Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (14-17) vs. Gold Sox (10-21) – May 8-10, 2068

Last-place teams met in Portland beginning on Tuesday, as the Raccoons hosted the worst offensive team from the Federal League (just 3.5 runs per game). The Gold Sox’ pitching was mediocre, held together mostly by a strong defense. They were reaching base at just a .296 clip, which was embarrassing even to our fuzzy ears. Outfielder Matt Little was their most notable injury; when not on the DL with a forearm strain he was always good for 15 homers and a solid batting average. These two teams had met last season, when the Raccoons had won two of three games.

Projected matchups:
Alex Dominguez (3-2, 3.82 ERA) vs. Juan Ybarra (2-4, 2.45 ERA)
Vinny Morales (0-0, 1.50 ERA) vs. Jon Cuadrado (1-4, 7.45 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (2-3, 5.79 ERA) vs. John Bollinger (1-2, 3.58 ERA)

Among those three right-handers was the same John Bollinger that had made 28 largely forgettable starts for the Raccoons early in the decade, then had disappeared from view for a while before resurfacing in the majors with the Sox in late ’66. His starts, though, were still largely forgettable. He had made 34 (52 total appearances) for Denver since returning to the majors after years in AAA.

Game 1
DEN: LF N. Chapman – 1B J. Gutierrez – RF M. Sandoval – CF Tuck – C R. Rogers – 3B Stockton – SS Gonzilez – 2B L. Palacios – P Ybarra
POR: SS Duhe – CF Wilson – RF Corral – 1B Starr – LF Early – C Flowe – 2B Hills – 3B Mendoza – P Dominguez

The Raccoons only got Brian Hills on base the first time through, while Dominguez struck out three – all in full counts that accelerated his limited pitch count – while allowing a single to Chris Tuck and a home run to Ryan Rogers in the second inning for a quick deficit. Marquise Early would hit a home run in the fourth inning to get the teams even again, that one coming with Joel Starr having reached base with a 2-out walk. Offense was rather limited outside of the two dingers; Dominguez ramped up the strikeouts to eight through five innings, but was near 80 with his pitch count, while the Raccoons began the bottom 5th with a walk drawn by Hills and then Diego Mendoza singled to left. Both runners were bunted onwards by Dominguez, and Hills scored on Duhe’s grounder up the middle – but Alex Gonzilez also spiked the throw to Juan Gutierrez, who could not contain the ball, and had to chase it into foul ground. Mendoza held at third base, though, and the Coons were up 3-2 with runners on the corners. Wilson added an RBI single, but Corral and Starr made soft outs to keep a pair on base. Dominguez held the 4-2 lead through the sixth before Early’s leadoff walk in the bottom 6th was followed by another Sox error, this time Luis Palacios throwing a ball entirely past Gutierrez. Early and Flowe reached scoring position with nobody out. After Hills popped out easily, the Sox walked Diego Mendoza with intent, which sounded rather foolish, then brought a right-hander, Eric Matthews, for Dominguez, who was on 91 pitches and hit for with Jamie Colter – but the move didn’t pay off when Colter lined out to Norm Chapman in shallow left, and the runners held. There was no holding back with two outs though: Jared Duhe drew a bases-loaded walk, and both Wilson and Corral clubbed hits that plated two runs each before Starr grounded out. (casual high-fives with Slappy)

For Denver, the air was then out of the game. They would be held to a total of five hits in the game, and went down mostly meekly against competent relief from Hall, Yamauchi, and Holzmeister. The Raccoons loaded the bases with their 7-8-9 batters in the bottom 7th, but Duhe flew out and Wilson grounded out to prevent any runs from scoring in that inning. We had, however, scored enough already for a solid win. 9-2 Raccoons. Wilson 2-5, 3 RBI; Mendoza 2-3, BB; Dominguez 6.0 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 8 K, W (4-2);

Denver’s Luis Palacios left the game late with a shoulder strain and ended up on the DL.

Game 2
DEN: LF N. Chapman – 1B J. Gutierrez – RF M. Sandoval – CF Tuck – C R. Rogers – 3B Stockton – SS Gonzilez – 2B Proffitt – P Cuadrado
POR: SS Duhe – CF Wilson – RF Corral – 1B Starr – LF Early – C Flowe – 2B Hills – 3B Mendoza – P Morales

Fine, I sneered when the Gold Sox walked Diego Mendoza intentionally on Tuesday, but when they did not do it on Wednesday, with Marquise Early on second base and two outs in the bottom 2nd, he hit an RBI single to left-center to drive in the game’s first run. Offense was slow again to begin the middle game of the series, but while Morales was nominally on a 1-hitter through four innings it was to be noted that the Sox were really good at hitting balls quite hard, but right at people. Things got interesting in the fifth inning, when Dallas Stockton led off with a single and got himself caught stealing. Gonzilez then hit the next single right away, advanced on Justin Proffitt’s groundout, and then scored when Morales had the pitcher at 0-2, and for a lack of stuff couldn’t put him away and gave up an RBI single in the same spot where Mendoza had hit his earlier in the game, which was now tied at one. Chapman popped out to Wilson in shallow center to end the inning.

Bottom 6th, still tied, and Corral singled to begin the inning. Starr flew out to deep left, but Early walked, moving Corral to second base. Flowe’s pop did not help a whole lot, but Hills with two outs dished a ball through Juan Gutierrez at first base and up the line for an RBI double. This time the Gold Sox did walk Mendoza again, and the Raccoons lifted their starter for Jamie Colter for the second day in a row. Cuadrado walked him on straight balls to force in a run, 3-1, and then was yanked for lefty ex-Coon Ricky Baca. Duhe grounded out, leaving the bags packed. Off to the pen we went, with McMahan giving up a single to Stockton, but keeping the Gold Sox away from scoring in the seventh inning, which was followed by Dover with a 1-2-3 eighth, but Valentin then ran into a spot of bother in the ninth inning. The score was still 3-1 when Miguel Sandoval flicked an 0-2 pitch into shallow center for a leadoff single. Tuck popped out, but Rogers drove a ball past Pablo Novelo at second base and into right-center for a double, parking the tying runs in scoring position. Despite left-handed bats coming up, the Raccoons hung with Valentin, who then popped out Stockton on the infield. After a ball to Gonzilez, the Sox’ batter popped up the second pitch behind home plate. Flowe tossed his mask and rushed back to the netting and managed to grab the ball before it could hit the backstop, ending the game…! 3-1 Raccoons. Corral 2-3, BB; Early 1-2, 2 BB; Mendoza 1-2, BB, RBI; Colter (PH) 0-0, BB, RBI; Morales 6.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 3 K, W (1-0);

Ramon Archuleta came off the DL for the series finale, and Brian Hills was hitting, so Manny Arredondo (.115, 0 HR, 1 RBI) was off the roster.

