 3B/SS/LF Xavier Reyes (4-for-8, 0 HR, 4 RBI) gets two hits in a 9-7 win against the Pacifics to reach 2,000 for his career at age 30. Reyes, a career .313 hitter with 38 homers and 461 stolen bases, gets the milestone in style with a bases-clearing triple off LAP MR Jon Toribio (0-0, 16.20 ERA).
April 7 – The Cyclones beat the Rebels, 1-0 in ten innings. The winning run is driven in by Cyclones C Brycen Fink (1-for-2, 0 HR, 1 RBI), who then finishes the game at third base.
April 9 – Two days later, C Brycen Fink (1-for-2, 0 HR, 1 RBI) is dealt from Cincy to Topeka for SP/MR Dan Albrecht (1-0, 3.86 ERA).
April 9 – The season of LVA SP Adam Edge (0-0, 0.00 ERA) ends with a flayed elbow ligament.

April 10 – The Stars fire off an 11-run eighth inning to beat the Buffaloes, 14-7. DAL C Chris D’Alessandro (.600, 0 HR, 6 RBI) drives in six runs from the #8 spot.
April 10 – CIN INF Jorge Munoz (.125, 0 HR, 1 RBI) was out for the rest of the month after suffering an oblique strain.
April 11 – LAP 1B/CF/RF Jared Allen (.391, 1 HR, 6 RBI) ends the Pacifics’ game against the Blue Sox with a come-from-behind, walkoff grand slam, 6-3.
April 11 – MIL INF Kyle Reber (.182, 1 HR, 5 RBI) drives in five runs from the leadoff spot in a 14-2 rout of the Condors.
April 11 – Richmond’s SS Jason Turner (.077, 0 HR, 1 RBI) will miss the entire season with a torn posterior cruciate ligament.

April 12 – CIN 3B Rick Healey (.357, 0 HR, 0 RBI) would miss a month with a torn ankle ligament.
April 12 – Crusaders OF Coby Thore (.304, 0 HR, 4 RBI) leaves a game against the Aces with a quad strain and will miss at least four weeks.
April 14 – The Buffos also acquire INF Alex Corpus (.296, 0 HR, 2 RBI) from the Gold Sox, along with a prospect, for OF Tommy Branch (.143, 0 HR, 2 RBI).

FL Player of the Week: DAL CF Tyler Wharton (.520, 3 HR, 8 RBI)
CL Player of the Week: VAN INF/RF Carlos Castro (.600, 0 HR, 3 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Carlos Matas should not be confused with Carlos Mata, another outfielder that played in 53 games for the Raccoons a few years ago and was currently a 35-year-old free agent.

Why no Marco Campos, f.e.? Torn ankle ligaments, not coming back until late May. No, it was not a great start to the season for the Raccoons in ANY regard. The numbers are **** almost throughout except for some bright spots (Spicer!), and the DL already contains two five-and-a-halfths (Burkart?) of the engine that powered the team to a #1 finish in runs scored last year.

The pitching has been especially ludicrous so far. The two new starters put up three stinkers in four attempts, and the pen is as retarded as ever.

No off day here either as we’re right off to Boston for a 4-game set. The Monday after that will be off, and then we have nine home games against the Loggers, Falcons, and Thunder, who lost their first six games of the year and are now 1-8, worst in the league. They can’t wait to face the Critters.

Fun Fact: The longest-ago Raccoon still in the organization is…… J.J. Sensabaugh.

He made 11 starts in 2057 after being acquired from New York at the deadline, going 2-4 with a 4.20 ERA. Needless to say it was all downhill from there, and yet he is drawing a paycheck.

The only other Raccoons still going back to the 2050s are Chance Fox (2058), Joel Starr (2058), and Jack Kozak (2059).

[Westheim]

Raccoons (4-5) @ Titans (5-3) – April 16-19, 2065

The Titans had scored the fewest runs in the CL so far, but I knew a pitching staff that was coming to the rescue. They were also stingy with the runs allowed, giving up just 2.63 runs per game so far, with a starters’ ERA of 1.30. If that wasn’t reason for concern… The Titans had won the season series for the last three years straight, 10-8 in 2064.

Projected matchups:
Chance Fox (0-1, 2.25 ERA) vs. Jason Brenize (0-1, 1.26 ERA)
Josh Elling (2-0, 2.45 ERA) vs. Will Glaude (0-0, 1.13 ERA)
Shoma Nakayama (1-1, 6.97 ERA) vs. Mike Bell (2-0, 2.08 ERA)
Angel Alba (0-2, 5.54 ERA) vs. Bryce Wallace (0-0, 0.00 ERA)

Good luck with that. Only right-handers were lined up for the Raccoons here.

Two weeks into the season, the Raccoons were already shifting Malcolm Spicer to rightfield, where he had little experience, but surely had the arm to survive out there. The more we could keep Jack Kozak out of centerfield, the better for everybody involved.

Game 1
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – LF Kozak – 2B Monck – C Burkart – SS Aoki – 1B Vargas – CF Garmon – P Fox
BOS: LF S. Humphries – 1B Joyner – CF Marcotte – C Arviso – 3B D. Mendoza – RF Joe Washington – 2B Onelas – SS Spehar – P Brenize

To anybody’s surprise, Chance Fox was able to stink up to Jason Brenize in the Thursday opener, as both pitchers lined up zeroes incessantly on the scoreboard. Both teams would have a pair of singles in the second inning, neither scored, and from there it was mostly offensive ineptitude on display. The Titans especially liked to pop out a lot, while Brenize dialed up the strikeouts, but was befallen by the old mojo again that Boston never scored for him. Fox glitched a leadoff walk to Ryan Spehar and another walk to Steve Humphries in the fifth, but then got a double play from Bill Joyner to wrap up the inning.

Surprise #2 was Alex Vargas, who was the one Raccoon that Brenize was unable to retire at all. Vargas hit a pair of singles, then drew a 1-out walk in the seventh of the scoreless game, following a Burkart single, that got Brenize removed from the game. Roberto Navarro got a fielder’s choice out of Corey Garmon before serving up a ridiculous 2-out, 2-run double to left-center to Chance Fox. The L didn’t stick to Brenize though, because Fox had his own half-inning of coming unglued just on the other side of the stretch. Marcos Onelas hit a leadoff double to right, and with two outs Steve Humphries doubled and Bobby Ellwood singled to bring in the runs to tie the game back up. Jesse Dover then retired Eddie Marcotte to get out of the inning. Dover got three outs before the Coons wanted just one out from Sansao Tyson against Joe Washington, but both Washington and Onelas reached and Juan Carrillo had to come in to get rid of Spehar and finish the bottom 8th.

The ninth inning was largely uneventful except for a pinch-hit single by Carlos Matas off Tony Castellanos for his first ABL hit, but the game went to extras as the second consecutive overtime effort for the Critters, who quickly scored on Castellanos in the tenth, thanks to Kozak reaching on an error by the pitcher. Monck, who had looked particularly awful against Brenize, socked a tie-breaking RBI double, and Burkart and Aoki landed soft singles, the latter of which plated Monck. A walk to Vargas and Arellano’s pinch-hit RBI single against Matt Taylor helped the Coons to a third run before both Matas and Spicer, who ended up 0-for-6, both struck out. McGinley put the lid on it without drama. 5-2 Coons. Burkart 3-5; Aoki 2-5, RBI; Vargas 2-2, 3 BB; Arellano (PH) 1-1; Matas (PH) 1-2; Fox 6.2 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 3 K and 1-2, 2B, 2 RBI;

Game 2
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – LF Kozak – 2B Monck – C Burkart – SS Serrano – 1B Vargas – CF Matas – P Elling
BOS: LF S. Humphries – RF Joe Washington – CF Marcotte – C Arviso – 1B Joyner – 3B D. Mendoza – 2B Onelas – SS Spehar – P Glaude

Elling had walked just one batter in his 14.2 innings to begin the season, but walked both Humphries and Washington to start the Friday game, then nicked Bill Joyner to make him joyn them for a 2-out, bases-loaded situation and an early intervention on the mound. Diego Mendoza then kindly grounded out to Monck to strand all the runners. Humphries singled home Spehar with two outs in the second then for a 1-0 Boston lead, but Vic Morales would even the score with a 2-out RBI single of his own in the top 3rd. It was unearned because Josh Elling reached when his bunt got bungled. Vargas scored, but the remaining runners were stranded when Kozak lined out to Joyner.

The Titans retook the lead in the fifth with no fewer than four straight 2-out hits against Elling. The 2-3-4 batters filled the bases before Joyner doubled home a pair and Mendoza struck out. Glaude response in the top 6th involved allowing leadoff singles to Spicer and Morales and walking Kozak for three on and nobody out. Monck and Serrano each singled in a run around a K to Burkart to even the score at three again, but Vargas hit into a double play.

The Coons, who were strapped for pitching after two extra-inning wins, had to remove Elling after five frames thanks to 100 pitches expended mostly uselessly, and then ended up with Jarod Morris having a big old meltdown in the bottom 7th, in which the Titans got him for four hits, two walks, and five runs. Two wild pitches were also involved. That was before Cruz Madrid walked the bases full in the bottom 8th, nailed Joyner to bring in a run, and gave up a bases-clearing triple to Mendoza. Dustin Archambeau then got the fifth run of *that* inning around with a sac fly. 13-3 Titans. Morales 2-4, RBI; Serrano 2-4, RBI; Vargas 2-3; Garmon 1-1;

Sigh. There was no right-hander in that bullpen that you couldn’t cast into the Boston harbor and nobody would miss him before season’s end……

Game 3
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – 1B Kozak – 2B Monck – C Arellano – SS Aoki – LF Garmon – CF Tallent – P Nakayama
BOS: LF S. Humphries – RF Joe Washington – CF Marcotte – 1B Joyner – 3B D. Mendoza – 2B Onelas – C S. Moreno – SS Spehar – P M. Bell

Spicer reached on an infield single to begin the game and was stranded by the next three batters, while Arellano hit a leadoff double in the second, advanced on a wild pitch, and was thrown out at the plate by Washington on Garmon’s fly to right for an inning-ending double play. Instead, Boston scored first again, in the bottom 2nd, when Sandy Moreno doubled home Onelas after Mendoza had already hit into a double play to clean off leadoff batter Bill Joyner from the bases.

Calmness broke out for the rest of the first five innings, with the two teams totaling just five base hits between them until Randy Tallent hit a leadoff single in the sixth. He was bunted to second while Spicer reached on an error by Spehar, putting runners on the corners. Vic Morales flew out to deep right, but it was a sac fly for real this time and tied the game at one. Spicer remained at first base on that play, but stole second on the next pitch before Kozak popped out to Joyner to end the inning.

However, Boston regained the lead in the seventh with straight hits by the 5-6-7 batters before Spehar hit into an outfield double play himself, this one involving Garmon throwing out Onelas at the plate to end the inning. Nakayama went eight innings, which at least bailed out the battered bullpen, but still trailed 2-1 into the ninth inning, in which the Raccoons brought the top of the order up against Jason Rhodes, whom Spicer got for a leadoff triple in right-center to put the tying run just 90 feet away immediately. There, he remained, as Morales struck out, Kozak hit a roller in front of the plate that couldn’t have advanced the Flash, and Monck flew to deep right, but it was caught by Washington on the warning track. 2-1 Titans. Spicer 2-4, 3B; Nakayama 8.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, L (1-2);

By now the thing was that both Monck and Kozak weren’t hitting anything and with what was already on the DL that made the lineup rather harmless. Monday was gonna be off, but maybe a 2-day break could help them realign better, so neither of them were in the starting lineup on Sunday as the Raccoons pretty much intentionally pissed away the series finale.

Game 4
POR: RF Spicer – SS Aoki – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 1B Vargas – 2B Serrano – LF Garmon – CF Matas – P Alba
BOS: LF S. Humphries – RF Joe Washington – CF Marcotte – C Arviso – 1B Joyner – 3B D. Mendoza – 2B Onelas – SS Spehar – P B. Wallace

The Titans took the lead in the second inning again on hits by Joyner, Mendoza, and Spehar, which would have been alright if that had been it, but the one that hurt was the 2-out single that Bryce Wallace hit off Alba, and then Humphries added a 2-run double to bury the Raccoons 4-0 down. The Titans did not tack on in the next few innings, but it was highly concerning to see them make contact on the first pitch for several batters in a row in the third inning. Alba wasn’t fooling anybody, not even his old GM, while the Coons had no base hits into the fifth inning when Garmon and Matas hit soft 1-out singles. Alba bunted them into scoring position before Spicer buried another one in the gap for another triple, this time less uselessly than on Saturday and bringing in two runs to cut the gap to 4-2. And then Aoki whiffed.

Alba lingered into the sixth like a bad smell, where Diego Mendoza got him for a leadoff triple in right-center before Onelas and Spehar made two bad outs on the infield to keep the runner waiting for his time to go. That brought back Wallace, and he wasn’t gonna do it twice, was he? He was, and the 2-out RBI single was the perfect ****** ending to a ****** start for Alba, who was yanked. Not that there was any relief to be gotten from the tossers in the bullpen; Dover came in, walked Humphries, and then gave up a 2-run double to Washington before Marcotte surrendered himself on a grounder to Aoki to end another perfectly ****** inning. From there, Aoki and Morales had base hits in the eighth but were stranded in scoring position by Burkart and Vargas, but the Coons went down without much fuzz in the seventh and ninth innings. 7-2 Titans. Garmon 2-3;

Monck and Kozak both pinch-hit. Both struck out.

Raccoons (5-8) vs. Loggers (5-7) – April 21-23, 2065

The Coons had a -22 run differential by now which was highly alarming, but at least the Loggers came in. The Coons had finally regained the upper paw against them last year, winning 12 of 18 games after several years of confusing failure against the CL North’s second-most-adorable team. Milwaukee was third in runs scored and ninth in runs allowed after two weeks, with a -2 run differential. Their starters were the main problem, getting beaten to the tune of a 6.25 ERA. Maybe that trend would continue at the same rate as the Titans’ starters invincibility on the weekend…? Please?

Projected matchups:
Jeff Crowley (0-0, 11.74 ERA) vs. Girolamo Pizzichini (1-0, 0.00 ERA)
Chance Fox (0-1, 2.45 ERA) vs. Tony Espinosa (0-0, 6.00 ERA)
Josh Elling (2-0, 3.20 ERA) vs. Bobby Herrera (1-2, 6.27 ERA)

Espinosa was the only lefty starter in sight.

Game 1
MIL: LF Franks – 1B C. Ramirez – CF Merrill – 2B F. Carrera – C Guitreau – RF D. Wright – SS Reber – 3B V. Velez – P Pizzichini
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – SS Aoki – LF Garmon – CF Matas – P Crowley

Crowley got rid of the four left-handed batters atop the Loggers order without issue before getting bopped by three right-handers in the second inning as Tommy Guitreau singled, Dave Wright doubled, and Kyle Reber singled in a pair for another second-inning deficit. Those were Milwaukee’s only hits through five, but the Coons had just two singles and were entirely harmless with that output. Fidel Carrera hit a solo home run in the sixth to up the score to 3-0, and the Loggers added an unearned run in the seventh when Vic Velez drove in Dave Wright, who had reached on a 2-base throwing error by Aoki. The Raccoons appeared cursed as a whole, like in the bottom 7th when Aoki hit a double and then had himself picked off second base for no good reason at all. Failing Cruz Madrid allowed another run in the ninth inning, which still brought his ERA down by more than a full run… “Pizza” pitched eight shutout inning, and Aiden Shaw nailed the coffin shut in the bottom 9th. 5-0 Loggers.

Good news! The Coons didn’t lose on Wednesday!

They were rained out.

A double header was planned for Thursday, even though the weather promised to remain iffy. The Loggers moved “Tipsy” Bobby Herrera into the first game then, while the Raccoons kept Fox as the next guy up. For the lineups, we tossed all our weight into the platoon advantage side of the scale; all paws were on deck for the double header – assuming that Espinosa would indeed start the second game of the day.

Or that there was gonna be a second game.

Game 2
MIL: RF D. Wright – LF C. Ramirez – 1B D. Robles – 2B F. Carrera – C Guitreau – CF Merrill – SS Reber – 3B V. Velez – P B. Herrera
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Arellano – 2B Monck – SS Aoki – 1B Vargas – LF Garmon – CF Matas – P Fox

The *Raccoons* took a lead in the second inning after two silently effective innings from Fox, when Aoki walked, scored on Alex Vargas’ double, and Garmon and Matas added soft singles to get a second run across before Fox bunted badly into a force out at third base and the inning derailed from there. The Loggers had no runners the first time through the lineup, but quickly made up for that in the fourth inning when Wright doubled and scored on Cesar Ramirez’ single to center. Worse, Tommy Guitreau slapped a 2-out, 2-run homer to flip the score for the Loggers, 3-2. Fox was torn to shreds for another four runs in the next inning, beginning with straight hits for Vic Velez, Bobby H., and Wright, then a bases-clearing triple by Ramirez. Dave Robles walked and Carrera’s fielder’s choice grounder brought home Ramirez, 7-2. Jarod Morris would then pitch scoreless garbage relief for the rest of the game, which didn’t help all that much anymore. The Raccoons only scored once more on a solo home run by Marcos Arellano and apart from that went down mostly cluelessly against Tipsy Bobby and Vincent Hernandez for the rest of the game. 7-3 Loggers. Arellano 2-4, HR, RBI; Aoki 1-2, BB, 2B; Morris 4.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K and 1-1;

(extends paws and looks pleadingly up to the baseball gods)

Game 3
MIL: LF Franks – 1B C. Ramirez – CF Merrill – 2B F. Carrera – RF D. Wright – SS Reber – C Jack – 3B V. Velez – P T. Espinosa
POR: LF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 1B Kozak – CF Garmon – 2B Serrano – SS Novelo – RF Tallent – P Elling

Elling gave up three hits to the four left-handers leading that Loggers lineup in the first inning, but Franks was caught stealing and Ramirez and Merrill were stranded on the corners once Randy Tallent tracked down Wright’s fly to right to end the inning. Kyle Reber and Vic Velez had more singles for Milwaukee in the second inning, but Reber was caught stealing third base and they didn’t score again. But Elling just kept getting beaten around and in the third inning a Franks single, Merrill’s RBI double, and a Carrera homer gave the Loggers a 3-0 lead. Sadly, Elling was a much better hitter than pitcher in this game, and also a much better hitter than most hitters in the lineup, teaming up with Vic Morales for a pair of doubles in the bottom 3rd to at least get the Raccoons on the board. And then Burkart grounded out and Kozak struck out.

That didn’t make his pitching better, and the Loggers put a fourth and final run on him in the sixth inning with two more hits from Carrera and Wright, a double steal, and a run-scoring grounder by J.P. Jack. Bottom 6th, the Coons had the tying run at the dish (!!) with nobody out as Burkart singled and Kozak walked against Espinosa, but then Garmon and Serrano both popped out rather uselessly. Novelo snapped a 2-out RBI single to left, 4-2, and in despair the Coons sent Rich Monck to bat for Tallent, but he only drew a walk to fill the bases. Vargas batted for Elling, who would have been removed anyway, flew out to Scott Franks, and that was the inning.

