Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Westheim]

I said a couple years ago that I'd like to get to 100 seasons and then whatever. But we're almost there, and I still don't know what to do with my life other than playing with the Raccoons. Guess we're stuck here for the time being...!

[Westheim]

Katz began a rehab assignment to AAA on Monday. Once more and with passion!

All Star Game

L.A.’s John Miller hit a home run of the Raccoons’ sole representative at the 2072 All Star Game, Nick Walla, to hang Walla with the L in the 5-3 Federal League win. Walla pitched second for the CL after starter Adam Lunn and gave up the first and deciding run of the game.

MVP honors went to Washington’s Armando Curiel for a 2-for-4 appearance, hitting a home run and driving in two runs.

Trade

The Raccoons made a trade on Wednesday in a bid to put their #1 farm system to use and traded C Gabe Rivas (.255, 3 HR, 15 RBI) and #53 prospect AA SP Roberto Martinez to the Miners for C/1B Jonathan Contreras (.275, 6 HR, 43 RBI) and right-handed MR Chad Brown (4-3, 2.95 ERA, 3 SV), as well as $1M in cash.

Contreras would probably not have any problems establishing dominance as the #1 catcher on the team now, while the Coons optioned Steve George – no fifth starter was needed until ten days from now – and would go with an extra man in the pen for the time being.

Raccoons (50-39) vs. Canadiens (39-51) – July 14-17, 2072

The last-place Elks got another chance to trip up the Critters after the All Star Game after splitting a 4-game series last week. They ranked fourth in runs scored and eleventh in runs allowed. John Bustillos and backup outfielders Steve Roda and Brandon Barber were on the DL at this point. We led the season series, 5-3.

Projected matchups:
Tony Gaytan (4-6, 4.07 ERA) vs. Adam McDonald (6-5, 3.68 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (8-6, 4.08 ERA) vs. Jay Williams (12-3, 2.44 ERA)
Nick Walla (9-2, 3.26 ERA) vs. Guido Branco (4-12, 4.89 ERA)
Crispino D’Urso (7-5, 3.58 ERA) vs. Mario Rivera (0-0)

Still only right-handers in that rotation! Including the 28-year-old call-up Rivera, who made 16 starts across the last two seasons with rather mixed success.

Game 1
VAN: 1B Eaves – 2B Ratliff – RF Dille – SS Palominos – CF D. Moore – 3B Barraza – LF Kiblin – C D. Johnson – P McDonald
POR: 2B Yocum – CF LeVan – LF Hamel – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C Contreras – 3B Gonzales – SS McFarland – P Gaytan

After Tyler Eaves singled on a 2-2 pitch and Andy Ratliff popped out at 3-0, and Kevin Dille hit into a double play, the Raccoons were a bit more efficient and considerate about everybody’s time and started the bottom 1st with a pair of singles and Hamel’s RBI double. V.D. walked, and then runs scored individually on a wild pitch, Woodley grounding out, and Contreras’ sac fly in his first plate appearance as a Critter – right away an RBI! How blessed we were now! That made for a 4-0 lead after the first inning. And letting Gaytan back near the baseball made it 4-3 in the second inning after he gave up two singles and a booming 3-run homer to David Johnson; and three more singles by Eaves, Ratliff, and Jose Palominos tied the game in the third inning. Brilliant.

Phil LeVan’s home run in the bottom 3rd gave the Coons the lead back, but Gaytan would blow that one was well through a pinch-hit solo homer by Angel Hernandes to begin the fifth inning. He then put Eaves on base and was yanked. McMahan was no real help, allowed an RBI single to Dille and then walked Palominos, and then left it to Newhard to sort the mess out by a double play grounder from Dan Moore, but the damn Elks now had a 6-5 lead.

Newhard pitched another full inning and Chad Brown made his Coons debut with a scoreless seventh while the Coons’ offense tried to reboot. Contreras hit a double at this point, but quickly realized that he was the only hitter on the team now. McFarland got a leadoff single off Brian Brillhart in the bottom 7th and advanced on Morentin’s groundout. Yocum hit a scratch single, but the lead runner had to hold at third base, but got home from there to tie the game on a sac fly by LeVan. Yocum was then caught stealing to end the inning, all even at six after seven.

One way to break a tie was of course giving up another homer, which Pedro Valentin achieved excellently in the eighth inning, being taken deep by Palominos for a solo shot. The Raccoons got singles from Morales in the eighth inning and Morentin in the ninth… but neither runner made it around to score, and the game ended on Danny Nava striking out Yocum with Morentin on first. 7-6 Canadiens. Yocum 2-5; LeVan 2-3, HR, 2 RBI;

(looks much dismayed)

Katz returned on Friday and Ramon Mata (.241, 0 HR, 6 RBI) was sent back to AAA.

Game 2
VAN: 3B Barraza – CF D. Moore – C D. Johnson – SS Palominos – 1B Eaves – RF Craig – 2B Terrazas – LF Dille – P J. Williams
POR: 2B Yocum – CF LeVan – SS Katzman – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C Contreras – 3B Gonzales – LF Morentin – P Wharton

Roberto Barraza, who spent the entire opener without doing anything worth mentioning, drew a four-pitch walk to begin the Friday game, stole second, and got singled home by Moore. Jimmy then struck out the next three, and three more the rest of the way the first time through the stinkin’ Elks’ order, while the Coons scattered three hits *and* Jimmy got hit by Williams, but they couldn’t even touch third base. Barraza, the ******* vile piece, then hit a single to center in the top 3rd, tried to score from first on Moore’s double to left, but was thrown out by Morentin at the plate … and then Johnson hit a homer to make it 3-0 anyway. Wharton walked Palominos, and then Craig to open the fourth inning, then gave up another 2-piece to Juan Terrazas.

Vinny Morales got sent in for long relief in the fifth inning, and was no worse than Jimmyboy, walking Eaves and giving up a 2-run homer immediately after to Craig to inflate the score further to 7-0. Dilling Drille and giving up another bushel of singles to Barraza and Johnson meant the Elks scored their fourth consecutive 2-spot in the sixth inning, but then they slumped to just one off Morales in the seventh on 2-out doubles by Terrazas and Dille. Williams struck out, keeping it a 10-0 game. Katz then began to eat into the lead with an RBI double to score LeVan in the bottom 7th, but was swiftly left on base, and Dan Moore then hit another homer off Valentin in the following half-inning. The Elks then failed to score in the ninth after putting numbers on the board for SIX CONSECUTIVE FRAMES. All hail Gabriel Rios. ******* **********. 11-1 Canadiens. LeVan 2-4; Katzman 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; V.D. Morales 2-4; van Otterdijk (PH) 1-1;

(peppers an empty bottle of Capt’n Coma against the wall, where it shatters into a thousand pieces)

Game 3
VAN: 3B Terrazas – 2B Ratliff – RF Dille – SS Palominos – CF D. Moore – LF Hernandes – 1B Eaves – C D. Johnson – P Branco
POR: 2B Yocum – CF LeVan – SS Katzman – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – LF Hamel – 3B Gonzales – C S. Brown – P Walla

Straight hits by the 2-3-4 batters gave the Elks a 1-0 lead in the first inning, although the Raccoons managed to scratch that one back when Yocum and LeVan went to the corners right away and then we heroically got a sac fly… from Morales after Katz had already whiffed, and Woodley left the second runner on base. Before long there was a 25-minute rain delay, and then Palominos doubled home Dille for a new 2-1 Elks lead in the third inning as Walla seemed to have little to nothing. He staggered onwards, but gave up another run in the fifth inning on a Terrazas triple and Dille’s sac fly, after Ratliff had popped out. With the rest of the Raccoons ding-donging around for no major gains, Sam Brown hit a leadoff jack in the bottom 5th, outta right, his first home run on the season. Yocum hit a single in the inning, but was forced out and nothing happened, and Morales got on base to begin the bottom 6th, but then got doubled up by Woodley.

Walla struck out the side (including Branco) in his seventh and final inning, then saw Edgar Gonzales reach with a leadoff single in the bottom 7th … and being caught stealing. And THEN Brown hit another homer to right!? That one tied the game and took Walla off the hook, but didn’t give him a lead, and he had to settle for a no-decision.

McMahan then got two outs and Rismiller got four to get through regulation, while the Elks had Jason Stine retire the Portland Browns’ 2-3-4 batters in the bottom 8th. Danny Nava then faced them in the bottom 9th and walked Woodley, who’d be run for by McFarland, carrying the winning run. The runner stole second, then got to third on Hamel’s groundout. Gonzales got an intentional walk, bringing “Home Run” Brown back to the dish … and Nava walked him, too. Contreras then batted for Rismiller, but was already assimilated and struck out; however, Yocum had mercy and singled to right to end the ******* ballgame. 4-3 Blighters. Yocum 3-5, 2B, RBI; V.D. Morales 1-2, BB, RBI; S. Brown 3-3, BB, 2 HR, 2 RBI; Walla 7.0 IP, 7 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 1 BB, 8 K;

Game 4
VAN: 3B Terrazas – 2B Ratliff – RF Dille – SS Palominos – CF D. Moore – LF Hernandes – 1B Eaves – C D. Johnson – P M. Rivera
POR: 2B Yocum – CF LeVan – SS Katzman – 1B Woodley – LF Hamel – C Contreras – RF van Otterdijk – 3B Luebbert – P D’Urso

D’Urso gave up all of walks, long fly balls, and many many singles; Hamel already scratched a Palominos drive off the top of the fence in the first, but there was no catching Moore’s homer leading off the second inning. When the Raccoons made up the run in the bottom 2nd on a Woodley double and a 2-base throwing error by Terrazas, Crispy Bear quickly got beaten around for three singles and another go-ahead run in the third. The Coons hit into a double play in the third, and Katz got on base and was picked off in the fourth. Contreras and the Otter then began the bottom 5th with singles, and the .195 batter Luebbert, who at some point I’d remember no longer had Rule 5 status, singled to center to load the bases for… the pitcher. Tempted to pinch-hit for Crispy Bear, the Critters didn’t … and he took a ball to left-center for his first major league RBI’s on a 2-run double…!! That flipped the score on Rivera, 3-2, and the Raccoons added on with Yocum’s sac fly, and a 2-out RBI single by Woodley after LeVan popped out and Katz drew a walk. Jack Hamel raked a 3-run homer in an 0-2 count to open the score to 8-2, and chase Rivera from the game.

D'Urso only threw 12 pitches with the lead, all ****, and gave up a single to Moore, a stolen base, and a 1-out run on a wild pitch before Eaves doubled and knocked him out. Chad Brown came in, gave up a single to Johnson, but the runner on third had to hold on Craig’s comebacker for a 3-1 out, and then returned to the dugout once Terrazas punched a strikeout. The Coons got that run back against Juan Rosado in the bottom 6th , who gave up a single to van Otterdijk, and then an RBI double to Luebbert. Yocum also got on and stole second, but the pair was then stranded in scoring position. This was the last run in the game; Rios would get four outs and Jackson got five for the Critters to finish out the game and we had another 2-2 split against the damn Elks. 9-3 Raccoons. Yocum 2-4, RBI; Woodley 2-4, 2B, RBI; Contreras 2-4; van Otterdijk 2-4; Luebbert 3-4, 2 2B, RBI;

In other news

July 11 – The Wolves send OF Chris Bauer (.284, 5 HR, 40 RBI) to Washington for veteran pitcher Angel Alba (1-0, 3.25 ERA, 2 SV) and a prospect.
July 11 – Vancouver acquires veteran C David Johnson (.263, 11 HR, 46 RBI) from the Warriors for left-handers Paul Wolk (0-3, 3.73 ERA, 2 SV) and Guillermo Arzola (0-1, 3.63 ERA, 1 SV).
July 14 – Loggers 2B/SS Fidel Carrera (.291, 15 HR, 55 RBI) is expected to miss six weeks with a strained hamstring.
July 15 – TOP SP Alfredo Picun (7-9, 3.90 ERA) spins a 3-hit shutout to beat the Blue Sox, 11-0.
July 16 – In a stunning move, the Loggers trade INF Sean Van Leeuwen (.292, 3 HR, 24 RBI) to the Stars for INF Brian Hills (.272, 3 HR, 40 RBI) and #52 prospect SP Nick Ormond.
July 17 – DAL SP Ian Peters (2-9, 7.19 ERA) finds a 2-hit shutout of the Scorpions in his arm. The Stars win 5-0.

Player of the Week (FL): SFW OF Jordan Lopez (.313, 16 HR, 53 RBI), batting .474 (9-19) with 2 HR, 6 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): NYC OF Tony Griffin (.268, 8 HR, 52 RBI), hitting .583 (7-12) with 1 HR, 4 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Sam Brown tripled his career home run total on Saturday, going from one to three in his 209th major league game.

I am not happy with this split against the Elks. I am not happy with any game against the Elks that’s not a 10-run blowout. – (looks with dismay at Cristiano and his snarky remark) – Not THAT kind of 10-run blowout!!!

Humph is gonna go on rehab next week. Might we actually get the top of the lineup together for the first time since the birth of the universe!?

The Raccoons have given up on Felipe Salinas after taking on more salary in the trade on Wednesday.

Another six home games after an off day on Monday, hosting the Loggers and Aces. So far no plans for how to get a fifth starter on the roster that doesn’t involve releasing pitchers with ERA’s over six.

Fun Fact: Pedro Valentin (31 IP) has given up eight home runs this year.

Nick Walla (125.2 IP) has also given up eight home runs.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (52-41) vs. Loggers (51-42) – July 19-21, 2072

The chasers dueled in a 3-game set starting on Tuesday, while the Indians and Crusaders would play head-to-head for the division lead at the same time. The Coons were bracing for another horrible experience against the league’s #1 offense, surely unable to lay paws on the second-worst pitching. The Loggers had a +49 run differential (Coons: +4), and a 5-4 lead in the season series.

The Loggers had splurged prospects on Monday to acquire Boston ace Mike Bell (8-6, 2.90 ERA), on an expiring contract no less, including #12 prospect SP Danny Ramirez. Bell had pitched on Sunday, however, and would not be able to face the Raccoons in this series. The Loggers then further scooped up Falcons outfielder Eddie Mullen (.264, 4 HR, 46 RBI) on Tuesday morning, dealing ancient Eric Frasher (.254, 4 HR, 11 RBI) to Charlotte.

Projected matchups:
Tony Gaytan (4-6, 4.33 ERA) vs. Kevin Bennett (7-5, 2.66 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (8-7, 4.32 ERA) vs. Matt Crist (10-6, 4.16 ERA)
Nick Walla (9-2, 3.29 ERA) vs. Colt Long (10-4, 3.80 ERA)

Bennett and Long were the first southpaw starters the Coons would face *this month*; the previous southpaw starter to face them had been Indy’s Pablo Apodaca on June 30.

Game 1
MIL: 1B C. Ramirez – 3B Sowards – RF C. Dominguez – C M. Rodriguez – LF Frank – SS Hills – CF Mullen – 2B Vic. Morales – P Bennett
POR: 2B Yocum – CF Hamel – SS Katzman – 1B V.D. Morales – C Contreras – 3B Gonzales – RF van Otterdijk – LF Morentin – P Gaytan

Cesar Ramirez (22 HR!!) and Carlos Dominguez reached base on a walk and single, respectively in the first inning, but Gaytan also struck out a couple and kept the Loggers from scoring before a Hamel single and back-to-back bombs by Katz and Victor David Morales gave him a 3-0 lead in the bottom 1st. That one needed bobbling, urgently, and so ex-Coons Brian Hills and Victor “Vic” (Hugo) Morales put singles together for a second-inning run in reply. Gaytan’s pitch count then exploded with lots of long counts in the third inning, and also another run as Hills drove in Dominguez, who had walked, hitting back-to-back singles with Ken Frank. Mullen then struck out, but the lead was already down to 3-2 and we were heading surely for another 11-run slapping.

Katz hit a leadoff double off the wall in the third, and the Otter singled through the left side in the fourth, but neither even got to third base with a lack of support from the lineup, while Gaytan also piled up nine strikeouts through five innings, but ran his pitch count to 90. He then threw just eight pitches in the sixth, despite a Mullen single, and got through that as well, then gave up a leadoff single to Ramirez in the seventh before notching a final K against Jesse Sowards. Rios then got around Dominguez and Manuel Rodriguez (kinda, walking him), before ringing up Frank on strikes to bring on the stretch, still in a 3-2 game.

Bennett was still going, but also wouldn’t finish seven. McFarland batted and singled in the pitcher’s spot to begin the bottom 7th, and Hamel hit another single. Katz then *smashed* a 3-run homer to left, 6-2, and that was the end of Kevin Bennett. The eighth was reasonably calm, Pedro Valentin getting a scoreless inning for a base hit by Vic Morales, and the ninth went to Chad Brown and also not so well. Ramirez hit a leadoff jack, after which Brown engorged himself on long counts and put Dominguez on base with a full count walk, and then Frank doubled home the runner. With the tying run at the dish, McMahan came in to face the lefty-hitting Hills, but got catcher David Pavlacka instead, who grounded out to short. 6-4 Coons. Hamel 2-4; Katzman 3-4, 2 HR, 2B, 5 RBI; V.D. Morales 2-4, HR, RBI; van Otterdijk 2-3; McFarland (PH) 1-1; Gaytan 6.1 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 10 K, W (5-6);

New York’s Raul Ledesma gave the Crusaders a second-consecutive win against Indy with a come-from-behind walkoff homer in the ninth inning on that day.

Game 2
MIL: CF Mullen – 1B Metcalf – RF C. Dominguez – C M. Rodriguez – LF C. Ramirez – 3B Sowards – 2B Vic. Morales – SS Hills – P Crist
POR: 2B Yocum – CF LeVan – SS Katzman – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – LF Hamel – 3B Gonzales – C S. Brown – P Wharton

Jimmy Wharton nearly gave up a homer to the leadoff man Mullen on Wednesday, but the ball was caught at the fence by V.D., and Jimmyboy then instead retired the first ten Loggers in a row, whiffing four… before giving up a homer to Travis Metcalf instead. That one tied the game in the fourth, erasing a 1-0 lead from a Hamel single and Gonzales’ RBI double in the second – pretty much the extent of the Coons’ offense so far. Rodriguez and Ramirez then hit singles to get to the corners, but were stranded with a K to Sowards; and Jimmy struck out the side in fifth inning, getting to 8 K for the day on just 66 pitches. He rung up Metcalf and Dominguez in the sixth to get to double digits.

The Coons retook the lead in the bottom 5th when Yocum got on base by walking, stole second, and scored on groundouts by LeVan and Katz. The following inning, the Coons added two runs in wicked fashion, beginning with a Woodley single to right. Hamel flew out, but Gonzales singled and the lead runner went to second base. Brown then shoved a hit through a diving Sowards, and up the line for a double. Woodley got around to score, and Gonzales was sent to the plate, but thrown out by Ramirez, while behind him Brown attempted third base after the throw went through. Rodriguez peppered it up the line again, but this was the second time that ball got through Sowards in some seven seconds, and this time Brown jumped up and scampered home on the throwing error, 4-1 tally on a 7-2-E2 play. Jimmy then grounded out with the bags empty, and struck out Sowards for good measure to end a clean and quick seventh inning. Woodley blasted a 2-out, 3-run homer to put Crist away in the home half of the seventh, while Jimmy added Vic Morales and PH Ken Frank to a tally of 13 strikeouts in the eighth inning, but was now over 100 pitches. He did enter the ninth inning, though, popping out Mullen behind the plate for the first out. Metcalf ran a full count before fanning on Jimmy’s 110th pitch, but Dominguez singled to center on the next. Jimmy remained in to face Rodriguez, probably his last batter – and struck him out!! 7-1 Furballs!! Woodley 3-4, HR, 3 RBI; Gonzales 2-4, 2B, RBI; Wharton 9.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 15 K, W (9-7);

15 strikeouts!! Holy fuzzball!!

The Crusaders completed a sweep of the Indians for first place on Wednesday.

Game 3
MIL: 1B C. Ramirez – 3B Sowards – RF C. Dominguez – C M. Rodriguez – LF Frank – SS Hills – CF Mullen – 2B Fish – P C. Long
POR: 2B Yocum – CF Hamel – SS Katzman – 1B V.D. Morales – C Contreras – 3B Gonzales – RF van Otterdijk – LF Morentin – P Walla

Different game on Thursday, as Nick Walla struck out one batter the first time through, got around a Cesar Ramirez single to begin the game when Dominguez forced out the runner and then was caught stealing, but gave up a single to Jon Fish in the third and then a homer to Ramirez to fall 2-0 behind. Rodriguez added a solo homer in the fourth inning, while the Coons so far had mostly hit into double plays, but got V.D. and Contreras on base through hits, and then Gonzales when Fish misfiled his double play grounder for an error to load the bags for the Otter in the bottom 4th. Van Otterdijk popped out to shallow center for no gains, but Jesus Morentin snuck a 2-out, 2-run single through the left side to narrow down the score on the board. Walla whiffed to leave runners on the corners, and Yocum reached on Sowards’ error to begin the bottom 5th, but never made it off first base through three poor outs by the 2-3-4 batters.

Walla didn’t have enough to retire either Ramirez (who singled again the third time through) or Dominguez without defensive heroics and/or divine intervention, and then was removed for a pinch-hitter (Woodley) when his spot came up in the bottom 6th with Gonzales on second, Morentin on first, and two outs. The move didn’t work, as Woodley grounded out to Hills, and the Coons remained 3-2 behind.

Rios handled the 6-7-8 batters in the seventh, while the Loggers also replaced Long with righty Danny Mendoza, who got two outs to begin the bottom 7th, but then walked Katz and gave up a scratch single to V.D. Morales. Contreras fell to 0-2 before striking a ball to deep left and into the corner for a score-flipping, Walla-unhooking, 2-out, 2-strike, 2-run double…! GIMME MORE ADJECTIVES!! … Gonzales grounded out, and Rios got Vic Morales and Ramirez in the top 8th before Newhard replaced him for a K on the unlucky Sowards. Sam Brown pinch-hit for Newhard, reached on an error, and was left stranded in the Coons’ half of the eighth inning before the 4-3 lead went to Rismiller against the 3-4-5 batters, who were worth 51 homers, and of whom he retired exactly none, giving up a single to Dominguez and then walking the bags full. Cam Jackson inherited that mess, struck out PH Travis Metcalf, but gave up a sac fly to center to Mullen to tie the game, then struck out Fish to leave two on.

Katz hit a single and was left at second in the bottom 9th, and the game went to extras. Cam Jackson remained on the bump in the tenth and had Vic Morales out, but gave up a single to the unretireable Ramirez. Sowards flew out to deep center, but Morentin hurt himself on a diving grab and had to leave the game. Thankfully, non-hitting super utility Nick Luebbert was still available to fill in. Dominguez grounded out to Jackson to end the inning. Luebbert then singled with two outs in the bottom 10th, making the Coons use their last pinch-hitter, McFarland, and for nothing, since Luebbert in his infinite wisdom was then picked off first base by Omar Vences to end the inning, and the pitcher had to go back in the #9 spot, so McFarland had been burned for ****.