Game 3
DEN: LF N. Chapman – 1B J. Gutierrez – RF M. Sandoval – CF Tuck – C R. Rogers – SS Gonzilez – 3B B. Wilken – 2B Proffitt – P Bollinger
POR: SS Duhe – CF Wilson – RF Corral – 2B Archuleta – 1B Starr – LF Early – C Flowe – 3B Mendoza – P Gaytan

Denver scored first on Thursday, plating a stupid run with doubles from Bollinger and Gutierrez; Gaytan had retired seven of eight before allowing the first hit to the opposing pitcher… He tried to make up with a leadoff single to left in the bottom 3rd, and Duhe followed with a double, putting the tying and go-ahead runs in scoring position right away in the inning. However, Wilson whiffed, and the Raccoons only got a run on Corral’s groundout before Archuleta flew out to Sandoval to keep the go-ahead run on third base.

They tried again in the bottom 5th with *another* leadoff single flicked to left by Gaytan. Duhe walked in a full count this time around, and Wilson’s single to right loaded the bases with nobody out. Corral hit a long fly to right that was caught by Sandoval on the warning track, but Gaytan jogged home to give himself a 2-1 lead on the sac fly. Duhe moved to third on the play, and Wilson desired second base and made a bid for a steal. Rogers’ throw hit the sliding Wilson’s furry tush and bounced away, and the Raccoons were off to the races as Wilson went to third base and Duhe scored. Archuleta then sent Wilson home with another sac fly, 4-1. Starr singled and knocked out Bollinger, but Early whiffed to end the inning.

Gaytan meanwhile looked less awful than he had for most of April. He allowed two hits and struck out five through five innings, and on just 59 pitches, had a 1-2-3 sixth… and then things came crashing down again. Tuck, Rogers, and Gonzilez clipped straight hits to begin the seventh inning, bringing in a run, and Gaytan walked Chad Whetstine to load the bases before getting yanked. McMahan came in to fan the flames, allowing a run on Proffitt’s groundout before ringing up Justin Donaldson – but then conceded the tying and go-ahead runs on a Chapman double to center. Gutierrez strung another single, but the inning ended with Chapman thrown out at the plate by Jaden Wilson…

At least the loss didn’t stick to Gaytan. The Raccoons did little in the bottom 7th, but Kehoe kept the Sox to their 5-4 lead in the top 8th before a parade of relievers put Starr on base with a 1-out walk in the bottom 8th, and then right-hander Mike Penaranda gave up a booming, score-flipping 2-run homer to Jake Flowe…! – …but then Valentin blew the lead in the ninth on a single by Dallas Stockton and Brycen Fink’s 2-out RBI double into the rightfield corner…… (dismayed groan) … Left-hander Danny Eisinger then sent the game to overtime; Eddy Ramirez hit a 2-out single in place of Wilson, but was stranded when Corral fanned.

Top 10th, and Dover drilled Miguel Sandoval with one out, but then struck out Tuck and got Rogers to ground out to short. Eisinger was still around and walked Archuleta to begin the bottom of the inning. Arch reached second base on a hit-and-run on which Joel Starr grounded out to short, but now the Sox walked Early intentionally to get to Flowe. The Raccoons got cute and called the double steal, but Archuleta was thrown out at third base by Rogers. “Just let me hit!”, begged Jake Flowe, then strung a walkoff single through the right side, plating Marquise Early from second base with it…! 7-6 Furballs! Ramirez (PH) 1-1; Flowe 4-5, HR, 3 RBI;

Raccoons (17-17) @ Loggers (20-14) – May 11-13, 2068

The Raccoons had handed the red lantern to the Titans on Thursday, while the Loggers had lost first place to the Crusaders, so things were developing in the CL North. But this was still the #1 offense in the league, and yes, they were still scoring over six runs a game, which was not something our pitching staff could generally cope with. Their pitching was mediocre, but a +38 run differential in early May was always playing. With Tim Goss and Mario Alaniz there were at least two of the sticks from the lineup missing, although they were noe exactly the ones you feared most and they still rocked up with FIVE qualifying .300 hitters… Milwaukee was up 2-1 in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Girolamo Pizzichini (1-1, 4.11 ERA) vs. B.J. Butrico (4-2, 2.54 ERA)
Nick Walla (1-3, 2.93 ERA) vs. Ramon Carreno (2-3, 5.40 ERA)
Alex Dominguez (4-2, 3.70 ERA) vs. Matt Crist (1-2, 4.61 ERA)

Butrico was the only Loggers starter with an ERA better than four. All of them were right-handed.

Game 1
POR: SS Duhe – CF Wilson – RF Corral – 2B Archuleta – 1B Starr – LF Early – 3B Hills – C D’Alessandro – P Pizzichini
MIL: RF D. Wright – CF Merrill – LF C. Dominguez – 1B C. Ramirez – 2B F. Carrera – SS Reber – C Guitreau – 3B Murcia – P Butrico

Despite the array of deadly weapons in that Loggers lineup, the Raccoons scored first when Joel Starr homered to left for a 2-0 lead in the top 2nd. An error by Fidel Carrera had put Ramon Archuleta on base to begin the inning. Early and Hills continued with a pair of singles before the battery struck out collectively, but Butrico made a mistake to Duhe with two outs and paid for it with an (unearned) 3-run homer to left-center. Butrico then got four more outs before being hit for. Phil Reder singled in his place in the bottom 3rd, but the Loggers were turned away for two singles and no runs by Pizza in the first round of orders. The Loggers got closer to scoring in the fourth inning then, getting Cesar Ramirez and Kyle Reber to the corners with a pair of sharp singles before Tommy Guitreau lined out to Duhe for the third out in the inning. The Coons would also waste a pair of singles by Wilson and Corral in the following half-inning.

Pizza got around a leadoff walk to Rafael Murcia in the bottom 5th, but then ran out of luck with Carlos Dominguez beginning the sixth with a single. Ramirez walked, Carrera hit an RBI single, and while Reber struck out, Guitreau drew another walk to load the bases and Pizza was served with a replacement order. Yamauchi gave up a sac fly to Murcia, 5-2, then got a groundout from PH Tony Mendez to end the inning. He got another out to begin the seventh before the Raccoons went to Mike Hall in a double switch against the four left-handed torture sticks that were still there, with Colter replacing Starr at first base. Hall got Merrill out, but then gave up three straight hits and was yanked with a run in and Ramirez and Carrera representing the tying runs in scoring position. Kehoe replaced Hall, gave up the tying runs on Kyle Reber’s single, allowed another single to Guitreau, and then Murcia finally ******* popped out, and the game was tied at five.