The Coons pen had its obligatory step on the rake in the eighth inning; Tyson, the ex-Logger, had a scoreless seventh, but then walked Carrera to begin the eighth inning. Dover replaced him, was absolutely useless and gave up a Wright double, a sac fly to Robles, and an RBI single to Jack for two tack-on runs, before also walking Velez. Matt Ruskin then hit into a double play. The ninth inning was McDaniel’s. He loaded the bases with left-handed batters, and then was left to sort his own **** out, which he did in he form of a bases-loaded walk to Wright and a grand jack served up to J.P. Slam. The Raccoons scored two meaningless runs in the bottom 9th with a Vargas double, Spicer triple, and Morales sac fly. 11-4 Loggers. Novelo 2-4, RBI;

Jesus Christ in a cat café …!

Raccoons (5-11) vs. Falcons (8-7) – April 24-26, 2065

The last-place Coons got to face the Falcons on the weekend, who had lost their last three games, which we could only snicker over, proudly posting an L6 coming into the series. The Falcons had a +10 run differential; while scoring was a chore for them, they allowed the second-fewest runs in the league. Well, it only takes one run to win against this team. They were without infielders John Schmidt and Rick Healey, though, who were on the DL for a while. Portland had won five of nine games from the Falcons in ’64, and had won the season series for seven years in a row, which was going to end now.

Projected matchups:
Shoma Nakayama (1-2, 4.91 ERA) vs. Jayden Craddock (3-0, 1.89 ERA)
Angel Alba (0-3, 6.75 ERA) vs. Tom Kies (1-1, 6.35 ERA)
Jeff Crowley (0-1, 7.98 ERA) vs. Ivan Rodriguez (0-2, 2.18 ERA)

Southpaw on Saturday against Kies. Both teams had played a double-header on Thursday, so both teams arrived in this series off two losses in the past 24 hours as well.

Game 1
CHA: CF Geiger – RF Nakamura – C O. Matos – 1B Jes. Martinez – SS T. Taylor – 2B Duhe – LF Padgett – 3B O’Donnell – P Craddock
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – CF Kozak – SS Aoki – 1B Vargas – LF Garmon – P Nakayama

Spicer singled and was caught stealing in the bottom 1st as the Coons seemed like they wouldn’t be able to catch a break soon. The same vibe returned in the bottom 2nd when Monck and Kozak led off with singles, Aoki flew out, but Vargas filled the bases with a single before Garmon struck out, which left Nakayama with two outs – and he hit a 2-run single to left-center. Of course, even with that lucky break, Spicer couldn’t keep the line movig and grounded out to Jared Duhe.

Nakayama did not allow any base runners in the first three innings before offering a leadoff walk to Dan Geiger in the fourth, but Natsu Nakamura (Caution! Don’t mix them up!) hit into a double play. Oscar Matos doubled to left, advanced on a balk, Jesus Martinez reached on a walk, and then Nakayama plated the lead runner with a wild pitch in a sequence that made my fur fall out by the bushel. Trent Taylor flew out lazily to Garmon to at least preserve a 2-1 lead for the Coons. The Falcons had the first two batters on in the fifth as Duhe walked and Cody Padgett reached on catcher’s interference, at which point Cristian shouted “Bingo!”, but Nakayama buckled down and retired the Falcons on a Chad O’Donnell strikeout, Craddock’s bunt, and another K to Geiger.

However, after Spicer was caught stealing *again* in the bottom 5th, the game still went all to **** in the sixth inning. Another leadoff walk to Nakamura was a GREAT start, and from there two outs were made before the 5-6-7 batters rapped off a double, single, and double and drove in three runs to flip the score in favor of the Falcons, 4-2. O’Donnell whiffed again to end the inning. It only got worse. Cruz Madrid allowed another run in the eighth in his second consecutive outing where he did so while lowering his ERA, and Bruce Burkart hit a 1-out double in that inning only for Monck and Kozak to croak again as their slumps only further deepened. McGinley got the ninth in a 3-run deficit and got whacked for another two runs. 7-2 Falcons. Spicer 2-4; Novelo (PH) 1-1;

At this point the Raccoons were last in the North, and last in runs scored *and* runs allowed in the CL.

Game 2
CHA: CF Geiger – RF Nakamura – C O. Matos – 1B Jes. Martinez – SS T. Taylor – 2B Duhe – LF Padgett – 3B O’Donnell – P Kies
POR: 2B Serrano – CF Garmon – 3B Morales – C Arellano – LF Kozak – 1B Vargas – SS Novelo – RF Tallent – P Alba

Geiger and Nakamura singled and Matos was drilled by Alba to begin the Saturday game, but the Falcons were held to one run after Jesus Martinez popped out on the infield, Trent Taylor bringing in the only run with a sac fly to left. Duhe flew out in left-center. Both sides scored a run in the third inning on two hits each; for Portland, Novelo and Tallent led off with singles before Alba bunted them into scoring position and Novelo scored on Serrano’s groundout. Garmon grounded out to short to leave Tallent on third base. O’Donnell’s fourth-inning homer extended the Falcons’ lead to 3-1, but the Coons got two singles to start their half of the fourth as well, with Morales and Arellano getting on. However, between the 5-6-7 batters the Raccoons only added hot air and a couple of whiffs and the runners never advanced…

A Serrano error put Geiger on base in the fifth inning, but he got himself caught stealing. The sixth began with a walk to Martinez (…) and a Taylor single before Duhe lined out to Novelo, who caught Martinez off the base for a 6-U double play, derailing the inning for the Falcons. The Coons answered with Arellano and Kozak hits in the bottom 6th, but they came with two outs and before Vargas popped out most unhelpfully.

Geiger singled off McDaniel in the seventh inning and was caught stealing again, while the Coons didn’t get on base again until the eighth when Garmon singled against Kies, who was still holding out, and was doubled off by Morales to end the inning. Left-hander Ryan de Jong then retired Arellano and Kozak to begin the ninth inning, but Vargas singled past the reach of Taylor at short. Monck batted for Novelo, because that was the tying run, and ended the game with a grounder to second. 3-1 Falcons. Arellano 2-4, 2B;

It ain’t working…

Maybe we need to switch some things up? (cracks open bottle of Capt’n Coma before the Sunday game even begins)

Game 3
CHA: CF Geiger – RF Nakamura – C O. Matos – 1B Jes. Martinez – SS T. Taylor – 2B Duhe – LF Padgett – 3B O’Donnell – P I. Rodriguez
POR: SS Aoki – RF Spicer – C Burkart – 2B Monck – LF Kozak – 3B Novelo – 1B Vargas – CF Matas – P Crowley

Geiger finally succeeded in stealing a base against the Coons in the first inning on Sunday after hitting a leadoff single against Crowley, but was nevertheless stranded on base by the 2-3-4 batters. Instead Aoki drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 1st, was forced out by Spicer’s grounder, but Spicer stole second and scored on a Burkart double to left for an early run before Monck and Kozak suffocated the team out of the inning. Crowley then tried his best to blow the lead with deep flies that were caught or in the third inning when he walked O’Donnell to lead off, then misguidedly took Rodriguez’ bunt to second base for no out whatsoever, but the Falcons made three straight outs after that without scoring.

Rich Monck drove in his first run in NINE days with a solo jack to right in the bottom 4th, also becoming the first Raccoon to a lofty three homers on the season. Crowley celebrated by putting Duhe and Padgett on base to begin the fifth, but O’Donnell found a double play and Rodriguez struck out as the Falcons appeared hellbent on ending the Raccoons’ 8-game losing streak. The Raccoons added two more runs in the bottom 5th as Matas and Aoki hit singles, Aoki stole a base, and the runners scored on Spicer’s groundout and a wild pitch, 4-0. Two innings later Novelo drove in Burkart, who had been nailed by Matt Stephens, with a single to center. Crowley was still pitching at that point, whiffing O’Donnell to begin the eighth before Scott Moore pinch-hit for the pitcher and that lined up enough left-handed sticks to remove Crowley after 102 pitches in favor of McDaniel, who walked Moore, allowed a 2-out single to Nakamura and then was bailed out on defense by Kozak on a Matos fly to left…

Bottom 8th, Tallent batted for Matas leading off, tripled to left-center off Brett Lillis jr., and then hurt his knee sliding into third base, for which he was replaced with Serrano as a pinch-runner. Morales batted for McDaniel and doubled home the runner, was balked to third by Lillis and scored on Aoki’s groundout. Cruz Madrid then finished the game without even blowing the shutout. 7-0 Coons. Burkart 2-4, 2B, RBI; Matas 1-1, BB; Tallent (PH) 1-1, 3B; Morales (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; Crowley 7.1 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 8 K, W (1-1);

Not that Crowley was easy or fun to watch, but you gotta give him 7.1 scoreless…. SOMEHOW…

In other news

April 16 – A broken elbow will cost Bayhawks OF/1B/3B (.371, 5 HR, 10 RBI) four to five months on the sidelines.
April 17 – CIN MR Marc Timmons (0-0, 1.23 ERA), who as a rookie was sent out 92 times to pitch in 2064, was diagnosed with shoulder inflammation and would miss most if not all of the remaining season.
April 18 – The Stars beat the Wolves, 3-2 in 11 innings. All runs score in the 11th inning as Salem first takes a 2-0 lead before having it reversed in a Stars rally that sees them walk off.
April 19 – DAL 3B/SS/LF Xavier Reyes (.453, 0 HR, 11 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak after a first-inning single in a 6-1 win against the Wolves. The streak obviously started in 2064 with hits in the last seven games there.
April 20 – A groin strain will keep CHA INF John Schmidt (.111, 0 HR, 0 RBI) from struggling at the plate for at least six weeks.
April 22 – Aces SP Chris Monahan (1-1, 2.70 ERA) 3-hits the Knights in a 2-0 shutout.
April 23 – Los Angeles would be without SP Joel Luera (1-1, 4.29 ERA) for a month after the 33-year-old right-hander was diagnosed with a sprained ankle.
April 24 – The Loggers get buried by the Thunder, 14-1, with OCT OF Johnny Parker (.256, 1 HR, 8 RBI) driving in five runs from the #8 spot.
April 25 – Dallas’ Xavier Reyes (.447, 0 HR, 13 RBI) extends his hitting streak to 25 games with a ninth-inning single in a 4-2 win against the Miners in Pittsburgh.

FL Player of the Week (2): RIC LF/RF/1B Brady Terrell (.365, 3 HR, 16 RBI), batting .400 (12-30) with 2 HR, 12 RBI
CL Player of the Week (2): POR INF/RF Victor Morales (.327, 2 HR, 9 RBI), hitting .414 (12-29) with 2 HR, 9 RBI

FL Player of the Week (3): SFW OF Alex Barnes (.333, 5 HR, 14 RBI), socking .500 (11-22) with 4 HR, 10 RBI
CL Player of the Week (3): OCT 1B/LF/RF Ben Laity (.625, 1 HR, 6 RBI), picking his spots to hit .800 (8-10) with 1 HR, 4 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Eight in a row. The Portland Schmucks lost eight in a row there…

To be honest, I didn’t have vibes that Morales was gonna win Player of the Week in the second week of the season and was kinda confused when the notification arrived on Monday. Morales who? Our Morales? When?? Maybe isolated good performances can be completely drowned out by the chorus of a thousand suckers around the guy in question.

Randy Tallent was headed to the DL with a sore knee, maybe sprained. He probably wasn’t gonna miss a lot of time, but he was here as Swiss Army knife and with a bum knee we could probably find somebody else to sit on the bench and hit .200 for two weeks.

Things are bad enough right now that a look at the AAA roster can’t hurt. Tetsu Kurihara is pretending that he can pitch down there, and Nick Walla had a fine three starts to begin the season for a 2.38 ERA. For batters there’s not a lot to go around except a pair of outfielders that are hitting .390-ish. The first one is Randy Harrop, a 2059 eighth-rounder that was already 26 years old and was filed away under “organizational chuff” a few years ago, while the other was 23-year-old 2063 fourth-rounder Jamie Colter. Neither was a power hitter or centerfielder. Colter played all corner positions with some form of competence, however, so maybe he could cover for Tallent for two weeks…? Grain of salt, though: he only had 22 AAA games under his belt, 12 of them this year, and last year had just hit .235 in September. You couldn’t find a much smaller sample size for your last straw.

And in April…!

Two more teams coming in on this homestand, with the Thunder and Indians both visiting for three more games each. No off day on Monday, so we’ll need to come up with a plan for a spot starter. And soon.

Fun Fact: Despite rumors to the contrary, Jack Kozak (3-for-his-last-31) is not leading the league in strikeouts.

Dan Sandoval has 23 K on those Bayhawks, which is five more than Kozak at this point. There’s also five other players in between those two, including Danny Starwalt (20 K) which might go some way to explain why the Indians are the only team more blue in the face than the Critters.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (6-13) vs. Thunder (9-9) – April 27-29, 2065

The Thunder had started the season 1-8, and the Coons were on a 1-8 run now, and, oh, also didn’t have a starter for this game while the Thunder were now on a W4 run. They ranked third in runs scored, fifth in runs allowed, had a +18 run differential, and the less said about the Raccoons’ stats, the better. Oklahoma had won six of nine games in this pairing last year.

Projected matchups:
Jeff Applegate (0-0) vs. Joe Napier (0-1, 5.48 ERA)
Chance Fox (0-2, 5.03 ERA) vs. Aaron Harris (2-1, 2.70 ERA)
Josh Elling (2-1, 3.86 ERA) vs. Tyler Riddle (2-0, 3.38 ERA)

Riddle returned to Portland and would feature as the only left-handed opponent for us in this series.

The Raccoons utilized the Randy Tallent injury to open a roster spot by moving him to the DL. We called up the most convenient warm body already on the 40-man roster, which turned out to be Jeff Applegate, who had been clobbered in his first two AAA starts of the season.

Of note was that we had Jose Corral ready to come off the DL on Wednesday, opening the door for another 1-day cameo by a different scrub on Tuesday.

Game 1
OCT: RF Almanza – C R. Lopez – LF B. Ramires – 3B Blackshire – 2B M. Weber – SS J. Caballero – 1B Laity – CF Jo. Parker – P Napier
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – LF Kozak – SS Aoki – 1B Vargas – CF Garmon – P Applegate

In addition to all the other woes surrounding the Raccoons it was also drizzling pretty much from the start of the game. The Thunder forced a 1-0 lead on the Critters in the bottom 1st when Napier nicked Spicer, gave him an extra base with a wild pitch, and Burkart obliged and singled home Spicer from second base. However, Applecore was soon taken apart – with support – when Dave Blackshire and Mike Weber reached base to begin the second inning, and both scored on a capital throwing error by Victor Morales on Jorge Caballero’s grounder to flip the score immediately. Applecore balked, allowed an RBI single to Ben Laity, and then we had a 30-minute rain delay. What a game.

Applegate couldn’t throw ******* strikes, which was an issue, and loaded the bases with Ramon Lopez, Bill Ramires, and Blackshire, as well as nobody out, in the third inning, walking two of them while Ramires singled. Somehow the Thunder didn’t score in the inning when Weber popped out and Caballero hit into a 6-4-3 double play. Applecore never stopped being awful, walked six Thunders in total in 5.2 innings before being disposed of, and was right away ushered back to the bus station and outta town. He was charged with four runs (three earned), the last run scoring on the watch of Juan Carrillo, who allowed a 2-out RBI single to Roberto Almanza, plating Johnny Parker, whom Applecore had left behind on departure.

Bruce Burkart hit a leadoff single in the bottom 7th, which marked the third Coons hit against Napier. Besides Alex Vargas, nobody had gotten on base with a knock between Burkart’s first-inning RBI single and this leadoff hit. Monck, Kozak, and Aoki went down in order in spectacular harmlessness. Sansao Tyson allowed another run in the eighth inning, while in the bottom of the inning Marcos Arellano hit a leadoff single, was forced out by Garmon, who was forced out by Matas, who then scored on another Spicer triple. Morales popped out to leave the youngster on third base. The Coons needed an inning from McGinley in the ninth inning. They got the inning, but McGinley also got exploded for four more runs in a hard-to-explain display of utter uselessness. Bill Ramires led off with a jack to left, Blackshire walked, Weber, Laity, Alf Mendez, and Almanza all singled, and it just piled up at some point… The Raccoons scored a meaningless run in the ninth against Willie Mendoza, Novelo driving home Burkart, who was the only player currently escaping capital punishment with his performance… 9-3 Thunder. Burkart 3-4, RBI; Novelo (PH) 1-1, RBI; Arellano (PH) 1-1;

Applecore (0-1, 4.76 ERA) was removed from the roster without much fuss and replaced with outfielder Jamie Colter in an attempt to fling something at the wall that would stick.

Game 2
OCT: RF Almanza – C R. Lopez – 1B I. Stone – 3B Blackshire – 2B M. Weber – SS J. Caballero – LF Alf. Mendez – CF Jo. Parker – P Aa. Harris
POR: LF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – RF Colter – SS Aoki – CF Garmon – P Fox

The Portland .300s fell behind in the top 1st for another unearned run caused by a Morales error, although Fox also walked two to create unnecessary traffic. The Coons tied it up quickly though, as Spicer singled, stole second, and then was singled across home plate by the same guilty Morales in the bottom 1st. Burkart hit into a double play before Monck singled, but Kozak grounded out to short. Chance Fox probably was a hopeless cause on the pitching side, but he hit the third consecutive single for the 7-8-9 batters in the bottom 2nd to drive in Aoki for a 2-1 lead. Spicer whiffed and Morales flew out to left to end the inning. The Coons wasted another pair of runners in the third inning when Monck *and* Kozak reached (in the same inning!!), but found no support from the debutant Colter and Aoki.

Foxie Brown did have a few good innings after the rumpling start, allowing only two hits through five innings, then hit another wall in the sixth inning when Ian Stone singled and he then walked the bags full with Blackshire and Weber, and one out. Jorge Caballero grounded sharply to Kozak, who went for the bold play – and the Coons turned it successfully, 3-6-1 to end the inning and preserve the skinny 2-1 lead. That was all for Fox, who needed exactly 100 pitches to get through six innings.

Jamie Colter singled to center with one out in the bottom 6th, marking his first ABL knock, but was forced out by Aoki, who was left on base when Garmon grounded out. Dover then got the ball for the seventh. Alf Mendez hit a single right away before the Thunder made two outs. Tony Rodriquez then pinch-hit for Almanza for a lefty stick, doubled to center, and I saw the lead go away before Garmon made a slick play in center, fired the ball back in, Monck was positioned perfectly for the relay, and Mendez, starting from first, was thrown out at the plate – by inches – ending the inning. Instead, the Coons tacked on a run in the bottom 7th with straight 1-out singles by the 1-2-3 batters against Brian Doster. Monck and Kozak both hit a grounder to a middle infielder, but Caballero bungled the latter one for an error, conceding another run. Colter then slapped another RBI single against Danny Baca before Novelo ended the inning in place of Aoki against the southpaw Baca. Burkart added another run, doubling home Serrano against Baca, who also nailed a pinch-hitting Arellano, in the bottom 8th. McDaniel and Morris finished the game on the hill for Portland, without the Thunder getting another stab at a rally. 6-1 Coons. Spicer 2-5; Morales 2-4, RBI; Burkart 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Monck 2-5; Colter 2-4, RBI; Fox 6.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 4 BB, 6 K, W (1-2) and 1-2, RBI;

Corral returned for the rubber game, although we were up against a southpaw Riddle. Carlos Matas (.182, 0 HR, 1 RBI) was returned to AAA, with Colter remaining on the roster for the time being, although he was also not in the lineup for the Wednesday game.