We ended up with Vinny Morales in long relief then, although the Loggers started hitting rockets, so “long” was perhaps more a technical term here. Frank smashed a 1-out double in the 11th, but was left on base after two sharp groundouts to Gonzales by both Jonathan Wright and Eddie Mullen. Vinny had to bat leadoff in the bottom of the inning, leading to another big zero on the scoreboard, then unavoidably gave up a 2-out homer to Ramirez in the top 12th to break the tie. Former Critter Justin Cullum in his second inning faced the 3-4-5 batters in the bottom of the 12th. Katz shanked a double to left to lead off, but Morales and Contreras hit ****** pop fly outs, and Gonzales rolled one back to Cullum for the final out. 5-4 Loggers. Katzman 3-4, 2 BB, 2B; Contreras 3-6, 2B, 2 RBI; Luebbert 1-1; Jackson 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Not having a closer sorta sucks!

Just like having Cesar Ramirez (.361, 25 HR, 59 RBI) batting 5-for-6 with a couple o’ dingers for the other team.

Jesus Morentin (.352, 1 HR, 8 RBI) broke a rib and went to the DL for probably the rest of this and all of next month. Humph was in rehab right now, but we wanted to give him another day or two, and instead called up defensively awful corner outfielder Dave Falquez, who had missed a shot at a September call-up last year for being hurt, and was now trying to transition to first base, with ghastly reviews.

Raccoons (54-42) vs. Aces (53-43) – July 22-24, 2072

Last year’s CLCS foes both sat some games out in their divisions before this weekend series, with Vegas holding a 2-1 lead from the first meeting of the year. They ranked second in offense (whee!), and pitching, for a +83 run differential. The rotation was decent, but the pen was sturdy, and they led the league with 100 stolen bases.

Projected matchups:
Crispino D’Urso (8-5, 3.66 ERA) vs. Harrison Bucci (9-5, 3.31 ERA)
TBD vs. John Santamaria (3-9, 4.27 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (5-6, 4.25 ERA) vs. Luis Ortiz (10-5, 5.01 ERA)

No clue who pitches on Saturday. Best bet was probably Val Centeno (1-0, 7.20 ERA) in AAA. Meanwhile, the Aces threw another two left-handed pitchers at us, while offering a right-hander on Sunday.

Game 1
LVA: 2B J. Williams – 1B A. Jones – C Haynes – CF Phelps – SS Hatakeyama – 3B Rodewald – RF Harmsen – LF McGrew – P Bucci
POR: 2B Yocum – RF Hamel – SS Katzman – 1B V.D. Morales – C Contreras – 3B Gonzales – LF van Otterdijk – CF LeVan – P D’Urso

The pitching situation might yet get worse due to mucky weather on Friday, and rain threatening from the start. Crispy Bear didn’t help himself *or* the team by running lots of long counts and walking John Harmsen and Luke McGrew in the third inning before an out was made. Bucci bunted, but Jimmy Williams struck out and Adam Jones’ did so as well, flailing through ball four in another full count. The Coons were rather calm in the early going, but got Katz and V.D. on base in the bottom 4th and snuck extra bases with a double steal before Contreras hit another go-ahead, 2-run knock to right. The Coons then stranded their catcher (and the Otter, who got an intentional walk), then left the bases loaded in the fifth when Yocum singled and stole second, and Bucci walked the bags full with Katz and V.D., but Contreras popped out.

But Crispy Bear wiggled himself through seven innings of constant long counts, giving up just one base hit to Matt Rodewald, and held the 2-0 line, but was expended after that. His spot led off the bottom 7th and Falquez made his ABL debut as pinch-hitter, grounding out as Bucci went 1-2-3 on the Critters. Chad Brown then held the line in the eighth inning before the Coons went to Rismiller *again* in the ninth. Josh Phelps hit a single in the inning, but apart from that the Aces made enough quick outs to get the teams to the clubhouse about ten minutes before the storm broke over the ballpark. 2-0 Critters. V.D. Morales 2-3, BB; Contreras 1-4, 2 RBI; D’Urso 7.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 4 K, W (9-5);

Falquez returned to AAA after going 0-for-1 in this game and was replaced with Val Centeno for that spot start. The plan now was for Humph to then return on Sunday at Centeno’s expense.

Game 2
LVA: 2B J. Williams – 1B A. Jones – C Haynes – CF Phelps – SS Hatakeyama – 3B Rodewald – RF Lawyer – LF McGrew – P Santamaria
POR: 2B Yocum – RF Hamel – 3B Katzman – 1B V.D. Morales – C Contreras – LF van Otterdijk – CF LeVan – SS McFarland – P Centeno

Centeno had a … start to the game, getting a clean first before leaking a single and a walk to Koji Hatakeyama and Rodewald, respectively, in the second, but no runs. Santamaria led off the third inning and shoved a triple into the rightfield corner – and didn’t score. Williams popped out, Jones grounded out to third, and Chris Haynes grounded out to short. The Coons had only two singles in the early innings; Morales was doubled up by Contreras, and McFarland was bunted to second by Centeno in the bottom 3rd, and then left there.

Centeno appeared to run out of wits in the fourth inning, running a 3-0 count against Josh Phelps leading off before Phelps poked… and reached on an infield single. Centeno then walked the bags full with the next two hitters, then got a comebacker from Jay Lawyer that he took to home plate, keeping the Aces off the board for the moment. That was as good as it got for him; Luke McGrew got 3-1 ahead and then sliced a bases-clearing triple, Santamaria banged an RBI double, and van Otterdijk then took two fly balls on the warning track to end the inning. He was done after five innings and would return to St. Pete with the same 7.20 ERA he arrived with.

Up 4-0, Santamaria then walked Contreras and the Otter to begin the bottom 5th. LeVan flew out, but McFarland slapped an RBI double to left-center to get the Critters on the board. Woodley batted for Centeno and grounded out, plating a run, 4-2, but Yocum fanned to leave McFarland at third base. Valentin then pitched a shoddy inning, giving up a single to Santamaria, who was by that point a home run away from hitting for the ******* cycle.

The tying runs were on when Hamel and Katz slapped singles to begin the bottom 6th, but the next three batters popped out, struck out, and grounded out, leading to no runs for the brown team. Santamaria kept pitching, but was denied the cycle when McMahan made him ground out in the top 8th. Chris Derrick then took the ball from him in the ninth inning against the 4-5-6 batters. Contreras’ 1-out double brought the tying run to the plate, but McGrew shagged the Otter’s liner to left. LeVan slapped a soft single to center, and Contreras was held at third base. Sam Brown batted for McFarland, but grounded out to first to end the game. 4-2 Aces. McFarland 2-3, 2B, RBI;

Hey, Humph!

Yocum was in a slump and got the day off on Sunday, while Pedro Valentin had a cold and was day-to-day.

Game 3
LVA: 2B J. Williams – 1B A. Jones – C Haynes – CF Phelps – SS Hatakeyama – 3B Rodewald – RF Lawyer – LF McGrew – P L. Ortiz
POR: LF Humphries – CF LeVan – SS Katzman – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – 3B Gonzales – C S. Brown – 2B Luebbert – P Gaytan

Contact off Gaytan was immediate, loud, and plenty, and the Aces hit three singles the first time through, all sharp, but the fly balls to the outfield were all caught (so far…) and they didn’t score. Yet. The writing was definitely on the wall, but Jimmy Williams’ leadoff single that didn’t actually make it out of the infield grass in the third inning was followed by two force outs at second and the runner being stranded at first. A leadoff walk to Hatakeyama and then a single by Rodewald put runners on the corners with nobody out in the fourth, and now surely the levee would break! But it didn’t, as Lawyer fanned (Gaytan’s first K in the game), McGrew popped out, and Ortiz also whiffed. Haynes nearly homered in the fifth, but had the ball picked by LeVan on the warning track in dead center.

The Raccoons had one measly hit in four innings, then put the battery on the corners with singles in the bottom 5th, bringing up Humph with one out. He struck out, though, and LeVan lined out to Williams, so the whole act was for nothing. Gaytan survived another leadoff single by Phelps in the sixth and got to the stretch in a scoreless game, was still denied run support, then got through one more inning and around another Phelps single and stolen base in the eighth, and still got out of the game without allowing a run. Hamel pinch-hit for him and grounded out in the bottom 8th, but righty reliever Daniel Richmond then walked the bags full with the 1-2-3 batters. V.D. FINALLY had mercy on the fans and hit a single through the right side to drive in two runs, Woodley filled the bases again with another single to right, and Yocum batted for a hitless Gonzales and drew another walk from Richmond to force Katz across the plate, 3-0. Brad “Fails” Fales replaced Richmond and got a double play grounder from Brown to clean up.

The Coons then tried to get the save from McMahan, who retired the 7-8 batters before giving up a homer to third baseman Sergio Rubio. Williams then singled, and Joe Jackson batted for the left-handed Jones, so Cam Jackson came in to give up the inevitable game-tying homer. (bangs head against door frame repeatedly) Haynes’ groundout brought the Coons back to the dish, but Luebbert, Hamel (who had remained in the game over Morales), and Humph made straight outs to send the game to overtime. Jackson did the tenth, and then Vinny Morales was at it again, probably punching another L in “long” relief. The only long thing was the top of the 11th inning, which the Aces opened with three straight singles off Vinny and eventually scored four, capped by a Phelps homer. 7-3 Aces. V.D. Morales 2-4, 2 RBI; Woodley 2-5; Contreras (PH) 1-1; Gaytan 8.0 IP, 7 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 4 K and 1-2;

In other news

July 19 – ATL CL Ricardo Montoya (3-4, 3.82 ERA, 18 SV) suffers a season- and potentially career-ending rotator cuff injury, given that he was already 42 years old.
July 20 – The Aces acquire Thunder reliever Brad Fales (3-2, 5.77 ERA) for four prospects.
July 21 – VAN C David Johnson (.262, 14 HR, 55 RBI) shoots his 400th career home run, a 3-piece off BOS SP Angel Suarez (6-8, 6.14 ERA) to beat the Titans, 8-1. Johnson spent most of his career with the Blue Sox, hitting his first 249 homers for them, but his only home run title came with the Crusaders in ’67. For his career, he was hitting .280/.333/.471 with 2,361 hits, 400 bombs, 366 doubles, and 1,465 RBI.
July 22 – Warriors SP Alex Diez (11-6, 2.38 ERA) spins a 2-hit shutout to beat the Miners, 6-0.
July 22 – CIN OF Fernando Cruz (.260, 5 HR, 30 RBI) would miss two weeks with an intercostal strain.
July 23 – After having him just 64 games, the Thunder swap RF Austin Gordon (.287, 8 HR, 28 RBI) to the Blue Sox for four prospects, including #134 RF/LF Alex Santamaria and #137 INF Jason Linton.
July 23 – The Gold Sox beat the Buffaloes, 4-1 in 14 innings. The tie-breaker after seven frames of no countable offense is a leadoff home run by Italian rookie 1B Clement Bussotti (.341, 4 HR, 10 RBI).
July 24 – The Thunder not only get 3-hit by BOS SP Ruben Cabrera (1-1, 2.84 ERA), but also destroyed on offense by Boston in a 20-0 rout. Boston UT Carlos Fumero (.351, 4 HR, 51 RBI) rakes five hits with a double and three RBI, and 1B Hector Moreno (.307, 11 HR, 55 RBI) has five hits with a home run and four RBI. Every Boston player in the lineup has at least one hit, one run scored, and one run drive in, including Cabrera.
July 24 – MIL LF/RF Ken Frank (.252, 14 HR, 51 RBI) drives in six runs on four hits, missing the cycle by a triple in a 13-6 football score against the Knights.

Player of the Week (FL): SAL UT Tyrese Armstrong (.305, 7 HR, 71 RBI), clipping .571 (12-21) with 1 HR, 8 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): BOS UT Carlos Fumero (.351, 4 HR, 51 RBI), slapping .571 (16-28) with 1 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

This bullpen is gonna be the end of me.

We haven’t heard anything about Felipe Salinas this week, but since we didn’t make another offer it is safe to assume we’re out of it.

With the way the schedule was laid out, the Raccoons could get to August without having another spot starter, but then would need some sort of solution for the fifth slot in the rotation again.

The Flying Fireballs would take the show on the road now on a 3-city trip through San Francisco, Charlotte, and Atlanta. Off day on Thursday, conveniently, but then not another one until August 11, so two weeks from now we’d need a fifth starter, twice.

Fun Fact: David Johnson is the eighth batter in league history to reach 400 homers.

It’s not a power league. But anyway, here’s the career top 10:

1st – Eddie Moreno – 478
2nd – Ron Alston – 475
3rd – Danny Santillano – 457
4th – Raúl Vázquez – 416
5th – Ivan Villa – 414
6th – Gil Rockwell – 412
7th – Dan Morris – 408
8th – David Johnson – 400
9th – Zach Suggs – 396
10th – Tony Roman – 393

All are in the Hall of Fame, except for the last three. Johnson and Roman are still active, and Suggs retired after 2067 and has not been eligible for the HOF ballot just yet. Only 90 homers in these top 10 came in a Critters uniform; Ron Alston hit 71 in a 2 1/2-year stint in Portland in the late 2000s, and Gil Rockwell played his final season in brown, hitting 19 and thus also #400 while here.

You have to go down to *48th place* in the all-time leaderboard to find a player that hit the majority of his home runs for the Raccoons, and all the way back to somebody that played in the league’s inaugural season (but for the Buffos): Mark Dawson hit 304 dingers in his career, of which the last 231 came in a brown shirt.

Fun Fact (Bonus Round): Jimmy Wharton is the first ABL pitcher to strike out 15 batters in a game since Ben Seiter of the Crusaders did so on July 17, 2063.

Jimmy is also only the second pitcher not named Jonny Toner to put up 15 strikeouts in a game, the other being Tadasu Abe, Toner’s rotation mate in the late 2010s.

Portland Raccoons single-game strikeouts:

18 – Jonny Toner – October 2, 2016
17 – Jonny Toner – July 23, 2020
16 – Jonny Toner – May 1, 2015
16 – Jonny Toner – July 12, 2020
15 – Tadasu Abe – April 13, 2016
15 – Jonny Toner – May 12, 2017
15 – Jimmy Wharton – July 20, 2072

No Coons had whiffed even 14 batters since “Tragic” Travis Garrett in 2023, and the last time a Coon had struck out 13 had been in 2060, when the feat had been achieved four times in total by “Tipsy” Bobby Herrera (twice), Tyler Riddle, and Zach Stewart.

ABL single-game-strikeouts leaders:

18 – WAS Chris York – June 16, 2004
18 – POR Jonny Toner – October 2, 2016
17 – PIT Miguel Rodriguez – May 29, 2014
17 – LAP Brad Smith – October 5, 2016 (playoffs)
17 – POR Jonny Toner – July 23, 2020
16 – DAL Manny Ramos – April 23, 1997
16 – NAS Carlos Castro – August 29, 2003
16 – TIJ Kel Yates – August 17, 2005
16 – PIT Miguel Rodriguez – May 27, 2006
16 – CIN Jack Berry – April 25, 2008
16 – CIN Nathan O’Herlihy – August 15, 2008
16 – CIN Nathan O’Herlihy – May 17, 2011
16 – BOS Curtis Tobitt – August 16, 2012
16 – OCT Curtis Tobitt – April 18, 2014
16 – VAN Rod Taylor – September 15, 2014
16 – POR Jonny Toner – May 1, 2015
16 – NYC Jaylen Martin – October 8, 2015 (playoffs)
16 – POR Jonny Toner – July 12, 2020
16 – SFB Mark Roberts – September 2, 2020
16 – DAL Ray “Crabman” Walker – April 21, 2062

[Westheim]

Just a note: we've played four games of the following week, and now I am hung up on a trade for a slugger, unsure how many acres of farm I want to sell off. Trade deadline is on Sunday of this week.

Ah, analysis paralysis.

[DD Martin]

Originally Posted by Westheim

Just a note: we've played four games of the following week, and now I am hung up on a trade for a slugger, unsure how many acres of farm I want to sell off. Trade deadline is on Sunday of this week.

Ah, analysis paralysis.

Tough situation to make that call. Club is definitely in contention

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by DD Martin

Tough situation to make that call. Club is definitely in contention

This is the guy we're talking about, and he'll cost two to three ranked prospects.

[DD Martin]

Originally Posted by Westheim

This is the guy we're talking about, and he'll cost two to three ranked prospects.

Looks like a great young left hand bat,if he can stay healthy. He has a tag I don’t like to see and the Raccoons already have some frequently injured guys

[Westheim]

Raccoons (55-44) @ Bayhawks (47-51) – July 25-27, 2072

San Francisco ranked in the bottom four in both runs scored and runs allowed. They had speed and good defense, but apart from that there was not a lot going on with the roster. They had a -54 run differential. Oh, and a 2-1 lead in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Jimmy Wharton (9-7, 4.09 ERA) vs. Nick Waldron (4-8, 5.37 ERA)
Nick Walla (9-2, 3.35 ERA) vs. TBD
Crispino D’Urso (9-5, 3.41 ERA) vs. TBD

Nick Waldron was a right-hander. After that – who knew? The next scheduled starters were more right-handers, Liberio Ivo (6-7, 3.49 ERA) and Ryan Musgrave (8-8, 3.86 ERA), but one had a sore hammy and the other had a blister on the finger. I’m sure they’d find *somebody*. And the Coons wouldn’t hit them.

Game 1
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C Contreras – CF LeVan – 3B Gonzales – P Wharton
SFB: 2B M. Flores – SS Bruce – CF Redding – RF J. Ward – LF Haus – C H. Valdez – 3B Efird – 1B Bras – P Waldron

The Coons’ vaunted 1-2-3 batters were in the lineup together for FIVE SECONDS before Yocum doubled and had a hammy cramp up on him, leading him to limp off the field and being replaced by Luebbert. Someone …! (looks up to the baseball gods) Someone have mercy on me and strike me down with lightning, pleeeease…!!!

No lightning occurred, and the Raccoons turned misfortune into a 2-0 lead through Katz singling, an RBI groundout for Morales, and an RBI single by Woodley. Jimmy Wharton then took the hill for the first time since striking out *15* batters in his last start, and struck out one in the first inning, which was the pitcher. How does the pitcher bat in the first inning to begin with? Well, six singles and four runs can do the trick. Hugo Valdez also tore out a leg beating out an infield hit and was replaced with Brandon Ward.

Jimmy Wharton never sorted himself out. He struck out three… and allowed a total of eight runs in 3.2 innings. The last four all involved Brett Haus in some capacity, as he nailed Haus in the third inning, and Haus stole second and got around on productive outs; and in the fourth inning he failed Ryan Redding and Jake Ward on base, then gave up a 2-out, 2-run triple to Haus, and another RBI single to the other Ward. Rios and Hamel then replaced Wharton (whose spot led off the top 5th) and LeVan in a double switch. The game was of course in the bin, although Katz drove in Humph with a knock in the fifth, and Gonzales doubled home Contreras with a 2-out double for an unearned run in the sixth. But inserting Vinny Morales for the vain hope on non-migraine-inducing long relief was not the right move, and while Vinny finished pitching duties for this rancid game, he managed to give up another three runs across three innings on just 32 pitches. The Bayhawks sent their own useless rag to pitch in the ninth inning, Tony Castellanos, who loaded the bases and walked in a run against V.D., then surrendered another one on Woodley’s sac fly, but that still left the Coons five short when Contreras flew out to end the game. 11-6 Bayhawks. Yocum 1-1, 2B; Katzman 3-4, BB, RBI; Woodley 2-4, 2 RBI;

(face in paws)

Yocum was day-to-day with the cramped hammy. But I feared that Vinny’s condition of being a cramp in general was terminal.

The Bayhawks pitching situation became more mysterious when they sent 40-year-old Ryan Musgrave to the Rebels overnight, acquiring 30-year-old quad-A infielder Elijah Fountain (.214, 3 HR, 11 RBI) and a prospect.

Game 2
POR: LF Humphries – CF LeVan – SS Katzman – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – 3B Gonzales – C S. Brown – 2B McFarland – P Walla
SFB: 2B M. Flores – SS Bruce – CF Redding – RF J. Ward – C H. Valdez – 3B Fountain – LF B. Ward – 1B Bras – P Ivo

After 17 runs on Monday, the teams were content with processing a few quick innings to begin the middle game of the series. Walla wasn’t shining the stuff either, but held the Bayhawks to two singles the first time through, but Jake Ward led off the fourth inning with a double off the wall in right-center. He advanced on Valdez’ groundout, then was stranded on back-to-back lineouts to Gonzales by Fountain and Brandon Ward, which was certainly one way to do it. The Bayhawks got the leadoff man on again as Lodewijk Bras singled to right in the bottom 5th, but he’d also be stranded at third base in a scoreless game.

The Coons had only two hits in five innings, but Katz led off the sixth with a double to left-center for a chance. Ivo lost Morales on balls, but Woodley hit into a fielder’s choice at second and Gonzales into a double play altogether, and nobody ******* scored. Jake Ward was on base again for San Fran in the bottom 6th, and also ended up stranded at third base after a 1-out single, stolen base, and two groundouts.

Bottom 7th, and Bras hit a single to center, followed by a pinch-hit double to right hit by Haus. That put a pair in scoring position, but they were pinned there when Mario Flores grounded out to Gonzales for the second out. Walla Houdinied out of an inning once more with a K to Ryan Bruce, as the Bayhawks left the game’s first run on third base for the FOURTH straight inning, and that was also as far as he’d get in the game. Luis Lerma retired the 2-3-4 batters in order in the top 8th to lave him with another sodden no-decision. The Raccoons then sent Chad Brown in the bottom 8th for some Brown-on-Brown action in the battery, which sounded like a raunchy movie from the 2030s, and he got two outs before walking Valdez and allowing a single to Fountain, the two switch-hitters in there. McMahan came in for Lesser Ward, secured a groundout, and on to the ninth we went, still not reaching base. McMahan put his own pair of 2-out runners on base in the bottom 9th, which Rismiller resolved with a strikeout against Redding, sending a scoreless game to overtime.

McFarland led off the tenth with a single and stole second against righty Billy Thompson. Luebbert was hitting ninth after an earlier double switch and zinged a double to left to drive in the game’s first run. Humph walked, LeVan singled, and the bags were full for Katz, who hit a high fly to deep right, but it wasn’t long enough and caught on the track by Jake Ward, holding Katz to a sac fly. LeVan being caught stealing and V.D. popping out ended the inning; Rismiller remained in the game, and the former Rule 5er got two quick outs in the bottom 10th… and then Keith Ball singled, and Brandon Ward singled, and he walked Bras, and then he was yanked for Rios to face Willie Castillo, ending the game with a K. 2-0 Blighters. McFarland 2-4; Luebbert 1-1, 2B, RBI; Walla 7.0 IP, 7 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 4 K;

This was the first game this year in which Adam Yocum did not appear.

Right-hander Ryan Furlong (1-0, 3.76 ERA) made a spot start in the series finale, his first start of the season.

Game 3
POR: LF Humphries – CF LeVan – SS Katzman – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – 3B Gonzales – C Contreras – 2B McFarland – P D’Urso
SFB: 2B M. Flores – SS Bruce – CF Redding – RF J. Ward – LF Haus – C H. Valdez – 3B Fountain – 1B Bras – P Furlong

Furlong issued walks to Humph (who stole second) and V.D. in the first inning and conceded a run on Woodley’s RBI single before getting Gonzales out. Crispy Bear then got crisply beaten around in the first inning, doing a reverse-and-double like Wharton on Monday, giving up two runs on hits by Flores, Bruce, and Ward, all hard hit. The second inning was quieter, and the third saw a 1-out single from Katz and another walk to V.D. Morales. Woodley got another RBI knock, this one a 2-run triple into the corner, flipping the score around to 3-2 Portland! He didn’t get home on Gonzales’ poor grounder, but scored on Jonathan Contreras’ 2-out RBI single to make it a 4-2 game. Furlong didn’t fur any better, or last much longer after that, being knocked out in the fourth inning when LeVan doubled home Humph to extend the score to 5-2 before being stranded on base by right-hander Zack Powell.