When Kehoe then gave up a leadoff jack to Yoslan Valdez in the bottom 8th to give Milwaukee the lead, he was made to wear it when the Loggers beat him up for another three singles and another run. Tetsu Kurihara offered a leadoff walk to Duhe in the ninth inning, putting the tying run back in the box, but between Wilson, Corral, and Archuleta the Raccoons got absolutely nothing out of that. 7-5 Loggers. Wilson 2-4, 2B; Early 2-4; Hills 2-4, 2B;

The Loggers had four hits through five innings, then exploded for 11 hits in the next three innings.

Meanwhile, Chris D’Alessandro hit for a golden sombrero.

Game 2
POR: SS Duhe – CF Wilson – RF Corral – 2B Archuleta – 1B Starr – LF Early – C Flowe – 3B Mendoza – P Walla
MIL: RF D. Wright – CF Merrill – LF C. Dominguez – 1B C. Ramirez – 2B F. Carrera – SS Reber – C Guitreau – 3B Murcia – P Carreno

Walla’s day began with a walk to Wright, an infield single by Merrill, and Dominguez getting brushed, at which point I marked an L in the pocket schedule. Ramirez’ double-play grounder plated Wright, but Carrera made an easy third out on the ground, and the Loggers got only the one run, but in this constellation it was never too early to throw in the towel. Starr tied the game with a homer in the top 2nd, but Walla had nothing, gave up hits to Reber and Murcia, and then a homer to Wright in the bottom 2nd to fall into a 4-1 hole.

A quickfire home run round followed, all solo pieces: first Starr, then Dominguez, followed by Archuleta, and then Dave Wright – the latter to lead off the bottom 5th, give the Loggers a 6-3 lead, and finally knock out Walla. Holzmeister was sent in to get abused and then probably sent back to AAA for another victim after the game.

Corral, Starr, and Early loaded the bases in the sixth inning with one out to put the tying runs on base. Flowe grounded up the middle, Carrera got the ball, but they only had an out on Early while a run scored. Mendoza hit an RBI single, 6-5, and there were still two on with two out for Holzmeister – and the Raccoons flinched. When Julio Robles replaced Carreno, Hills batted for Holzmeister – but struck out. And now what? Dover came in and got four outs from Reber to Reder in the #9 hole, but then was taken deep by Wright, which was Dave Wright’s third homer in the game and the fifth of the season… Hall got the last five outs, including the 2-3-4-5 henchmen in a row, but the Raccoons’ offense was shut up well by the Loggers’ pen and never amounted to a rally in the last three innings. 7-5 Loggers. Starr 2-4, HR, RBI;

Game 3
POR: SS Duhe – CF Wilson – 1B Starr – 2B Archuleta – C Flowe – LF Early – RF Colter – 3B Novelo – P A. Dominguez
MIL: RF D. Wright – CF Merrill – LF C. Dominguez – 1B C. Ramirez – 2B F. Carrera – SS Reber – C Guitreau – 3B Murcia – P Crist

The Raccoons galloped all over Matt Crist in the opening inning with Duhe and Starr singles putting them on the corners, and then Archuleta hit an RBI double, Flowe got an RBI single, Early got a sac fly, and Colter snapped an RBI single. That was a 4-0 lead once Novelo made the third out, or in other words, an average Loggers inning to get even again. The left-handed killing squad got Dominguez for a Merrill triple and a run on Dominguez’ groundout before Cesar Ramirez hit a single to right. Carrera lifted a ball into the left-center gap, but it was rushed down by Early on the run to end the inning.

Top 3rd, Archuleta got on, and then off again when Flowe’s grounder forced him out. But with one out, Early walked, and then Colter landed an RBI single in left-center, 5-1. Novelo’s RBI double in the gap ended Crist’s presence in the game. Vincent Hernandez allowed a sac fly to Dominguez, 7-1, but Duhe grounded out to send the Milwaukee Chuckers back to work. Wright led off the bottom 3rd with a groundout before Dominguez retired NONE of the left-handed batters. Two singles, a walk to Ramirez, and then Carrera hit an RBI single up the middle. Merrill scored, but Dominguez was thrown out by Wilson trying, and then Reber grounded out to short to leave two on in a 7-2 game. Yes, 7-2, but the cracks were showing.

The saving grace for Dominguez was that he at least got the bottom half of the order out, but that assault brigade tended to come back around… The Coons tacked on a run in the fifth when Novelo drove in Flowe with a single, 8-2, and then Dominguez got the 1-2-3 in order in the bottom 5th, which was a whole new concept of approaching this lineup. Dominguez plunked Ramirez with an 0-2 pitch to begin the sixth, but Carrera then hit into a double play – and then script flipped when Reber doubled, Guitreau singled, Dominguez plated Reber with a wild pitch, and conceded another run on a pinch-hit single by Phil Reder. This lineup…!!!

Wright singled to begin the seventh, and Wilson overran the ball for an error, which was the end for Dominguez. McMahan and Corral arrived in a double switch replacing him and Colter, but McMahan was behind everybody. Merrill popped out on a 3-0 pitch, while Dominguez drew the walk. Ramirez and Carrera both flew out to strand a pair. The trouble didn’t end there either. Yamauchi was in for the eighth, got two outs, then struck Murcia with a ball. Valdez hit a single, and Wright then hit a gapper for a 2-run triple – and Merrill came up as the tying run. The Coons went for Valentin in the 8-6 game, with Mendoza replacing Duhe in a double switch (Novelo went to short), and Valentin rung up Merrill to get out of the inning. The Coons had Archuleta and Early on against Jimmy Ding(er)man in the top 9th, but didn’t do anything with the runners, and it remained a 2-run game for Valentin to sort out. Dominguez grounded out, Ramirez flew out to left, and Carrera struck out. 8-6 Raccoons. Duhe 2-4, BB; Starr 2-5; Archuleta 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Colter 3-4, 2 RBI; Novelo 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Valentin 1.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, SV (11);