Game 3
OCT: RF Almanza – 1B I. Stone – C Bohannon – 3B Bonilla – 2B M. Weber – SS Blackshire – LF Jo. Parker – CF F. Gomez – P Riddle
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – LF Kozak – 2B Monck – 1B Vargas – CF Garmon – SS Serrano – P Elling

Felix Gomez and Ian Stone put a pair of singles together for the game’s first run in the third inning, and it wasn’t long after that when we got an hourlong rain delay, because April in Oregon (like any other month) was mostly there to get you wet. The rain delay held Elling to five innings, which wasn’t great, and he gave up another run in the fourth inning with a walk to Weber and a Johnny Parker RBI single. The Coons had only two hits in five innings, which wasn’t a lot, and definitely not enough to keep up.

Morris grabbed the ball for the sixth and got beaten around by the 5-6-7 batters for a third Thunder run. Riddle appeared unfazed by rain or Raccoons and had his 2-hitter going into the eighth inning on a manageable pitch count, but got plink-plonked for a pair of soft 1-out singles by Serrano and Novelo at the bottom of the order to bring the tying run to the dish for a change. Spicer struck out, and Morales hit a double to left, plating Serrano, but Novelo was thrown out at the plate by Parker to end the inning. In turn, Carrillo, the dumb ****, loaded the bases with a single, walk, and hit batter in the top 9th and then had his stupid tush dug out by McDaniel, who got a pop on the infield from Alberto Bonilla to end the inning. That put the Coons up against Brian Fuqua with a 3-1 deficit in the bottom 9th, and nominally they would bring up three good hitters, even though two of them were in monthlong death spirals. Burkart fanned. Kozak grounded out. And Monck grounded out as well. 3-1 Thunder. Novelo (PH) 1-1;

Raccoons (7-15) vs. Indians (5-16) – May 1-3, 2065

The Indians were the one and only team this year that the Raccoons had taken a series (2-1) from so far, and with any luck we might repeat that rousing success against the .238 team that crawled back into Portland at the start of May. They had lost six in a row, ranked tenth in runs scored and runs allowed, and had a -25 run differential. Oddly, that was *better* than the Coons, who were at 11th, 12th, and -41, respectively… Catcher Victor Reyna was the only DL occupant for Indy.

Projected matchups:
Shoma Nakayama (1-3, 5.11 ERA) vs. Raul Ontiveros (0-3, 5.79 ERA)
Angel Alba (0-4, 6.12 ERA) vs. Keith Thompson (1-2, 3.29 ERA)
Jeff Crowley (1-1, 5.32 ERA) vs. Ramon Carreno (1-2, 3.00 ERA)

We would draw only right-handers to finish the homestand.

Game 1
IND: CF E. Ramirez – 3B M. Martin – 1B M. Rogers – C Atencio – RF B. Johnston – SS Sowell – LF Lovins – 2B Falcon – P Ontiveros
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – C Burkart – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – SS Aoki – CF Garmon – P Nakayama

Rich Monck made an error in the first inning which combined with two hits for Matt Martin and Vinny Atencio served to allow the Indians to score an earned run against Nakayama, but then showed hints of a pulse, along with Kozak in the bottom 1st, in which Spicer singled and stole his 10th base of the year before Morales also got on base. The troubled core pair then socked a 2-run double and an RBI single, respectively, giving Nakayama a 3-1 lead before the inning ended with Aoki.

There was just no hope for this pitching staff, though. Nakayama had two calm innings, then pointlessly walked Bryan Johnston and gave up a game-tying homer to Ken Sowell in the fourth inning. That remained the score through five, with Spicer hitting another single in the fifth, stealing second again, and not trusting the remainder of the lineup with much ability to lend a paw, tried to steal third base as well, but was thrown out by Atencio; and after forcing out Franklin Serrano with a grounder in the seventh inning, Spicer would try to steal second base again, but was again bested by Atencio to end the inning. The score remained even at three for all this time, with Nakayama going to bed after seven innings. Tyson had a scoreless eighth despite nicking Atencio and walking Johnston, but McGinley got whacked around AGAIN for three singles by Miguel Falcon, Matt Martin, and Matt Rogers in the ninth inning and allowed the go-ahead run to score for Indy. The Coons got the tying run on base against Cody Kleidon to begin the bottom 9th as Novelo singled in place of Aoki, but was then forced out by Garmon. Arellano batted for that dolt McGinley, struck out, but Garmon stole second during the at-bat. Jose Corral flew out to center. 4-3 Indians. Spicer 2-4; Monck 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Kozak 2-4, RBI; Novelo (PH) 1-1; Garmon 2-4; Serrano (PH) 1-1;

Game 2
IND: CF E. Ramirez – 3B M. Martin – LF Dowsey – 1B Starwalt – C Atencio – RF B. Johnston – SS G. Lujan – 2B Falcon – P K. Thompson
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – C Arellano – CF Kozak – 1B Vargas – SS Novelo – P Alba

While Alba leaned on a defense that had so far been all too eager to betray him in the first few innings, the Raccoons got a gift runner in the bottom 2nd when Arellano reached because Danny Starwalt could not contain the short hop on a bad throw to first by Guillermo Lujan with one out. Jack Kozak hit a ball into the gap for an RBI triple before Vargas struck out. Novelo, very un-Coons-like, hit a 2-out RBI single to center, and Alba added another single before Jose Corral, 0-for-6 since coming off the DL, smashed a 3-run homer to right-center to open up the score to 5-0 immediately. Thompson allowed a double to Monck in the third inning before leaving with an injury. Roberto Ponce de Leon replaced him and got bleached for three more hits and as many runs by the Coons batters, firstly Kozak with an RBI double, and then more RBI knocks by Vargas and Novelo, extending the lead to 8-0.

At that point you worried for the Indians, because even this Raccoons pitching staff had its work cut out for it to blow an 8-run lead in six innings, and then Alba did reasonably well through five, although he scattered quite a few runners. The Indians loaded the bags with Atencio, Johnston, and Lujan in the sixth, but with two outs and Falcon flew out easily to Spicer in left. That inning, Morales singled and scored on a gap double by Monck to tack on another run, 9-0.

Could there be a shutout? Angel Alba had really high stamina, but broke through the 100 pitch mark in the eighth inning, reaching 110 by the end of the eighth. The Coons were up against former farmhand Travis Glovinsky in the bottom 8th. Spicer singled, Serrano doubled in place of Morales, driving home the squirrely Spicer, and a walk to Monck and a welt to Kozak loaded the bases for Alex Vargas, who hit his first ABL home run, and it was a – GRAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!

The Coons then brought Alba back, but he issued a 4-pitch walk to Lujan to begin the ninth and was immediately whisked away for Cruz Madrid to finish the ballgame without damage instead. 14-0 Furballs!! Serrano (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; Monck 2-4, BB, 2 2B, RBI; Kozak 2-4, 3B, 2B, 2 RBI; Vargas 3-5, HR, 4 RBI; Novelo 3-5, 2 RBI; Alba 8.0 IP, 7 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 5 K, W (1-4) and 2-4, RBI;

We had 16 hits, two walks, and left only five batters on base in this game, which I would almost describe as “fun”, quite the novel sentiment in 2065. It also gave the red lantern in runs allowed to the Arrowheads.

Pitching change for the Indians on Sunday, as they went with Antonio Pichardo (0-1, 6.00 ERA) instead of the long-ago Critter Carreno. He was a dexter one anyway…

Game 3
IND: CF E. Ramirez – 3B M. Martin – LF Dowsey – 1B Starwalt – RF B. Johnston – SS Sowell – C Maresh – 2B Falcon – P Pichardo
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – C Burkart – CF Kozak – 1B Vargas – SS Novelo – P Crowley

It was near freezing (38 degrees) for this Sunday afternoon game IN MAY to close out the week, but the Raccoons came back out hitting in the first inning, so maybe it wouldn’t be such a miserable experience anyway. Spicer singled and stole second base, his 12th theft on the year, then scored right away on a Morales single to center. Kozak would plate Morales with two outs after Burkart reached on an error, but Vargas left two on base with a groundout. Crowley also started like a fire engine, striking out five of the first eight Indians batters before walking Pichardo on four pitches, which I found genuinely hard to explain. He then balked the pitcher to second before Eddy Ramirez surrendered himself with a bouncer to Morales. Justin Dowsey, Starwalt, and Sowell then all hit singles off Crowley in the fourth for a run, 2-1, but at least Novelo remained on top of Chris Maresh’s grounder to keep runners on the corners. The Indians left another run on second base in the fifth, then had Dowsey and Johnston on the corners in the sixth when Sowell spanked a ball into an inning-ending, 5-4-3 double play.

The Raccoons continued to take their turns at the plate, they just didn’t ******* do anything after the first inning. Spicer hit a leadoff double in the bottom 6th and was left on base. Monck was excused for that, being intentionally walked, but not for his game-tying, 2-out throwing error in the top 7th that plated Falcon with the tying run, peppering away a pinch-hit grounder by Matt Rogers. Martin flew out then, completing seven for a 2-2 tie for Crowley, who was hit for after Novelo’s 1-out double to left off Pichardo in the bottom 7th. Jamie Colter singled up the middle, but Novelo was thrown out at the plate by Steve Thompson, and the game remained tied. The Coons then had Morales and Burkart singles in the bottom 8th, but the one that would have been crucial, a long drive to center by Monck, was caught by Steve Thompson and the inning went absolutely nowhere.

Tellingly, the Raccoons then forewent McGinley in the ninth-inning tie and stuck to Dover, who, following McDaniel, had gotten the final out in the eighth inning. Dover did not allow a runner, except for Guillermo Lujan, who reached on an error by Vargas. Indy sent lefty Bob West into the bottom 9th and against the bottom of the order. Novelo again got on base with one out, singling to left, while Arellano batted for Dover, grounded to third base, and Martin was eaten up by the ball and charged an error that moved the winning run to second base. Corey Garmon batted for an 0-for-4 Corral against the southpaw, but floated harmlessly to Thompson, and Spicer pretty much did the same, sending the game to overtime.

This time, McGinley got the ball, with two left-handed batters and a pitcher in the next four batters. He walked Starwalt with one out, allowed a double to Johnston, and then conceded a run on Chris Lovins’ sac fly… Infurryating! Cody Kleidon came on then, retired Morales and Monck without much further ado, and then ran into Bruce Burkart, who saved everybody’s bacon with a 2-out, game-tying homer to dead center!! Kozak got on after that, but Vargas whiffed and the game continued. Carrillo barely got around a leadoff knock by Falcon in the 11th, while the Indians gave a second inning to Kleidon. Novelo grounded out, but Serrano and Garmon clipped singles. Spicer’s grounder to second wasn’t gonna do it, but at least Spicer was hard to double up and the inning continued with the winning run at third base and two outs. Vic Morales had enough of this game, though, shoved a single through between Falcon and Starwalt, and the Raccoons had another series win…! 4-3 Blighters. Spicer 3-6, 2B; Morales 3-6, 2 RBI; Burkart 2-5, HR, RBI; Novelo 2-5, 2B; Colter (PH) 1-1; Serrano (PH) 1-1; Crowley 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 7 K;

Wheee…we can beat the Indians, just about.

In other news

April 27 – The Loggers acquire SP Carlos Rodriguez (1-1, 4.29 ERA) from the Condors for AAA LF/CF Roberto Arcos, a .252 hitter in the majors, and #96 prospect SP Alan Fullen.
April 28 – A torn ankle ligament would keep CIN OF Melvin Avila (.250, 2 HR, 4 RBI) out of games for a month.
April 29 – Capitals swingman Joe Hoke (0-0, 2.16 ERA) ends the 27-game hitting streak of Dallas’ Xavier Reyes (.430, 0 HR, 15 RBI), who goes 0-for-2 in a 9-2 win against the Caps before Hoke hits him in the wrist with a pitch. To add injury to insult, Reyes has to go on the DL with a bad bruise and might miss three weeks.
April 29 – The Pacifics beat the Miners, 11-10 in 15 innings. Both teams score at least one run in all of the 12th, 13th, and 14th innings before L.A. breaks through in the 15th.
May 2 – PIT SP Cameron Parks (3-1, 2.43 ERA) is expected to miss four months with a torn labrum.
May 2 – The Rebels acquire SP Bobby Marceau (1-1, 3.24 ERA) from the Stars for infielder Jeff Maudlin (.375, 0 HR, 0 RBI) and a prospect.
May 2 – MIL RF/CF Dave Wright (.400, 4 HR, 17 RBI) hits a home run to beat the Crusaders, 1-0.
May 3 – Nashville SP Ken McDonald (3-2, 5.45 ERA) throws a 1-hit shutout against the Capitals, 11-0, with seven strikeouts. The only Caps hit is a single by 1B Kevin Huffman (.305, 4 HR, 13 RBI).
May 3 – A broken hand will put SFB 2B/LF Armando Montoya (.228, 2 HR, 7 RBI) on the DL for up to three months, and certainly won’t improve the Bayhawks’ chances to try and stay above water.
May 3 – The Crusaders walk off against the Loggers, 8-7 in 11 innings. ALL the runs in the game score in the 11th inning. ALL of them!

FL Player of the Week: PIT C/1B Nick Dingman (.313, 7 HR, 19 RBI), batting .522 (12-23) with 4 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: BOS INF Diego Mendoza (.365, 1 HR, 15 RBI), clipping .550 (11-20) with 1 HR, 4 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: SAL OF Bill Davidson (.416, 7 HR, 23 RBI)
CL Hitter of the Month: MIL 2B/SS Fidel Carrera (.325, 7 HR, 15 RBI)
FL Pitcher of the Month: DAL SP Andy Canada (4-0, 1.52 ERA)
CL Pitcher of the Month: BOS SP Mike Bell (4-0, 1.85 ERA)
FL Rookie of the Month: PIT INF/LF Edgar Gonzales (.333, 0 HR, 13 RBI)
CL Rookie of the Month: OCT 1B/LF/RF Ben Laity (.545, 1 HR, 8 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Scoring seven in the 11th and then allowing eight is such a Loggers way to lose a ballgame.

And yes, I’m looking for something to punch down on while we don’t have a lot to be happy about. Although Monck and Kozak showed some signs of life towards the end of the week, Corral is back and maybe at some point will hit over .200, and at least some of the Critters are honestly giving it a go. That doesn’t include the bullpen, which I want to collectively lock in a tiny barrel and then throw that tiny barrel into the Willamette before we get outta town again.

At least they’re gonna be out of my sight while they go to Elk City for the first leg of a weeklong road trip. I will get to rejoin the Critters in Cincy this weekend.

Fun Fact: If we get to play the Indians another 21 times, we’ll be back at .500!

Cristiano, I don’t care whether that is not how it works. We already *have* 25 reasons for why it doesn’t work!!

[Westheim]

Raccoons (9-16) @ Canadiens (14-9) – May 4-7, 2065

For some wicked reason, the baseball gods now favored the damn Elks again, who were second in the division and just half a game off the top spot despite being rather pedestrian in both runs scored and runs allowed. Speaking of pedestrian, the Raccoons would also compete in these games, so all bets were off. We had already lost 11 games to the damn Elks last year.

Projected matchups:
Chance Fox (1-2, 3.86 ERA) vs. Ken Nielsen (2-0, 2.37 ERA)
Josh Elling (2-2, 3.82 ERA) vs. Ed Nadeau (0-3, 4.30 ERA)
Shoma Nakayama (1-3, 4.83 ERA) vs. Johnny Doolin (2-2, 3.31 ERA)
Angel Alba (1-4, 4.64 ERA) vs. Martyn Polaco (1-2, 6.27 ERA)

Not one, but *two* southpaws (Nadeau, Polaco) in one series. Would wonders ever cease?

Game 1
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – C Burkart – CF Kozak – SS Aoki – 1B Colter – P Fox
VAN: SS C. Castro – C Varner – CF R. Atkins – 1B Whetstine – LF N. Vaughn – RF Lozada – 2B Yue – 3B Spalding – P Nielsen

What would really make everything even more miserable right from the start would be for Chance Fox to not retire ******* anybody, and he didn’t. Carlos Castro singled and stole second, Steve Varner walked, and then the Elks chopped him for another four hits and three runs before Hsi-chuen Yue’s also-run-scoring double-play grounder that ran the score to 4-0 in the first inning. Steven Spalding then grounded out to end the ******* inning. Fox never ******* got his **** together in this game and got further raped for three more runs in the bottom 3rd, allowing two hits to Chad Whetstine and Nick Vaughn, and after a Roberto Lozada double play grounder an RBI single to Yue and a Spalding homer. Seven runs in three innings was enough. Not that Jarod Morris was any less *****; starting with a single, walk, single sequence against the top of the order in the bottom 4th just like Fox had done in the first, and giving up another run for it. Spalding and Castro hits gave the Elks another run in the fifth, and Jamie Colter dropped a 2-out pop with runners on the corners to concede an unearned run – ooh, the excitement! – in the sixth inning. Carrillo got ****** apart for another three runs in the seventh, and that made it a 13-0 game and back home in Portland a GM with a very wet face by the time Jose Corral hit another absolutely ******* pointless home run in the eighth inning. 13-1, squee! Spicer hit his way on and the Raccoons then whacked left-hander Jeremy Garvey around for another two runs, not that it was gonna help in this bloody ballgame anymore. Pablo Novelo pitched a scoreless bottom 8th in his ongoing bid for the closer’s role. 13-3 Canadiens. Spicer 3-5, 2 2B; Morales 2-5, 2B;

Jarod Morris (1-1, 6.19 ERA) refused an assignment to AAA on Tuesday as the wheels kept falling off just 26 games into the season.

I hate their faces.

Game 2
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – LF Kozak – 2B Monck – 1B Vargas – CF Garmon – SS Serrano – P Elling
VAN: SS C. Castro – RF B. Campbell – 1B Whetstine – CF R. Atkins – LF N. Vaughn – 2B A. Castillo – C Varner – 3B Spalding – P Nadeau

The Coons had Spicer on with a single in the first, Monck on with a double in the second, and Serrano on by virtue of getting hit by a pitch to begin the third inning, and then finally did something other than hitting into a double play (Burkart) or just making crap outs in sequence when Vic Morales lifted a 2-run homer to left for the first runs on Tuesday night.

Elling scattered four hits in the first three innings without allowing a run, then in the middle innings cranked up the strikeouts a bit, and the pitch count along with it. The Elks were still off the board, and Elling had seven strikeouts through six innings, but he was also already over 90 pitches. The Raccoons still held a 2-0 lead, most recently frittering away an invitation by Nadeau to obliterate him by walking the bases full in the top of the sixth, but Franklin Serrano popped out to leave Burkart, Monck, and Garmon stranded. Both teams had a runner (Spicer, Spalding) on base in the seventh, and both runners were caught stealing to accelerate proceedings; Elling was also finished after seven innings. McDaniel pitched a scoreless eighth before the Raccoons got Vargas and Garmon on the corners against ex-Coon Elijah LaBat in the ninth inning. Serrano’s fly to center was caught by Rick Atkins, who threw out Vargas at home to prevent any tack-on shenanigans, and so an innocent 2-0 lead went to McGinley, who immediately gave up a run on an Atkins double and Lozada RBI single before the Elks slowly filled up the bases with two outs and Spalding drawing a walk before Chris Richardson reached on an error by Burkart. Willie Villafan struck out for some reason to end the game. 2-1 Blighters. Spicer 2-4; Burkart 1-2, 2 BB; Garmon 0-1, 2 BB; Elling 7.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 7 K, W (3-2);

They can’t even *blow* a game when they try their darndest…!!