Powell then started a 2-run rally in the bottom 5th, tripping up Crispy Bear with a 1-out single to right. Flores singled, Bruce walked, and with the bases loaded the Coons first couldn’t turn two on Redding’s grounder to short, then got nobody out on Ward’s infield roller on a 3-2 pitch with two outs, conceding a run on both plays. Haus was rung up to end the bottom 5th, but that was also the end to this shoddy start for Crispy.

The Raccoons’ skinny lead survived an inning of Pedro Valentin on the hill before V.D. extended it to 6-4 with a leadoff jack to right in the seventh. Flores hit a leadoff double that inning against Jackson, but the Coons’ right-hander struck out the next two and then got out on Ward’s fly to center. The Raccoons got a leadoff double from McFarland the next half-inning. The run scored when Bruce threw away Jack Hamel’s pinch-hit grounder for two bases, and the Coons then slowly walked the bags full until Woodley hit a 2-out, 2-run single to right-center to tack on. Luebbert batted for a hitless Gonzales and walked the bases full again, but Contreras flew out to center to keep it at 9-4. No more runs came together in the ninth despite a pinch-hit double by van Otterdijk, and McMahan had a scoreless eighth before Newhard was sent into the bottom 9th with a 5-run lead. Straight singles by Brandon Ward, Flores, and Bruce later, a run was in, the tying run was in the on-deck circle, and there was still nobody out. After Redding hit ANOTHER single to load the bases, the Coons hooked him for Chad Brown, who struck out Jake Ward, then gave up a bases-clearing double to Brett Haus, who was the tying run at second now. Valdez popped out, but Brown walked Fountain. A Bras single to right loaded the bases. The Coons angrily yanked another tosser from this bottom of the ninth and sent Rios against The Other Ward. He grounded out on the first pitch. 9-8 Coons. Van Otterdijk (PH) 1-1, 2B; LeVan 2-5, BB, 2B, RBI; Woodley 3-5, 3B, 5 RBI; Contreras 3-5, RBI;

Raccoons (57-45) @ Falcons (43-57) – July 29-31, 2072

This was the Raccoons’ last series with the fifth-place Falcons this year, and their first chance to go 9-0 on a CL South team for the first time since 2055, as the Portlanders had won all six games played so far against the Falcons this year. The Falcons sat eighth in both runs scored and runs allowed. They struggled in the rotation especially, and they were bottoms in home runs in the CL with just 37 dingers, a chunk of which was on the DL between Landon Collins, Carlos Mora, and Brad McLaughlin. Neither team had a double-digit dinger driver on the season, though, despite the month of July upon us.

Projected matchups:
Tony Gaytan (5-6, 3.97 ERA) vs. Joe Allen (6-11, 4.28 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (9-8, 4.52 ERA) vs. Dallas Samson (2-4, 4.33 ERA)
Nick Walla (9-2, 3.18 ERA) vs. Jack Moses (7-7, 4.92 ERA)

Allen was the only left-hander to oppose the Raccoons this week. Samson had spent a chunk of the season in the bullpen.

Game 1
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – 1B V.D. Morales – C Contreras – RF van Otterdijk – CF Hamel – SS McFarland – P Gaytan
CHA: SS J. Brown – 3B A. Rodriguez – CF R. West – LF Bakker – 1B Terrell – 2B D. Cox – RF Wilmes – C A. Johnson – P Joe Allen

The Coons didn’t score on singles by Yocum and Morales in the first inning, but got Hamel on with a walk, McFarland with a double in the second, then scored three runs in total on Humph’s 2-out, 2-run double and an RBI single by Yocum. More runs would be better in this game, since Gaytan looked like a disaster from the start and gave up a 2-run homer to Andy Johnson in the bottom 2nd to give most of the 3-0 lead away again. The Falcons got back even an inning later on screaming extra-base knocks by Alex Rodriguez and Ryan West…

Gaytan continued to not get anybody out, and after two more hits in the fourth inning gave up leadoff singles to the 2-3 hitters in the fifth inning. Van Otterdijk’s throw to third base was late, but allowed the trailing runners to advance, and Gaytan was yanked after four-plus profoundly ***** innings. McMahan came in, struck out Matt Bakker, but then gave up a 2-run double to Brady Terrell and walked Dustin Cox before his own dismissal and replacement with Newhard, who struck out Ron Wilmes and got Johnson on a groundout.

Through seven, the Coons’ offense was as futile as their pitching. After the 3-run second, they hardly got on base, and when they did, somebody inevitably hit into a double play, like Contreras in the fifth and Yocum in the seventh. Katz singled after the latter occasion, but was left on base by V.D. while Vinny Morales was again horrendous in garbage relief, walking three in two innings but for no runs this time. Contreras led off the eighth and cranked a homer, his first since being acquired from the Miners, narrowing the score to 5-4. New pitcher Victor Cabrera then nailed van Otterdijk to put the tying run on base. Hamel struck out and McFarland walked, and then Woodley pinch-hit, but him and Humph also struck out… The ninth inning went to right-hander Ignacio Gentili, who got Yocum to 2-2 before the batter reached on an infield single dying next to the mound. He was then immediately caught stealing, and Katz and V.D. both struck out piss away the rest of the game. 5-4 Falcons. Humphries 2-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Yocum 3-5, RBI; van Otterdijk 2-3;

Interlude: Trade I

The Raccoons, in a fit of desperation, swung a trade with the Rebels on Friday night, acquiring 26-year-old slugging OF Juan Licona (.293, 17 HR, 54 RBI) for the charred remains of ex-CL Pedro Valentin (2-3, 6.09 ERA, 18 SV), who saved 160 games across 4 1/2 seasons for the Critters, and this year gave up all the homers, as well as a bundle of prospects: #121 A SP Eddie Moreno, #136 A OF Scott Singleton, and AA SP Billy Ruben;

The trade gave the Raccoons a genuine slugger to put in the #4 hole (although V.D. Morales’ efforts were not completely unappreciated), and we did so while axing a reliever that was on an expiring contract and was dangerously close to getting released anyway (same for Vinny). For the prospects, we avoided the worst of it, clearly, as not a single top 100 boy was shipped outta town, and Moreno especially wasn’t developing as hoped for.

Licona’s contract was not exactly expensive for a guy capable of hitting 26+ homers, as he was guaranteed another $4.56M annually through 2076.

Mild issues: Humph had no good throwing arm, so Licona had to change positions. Currently we wanted to keep V.D. in the lineup, and he couldn’t play center, so Licona had to go there. In the longer run we wanted Licona in right, although that would probably require the hatching of a plan in the winter. For the moment, we now had an outfielder too much on the roster, though.

Interlude: Trade II

On Saturday morning, the Raccoons traded corner outfielder George van Otterdijk (.257, 6 HR, 22 RBI) to the Crusaders for disgruntled right-hander Josh Jackson (3-2, 3.86 ERA, 2 SV), who had it in his contract that he’d be a starting pitcher and had been left to rot in the pen for the last year and a half. Jackson came with $800k and was under contract for another year at a pretty dime.

The Otter, defensively challenged and then the odd man out because we’d get neither Jack Hamel nor Phil LeVan through waivers, had hit .266 with 33 homers and 144 RBI in his Raccoons career.

Raccoons (57-45) @ Falcons (43-57) – July 29-31, 2072

Game 2
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C Contreras – 3B Gonzales – P Wharton
CHA: SS J. Brown – 3B A. Rodriguez – LF Bakker – RF Frasher – C A. Johnson – 1B Terrell – 2B Houkes – CF Villarreal – P Samson

Licona struck out in his first at-bat in brown, which surprised nobody, and the rest of both lineups didn’t do much better. Both teams scattered three singles each in the first five innings, nobody touched third base, and the Falcons even cleaned up most of their own litter by hitting into two double plays.

Yocum joined in by the sixth inning, hitting an infield single to begin the inning and being caught stealing. Katz made an out before Licona hit a double to left for his first time on base with the team, and V.D. drew a walk from Samson. Woodley stringing a double to left brought in two 2-out runs, but Contreras grounded out. Alex Villarreal then opened the bottom 6th with a double against Jimmy, who had only three strikeouts by this time, then got caught trying to steal third base. Matt Bakker singled and was caught stealing in the bottom 7th, and I have to say, respect to Mr. Squeaky Clean for these all new self-cleansing bases.

From the eighth, I then wore the most obnoxious grin, because that was the inning when Licona BELTED a 400-footer to right for a 2-out solo homer, extending the lead to 3-0!!

The Coons of course threatened to ruin it, because that is what they do, they ruin every rug you put them on. Jimmyboy gave up hits to Brady Terrell and Rodger Houkes in the bottom 8th, popped up Villarreal, but then was lifted when right-hander Ron Wilmes pinch-hit for Samson, who hit an RBI single off Cam Jackson, but Josh Brown popped out to first, and that left the tying runs on base. Alex Rodriguez began the ninth with a base hit, so the threat of a game-tying homer remained real. Bakker fanned and Frasher grounded out, and then Rios came in for a left-handed pinch-hitter, gave up three straight singles to Dustin Collins, Wes Rigbye, and Dustin Cox, and was yanked for Rismiller with the bases loaded and two outs, which entertained the Falcons to send lefty-hitting Ryan West after the right-handed pitcher. Rismiller tied the game with a wild pitch, then gave up a walkoff single. 4-3 Falcons. Licona 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI; Woodley 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Wharton 7.2 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 3 K;

Oh, **** you, guys. **** you…!!

Game 3
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – CF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C S. Brown – SS McFarland – P Walla
CHA: SS J. Brown – 3B A. Rodriguez – CF R. West – RF Frasher – 2B D. Cox – LF Villarreal – 1B D. Collins – C A. Johnson – P Moses

This time around both sides scattered five hits through five innings, though not all singles. McFarland had a pair of leadoff hits in the third and fifth, and scored both times, first on a single and some general dillydallying before Yocum singled him home with two gone, and then with a triple to center, coming in on Walla’s groundout. Those were the only runs through five, although Walla heaven-knows tried to give up some runs, giving up pairs of runners in the first, second, and fifth innings, five being singles, and one hit batter. Villarreal was thrown out at third by Morales coming from first on a Collins single in the bottom 2nd and then Andy Johnson hit into a double play, which helped for sure at that time, and the other four runners were simply stranded. Licona meanwhile hit a leadoff double in the fourth and quickly learned that on this team you had no friends as a runner in scoring position.

Walla struck out the side after a leadoff single by Rodriguez in the sixth, then got walked by Moses with one out in the top 7th. He then slowed traffic as Humph also walked and Yocum singled, loading the bases. Katz hit a sac fly to left deep enough to get Walla home, but the others were left stranded when Licona grounded out to Collins at first base. Villarreal punched a fourth straight K for the Falcons to begin the bottom half of the inning, but Collins singled… and was doubled up by Johnson. Moses walked the 5-6 batters to begin the top 8th and was lifted, but the bottom of the order also didn’t get anybody across. Walla got the 9-1-2 batters out in the inning, reaching nine strikeouts and 99 pitches, then begged for the ball for the ninth. Seeing the assembly of drooling hunchbacks in the bullpen, we obliged. West grounded out, and Frasher struck out. Cox hit a fly to right, but it was no bother for V.D., and Walla completed a 7-hit shutout! 3-0 Critters. Yocum 2-3, BB, RBI; McFarland 2-4, 3B; Walla 9.0 IP, 7 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 10 K, W (10-2);

111 pitches and zero tears!

In other news

July 25 – Warriors OF Jordan Lopez (.315, 18 HR, 57 RBI) hits a double in a 1-0 win against the Buffaloes to extend a hitting streak to 20 games.
July 26 – The streak of Jordan Lopez (.311, 18 HR, 57 RBI) lasts only 24 hours before the Buffaloes end it in a 5-3 Topeka win.
July 26 – The Condors send 1B David Cline (.287, 4 HR, 56 RBI) to the Rebs in exchange for four prospects.
July 27 – NYC OF Tony Griffin (.262, 9 HR, 58 RBI) drives in six runs and misses the cycle by the double in a 14-0 rout of the Thunder.
July 28 – Cincy trades LF/RF/1B Manny Arocho (.316, 2 HR, 29 RBI) to the Condors for MR Juan Arguelles (1-2, 4.05 ERA) and #37 prospect RF/1B/LF Ramon Alarcon.
July 29 – Caps 1B Armando Curiel (.323, 15 HR, 63 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak thanks to a pair of singles in a 7-1 loss to the Wolves.
July 29 – The Crusaders trade SP/MR Dennis Marck (7-4, 3.09 ERA) to the Wolves for two prospects.
July 29 – Vancouver sends SP B.J. Butrico (6-8, 5.11 ERA) and a prospect to Sacramento for the services of outfielder Wade Griffith (.256, 2 HR, 14 RBI).
July 30 – TIJ SP Joe Whitley (4-3, 3.30 ERA) 1-hits the Crusaders in a 7-0 shutout. The only resistance is offered by NYC 1B/LF/RF Raul Ledesma (.261, 18 HR, 65 RBI), who hits a single.
July 30 – The hitting streak of WAS 1B Armando Curiel (.320, 15 HR, 64 RBI) also lasts only a day before ending at 20 games in a 9-8 win against the Wolves.
July 30 – Vegas acquires OF Adam Seybert (.332, 3 HR, 51 RBI) from the Cyclones, parting with SP John Santamaria (5-9, 4.16 ERA) and a prospect.
July 31 – The Titans have only three hits in nine innings against the Knights, but the last one is a 2-run walkoff home run by RF/LF/1B Manuel Garcia (.281, 9 HR, 48 RBI).

Player of the Week (FL): DEN 2B Chris McNulty (.252, 9 HR, 34 RBI), batting .500 (14-28) with 2 HR, 4 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): LVA INF Koji Hatakeyama (.303, 4 HR, 57 RBI), hitting .519 (14-27) with 1 HR, 8 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: SFW OF Jordan Lopez (.310, 18 HR, 58 RBI), swatting .368 with 5 HR, 16 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: MIL 1B/RF/LF Cesar Ramirez (.362, 26 HR, 64 RBI), thrashing .446 with 7 HR, 24 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SFW SP Harry Poteat (12-6, 2.01 ERA), going 5-0 with a 2.61 ERA, 32 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: VAN SP Jay Williams (16-3, 2.26 ERA), hurling 5-0 with a 1.76 ERA, 28 K
FL Rookie of the Month: DEN 1B Clement Bussotti (.367, 6 HR, 14 RBI), going .400 with 4 HR, 6 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: CHA OF Ryan West (.273, 1 HR, 24 RBI), clipping .368 with 11 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Two Moraleses, two Jacksons, and two Browns on the roster now! How much do you miss Tyler Wharton on a scale of 1 to 2?

At the same time you could row a boat out 20 miles into the Pacific and then blast a hole into its bottom, and it wouldn’t take on water any quicker than this ******* bullpen.

Licona’s slugging .889 as a Critter! Yes, it’s only been two games. Also no broken legs so far. Raúl Castillo lasted three before sacrificing his body to the baseball gods, like we sacrificed the entire Hall of Fame career of Dennis Fried for him.

Felipe Salinas signed with the Titans for $2.32M this week, which if we had tried to match it would have cost us over $1.4M in tax, well more than what we even have available for dosh. Now we’ll suffer in silence for the next 20 years.

Josh Jackson will make his first Raccoons start on Tuesday in Atlanta, where the Raccoons will conclude this road trip. We’re then home for seven games against the Titans and Elks.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons still have 13 ranked prospects.

I’m sure we kept the good ones!

[Westheim]

Licona hasn’t broken a leg yet, but I had a couple of days of erratic sleep and feeling generally meh. Let’s see who hits the DL first!

+++

Raccoons (58-47) @ Knights (57-48) – August 1-3, 2072

Both teams were just a couple games out in their divisions and the Knights had dropped three games in a row to end the month of July. They had the #3 offense but only average pitching, and that came out to a +60 run differential (Coons: +6). Atlanta led the league in OBP, but they didn’t steal bases, and the bullpen was quite volatile, an issue never them nor the Critters had addressed at the deadline. Portland had a 4-2 edge in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Crispino D’Urso (10-5, 3.59 ERA) vs. Brett Bebout (9-4, 3.83 ERA)
Josh Jackson (3-2, 3.86 ERA) vs. Justin Kent (3-2, 3.12 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (5-7, 4.20 ERA) vs. Adam Lunn (11-5, 3.43 ERA)

Rumor was pointing towards the left-handed Kent making a spot start for an ineffective Scott Triebwasser (8-7, 5.06 ERA), facing our own guy repurposed from the Crusaders’ bullpen. Josh Jackson would make his first appearance for the Critters in that middle game. The other Knights starters were right-handers.

Game 1
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C J. Contreras – 3B Gonzales – P D’Urso
ATL: CF J. Soto – RF Ehlers – C Hart – LF Marcotte – 1B J. Caceres – 3B J. Munoz – SS Guangorena – 2B X. Contreras – P Bebout

Both teams missed chances to score in the early innings; the Raccoons got Yocum and Katz singles in the first, and a leadoff double by Woodley in the second, but couldn’t get any of the runners across, and Crispy Bear issued leadoff walks in the second and third innings. In the latter, the leadoff walk to Xavier Contreras was followed up with a single by Jorge Soto, and then another walk to Joel Ehlers, but with the bags full and one out, Justin Hart struck out and Eddie Marcotte popped out to Morales in shallow right after running a full count. The game was still scoreless after three innings.

Bebout walked the bags full immediately after Juan Licona’s leadoff single in the fourth inning. The Raccoons got the lead this time, in the dumbest way, when Jonathan Contreras hit into a 5-3 double play. An intentional walk to Gonzales later, Crispy Bear struck out, then gave the lead back right away by a leadoff single to Jorge Caceres, a walk to Jorge Munoz, and then Xavier Contreras’ RBI single. This Contreras even got an RBI for his efforts. Bebout bunted the pair of remaining runners into scoring position, but Soto went down on strikes in another full count, and Crispy’s pitch count was over 80 after just four innings, including three of constant traffic. He made it through 5.1 innings, giving up a go-ahead homer to Caceres in the bottom 6th, and was yanked once Tomas Guangorena singled.

Triebwasser relieved Bebout after six innings, so he *definitely* wasn’t taking a start any time soon in this series. He also gave up the 2-1 lead on a leadoff jack by Jonathan Contreras! That was as much as offense as was on the plate right now, though, and then Noah Newhard right away was good for another derailment, entering the bottom 7th by giving up a leadoff single to Soto, who stole second, nailing Ehlers, and then giving up runs on a Marcotte single and Grant Anker’s pinch-hit sac fly. He departed after a walk to Munoz. Cam Jackson replaced him, but brought no relief, walking Guangorena and giving up a 2-run single to Xavier Contreras before ending the inning with a K on Dan Eggert.

The game looked a bit over, down 6-2, but the Battle of Contreras was not over yet. Yocum led off the eighth with a single off Mike Rocheford. He stole second and got to third on Licona’s single. Ricardo Duarte replaced Rocheford, got V.D. on strikes, but then allowed an RBI single to Woodley, and then the second game-tying homer of the game that Jonathan Contreras bashed!

No more Contrerases got to the plate in regulation, which meant no further runs were scored and we got to extra innings tied at six. The Coons managed to get their Contreras to the plate in the tenth only after a 2-out error by Atlanta’s Contreras allowed Woodley on base, but Portland’s Contreras then socked a double into the leftfield corner, and there was no holding Woodley at third here. He chugged it all the way around to score on ancient Eddie Marcotte, but Contreras was left on base after Gonzales grounded out on a 3-1 pitch by Alex Dominguez. The Coons stuck with Rismiller, who had already done the ninth on eight pitches, and he retired the Knights on just eleven more, striking out Xavier Contreras in the process. 7-6 Critters! Yocum 2-4, BB; Licona 2-5; Woodley 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Contreras 3-5, 2 HR, 2B, 5 RBI; Rismiller 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, W (5-2);

The Raccoons won the game 7-6, and Jonathan beat Xavier Contreras for RBI’s, 5-3.

No spot starter on Tuesday, though, as Adam Lunn was moved up.

Game 2
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C J. Contreras – 3B Gonzales – P J. Jackson
ATL: CF J. Soto – RF Ehlers – C Hart – LF Marcotte – 1B J. Caceres – 3B J. Munoz – SS Guangorena – 2B X. Contreras – P Lunn

Jonathan Contreras was the first Critter to reach base on Tuesday, joining with Gonzales for a pair on with nobody out that got bunted to scoring position by Jackson and then scored on Humph’s single through the left side for a 2-0 lead. Yocum then cleaned the bases with a sharp 6-4-3 double play. Earlier defensive heroics had seen Licona throw out Hart at third base on a 2-out double in the first inning, not a 2-out triple as Hart thought. But the Knights made up a run on Soto and Ehlers hits in the same inning, and then Jackson melted down in the fourth, beginning with a leadoff walk to Marcotte. Caceres fanned, but Licona didn’t get to a Munoz fly that fell for a double, and then Guangorena singled home the pair of runners from second and third to flip the score. Guangorena reached second on Morales’ late throw to the plate, third on Xavier Contreras’ groundout, and scored, 4-2, on a passed ball charged to Jonathan Contreras with the pitcher batting and two outs. Brilliant!

Jackson barely got through six innings, scattering another three hits without giving up any more runs. The top of the order got another run off McMahan in the seventh as Ehlers and Hart landed base hits and Chad Brown gave up a sac fly to Marcotte. Vinny Morales managed to pitch a full inning without being crushed by another falling piano in the eighth inning, but the offense tumbled into the ninth inning against Dominguez in completely lackluster fashion and on just four base hits for the entire game. Yocum hit a leadoff double in the ninth, but Katz flew out. Licona’s grounder to Xavier Contreras was thrown away for two bases and a run, and suddenly the tying run was at the plate. V.D. drew a walk, and Woodley lobbed a ball behind Guangorena for a scratch single to load the bases – and bring up yesterday’s hero, Jonathan Contreras, who so far had zero RBI in this game…! Popping out to short didn’t really change that, and Jack Hamel batted for Gonzales, but grounded out to Munoz. 5-3 Knights.

Game 3
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B V.D. Morales – C J. Contreras – CF Hamel – 3B Gonzales – P Gaytan
ATL: CF J. Soto – RF Ehlers – C Hart – LF Marcotte – 1B DiPrimio – 3B J. Munoz – SS Guangorena – 2B X. Contreras – P Kent

Eddie Gonzales and Xavier Contreras both hit leadoff singles and were scored with 2-out hits by Yocum (single) and Hart (triple, for real, though) respectively, in the third inning of the rubber game after two rather calm innings to begin proceedings. In the fourth, Licona singled and stole a base while the bases gradually filled up behind him, only for Gaytan to fly out to Ehlers for the third out; but Gaytan got around a 1-out single by Kris DiPrimio in the bottom 4th by getting Munoz to feed a double play grounder to Katz, and the infielders executed the 6-4-3 to end the inning.

Humph got a leadoff walk from Kent in the fifth and was being paid much attention by the left-hander afterwards, reducing his lead and keeping him at third base once Yocum doubled to right. But hey, runners in scoring position with nobody out, that’s gotta work out, right? Katz promptly grounded out to Munoz at third base, scoring nobody. Licona gave the team the lead, but only with a groundout, V.D. got issued a walk, but Jonathan Contreras raked an RBI double to right, 3-1, before Hamel grounded out and left a pair in scoring position.