In other news

May 8 – The Thunder win 1-0 in ten innings against the Capitals. OCT LF Grant Anker (.250, 2 HR, 9 RBI) drives in the winning run with a walkoff single.
May 9 – The Aces thrash the Miners, 12-0, while LVA SP Gabe Molina (3-1, 3.28 ERA) throws a 3-hit shutout. Aces OF Victor Lorenzo (.326, 0 HR, 12 RBI) goes 5-or-5 with a double and two RBI in the game.
May 9 – VAN RF/LF Roberto Lozada (.331, 2 HR, 23 RBI) hits a walkoff grand slam to beat the Wolves, 6-2 in 12 innings.
May 10 – Thunder SP Ben Seiter (3-4, 6.94 ERA) wins his 250th game with seven innings of 3-hit, 10-K ball against the Capitals for a 5-1 OKC win. Of course, 236 of the 38-year-old right-hander and 2-time Pitcher of the Year game with the Crusaders.
May 11 – WAS CL Steve Keller (4-0, 1.89 ERA, 9 SV) was off to surgery for a torn flexor tendon in his elbow and was expected to miss at least a full year.
May 11 – PIT C/1B Nick Dingman (.255, 4 HR, 15 RBI) is day-to-day with a back strain that might bother him for two weeks. Since Dingman hit 40 homers last season, the Miners might be tempted to still have him play through it.
May 11 – The Capitals beat the Miners, 7-6 in 14 innings, despite getting out-hit 17-11 by Pittsburgh.
May 12 – Cincy loses closer John Faughnan (1-1, 2.04 ERA, 10 SV) for a month with a shoulder strain.
May 12 – The Titans break out in the top of the 13th inning to beat the Indians, 8-4.
May 13 – BOS SP Mike Bell (4-1, 2.97 ERA) throws a 2-hit shutout against the Indians while being in control of a 10-0 game.

FL Player of the Week: NAS RF Austin Gordon (.342, 13 HR, 38 RBI), smashing .400 (10-25) with 5 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: MIL RF/LF Carlos Dominguez (.373, 5 HR, 27 RBI), cracking .542 (13-24) with 1 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

It’s a bit frustrating when you give up 6+ runs every game to a team, but for the Loggers, that’s AVERAGE. We also can’t complain about our own offense, which served the Loggers almost as well as ours got shredded… Almost. Still lost two of three.

The Coons are in last place, but only four games out in a tight division. We give up the most runs in the CL, more than 5.1 per game (don’t dare to act surprised), and the offense is seventh in runs scored solely on dingers. We’re tops with 35 home runs, and bottoms with 13 stolen bases. The Lonzo days are over.

We might bring up Matt Schmieder, who is doing fine in AAA, and Josh Carrington also has pieced himself back together, walking two and whiffing seven in 6.1 innings in St. Petersburg since being excised.

Lower down the Raccoons began to make some room in single-A, even with the draft over a month away. Some players were released, including 2064 eighth-rounder Scott Cole, who four years after getting drafted was still poking around in single-A … until now at least.

We’ll have the next two Mondays off, framing a 6-game homestand against the Canadiens and Condors.

Fun Fact: Ben Seiter led the CL in wins five years in a row from 2057 through 2061.

This coincided with the era when the Crusaders won two rings in 2056 and 2060. Seiter led the league in ERA in ’56, the year in which he won the first of his two consecutive Pitcher of the Year awards. In ’57 he also led the CL in strikeouts, the only time he achieved that feat.

The next big number for Seiter was probably not far away – although his terrible ERA was down to a loss of command this year (and with a year to spare on his contract!), as his walk numbers had DOUBLED compared to last season. Nevertheless, in 3,736 career innings he had now struck out 2,985 batters, and 15 more should be able to come around at some point.

(checks whether he was in line to face the Coons any time soon) Nah, we’ll only play them again in June.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (18-19) vs. Canadiens (21-15) – May 15-17, 2068

Uck, the Elks!! It smells! Nevertheless, they were one game out of the lead in the North, and it was mostly on pitching, giving up the second-fewest runs in the CL, in stark contrast to the Raccoons. Both teams were right around average in scoring. The Coons had not won a season series from the damn Elks in six years, with four straight defeats, including 8-10 in 2067.

Projected matchups:
Vinny Morales (1-0, 1.50 ERA) vs. Vince Ellison (4-0, 2.65 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (2-3, 6.02 ERA) vs. Nate Freeman (2-4, 3.89 ERA)
Girolamo Pizzichini (1-1, 4.02 ERA) vs. Ernesto Culver (3-3, 5.93 ERA)

The Elks had been off on Monday (like the Coons) and the preceding Thursday, and they had wiggle room to get southpaw Martyn Polaco (3-0, 2.17 ERA) into this series. The other starters were all right-handed.

Game 1
VAN: 3B C. Castro – 2B Kilday – C Varner – LF Chenette – CF D. Moore – 1B R. Cordero – RF Atkins – SS Barraza – P Ellison
POR: SS Duhe – CF Wilson – 1B Starr – 2B Archuleta – RF Corral – LF Early – C Flowe – 3B Mendoza – P Morales

Maybe next year, though, because the Raccoons’ left side of the infield committed a pair of errors to begin the second inning and then watched in awe as Rick Atkins hit a 3-run tater to Vancouver, Washington for the first runs (one earned) in the game. Neither team would get more than three base hits in the first five innings, so that was a biggie. While Morales struck out four and didn’t walk anybody, which was sure a nice development, the Raccoons managed to get a run in the fourth on a pair of doubles hit by Starr and Corral, but apart from that looked rather tame against Ellison, who also struck out four and allowed one earned run through five innings.

When Jared Duhe drew a walk to begin the bottom 6th, the Raccoons never got the runner off first base as they made three meek outs in order. In turn, Dan Moore and Rico Cordero singles back-to-back to begin the seventh would have the Elks score a run when Roberto Barraza hit a 1-out grounder to short and the Raccoons couldn’t turn two in time, allowing Moore to score from third base. Ellison issued back-to-back walks to Early and Flowe in the bottom 7th, but Diego Mendoza rumbled into an inning-ending double play…

Hall and Kehoe then exploded for a 4-run inning in the eighth, capped with Rico Cordero’s 3-run homer off Kehoe, even though all the other runners had been put on base by Mike Hall, and Nick Vaughn’s pinch-hit homer off Holzmeister in the ninth put the cherry on top. The Elks had seven hits in the final four innings, and the Raccoons had but one. 9-1 Canadiens. D’Alessandro (PH) 1-1; Morales 7.0 IP, 5 H, 4 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 6 K, L (1-1);

At this rate, we’d have a bullpen ERA over six before the weekend.

Game 2
VAN: 3B C. Castro – 2B Kilday – RF Lozada – C Varner – LF Chenette – CF D. Moore – 1B R. Cordero – SS Barraza – P N. Freeman
POR: SS Duhe – CF Wilson – 1B Starr – 2B Archuleta – RF Corral – C Flowe – LF Ramirez – 3B Mendoza – P Gaytan

Gaytan simply sucked and had oodles of traffic on the bases right to begin the game, although the Elks would find ways to hit into outs with runners on base for three innings, although luckily for them that went away in the fourth inning of a scoreless (…) game when Tyler Chenette was hit on the first pitch offered by Gaytan, and then Dan Moore right away whacked a double. The Elks scored their runners on Barraza’s groundout and a Freeman sac fly to go up 2-0, but with the bases empty, Gaytan started refilling them again, allowing three straight singles for a third run, then walked Roberto Lozada to fill the bases and Steve Varner with the bases loaded. He was then disposed of; Yamauchi got a groundout from Chenette to end the ******* inning.