Game 3
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – C Arellano – CF Kozak – SS Aoki – 1B Colter – P Nakayama
VAN: SS C. Castro – RF B. Campbell – 1B Whetstine – CF R. Atkins – 2B A. Castillo – C Varner – LF Lozada – 3B Spalding – P Doolin

Another day, another sucker was born, and this time it was Nakayama, tumbling out of the clubhouse with the plastic bag already over his head, and it unraveled from there. Castro singled, Brent Campbell walked, and Atkins doubled home the pair in the bottom 1st, and after that it was either a 3-ball count or a long fly to the outfield, and hardly anything in between for Nakayama the rest of the way. He needed a whopping 90 pitches through five innings, even without allowing another run. He came back for the sixth inning, then in a 2-1 score thanks to a Kozak homer in the top 6th after five innings of trying to exist in a vacuum for the Coons, gave up a 3-2 rocket to Atkins that was caught by Corral to begin the bottom 6th, allowed Alex Castillo on base, who was forced out by Varner, and Varner then tried to score on a double socked with two outs by Lozada, but he was thrown out at the plate to end the inning after a nice play by Corral.

That ended Nakayama’s troubles for the week, but the rest of the team still had sucks to give. Serrano and Vargas pinch-hit for the 8-9 batters to begin the top 7th, the latter doubling to right before being stranded when Corral whiffed and Spicer popped out. Dover held the Elks away in the bottom 7th before Monck’s double to left-center against Mike Perez put the tying run in scoring position again with one gone in the eighth. Arellano fanned and Kozak flew out to center to waste that one away. They were similarly listless in the ninth inning against LaBat, who walked two in Novelo and Vargas, but Burkart pinch-hit and bumbled into a double play in between, preventing any momentum from being gained. The game ended with Corral grounding out to Whetstine. 2-1 Canadiens. Morales 2-4; Vargas (PH) 1-1, BB, 2B;

(lies facedown in the cushions, moping)

Game 4
POR: RF Corral – 3B Morales – C Burkart – LF Kozak – 2B Monck – SS Novelo – 1B Vargas – CF Garmon – P Alba
VAN: SS C. Castro – RF B. Campbell – 1B Whetstine – CF R. Atkins – LF N. Vaughn – 2B A. Castillo – C Varner – 3B Spalding – P Polaco

Igor, the tiniest and nastiest of the baseball gods, had earlier divined that a FOURTH game to this series would be the greatest punishment they could possibly dole out, so here it was.

Corral was still far away from hitting .200, but opened the game with a double to right, moving up on a groundout and scoring on a wild pitch for the game’s first run. Angel Alba threw one pitch to blow the 1-0 lead with a Castro homer, then just a couple more to allow a triple to Campbell, who was not scored by Whetstine, who popped out, but Atkins and his groundout, and just like that it was 2-1 Elks again.

After a silent second, the Raccoons got a 1-out infield single from Corral in the top 3rd, then a Morales double to left. Polaco filled the bases with a walk to Burkart in a full count, continuing his career-long trend of walking more than he’d strike out. When Polaco fell to 3-0 against Kozak next, I yelled at the TV 300 miles away that he should ******* hold still – and he did, watching a ball roll over home plate for ball four and the game-tying run being forced in by it. Monck got a fat first pitch, but missed the sweet spot, hitting an RBI single, while Novelo lined out to short. Alex Vargas emptied the bases with a double to left, 6-2, but was thrown out himself at third base to end the inning, but that was after Monck had already crossed home plate.

Of course you couldn’t leave Angel Alba alone with a 6-2 lead either. He would put the leadoff man on base three innings out of the next four, and allowed six hits in total in those four innings. The Elks found a double play and stranded four batters, but did score a run in the bottom 5th when Nick Vaughn doubled home a run, 6-3. On the other side the Raccoons didn’t score in the middle innings; the top 7th saw Kozak reach on a 2-out error by Castro, then score on singles by Monck and Novelo. Vargas walked against Robbie Lingard, but Colter struck out when he batted for Garmon.

Alba somehow managed to work through seven innings despite the constant on-base traffic and maintained the 7-3 lead. Madrid got the ball for the eighth and was taken deep by Atkins to create another ******* save opportunity / opportunity to create havoc for McGinley, although this time the Elks made two groundouts before Castro legged out a single that didn’t reach the outfield grass against Novelo. Campbell went down on strikes to end the series in an even split. 7-4 Raccoons. Corral 2-5, 2B; Monck 4-5, RBI; Novelo 2-5, 2B, RBI;

Raccoons (11-18) @ Cyclones (16-12) – May 8-10, 2065

It had been a rough two decades in Cincinnati, where a second-place finish in 2064 had been a rousing success after a full decade of getting beaten and beaten and beaten and almost exclusively finishes in the bottom two in the FL East. They were currently leading the division while scoring the second-most runs and allowing an average number of runs, although their rotation had an ERA over five. On offense they were striking homers, but had no speed, and defense was cruddy; also, Dallas Baker and Mel Avila were missing from the lineup with injuries. The Coons beat the Cyclones, two outta three, in the last meeting in ’63, and had won the last four series played between these teams.

Projected matchups:
Jeff Crowley (1-1, 4.34 ERA) vs. Edwin Moreno (1-2, 3.93 ERA)
Chance Fox (1-3, 5.65 ERA) vs. Blake Anderson (3-1, 3.06 ERA)
Josh Elling (3-2, 3.11 ERA) vs. Dan Albrecht (2-3, 5.30 ERA)

Another two southpaws to begin and end the series. Regrettably, we would be denied a face-to-face meeting with Randy Rautenstrauch (2-0, 6.10 ERA), who had gone on Wednesday.

Rich Monck got a day off on Friday.

Game 1
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – LF Kozak – SS Novelo – 2B Serrano – 1B Vargas – CF Garmon – P Crowley
CIN: SS J. Munoz – LF R. Soto – C Heath – 1B S. Jordan – CF Valencia – 2B J. Hernandez – RF Wil Martinez – 3B Rising – P Edw. Moreno

Crowley remained useless and was swatted around in the bottom 2nd with leadoff hits for Steve Jordan, Rafael Valencia, and Jordan Hernandez, which already scored a run for Cincy, with more runs coming on Kevin Rising’s single and finally a ******* balk as the Coons were in a quick 3-0 hole again while wasting three singles the first time through the order themselves. Novelo and Serrano hit doubles to begin the fourth for a run, and Garmon singled home Serrano for a second run in the inning, but Garmon was left on base with the tying run. Jordan hit another leadoff single in the bottom 4th, was forced out, and the Cyclones didn’t score, either.

Catcher’s interference put Vic Morales on base to begin the fifth inning, and a Burkart double to left moved the tying and go-ahead runs into scoring position with nobody out. Kozak’s tame RBI single and a Serrano sac fly would flip the score, but the piece of **** in the brown cap just ****** it all away again in the bottom 5th. He nailed leadoff man Jorge Munoz, walked the bags full with Roberto Soto and Josh Heath, and then gave up without effort a 2-run double to Jordan. Valencia’s RBI groundout made it 6-4 and brought the bullpen into the game, but Dover couldn’t keep the ******* runner on base either and surrendered it right away with another single served up to Jordan Hernandez, 7-4.

The stupid Coons went on to waste pairs of singles by Colter and Spicer in the sixth, then Kozak and Serrano in the seventh inning without scoring anything; but Jarod Morris managed to **** two more runs onto the board with a single to Jordan, a walk to Valencia, and then John MacDonnell’s 2-run double. Top 8th, Garmon, Monck, and Spier hit straight singles against Jonathan Thomas for a run, and when Thomas was replaced with Kyle Houck, Morales hit another single and Burkart hit a sac fly, but the inning fizzled out with Kozak’s run-scoring groundout. Thanks to being FIVE RUNS DOWN AGAIN, the Raccoons’ scoring three wasn’t nearly enough, and Novelo’s groundout ended the inning, with the team still short by a pair, which didn’t change in the ninth inning. 9-7 Cyclones. Spicer 2-5, RBI; Burkart 2-4, 2B, RBI; Kozak 2-5, 2 RBI; Serrano 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Garmon 3-5, RBI; Colter (PH) 1-1; Monck (PH) 1-1;

Jarod Morris (1-1, 6.88 ERA) again refused an assignment to AAA and was then fired.

The Raccoons brought up Nick Walla, who had made one spot start for the Raccoons last season and who was 3-2 with a 2.09 ERA in AAA this year, and who was expected to find a hole in the rotation in some way or other. This happened quicker than any Chance Fox fans (stranger things exist) might have liked, since Fox was voided from his Saturday start and the 24-year-old Walla inserted instead. It was his regular day to pitch after having gone on Monday.

Game 2
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – C Arellano – CF Kozak – SS Aoki – 1B Vargas – P Walla
CIN: SS J. Munoz – LF R. Soto – RF MacDonnell – 1B S. Jordan – CF Valencia – 2B J. Hernandez – C J. Contreras – 3B Rising – P B. Anderson

Walla struck out four batters the first time through, which was one shy of Anderson’s five, as offense was absolutely at a premium in the early innings. The Raccoons still managed to waste three singles, because they were really good at that, before Monck reached on an error by Jordan to begin the top 4th. Arellano singled, and a Kozak grounder moved them into scoring position. Yukio Aoki raked a double to right to drive in the game’s first two runs. While Anderson got Vargas on strikes, he failed against Walla, who clipped a 2-out RBI single to give himself a 3-0 lead before the inning ended with Corral, still not hitting .200…

Walla looked fine through four innings, but we can’t have fine here, so he had to get his snout beaten in before long. Jonathan Contreras, hitting all of .130, homered to begin the bottom 5th, and from there Rising, Munoz, and MacDonnell all smacked singles off Walla to get the game tied. Walla went on to pitch six and two thirds in the 3-3 tie without regaining the lead, and was knocked out by Munoz’ 2-out single in the bottom 7th. Tyson replaced him, allowed another single to Soto, but then got MacDonnell to ground out to Monck, leaving Walla with the no-decision.

Rich Monck technically still existed and while he didn’t get the ball over the wall, he at least managed to come up with an RBI double in the gap after Morales’ shy leadoff single in the eighth, which made it a 4-3 lead still against Blake Anderson, who struck out the next two on his way out of the inning without allowing Monck’s run. Tyson then faced Steve Jordan to begin the bottom 8th, got a comebacker and threw it away for two bases, then got beaten out of the game. Carrillo then somehow retired Valencia, Wil Martinez, and Contreras in order on a groundout and two pops on the infield without allowing that unearned tying run.

Spicer and Morales had 2-out singles off John Faughnan in the ninth, but Monck couldn’t come through with another hit and the runners were stranded. That left a 4-3 lead at the mercy of Jon McGinley, which could hardly end well. Danny Moraida opened the bottom 9th with a single from the #8 hole before Josh Heath struck out against the southpaw. McGinley then allowed a screamer to center to Munoz, who settled for a double while the runner Moraida settled for getting thrown out at the plate by Kozak, which made for *some* sort of second out. Soto fell to 1-2 before hitting a high foul pop near the rightfield line. Corral went over there, reached, ****** it, and the batter got another shot in the box when the ******* game should have ENDED. He then grounded out to Monck. 4-3 Blighters. Spicer 2-5; Morales 2-5; Arellano 2-4; Aoki 3-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Walla 6.2 IP, 8 H, 3 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 8 K and 1-3, RBI;

These Portland Panics are killing me…

No, Chance, I didn’t say “picnic”! – What are you doing here anyway, don’t you have sitting in the pen and hanging your head in shame to do??

Game 3
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – LF Kozak – 2B Monck – SS Serrano – 1B Vargas – CF Garmon – P Elling
CIN: SS J. Munoz – 2B J. Hernandez – RF MacDonnell – 1B S. Jordan – CF R. Valencia – LF Wil Martinez – C J. Contreras – 3B Rising – P Albrecht

The Coons went up 1-0 in the first on Sunday when Spicer singled, stole second, and scored on a Burkart knock. Before anybody else scored, the two teams combined for three double plays in the next four half-innings, then. The Coons did it twice, in case you weren’t sure. Elling held the Cyclones to two hits in four innings before leading off the fifth with a single to center. He was then almost overtaken when Spicer bashed a ball into the left-center gap for extra bases. Elling thought he’d go to third base on a double, but found the third base coach to windmill him on since there was no way Spicer was gonna stop at second base on a ball to the fence. The Cyclones played the ball inefficiently, which was all that allowed a puffing Elling to score on the triple, 2-0. Morales and Burkart then made ***** outs on the infield for two dumb outs, but Kozak clipped a 2-out RBI single, and Monck hit another single, but those two were stranded by Serrano grounding out to short. Spicer drove in another run his next time up, though, plating Corey Garmon with a 2-out RBI single in the sixth.

Elling, despite going the extra mile on the base paths, held the Cyclones off the board until Vic Morales chimed in with an error in the bottom 6th, putting Hernandez on base. MacDonnell then walked and Elling gave up an unearned run on Valencia’s 2-out RBI single before ringing up Wil Martinez. Top 7th, the Coons had a Burkart single and Kozak double to begin the inning, putting a pair in scoring position for Monck against Albrecht. The slugger again settled for an RBI single, 5-1, while Albrecht was yanked after walking Serrano. Vargas hit a sac fly against a new lefty, Mike Gunter, who allowed a single to Garmon to load the bases again, and then another single to Elling to drive in two more runs. An unretired Spicer singled, loading the bases once more, and the Cyclones couldn’t turn two on Morales’ grounder to short, as the Coons got another run on the fielder’s choice. One final run scored on a wild pitch by Gunter, 10-1. Singles in the eighth by Monck, Vargas, and Garmon against Kyle Houck added another run to the board, while Elling was done after seven innings. What was more surprising? That the Coons won by ten runs, or that they did so despite sending in Cruz Madrid for two innings…? 11-1 Raccoons. Spicer 4-5, 3B, 2 RBI; Burkart 3-6, RBI; Kozak 2-5, 2B, RBI; Monck 3-4, BB, RBI; Garmon 3-5, RBI; Elling 7.0 P, 5 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (4-2) and 2-4, 2 RBI; Madrid 2.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

In other news

May 4 – Aces SP Dan Graham (2-1, 1.56 ERA) shines with a 3-hit shutout in beating the Bayhawks, 6-0.
May 6 – Rebels OF Jeremy Jenkins (.351, 3 HR, 13 RBI) hits for the cycle in a 12-4 loss to the Buffaloes.
May 6 – SFW SP Phil Baker (3-1, 3.18 ERA) and CL Lorenzo Lucatero (1-2, 4.60 ERA, 6 SV) pitch a combined 1-hitter in a 4-1 win against the Pacifics, who are held hitless save for an eighth-inning leadoff double by 1B/CF/RF Jared Allen (.241, 3 HR, 11 RBI), who goes on to score L.A.’s only run.
May 7 – Condors SP Jose Lugo (2-0, 2.41, 1 SV) throws a 3-hit shutout to beat the Knights, 7-0.
May 8 – Crusaders SP Ben Seiter (3-2, 1.50 ERA) puts together a 2-hit shutout against the Scorpions, claiming a 5-0 win.
May 9 – BOS 1B Bill Joyner (.277, 4 HR, 20 RBI) has five hits wit a homer, a double, and six RBI in an 18-3 rout of the Capitals.
May 10 – SFW 1B Miguel Medina (.339, 11 HR, 30 RBI) romps three home runs for five RBI and otherwise walks three times in a 17-13 win against the Falcons. This is the second 3-homer game in Medina’s career, who previously achieved the feat against the Scorpions.

FL Player of the Week: RIC OF Jeremy Jenkins (.357, 4 HR, 15 RBI), batting .500 (13-26) with 2 HR, 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: BOS LF/CF Eddie Marcotte (.280, 6 HR, 18 RBI), poking .440 (11-25) with 2 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The majority of the pen was put on the trading block this week, surely coaxing some giggles out of the majority of league GM’s.

Chance Fox’ dismissal from the rotation might not be permanent. Alba, Nakayama, and Crowley have been just as awful. He had the misfortune to align with Nick Walla, though, who was the only sensible choice to call up from the AAA rotation to at least try and get some change going.

The offense rallied to tie for fifth place in runs scored this week. The absolutely rancid staff still makes for a -25 run differential and the worst pen outright, but, hey, a winning week! Barely!

The Coons will be home for three days, hosting the Stars, and then embark on another rough 4-city road trip to Milwaukee, New York, Tijuana, and Vegas.

Fun Fact: This year it’s been 20 years since the Cyclones made the postseason.

In that time they finished last a striking eight times and fifth another five times, so it’s not been a pleasant time in Cincinnati. They ended with a single-game deficit to first place just *once* in 2051.

Prior to going 80-82 for second place last season, 14 games out, they had not finished in the top division *or* within this many games or fewer since 2053, when a 76-86 campaign was good enough for third place in the FL East.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (13-19) vs. Stars (19-13) – May 11-13, 2065

The Stars would be another tough customer, given how they were allowing the fewest runs in the Federal League and the Raccoons were very much struggling. Dallas was fifth in runs scored and third in the FL West, albeit within half a game of the spot at the sun. These teams last played in 2061, when the Stars won two of three games from the Critters.

Projected matchups:
Shoma Nakayama (1-4, 4.54 ERA) vs. Alan Deakin (1-4, 7.26 ERA)
Angel Alba (2-4, 4.50 ERA) vs. Jay Everett (0-1, 5.40 ERA)
Jeff Crowley (1-2, 5.67 ERA) vs. Ray Walker (4-3, 3.59 ERA)

The baseball gods worked in mysterious ways, as the Stars only acquired the left-hander Deakin from the Wolves on Monday morning and he was on the bump that same night when they had better starters to send out. Deakin was the only left-hander in the rotation and cost them #54 prospect SP Lupe Chavez.

The Coons activated Randy Tallent from the DL before the series, sending Jamie Colter (.308, 0 HR, 1 RBI) back to AAA.

Game 1
DAL: SS Yocum – 2B Maudlin – RF Ju. De Luna – 1B Fresco – 3B R. Vargas – CF Robichaud – LF T. Pritchard – C Bothe – P Deakin
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – LF Kozak – 2B Monck – SS Serrano – 1B A. Vargas – CF Garmon – P Nakayama

The silly Raccoons got an invitation in the first inning with a four-pitch walk to Morales and Kozak reaching base on a 2-base throwing error by Ricardo Vargas, but Monck’s groundout to Vargas kept the free runners in scoring position. The Stars were less picky about exploiting mistakes; they were already up 1-0 in the second inning on three singles when Burkart also threw Deakin’s bunt away for two bases and another run. Morales drew a leadoff walk in the third and was doubled up by Burkart, while the Raccoons went meekly in entirety in the fourth inning. The Stars neglected bombing Nakayama when he gave them more free passes, then saw Deakin – after allowing one hit in 4.1 innings of work – load the bases with the 9-1-2 batters and three soft singles in the bottom 5th. But again Burkart was up, and again Burkart wobbled into a double play to end the inning.