Gaytan made it through seven, and the final inning actually ended with a Xavier Contreras double play bouncer to Katz after Munoz and Guangorena had set up camp on the corners. Gaytan threw 100 pitches exactly without issuing either a walk or a strikeout in the game. Still up 3-1, the Coons then got two outs from Rios from Anker and Soto in the bottom 8th, then tried one more with Newhard, who instead allowed a single to Ehlers and a homer to Hart, tying the game. He walked Marcotte and struck out DiPrimio. LeVan then drew a leadoff walk in the #9 spot in the ninth, but got doubled up by Humphries, and Cam Jackson got the Raccoons to extra innings once more…

Licona and Morales hit 1-out singles against Tim Cropp in the tenth inning, but Contreras grounded out. Woodley batted for Hamel against the right-hander, but grounded out. Rismiller kept the game tied with a quick tenth. Harry Facteau got the ball in the 11th for the Knights, nailed Gonzales to get going, and then balked the go-ahead runner to second. Sam Brown pinch-hit and grounded out, sending Gonzales to third, but Humph popped out foul and Yocum flew out to Ehlers to waste the opportunity. The Coons ended up with Vinny Morales again by then, but only for five pitches until Justin Hart smashed a leadoff/walkoff homer in the bottom 11th. 4-3 Knights. Yocum 4-6, 2B, RBI; Licona 2-5, RBI; Contreras 3-5, 2B, RBI; Gaytan 7.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 0 K;

Only 23 Critters made it back home to Portland after this. Noah Newhard (3-0, 5.29 ERA, 2 SV) was sent back to AAA, and Vinny Morales (1-10, 6.75 ERA) had lost enough games at this point and was placed on waivers. The remainders were joined by Todd Sullivan and David Delgado.

Raccoons (59-49) vs. Titans (51-55) – August 4-7, 2072

The Titans brought the worst rotation, but a sturdy pen and defense to Portland. They were overall rather average, sixth in runs scored and fifth in runs allowed, with a +7 run differential. The Critters were up 5-2 in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Jimmy Wharton (9-8, 4.34 ERA) vs. Chase Teller (2-0, 1.93 ERA)
Nick Walla (10-2, 2.99 ERA) vs. Jesse Cruise (8-4, 5.20 ERA)
Crispino D’Urso (10-5, 3.58 ERA) vs. Angel Suarez (8-8, 5.91 ERA)
Josh Jackson (3-3, 3.96 ERA) vs. Erik Lee (4-11, 5.30 ERA)

That’s a 26-year-old rookie and three guys not doing very well. Cruise was the only southpaw.

Game 1
BOS: 2B Fumero – LF Lorenzo – 1B H. Moreno – RF M. Garcia – CF B. Davidson – 3B D. Miller – C R. Perez – SS Kovach – P Teller
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – 3B Gonzales – C S. Brown – P Wharton

For facing a completely right-handed lineup (including the switch-hitting Vic Lorenzo), Jimmy Wharton did very well. Strikeouts didn’t exactly pile up, but the Titans scattered five singles in five innings and touched third base only once when Danny Miller (ever the pest) and Ruben Perez hit singles, Josh Kovach grounded out, and Teller struck out in the second inning. The Coons on the other paw were nowhere near getting five hits in five innings, and didn’t touch third base at all.

Bottom 6th, Yocum led off with a single, stole second, and then finally scored the game’s first run after Katz grounded out and Licona singled to center. Morales forced out Licona, Woodley hit another single, but Gonzales grounded out to leave two aboard, and then Jimmy came back and shoveled the bags full by giving up a leadoff double to Miller (who else?) and walks to Perez and Kovach. Rismiller replaced him, got the pinch-hitter Javier Acuna to pop out, but then gave up four runs on a bases-loaded triple by ex-Coon Carlos Fumero, and Lorenzo’s RBI single before getting out of the inning. The bullpen, who just had seen two members replaced, remained brightly ablaze after that, as Sullivan’s first act back from Florida entailed allowing a single to Miller and a homer to Perez in the eighth inning. Delgado then picked up the remaining pieces to finish the game. 6-1 Titans.

Game 2
BOS: 2B Fumero – 3B D. Miller – 1B H. Moreno – RF M. Garcia – CF B. Davidson – LF Parrish – C R. Perez – SS Kovach – P Cruise
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B V.D. Morales – C J. Contreras – CF Hamel – 3B Gonzales – P Walla

The offense finally appeared to arrive from the airport on Friday; at least they began by filling the bases with nobody out in the bottom 1st as Humph singled, Yocum doubled, and Katz drew a walk. Licona then struck out, Morales hit a comebacker to Cruise for an out at the plate, and then Contreras stepped up and fell to 1-2 … and emptied the next pitch into the rightfield stands, and the bases, too! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!

For further depression, the Titans made three runs back off Walla right away. Manuel Garcia hit a homer in the second, Bill Davidson got hit in the foot and limped to first base, and John Parrish bashed a double, and then two groundouts served to bring the remaining runners home and narrow the score to 4-3. The Titans got two more singles in the third, and a leadoff single from Davidson in the fourth, after which Walla struck out the next three batters. Fumero singled and was caught stealing in the fifth, at which point Jesse Cruise had already been hit for after just four innings – and without giving a whole lot of runners in between the grand slam and then. Tetsu Kurihara was at it in long relief and gave up a run in the bottom 6th, conceding singles to Contreras and Gonzales, and a balk in between, allowing the brown team to extend the lead to 5-3. Walla then hit another batter (Parrish) in the foot, but Perez hit into a double play in the seventh.

Walla finished eight innings, getting another run of support when Licona took another ex-Coon, Jesse Dover, deep in the seventh. Contreras narrowly missed another homer off Dover to begin the bottom 8th, having the ball taken at the fence by Garcia. With the score 6-3 after eight, we had to spin the wheel to see who’d get to blow the save, which turned out to be Cam Jackson. Hector Moreno’s leadoff single made for a nice start for the Titans, but they made three straight outs after that. 6-3 Raccoons. Licona 3-4, HR, RBI; Contreras 2-4, HR, 4 RBI; Walla 8.0 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 0 BB, 6 K, W (11-2) and 1-3;

Finally a (overall) well-pitched game!

And a Licona Pop – I love it!

There wasn’t a day off in the cards for another week (almost), so the Coons would rest the regulars, especially the brittle ones, in the last two games of the series. Humph and Katz were not in the lineup (neither had a great week anyway) on Saturday, and Yocum was going to be off on Sunday.

Game 3
BOS: 2B Fumero – 3B D. Miller – 1B H. Moreno – RF M. Garcia – CF B. Davidson – LF Parrish – C Perez – SS Kovach – P A. Suarez
POR: 2B Yocum – CF LeVan – C Contreras – LF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – 3B Gonzales – SS McFarland – P D’Urso

At least Licona was playing and crushed a 3-run homer outta centerfield in the first inning, collecting LeVan, Contreras, and their two cutesie little singles from just before the thunder roared over Raccoons Ballpark. Which was as good a point as any to mention that there was rain in the forecast. Davidson countered with a solo home run off Crispy Bear in the second inning, while Suarez conceded a leadoff walk to LeVan in the bottom 3rd, and then blitzed Licona in the ribs with a fastball, which made it start to hail down – boos from the stands to be precisely. Suarez was paid to pay for the transgression in runs, as Woodley smashed a 2-out, 2-run double in the inning to extend the lead to 5-1, and Suarez was replaced after that inning.

The middle innings passed with the occasional single on either side – one hit by Crispy Bear – but no major offensive efforts, let alone runs from either team. Crispy was actually in a great shape through six innings, having thrown only 62 pitches despite getting six whiffs from the Titans. Boston promptly made him throw 23 more pitches in the seventh despite only getting a Parrish single, but two counts ran full and so on and so on. Like Walla, he went eight innings for his 11th win of the season, getting hit for with Katz in the bottom 8th as the Coons unloaded a bunch of singles, of which Katz hit the second, following McFarland’s. Two gone in the inning, LeVan hit an RBI single, as did the pinch-hitting Sam Brown. Licona then flew out to deep center. David Delgado got the last three outs in short order. 7-1 Raccoons. LeVan 2-3, 2 BB, RBI; Contreras 2-4; S. Brown (PH) 1-1, RBI; Katzman (PH) 1-1; D’Urso 8.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 8 K, W (11-5) and 1-2;

The Titans actually found a different starter with a 5+ ERA to go on Sunday then, replacing Lee with Bryce Wallace (4-8, 5.35 ERA). Still a righty.

Game 4
BOS: 2B Fumero – 3B D. Miller – 1B H. Moreno – CF B. Davidson – LF Parrish – RF Lorenzo – C Sha – SS Kovach – P B. Wallace
POR: LF Humphries – CF LeVan – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B Woodley – 2B McFarland – C S. Brown – 3B Luebbert – P J. Jackson

The first inning didn’t go to plan as Miller hit a single (when did he ever not?) and Brown severely misfired when Miller attempted to steal second, sailing a ball to centerfield for Miller to go to third, and then to score on a sac fly by Moreno, giving the Titans an unearned 1-0 lead. LeVan singled for the Coons in the bottom 1st, but was thrown out at the plate by Vic Lorenzo on a Licona hit to right with two outs. Jackson continued to find trouble, and in the third allowed a leadoff single to Kovach, an RBI double to Fumero, a walk to Miller, and then narrowly didn’t allow any more runs on a nifty defensive play by Luebbert on Moreno’s groundout and then Davidson’s foul pop to Brown. The Coons didn’t find inroads to Wallace until the bottom 4th when Katz and Licona hit soft singles and Woodley drew a 1-out walk to fill the bases for McFarland, who hit a sac fly to right, but Brown’s groundout ended the inning.

Bottom 5th, down 2-1, a throwing error by Fumero put Luebbert on first base to begin the inning. Jackson bunted the runner over, Humph grounded out, but before we could get a decision on the runner at third with two gone, Wallace walked the bases full with the 2-3 batters, presenting Licona with juicy buffet … but Licona whiffed in a full count and nobody scored…

Jackson then walked Davidson and Parrish in the sixth and was yanked with two down and the runners in scoring position to have McMahan get rid of the lefty-hitting catcher Gua-dong Sha, which he did, as well as the first two batters in the seventh. Gonzales and Sullivan then entered in a double switch (replacing McFarland, Luebbert going to second), but Sullivan put Fumero on base… and then Fumero put himself off the base again by being caught stealing. Wallace was yanked after his sixth walk, to Luebbert leading off the bottom 7th, from where the Coons twice hit into a fielder’s choice and then LeVan struck out against Dover.

Bottom 8th, and Cody Kleidon was sent in to hold the 2-1 lead. He got Katz and Licona out, but then walked Woodley and gave up a single to the pinch-hitting V.D. Morales. At this point, Contreras batted for Brown, and his week just kept going with a huge 3-run homer to left…!! The Coons had the lead! Luebbert popped out, and the save chance went to Rios given the lefty-leaning nature of the bottom half of the Titans lineup that was up in the ninth. The only left-handed batter he actually ended up facing was Parrish, whom he walked, and then a bunch of switch-hitters / pinch-hitters … whom he all retired. 4-2 Raccoons! Licona 2-4; Woodley 1-2, 2 BB; V.D. Morales (PH) 1-1; Contreras (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI;

In other news

August 2 – The Falcons take command against the Crusaders with a 12-run third inning and then cruise to a 14-1 victory. Falcons RF Eric Frasher (.299, 6 HR, 23 RBI) goes yard twice in the third inning, driving in seven runs!
August 2 – The Stars show why you never stop scoring, barely holding off the Rebels’ 5-run rally in the bottom of the ninth for a 6-5 win. The Stars had just tagged on four runs of their own in the top of the ninth.
August 3 – MIL SP Mike Bell (8-6, 3.17 ERA) was out for the rest of August with a mild case of shoulder inflammation.
August 4 – LAP SP Melvin Lebron (12-7, 3.44 ERA) is expected to miss ten months with a ruptured medial collateral ligament.
August 4 – DAL LF Matt Little (.294, 13 HR, 55 RBI) leads the charge with two homers, a double, and five RBI as the Stars take down the Gold Sox, 15-3. Overall, the Stars hit five homers in the game.
August 5 – SFW SP Edwin Moreno (10-6, 3.46 ERA) and three relievers pitch a combined 1-hitter against the Pacifics, who only get a single from LF/RF John Miller (.315, 18 HR, 79 RBI) in the 2-0 loss.
August 6 – A broken finger ends the season of SAC LF Ian Streng (.274, 9 HR, 57 RBI).
August 7 – The season of Caps C Chris Willhite (.271, 12 HR, 59 RBI) ends by means of torn ankle ligaments.

Player of the Week (FL): DAL RF/LF/1B Josh Bursley (.318, 8 HR, 30 RBI), batting .455 (10-22) with 2 HR, 5 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): POR C/1B Jonathan Contreras (.292, 11 HR, 63 RBI), smashing .545 (21-22) with 4 HR, 13 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Jonathan Contreras en fuego!

Vinny Morales passed waivers and was assigned to the Alley Cats. We can still release him in the winter…

The bullpen remains a source of agony, but there’s no way to fix it anymore this year.

The icky Elks are in for three games starting on Monday, and then we have a quick trip to Denver over a weekend framed by off days before coming right back for a 9-game homestand against Cincy, Indy, and …. Milly?

Fun Fact: The CL North race is like watching a bunch of guys stuck in quicksand, waiting to see who disappears first.

Neither of the four teams in contention has played better than 18-15 (Crusaders, Loggers) since the start of July. The Coons bring up the rear at 15-18. Indy has gone 17-16 since then. Even the bottom of the division isn’t falling much further behind so far. The Titans have the same record as the Raccoons, and the Elks are 14-19.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (62-50) vs. Canadiens (49-64) – August 8-10, 2072

The Elks weren’t going anywhere this year, but would surely still be motivated to take the Raccoons down with them. The season series so far had been hotly contested, Portland being 7-5 up, and the Elks brought the #4 offense and horrendous pitching and defense to Portland. They also had no speed. John Bustillos and Mario Rivera were key players locked away on the DL, in Bustillos’ case for the rest of the season.

Projected matchups:
Tony Gaytan (5-7, 4.05 ERA) vs. Adam McDonald (6-8, 4.26 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (9-9, 4.34 ERA) vs. Jay Williams (16-3, 2.33 ERA)
Nick Walla (11-2, 3.01 ERA) vs. Luis Renteria (0-2, 4.42 ERA)

These three were all right-handers.

Game 1
VAN: 3B Terrazas – 2B Ratliff – RF Dille – 1B Palominos – CF D. Moore – LF W. Griffith – SS Barre – C Vaillancourt – P McDonald
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – C Contreras – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – 3B Gonzales – P Gaytan

The damn Elks jumped out to a 3-0 lead, all unearned thanks to a Woodley error on the first groundball of the game when he dropped a throw by Edgar Gonzales to put Juan Terrazas on base. Gaytan then immediately had nothing, walked Andy Ratliff before Kevin Dille popped out, then balked the runners into scoring position. A run scored on Jose Palominos’ groundout, and two more when Dan Moore popped a home run. The inning eventually ended, and then McDonald loaded the bases on a walk to Humph, an infield single by Yocum, and another walk to Katz. Licona hit a single through the right side to get a station-to-station run home, Contreras brought in a run on a fielder’s choice grounder, but Morales and Woodley hit shallow fly balls for outs and left runners on the corners.

After two innings of nothing much, the Raccoons then got Contreras and Morales on base to begin the bottom 4th. Woodley and Gonzales both hit into fielders’ choices at second base, but that was enough to squeeze Contreras around to score and tie the game at three.

Gaytan went into the seventh inning; after the early disaster he issued another two singles and two walks and struck out six, and when lifted because the Elks sent Ben Craig to bat for Terrazas with two outs in the top 7th, had that bewildering “look, boss, no earned runs!” look on his face, that Moore homer be damned. The game was also still tied at three; McMahan and LeVan entered in a double switch, moving Licona to right and ending V.D.’s day, and McMahan got a pop to second from Craig that Yocum then dropped. Ratliff grounded out instead. The Coons then scratched out a lead in the bottom of the inning when LeVan rolled a 1-out single, stole second, and scored on Yocum’s 2-out hit that barely got past Ratliff. Dille popped out against McMahan to begin the eighth, and Chad Brown struck out the next two batters. Bottom 8th, and Contreras and Woodley hit singles against different relievers, but the inning ended with Tristan Barre jumping to snatch a liner by Gonzales to retire the Coons. Rismiller then got paws on another lead, struck out Wade Griffith to begin the ninth inning, then got easy fly balls from Tyler Eaves and John Vaillancourt. 4-3 Critters. Yocum 2-4, RBI; Contreras 1-2, BB, RBI; LeVan 1-1; Gaytan 6.2 IP, 3 H, 3 R, 0 ER, 3 BB, 6 K;

Game 2
VAN: SS Barraza – CF D. Moore – LF W. Griffith – 2B Palominos – 1B Eaves – RF Craig – 3B Kiblin – C D. Johnson – P J. Williams
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – C Contreras – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – 3B Gonzales – P Wharton

Another trying first inning saw Roberto Barraza, who singled and stole second, Griffith, drawing a 10-pitch walk, and Tyler Eaves get on base; Eaves hit a 2-out single to left, Barraza was sent home from second, and thrown out by Humphries to get Wharton through the inning. The Coons then got leadoff walks drawn in the first three innings, by Humph, Conteras, and Humph again, and never ******* scored any of those runners, and so Jimmy fell behind in the top of the fourth inning on Eaves’ leadoff double, Ben Craig’s RBI single, and then loaded the bases with Ryan Kiblin and David Johnson before fanning Williams and getting Barraza to pop out to elope with only one run on his ledger. His pitch count was a ghastly 68 after just four innings.

Licona drew another leadoff walk in the bottom 4th, but was doubled off the bags by Woodley to end the inning, and then Palominos homered off Jimmyboy to extend the Elks’ lead to 2-0 in the fifth. Y’know? **** walks. Hit homers!!

Jimmy lasted only 5.2 innings and departed with a runner, Johnson, left behind for Todd Sullivan to wave home by walking Barraza and giving up an RBI double to Moore. Griffith then struck out. The Raccoons finally scored a run in the bottom 6th on straight singles by Yocum, Katz, and Licona, but Contreras then ended the inning with a double play grounder. Williams ended up walking five Coons, almost all of them at the start of innings, and still cruised through eight innings and was never beaten up. Danny Nava then put out his former team in the ninth inning. 3-1 Canadiens. Yocum 2-4, 2B; C. Jackson 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

(sigh!!)

The Elks had a spot starter on Wednesday then, 31-year-old left-hander Allen Beights (1-0, 3.38 ERA), a former #276 pick with scattered ABL experience or the 2067 Miners and 2070 and 2072 Elks. This was his 13th big league start and he was 3-7 with a 4.35 ERA for his career.

Licona was a late scratch from the lineup with some general soreness (he had not had a day off in this string of games), but he was available to pinch-hit.

Game 3
VAN: SS Barraza – 2B Ratliff – RF Dille – 1B Palominos – CF D. Moore – LF W. Griffith – 3B Terrazas – C D. Johnson – P Beights
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – C Contreras – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – CF Hamel – 3B Gonzales – P Walla

Both pitchers leaked a pair of walks in the first inning, but only Beights paid for it, giving up a 3-run homer to the white hot Contreras with Humph and Yocum in scoring position. Griffith then legged out an infield single, but was doubled off by Terrazas in the second, while Hamel hit a leadoff single and was caught stealing as his cold streak continued. Beights got Gonzales to ground out, but drew the attention of the team trainer and left the game after just 1.2 innings. Right-hander John Steele replaced him, gave up a single to Walla, who was stranded by Humph, and then was Walla’s first K victim in the top 3rd.

Walla struck out four in five tying innings, and half of the strikeouts turned out to be Steele. The Elks had four hits and three walks against him, no runs, but were constantly on base, and he needed 70 pitches to get that far. This continued afterwards with a 1-out walk to Moore in the sixth and a Griffith single right afterwards. Moore made a bid for third base, but was thrown out by Hamel. Terrazas then struck out to get the Portland Browns out of the inning.

Like Gaytan on Monday, Walla allowed no earned runs, but the start was a bit muddled if we were all honest. He lasted six and two thirds, issuing a fifth walk to Ryan Kiblin and then was relieved by McMahan to get Ratliff out, which he did. The Coons then finally got another run, AND FROM A LEADOFF WALK, in the bottom 7th, when Katz doubled home Humph against Dan Speake. Contreras singled, Morales walked, and the bases were full for Woodley, who hit a long fly to the wrong part of the premises, and was held to a sac fly by Moore in deep center. Hamel popped out, but the shutout was completed by McMahan, Sullivan, and Delgado in rather comfortable fashion to take the series. 5-0 Furballs. Contreras 3-4, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Hamel 3-4; Walla 6.2 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 5 BB, 6 K, W (12-2) and 1-3;

Raccoons (64-51) @ Gold Sox (58-54) – August 12-14, 2072

The Raccoons had a weekend trip to Denver on the schedule now, where they’d face the #8 offense and #4 pitching in the Federal League. They had a +11 run differential, were near the top in home runs, but had no speed and were not great in populating the bases in huge numbers. This was the third straight year these teams met; the Raccoons had won the last five series going back to 2063, and had taken two outta three last year.

Projected matchups:
Crispino D’Urso (11-5, 3.41 ERA) vs. Jasper Madsen (8-9, 3.67 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (5-7, 3.86 ERA) vs. Walt Chicas (8-8, 4.25 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (9-10, 4.36 ERA) vs. Josh Trotter (7-3, 2.98 ERA)

We decided to skip Josh Jackson and have him as additional righty relief option for this series, which was framed by off days. The Gold Sox lineup was rather thin on lefty sticks, but we also didn’t want to send Delgado back right now. Leftier times were coming. The Gold Sox had been off on Thursday, but their only left-handed starter Aaron O’Harra (10-8, 3.41 ERA) had gone on Wednesday and would not come up in this series.

Game 1
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – CF Licona – C Contreras – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – SS McFarland – P D’Urso
DEN: 2B McNulty – 3B B. Metz – LF M. Sandoval – 1B Bussotti – RF Tuck – C Brann – SS Fischer – CF Wang – P Madsen

Crispy Bear coulda stayed home, because the Gold Sox were not fooled by his rookie charm, and hit him quickly and hard, particularly Miguel Sandoval, who homered off him in both of his first two at-bats. Sandoval, entering on 22 bombs, hit #23 with Beau Metz on base in the first, and then #24 in solo fashion in the third inning. In between the Sox got an unearned run with V.D. chipping in a throwing error in the second inning, so the Raccoons were 4-0 down and looking lost. Licona had doubled in the second without finding support, and Yocum led off the fourth with a triple to center. Katz popped out, but Licona got the run home with a grounder to short to get the team on the board at least.

A better chance offered itself in the fifth despite a fly out by V.D. to begin the inning. Woodley then singled and McFarland doubled, and there was no sane reason to keep Crispy Bear out there in this game. LeVan pinch-hit, but was held to an RBI groundout, 4-2, Humph walked, but Yocum grounded out to Metz to end the inning. LeVan then stayed in center, Licona went to left, and Humph had the rest of the day off.