Freeman was still no-hitting the Raccoons at this point, and was still doing so when McMahan cluelessly walked a pair and gave up a run on an infield single by Chenette with two outs in the top 6th, and continued with that act afterwards, while the Raccoons were mostly concerned about running out of arms to throw garbage innings. McMahan was dug out by Holzmeister, who got four outs, and Dover pitched a 1-2-3 eighth, with the no-hitter still raging. Corral bounced out to Matt Kilday to begin the bottom 8th, but the bid blew up with five outs to go when Jake Flowe hit a zinger up the middle for a single. And then Novelo pinch-hit straight into a double play. Freeman would pitch into the ninth inning, where PH Brian Hills reached on a Barraza error. Matt Nelson then replaced Freeman and got a game-ending double play from Duhe. 5-0 Canadiens.

(gives a confused Jake Flowe a thick smooch)

Game 3
VAN: 3B C. Castro – 2B Kilday – RF Lozada – C Varner – LF Chenette – CF D. Moore – 1B R. Cordero – SS Barraza – P E. Culver
POR: SS Duhe – CF Wilson – 1B Starr – 2B Archuleta – RF Corral – LF Colter – 3B Hills – C D’Alessandro – P Pizzichini

Pizza was just as useless as everybody else and gave up two runs right in the opening inning, allowing two hits, two walks, and two runs – which were even unearned thanks to the whole ******* inning starting with Kilday reaching on a 1-out, 2-base throwing error by Jared Duhe. Lozada then hit an RBI single and things developed from there, although Barraza eventually grounded out to leave the bases loaded. Starr and Archuleta reached base in the first, but were left on by Corral, while Colter walked and Hills singled to begin the bottom 2nd for some traffic that remained stationary while D’Alessandro struck out, Pizza popped out, and Duhe grounded out to Carlos Castro.

While Pizza managed to run up a pitch count of 87 in just four innings with endless long counts and a full-count walk to Culver thrown in for good measure in the fourth, the Raccoons started the bottom 4th again with Colter and Hills reaching base, this time on a pair of singles. D’Alessandro whiffed again, but Pizza hit a single up the middle and drove in Colter for the team’s second run of the week, and it was merely 2:20pm on a ******* Thursday. Duhe flew out to left and Wilson grounded out to Kilday to make sure no tying run came anywhere near home plate. Joel Starr led off the bottom 5th with a single, but was forced out by Archuleta, who could not get a steal off, but then rushed to third base on a Corral single to right. He drew a throw from Lozada, and Corral scurried up to second base behind him, putting runners on second and third with one out. Colter promptly popped out to short, but Hills dished a ball into the left-center gap for a 2-out, score-flipping double. D’Alessandro was walked intentionally, but Marquise Early batted for Pizza and served another RBI double. Duhe then flew out to left again to leave a pair in scoring position in the 4-2 game in which the Raccoons now had to get 12 outs from their rancid bullpen.

Four outs were brought in by Kehoe before he allowed a pinch-hit single to Rick Atkins in place of Culver. The runner was caught stealing on Mike Hall’s watch before he walked Castro and then got a pop from Kilday. Duhe batted with a pair in scoring position again in the bottom 7th after D’Alessandro and Eddy Ramirez reached with 2-out hits, but now grounded out to Barraza. Instead, Dan Moore doubled home Steve Varner against Yamauchi in the eighth inning, reducing the lead to one run temporarily before the offense claimed the second run back in the bottom 8th. Starr got on, was forced out by Archuleta, but this time Archuleta stole second and then came around on Corral’s 2-out single to right off lefty Paul Wolk. Novelo walked, but Hills struck out to end the inning. The Raccoons then went to Valentin, who had been forced to pitch a garbage ninth inning the day before, and right away things hit the ******* again. Barraza and Castro reached with base hits and went into scoring position and right away Kilday drove the dagger in with a game-tying single to left-center. Lozada popped out, Varner doubled and hurt himself and was run for with Kevin Herr, and Chenette struck out. Too little, too late.

D'Alessandro hit a leadoff single in the bottom 9th before the team resorted to croaking, which sent the game to extra innings. Dover held the game together in the tenth inning, but the Raccoons had Starr on with a leadoff walk and then doubled up by Archuleta… Dover returned for another inning, walked Carlos Castro right away, but got out of the inning with a Kilday groundout, Lozada lining out to Starr, and Wilson making a diving catch to retire Herr, the backup catcher, to keep Castro stranded. Bottom 11th, Novelo led off with a single off Matt Nelson, but was forced out by Hills, who in turn was caught stealing. McMahan pitched a scoreless 12th, then had to bat leading off the home half of the inning. While Diego Mendoza was still on the bench, the Coons were about out of relievers and Nick Walla popped up in the bullpen in the bottom 12th doing stretches. He would likely be in for the 14th should things escalate to that. For now, though, McMahan struck out, but Justin Wittman’s strike three got away from Herr, and McMahan somehow reached first base in time on the uncaught third strike – and then Duhe hit INTO ANOTHER ******* DOUBLE PLAY. Wilson singled – and was caught stealing… Maud… I’ll need … can you please make a tea for me? I feel like my head is going to burst off in the next six seconds.

Maud was a good girl, unlike the bozos on the field, who managed to wipe out a Walla start by ******* the game into the 14th inning, when he made his first ever relief appearance after 102 starts in the majors. Walla allowed a single to Chenette, but got around that, then saw Hills lead off the bottom 14th with a single. D’Alessandro doubled to right, and the Coons had a pair in scoring position with nobody out. Mendoza was STILL on the bench, but we couldn’t hit for Walla. We’d hit for Dumbo Duhe though, if Walla wouldn’t get the winning run across, which he didn’t, falling to 2-2 before hitting a fly to left. Chenette made the catch, Hills went for home, because WHY ******* NOT, and – was thrown out. D’Alessandro boggled up to third base, and Mendoza indeed batted for Duhe. He struck out. (slurps tea)

Mendoza then had to play the outfield for the first time since Little League because that’s where Duhe had been playing for the last few hours, but no ball came his way in the near future. Kevin Herr threw out Wilson again in the bottom 15th, then got Walla for a 2-out homer to right to break the tie in the 16th inning. Bottom 16th, Wittman walked Hills, was yanked for Dallas Samson, who walked D’Alessandro. Those were with one out, and there were no hitting options for Walla anymore, and since Walla was hitting only 30 points less than Mendoza, why not let him swing away? He ended the game! …by grounding to short for a 6-4-3 double play. 6-5 Canadiens. Starr 4-5, 3 BB; Corral 3-8, RBI; Hills 4-7, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; D’Alessandro 3-6, 2 BB, 2B; Early (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; Ramirez (PH) 1-1; Dover 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K; McMahan 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

The Raccoons had 23 hits in this game.