On the other side Juan de Luna hit into a double play in the third inning and then was doubled up himself by Belchior Fresco after beginning the sixth inning with a single to center. Bottom 6th, the Raccoons got 1-out singles from Monck and Serrano before Deakin’s wild pitch moved the tying runs into scoring position for Alex Vargas, who flew out easily to shallow left and Tommy Pritchard’s waiting glove, and Corey Garmon was walked intentionally. Jose Corral batted for Nakayama, fanned bitterly, and the Raccoons stranded another set of runners. Jesse Dover then opened the bullpen failures for the week, allowing a leadoff hit to Jared Robichaud and a 2-out RBI double to ******* Alan Deakin in the seventh inning. Carrillo walked a pair of Stars in the eighth before having to be rescued by McDaniel, while Deakin pitched a 7-hit shutout against the unsuspecting Coons. 3-0 Stars. Morales 1-2, 2 BB; Serrano 2-4;

Useless.

Game 2
DAL: SS Yocum – 2B Maudlin – CF Wharton – 1B Fresco – LF C. Pritchett – RF T. Pritchard – 3B Robichaud – C Bothe – P R. Walker
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – C Arellano – 1B Kozak – SS Aoki – CF Garmon – P Alba

“Crabman” Walker was moved up to the middle game, presumably to firmly press a pillow on the Coons’ little snouts and a series win. He allowed singles to Morales in the first and Alba in the third inning, whiffed four, and was worse than Alba with that performance as Alba let nobody on base and struck out five Stars the first time through. Adam Yocum singled up the middle to begin the fourth inning, but was quickly 6-4-3’ed by Jeff Maudlin. Chad Pritchett singled and Robichaud got drilled in the fifth inning, but both were left on base when Jason Bothe grounded out. No strikeouts the second time through for Alba, while the Crabman was up to 9 K through six innings against the harmless Critters. Both teams were on two base hits through six, and no runs.

It was all too clear that the game was likely to be decided by a silly run at this point, and while Walker struck out Kozak for #10 in the seventh inning, he then stumbled over Angel Alba again in the bottom 8th. Aoki had drawn a 1-out walk and advanced on a Garmon groundout, and then Alba flopped a 2-out single over the head of Yocum and into left-center, at which point you didn’t have to ask Aoki twice to swing those paws and make for home. The Coons scored the game’s first run, and Walker finished the inning against the top of the order, after which Angel Alba returned to the hill on 93 pitches for the ninth inning, because who in their right mind would give that 1-0 game to Jon McGinley?? Ben Marmie grounded out to second in Walker’s spot. Yocum grounded out to short. And Maudlin sent another grounder to short, Aoki was on it, and this squeezer went the Raccoons’ way…! 1-0 Blighters! Aoki 0-1, 2 BB; Alba 9.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 7 K, W (3-4) and 2-3, RBI;

Alba! He was not only all the pitching, but he also was two thirds of the hitting aside from that Morales single in the first!

This was Angel’s second career shutout after a 2-hitter he threw against the damn Elks in June of ’62.

Game 3
DAL: SS Yocum – 2B Maudlin – CF Wharton – RF Ju. De Luna – 1B Fresco – LF C. Pritchett – 3B R. Vargas – C Bothe – P Peters
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – C Burkart – 1B Kozak – SS Aoki – CF Tallent – P Crowley

Dallas put right-hander Ian Peters (3-0, 3.61 ERA) into the rubber game, where Crowley walked Fresco in the second inning and then was immediately taken deep by Chad Pritchett for a quick 2-0 deficit. Tyler Wharton, who entered the series hitting .320 with five homers, had the day off on Monday and a very silent Tuesday, then socked a huge solo jack in the third inning to tack on another run for the Stars. Peters then lost both Tallent and Corral on balls in the bottom 3rd before giving up a 2-out run on a Morales single, but the Raccoons couldn’t connect for the big blow. Tallent hit a leadoff single his next time up in the bottom 5th, but was then very much ignored by the top of the order after getting bunted to second by Crowley and the Raccoons remained 3-1 down.

Crowley was done after six busy innings and 110 pitches, after which Cruz Madrid came into the seventh inning, faced five batters, gave up four hits and two runs, and then was quietly disposed of again as the bullpen despairs only deepened.

Peters took a 3-hitter into the bottom 8th before giving up leadoff singles to Corral and Spicer. Morales flew out easily, and Monck hit a comebacker for a double play to end the inning before the Raccoons could even qualify as an official threat. Peters kept going until he was knocked out in with one down in the bottom 9th when Aoki doubled home Burkart to shorten the score to 5-2. Novelo struck out and Arellano grounded out to end the inning. 5-2 Stars. Morales 2-4, RBI; Tallent 1-1, 2 BB;

(sigh!!)

Thursday was off and mostly spent weeping under a blanket, and then it was time to head to Loggerland.

Raccoons (14-21) @ Loggers (15-18) – May 15-17, 2065

The Loggers had lost five games in a row but had swept the Raccoons over three games the first time they encountered their lifeless husks this year, so this series could still go either way. In stats, Milwaukee was eighth in runs scored and ninth in runs allowed. Their pitching staff was rivalling the Coons’ in terms of futility, as they were in the bottom three in the CL in both starters’ and bullpen ERA. They were without regulars Cesar Ramirez and Jonathan Merrill, both on the DL with injuries.

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (0-0, 2.70 ERA) vs. Bobby Herrera (3-2, 2.92 ERA)
Josh Elling (4-2, 2.62 ERA) vs. TBD
Shoma Nakayama (1-5, 4.12 ERA) vs. Carlos Rodriguez (3-2, 2.88 ERA)

Those were two right-handers and a question mark where Nick Waldron (1-5, 8.17 ERA) would be, who had left his last starts with a forearm strain.

Game 1
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – C Burkart – 1B Kozak – SS Aoki – CF Garmon – P Walla
MIL: CF Franks – RF D. Wright – 2B F. Carrera – 1B D. Robles – LF C. Dominguez – C Guitreau – SS Reber – 3B V. Velez – P B. Herrera

Futility Friday saw the Raccoons fall behind 1-0 rather quickly in the bottom 1st on hits by Scott Franks and Dave Wright and not a lot else, while they themselves kept finding creative ways to strand runners. The highlight was probably the fifth inning when Walla singled and Corral walked with one out and the Spicer lined out to Dave Robles, who caught Corral too far off the bag and ended the inning with a 3-U double play. The score remained a tantalizingly close 1-0 through five innings, and Bruce Burkart hit a 2-out double to left in the sixth, but then Kozak struck out to further stink his batting average deeper under .200 …

Walla issued a walk and two singles in the bottom 6th, but the Loggers ran themselves out of the inning with Robles getting thrown out on an attempt to get first-to-third on Carlos Dominguez’ single. Eventually Dominguez and Tommy Guitreau were stranded when Kyle Reber popped out to short. Top 7th, and Garmon reached with one out on a shy single. Walla popped up the bunt attempt for the second out (after earlier bunting into a force at second base), but Tipsy Bobby then threw a wild pitch and gave up a game-tying double to Jose Corral, batting all of .171, with two outs. Spicer grounded out to second, keeping the game tied at one, at least until Walla in the bottom 7th walked Vic Velez and gave up a 2-out RBI double to the opposing rightfielder of his own to Dave Wright… Both Walla and Bobby H. would go eight innings, and Vincent Hernandez then retired the Coons’ 6-7-8 batters in order to finish out the game… 2-1 Loggers. Corral 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; Monck 2-4; Garmon 2-4; Walla 8.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 7 K, L (0-1) and 1-3;

Just three career starts and already a tough **** complete-game loss on the books for Nick Walla, who was probably born to be a Raccoons pitcher……

Game 2
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – C Burkart – 1B Vargas – SS Aoki – CF Garmon – P Elling
MIL: CF Franks – RF D. Wright – 2B F. Carrera – 1B D. Robles – C Guitreau – SS Reber – LF Reder – 3B V. Velez – P C. Rodriguez

Carlos Rodriguez was sent on short rest into the middle game, in which the Loggers again went up 1-0 in the first inning, this time on a Wright double, a balk, and a wild pitch, and all that out of Josh Elling, who had been the last guy left on that pitching staff that I didn’t have the urge to slam face first into the nearest wall every time I passed him in the clubhouse.

While Elling spent the next few innings reigning himself in, the Coons had little going between episodes of Spicer getting on base in the first and fourth innings, stealing second, and then things got complicated. Spicer was caught stealing third base in the first, but held off in the fourth and instead scored on a knock by Vic Morales to tie the game. Rich Monck did it one better, homering over the wall in left for a 3-1 Coons lead. I didn’t know we still had bats that could homer! I also didn’t know Bruce Burkart could steal bases, which he did in the same inning after signals got mixed up and he just took off, which took both teams by surprise. He remained on base, though. Elling then struck Dave Robles in the knee to get him out of the game, to be replaced by Matt Ruskin, who began a Loggers rally in the bottom 6th with a single to center. Elling then walked Guitreau, Kyle Reber singled, and a passed ball and Phil Reder’s groundout tied the game. Elling was purged after another walk to Velez, with Dover just about retiring PH Tyler Gilliam and Scott Franks while keeping the go-ahead runs on base.

Rodriguez also didn’t get through six, and Aiden Shaw was pitching in the seventh inning. Reber’s error put Spicer on base, but the Raccoons only got a greater advance with two outs as Monck and Burkart put together a pair of singles to get the youngster around to score the go-ahead run, 4-3. Vargas’ groundout stranded a pair, while Dover allowed a first-pitch single to Wright in the bottom 7th. McDaniel replaced him to **** up the game, as Fidel Carrera singled the tying run to third base, Ruskin hit a sac fly, and Tommy Guitreau then blew the doors open with a 2-run homer to left-center, 6-4.

The eighth inning was uneventful while the ninth looked just like it with Randy Birnbaum retiring Corral on a grounder and Spicer on a pop… and then he walked the bags full with the 3-4-5 batters. Hoping for a swipe, the Raccoons sent Kozak to bat for Vargas, and while the grand slam was not in the cards, Kozak singled up the middle – still under .200 though – to drive in the tying runs with the Coons down to their final out. Novelo batted for Aoki as left-hander Tony Espinosa replaced Birnbaum, but struck out to end the inning. Sansao Tyson drilled Carrera in the bottom 9th, but the Loggers otherwise made three outs and the game went to extras, where Chance Fox made his first pitching appearance in over a week when he was called on for long relief, retiring the Loggers in order in the tenth inning to get underway.

Espinosa was still pitching for the Loggers in the 11th, which began with a Spicer out before consecutive bad picks by J.P. Jack at first base and Carrera at second put Morales and Monck on base through errors. Burkart singled to center, but Morales was thrown out at the plate by Franks. Kozak also singled to center, but Monck didn’t even try to go for home from second base. Novelo then flew out to Wright to strand doubly-unearned piles of runners on base. That was the only scoring opportunity the Raccoons got in extra innings before Fox los the game with a Guitreau double and Reber RBI single in the bottom 12th… 7-6 Loggers. Morales 2-5, BB, 2B, RBI; Monck 3-5, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Burkart 3-5, BB, RBI; Kozak (PH) 2-2, 2 RBI;

(expressionless stare)

Game 3
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – 1B Vargas – C Arellano – CF Kozak – SS Novelo – P Nakayama
MIL: CF Franks – RF D. Wright – 2B F. Carrera – 1B D. Robles – LF C. Dominguez – C Guitreau – SS Reber – 3B V. Velez – P Waldron

The Raccoons struggled to stink up to more or less one-armed Nick Waldron for the first few innings before Novelo hit an infield single to begin the third inning and was bunted to second. Corral drove in the runner with a single for the game’s first run, Spicer doubled, and then Morales popped out and Monck grounded out to leave a fat juicy pair of runners in scoring position… Nakayama had yet to blow up, so the Raccoons’ trio of singles from Vargas, Kozak, and Novelo extended the lead to 2-0 in the fourth, although Corral whiffed after having the runners moved to scoring position, stranding them there. Carrera and Robles hits rung off Nakayama’s numb ears in the bottom 4th got the Loggers on the board for a run, 2-1.

Neither team got close to touching the other’s tosser for the next few innings, even though I was convinced if someone gave me a stick I could whack a double off Waldron. No such thing happened for the time being, but the Raccoons at least managed to put two singles together for a tack-on run in the top 8th when Morales got a hit, advanced on Monck’s groundout, and then was driven in with two outs by Alex Vargas. Arellano and Kozak added two more singles and another run, and now Waldron seemed empty and the Loggers had snoozed past the point to lift him. Waldron walked Novelo, then Nakayama with the bases loaded, and Corral slapped a 2-run double to finally knock him out of the game. Oliver Graham popped out Spicer to end the 5-run inning. That sounded like a big enough lead to bring in Cruz Madrid in the ninth inning, but for the second time this week he faced five batters and retired just one of them as Dominguez hit into a double play after a Carrera single and Robles walk. Another walk and an RBI single later, he was purged for Carrillo, who got the final out from Velez. 7-2 Coons. Corral 2-5, 2B, 3 RBI; Vargas 2-4, BB, RBI; Arellano 2-5; Kozak 2-4, RBI; Novelo 2-3, BB, RBI; Nakayama 8.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 9 K, W (2-5);

In other news

May 12 – Boston 1B Bill Joyner (.325, 5 HR, 27 RBI) connects for a 2-run homer against DEN SP Scott Evans (1-4, 8.04 ERA), which aids the Titans in winning the game, 5-4, and also amounts to his 2,000th career base hit. Joyner, who was a Gold Sock for most of his career, was a career .324 hitter with 176 homers and 939 RBI, and also brought two Platinum Sticks and four Gold gloves to the table.
May 14 – The season of LVA SP Matthew May (4-1, 2.61 ERA) ends with a torn flexor tendon in his elbow.
May 16 – TIJ SP Marco Clemente (2-3, 3.20 ERA) shows up for a 3-hit shutout to beat the Falcons, 8-0.
May 16 – DAL RF/LF Juan de Luna (.230, 5 HR, 18 RBI) breaks up a Gold Sox shutout in the ninth inning and ends the game with a walkoff grand slam off DEN CL Danny Nava (2-2, 4.80 ERA, 8 SV) as the Stars win 4-3.
May 17 – VAN OF/1B Chad Whetstine (.299, 4 HR, 16 RBI) is shut down for at least three weeks after suffering a concussion.
May 17 – The Crusaders beat the Titans, 1-0, on a single base hit, a leadoff triple for OF Bryant Box (.273, 3 HR, 13 RBI) right in the first inning. He scores for the game’s only run, too.

FL Player of the Week: LAP 3B/2B Ralph Lange (.347, 6 HR, 27 RBI), hitting .545 (12-22) with 2 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: BOS 1B Bill Joyner (.338, 6 HR, 30 RBI), bashing .500 (12-24) with 2 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

It doesn’t look like the pain is gonna end any time soon. If anyone wonders how the season is going, we’re now 1-5 against the Loggers.

The Loggers…!

I toy with the thought of releasing the entire bullpen and just start from scratch with random waiver claims. Because no waiver claim can be worse than $3M’s worth of Cruz Madrid retiring one in five ******* batters every time he puts pants on, and posting a 9.00 ERA in the middle of ******* May. And don’t even get me started on McGinley…

The road trip remains rough with stations in New York for four games, Tijuana, and Vegas. 124 games to play out the string.

Fun Fact: Elijah LaBat leads the CL in saves as a damn Elk.

Why exactly did we not keep LaBat around? He’s only 31! He looks like he’s not completely toast!?

My sources tell me we sent him to Denver with Noah Caswell and others for Jim White and Adam Middleton. Adam who??? And Jim White had two nice seasons in the Coons’ middle infield, but not *that* nice…!

******* depressing.

[Westheim]

2065 DRAFT POOL ANALYSIS

The draft was still almost a month away, but the Raccoons were already preparing to take in a good haul with their selections, which included the 19th pick in every mound, a supplemental round pick, and the eighth pick in the second round, the latter two parts of compensation for the loss of Tyler Riddle – and what could Tyler Riddle have done to fix the current roster mess?

The Raccoons put 132 players on the annual shortlist, and of those there was of course a dozen or so players on the annual hotlist for the most interesting young talent in the country (*high school player):

SP Brian Jones (14/13/13) * – BNN #2
SP Eric Stengel (13/12/13)
SP Eric Langan (13/12/12) – BNN #3
SP Jeremy King (12/12/9) * – BNN #5

CL Matt Guadagno (19/13/12)
CL Josh Carrington (17/13/11)

C Chris Willhite (9/14/17)

INF/CF/RF John Katzman (14/12/17)
SS/3B Phil Townsend (14/15/9) – BNN #6

OF Jake Ward (14/13/11) – BNN #1
LF/1B/RF Miguel Sandoval (10/15/8) * – BNN #7
OF Josh Phelps (10/14/12) – BNN #9
OF/SS Dan Moore (14/12/10)

Kind of surprised that John Katzman was not on the BNN list of top prospects. The right-handed better was also widely praised by OSA, and looked like a total monster in the #3 slot, hitting for average, power, and drawing lots of walks. He also had some speed, enough to steal 20 bags for sure, and while his defense was probably not enough to merit Gold Gloves galore, he wasn’t going to embarrass himself or his team in the field.

Of course, with the #19 pick you didn’t have to harbor major hopes to get that right-handed bat into your fold.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (15-23) @ Crusaders (24-14) – May 18-21, 2065

The Crusaders would host the Raccoons lusting for wins to break the tie with the Titans for first place in the North in their favor. They ranked second in runs scored and fourth in runs allowed, with a +44 run differential while the Raccoons were at -27 and s(t)inking. The Raccoons somehow had won 11 of 18 games from New York last year.

Projected matchups:
Angel Alba (3-4, 3.67 ERA) vs. Ben Seiter (4-2, 1.77 ERA)
Jeff Crowley (1-3, 5.49 ERA) vs. Erik Lee (1-3, 4.57 ERA)
Nick Walla (0-1, 2.45 ERA) vs. Josh Barcellona (2-4, 5.97 ERA)
Josh Elling (4-2, 2.88 ERA) vs. Jerry Washington (7-0, 3.06 ERA)

The Coons were up against nothing but right-handers in this series.

Game 1
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – C Burkart – 1B Kozak – CF Garmon – SS Aoki – P Alba
NYC: CF Box – SS O. Sanchez – 3B Dilly – RF Takeuchi – 2B Cline – LF Thore – C M. Nieto – 1B Jo. Alvarez – P Seiter

Angel Alba allowed walks to Bryant Box and Omar Sanchez in the bottom 1st and the Crusaders were off to the races from there, doing a double steal and scoring on a Kazuhide Takeuchi groundout and Jake Cline’s single past Victor Morales. The Crusaders kept hitting and running, getting Jose Alvarez on base in the bottom 2nd. He, too, stole second base and scored with help from the top of the order to make it 3-0 already. Alvarez jumped the score further to 5-0 in the fourth inning with a homer to right after Marco Nieto had already doubled to left.