The Sox made hard contact against Cam Jackson in the bottom 5th, but could only get a single for actual countables, while Katz then led off the sixth with a homer off Madsen. Licona singled, then stole second, and when the ball glanced off his tush and past Kyle Fischer, dazzled on to third base as the tying run. Contreras wasted no time, singled to left-center, and the score was even at four. Jackson maintained the tie in the bottom 6th, but Chad Brown had lesser fortunes in the seventh, allowed a leadoff single in the #9 spot to long-ago Coon Ryan Bonner, then walked Metz with one out and gave up another RBI knock to Sandoval, this an RBI single. Rios replaced Brown and got a double play grounder from Italian rookie Clement Bussotti.

While the Coons’ 3-4-5 batters went down meekly in the eighth, the Gold Sox cobbled together an insurance run with Chris Tuck getting a hit off Rios, and Adrian Blair finding a hole on the right side for a 2-out, pinch-hit RBI single against Sullivan. Kelvin Castillo then slammed the door with a 1-2-3 ninth. 6-4 Gold Sox. Licona 2-4, 2B, RBI; C. Jackson 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

Josh Trotter was moved up to the middle game by the Sox, utilizing that off day.

Game 2
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – C Contreras – 1B Woodley – CF LeVan – 3B Gonzales – P Gaytan
DEN: 2B McNulty – 3B B. Metz – LF M. Sandoval – 1B Bussotti – RF Tuck – C Brann – SS Fischer – CF Wang – P Trotter

Humph opened the game zinging a double down the leftfield line for a double and was then right away left on base again. The Raccoons got the first run, still, on a second-inning solo home run by Woodley, but Mike Brann whacked one out against routinely whackable Tony Gaytan in the same inning and we were tied at one. Humph hit another double in the third, this one to left-center with one out, and again was left on base. You couldn’t blame the Coons for not trying at least that time, but both Yocum an Katz were robbed by outfielders, Dao-zi Wang and Chris Tuck, respectively, on long fly balls.

Sandoval singled to lead off the bottom 4th. Bussotti popped out, Tuck fanned, and Brann flew out to center, and the Sox took a 2-1 lead in the inning. Wait; what? Blame the *two* wild pitches *and* a passed ball the Coons’ battery fudged together in the inning, moving Sandoval all the way around to score without any bit of help from his own ******* team.

So by then I was fuming badly, with black smoke billowing forth from both of my fuzzy ears, and it didn’t get better in the top 5th, which LeVan and Gonzales led off with singles to go to the corners. Gaytan hit into a fielder’s choice, Humph – outta doubles – popped out, and Yocum preferred to draw a 2-out walk and let somebody else take the blame. Katz then grounded one to the Gold Glover Metz, who made a sure grab and fired the ball to first … where the non-Gold Glover Bussotti dropped it for an error, allowing the Coons to tie the score again. Alright, we’re all stupid. Can we please get a big hit with the bags full? Licona punched out, so: no.

Gaytan gave up another present to Beau Metz in his sixth and final inning to depart down 3-2, and Rios walked a pair in the seventh, but Bonner hit into a 5-4-3 double play against Chad Brown to end the inning. Brown axed the side in the eighth, after the Coons’ 3-4-5 had disappeared on two strikeouts and no runners in the eighth against right-hander Nick Dry. Castillo was then back for the ninth inning. Hamel and V.D. pinch-hit to begin the inning, but made outs. Castillo walked the tying run on base with two gone against Gonzales, but then rung up Sam Brown batting for Chad Brown, and the Coons lost a series against the Sox for the first time in a decade. 3-2 Gold Sox. Humphries 2-4, 2 2B; Woodley 2-3, HR, RBI; C. Brown 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

Game 3
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – 1B Woodley – RF V.D. Morales – C S. Brown – 3B Luebbert – P Wharton
DEN: 2B McNulty – 3B B. Metz – LF M. Sandoval – 1B Bussotti – RF McLean – C Brann – SS Fischer – CF Wang – P Chicas

Jimmyboy walked McNulty to begin the bottom 1st, but the runner was caught stealing. Jimmy then struck out the next two, and four in total while facing the minimum through the first three innings. The Coons scattered three singles; Woodley and Brown were left on base in the second, and Humph got himself also caught stealing in the third. Katz hit a single to begin the fourth, but was left on first base.

McNulty drew his second leadoff walk in the fourth inning, and Jimmy also walked Metz this time around, but then popped out Sandoval, struck out Bussotti, and got Chris McLean to fly out to center. Portland wasted another single by Luebbert in the fifth, and the Sox finally got a single from Kyle Fischer in the bottom 5th… and then a 2-run homer, his second of the year, by .161 hitter Wang. (tosses his scorecard) Oh **** it! If we play **** like that we can just as well stay our ******* ***** home!!!

Wharton struck out eight in six innings and was hit for when V.D. and Sam Brown got into scoring position with one out in the seventh inning. The Sox moved first, bringing in righty George Christensen, who got LeVan to ground out to first and Humph to ground out to short, and nobody ******* scored, because our offense was just ***** like that.

The tying runs were in scoring position with one out again in the eighth inning, this time with Katz walking and then a Licona double against lefty reliever Manny Romero. The Coons sent Contreras, batting for Woodley, and the Sox sent righty Jose Robledo, who nicked Contreras to load the bases, then was replaced with another righty, John Silver. Morales hit a fly to center that was caught by Wang for a sac fly, and Sam Brown grounded out, ******* away another scoring chance that was fatter than the average reliever’s *** on this roster. Cam Jackson held the Sox to their 1-run lead in the bottom 8th, while Silver remained in the game for the ninth inning. Gonzales batted for Luebbert and flew out to McLean. Hamel flailed. Humph – bless his little heart – drew a walk, got balked to second, and then an error by Kyle Fischer on Yocum’s bouncer put runners on the corners for Katz, who had fallen under .300 with a weekend of general decrepitude. He ran a full count, then drew another walk to load the bases for Licona – ALSO not hitting as advertised in this series…! His grounder was right at McNulty and the game was over. 2-1 Gold Sox. Licona 2-5, 2B; S. Brown 2-4;

In other news

August 9 – The Aces beat the Knights in a ruckus game, 16-11. LVA OF Adam Seybert (.335, 4 HR, 56 RBI) drives in four runs on four hits and misses the cycle by the home run, and also doesn’t make any of his team’s four errors to keep the soundly out-hit Knights alive for most of the game. At one point, the teams score in eight consecutive half-innings.
August 9 – SFB INF Keith Ball (.206, 1 HR, 12 RBI), who hit double-digit home runs in the last two seasons, finally gets one out of the park in this game to beat the Condors, 1-0.
August 10 – The Rebs beat the Miners in 14 innings by a score of 4-3.
August 12 – Condors catcher Robert Alvarez (.281, 10 HR, 63 RBI) could be out until late September with a torn abdominal muscle.
August 12 – The Warriors beat the Crusaders, 3-2 in 16 innings. Both teams scored only one run in regulation, then one more in the 12th inning. Sioux Falls OF Jordan Lopez (.314, 19 HR, 65 RBI) ends the game with a walkoff single with the bases loaded.

Player of the Week (FL): DAL INF Sean Van Leeuwen (.343, 6 HR, 39 RBI), slapping .655 (19-29) with 6 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): MIL 3B/RF Jesse Sowards (.284, 6 HR, 43 RBI), poking .481 (13-27) with 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Stupid offense.

At one point this week the Raccoons were within two games of first place again, but that was before we went to Colorado and batted oh-for-plenty-thousand-and-three. The entire lineup was mushy all week, except for Contreras taking some rest heat into the week, but that dissipated by the time we hit the road.

Spending three days on a mountaintop, the Raccoons’ batting average with a runner in scoring position was some of the most derelict **** I’ve seen in 96 years in the league: 1-for-25 with 5 RBI; Contreras’ RBI single on Friday was the only hit with a runner on second or third all ******* weekend long! …and Licona’s and LeVan’s RBI groundouts on Friday, Katz’s RBI on Bussotti’s error on Saturday, and V.D.’s sac fly on Sunday brought in *a* run in some fashion or other; by game, they went ******* 1-for-8 on Friday, 0-for-9 on Saturday, and 0-for-8 on Sunday. (fumes!)

In that Katz/Bussotti inning, they went OH-FOR-FOUR WITH RUNNERS IN SCORING POSITION. (froths from the snout!)

Stupid offense.

Nick Walla has snuck into third place in the CL ERA race, but it’s not much of a race right now. Vancouver’s Jay Williams has a lead of 61 points over Walla and 56 points over the Thunder’s Harrison Hunt (8-9, 2.83 ERA). Wait, who? Hunt? That rings a bell that it shouldn’t. And we got essentially all of Cam Jackson for him.

Stupid management.

Three-team homestand coming against the Cyclones, Indians, and Loggers. Seeing the Arrowheads in this constitution could swiftly end our playoff pretender status.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons rank sixth/sixth/seventh in slash stats in the CL, but ninth in runs scored.

Stupid offense.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (64-54) vs. Cyclones (52-65) – August 16-18, 2072

Cincy came in winners of six straight games, not that it was gonna help them any with that record, and … (checks FL East) … okay, maybe they were somehow only nine games out. They ranked sixth in runs scored and eighth in runs allowed. Speed and the pen were the weakest spots on the roster, but they were near the top in defensive rating. Starter Hector Velazquez and first baseman Mike White were on the DL. These teams had last seen each other two years ago, when the Raccoons won two of three games.

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (12-2, 2.88 ERA) vs. John Santamaria (7-10, 4.14 ERA)
Josh Jackson (3-3, 3.65 ERA) vs. Shoma Nakayama (6-7, 3.55 ERA)
Crispino D’Urso (11-5, 3.52 ERA) vs. Gabe Green (10-5, 3.64 ERA)

Santamaria, acquired from the Aces at the deadline, was the only southpaw and would make his fourth start for Cincy.

Game 1
CIN: CF F. Cruz – LF M. Avila – 1B Goodwin – RF A. Gordon – C Arviso – SS R. Ortiz – 2B C. Gutierrez – 3B A.J. Taylor – P Santamaria
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – RF Licona – C Contreras – 1B V.D. Morales – CF Hamel – SS McFarland – P Walla

Walla, who hadn’t lost any of his last ten starts for the Critters (kindly ignoring the All Star Game), got beaten up some right in the first inning with a 2-run double by longtime Titans scourge Jorge Arviso, who drove in Mel Avila (walk) and Curt Goodwin (single). That looked like enough to do him in, even without a stupid run on top of that which he conceded a run on doubles by Carlos Gutierrez and Santamaria (the latter with two outs) in the fourth inning. The Cyclones clobbered him quite good, getting nine hits in six innings against him, while the Raccoons did the thing that almost got them all murdered before getting to the airport in Denver and put a runner on in each of the first four innings, Humph getting on twice, and never scoring any of them, then didn’t reach at all in the fifth.

Katz drew a 1-out walk off Santamaria in the sixth inning and then got doubled home by Contreras with two gone in the bottom 6th, finally putting the team on the board, 3-1. Santamaria then made a 2-2 mistake to V.D. Morales, and V.D. made it a 3-3 game with a long homer to left. Walla was out of the game and narrowly eloped with his unbeaten streak intact, and McMahan and LeVan entered in a double switch, the latter replacing Hamel in center, but didn’t get on base in the bottom 7th before Humph walked with two outs, Yocum singled, and Katz popped out to left to strand them. McMahan got five outs and Cam Jackson got four to get the Raccoons through regulation against the Cyclones, but they still needed a run to win the game on time. Nothing good occurred in the eighth, and the pitcher’s spot then led off the bottom 9th against left-hander Steve Keller. Gonzales and McFarland both struck out, and LeVan flew out to center, sending the game to extras.

Chad Brown had a clean tenth before Humph hit a leadoff single off Keller in the bottom 10th, reaching base for the fourth time in this game. Humph stole second against one of the least attentive lefties in the league, but Yocum fanned and Katz was walked intentionally to play with fire / Licona. But fire grounded to second, and Gutierrez fumbled the ball to load the bases on the error. Contreras rolled into an actual double play to **** that chance away and the team had to play on. David Delgado had a scoreless 11th, then bunted into a force at second after Matt Asplund walked V.D. to begin the bottom of the inning, but the 8-9 hitters didn’t do anything worth their lunch money anyway.

Steve Sramek (sic!) and Fernando Cruz hit 2-out singles off Sullivan in the 12th, but Humph snared Jose Ambriz’ fly to left to end the inning. Sullivan did another inning, then was hit for with Woodley after V.D. clipped a 2-out single against Asplund in the bottom of the 13th, but Woodley got nothing but garbage and eventually walked. McFarland was 0-for-5 in the game, almost got hit for with Luebbert, but then ended the game with a walkoff single to center…! 4-3 Blighters. Humphries 2-4, 2 BB; V.D. Morales 2-4, 2 BB, HR, 2 RBI; Sullivan 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, W (3-0);

Licona had an oh-fer, and it’s nice to see that he has now arrived in Portland and is already fully integrated into the team.

(bites open another bottle of Capt’n Coma)

Game 2
CIN: CF F. Cruz – LF M. Avila – 1B Goodwin – RF A. Gordon – C Arviso – SS R. Ortiz – 2B C. Gutierrez – 3B A.J. Taylor – P Nakayama
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – C Contreras – 1B Woodley – CF LeVan – 3B Luebbert – P J. Jackson

Jorge Arviso had two hits against Jackson in the first five innings, which already described the total hit output by the Cyclones in that timeframe, and one of the times was even doubled up by Robert Ortiz. The Raccoons took an early lead on Humph’s leadoff homer in the bottom 1st, but Licona had between two and four bases robbed by Austin Gordon smashing into the rightfield wall to take a ball off the top of the fence, and mediocrity resumed its rage from there. The Coons had four hits in four innings, one of them by Jackson, who then got instantly forced out on Humph’s grounder, while in the bottom 5th he bunted Luebbert to second base after a 1-out walk drawn by the super utility. Humph drew another walk, and Yocum actually found an RBI knock by singling to center, 2-0. Katz got another walk, and Licona got three more left on base for his ledger, lining out to Fernando Cruz to end the inning.

Cruz’ single and Avila’s 2-run homer in the top 6th then completely reset the game on Jackson and the rest of the unshaven hunchbacks, and Gordon and Arviso reached base to begin the seventh inning against Jackson, but the Cyclones then left those on base with incessant weak contact. Jackson would then be done after seven innings. V.D. batted for him after Luebbert crept on base with a leadoff walk against the long-ago Coon Nakayama, but flew out to right. Luebbert then stole second, and Humph then pumped his second home run of the night, hitting one over the wall in leftfield, just out of reach of Mel Avila, and the Raccoons had their 2-run lead back…! Asplund replaced Nakayama after Yocum singled, then got the free out as Yocum was caught stealing, but then gave up a homer to Katz.

Top 8th, and Rismiller got the ball, getting Matt Murray to pop out in the #9 spot, then loaded the bases with a walk and two singles to the 1-2-3 batters. Rios replaced him against the following left-handers, got Gordon to 2-2, and then gave up a ****** 2-run double to right, moving the tying and go-ahead runs into scoring position. Arviso struck out for the second out in the inning, and Steve Sramek also fell to 2-2 as pinch-hitter, but then hit a fly to right. V.D. had stayed in the game there and made the catch to end the ******* inning. Hits by Contreras and LeVan off Juan Arguelles then clawed back an insurance run in the bottom 8th, and Chad Brown got the 6-4 lead to blow in the ninth, facing the bottom of the order. Marcos Onelas grounded out, as did A.J. Taylor, and a K to Murray ended the game. 6-4 Coons. Humphries 2-3, BB, 2 HR, 3 RBI; Yocum 2-4, RBI; Contreras 2-4, 2B; Luebbert 0-1, 2 BB; J. Jackson 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, W (4-3) and 1-1;

Licona? 2-for-his-last-19.

I’m calm.

(striped tail is smoking)

But for the first time in a bit, the Raccoons moved into second place in the North, as the Crusaders had lost five games in a row and were a gnarly 4-11 in August. We were still 2 1/2 games behind the Arrowheads, though, who’d grace Portland with their presence on the weekend.

Game 3
CIN: CF F. Cruz – LF M. Avila – 1B Goodwin – RF A. Gordon – C Arviso – SS R. Ortiz – 2B C. Gutierrez – 3B A.J. Taylor – P G. Green
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C S. Brown – 3B Gonzales – P D’Urso

Offense threatened to be slow again on Thursday, and the Raccoons scored nothing from a 2-out double by Woodley in the second inning, but then got Humph on base with two outs in the third inning. Humph stole second and scored on a Yocum single to right-center, but Yocum then got caught stealing to end the inning. Meanwhile, Arviso was once again the main on-base presence for Cincy, getting on base with a single his first time up, and then reached by an uncaught third strike the next time, but never made it far around; indeed, he was doubled off by Ortiz at the second occurrence in the fourth inning.

V.D. homered in the fourth to tack on a second run, while Crispy Bear had to work around a Katz error and then a walk to Cruz in the fifth, but held the Cyclones to two hits and no runs through five. Cohesion was then lost in the sixth and he lost both Gordon and Arviso to 1-out walks in full counts, then let the .196 hitter Ortiz hit one deep to center – but Licona rushed back and made a running catch…! There was no catching the artillery shot that Carlos Gutierrez hit on the very next pitch, though, a 3-run homer outta rightfield.

D'Urso left trailing after 6.1 innings, down 3-2 in a game in which both teams had only three hits apiece at the stretch, and the Coons didn’t get better from there, either. McMahan, who replaced Crispy, struck out three of the four batters he faced and all sat down, and we then double-switched Cam Jackson into Woodley’s spot, with LeVan entering the game in centerfield and everybody else shoving over a spot. Jackson struggled to get the third out, putting Ortiz and Gutierrez on base before finally getting a groundout from Taylor, while the Raccoons knocked out Gabe Green with a Brown single and Gonzales double to begin the bottom 8th, putting the tying and go-ahead runs in scoring position… with nobody out! Lefty Marcos Laureano came out to face LeVan, who hit a sac fly to take Crispy Bear off the hook, and then Humph drew another walk. The runners aggressively went for the double steal, and that allowed Yocum to hit another sac fly to Cruz for the go-ahead run. Katz then flew out to left-center, and Jackson remained on the hill to begin the ninth. He gave up a single to Sramek, then K’ed Cruz. The Coons wanted Rios to face the lefty/switch array following, and he struck out Avila before Goodwin made the last out to short, completing a bumpy sweep. 4-3 Critters. Humphries 0-1, 3 BB;

Raccoons (67-54) vs. Indians (69-52) – August 19-21, 2072

The Raccoons had lost many games against the Indians in recent seasons, and were down 4-7 in the season series this year. They couldn’t really afford to lose this series. A sweep of Indy was probably not in the cards, but can you headaches with ears at least win two outta three for your old GM?? Indy ranked fifth in runs scored and fourth in runs allowed with a +33 run differential (Coons: +14). They hit a lotta homers, second in the CL, and also ranked second in the CL in starters’ ERA. They had no injuries right now, and I was struggling to find much reason for confidence.

Projected matchups:
Tony Gaytan (5-8, 3.82 ERA) vs. Jorge Flores (8-5, 3.08 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (9-11, 4.31 ERA) vs. Victor Perez (11-5, 3.71 ERA)
Nick Walla (12-2, 2.94 ERA) vs. Pablo Apodaca (10-10, 4.09 ERA)

Southpaw Sunday? Maybe – the Indians had been off on Thursday, not Monday like the Critters, so they had the rest advantage and an option to skip Willie Castellanos (11-7, 3.86 ERA) into the series. We’d not see their longtime southpaw ace, now in a trying season, Mike DeWitt (10-8, 3.86 ERA) in this go-around.

Game 1
IND: W. Richmond – SS Valadez – CF Hilario – 1B Ma. Rogers – 3B Ma. Martin – RF T. Torres – LF Gamble – C Gillin – P Jo. Flores
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – C Contreras – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – 3B Gonzales – P Gaytan

Walter Richmond and Jose Hilario hit scratch singles in the first inning, but otherwise the Indians popped out often enough to let Gaytan get out of the jam. Gaytan then struck out a pair in the next inning. The Raccoons scattered a Yocum single and V.D. walking in the first two innings, then loaded the bases with two down and their 2-3-4 batters (Licona walking and thus remaining hitless on the week…!) in the bottom 3rd. Contreras flew out to Tony Torres on the first pitch though, and nobody scored.

It was left to Edgar Gonzales to get some scoring done with a 2-out solo homer in the fourth inning. Gaytan then hit a single, was left on by Humph, and that appeared to be *it* for offense, and now it was about hoping that Gaytan wouldn’t let one fly himself.

By the seventh in a 1-0 game I caught myself thinking that Gaytan hadn’t really allowed any hard and long contact in the entire game, and just then Matt Martin hit a booming drive to deep left, high and long and FOUL. Yikes. Martin then grounded out to Yocum on the next pitch. Gaytan got through eight from there, striking out Chris Gamble and Pete Gillin in the eighth before popping out PH Brent Layell. There was room in the pitch count to go into the ninth, but the top of the order would come up, and there wasn’t a right-handed batter in there until Martin at #5. The Coons chickened out and sent McMahan, who struck out Richmond, then got met with a pinch-hitter, and gave up back-to-back singles to left to Nate Marazzo and the switch-hitting Hilario. J.P. Jack batted for Rogers, forcing a move to a right-hander. Cam Jackson came in, got a bouncer to Yocum, and the Coons turned the 4-6-3 double play…! 1-0 Blighters. Yocum 2-4; Gonzales 1-3, HR, RBI; Gaytan 8.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 7 K, W (6-8) and 1-3;

Squeeze job!

Licona? 0-16 and 2-25. Luis Silva says he still has pulse.

Game 2
IND: 3B Ma. Martin – SS Valadez – CF Hilario – 2B W. Richmond – 1B Ma. Rogers – RF T. Torres – LF Marazzo – C Gillin – P V. Perez
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – C Contreras – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – 3B Gonzales – P Wharton

Jimmy was the only Raccoon to reach base the first time through and scattered a couple of walks himself in the early going, so I had a feeling of impending doom. He allowed only one hit to Rogers against three strikeouts and three walks through five innings, in which nobody scored for either team, and the contact that was made off him wasn’t even very loud. There were still only three hits in the game by the bottom 6th, when Gonzales hit another high fly to left, but this one wasn’t long enough and came down in Marazzo’s mitten on the edge of the warning track. Jimmy then batted with one out… and BRAWLED a fastball over the fence for a home run…!!! Whatever works!

The rest of the offense surely didn’t as Humph drew a walk after that, but then was left on base. Licona drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 7th, but Josh C(arrington) then mowed down the next three batters. Jimmy had retired the three left-handed batters in the 4-5-6 spots in order in the seventh and was still going in the eighth, entering on 77 pitches. A leadoff walk to Marazzo didn’t bode well, but Gillin struck out, Cesar Pena grounded out, and Matt Martin also struck out. But three of the counts ran long, and the Raccoons batted for Jimmy in the bottom 8th, sending Hamel to cash a strikeout against Josh C, who then walked Humph. Yocum grounded out to end the inning, and Rismiller was sent into the ninth inning. Jack pinch-hit for Josh C in the #2 spot and fanned, and Hilario grounded out. He then walked Richmond on four pitches and got yanked for Rios. The Indians answered with Alex Gomez to bat for Rogers, a bold choice for sure, and Gomez struck out give the Coons their second straight blink-and-you-miss-it win. 1-0 Blighters! Wharton 8.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 6 K, W (10-11) and 2-2, HR, RBI;

(blinks)

Game 3
IND: 2B W. Richmond – SS Valadez – CF Hilario – 1B Ma. Rogers – 3B Ma. Martin – RF T. Torres – LF Layell – C Gillin – P Apodaca
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – RF V.D. Morales – C Contreras – 1B Woodley – CF Hamel – SS McFarland – P Walla

Runs being the price of kidneys continued to be the case on Sunday, as Walla allowed a walk to Rogers, who was caught stealing, the first time through, facing the minimum against three strikeouts, while the Raccoons had A HIT in the first inning when Yocum singled. Katz walked after him, but neither V.D. nor Contreras could get a run home and made poor outs instead.