They had 23 hits and couldn’t get … (moves paws around erratically) … like … (aggressive paw stabbing) … get in front of the damn Elks???

(aggressively slurps tea)

Raccoons (18-22) vs. Condors (14-26) – May 18-20, 2068

Two tire fires would see who could burn brightest on the weekend, as the Raccoons were all out of pitching, and the Condors had commitments totalling $105M in the offseason and had the worst record in the CL for it. They were scoring the fewest runs in the Continental League, and were giving up the third-most, just ahead of the Raccoons in the latter category, as we gave up the second-most. Phil Nelson, Colt Long, and Phil LeVan were injured, and some other pieces had been through nagging injuries already, including Rich Monck. Mike Brann led the league with 11 homers, but spent most of his time batting leadoff for some ******* reason, and the entire lineup was hitting under .270, with a .235 team batting average. Jason Brenize was 1-6, and the only starting pitcher with more than one win (Phil Nelson) had just shoveled off to the DL for the year. Teams had traded 5-4 season series wins for six straight years. This would be the Coons’ year.

Projected matchups:
Alex Dominguez (5-2, 3.99 ERA) vs. Miguel Lopez (1-2, 2.68 ERA)
TBD vs. Aaron Ledbetter (1-3, 3.31 ERA)
Vinny Morales (1-1, 1.89 ERA) vs. Ryan Davis (1-0, 4.82 ERA)

Only right-handers in that rotation for the Condors.

The Raccoons’ pitching was entirely in disarray after two ****** starter appearances and Walla getting used up in relief for the weekend, having thrown 41 pitches for the loss. We had no replacement lined up as of Friday morning, and we had three relievers (Dover, McMahan, Valentin), who were out of the question for the series opener. Neither Rated-R nor Gabriel Rios were available for a start on regular rest ahead of Morales, so we’d have to make some wacko moves in the next 24 hours.

Game 1
TIJ: SS J. Turner – LF Nakamura – 1B D. Cline – 3B Monck – CF Pinault – RF A. Lee – C Lippert – 2B M. Moreno – P Mi. Lopez
POR: CF Wilson – 2B Archuleta – 1B Starr – LF Early – RF Corral – C Flowe – SS Novelo – 3B Mendoza – P Dominguez

A good long outing by Dominguez was an absolute requirement if we wanted to keep **** together at all now, while offense was almost optional. Nevertheless, Archuleta singled, scored on a Starr double, and Corral added a soft 2-out single to put runners on the corners in the bottom 1st, where Flowe left them by whiffing. Longtime Titans benchwarmer Andy Lee hit a single off Dominguez in the second inning, but apart from that the Condors piled up six strikeouts in the first three innings. Starr hit the Coons’ first home run of the week with a solo shot to right in the third inning, doubling the score to 2-0.

Dominguez tried to gain length, getting around a Natsu Nakamura single in the fourth and Randy Lippert’s single in the fifth, but ran up a pitch count of 64 with seven strikeouts, which was not great with his limited stamina. Throwing nine pitches to David Cline and then losing him to a single in the sixth was also not ideal, but he, too, was left on base. Corral went deep to right-center to extend the lead to 3-0 in the bottom 6th, and a Flowe single, an intentional walk with two outs to Mendoza, and an infield single by Dominguez off Dan Garicia then filled the bases. Garicia, just into the game, walked in a run against Wilson, but then got a groundout from Archuleta to Mario Moreno to end the inning.

Dominguez was wrung out for 101 pitches in seven shutout innings, scattering five base hits in the end. Mike Hall got the ball in the eighth, entering in a double switch that replaced Early with Eddy Ramirez in left, put Jason Turner and Cline on base, but struck out a hitless Rich Monck (.236, 2 HR, 14 RBI) to end the inning. Kehoe got the 4-0 lead for the ninth. He struck out Mike Pinault and Lee, then walked Lippert on straight balls. Moreno singled. Technically we were now in a save situation, but there was nobody behind Kehoe in the pen. It was him or nobody against right-handed batter Josh Rugar pinch-hitting in the pitcher’s spot. Rugar poked the first pitch to right, Corral came in, and made the catch. 4-0 Coons. Starr 2-4, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Corral 3-4, HR, RBI; Dominguez 7.0 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 9 K, W (6-2) and 2-3;

Jared Duhe didn’t play in this game, the first one he missed in the brown shirt. That’s what you get for pissing me off this much in a 16-inning clonker. Starr and Wilson remained as every-day heroes for this season.

Jamie Colter (.308, 0 HR, 3 RBI) was then cut from the roster to make room for a spot starter, Cameron Bridges, who was neither good, nor a real starter, but it was all the Raccoons could muster for Saturday. Bridges would only be here for a day and then get removed for another broken toy.

Game 2
TIJ: C Brann – LF Nakamura – 1B D. Cline – 3B Monck – CF Pinault – RF A. Lee – SS J. Turner – 2B M. Moreno – P Ledbetter
POR: SS Duhe – CF Wilson – 1B Starr – LF Early – RF Corral – C Flowe – 2B Archuleta – 3B Mendoza – P Bridges

Bridges had pitched to a 4.72 ERA in nine relief outings last season and had a 3.29 ERA in relief for the Alley Cats this year, so yes, this was pure despair. Somehow it translated into facing the minimum the first time through – while allowing a single to Nakamura, who was doubled off by Cline – and on only 30 pitches. Oh, and the skies were darkening rapidly. Of course it started to rain soon, and good, and we had an hourlong rain delay 3.2 shutout innings into Bridges’ season debut.

Since he was literally expendable, Bridges resumed pitching after the rain delay in what was a scoreless game, and at least got through five for the time being. He batted for himself to begin the bottom 5th and made an out before Ledbetter allowed a single to Duhe, a double to Wilson, and Starr was then intentionally walked to get Marquise Early up, who was hitting .330 and not getting any respect this side of the hood. He also struck out on three pitches, but Corral with two outs lifted a drive to deep right – and it was outta here! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!

When Bridges went back out he was right away taken deep by Mike Brann for #12, then walked Nakamura. Monck singled with one out, and Bridges was yanked with the tying run in the box. Dover replaced him, got a grounder to third from Pinault, but Monck and Archuleta collided at second base, breaking up a potential 5-4-3 double play, and also Archuleta, who remained on the ground and held his side until he was collected by Luis Silva, he with the concerned face. Hills replaced him, playing short, with Duhe going to second base, and Dover struck out Lee to keep Bridges’ runners on the corners. Holzmeister then pitched an inning before Condors long man Harry Facteau walked Duhe to begin the bottom 7th. Wilson’s grounder advanced the runner, Starr was walked intentionally again, and this time Early snapped an RBI single to right, 5-1. Corral was then also intentionally walked when the runners moved into scoring position on Andy Lee’s late throw home, loading them up for Flowe, who flew out to Lee. Starr went home, and Lee this time made the throw for a 9-2 double play to end the inning.