The horrendous Raccoons had nothing going – one hit in four innings – before Bruce Burkart got ejected for sneering at a call that in his opinion Seiter got and Alba wasn’t getting. The ump had none of it, and the Raccoons were on their last catcher after an ejection to their primary. That still didn’t score them a run, although Spicer and Morales would pool two singles and a wild pitch together to twiddle out a run in the sixth inning. Tyson and Carrillo split the required innings after Alba was removed just five frames in, walked four between them and somehow didn’t give up a run, while the Crusaders removed Seiter after eight innings and brought in Curt Rosato, who saw Morales reach on an error by Omar Sanchez, and then allowed a single to Monck. Kody Mello was brought in as this constituted a save opportunity now, but gave up an RBI double to Arellano. Kozak was the tying run, but only produced an RBI groundout, and Vargas whiffed batting for the pitcher in the #7 hole. Yukio Aoki’s foul pop to Steve Dilly ended the game. 5-3 Crusaders. Morales 2-4, RBI;

Game 2
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – C Burkart – 1B Kozak – CF Garmon – SS Aoki – P Crowley
NYC: CF Box – SS O. Sanchez – 3B Dilly – RF Takeuchi – 2B Cline – LF Thore – C D. Cruz – 1B Jo. Alvarez – P E. Lee

It didn’t get any ******* better on Tuesday, when the Raccoons didn’t really take place on offense beyond a first inning in which Spicer and Morales singled, but Spicer also was caught stealing right away and things went absolutely nowhere. Crowley offered a walk in each of the first three innings, although the Crusaders never got somebody around to score, but then in the fourth inning Dilly hit a solo homer to begin the inning, and David Cruz hit a 2-run jack with two down to jump the score to 3-0 right away. For the 26-year-old Cruz, that was the first homer of his career.

The Crusaders would chew through Crowley for good in the sixth inning when they got straight hits from their 5-6-7-8 hitters to spit Crowley out on the other side of the box score, scoring two more runs for a 5-0 lead in the process. McDaniel had to dig Crowley out from there, Dover pitched a scoreless seventh, and Novelo then was brought in to pitch garbage relief once again in a game in which the Raccoons were so out of everything that even at “just” 5-0 it didn’t matter anymore. Nevertheless, Novelo pitched a scoreless eighth. Burkart 2-4; Serrano (PH) 1-1;

It's … it’s not getting better.

(climbs into nearest garbage can and closes the lid over his head)

(sobbing noises from inside the garbage can)

Vic Morales was not in the lineup on Wednesday because he was lying very silently in his darkened hotel room with a migraine attack. He was listed as day-to-day.

Game 3
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – SS Serrano – CF Garmon – 3B Tallent – P Walla
NYC: CF Box – C M. Nieto – 3B Dilly – RF Takeuchi – 2B Cline – LF Thore – SS Jim White – 1B Jo. Alvarez – P Barcellona

Another low-scoring affair on Wednesday, but – lo and behold! – the Raccoons not only scored, but also scored first, when Jack Kozak hit a solo homer in the second inning! Would wonders ever cease?? (picks banana and orange peels out of his fur) On the other side of the box score, Nick Walla pitched reasonably well until he gave up a triple into the right-center gap to Jose Alvarez in the bottom 5th and then couldn’t get a strikeout on Barcellona, who grounded out but scored the tying run with the second out of the inning. The Coons got the lead back in their next half-inning when Spicer singled with two outs, which marked his third time on base in this game. He had already been caught stealing once (and had made it to second once), but this time Takeuchi overran his ball for a free pass to second base on an error, and from there Burkart singled him home for a 2-1 lead. Monck grounded out to short, and the Crusaders had a pair of singles as well, but left their runners Dilly and Coby Thore on the corners against Walla in the sixth. Walla went on into the seventh, where Barcellona hit a 1-out single, and then gave up back-to-back RBI doubles to Nieto and Dilly to find himself a hole to curl up in and take the loss. He was replaced with Tyson to get out of the inning, while Barcellona pitched into the eighth, but left the game after a consultation with the team trainer before he could retire the Raccoons in order. McGinley had a scoreless bottom 8th in what we figured were the last pitching outs of the game for the Raccoons, but we underestimated Rich Monck, who followed Burkart’s leadoff single in the top 9th and struck a score-flipping homer to center. McDaniel then got the ball for the bottom 9th and managed to get three outs without blowing the skinny lead…! 4-3 Raccoons. Vargas (PH) 1-1; Spicer 3-4;

Vic Morales was back at the ballpark on Thursday, but remained in the clubhouse wearing sunglasses and getting a massage. He would be available in a pinch. He might even be able to see the ball coming.

Game 4
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – CF Kozak – 2B Monck – 1B Vargas – 3B Novelo – C Arellano – SS Aoki – P Elling
NYC: CF Box – C M. Nieto – 3B Dilly – 2B Cline – LF Thore – SS Jim White – RF A. Romero – 1B Jose Alvarez – P Je. Washington

Corral and Spicer led off with a double and single on Thursday, but were left on the corners by the 3-4-5 batters, who struck out, lined out, and grounded out, in order. Instead Elling got beaten around for three hits, a walk, and two runs in the bottom 1st. Jose Alvarez brought in the first run with a groundout in a bases-loaded situation, but the 2-out RBI single by Jerry Washington was the one that really hurt.

The game then trundled along into the sixth without either team doing a whole lot. Top 6th then, and Kozak and Monck began the inning with a pair of singles before collective diarrhea threatened to set in again and Vargas hit into a fielder’s choice and Novelo lined out softly to short. Arellano was drilled before he could do something stupid, and Aoki came up batting with the bags full and two outs, and hit a 3-2 pitch up the middle where it got through between the veterans Jim White and Jake Cline for a game-tying 2-run single. Elling flew out to left to leave runners on the corners after that, then wasted no time getting beaten up for the loss. He hit Thore with a 1-2 pitch to begin the bottom 6th, then gave up hard hits to White and Alex Romero, the latter doubling home two runs and scoring on a Box single with two outs.

New York added an unearned run on an Arellano throwing error in the bottom 7th, but that was after Cruz Madrid, the useless prick, had already failed two runners on base. The Coons wouldn’t score in the eighth, when Novelo hit a 1-out triple, and otherwise went down with as little noise and kicked up dust as possible. 6-2 Crusaders. Spicer 2-5; Kozak 2-4; Novelo 2-4, 3B; Aoki 2-4, 2 RBI;

How much longer will Jose Corral stink up the leadoff spot batting .181/.225/.352? Probably not much longer, although that .214 BABIP is screaming out about injustice. He hit for a .293/.373/.461 slash last year, if you might want to remember.

Raccoons (16-26) @ Condors (24-18) – May 22-24, 2065

The Raccoons ached into Tijuana for three games with the Condors, who were leading the South with the CL’s #2 offense and average pitching. While they were down a few pitchers (Brett Bebout, Vince Ellison) and John Kaniewski was also day-to-day, I wasn’t expecting anything but more beatings. The Coons had won the season series last year, with the last three seasons having seen the teams alternate 5-4 series wins.

Projected matchups:
Shoma Nakayama (2-5, 3.66 ERA) vs. Marco Clemente (2-3, 3.20 ERA)
Angel Alba (3-5, 4.17 ERA) vs. Ryan Singletary (2-2, 2.96 ERA)
Chance Fox (1-4, 5.52 ERA) vs. Jose Lugo (4-0, 1.87 ERA)

No southpaws this week! Also still no Vic Morales on Friday although he was by now back in the dugout.

Game 1
POR: RF Corral – LF Spicer – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Vargas – 3B Novelo – SS Serrano – CF Tallent – P Nakayama
TIJ: 2B W. Acosta – LF McInnis – C Brann – 1B Metz – RF Ewig – 3B D. Miller – CF Arcos – SS Veguilla – P M. Clemente

Burkart narrowly missed a homer in the first inning on Friday, and instead settled for a double off the top of the wall and getting stranded at second base. Nakayama put the leadoff man on in the first with his own error, dropping a feed by Vargas at first base, and in the second with a leadoff walk to Matt Ewig, but worked around both of those and then hit a soft single following Randy Tallent’s leadoff double in the top 3rd. Corral hit a sac fly to put the game’s first run on the board, but Nakayama was left on base as Spicer and Burkart ended the inning with groundouts.

Bottom 3rd, and another leadoff man on for Tijuana as Willie Acosta singled. McInnis grounded, Monck dropped Mike Brann’s pop to put them on the corners, and while Andy Metz lined out sharply to Serrano for a key second out, Nakayama then ****** up RBI knocks to Ewig and Danny Miller to fall 3-1 behind. Roberto Arcos flew out to Corral, who hit the ground hard on a headlong dive and came up hurting. He left the game, with Corey Garmon taking over rightfield duties.

Over the next three innings, the Coons left seven runners on base, scoring only once when Burkart singled home Garmon in the seventh after Garmon and Spicer singles had dissipated on Burkart’s groundout in the fifth and the 6-7-8 had loaded the bases in unearned fashion in the sixth before Nakayama grounded out. Vargas drew a walk after the Burkart RBI single in the seventh, but Novelo grounded out to leave the pair stranded. Instead, after seven ho-hum innings of Nakayama, useless Juan Carrillo fudged another two runs on the board with straight hits allowed to Miller, Roberto Arcos, and Miguel Veguilla, who doubled home the two insurance runs with a shot through Novelo at the hot corner. The Coons then suffered the additional indignity of being closed out by Takenori Tanizaki, the former Critter… 5-2 Condors. Garmon 2-3; Burkart 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI;

So Morales was back in the lineup on Saturday, but now Jose Corral was dead man walking on the roster as we continued to work with a short bench.

Additionally, Rich Monck had a day off even with a day off on schedule lurking on Monday.

Game 2
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – LF Kozak – 1B Vargas – 2B Serrano – CF Garmon – SS Aoki – P Alba
TIJ: 2B W. Acosta – LF McInnis – C Brann – 1B Metz – RF Ewig – 3B D. Miller – CF Arcos – SS Veguilla – P M. Singletary

Morales returned with a 1-out single in the first inning before Singletary single-handedly walked the bags full with Burkart and Kozak, still couldn’t find the zone against Vargas and walked the game’s first run in, and then the dumb ***** in the 6-7 spots poked and popped out and grounded out in four total pitches. Alba IMMEDIATELY ****** the 1-0 lead all to hell then with a free pass to Willie Acosta, who easily scored on Matt McInnis’ double, and Andy Metz singled the go-ahead run home for the Condors just one out later. Alba kept being the absolute worst with another leadoff walk to Roberto Arcos in the bottom 2nd and Veguilla singled. Singletary grounded out to move them over before Acosta struck a 2-run double and McInnis one-upped him with a 2-run homer, 6-1.

Ironically, Singletary would be out of the game first; in the third inning he gave up a 2-run double to Garmon, plating Burkart and Serrano with two outs, and then nicked Spicer on base in the fourth before giving up hits to Morales and Burkart, and at that point, up 6-4, he was yanked. Aaron Sloan gave up an RBI double to Kozak, which made it 6-5 with the tying and go-ahead runs in scoring position, then struck out Vargas, but fell over Serrano and his 2-run single to center, which made it 7-6 Coons before Garmon grounded out. Alba technically pitched longer, but was also yanked with a lead in the fourth, getting two outs before ******* Acosta on base with another walk and giving up a single to McInnis. Dover and Tallent entered in a double switch that ended Garmon’s night early. Dover walked Brann to fill the bases, but struck out Metz to get out of the bloody inning. He then got three straight outs in the fifth.

Sloan was still going in the sixth, putting Morales and Burkart on base before getting Kozak on strikes. Vargas singled in a run, though, 8-6, and Serrano struck out before Monck batted for Dover and flew out to left. He then remained in the game in place of Serrano, batting an odd seventh. The Condors then lost Willie Acosta an inning later as he was hit in the thumb on an odd bounce a Morales grounder was taking as Acosta tried to bare-hand it, forcing him out of the game in favor of Danny Guzman, decidedly not a middle infielder.

Meanwhile the lead survived two innings of Sansao Tyson and an eighth-inning appearance by Cruz Madrid, setting up Jon McGinley for the ninth, where he immediately allowed a leadoff single on a 3-1 pitch to Veguilla before walking John Kaniewski outright on four pitches. Guzman, batting first, lined out to Novelo at short, and McInnis and Brann surprisingly struck out to leave the tying runs on the corners. 8-6 Critters. Morales 2-5, 2B; Burkart 1-2, 3 BB, RBI; Serrano 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Tyson 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Sunday, still no news on Corral, and for the fifth game in a row, the Raccoons were four paws short.

Game 3
POR: RF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – LF Kozak – 1B Vargas – CF Garmon – SS Novelo – P Fox
TIJ: 2B D. Guzman – 1B L. Jimenez – LF Kaniewski – 3B D. Miller – CF Arcos – C Eaton – RF Frasher – SS Veguilla – P J. Lugo

The Coons tried their luck with Chance Fox again, who had last started 20 days ago and had pitched only once in between, which didn’t mean he hadn’t been able to cash another loss. Fox did put up three zeroes to begin the game and hold it scoreless, although that didn’t say a lot about the long flies hit by the Condors (all caught) and the two singles they did it, of which one – Miller’s – ended up with the batter-runner being thrown out at second base by Spicer. The first tally on the board came from the Portlanders, who strung together straight 1-out singles from their 3-4-5 batters (what a rare sight these days!) for Kozak to drive in Burkart for a 1-0 lead in the fourth. Vargas hit another RBI single to right, but then was foolishly picked off first base and Garmon struck out to leave Kozak on third base in a 2-0 game. That became 2-1 in the bottom 4th with a Leonardo Jimenez leadoff double to left and Arcos’ 2-out RBI single, but the Coons got more singles from Novelo, Spicer, and Morales to extend the lead to 3-1 in the top 5th. Burkart flew out to right and Monck grounded out to second to leave a pair stranded. Kozak, Garmon, and Novelo piled up more singles for a run in the sixth, 4-1, before Fox whiffed and Spicer lined out to a hustling Kaniewski to leave another pair on the table.

At that point you were just waiting for the Condors to put together ONE inning and be done with it, which promptly threatened to happen in the bottom 6th. Jimenez got on and Miller homered, 4-3, and then Fox ****** the bags full with gross ineptitude, a hit batter and two walks. Dover came in to replace him, and got not one, but two comebackers from the Condors’ 8-9 batters for a force at home and then the third out at first base, keeping the Raccoons narrowly afloat.

The Coons began the top 7th with more singles from the 2-3 batters before Monck made a bid for the fence, but made an out, moving Morales to third base, but no greater gains, except that Kozak then managed to get him home with a sac fly to center, 5-3. Nick Leigh allowed another single to Vargas, walked Garmon, and then got Novelo to ground out and strand another dumpster full of runners.

Dover pitched three more outs before Serrano batted for him to begin the eighth, with Leigh giving up three straight singles to load the bases to Serrano and the 1-2 batters. Burkart singled over a jumping Veguilla into center, where Arcos overran the ball for an error, allowing two runs to score rather than one, and Monck was walked intentionally. Dan Beare struck out Kozak, then walked in a run against Vargas. Garmon hit a sac fly to Eric Frasher, and Aoki batted for Novelo and singled home Monck from second base with two outs. Serrano came around to bat again and slapped an RBI double up the leftfield line before the inning ended with Spicer’s groundout to first base; the Coons had broken out for six runs and had an 11-3 lead.

The Coons still poured out singles in the ninth inning. Morales and Burkart got leadoff hits, Kozak reached on an error by Guzman, and then Dan Beare found it necessary to strike Alex Vargas in the paw. Vargas ran to the dugout immediately, saving Luis Silva a trip, and didn’t reappear; Randy Tallent was the last guy off the bench to pinch-run for him and manned first base in the final half-inning – after Garmon drove in another run with another single. It was surely entirely coincidental that Carrillo drilled Guzman with two outs in the bottom 9th. 13-3 Furballs. Spicer 2-6; Morales 4-6, RBI; Burkart 4-6, 2 RBI; Monck 2-4, BB, 2B; Kozak 2-5, 2 RBI; Vargas 2-3, BB, 3 RBI; Garmon 2-4, BB, 2 RBI; Novelo 2-4, RBI; Aoki (PH) 1-2, RBI; Serrano (PH) 2-3, 2B, RBI; Dover 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

In other news

May 20 – CIN RF/LF Roberto Soto (.326, 7 HR, 23 RBI) is expected to miss one month with a strained hamstring.
May 21 – The Falcons beat the Bayhawks in a 6-5 game that takes 14 innings to complete.
May 22 – IND SP Keith Thompson (2-3, 2.54 ERA) throws a 2-hit shutout to beat the Aces, 5-0.
May 22 – Capitals SP Jon Reyes (3-2, 4.24 ERA) will be shut down for a month to try and rehab a forearm strain.
May 22 – The Wolves get 1B Kevin Huffman (.236, 5 HR, 17 RBI) from the Capitals in exchange for outfielder Ivan Anaya (.273, 1 HR, 4 RBI).

FL Player of the Week: DAL CF Tyler Wharton (.337, 9 HR, 31 RBI), hitting .414 (12-29) with 3 HR, 11 RBI
CL Player of the Week: POR C Bruce Burkart (.341, 1 HR, 16 RBI), batting .476 (10-21) with 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Bruce Burkart turned his week around nicely enough after initially getting ejected from an 0-2, 2 K game on Monday. He then hit over .500 the rest of the way for Player of the Week honors.

So the Raccoons posted another losing week, and that’s before you get into all the injuries. Morales overcame the headaches (but we have yet to overcome all the headaches in the bullpen), but we are still awaiting news on Jose Corral, who left the game on Friday after colliding soundly with the ground, and I am not getting any good vibes from Luis Silva with Alex Vargas’ paw, which is probably definitely broken and he’ll be on the DL until the All Star Game. So Kozak will probably be more at first base again with Starr nowhere near returning, and we have to dig yet deeper into the outfield charts.

Depending on what’s with Corral now, we might get another debutant up soon, as 25-year-old former first-rounder John Bentley, playing the corner outfield and first, batting lefty, and hitting .276 with four homers in AAA might be close to the next guy up. Him or more of Colter. It was already the fourth season that Bentley spent at least partially in AAA, and there was no reason to expect him to *actually* hit any time soon.

Chance Fox was far from great on Sunday, but I feel like giving him another start on the coming weekend while trying Crowley in garbage relief. They’re ALL garbage, but we need to get order into who is gonna be garbage in the first three innings, and who’s gonna be garbage in the second three innings.

The Coons will have Monday off and then play three game in Vegas on the way home, although we’re only there for the weekend to host the Knights, and then have to go cross country right away again.

Fun Fact: Alex Vargas will disappear to the DL with the second-best OPS on the team.

He’s of course not qualifying, but he wasn’t that far away from qualifying and had a 121 OPS+ going. He’s gone from a second-round pick to a Rule 5 pick to making just seven appearances off the bench for the Wolves before being sent back unceremoniously, and then being stuck in AAA for two more seasons before the Joel Starr injury allowed him an opening…

…and then Dan Beare was being a **** in a 12-3 game. Sigh.

[Westheim]

The Raccoons used their day off on Monday to gamble away all the loose change in Vegas and one outfielder or another might have been spotted at a … (cough) … “variety show”, but I was busy with roster movements, as both Alex Vargas (broken paw) and Jose Corral (overextended / sore shoulder) were moved to the DL. Vargas was out until the All Star Game, but Corral might return at the end of June. The Coons brought up, as threatened, Jamie Colter and John Bentley. Jack Kozak was now probably taking most turns at first base, with backup from Tallent, although the two new arrivals could also hold down that particular corner.

Raccoons (18-27) @ Aces (23-21) – May 26-28, 2065

While all the Aces injuries were to starting pitchers (Adam Edge, Matthew May), they still had the second-best rotation in the league, which was only partially undone by a mediocre pen and trying to out-hurl the league’s #8 offense. They had a +17 run differential (Coons: -28). The Aces had beaten the Coons six out of nine games last year.