Hitting Richmond to begin the fourth wasn’t the best strategy, but turned out that giving up a homer to Rogers was worse, as it gave the Arrowheads a 2-0 lead… To anybody’s surprise, the Coons matched the challenge in the bottom of the inning with a leadoff single by Morales and then a homer to left by Contreras! Walla then had to step around a leadoff walk in the fifth, but hit a leadoff single himself in the frame. Humph walked, and then it got gooey again as two outs were made before Apodaca threw a wild pitch to advance the runners, then lost V.D. on balls. Contreras grounded out to short to leave the bags full…

Walla then got torn up in the sixth, getting a groundout from Apodaca before Richmond hit a double in the gap, Valdez knocked an RBI single and was forced out by Hilario, and then Rogers and Martin cracked another pair of 2-out RBI hits to kick Walla out in a 5-2 game. Delgado kept the remaining runner stranded and pitched the seventh, and the Raccoons then tumbled into another 2-out spot with the tying run at the dish as V.D. batted against Josh C with Yocum and Katz on base in the bottom 7th. His fly to left was caught by Layell. Instead, a Yocum error cost an unearned run behind Chad Brown in the eighth, and the aspect of sitting in first place to end the week receded over the horizon.

Despite knowing better, the Raccoons sent Licona to bat for Brown in the bottom 8th after Justin Esch replaced Josh C, who had just walked a pair in Woodley and Hamel. Licona flew out to right, ending the inning, and I was screaming into my paws. Left-hander Felix Morales then struck out Humph to begin the ninth before Yocum and Katz hit singles. V.D. flew out to center, as did Contreras. 6-2 Indians. Yocum 2-5; Katzman 2-4, BB;

In other news

August 15 – Nicaragua’s Finest, SAC OF/1B Tony Rivera (.255, 5 HR, 30 RBI) is a triple shy of the cycle and knocks in five runs in a 15-5 beating of the Thunder.
August 16 – Falcons SP Joe Allen (8-11, 4.12 ERA) misses the rest of the season after tearing his rotator cuff.
August 17 – Sioux Falls CL Erik Swain (4-1, 2.41 ERA, 28 SV) joins the 500 saves club by putting away a 2-1 game against the Knights – ironically the team he pitched for in five seasons over two stints, getting 183 of those 500 saves. Swain is a 5-time Reliever of the Year and in 2070 was even the CL Pitcher of the Year. For his career, he’s 66-59 with a 2.71 ERA and 1,076 strikeouts in 972 innings.
August 17 – Rebs SP Tim Barr (13-5, 2.96 ERA) ends the season on the DL with a strained rotator cuff.
August 17 – SAC OF/1B Tony Rivera (.259, 5 HR, 30 RBI) will miss the rest of the season with a torn back muscle.
August 17 – Richmond trades CL Seth Strange (5-6, 3.75 ERA, 20 SV) to the Bayhawks for two prospects.
August 19 – A groin strain could put Rebels 1B David Cline (.273, 5 HR, 53 RBI) out for the rest of the season.

Player of the Week (FL): WAS RF/3B/1B Pete McKenna (.209, 10 HR, 48 RBI), punching .440 (11-25) with 3 HR, 9 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): SFB C/1B Lodewijk Bras (.258, 2 HR, 12 RBI), slapping .667 (12-18) with 2 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Sunday ended Walla’s unbeaten streak and probably his ERA title campaign that was never really on until earlier this month. It also flushed down the toilet the chance to lead the division without having to share for the first time since June 29.

Juan Licona. Yes, still got a pulse. From being acquired to August 12, he batted .354 with three homers and 10 RBI for the Raccoons. He had 8 K in 12 games. He then went hitless in the middle game in Denver, had another 2-for-5 on Sunday, and this week batted … a big Oh-for-19 with 7 K.

The big Oh stands for Oregon.

Add Katz not hitting, Yocum not hitting, and the supporting characters hitting only in spots and never with a runner in scoring position, and the Raccoons are reliant on their ******* pitchers hitting homers to win a game 1-0. We’re down to tenth in runs scored, just above the Crusaders. The only team well off at the bottom are the .350 Thunder, who have 44 fewer runs than the Coons.

Tony Gaytan has quietly pitched 27.2 innings of 0.98 ERA ball in his last four starts. He’s gone a sturdy 1-1 in the W-L column.

Playoff material?

The Loggers will clean house here for the next three days and then we’ll be on the road for the rest of the month, visiting Oklahoma City and Vegas. Rosters will expand by the time we get home for a single-team homestand against the Titans.

Fun Fact: Jimmy Wharton not only out-hit the Indians, 2-1, on Saturday, but also his own team by the same tally.

Why do we even bother signing batters?

[Westheim]

Raccoons (69-55) vs. Loggers (68-56) – August 22-24, 2072

The Raccoons ran into the Loggers just as the division tightened up even further, which couldn’t be good news for us. The #1 offense in the league had a habit of battering the Critters, even when their pitching staff was also giving up the third-most runs. There was no speed, no defense, no rotation – just a high OBP and raw power with 142 homers in 124 games. The season series was even at six, which was a borderline success for the Raccoons. The Loggers also arrived without starter Mike Bell and key position players Fidel Carrera and Sean McLaughlin.

Projected matchups:
Josh Jackson (4-3, 3.51 ERA) vs. Julio Robles (8-6, 5.17 ERA)
Crispino D’Urso (11-5, 3.56 ERA) vs. Matt Crist (11-9, 4.45 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (6-8, 3.62 ERA) vs. Ayahito Ochi (8-8, 4.76 ERA)

We got their three worst starters by ERA, and only one of the three left-handers, Ochi.

Game 1
MIL: 1B C. Ramirez – 3B Sowards – RF C. Dominguez – LF Frank – SS Fish – CF E. Mullen – C Pavlacka – 2B Vic. Morales – P Ju. Robles
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C S. Brown – 3B Gonzales – P J. Jackson

First of all, Juan Licona hit a single in the first inning, in which both teams scored 2-out runs. Jackson conceded one on Jon Fish’s RBI single after putting Cesar Ramirez (walk) and Carlos Dominguez (single) on base; but the Coons got two on Josh Woodley’s bases-loaded single to right-center with Yocum (nicked), Licona, and V.D. Morales (walk) on base. Sam Brown then had a soft fly to shallow left taken on the run by Ken Frank to end the inning.

After that early pack of runs, offense got quiet for a while; Frank hit a double in the third, and the Coons scattered a couple of singles for no effect, and so Jesse Sowards’ score-flipping 2-run homer after a leadoff single by Ramirez in the fifth inning rang all the louder. It was the only major blip in a solid outing for Josh Jackson in which he struck out eight batters in six innings, but the Raccoons didn’t seem to have an answer. Brown and Gonzales reached base with two gone in the bottom 6th, leading to LeVan to bat for Jackson, but he grounded out to ex-Coon Victor Morales and that was that.

Rios got two outs and Cam Jackson one more in the seventh before Humph drew a leadoff walk from Robles in the bottom 7th. He advanced on a grounder, then went for home on a Katz single to right-center. Dominguez’ throw as off the line and he scored easily, finally tying the game at three. Katz went up to second, but the Loggers walked Licona intentionally and then sent Danny Mendoza after V.D., who snuck a single through the right side to load the bags. Woodley then smashed into a 3-6-1 double play, because why bring in more runs? Why win?

Brown’s leadoff single and walks drawn by Hamel and Humph then loaded the bases in the bottom 8th. Justin Cullum came in to see Yocum, they ran a full count, and then Yocum grounded to short. An inning-ending double play was possible for the second straight frame – but not turned, and the Coons got the go-ahead run across, with a gasp, as Yocum beat out Vic Morales’ throw to first. Katz flew out to Frank, ending the inning, and then Rismiller developed a new strategy to save games. After he issued a 1-out walk to Ramirez in the top 9th, he got Sowards to pop out, but that brought up Carlos Dominguez (.346, 16 HR, 81 RBI). Rather than give up a 2-run homer, Rismiller battered Dominguez out of the game with a fastball into his ankle – which did not amuse the Loggers – but Ramirez and his pinch-runner Tommy Pritchard were stranded when Frank struck out to end the game. 4-3 Raccoons. Licona 2-3, BB; Woodley 2-4, 2 RBI; S. Brown 2-4;

Dominguez would miss the remaining games in the series with a foot contusion, which might lead to revenge…

Game 2
MIL: 1B C. Ramirez – 3B Sowards – RF J. Wright – LF Frank – SS Hills – CF E. Mullen – C Pavlacka – 2B Fish – P Crist
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – C Contreras – 1B Woodley – CF LeVan – 3B Gonzales – P D’Urso

Ken Frank hit a home run to put the Loggers up 1-0 against Crispy Bear, who got his 100th strikeout in this game, and allowed three hits in the fifth inning, as Fish, Ramirez, and Sowards all singled, but nobody scored since Fish had been caught trying to steal third base. The Coons had four walks drawn and hit into two double plays before Edgar Gonzales finally got a single for the H column with two gone in the bottom 5th and was left on base by Crispy…

Even when the Coons didn’t hit into a double play, they couldn’t ******* score, like in the bottom 6th when Humph drew a leadoff walk and Yocum singled. The two did the double steal, and still were stranded on three poor outs by the 3-4-5 batters, who flew out to shallow right, grounded out to first, and flew out to left, in that order… The Gonzales and Yocum singles were the brown team’s only base hits in seven innings, and he was still 1-0 behind when he got hit for to begin the bottom 8th. Hamel, Humph, and Yocum disappeared without leaving paw prints on the bases, and only Humph gave the defense some bother, sending back Eddie Mullen to make a catch in deep center. Chad Brown then held the game close in the ninth, retiring the Loggers in order, while Crist took his 2-hitter into the bottom 9th himself. Katz grounded to third, and a bad throw by Sowards pulled Ramirez off first base, allowing Katz to reach on an error. Licona grounded out, moving the runner to second, and Contreras grounded to second base, and Brian Hills made the second error of the inning with another sub-par throw. Doubly unearned runners were on the corners for Woodley, who lobbed a single over the head of Hills to tie the game. After LeVan popped out, V.D. batted for Gonzales, but drew another walk off Crist, who was somehow still pitching. Sam Brown pinch-hit for Chad Brown, lined out to right, and the Coons couldn’t ******* walk it off, despite TWO Loggers errors in the ******* inning…!!

Todd Sullivan got the ball in the tenth and right away gave up a leadoff double to PH Travis Metcalf in the #7 spot. Fish grounded out and Vic Morales hit a sac fly to break the tie; but the Coons got Humph on base with his 35th leadoff walk of the game, and the first off Omar Vences, Yocum’s groundout moved him to second, and Katz singled to tie it back up in the bottom 10th. Vences walked Licona, Contreras hit a scratch single to load them up with one out, and Woodley rolled a ball over the second base bag that eluded Fish and Hills, and walked off the Critters. 3-2 Blighters. Humphries 0-1, 4 BB; Woodley 2-5, 2 RBI; D’Urso 8.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K;

The Indians and Crusaders began a 3-game set in New York on Tuesday and played 11 innings before anybody scored. It was the home team, and the 1-0 walkoff sent the Raccoons into first place by half a game.

Game 3
MIL: 1B C. Ramirez – 3B Sowards – RF J. Wright – LF Frank – SS Hills – CF E. Mullen – C Pavlacka – 2B Vic. Morales – P Ochi
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – C Contreras – RF Licona – 1B V.D. Morales – CF Hamel – 3B Gonzales – P Gaytan

Gaytan was not a good match against the Loggers and gave up two runs right in the first inning. Sowards drew a walk and Frank and Hills both knocked an RBI hit with two down in the inning. After that, strikeouts were few, and high fly balls were plenty, but perplexingly, the Loggers couldn’t get them over the fence (but they sure tried to wear out Humphries in leftfield). The Raccoons were again offensively absent and only got an unearned run in the bottom 3rd. Humph drew a leadoff walk, stole second, and then scored on an error by Frank on a ball hit to left by Yocum. Katz got another walk, but the inning didn’t really continue anywhere pretty from there.

Gaytan looked sufficiently badly to get hit for when he led off the bottom 5th despite the score being only 2-1. The Critters did nothing against Ochi, who had hit two singles off Gaytan and was sad to see him gone, in he inning, but Ochi also pitched only five innings before walking Katz to begin the bottom 6th and being yanked for Carlos Gonzalez. The right-hander gave up a double to Contreras, and now the Raccoons had the tying run at third, the go-ahead run at second, nobody out, and so many options to not score. Licona grounding sharply to Vic Morales was a nice start for a useless first out. V.D. walked, filling the bases and presenting Hamel with a double play chance. But Hamel, whose playing time had decreased a lot since the Licona trade, declined the option and instead chose violence with a high fly to deep left, and if it could be bothered to stay fair that would be greatly appreciated – GRAAAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!!

Ramirez singled off McMahan to begin the seventh, but Sowards hit into a double play, and the Loggers ultimately went 1-2-3 in both this inning and the next against Rismiller. The Coons emptied the bench in the bottom 8th after Hamel hit a double to left-center against Cullum, and Nick Luebbert got in an extra runner for a 6-2 lead when he poked an RBI single. Chad Brown then finished off the sweep of the Loggers. 6-2 Furballs! Katzman 1-1, 3 BB; Hamel 3-3, BB, HR, 2B, 4 RBI; Luebbert (PH) 1-1, RBI; S. Brown (PH) 1-1;

The Crusaders won another 1-0 squeezer on Wednesday, but then lost the finale on Thursday (our off day), 9-7. This meant the Raccoons were now up one game on both of the Crusaders and Indians, with the Loggers having fallen to four games out.

After this sweep of the oddly toothless Loggers, let’s look like a bunch of asylum inmates against the .349 Thunder…!

Raccoons (72-55) @ Thunder (44-82) – August 26-28, 2072

The Raccoons had so far won all six games they had played against the Thunder this year. Oklahoma was bottoms in runs scored (by a margin) and bottoms in runs allowed (by an even bigger margin). They had a -244 run differential (!!) with 36 games to play. They had started the season 19-9, and had gone 25-73 (.255) since. Their 9-14 August was shaping up to be their second-best month of the season. They were bottoms or next-to-bottoms in all major team stats except for stolen bases (5th). They had a dire lineup, only two solid starting pitchers, and a bullpen with an ERA north of six, and three guys currently in it with an ERA over seven. They had seven left-handed pitchers on the roster, which was not going to be great for them against *this* team. Or so you’d think. It’s the Raccoons. Expect the brainlessness.

Projected matchups:
Jimmy Wharton (10-11, 4.10 ERA) vs. Harrison Hunt (9-10, 3.04 ERA)
Nick Walla (12-3, 3.10 ERA) vs. Jose Aguilar (5-10, 5.60 ERA)
Josh Jackson (4-3, 3.61 ERA) vs. Ray Rath (5-13, 5.00 ERA)

Rath was the only right-hander in the rotation. The Thunder had been off on Thursday, so they could skip another lefty into the series in Danny Baca (6-7, 3.71 ERA).

And then the series opened with a rainout. Good start.

While we were idle, the Crusaders had a 13th-inning, 5-3 walkoff against the Aces, and the Indians lost 5-3 to the Falcons.

Game 1
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – C Contreras – RF Licona – 1B V.D. Morales – CF Hamel – 3B Gonzales – P Wharton
OCT: CF J. Reyes – SS Maciel – 1B I. Stone – LF Talavera – 2B Ang. Flores – RF J. Evans – C A. Rivera – 3B Reed – P Hunt

The Raccoons scored an early run as Humph walked, Yocum doubled, and following a K for Katz, Contreras hit an RBI groundout at Angelo Flores. Yocum remained on base. The Coons then had nothing better to do than to turn that into a 2-1 deficit in the bottom of the inning, as Jimmyboy allowed Juan Maciel on base, who stole second and reached third on Contreras’ throwing error, and then Ian Stone smacked a home run. Those two were good for another run two innings later when Maciel tripled and Stone singled him home, with no major Portland heroics in between.

Hunt, a former Raccoon no less, then of course ticked off 15 straight batters before allowing a 2-out single to Yocum in the sixth inning. Katz’ bouncer to short ended that inning. While Wharton was kept alive with double play grounders the Thunder hit once somebody got on base, Contreras grounded out to begin the seventh inning, but Licona hit a home run to shorten the score to 3-2. V.D. hit another long fly after that, but was retired by Jake Evans. With two out, Hamel doubled to left-center, but Gonzales flew out to Evans.

Jimmy held on for seven innings, then was pinch-hit for with McFarland in the eighth, but the Coons went down in order once more against Hunt, who then got hit for himself with Mike Mabe. The Thunder’s idea of a closer in a 3-2 game against a first-place team was right-hander Luis Ramirez and his 6.52 ERA. Katz banged a double off the wall in right to begin the inning, then advanced on a groundout by Contreras. Licona got a 3-1 count from Ramirez… then grounded out poorly, and Katz had to stay at third base. V.D. fell to two strikes … but Ramirez fell to a wild pitch that tied the bloody ballgame. V.D. walked, but Hamel popped out and the game went to extra innings after David Delgado held off the Thunder in the bottom of the inning.

Maciel’s error put Gonzales on base to start the tenth inning. LeVan batted for Delgado, but by the time he singled, Gonzales had been caught stealing. LeVan *did* steal second, got balked to third by Ramirez, and then scored on a 2-out single by Yocum, who was then … caught stealing. Cam Jackson got the ball in the bottom of the inning, allowed a leadoff single to Arturo Rivera immediately, and then got David Reed to ground out. PH Jérome Martini singled to right, the Thunder sent Rivera, and Hamel declined the request and threw him out at the plate; Martini moved up to second base on two outs, but Jon Reyes flew out to LeVan in center to end the game. 4-3 Blighters. Yocum 3-5, 2B, RBI; LeVan (PH) 1-1;

Oh my … bwoah.

The Thunder then opted for Rath in the late game, leading the Raccoons to empty the bench when presented with an opposite-handed starter.

Game 2
POR: 1B Woodley – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – LF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – CF LeVan – C S. Brown – 3B Luebbert – P Walla
OCT: CF J. Reyes – SS Maciel – 1B I. Stone – C O. Matos – RF Talavera – 2B Ang. Flores – LF J. Evans – 3B Mabe – P Rath

Game two began with a pair of singles and a run on two productive outs as Licona legged out the return throw on a grounder to short with runners on the corners, getting Woodley home. Morales then popped out. Like Wharton, Walla couldn’t hold on, allowing a leadoff single to Reyes himself, who stole his 45th and 46th bases and scored on Stone’s groundout in the bottom 1st… Of course it then got WORSE as Flores singled and Evans whacked a homer in the bottom 2nd, giving the ******* Thunder a 3-1 lead.

Yocum got on base with two gone in the third, but Katz grounded out. The fourth then began with Rath missing generously to both Licona and V.D. for walks, and LeVan singled to fill the bases with nobody out. The Coons didn’t ******* score, because Brown hit a grounder to third for Mabe firing home to kill off the lead runner, Luebbert popped out, and Walla grounded out to Mabe again. The tying runs were in scoring position with nobody retired AGAIN in the fifth as Woodley and Yocum led off with singles, and Evans overran the latter ball for extra bases for the pair. Katz hit another grounder to third base, but this one actually got past Mabe for an RBI single, just before my head could burst off the neck. Licona grounded out poorly, advancing only Katz, but not Yocum from third base. V.D. then lined out to ******* Mike Mabe, and LeVan grounded out to some other dismal ****** on the infield.

Somehow the game got tied in the sixth between Luebbert drawing a walk from Randy Nichols, stealing second, and then being singled home by WALLA, who couldn’t get a bunt down…! (shrugs in despair) Woodley then singled softly, and Yocum zinged an RBI double to left, putting Portland up 4-3. Katz got an intentional walk, and Licona, with the bags full, got a fresh lefty in Kevin Anderson and his 10.67 ERA. The big knock we deserved didn’t happen, but Licona’s grounder was only cut off well behind second base by Angelo Flores, who had no play, and the infield single extended the score to 5-3. V.D. hit a sac fly, Hamel batted for LeVan and walked, and Brown left the bases loaded with a fly to center. And then Walla ran into a 2-run homer by Angelo Flores in the bottom of the inning.

Up 6-5, and with all good fortune used up, the Coons left Woodley and Yocum on the corners in the seventh while scratching up outs with Sullivan (four) and Rios (two) to get through eight. After Brown, Luebbert, and Humph went in order in the top 9th, Rismiller got the ball against the Thunder’s 7-8-9 batters. He walked the leadoff man Evans (double facepaws!!), who was run for with Eduardo Zambrano, who quickly gained ground, running on consecutive groundouts by Mabe and Rivera to get to third base for Reyes. Rismiller had him at 2-2, then gave up a game-tying single to right. ******* ************. Reyes stole second, but Martini grounded out to send the game to extras.

Yocum got on and was doubled off by Katz in the tenth, which Rismiller still pitched as punishment for his crimes, walking Stone to lead off but somehow not getting hung with a walkoff loss. McMahan pitched the 11th, but Josh Jackson was now in the pen warming up, since McMahan was the Coons’ last reliever in this double header. McMahan held up for two frames, despite Reyes hitting a walkoff single in the 12th. He was forced out by Martini, who then stole second, but remained on base as Stone fanned and Oscar Matos flew out to right.

When Jackson entered the 6-6 game in the bottom 13th, he immediately gave up rockets. Victor Talavera flew out to the Coons’ third centerfielder of the day, Luebbert, and Licona had to run after a Flores drive to take away extra bases. Reed *did* get extra bases with a double, Mabe walked, but the Thunder were out of sticks and reliever Alex Nunez popped out to short. The ******* Coons didn’t get on ******* base at all anymore, and instead Reyes slapped a leadoff double to begin the bottom 14th, which of course was the end of the game. Martini’s grounder sent him to third, and Stone’s solid single to right handed the braindead Roadkills a loss they very much deserved. 7-6 Thunder. Woodley 3-6, BB; Yocum 5-6, BB, 2B, RBI; McMahan 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

******* *******.

The Crusaders beat the Aces, 4-3, to draw even atop the CL North. Indy got rained out in Charlotte.

Pitching plans were now shot of course, but for Sunday we could still use Crispy Bear (11-5, 3.42 ERA) on regular rest, and there’d be Gaytan on Monday. Today, though – precious little pen available. Did I mention the chance of rain yet?

Game 3
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – C Contreras – RF Licona – 1B V.D. Morales – CF Hamel – SS McFarland – P D’Urso
OCT: CF J. Reyes – SS Maciel – 1B I. Stone – C O. Matos – RF Talavera – 2B Ang. Flores – LF Thore – 3B Mabe – P D. Baca

The Coons again scored first in the rubber game, but this time it took until the second inning, where Licona went deep to right for his 22nd of the year, and his fifth homer in Coons colors. For a welcome change, Crispy didn’t blow the lead as soon as he got to it, and the Raccoons – hh!! – even tacked on a run on three straight singles by the 1-2-3 batters in the top of the third!