The Coons hung with Holzmeister in the eighth since they didn’t have a rested left-hander available for the all-lefty array of Lippert, Cline, and Monck. Holzmeister got a grounder from Lippert to Starr, then dropped the feed at first base for an error before walking the bags full, uselessly. Yamauchi replaced him, saw Pinault line out to short on his first pitch, then walked in two runs to Lee and Turner before Moreno tied the game with a 2-run single. Absolute ********.

Bottom 8th, and the Portland Bums put trouble kids Mendoza and D’Alessandro on the corners with a pair of 1-out hits against southpaw David Carlson, but that wasn’t anything Duhe couldn’t fix with another double play hit into. Meanwhile, the all-lefty 2-3-4, now headed by Chris Lauterbach playing rightfield, was back up to lead off the top 9th, and we still didn’t have an available left-hander. Valentin was sent out, even though the lead had been already blown expertly by the subordinates. He rung up Lauterbach, walked Cline, but Monck hit into a double play to end the inning now. Jaden Wilson then led off the bottom 9th with a gapper in right-center against Carlson, turned second base to head for third – and was thrown out by Lauterbach. (noisily double-facepaws) Yes, Maud. Tea please.

Starr drew a walk, but things went nowhere from there, except for extra innings. The Raccoons stuck with Valentin in the tenth, because the next-best idea was Kehoe on the third straight day, or Vinny Morales, and who’s gonna ******* pitch tomorrow then?? Pinault bashed a leadoff triple, but Valentin then popped out Rugar and got Turner and Moreno on strikes to keep the game tied, which at this point I wasn’t so sure I cared about anymore. When the Coons went in order against former Portland righty Justin Cullum in the bottom 10th, Morales ended up on the hill. Jason Thorpe grounded out to begin the 11th against him, while Brann doubled to left. Morales bungled Lauterbach’s comebacker for an error, putting the Condors on the corners, then got Cline on a pop and Monck on a grounder to third. Morales hit for himself to begin the bottom 11th – and since we were a guy short on the bench the only option would have been Novelo, who was also the next pitcher on the bump – and grounded out. Duhe remained useless, but Wilson doubled to right. For once this week, Joel Starr was not walked intentionally with a guy vaguely near scoring position – and he cranked a walkoff homer to end the game. 7-5 Blighters. Duhe 3-5, BB; Wilson 3-6, 3 2B; Starr 1-3, 3 BB, HR, 2 RBI; Early 3-5, RBI; Corral 1-3, 2 BB, HR, 4 RBI; Mendoza 2-5, 2 2B; D’Alessandro (PH) 1-1; Bridges 5.1 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K; Valentin 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K;

We made two errors in this game – both by “relief” pitchers.

And now ******* what? Who’s gonna ******* start on Sunday??

Well, there was a roster purge, not all of which was performance related. Luis Silva diagnosed Ramon Archuleta with an intercostal strain, so he was back to the DL and not expected back before the end of June or even the All Star Game. Cameron Bridges (0-0, 1.69 ERA) and Jason Holzmeister (0-0, 8.71 ERA) were sent back to the Alley Cats.

Infielder Gary Gates returned, but foremost we needed a starter for Sunday. Walla was on two days’ rest from three innings on Wednesday, and was maybe good to throw 75 pitches now – but who did we have to follow him after perhaps only five innings? It was too big a risk, but the rested option in AAA was Rated-R (2-1, 8.50 ERA), who had an 0.81 ERA in three starts for St. Pete, which, fun fact, was almost eight full runs lower than his Coons ERA. It was the least crazy option though and he was returned, even if probably just for one day. Finally, Matt Schmieder was called up as an extra arm (leaving the bench a man short), so that we could perhaps somehow make it to the off day… we had three right-handers (Valentin, Dover, Yamauchi) who were pretty torched after this week and could use being left alone for a couple of days.

Game 3
TIJ: C Brann – LF Nakamura – 1B D. Cline – 3B Monck – RF A. Lee – SS J. Turner – CF Rugar – 2B M. Moreno – P Ry. Davis
POR: 2B Duhe – CF Wilson – 1B Starr – LF Early – RF Corral – C Flowe – SS Hills – 3B Mendoza – P Rautenstrauch

Rated-R didn’t allow a lot the first time through, but he did allow a solo homer to Rich Monck to get the Condors into the lead, while Ryan Davis walked FOUR batters the first time through, but also struck out three and allowed no runs to the Critters, who went on to get Wilson and Starr to the corners with a pair of leadoff singles in the third inning before Early popped out, Corral popped out, and Flowe grounded out. (squirts a bit of Capt’n Coma into his tea)

Wilson would pop out with Mendoza and Duhe on the corners to leave another pair stranded in the fourth, while Rated-R did what he could, which admittedly wasn’t much. He was behind in the count at lot, but didn’t walk anybody until Rugar drew four balls to begin the fifth inning. Moreno then struck out and Davis hit into a double play to end the inning. Bottom 5th, and the Coons had a pair again when after Starr popped out to second, Early singled and Corral doubled. Flowe’s poor grounder and Hills’ fly to left stranded those runners, too… Another pair was on base when Mendoza walked and was forced out by Rated-R on a bad bunt in the bottom 6th, and then Wilson added his lazy tush to the bases with two outs. Starr grounded out to short, which made it for the FIFTH inning in the game in which the ******* Critters had stranded two or three runners on base – without ever scoring.

They made it six-outta-seven when Flowe and Hills knocked out Davis with a pair of 2-out singles, but Mendoza then grounded out against Bronson Vanderven in the seventh. Pinault singled from the #9 spot to begin the eighth for Tijuana and stole second as Brann struck out, which was the end for Rated-R. McMahan came in for the bunch of lefty sticks coming up, along with Novelo in a double switch involving Mendoza, and the Condors answered by batting right-hander Art Walker for Nakamura, but he struck out and Cline grounded out to Duhe, who drew a walk in the bottom 8th and was doubled up by Wilson for some variety in the misery. McMahan would get four outs before giving up a single to Lee, after which Schmieder got a groundout from Turner. Cullum then entered to try and save the 1-0 game in the bottom 9th, with Starr leading off. He flew out to Walker in left, but Early singled to center. Corral singled to right, and Early hustled the tying run to third base. Flowe grounded out to first base, with Early having to hold when Cline looked at him menacingly after picking up the ball, but Corral moved up. The game ended with Brian Hills, who swiped at the first pitch he got, hit a sharp grounder to right, Moreno dove and missed it, and Early and Corral rushed home ahead o a throw by Lee, that was off line and no help for Randy Lippert at the plate. It’s a walkoff!! 2-1 Blighters. Early 2-5; Corral 2-5, 2B; Hills 2-5, 2 RBI; Mendoza 3-4; Rautenstrauch 7.1 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 7 K;

Eleven hits, eight walks, two double plays hit into, and a baker’s dozen left on base. Jesus H. Christ.