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (0-1, 2.95 ERA) vs. Tim Henderson (4-2, 2.70 ERA)
Josh Elling (4-3, 3.38 ERA) vs. Dan Graham (2-2, 2.81 ERA)
Shoma Nakayama (2-6, 3.22 ERA) vs. Justin Reif (1-2, 6.85 ERA)

Graham was one southpaw, and if the Aces wanted to employ their day off on Monday to get rid of Reif, they could skip another southpaw, Gabe Molina (2-3, 2.79 ERA) into the series.

Game 1
POR: LF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – CF Garmon – RF Colter – SS Aoki – P Walla
LVA: LF Lorenzo – 2B M. Roberts – CF Jad. Wilson – C A. Gomez – 3B A. Alfaro – RF D. Lewis – SS C. Pena – 1B M. Reed – P T. Henderson

Watching Walla pitch was like trying to pick little bits of glitter out of your fur. The leadoff man was constantly on base for the Aces, who got Victor Lorenzo on base with a leadoff double in the first and a leadoff triple in the third innings; he scored both times, once stealing third base, and then waiting until Walla had walked the bags full to get scored by Alex Alfaro on a sac fly. Rich Monck would erase the 2-0 deficit with a 2-run homer to left, cashing Burkart, in the fourth inning with what was only the Coons’ second base hit in the game. Surprisingly, that homer shut up the Aces for the middle innings, in which they had only two runners, none of them leading off, and Mike Roberts got himself caught stealing in the fifth inning to clean himself up.

Walla held up through seven after the rough start, and was still hoping for his first W this year (he had won his only start in ’64, so he was 1-1 for his career), but the Raccoons were still stuck on three hits through seven innings against Tim Henderson, who was going back out for the eighth inning. Aoki hit a leadoff single in the eighth, but the Raccoons couldn’t get the go-ahead run off first base. McDaniel and Carrillo then derailed between them with a leadoff walk to Jaden Wilson by the former and an RBI double served up to Alex Alfaro by the latter, allowing the Aces to take a 3-2 lead in the bottom 8th and bring in their closer, Ryan Sullivan, another ex-Coon. Monck flew out to left to start the ninth, but Kozak slapped a triple over the head of Jaden Wilson to put the tying run at third base with one down. Arellano batted for Garmon, but walked, however, Colter’s grounder wasn’t good/bad enough for two and the Raccoons gained the tying run for only an out at first base. Aoki struck out, and Tyson sent the game to extras with a 1-2-3 bottom 9th.

Bentley made his ABL debut as pinch-hitter for Tyson in the tenth inning, but struck out, and the game continued into the 12th inning when the Raccoons got a leadoff single from Colter before Aoki grounded out. Novelo was the last guy off the bench, doubling over the head of Eric Cirelli at third base to get the go-ahead run across against Steve Hawkins. Spicer grounded out, Morales was walked intentionally, and Burkart struck out to complete a golden sombrero and leaving Novelo stranded. The Coons then sent McGinley into the bottom 12th. He got two outs before Lorenzo slapped a double to center, but that brought up the #2 hole and … the pitcher Hawkins! Hah, that was gonna be easy! They were out of pinch-hitters, too! Hawkins’ RBI single then extended the game into the 13th inning, where the Raccoons didn’t score and McGinley again got two outs before not getting anybody out anymore. Don Lewis singled, the bags were filled with walks, and then Daniel Medford walked off the Aces with a single through the left side. 5-4 Aces. Kozak 3-6; Novelo (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; Walla 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 7 K;

Interlude: Trade

Jon McGinley (1-2, 6.88 ERA, 8 SV), who arrived as a pretty successful 4-year closer for the Warriors, and who had another $7M and small change on a contract running through 2067, and who refused a minor league assignment, was then offloaded on the damn Elks overnight.

The Elks were the only team that was willing to offer anything on the shopping line, and that anything was another left-hander, Jeremy Garvey (2-0, 3.71 ERA), who was gonna double his ERA in Portland without a doubt, but at least the 32-year-old was only 10% as expensive and would do everybody a favor and shove off at the end of the year.

And that wasn’t gonna be the last dumpster move at this rate.

YOU HEAR THAT?? YOU’RE ALL GONNA GET SENT TO THE ******* FROZEN TUNDRA!!!

Raccoons (18-27) @ Aces (23-21) – May 26-28, 2065

Game 2
POR: LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 1B Kozak – 2B Monck – C Arellano – SS Serrano – CF Garmon – RF Tallent – P Elling
LVA: LF Lorenzo – SS Leggett – CF Jad. Wilson – C A. Gomez – 3B A. Alfaro – RF D. Lewis – 2B M. Roberts – 1B M. Reed – P D. Graham

A 2-out, 2-run double by Randy Tallent in the second inning not only marked the first runs in this middle game of the series, but also Tallent’s first RBI’s on the season. He drove in Arellano and Serrano. It was also good for ******* nothing as the Aces batted through the lineup against Elling in the bottom 2nd and ****** up the Raccoons’ only useful starter for five runs. The first five batters reached unimpeded whatsoever, and Mike Roberts got one RBI, while Mark Reed and Wally Leggett got two each with base knocks. Elling had another crap inning in the bottom 3rd, the Aces just didn’t score any more, and then put Reed and Graham on base to begin the fourth and was removed from my sight. Crowley entered the game in garbage relief, and to anybody’s surprise managed to keep the runners stranded. Crowley would pitch three scoreless innings before getting whacked for three quick runs in his fourth frame of failing in bright floodlights. The Aces then dumped another two runs on McDaniel in the eighth before Jesse Dover had to get the last out. The Raccoons never touched third base after the second inning. 10-2 Aces. Arellano 2-4; Tallent 2-3, 2B, 2 RBI;

(face firmly buried in the depths of the paws)

Game 3
POR: LF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – CF Garmon – SS Aoki – RF Bentley – P Nakayama
LVA: LF Lorenzo – 2B M. Roberts – C Jad. Wilson – C A. Gomez – 3B A. Alfaro – SS Medford – RF Marazzo – 1B M. Reed – P Reif

Spicer tripled to begin the series finale and scored … on a passed ball charged to Alex Gomez. Nothing the Raccoons did in the inning would have qualified to get him across to score, although Monck then also reached on a throwing error by Medford… and was left stranded. A 1-0 lead was always fleeting with this bunch of tossers, and Nakayama was immediately behind everybody and their grandmother in the bottom 1st, walking Lorenzo, who was doubled up on a 3-1 grounder by Roberts, then allowed singles on 2-0 pitches to Wilson and Gomez, but Alfaro grounded out (sharply). His next innings were a bit less awful, and the Raccoons were still up 1-0 in the fourth when Reif walked Aoki with one out and then got bombed by John Bentley, who made his first lineup appearance in the major leagues and immediately thumped a 2-run homer!

The 3-0 lead was then immediately ****** to bits in the bottom 4th as Gomez, Alfaro, and Medford opened the inning with straight singles, Medford driving in the Las Vegans’ first run, while Morales fudged Nate Marazzo’s grounder for a run-scoring error, and Mark Reed’s RBI single tied the game at three. Reif bunted the two remaining runners into scoring position, and Vic Lorenzo singled home the pair of them to put Nakayama in a rage-inducing 5-3 hole. Marazzo tripled in two more runs the inning after against Nakayama, who was disposed of between innings.

Reif and his near-7 ERA meanwhile were good enough for seven-plus innings of 5-hit ball against the Critters, Rich Monck putting him to bed with a leadoff single in the eighth in the 7-3 game. Zane Fenlon replaced Reif, struck out Kozak, and got a double play grounder from Garmon to clean up behind his starter. Aoki homered off David Gaither to begin the ninth, forcing an appearance by Sullivan, who gave up a double to right to Bentley, but then retired Novelo, Spicer, and Morales in order to shut the Raccoons down. 7-4 Aces. Aoki 2-2, 2 BB, HR, RBI; Bentley 2-4, HR, 2B, 2 RBI;

Raccoons (18-30) vs. Knights (19-24) – May 29-31, 2065

The Raccoons arrived home to find a similarly incompetent team, as the last-place Knights brought the second-worst offense and second-worst pitching, with a -50 run differential, to Portland, although the Raccoons were sucking their way down to that again now. The Knights had the worst starters’ ERA, but were competitive in the pen. They had earlier won two of three games from the Coons, but who hadn’t?

Projected matchups:
Angel Alba (3-5, 4.84 ERA) vs. Kodai Koga (1-7, 6.88 ERA)
Chance Fox (2-4, 5.45 ERA) vs. Josh Doyle (2-2, 3.46 ERA)
Nick Walla (0-1, 2.86 ERA) vs. Andres Lopez (4-3, 4.22 ERA)

The 41-year-old Kodai Koga wasn’t doing so well at this point of the season, although Duarte Damasceno (1-4, 6.75 ERA) was right up there in performance. Lopez promised a Southpaw Sunday.

Game 1
ATL: SS Kilday – RF J. Evans – 1B Savalli – 2B Nye – C McLaren – LF K. Hummel – 3B Labonte – CF Fumero – P Koga
POR: LF Spicer – 3B V. Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – SS Aoki – RF Bentley – CF Garmon – P Alba

Once he took Angel Alba deep for a 2-piece in the third inning, Jake Evans sat at 14 homers and 26 RBI for the season, all while batting .242. The Knights would add a run when ex-Coon Paul Labonte tripled home ex-Coon Nick Nye in the fourth, 3-0, and I wasn’t quite sure how it could get much more depressing from here. That was however before Alba walked Koga to lead off the fifth and then Evans to boot, although the Knights would not get a run across from the free passes. Alba would pitch six cruddy innings on 107 pitches, which hardly qualified as success or “quality”, but still beat the offense’s output, which was pretty close to zilch through six innings.

Garvey got the ball for the second time in a brown hat and for the first time got whacked around, giving up a double to Evans and a 2-run homer to Justin Savalli in the seventh, 5-0, although hits by Garmon and Spicer pieced a run together for the Critters in the bottom of the same inning, breaking up the threat of getting shutout by an ancient hurler with an ERA near seven. That didn’t mean the Knights wouldn’t send him out into the ninth inning to bid for a complete game, but he put Serrano on base with a leadoff walk and then gave up a 1-out single to Vic Morales, which made the Knights made the switch to Erik Swain, who got a pop on the infield from Burkart, and a soft grounder to short from Monck – too short in fact, and Matt Kilday didn’t get in to play the ball in time before Monck legged out an infield single and drove in Serrano from third base. But fans of 41-year-old Japanese pitchers could rest easy, for Kozak ended the game with a groundout. 5-2 Knights. Spicer 2-5, RBI; Morales 3-5; Monck 2-5, RBI;

(lies facedown in the pillows again)

Game 2
ATL: CF Fumero – 2B Nye – RF J. Evans – SS C. Ramsey – LF K. Hummel – C Hart – 3B Kilday – 1B V.D. Morales – P Doyle
POR: LF Spicer – 3B V. Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – SS Aoki – RF Bentley – CF Colter – P Fox

Inside eight pitches Fox gave up a double to Carlos Fumero and a homer to Casey Ramsey in the first inning, although the Raccoons made up the deficit on all singles by Spicer, Burkart, Monck, and Kozak, the latter two getting the two RBI’s. Aoki popped out before Bentley filled the bases with another single, and Doyle lost Colter on a 3-2 pitch and two outs, forcing in the go-ahead run. Fox struck out, gave up a leadoff single to Justin Hart in the second, but got first a force from Kilday, then a 5-4-3 grounder as Victor Morales hit a grounder to Victor Morales, which was certainly confusing for the casual viewer.

It was all fun and games until here, but Fox then started the third inning with a walk to Doyle (…), then was beaten senseless with another four hits or walks before drilling consecutive batters in Ken Hummel and Hart, and then was finally beaten out of the game when Kilday doubled home two more runs. At that point it was 8-3 Knights, and there were no outs in the ******* inning. Carrillo waved home his remaining runners, beginning his replacement outing by walking Morales, which meant the entire Knights lineup reached base without a retirement, and Fox gave up TEN runs in two-plus-******** innings.

Doyle also pitched only six outs, getting betrayed by Nick Nye, who made an error on a double play grounder by Aoki after Kozak had drawn a leadoff walk in the bottom 3rd. He then hung one that Bentley brawled for a 3-run homer, 10-6. Kozak would hit a solo homer later in the sixth inning, while the Raccoons were scratching it together to somehow get through the game on the pitching side. Crowley was run out again for two scoreless innings, while Novelo was also thrown in for TWO innings, giving up a pair of runs in the sixth. The eighth went to Sansao Tyson, who walked a pair to get going, and then got brutally massacred for six hits and six runs before being shoved into the woodchipper for Madrid, who somehow collected the last four outs required to tell everybody to go the **** home without getting yelled at by League HQ. 18-7 Knights. Spicer 2-4; Burkart 2-5; Kozak 3-4, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Bentley 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Colter 2-3, BB, RBI; Crowley 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

The Raccoons optioned Isaac McDaniel (1-0, 5.51 ERA, 1 SV) to the Alley Cats after this game, but failed to get rid of Chance Fox to clear lint off the roster. John Nesbitt was recalled from St. Pete for no good reason.

The Knights meanwhile traded infielder Paul Labonte (.208, 0 HR, 12 RBI) to the Wolves, along with a prospect, for left-handed starter Ben Peterson (3-4, 4.09 ERA).

Game 3
ATL: SS Kilday – RF J. Evans – 1B Savalli – 2B Nye – C McLaren – CF Fumero – LF V.D. Morales – P An. Lopez – 3B Baxley
POR: 3B V. Morales – SS Serrano – 1B Kozak – 2B Monck – C Arellano – LF Garmon – RF Colter – CF Tallent – P Walla

Kilday singled, Savalli homered, and then Walla still walked a pair in a first inning, while I tried to convince Maud to let me stick my head in the oven, her muffins be damned. The Knights loaded the bases without the benefit of a base hit in the second inning, as the pitcher Andres Lopez, batting EIGHTH to REALLY RUB IT IN, reached on a Monck error, Kilday walked, and Jake Evans got bruised by Walla, who then struck out Savalli and Nye to leave the bases loaded, and was over 50 pitches after just two ******* awful innings. Lopez meanwhile nailed consecutive batters, Colter and Tallent, with two outs in the bottom 2nd, as if that would get the Raccoons anywhere. It didn’t; Walla flew out to left.

The Coons were mostly hopeless, even though Kozak singled home a token run in the bottom 5th after confused 2-out walks Lopez offered to Morales and Serrano. Monck grounded out, ending that inning. In any case, Walla failed the run right back on the board in his sixth and final innings, giving up a leadoff double to John Baxley, who scored on two productive outs. Dover replaced Walla in the seventh inning and laid another clutch of eggs, five singles for two runs before Cruz Madrid replaced him and Evans hacked himself out to leave the bases loaded. Nesbitt and Garvey collected the remaining outs, while the offense trundled to its own destruction, amounting to just three total base hits in the game. 5-1 Knights. Serrano 1-2, 2 BB; Kozak 2-4, RBI;

In other news

May 26 – The Pacifics score 11 runs in the fifth inning on the way to beating the Cyclones, 15-3. LAP SP Cory Ritter (3-4, 3.88 ERA) drives in five runs himself with a pair of doubles to his name.
May 28 – Pacifics closer Roberto Ramirez (5-0, 1.90 ERA, 10 SV) puts away his 300th save in a 3-2 win against the Cyclones.
May 30 – LAP OF/1B Jesus Espinoza (.251, 7 HR, 21 RBI) collects five hits – a homer, two doubles, and two singles – and drives in two runs in a 9-8 loss to the Rebels.
May 30 – Titans outfielder Steve Humphries (.294, 2 HR, 19 RBI) was expected to miss three weeks with a back strain.
May 31 – Boston 1B Bill Joyner (.360, 7 HR, 36 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak with two singles in a 6-5 loss to the Bayhawks.
May 31 – Warriors OF Alex Barnes (.257, 9 HR, 28 RBI) could be done for the year after tearing all the ligaments in his ankle.
May 31 – The Indians acquire MR Brian McLaughlin (1-4, 6.08 ERA, 4 SV) from the Bayhawks for #156 OF Ernesto Holguin.

FL Player of the Week: NAS INF Wil Mejia (.311, 6 HR, 24 RBI), batting .600 (12-20) with 2 HR, 3 RBI
CL Player of the Week: ATL OF Jake Evans (.256, 14 HR, 31 RBI), slapping .478 (11-23) with 5 HR, 12 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: RIC OF Jeremy Jenkins (.352, 13 HR, 34 RBI), hitting .381 with 12 HR, 24 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: BOS 1B Bill Joyner (.360, 7 HR, 36 RBI), firing .406 with 5 HR, 25 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: LAP CL Roberto Ramirez (5-0, 1.90 ERA, 10 SV), going 3-0 with an 0.64 ERA, 7 SV, 11 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: NYC SP Ben Seiter (7-2, 1.78 ERA), hurling 5-0 with a 1.44 ERA, 37 K
FL Rookie of the Month: RIC INF/RF Mario Moreno (.264, 9 HR, 26 RBI), socking .324 with 7 HR, 20 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: POR LF/1B/RF Malcolm Spicer (.300, 0 HR, 12 RBI), batting .320 with 4 RBI

Complaints and stuff

(angrily beats the Agitator and its “WORST RACCOONS WEEK EVER” headline to shreds over the edge of the desk) – Not that they’re *wrong* – I just don’t wanna ******* HEAR IT ANYMORE!!

The Coons scored 20 runs this week and allowed 2.5 runs for every run they somehow managed to fail onto the board for themselves, which made for a pretty bloody horrendous 0-6 week. After some .500 ball to begin the month of May, since the Stars series (three weeks) the team has gone 5-14. We’re **** and we suck at everything. It’s hard to make a case for anything but a pawful of players on the team to not just be flatout released, including, still, the entire ******* tossing staff.

Closer? Why would we need a closer? The Portland Raccoons also don’t have a State Department, because what would we need that for…? I mean, we *could* invest in a Department of Defense, but – (pours himself a bowl of cereals that look like little baseballs) – oops, all Victor Morales errors again!

Chance Fox refused a minor league assignment on Sunday, which probably doesn’t bode well for our future relationship given his ERA of A MILLION RUNS. No fifth starter was needed the next time through the lineup (because Alba was so great? whee…), so the Raccoons just loaded up on garbage relief on Sunday, now having Crowley AND Fox AND Madrid AND Carillo AND Dover AND John Nesbitt again for additional roster flitter.

Signs of the apocalypse? Justin DeRose pitched a ****ing 5-hit shutout for the Gold Sox on Sunday. I’m not entirely opposed to the world just ending at this point, y’know.

The Portland Doormats are taking their sucking on the road again next week, visiting Charlotte and Indy on their 2065 Charitable Donations tour around the country.

Fun Fact: While the Knights’ Victor Morales is older than the Raccoons’ Victor Morales, the Raccoons’ Victor Morales was here first, so the Knights’ Victor Morales has to officially go with both of his given names now.

He’s now Victor David Morales. Like it or shut it.

Victor David Morales is from Cantaura, Venezuela, and a switch-hitting outfielder and first sacker. He signed as a scouting discovery for no bonus with the Knights in ’56, and persistently avoided the prospect rankings spotlight on his slow rise through the minors. He made his debut in the ABL this month, at the age of 25, and through the weekend batted 1-for-18 with an RBI (the latter against the Coons, in case you weren’t sure).