It remained a flimsy lead though, and the bottom 5th began with a infield single for Flores, and once Coby Thore hit a proper single to left, I knew that it was gone. Mabe and Baca groundouts plated a run, the unretireable Reyes walked, and Maciel slipped a 2-out RBI single through the left side to tie the ******* game. Stone grounded out to Katz to leave a pair on base.

Back to square one, Licona socked a leadoff jack in the seventh to break this tie. V.D. flew out to right, but Hamel singled on 0-2, stole his 10th base of the year, and then came home from second on a McFarland single to left-center, 4-2. Thore led off the post-stretch times with a single, but got doubled up by Mike Mabe, and pinch-runner Zambrano pinch-hit instead and struck out. Mike Blanchard had the ball for the eighth and conceded a single to Yocum, who stole *two* bases, and scored on the latter attempt as Matos’ throw skipped over Mabe’s glove. Katz gained a base behind him, having walked, and then scored on a Contreras single, 6-2. Lupe Arguijo (who?) replaced Blanchard, but gave up a 2-run homer to V.D., another homer back-to-back to Hamel, a single to McFarland, and then ANOTHER homer to Humphries! That 7-run inning put the game away; Crispy Bear went seven and two thirds decent innings, and Delgado collected the last four outs in a blowout. 11-2 Furballs. Humphries 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Yocum 3-5; Licona 2-5, 2 HR, 2 RBI; Hamel 2-4, HR, RBI; McFarland 2-4, RBI; D’Urso 7.2 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, W (12-5);

FINALLY SOME ******* OFFENSE!!!

In other news

August 22 – The Knights suffer a blow with news that catcher Justin Hart (.281, 14 HR, 77 RBI) has suffered a torn labrum and might not only miss the rest of this season, but also the start of next season.
August 23 – The Miners beat the Cyclones, 14-11 in a free-for-all. PIT 2B Matthew Selep (.313, 6 HR, 35 RBI) hits four singles, a double, and drives in three, while Miners OF Anthony Schneider (.291, 14 HR, 62 RBI) goes 4-for-4 with a 3-run homer and 5 RBI against his old team.
August 24 – The Warriors beat the Scorpions, 15-4, with the help of three doubles, a single, and five RBI from OF David Jankowski (.284, 4 HR, 36 RBI).
August 26 – CIN C Jorge Arviso (.220, 16 HR, 43 RBI) sends his 300th career home run over the fence in a 3-2 win against the Scorpions.
August 27 – NAS LF/1B/RF Tony Roman (.224, 17 HR, 53 RBI) makes it 400 career home runs in a 6-5 loss to the Pacifics. It wasn’t the 37-year-old Roman’s fault, as he went 3-for-3 with two RBI and gets the milestone homer off LAP SP/MR Carlos Gomez (4-1, 3.56 ERA). Roman has spent his entire career with Nashville, hitting .251 with 2,078 hits, 1,253 RBI, and 108 stolen bases. He led the FL in home runs four times, including most recently in 2070, and with as many as 40 in a season.
August 27 – The Gold Sox make three errors, but land only one hit, a single by C/1B Mike Brann (.228, 5 HR, 17 RBI) in a combined 6-0 shutout between PIT SP Tom Kies (7-9, 4.15 ERA) and two relievers.

Player of the Week (FL): RIC UT Travis Bickerton (.255, 9 HR, 49 RBI), hitting .526 (10-19) with 2 HR, 5 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): BOS C/1B Ruben Perez (.273, 6 HR, 43 RBI), batting .550 (11-20) with 1 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Gotta leave it to this spineless team – not everybody can fight a terminal .350 opponent to a draw across 24 senseless innings across a double header. I’m still hitting my head against the door frame, but I’m still not numb enough. Few things make me as mad as when a pretender group plays like the first humans against a last-place team…!!

The Crusaders lost on Sunday and the Indians swept their own double header, meaning the Raccoons had a 1-game lead over both of them by Sunday night. The Loggers still lingered four games back. They had the best run differential though (+69). The Coons had the worst at +27. Well, just look how they play their freebies…!!

Jesus Morentin went on a rehab assignment to AAA on the weekend. There wasn’t any room in the outfield for him anyway right now, but this spared us having to make a roster move before the rosters would expand next Friday.

We go home by Vegas for three tough games. We’ll be off on Expansion Day, then play the Titans for three games at home ahead of a 3-city road trip through the division.

Fun Fact: Jorge Arviso has hit for seven Platinum Sticks as catcher.

The Titans signed him as a scouting discovery out of the Dominican Republic in 2051, and he made his major league debut in ’57. He became the primary catcher in Boston the next year and remained in the job for 11 seasons before signing with Cincy as free agent after the 2068 season. Between 2060 and 2071 he played 12 consecutive seasons of appearing in 143+ games, and was an offensive force in all of them. His playing time has slightly diminished this year at age 38, but he’s still hitting for a 114 OPS+ despite the meager batting average.

Arviso won four rings in his career, split equally between the Titans (2063, 2066) and Cyclones (2069, 2070). He led the CL in RBI and slugging once each, but never in homers, despite a career high of 29 in a single season. The high average was never his thing, but he’s drawn over 1,600 walks in his career for a .258/.396/.424 slash and 1,885 hits, 300 homers, 1,141 RBI; and he was the 2062 CL Player of the Year as well.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (74-56) @ Aces (77-52) – August 29-31, 2072

Division leaders faced off once more to end the month of August, and the Aces had a 4-2 edge in the season series. Huh. Funny. That’s how the 2071 CLCS ended, too. Vegas had the highest team batting average at .290 (!), stole bases like crazy, and the only stat in which they didn’t rank in the top 3 in the CL was homers (5th). They had a +143 run differential, an 8 1/2 game lead in the South, and if the Raccoons actually won the division, I didn’t really know yet how we’d plan to stink up to them in a CLCS this time around.

Projected matchups:
Tony Gaytan (6-8, 3.62 ERA) vs. Harrison Bucci (12-8, 3.16 ERA)
Josh Jackson (4-4, 3.68 ERA) vs. Tim Henderson (14-4, 3.93 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (10-11, 4.09 ERA) vs. Danny Ryba (4-3, 4.07 ERA)

Bucci was one more left-hander to face – probably the only one this week.

Jackson threw 23 pitches in that stupid 14-inning loss to the Thunder in the Saturday double header and was probably good for four to five innings on two days’ rest – we’d have to work our way around it from there. Rosters would only expand after the conclusion of this series.

Game 1
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – C Contreras – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – CF Hamel – 3B Gonzales – P Gaytan
LVA: 2B Jim. Williams – CF Seybert – C Haynes – RF Phelps – SS Hatakeyama – 3B Rodewald – 1B Lawyer – LF McGrew – P Bucci

At least the Critters jumped out to a quick lead. Humph drew a leadoff walk to begin the game, was forced out by Yocum, but Yocum stole second, scored on a Katz single to left, and Contreras bashed an RBI double to right-center. Woodley got a 2-out walk, but Hamel’s fly to deep center was caught by Adam Seybert to end the inning. They then took a shortcut in the third inning as Yocum doubled and scored on a Contreras single with no involvement by Katz. In between, Gaytan had already scattered four runners in two innings, one of whom (Jimmy Williams) was caught stealing, and one more (Koji Hatakeyama) was thrown out at home plate by Humphries. Soon enough, Gaytan gave up runs, though, nailing Chris Haynes to begin the bottom 4th. Contreras chipped in a passed ball, but Hatakeyama hit an RBI double, stole third, and scored on a sac fly by Matt Rodewald, 3-2, before Jay Lawyer hit another 2-out single, but was left on by Luke McGrew’s pop to shallow right.

The rest of the lead was blown in due time, because Gaytan remained crummy. Bucci hit a leadoff single in the fifth, but that tying run never got off first base; but Josh Phelps’ 20th homer of the year tied the game in the bottom 6th well enough. The Coons had only four hits through six innings, but Jack Hamel buried a triple in the gap to lead off the seventh inning. Edgar Gonzales then did his best to start another runner-on-third, nobody-out, no-runs cavalcade, but Rodewald actually flubbed his grounder for an error, and Hamel scored on the play to give the Coons a 4-3 lead. Bucci then mishandled Gaytan’s bunt with an attempt on Gonzales at second, but didn’t get anybody on that ill-advised fielder’s choice, and Humph walked to fill the bags with nobody out. Yocum then hit a grounder for an out at the plate, and Katz smashed into a double play. Can anybody hear get a clutch hit???

Gaytan didn’t get another out, putting McGrew on base with a single and Danny Perez with four balls in the bottom 7th, then had McMahan and Cam Jackson clean up behind him, stranding the runners in scoring position. The Coons used their premium bat off the bench in the eighth once Brad Fales failed V.D. and Woodley on base and there were two outs with the #8 spot coming up, but Fails walked Juan Licona without offering something to bash. LeVan batted for the pitcher and slipped an RBI single through the right side, and Humph drew a bases-loaded walk off Fails; Yocum then popped out to short, leaving three on base.

Chad Brown got the ball for the bottom 8th, but immediately **** on the 6-3 lead, put Hatakeyama on base, and gave up a 2-run homer to Rodewald. McGrew got on with two down, Rios replaced Brown, allowed another single to John Harmsen in the #9 hole, and then finally got out of the ******* inning on Williams’ groundout. Katz and V.D. hit singles off Daniel Richmond in the ninth, but Woodley found a double play to blunder into. Rismiller got the ball for the bottom 9th; Joe Jackson flew out to center, but Haynes singled. But Rismiller found something more, struck out Phelps, and struck out Hatakeyama to end the game. 6-5 Critters. Katzman 2-5, RBI; Contreras 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; LeVan (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Game 2
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C S. Brown – 3B Gonzales – P J. Jackson
LVA: 2B Jim. Williams – CF Seybert – C Haynes – RF Phelps – SS Hatakeyama – 3B Rodewald – 1B Lawyer – LF Harmsen – P T. Henderson

Chances were missed aplenty in the early innings as on the Coons’ side, Yocum was caught stealing in the first, the bags were loaded with an intentional walk to Gonzales to get the third out from Jackson in the second, and Katz hit into a double play to wrap up Humph in the third inning; but the Aces were not much better early on, as Seybert also hit into a double play in the first, and Phelps’ leadoff double in the second wasn’t followed up by anybody with three poor outs from the 5-6-7 hitters.

The game remained scoreless through five, Woodley chipping in another double play grounder for good measure. Jackson covered five innings on an economical 62 pitches, but being sent into the bottom 6th put Williams on base, who stole his 49th base of the year, then gave up bombs to Haynes and Hatakeyama and was dismissed down 3-0. Delgado and LeVan entered in a double switch that also lifted Morales, but the lefty gave up *another* homer to Rodewald in that inning, and ANOTHER homer to Harmsen in the seventh. He then put Joe Jackson and Seybert on the corners before being yanked for Todd Sullivan, but the Aces scored another run when Seybert took off for second, Brown threw the ball away, and that brought in Jackson from third base. Haynes’ pop and Phelps’ grounder to short then ended the inning. Licona then hit a pointless 2-run homer in the eighth. Sullivan singled with two outs more or less by accident, then pitched another inning.

Then the Aces sent Fails into the ninth with a 6-2 lead. Brown and Gonzales reached base immediately, and Fails was yanked for Chris Derrick, who gave up a 2-out RBI single to Yocum, but otherwise retired the Raccoons quickly and efficiently. 6-3 Aces. Yocum 3-5, RBI; S. Brown 2-3, BB, 2B; Gonzales 2-3, BB;

Indy tied the division that night with their second win against the Condors, but the Crusaders had dropped two to the Baybirds, of all teams, already and were now two games out. The Loggers also had yet to win something against the visiting Knights.

Game 3
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B Woodley – CF Hamel – C Contreras – 3B Gonzales – P Wharton
LVA: 2B Jim. Williams – CF Seybert – C Haynes – RF Phelps – SS Hatakeyama – 3B Rodewald – 1B Lawyer – LF McGrew – P Ryba

The first inning was uneventful, and Licona led off the second with a single to left, then stole second… and was stranded. Seybert took long fly balls by both Hamel and Contreras to keep the Coons from scoring. Gonzales got a leadoff walk in the third, but was stranded at second where Jimmy bunted him to. Jimmyboy allowed two shy singles in the first three innings, one of them to Seybert, but had yet to find danger. A leadoff walk to Phelps would do, though; this came after Woodley had given the Coons a 1-0 lead with a home run to right in the fourth inning, but Phelps gained a base on Hatakeyama’s groundout, then scored on a Rodewald double to even the score again immediately. Rodewald got all the way to third in the inning, but was left there.

That 1-1 tie was broken in the sixth with a Licona Homa – (looks around proudly to no applause at all) – with Katz aboard to make it 3-1 Critters with two gone. Jimmy then divined to offer another leadoff walk right away to Haynes, but Phelps actually doubled up the runner. Instead, the Raccoons tacked on in the top 7th; Hamel stuck a double into the corner in leftfield to begin the inning, then scored quickly on a Contreras single to right, 4-1. Gonzales flew out, and then Jimmy struggled to bunt. At one point Contreras stole a base in a 1-2 count when Ryba threw a bouncer in the dirt, and then Jimmy hit a soft single on the next pitch to put runners on the corners. Nothing countable came of it – Humph fanned in a full count and Yocum popped out to Seybert in shallow center to end the inning.

Jimmy gave up a run on McGrew and Harmsen hits in the bottom of the inning to depart from a 4-2 game, but the Coons answered in the top of the eighth, even though after Katz and Licona reached, Daniel Richmond got two outs before walking Contreras. LeVan batted for Gonzales and got a grounder past Williams and into centerfield for a 2-run single, 6-2, but Luebbert struck out in the pitcher’s spot, then took over third base. Yocum hit a 1-out double in the ninth, Licona got on, and Woodley and Sam Brown hit RBI singles to pile more runs on the Aces, who didn’t play much of a hand in the last two innings against Delgado, Chad Brown, and McMahan. 8-2 Furballs. Licona 2-3, 2 BB, HR, 2 RBI; Woodley 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; S. Brown (PH) 1-1, RBI; LeVan (PH) 1-1, 2 RBI; Wharton 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, W (11-11) and 1-2;

The division finished the month in a dead heat as the Indians finished a sweep by means of a 13-0 rout; the Crusaders and Loggers both got swept, and were now three and six games out, respectively.

With that, rosters expanded, although the Raccoons didn’t make their callups until September 2 due to the off day.

The Raccoons added a pawful of pitchers, headed by Steve George, who might make a few starts, but had gone on Thursday and thus was not in the picture on the weekend. Also back were Jason Holzmeister and Noah Newhard; a first call-up went out to 2069 third-round lefty Kevin Beane, at the expense of a different left-hander, Antonio Pacheco, who was waived to make room on the 40-man roster.

For position players, Jesus Morentin returned from his rehab assignment, and we added back Dave Falquez and Omar Vigil. The crammed 40-man meant that Aldomiro Campion was moved to the 60-day DL to get a third catcher up in Ryan Sweet, a 27-year-old minor league free agent signing this February. He would make his ABL debut.

Raccoons (76-57) vs. Titans (60-72) – September 2-4, 2072

The Titans wanted the season to end, sitting fifth in the division, fifth in runs allowed (despite a really cruddy rotation), and seventh in runs scored. They had a -4 run differential, disturbingly close to the Critters, but it *just* hadn’t added up for them this year. Portland was up 8-3 on them this year.

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (12-3, 3.25 ERA) vs. Bryce Wallace (5-9, 5.33 ERA)
Crispino D’Urso (12-5, 3.36 ERA) vs. Angel Suarez (10-9, 5.50 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (7-8, 3.65 ERA) vs. Erik Lee (5-14, 4.94 ERA)

Both teams had been off on Thursday, but the sole lefty, Jesse Cruise (9-7, 5.46 ERA) was not on the horizon, having pitched on Wednesday.

Game 1
BOS: 2B Fumero – 3B D. Miller – 1B H. Moreno – RF M. Garcia – CF B. Davidson – LF Parrish – C R. Perez – SS Kovach – P B. Wallace
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B Woodley – CF Hamel – C Contreras – 3B Vigil – P Walla

John Parrish first made the catch of the year on Licona, taking away an RBI double, flying, in the gap to end the first inning, and then hit a 2-run homer off Walla in the second to put the Titans on top. The Coons next lost Contreras to a paw injury on a double to center and the slide into second base, replacing him with Sam Brown, and stranded the run on second base, too.

Walla really wasn’t pitching all that great, and then was chased after six muddy innings, partly by rain, and partly by having thrown 98 pitches already. He also struck out twice to end an inning with pairs of Critters on base, and I tended to not blame pitchers for that, but I didn’t enjoy both Yocum and Katz hitting into double play while ahead in counts in other innings… Walla’s line still looked better than Wallace’s, as Wallace walked SIX in 5.2 innings, but still departed with a lead, despite walks to Woodley and Brown in the bottom 6th, and a pinch-hit RBI single by V.D. Morales. Humph ended the inning, flying out to center against Tetsu Kurihara, who gave up a double to Katz and drilled Licona in the seventh, but got away with that, because nobody on this ******* team could come up with a clutch hit once again.

The Coons’ pen instead melted down in the eighth, conceding two runs between Cam Jackson, McMahan, and Sullivan, despite the best attempt at mixing and matching and the Titans not even answering with pinch-hitters. The Coons pissed away another double in the eighth, that one hit by Vigil, and instead the Titans tacked on a run with a 2-out Carlos Fumero triple off Holzmeister, who then threw a wild pitch, the utter fool. Bottom 9th, Jerry Washington got a 5-1 lead and Yocum legged out an infield single to begin the inning. Katz singled to left, and Washington threw a wild pitch, but Licona struck out. Woodley’s sac fly didn’t help a lot, and LeVan singled home Katz in place of Hamel, 5-3. The Titans went to left-hander Travis Davis, so the Raccoons batted McFarland for Brown, but he grounded out. 5-3 Titans. Yocum 2-5; Katzman 3-5, 2 2B; LeVan (PH) 1-1, RBI; Contreras 1-1, 2B; Vigil 1-2, 2 BB, 2B; V.D. Morales (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Indy lost a 2-1 squeezer to the Loggers at home, which kept the division tied.

Jonathan Contreras was being evaluated on Saturday, but no news came forward yet so Brown was in the lineup for the middle game.

Game 2
BOS: 2B Fumero – 3B D. Miller – 1B H. Moreno – RF M. Garcia – CF B. Davidson – LF Parrish – C R. Perez – SS Kovach – P A. Suarez
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C S. Brown – 3B Gonzales – P D’Urso

Bases were busy right out of the gates on Saturday, as Crispy Bear walked Hector Moreno and Manuel Garcia for needless traffic in the first inning. Humph walked and was doubled up by Yocum again, and then Katz and Licona hit singles and were stranded by V.D.; the Titans got a leadoff double from Parrish, who ended up being thrown out at the plate by Licona in the top 2nd, and then the Raccoons put the 6-7-8 batters on for no outs in the bottom 2nd on a walk, hit batter at 0-2, and a soft single, respectively. That sent up Crispy to bat and whiff, but Humph had mercy on my nerves and hit a clean RBI single to left for the game’s first run. Suarez plunked Yocum in the chest to force in a run, and Katz’ grounder to third was not turned for a double play, only Yocum being out at second, so another run scored, as happened on a wild pitch to bring in Humph. Suarez walked Licona, but Katz was thrown out on a double steal to end the inning, 4-0.

Suarez was hit for in the fourth inning after Parrish and Ruben Perez had clubbed a pair of first-pitch hits to get the Titans on the board, 4-1, but the Coons pulled that run back in the same inning on Gonzales, Humph, and Yocum singles. Katz added one more with a sac fly against lefty Terry Bradley, who made his season debut, and Licona singled and V.D. walked with two outs. Morentin batted for Woodley, hoping for a knockout, but he popped out and then Falquez got put on first base.

D'Urso got stuck in the seventh inning, giving up 2-out hits to Javier Acuna (a double) and Fumero (RBI single) to make it 6-2, and departed when he walked Danny Miller. Chad Brown got the ball, gave up an RBI single to Moreno on the first pitch, and then kindly enough struck out Garcia, the score now 6-3 at the stretch.

This game, then, too, had a rain delay in the bottom 7th, and then Kevin Beane made his ABL debut in the eighth against Parrish, got a K, and then popped out Perez to end the inning. Bottom 8th, Kurihara walked LeVan in the #9 hole, then gave up a run on 1-out singles by Vigil and Katz, but struck out Licona and Hamel to end the inning. Sullivan then had a 1-2-3 ninth to end the game. 7-3 Raccoons. Humphries 2-3, 2 BB, RBI; Vigil (PH) 1-1; Katzman 2-4, 3 RBI; Licona 3-4, BB; Gonzales 2-4;

Indy lost again, leaving the Critters in sole possession of first place for the night.

That was it for good news, though, as Jonathan Contreras was found to have a tiny fracture in a claw, but it was just as bad as a big ol’ fracture and he was out for the season. The Raccoons called up Tony Spink from AAA to make up the numbers…

Game 3
BOS: 2B Fumero – 3B D. Miller – 1B H. Moreno – RF M. Garcia – CF B. Davidson – LF Parrish – C R. Perez – SS Kovach – P E. Lee
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – CF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C S. Brown – SS McFarland – P Gaytan

Brown, now the primary catcher, hit into a double play with V.D. and Woodley on the corners to end the bottom 2nd, so things were going GREAT. Just GREAT. Gaytan already scattered three runners in the first two innings, striking out nobody, and then began the third inning with a walk to Fumero, a Miller single, a wild pitch, and then an RBI single conceded to Moreno. That one went to center, and Miller went for home, but was thrown out by Licona, who got his second assist of the week. Moreno was then left on first base, but Gaytan’s pitching was NOT pretty. He also couldn’t get a ******* bunt down, forcing out McFarland’s leadoff walk in the bottom 3rd and then stood around first base until the charade ended. Katz then got another leadoff walk in the fourth, and made it about as far.

Top 6th, Gaytan gave up a 2-run homer to Perez to probably give the game away for good, like things were going. Holzmeister got three outs without making it worse, and Licona and V.D. got on base in the bottom 6th, but were stranded. Brown walking and a McFarland single brought the tying run to the plate with nobody out in the bottom 7th, but LeVan struck out batting for Rismiller. Humph’s single to left loaded the bases, and Lee ran a 3-1 count against Yocum, who then lined out to Moreno … and Humph was caught off base against his old team and doubled up, 3-U. (unscrews bottle of Capt’n Coma)

Cam Jackson came in for the eighth, but did nothing but put Garcia and Bill Davidson on the corners with a pair of hits. Rios replaced him and gave up a sac fly before aching out of the inning. Katz got a leadoff walk drawn off Jesse Dover in the bottom of the inning… and then was left on first ******* base again; but when Newhard issued a leadoff walk to Fumero in the ninth, it quickly escalated into a 2-run inning between him and Delgado again… 6-0 Titans.

In other news

August 29 – SFB SP Nick Waldron (9-10, 4.72 ERA) shuts out the Crusaders on three hits in a 2-0 win.
August 29 – The Thunder shut down their closer, Luis Ramirez (1-12, 6.28 ERA, 21 SV) with elbow soreness.
August 31 – The Pacifics take 11 innings to beat the Rebels, 1-0.