In other news

May 14 – TIJ SP Phil Nelson (3-5, 6.55 ERA) has surgery for a damaged elbow ligament and is out for the season.
May 15 – OCT INF/LF Carlos Gutierrez (.241, 3 HR, 16 RBI) drives in five runs on three hits – including two homers – from the leadoff spot in a 15-5 win against the Knights.
May 16 – Indy SP Justin Esch (1-2, 3.65 ERA) was going to miss time until the All Star Game after suffering a triceps strain.
May 16 – CIN OF Fernando Cruz (.293, 1 HR, 8 RBI) was out at least one month with a strained hamstring.
May 16 – The Stars down the Scorpions, 15-0. DAL INF/RF/CF Jeff Maudlin (.353, 1 HR, 7 RBI) chips in five hits, four singles and a double, and drives in one run. Driving in runs is mostly left to CF Tyler Wharton (.311, 9 HR, 32 RBI), who plates six on three hits, though nothing bigger than a bases-clearing double.
May 17 – IND 1B Matt Rogers (.243, 7 HR, 27 RBI) hits two home runs and a single and drives in the margin of victory of six runs as the Indians beat the Loggers, 13-7.
May 18 – Boston CL Cody Kleidon (2-2, 3.38 ERA, 8 SV) nails down a 1-0 win against the Falcons for his 300th career save. Kleidon, who did most of his work with the Indians, has a career 3.36 ERA.
May 18 – In his second career game in the majors, CIN OF Aaron Hutnick (.500, 0 HR, 0 RBI) goes 5-for-5 – all singles and no RBI’s – in a 4-1 win against the Warriors.
May 18 – The Stars have to put INF/RF/CF Jeff Maudlin (.356, 1 HR, 18 RBI) on the DL due to a broken thumb on his throwing hand.
May 19 – A broken hand could cost LVA RF/LF Alfredo Rosado (.336, 4 HR, 34 RBI) most of the remainder of the season. Rosado was last season’s CL Rookie of the Year.
May 20 – Richmond’s Darby Laybolt (.274, 7 HR, 24 RBI) smacks three home runs in an 8-7 win against the Stars in Dallas. In addition to the three home runs, including the game decider in the 11th inning, Laybolt hits a single, and is hit by the pitch twice. He drives in “only” three runs with his heroics.
May 20 – The Capitals trade outfielder Alex Romero (.279, 4 HR, 28 RBI) to the Miners for a different outfielder, Luis Morales (.315, 1 HR, 16 RBI).

FL Player of the Week: LAP OF John Miller (.331, 9 HR, 30 RBI), batting .448 (13-29), 3 HR, 9 RBI
CL Player of the Week: IND C/1B Alex Gomez (.228, 5 HR, 15 RBI), slamming .478 (11-23) with 4 HR, 8 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The Raccoons got six starts from six different pitchers this week, none of whom was Nick Walla, and two of whom weren’t on the roster on Monday and were not likely to be on the roster this coming Monday – that’s how it’s been going. Walla and Morales both had a start wiped out for extra-inning work after a general bullpen collapse, and by the way, we went 3-3 somehow because the Condors might be even more cursed than we are.

Archuleta is back to the DL and if we continue to play Hills somewhat regularly, then maybe Duhe will play more at second base in the next six weeks, since that is his best position with the glove, while Hills has played shortstop for many years in the minors.

Nick Walla will resume to start the team’s next game in Atlanta on Tuesday, then well rested. I have no idea what we’re gonna do apart from that and in general I am very tired right now. We’ll be on the road for a week, visiting the Bay besides Atlanta. We’ll then have another week home before the schedule becomes more erratic again.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons have already used eight different starting pitchers and 18 pitchers in total.

And four of those eight starters have also made relief appearance(s): Walla, Rated-R, Morales, and Gabriel Rios.

(shakes head)

+++

This six-game week took four hours to play. Which is absurd.

[Westheim]

2068 DRAFT POOL ANALYSIS

(looks back and forth between new scout Oscar Semchez and the draft report on the desk in front of him)

Really?

(looks back and forth)

That’s all?

(Semchez shrugs and leaves)

Oh well. You may recall that the Raccoons ended up with five top 50(-ish) picks for the 2068 draft. We might just as well not have any, because the draft pool was a disaster and I was currently hoping for a pitch black hole to open right under me and swallow me whole with ears and whiskers.

While there were 112 players on the shortlist (including a few two-way examples, only one of whom was actually interesting), the problem was with the hotlist. There was … not a lot of hot stuff available. Like, at all. Can we even make it ten? Ten is not a lot? But can we even make it so many that I can at least for our rather painfully acquired #6 pick say, yes, that is a guy that I am happy to select??

The shambolic hotlist (*high school dolt):

SP Kody Carr (12/13/12) – BNN #9
SP Kevin Schure (12/13/11) – BNN #7
SP Jonathan Martello (11/13/14)

CL Noah Newhard (17/11/10)

1B Oscar Gaitan (10/13/13) *
1B Michael Kiger (11/11/13) – BNN #3

OF/1B Ryan Redding (19/17/9) * – BNN #2
OF Eduardo Zambrano (12/19/15) * – BNN #8
OF Kyle Markovich (9/13/12) – BNN #1
OF/2B Walter Richmond (7/12/7) * – BNN #5

The last two were scouted really badly by Semchez, but they had stats, and the backing of both OSA and BNN that made them at least interesting.

We should perhaps mention the one two-way guy I found worth of a pawful of words, who was corner infielder Jaquan Riggs, who not only had a firm arm for a third baseman, but could also twirl a changeup and a cutter; on the other paw he was described as “too stupid to breathe” and “the type of person to stick a lit firecracker up his butt for giggles”.

Definitely a good #6 pick.

Yes. Most dystopian hotlist ever. Like, do I really have to travel to New York for THAT ****?? – Maud, I know that I’ll have all the time in the world to travel to New York because the Raccoons will be in Elk City at the time, but you are really not helping my argument. – Well, maybe I *want* to sound like a whiny *** *****…!!

****. Shoulda signed Brenize and not given a damn.

Woulda coulda shoulda.