The Raccoons’ Victor (Hugo) Morales is from Nezahualcoyotl, Mexico, and signed for a $325k bonus with the Coons in the 2059 July IFA period. He’s a right-handed hitting infielder (cough cough, third baseman) and rightfielder (shakes head with energy) that plopped up in the majors at the age of 22 in ’63 and claimed the void that has been third base for this team mostly just by existing. He’s hit for a 100 OPS+ in 274 career games so far, hitting .280 with 14 homers and 108 RBI. His defense is the reason why Raccoons broadcasts on NWSN are now PG-16, as he statistically makes an error every 47 innings.

Matt Nunley made an error every 76-odd innings.

I miss Matt Nunley.

Maud, the muffins are done, can I now finally put my head into the ******* oven?

[Westheim]

(watches somewhat appalled as a pair of Coons pitchers drift face down in his breakfast Wheatsies)

No bubbles.

Welcome to Portland baseball in 2065?

Raccoons (18-33) @ Falcons (28-22) – June 1-3, 2065

The Coons took their 6-game losing streak to Charlotte to try their luck against the Falcons, who had won two of three games against Portland earlier in the season. The Falcons were having a hard time scoring, with the fourth-fewest runs in the league, but I knew a couple o’ guys that would help them out with that.

Projected matchups:
Josh Elling (4-4, 3.97 ERA) vs. Luis Palacios (1-3, 4.78 ERA)
Shoma Nakayama (2-7, 3.82 ERA) vs. Aaron Ledbetter (7-2, 2.97 ERA)
Angel Alba (3-6, 4.81 ERA) vs. Jayden Craddock (6-3, 3.01 ERA)

Palacios was the only southpaw we expected to meet, while the Falcons were also a few faces short in the lineup with John Schmidt, Cody Padgett, and Mike Pinault all on the DL. But what do you need regulars for against a team with less than three pitchers that could pour themselves a glass of milk without walking the bags full?

Game 1
POR: LF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – SS Novelo – CF Garmon – RF Tallent – P Elling
CHA: LF T. Garcia – RF Nakamura – 1B Jes. Martinez – 3B T. Taylor – 2B Duhe – CF Geiger – C L. Miranda – SS Yoshikawa – P L. Palacios

Luis Miranda doubled home Jared Duhe with two outs in the bottom 2nd for the first run in the Monday opener as the Raccoons threatened to lie down and take it in an effort to extend their losing streak into the new week. The Falcons helped out a bit though in the top 3rd, which Tallent began with singling, and Jesus Martinez then misfired on Elling’s bunt, putting a second runner on base. Spicer clipped a soft single to load the bases with nobody out, before Morales flew out to Tony Garcia in left. Tallent made for home, Garcia’s throw was terrible and skipped past everybody, and the Raccoons tied the game on the second error of the inning, with the remaining runners moving up into scoring position. Burkart hit another sac fly, but Monck grounded out to Duhe to end the inning with Spicer left on third base. Palacios then had his existence ended in the fourth inning, which Kozak led off with a single before nothing happened until Tallent stuffed a triple down the gap with two outs. Elling singled home Tallent, Spicer got on base, too, and Vic Morales hit another triple to knock out the Falcons’ starter from a 6-1 game. Jesus Martinez in the fourth and Dan Geiger in the fifth led off the next two Falcons innings with infield singles, but both were doubled off by the next batters in line, Trent Taylor and Luis Miranda, respectively; Natsu Nakamura meanwhile hit an infield single with two outs in the sixth and was left on base instead, same as happened to Geiger with a 2-out double in the seventh.

So far, so well, but the Falcons were not quite dead yet. Takuro Yoshikawa doubled to left to begin the bottom 8th, which was a charitable description for what actually happened as Spicer had the ball caught going back to the fence, but dropped it when he slammed into the actual fence. Scott Moore walked, but Tony Garcia struck out before Elling was replaced with Tyson, who got a deep fly out from Nakamura before allowing an RBI double to Martinez. Exit Tyson, enter Carrillo, and then the Falcons’ Trent Taylor, Jared Duhe, and Dan Geiger rapped off three straight 2-out singles to drive in another three runs before Miranda flew out to Tallent to end the bloody ******* inning, Portland now up 6-5. Alvaro Garza kept the Raccoons from reacting in the ninth inning, while we shrugged and tried our luck with Jesse Dover in the bottom 9th. Yoshikawa grounded to short, from where Novelo threw the ball well past Kozak at first for a 2-base error. Swell! Dover walked Scott Brown, gave up a single to Garcia, and was purged for Jeremy Garvey, who officially blew the save when he couldn’t put Nakamura away in a 1-2 count and surrendered the (unearned) tying run on a grounder to Monck. Jesus Martinez ended the Coons’ misery with a walkoff single. 7-6 Falcons. Spicer 3-5; Tallent 2-4, 3B, RBI; Elling 7.1 IP, 8 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 1 BB, 8 K and 1-3, RBI;

There are no words.

There are no ******* ************ words.

Game 2
POR: LF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – SS Aoki – RF Bentley – CF Colter – P Nakayama
CHA: CF Geiger – RF Nakamura – C O. Matos – 1B Jes. Martinez – 3B T. Taylor – 2B Duhe – LF S. Brown – SS Yoshikawa – P Ledbetter

The Falcons loaded the bags in the bottom 1st when Nakayama walked Nakamura, and Oscar Matos, too, while Jesus Martinez reached base on a throwing error by Victor Morales, at which point I was getting pretty nak-ered. Taylor popped out, but Duhe singled home a 2-out pair before Brown flew out to end the miserable inning. Those runs were unearned, but the one where Matos singled home Geiger in the bottom 2nd wasn’t.

The Coons had one runner in scoring position in the first four innings, which was Monck after a double… however, Monck only got another chance at batting because Matos dropped his foul pop behind the plate for an error. Nakayama, in despair, then hit a 2-out double in the fifth, and the bases filled up when Spicer was nicked and Morales singled. All those shenanigans only led to Bruce Burkart leaving the bases loaded with a groundout to Duhe, though.

Nakayama pitched five and two thirds before tuckering himself out on 116 largely ineffective pitches. Yoshikawa was left on base when Tyson (entering in a double switch with Novelo over Aoki) got the final out of the inning from Geiger. Novelo promptly hit into a double play after Jamie Colter drew a walk in the seventh, while Tyson gave up a 1-out double to Matos in the bottom of that inning before being lifted for Cruz Madrid, who immediately surrendered the run on Martinez’ single to center, 4-0.

The Coons scored by accident in the eighth inning when Vic Morales hit a 1-out double to right and Burkart dropped a bloop single between a bushel of converging Falcons fielders. Monck’s fly to center was caught by Geiger, but got Morales home with a sac fly; that run however was butterpawed back on the board for the Falcons by Madrid in the bottom 8th, allowing two singles for the run. Colter doubled off Garza in the ninth, but was left on base as the losing streak grew and grew and grew. 5-1 Falcons. Morales 2-4, 2B; Burkart 2-4;

You know, Honeypaws. That was an upswing compared to Monday.

At least they didn’t threaten to actually win before sticking their faces into a running buzzsaw today…

(hangs head and sobs)

Game 3
POR: LF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – RF Bentley – SS Serrano – CF Garmon – P Alba
CHA: LF T. Garcia – RF Nakamura – C O. Matos – 1B Jes. Martinez – 3B T. Taylor – 2B Duhe – CF Geiger – SS Yoshikawa – P Craddock

For upsides, Alba retired the Falcons in order the first time through the lineup, but for downsides the Raccoons were almost as useless at the plate. Morales hit a single in the first, but was immediately doubled off, and Alba reached on an error in the third inning before Spicer grounded out to leave him on base. When the Falcons then got to Alba, they *got* to Alba, with singles by Nakamura and Matos and Jesus Martinez’ 3-run homer in the bottom 4th. Kozak then hit a single – yay, two hits in one game! – in the top 5th, and also was immediately wrapped up in Bentley’s double play, 5-4-3.

Alba added another sharp inning in the fifth before getting exploded for good in the sixth. It was Nakamura and Matos singles to begin the inning, and while Martinez this time found a double play to hit into, Trent Taylor’s homer and two more hits by Duhe and Geiger were enough to eject the right-hander from the game. Yoshikawa popped out against Nesbitt to end the inning. Nesbitt however walked Garcia, allowed an RBI double to Matos, and then a 2-run homer to Martinez in the seventh. Craddock was never tested and cruised to an 89-pitch, 3-hit shutout. 8-0 Falcons.

Raccoons (18-36) @ Indians (16-36) – June 5-7, 2065

June had barely started, and the start of this series would already see 72 losses assembled on the field. The unstoppable force threatened to meet the immovable object as the Raccoons threw their 9-game losing streak against the Indians’ own 5-game losing streak. They had the worst offense, we had the worst pitching. Their -55 run differential was already bad, but we had already sucked our way to -71 for the season! And there were still 108 games to play, giddy! So far, Portland was leading the battle between the league’s two most prominent cases for post-partum abortions, 4-2. We had won both series played, two games to one each, which constituted half the series we had won so far on the year, although right now we hadn’t won as much as a *one* ballgame since May 24…

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (0-2, 3.15 ERA) vs. Kelly Whitney (2-4, 4.74 ERA)
Josh Elling (4-4, 3.93 ERA) vs. Ramon Carreno (1-7, 3.50 ERA)
Shoma Nakayama (2-8, 3.63 ERA) vs. Mike DeWitt (2-3, 1.67 ERA)

Southpaw Sunday against DeWitt, whose treatment by his own team probably violated the Geneva Convention, and who made Jason Brenize let out audible sighs of relief that he had been drafted by the Titans.

Game 1
POR: LF Spicer – 3B Morales – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – RF Colter – SS Aoki – CF Garmon – P Walla
IND: CF M. Martin – SS G. Lujan – RF Dowsey – 3B Sowell – LF B. Johnston – C Reyna – 1B M. Rogers – 2B Falcon – P Whitney

Spicer led off the Friday opener with a double and was immediately stranded on base, while on the other side of the box score, Matt Martin led off the bottom 1st with a single, stole second, and scored on a 2-out double to left by ex-Coon Ken Sowell. (marks L in the pocket schedule)

The Coons tied the game in the third inning on leadoff singles by Garmon and Walla, who unleashed an infield single with two strikes on him. A wild pitch advanced them and Spicer plated Garmon with a sac fly, but the inning then ended with meek outs from Morales and Burkart without taking the lead. But the lead came a few innings later, with Walla holding the fort until the Indians could shoot themselves in the knee with a couple of arrows in the top 5th. Morales hit a 1-out single before Burkart reached on an error by Whitney, who crapped on a potential double play to end the inning, then ran a full count to Monck, who ended up singling to shallow left-center. Morales went around for home plate from second, Bryan Johnston’s throw was terrible, and not only did Morales score, but the trailing runners reached scoring position. Kozak’s sac fly made it 3-1, Whitney walked Colter, but Aoki struck out, limiting the damage to two unearned runs. The Indians then shoveled Morales, Monck, and Kozak on base with two soft singles and an intentional walk to Monck in between in the top 7th, and then the Raccoons finally got a big swipe to maybe dispel a demon or two when Jamie Colter socked his first major league home run, and it was a big one – GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!

That was the end for Whitney, and also for Raccoons offense in this ballgame, as they considered their day’s work done. They were kind of correct, because Nick Walla had the Indians under control and pitched into the late innings without much drama – with the exception of a ninth-inning solo homer hit by Johnston. Walla nevertheless finished the game without help for a complete-game 8-hitter. 7-2 Critters! Morales 2-5; Colter 1-3, BB, HR, 4 RBI; Walla 9.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, W (1-2) and 1-4;

…and then the Raccoons won 57 games in a row and rallied all the way past the competition into first place…!

Probably not, but maybe I can not cry myself to sleep for at least one night on the road trip.

Game 2
POR: LF Spicer – 3B Morales – 1B Kozak – 2B Monck – C Arellano – RF Bentley – SS Aoki – CF Tallent – P Elling
IND: CF M. Martin – SS G. Lujan – 1B Starwalt – RF Dowsey – 3B Sowell – LF B. Johnston – C Reyna – 2B Falcon – P Carreno

Spicer and Guillermo Lujan reached base in the first inning, but both were caught stealing as the teams went 1-2-3 eventually. Elling was less lucky in the bottom 2nd, which Justin Dowsey opened with a triple to right and then was immediately brought in by Ken Sowell with a groundout. The triple was the only Indians hit in the first four innings, although Elling walked three batters while striking out none. The Coons only got back on base in the top 5th when Carreno nailed Arellano before singles by Bentley and Aoki loaded the bases with nobody out. Carreno struck out Tallent, popped out Elling, and then fell to Spicer with two outs as the rookie strung a single to left-center to bring in the tying and go-ahead runs. Aoki stole third base, then scored on a wild pitch, 3-1, but Spicer was left on when Morales grounded out to Sowell.

With the lead, Elling suddenly turned his game around. After all walks and no whiffs before the Coons took the baton, he then struck out five and let nobody on base in the next three innings before the top 8th saw Morales, Monck, and Arellano clip three singles off Carreno to get a fourth run across. Bentley popped out, but Aoki with two gone slapped another RBI single. Colter batted for Tallent, but made the third out.

Elling pitched one more inning, but ended up with 108 pitches and would not return for the ninth inning. The Dowsey triple remained the only hit he gave up, and Garvey retired the Arrowheads in order in the bottom 9th to make it TWO wins in a row! 5-1 Coons. Spicer 2-5, 2 RBI; Serrano (PH) 1-1; Monck 2-4; Arellano 2-3, RBI; Bentley 2-4; Aoki 2-3, BB, RBI; Elling 8.0 IP, 1 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, W (5-4);

Game 3
POR: 3B Morales – SS Serrano – C Burkart – 2B Monck – 1B Kozak – LF Garmon – RF Colter – CF Tallent – P Nakayama
IND: CF M. Martin – SS G. Lujan – 1B Starwalt – RF Dowsey – 3B Sowell – LF B. Johnston – C Reyna – 2B Falcon – P DeWitt

Vic Morales started the game with a single and getting picked off first base. The Raccoons would score first after all, but not in the first inning. It was Tallent with a 2-out single to drive in Kozak in the top 2nd; Kozak had singled and Garmon had walked to facilitate the chance, but the inning then ended with Nakayama. In the third, Monck was robbed by Matt Martin in deep center, but Colter also robbed Miguel Falcon of extra bases in the same inning, making a leaping grab deep in the gap. Kozak finally got one up and outta here to lead off the fourth inning, extending the lead to 2-0 just as it began to rain. That rain quickly turned into a waterfall from the sky and sent everybody scurrying for the life rafts.

A rain delay of almost two hours wiped out both starting pitchers, even though Nakayama had only thrown 30 pitches and hadn’t allowed a base hit through three innings. Cruz Madrid got rid of the no-hitter with a walk to Danny Starwalt and an RBI double served up to Sowell in the bottom 4th, also cutting the 2-0 lead in half. The Portlanders answered with doubly-unearned runs in the top 5th where right-hander Victor Perez already had four outs collected on his own, but errors by Lujan and Sowell put Serrano and Burkart on base for Monck, who drove them in with a 2-out knock to left-center, 4-1. The fifth out of the inning, a K to Kozak, did the trick for Perez.

Crowley pitched two innings of relief without getting killed, while the Coons tacked on a run in the seventh with a Burkart homer to left, 5-1, and Garmon, Colter, and Spicer (who had entered the game batting ninth two double switches ago) whipped more hits off the Indians’ pen in the eighth, the latter two each driving in the guy in front of them. Chance Fox also pitched two scoreless innings in what was increasingly becoming garbage relief, then was retained and bunted into a double play in the ninth in order to just finish the game with him. Dowsey singled and Sowell and Falcon drew walks in the bottom 9th to load the bases, but Fox was left to his own devices when left-hander Steve Thompson pinch-hit and popped out to Novelo at short on a 1-2 pitch. 7-1 Furballs. Serrano 2-5; Kozak 1-2, BB, HR, RBI; Garmon 2-4; Colter 2-4, 2B, RBI; Spicer (PH) 2-3, 2B, RBI; Nakayama 3.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K; Crowley 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K; Fox 3.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 3 K, SV (1);

In other news

June 1 – MIL 1B Dave Robles (.243, 7 HR, 30 RBI) cracks a game-winning 13th-inning grand slam on the way to a 10-6 Loggers win in Oklahoma City.
June 1 – The Cyclones and Warriors celebrate the arrival of June with a 14-inning game that Cincy wins 4-3.
June 3 – The hitting streak of Boston’s 1B Bill Joyner (.349, 8 HR, 41 RBI) stops at 23 games with an 0-for-4 appearance in a 2-0 win against the Knights.
June 3 – The Canadiens beat the Aces, 4-2, but lose a combined no-hitter led with eight innings of VAN SP Ed Nadeau (2-6, 4.97 ERA) when new Canadiens closer Jon McGinley (1-2, 6.64 ERA, 11 SV) gives up a 2-out RBI triple to Vegas’ Nate Marazzo (.273, 2 HR, 11 RBI) in the ninth inning.
June 5 – Dallas’ SP Ian Peters (8-0, 2.74 ERA) remains undefeated in style with a 2-hit shutout of the Pacifics, who get blown out 10-0.
June 5 – Richmond SP Luis Olvera (4-3, 4.15 ERA) fires a 3-hit shutout to beat the Cyclones, 1-0.
June 6 – WAS 3B/SS Zach Suggs (.265, 9 HR, 21 RBI) would miss two weeks with an abdominal strain. The 39-year-old Suggs had already been dealing with a mild ankle sprain that left him day-to-day.
June 7 – SFB SS/2B Dustin Cox (.338, 0 HR, 6 RBI) collects six hits in an 11-inning, 9-8 win against the Condors. Cox hits five singles in regulation and a walkoff double in extras, driving in two runs total.
June 7 – The season of SAC SP Kenny Donnelly (2-5, 6.28 ERA) ends with a torn back muscle.

FL Player of the Week: DAL OF Chad Pritchett (.299, 10 HR, 39 RBI), raking .423 (11-26) with 4 HR, 15 RBI
CL Player of the Week: CHA OF/1B Jesus Martinez (.257, 9 HR, 37 RBI), socking .407 (11-27) with 2 HR, 9 RBI

Complaints and stuff

First career save for Chance Fox! I’m sure he’s as thrilled as we all are. (calmly puts the paws back into his bag of lard chunks)

The Raccoons showed that they can still win a game, albeit only against the Indians. It was our first series sweep this year (!!), and we’re now 7-2 against them, which also means we’re 14-34 against actual baseball teams. We at least got the upper paw in the race for the most horrendous run differential, which we entered well ahead but flicked it around to -56 Coons and -70 Arrowheads. The little things, y’know!

There’s another day off on Monday, and then we play at home-ish for two weeks. First six games in Portland against the Titans and Miners, then a trip down I-5 to Salem after that. We have another day off the Thursday after that Wolves series, then play three at home with the Crusaders. That also means we need a fifth starter just once in the next two weeks.

No I don’t expect the 3-game winning streak to last. Brenize (5-3, 2.16 ERA) might go in the Titans opener.

Fun Fact: Despite a shoddy conversion rate (58%), Malcolm Spicer is second in stolen bases in the CL.

He trails Vegas’ Vic Lorenzo, who has 22 stolen bases to Spicer’s 18. Timing seems to be more of an issue here, since he’s gone from one base to the next faster than a lasagna is gone in that clubhouse.