Player of the Week (FL): WAS 1B/RF/LF Bill Nelson (.424, 2 HR, 7 RBI), hitting .462 (12-26) with 2 HR, 6 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): LVA SP Tim Henderson (16-4, 3.55 ERA), going 2-0 with a flat zero ERA in 13.2 innings, 9 K

FL Hitter of the Month: DAL INF Sean Van Leeuwen (.342, 7 HR, 48 RBI), clipping .405 with 1 HR, 16 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: SFB OF/1B Ryan Redding (.290, 18 HR, 83 RBI), hitting .344 with 6 HR, 25 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SFW SP Edwin Moreno (14-6, 3.23 ERA), a perfect 5-0 with 1.50 ERA, 16 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: ATL SP Adam Lunn (15-6, 3.44 ERA), going 4-1 with a 3.48 ERA, 33 K
FL Rookie of the Month: DEN 3B Kyle Fischer (.317, 4 HR, 45 RBI), hitting .456 with 2 HR, 12 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: OCT UT Juan Maciel (.216, 1 HR, 18 RBI), slapping .252 with 1 HR, 11 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The Indians got swept by the Loggers, all 1-run games, which kept the Coons atop the division after their own feckless appearance against the Titans on the weekend. The division remains interesting (strength of schedule, playoff odds):

POR (77-59) – NYC (6), BOS (4), IND (4), MIL (3), SFB (3), TIJ (3), VAN (3) – .502 – 50.9%
IND (76-60) – VAN (6), MIL (4), POR (4), ATL (3), BOS (3), NYC (3), OCT (3) – .490 – 37.6%
NYC (74-63) – POR (6), BOS (4), ATL (3), IND (3), MIL (3), OCT (3), VAN (3) – .502 – 6.1%
MIL (73-63) – BOS (7), IND (4), CHA (3), LVA (3), POR (3), NYC (3), VAN (3) – .510 – 5.3%

Missing Contreras tears a new hole into the lineup that Sam Brown can hardly fill, let alone what we have left over as backups (neither of which appeared in a game on the weekend). Regardless, the occasional clutch hit would help a lot, boys.

Or hits at all.

Monday is off and we don’t know how to shift the rotation from here. We want Steve George to make a couple starts, but Josh Jackson hasn’t been so bad, either. (looks at Gaytan)

The Raccoons are off to a 3-city, 10-game road trip to visit the Crusaders, Elks, and Titans. That sure sounds like a string that can ruin a season.

Fun Fact: The Thunder have never lost more than 105 games.

They could break that ugly record from the 2036 this year. Overall, they had three triple-digit losses seasons, including 105 and 102 back-to-back in 2036-37. Before that they lost 104 games in 2018. These occurred in a stretch from 2014 through 2041 where they made the playoffs only once and finished second only four times, but in the cellar of the South five times.

It was surely the leanest stretch in the history of the franchise with 30 playoff appearances – by far the most of all teams in the league. The Raccoons were closest to them with 25 playoff participations.

The Thunder also had the best all-time record at 8,146-7,384 (.525), 65 games up on the Stars. The Raccoons ranked third in that category, 8,074-7,455 (.520).

[Westheim]

The Critters had an off day to begin the week, during which the Indians reduced the gap to half a game with a 3-0 win against the damn Elks, who were on our plate later in the week.

Raccoons (77-59) @ Crusaders (74-63) – September 6-8, 2072

The Crusaders were dominating the season series, up 9-3 on Portland, and they’d need more of that in this series. They ranked second from the bottom in runs scored, with the lowest team batting average, but had also allowed the fewest runs, for a +32 run differential. The list of injuries was long, though, containing Ryan Marty, Miguel Lacatelli, Bobby Wildman, Fernando Aracena, a couple of backups and relievers – but those guys hadn’t been hitting anyway, so what was the damage there?

Projected matchups:
Josh Jackson (4-5, 3.78 ERA) vs. Nate Freeman (8-8, 3.11 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (11-11, 4.03 ERA) vs. Nick Ellis (13-8, 3.97 ERA)
Nick Walla (12-4, 3.24 ERA) vs. Russell Anderson (7-8, 3.58 ERA)

Anderson was the only southpaw the Crusaders had in their rotation.

There was a vague idea to piggy-back Josh Jackson and Steve George in this game, and then flip it around on Sunday in Elk City.

Game 1
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF Licona – RF V.D. Morales – 1B Woodley – C S. Brown – 3B Gonzales – P J. Jackson
NYC: 2B Way – 3B Brannen – RF van Otterdijk – 1B Ledesma – LF Griffin – C Stephens – SS Roza – CF DuKate – P N. Freeman

The scoring started in the top of the first inning with a Humph double, Yocum walking, and Katz hitting an RBI single to center. Licona’s pop to Jerrod Brannen and a double play grounder by Morales then quickly ended the inning before actual damage could be done. Joe Way then also hit a leadoff double to right-center in the bottom 1st and stole third base, but strikeouts to Brannen and George van Otterdijk, a walk to Raul Ledesma, the Crusaders’ home run leader with 19 bombs, and Tony Griffin’s fly to left meant that he was stranded at third base entirely. The Coons kept scoring in the following innings; Jackson drove in Sam Brown between their pair of singles in the second inning – Jackson’s first RBI of the year – and the third inning began with a Katz walk, Licona singling to left, and Woodley getting an RBI single to center, 3-0. Brown then found a double play to hit into.

Nothing came off a double Jackson hit in the fourth inning, and the Crusaders had the leadoff man on base in every inning; they hit into a double play in the second, and Brannen was caught trying to steal third base in the third, but the meltdown finally came in the fourth. Griffin led off with a single. Roy Stephens flew out to Licona, but Josh Roza and Brad DuKate hit more singles to score Griffin. Freeman’s bunt was then thrown away for two bases by Brown, plating Roza, and putting the tying and go-ahead runs in scoring position. Way’s groundout tied the game, and Brannen hit an RBI single to give New York a heavily unearned lead (only Griffin’s run was earned on Jackson).

The Coons wasted a Katz double off the wall to begin the fifth inning, and Jackson was done after five (as was Freeman), leaving the game a-trailing when McFarland batted for him with one out in the top 6th and Gonzales on first base. New York reliever Manuel Macias threw a wild pitch, and McFarland strung an RBI double to tie the score at four, but Humph and Yocum both grounded out, so this was as good as it got for Jackson. As planned, George then took over, and had a 1-2-3 sixth before the Raccoons ****** away the second Katz leadoff double in a row in the seventh. This time Licona walked and Morales hit into a double play as he kept plunging into an ever deeper slump. Bottom 7th, the Otter hit a 1-out double to right-center. Ledesma singled him to third base, and a passed ball on Brown got him across the plate and Ledesma to second base, from where he scored on a pinch-hit single by Jonathan Merrill in place of Stephens. A strikeout to Roza finally ended another stupid inning. The eighth was uneventful, and Yocum opened the ninth with a homer to left (!) off Leo Garcia to reduce the gap to one run. The tying run and V.D. Morales both only got on base by sticking his fat tush into an 0-2 pitch with two outs, but Woodley popped out behind the plate to end the game. 6-5 Crusaders. Katzman 3-4, BB, 2 2B, RBI; McFarland (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI;

This cost first place, as Indy zoomed past by beating the Elks, 3-2.

Tuesday brought the major league debut of Ryan Sweet, who had already sat on the roster for five days at this point.

Game 2
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B Woodley – CF LeVan – 3B Gonzales – C Sweet – P Wharton
NYC: 3B Roza – SS Joe King – RF van Otterdijk – 1B Ledesma – LF Griffin – 2B Way – C Marty – CF DuKate – P N. Ellis

The Critters scattered a single in each of the first three innings, including an infield single by Jimmyboy in the third, and got exactly nowhere with that, while Jimmy retired the first seven Crusaders before having a meltdown in the bottom 3rd. Brad DuKate singled and was bunted onwards, and Jimmy then allowed an RBI single to Roza, walked the bags full with Joe King and the Otter, and then finally got Ledesma to ground out before it could get *really* ugly. Way drew a walk and scored on a double by Ryan Marty, just off the DL (yay!), in the fourth.

Licona narrowly missed a homer and was retired with a fly to fence in the fourth, and was robbed again in the sixth when Griffin made a running catch to end the inning with Katz on first base. The score remained 2-0 through the end of the sixth, which was also the end for an erratic Jimmy Wharton in this game. Top 7th, and the tying run reached right away against Ellis, as both Woodley and LeVan hit singles to right. Gonzales’ grounder to right was intercepted by Way and taken to second for a fielder’s choice, and the spot was too big to let an 0-for-2 Ryan Sweet bat with runners on the corners. Jack Hamel pinch-hit, but flew out to shallow left, and the runners had to hold. V.D. batted for Wharton, drew a walk, and Ellis also lost Humph on four balls, forcing in the Coons’ first run. In a 2-1 count, in a 2-1 game, Yocum then hit a sharp liner – right at Joe Way to end the inning…….

Katz kept stirring, hitting a leadoff single in the eighth, but it never amounted to trouble as behind him nobody was ready to throw any fisticuffs, ever. Licona grounded out, Woodley grounded out, and Morentin, batting for LeVan against a southpaw William Palumbo, flew out to left. Sullivan had pitched a clean bottom 7th, and Cam Jackson was in for the eighth, but walked the Otter and drew the attention of Luis Silva, who removed him from the game. Chad Brown took over, walked Ledesma, got one out from Griffin, and then McMahan came in to sort out the rest. The Raccoons’ Gonzales, Sam Brown, and Falquez went down in order against Leo Garcia in the ninth. 2-1 Crusaders. Katzman 2-3, BB; LeVan 2-3;

Blech.

Indy completed a sweep of the damn Elks, never scoring more than three runs in any of the games.

There were no immediate news on the Cam Jackson injury, but it wasn’t like we were lacking for pitchers on the roster.

Also: no southpaw, as the Crusaders sent righty Paul Egley (14-11, 2.88 ERA) instead.

Game 3
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B Woodley – CF LeVan – 3B Vigil – C S. Brown – P Walla
NYC: 2B Way – SS Joe King – 1B Ledesma – C Marty – CF DuKate – RF N. Palmer – LF Patterson – 3B Brannen – P Egley

Yocum singled, stole second, and scored on Katz’ single to left. Rookie Ryan Patterson hurt himself on the throw to the plate and was replaced with the veteran Griffin on the spot. The Raccoons left Katz on, but doubled the score in the second inning with unlikely doubles from Omar Vigil and Nick Walla, who got his eighth RBI of the year, but then was left stranded in scoring position. Walla had struggled in recent weeks, but retired the Crusaders in order the first time through the order, striking out three. He made it four with a Way K to begin the bottom 4th, but then walked Joe King. Ledesma hit a grounder to short for a 6-4-3, though.

Things then had to hit the ******* somehow, and it turned out that the baseball gods went for a pair of infield hits to begin the top 5th, giving singles to Katz and Licona, but taking away one of Licona’s legs as he limped off to the dugout after beating out Brannen’s throw. Hamel replaced him, and an error by Joe Way on Woodley’s grounder loaded the bases with nobody out. The Coons scored zero runs, as usual, as LeVan hit a grounder for an out at the plate, Vigil whiffed, and Brown grounded out to third.

This team…!

Some Nick-on-Nick violence in the fifth saw Walla nick Palmer for a free runner, but the Crusaders left him on; and in the sixth the Crusaders finally got a hit on a leadoff single by Brannen, but Bob Parry hit into a double play. Walla then plunked Ledesma in the seventh, but the Crusaders right away had Marty hit into yet another double play. Gabe Croley then plunked Brown in the eighth and it felt intentional; it was time to get outta town. Walla got one more out in the bottom 8th, but then walked Palmer and Griffin hit a single. Rios replaced him when Merrill pinch-hit in the #8 spot, but gave up an RBI double, and then a game-tying single to the Otter, and the Coons had ****** away another game. Chad Brown wiggled out of the inning. They faced right-hander Matt Topp in the ninth inning, who walked Yocum to lead off. Two grounders and a K saw him stranded at third base as the go-ahead run.

The game went to extras after the Crusaders got Palmer on base, but not around against Delgado and Sullivan in the ninth inning. Top 10th, Vigil and Brown hit 1-out singles off Topp, who then plunked the pinch-hitting Falquez. Bases loaded, Humph struck out and Yocum grounded out to short. NOBODY ******* SCORED. Except for Steve Wright, who singled off Holzmeister in the bottom 10th and then scored on a walkoff knock by King with two outs. 3-2 Crusaders. Katzman 2-5, RBI; Vigil 2-4, 2B; Walla 7.1 IP, 2 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 5 K and 1-4, 2B, RBI;

This ******* team was now two games out of first place, only half a game up on the Crusaders anymore. The Loggers won three of four against the Titans and remained in contention, 3 1/2 games out.

Raccoons (77-62) @ Canadiens (60-81) – September 9-11, 2072

This was the last series of the year against the stinking Elks. The Raccoons held a 9-6 lead in the season series. The Elks, who had just been swept by the Arrowheads to get them back into first place (us being completely dimwitted also helped) ranked fourth in runs scored and eleventh in runs allowed in the CL, with a -51 run differential. They were without John Bustillos and Allen Beights, both out for the season, and the Coons were without Licona and Cam Jackson, both still undiagnosed.

Projected matchups:
Crispino D’Urso (13-5, 3.39 ERA) vs. Luis Renteria (2-3, 4.56 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (7-9, 3.69 ERA) vs. Adam McDonald (7-11, 4.51 ERA)
Steve George (4-4, 3.96 ERA) vs. Jay Williams (18-5, 2.45 ERA)

All right-handers.

(hides under the pillows on the trusty brown couch in Portland)

Game 1
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – 1B Woodley – CF LeVan – RF Hamel – C S. Brown – 3B Gonzales – P D’Urso
VAN: SS Barraza – 2B Ratliff – RF Dille – 1B Palominos – CF D. Moore – 3B Terrazas – LF Egger – C D. Johnson – P Renteria

The ******* Coons had Katz hit into a double play in the first, Hamel hit into a double play in the second, and Gonzales hit into a double play in the third. The last one came already after an hourlong rain delay, and that came after Dan Moore’s solo homer to put the Elks on top, 1-0. Crispy Bear resumed pitching after the delay, but was ineffective, allowed a hit in the third, and then two hits, two walks, and a run in the fourth inning before Renteria grounded out sharply to Yocum to leave Jose Palominos, Moore, and David Johnson on base. That was all for Crispy, made mushy by rain and thus unpalatable.

Kevin Beane made his second career outing in the bottom 5th, but got only one out while allowing a double to Roberto Barraza and an RBI single to Kevin Dille. Holzmeister replaced him, got a grounder from Palominos to first, but dropped Woodley’s feed for an error, and then proceeded to give up three more runs on a 2-out hit by Juan Terrazas, a walk to Joe Egger (not to be confused with Dan Eggert), and a single by Johnson. The Coons got Humph on base in the sixth, down by six, but Yocum hit into a double play now and then was sat down for the rest of the game. The Raccoons then sent the next left-hander against the top of the order, and the results for David Delgado were even worse. He walked Barraza, gave up a homer to Ratliff, 8-0, and then gave up a single to Dille before being yanked. Newhard replaced him, walked Moore, and gave up an RBI single to Egger before that ******* inning ended. After Woodley hit a useless homer in the top 7th, Newhard gave up a 2-piece to Dille in the bottom of the same inning. The only 2-for’s the Raccoons could hit were double plays; Omar Vigil added another one in the eighth inning. 11-1 Canadiens. Woodley 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; Luebbert (PH) 1-1;

The gap didn’t grow on Friday because Indy lost a 1-0 game to the Titans, while the Loggers beat the Crusaders, 2-0.

Injury news, then: Cam Jackson (back spasms) and Juan Licona (abdominal strain) were both out for the season.

Jesus Guerrero was recalled as replacement outfielder.

(crying and wailing noises from underneath the pillows)

Game 2
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – 1B Woodley – CF LeVan – RF Hamel – C S. Brown – SS McFarland – P Gaytan
VAN: SS Barraza – 3B Terrazas – RF Dille – 2B Palominos – CF D. Moore – LF Barber – 1B Egger – C D. Johnson – P McDonald

Silly Adam McDonald threw a wild pitch to take away the double play after Humph and Yocum opened the game with singles, allowing Katz and Woodley to bring in two runs with their usual groundouts to a middle infielder as soon as somebody was even near scoring position. The Elks needn’t worry, though, because Tony Gaytan was just as dumb and useless. After getting around a Barraza single in the first, he conceded 1-out singles to Brandon Barber and Joe Egger in the bottom 2nd. The pair did a double steal, and then scored on a wild pitch and Johnson’s sac fly, respectively, tying the game at two.

Top 3rd, and Humph and Yocum were on base again to begin the inning. Katz this time singled to center and Humph came in to score; Moore’s throw also allowed the other runners into scoring position. The next batters also each got an RBI: Woodley on a single, and LeVan on a groundout, 5-2, before Hamel popped out and Brown flew out to Dille. Humph homered with two gone in the fourth, and Hamel sent a 2-piece flying off Juan Rosado with two down and Katz on second base in the fifth inning, extending his pathetic team lead in homers to 12.

Gaytan gave up a run on two singles in the bottom 5th, but McFarland and Yocum matched the feat in the top 6th, 9-3. Gaytan then got into, but not out of, the bottom 7th, nicking PH Ben Craig and giving up singles to Barraza and Terrazas with one out, and a run on the latter hit. McMahan came in and got Dille to fly out, but then turned it into a 4-run meltdown, walking Palominos and giving up hits to Moore and Barber before Egger finally made the third ******* out on strikes.

This reduced the lead to 9-7. McFarland and Yocum hit singles in the eighth inning, but were either forced out by V.D. Morales or left on base outright, and the bottom 8th began with a Sullivan walk to Johnson and a pinch-hit single by Wade Griffith. Sullivan was yanked without getting an out as lefty Andy Ratliff batted for Barraza, an inspired choice, and the Coons brought in Rios. The left-hander got Ratliff to 2-2, then gave up an RBI double off the rightfield wall, 9-8, and runners in scoring position with nobody out. (Slappy shoves another bottle of Capt’n Coma through a slit between the pillows) Rios remained around for Terrazas, who hit a liner to right. Hamel made the catch, Griffith made for home – and was thrown out at the plate by Hamel…! When Tyler Eaves pinch-hit for Dille, the Coons double-switched in Rismiller (to meet the righty) and Gonzales (replacing Katz at third). Eaves grounded out on the first pitch, and the dimwitted Coons took a 9-8 lead into the ninth, where they put Woodley and Hamel on base against Danny Nava, but couldn’t get a run across. Palominos’ leadoff single off Rismiller in the bottom 9th put the tying run on base. Moore’s fly to deep center was caught by LeVan, and Palominos had to retreat to first base. That was a perfectly fine place to be though on Mario Lopez’ pinch-hit walkoff homer to left. 10-9 Canadiens. Humphries 2-4, BB, HR, RBI; Yocum 4-5, RBI; Katzman 2-5, 2 RBI; Woodley 2-4, BB, 2 RBI; McFarland 3-5;

(Maud lifts one of the pillows and feels for a pulse)

Maud, please leave me be. Yes, but the pillow back. (muffled) Thank you, Maud.

Game 3
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – 1B Woodley – CF Hamel – RF V.D. Morales – 3B Gonzales – C Sweet – P George
VAN: SS Barraza – 1B Ratliff – RF Dille – 2B Palominos – CF D. Moore – LF Barber – 3B Terrazas – C D. Johnson – P J. Williams

Just two pitches were enough to put Barraza and Ratliff on the corners in the bottom 1st on a pair of singles, and Dille’s sac fly to center put the Elks on top, 1-0. Moore hit another single off George in the inning, but the Elks left on a pair when Barber flew out to Hamel. Ryan Sweet’s first big league hit was a double in the second inning, moving Gonzales from first to third after he had drawn a walk. The Coons got a run on George’s groundout to tie it at one, but left Sweet on base after stranding a pair in the first. David Johnson took George deep in the bottom of the inning, giving the Elks a 2-1 lead, and then Dille whacked a leadoff double in the bottom 3rd and scored on Gonzales’ 2-base throwing error on Palominos’ grounder. Moore’s pop on the infield was dropped by Katz for another error. Barber extended the score to 4-1 with a fielder’s choice grounder to second, bringing Palominos in to score, and Terrazas ended the inning with a double play grounder. Both runs were unearned.

George was dismissed in the fifth inning as the Elks kept whacking away at him. Dille singled, gained a base on a wild pitch, stole third, and scored on Palominos’ double to left. Barber’s RBI single with two down extended the lead to 6-1 and was the end for George. Newhard got out of the inning and four outs in total, and Beane got two from Ryan Kiblin and Dille. Josh Jackson then entered the game, but gave up another run in the eighth inning. Not that it mattered – the Raccoons had not done a lick of rallying since falling behind in the second inning, and still sat on one measly run. It didn’t get any better in the ninth, with Gonzales, Sweet, and LeVan retired in order by Raul Salas. 7-1 Canadiens. Sweet 2-4, 2B;

In other news

September 5 – Miners SP Brian Jones (15-7, 2.08 ERA) fires a 2-hit shutout and strikes out *14* Blue Sox in a 10-0 blowout.
September 6 – The Thunder romp for nine runs in the first inning against the Bayhawks and starter Eric Stengel (10-12, 4.67 ERA), who retires nobody – and still manage to lose the game, 15-12. The Bayhawks flip it around in a 6-run seventh inning.
September 7 – Falcons SP Scott Bickerton (11-8, 3.53 ERA) spins a 2-hit shutout to beat the Aces, 9-0.
September 7 – SFB SP Brad Yoxall (12-7, 3.28 ERA) is out for the season and questionable for Opening Day with a torn flexor tendon in his elbow.
September 9 – The Aces blow out the Knights, 9-0, and out-hit them 15-1 behind SP Harrison Bucci (14-9, 2.96 ERA) and MR Josh Atkins (3-2, 3.04 ERA, 1 SV). The only Knight to get a base hit is MR Harry Facteau (1-2, 8.54 ERA) in garbage relief.
September 11 – Knights OF/2B Joel Ehlers (.260, 8 HR, 57 RBI) has his season end with a broken finger.
September 11 – The Warriors beat the Wolves, 7-4 in 18 innings. Salem blows a 3-0 lead in the ninth inning before both teams score one run in the 14th inning. It takes double distance for the Warriors to break through with three runs in the top of the 18th. SFW OF David Jankowski (.298, 5 HR, 46 RBI) goes 5-for-9 with a double and two RBI.

Player of the Week (FL): SFW OF David Jankowski (.298, 5 HR, 46 RBI), batting .452 (14-31) with 6 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): TIJ OF/SS Josh Rugar (.280, 16 HR, 71 RBI), hitting .423 (11-26) with 1 HR, 3 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Dead.

Coons are dead.

IND (80-62) – MIL (4), POR (4), ATL (3), NYC (3), OCT (3), VAN (3) – .501 – 67.8% (+30.2%)
MIL (78-65) – IND (4), BOS (3), CHA (3), LVA (3), POR (3), VAN (3) – .512 – 15.2% (+9.9%)
NYC (78-65) – BOS (4), ATL (3), IND (3), OCT (3), POR (3), VAN (3) – .483 – 11.4% (+5.3%)
POR (77-65) – BOS (4), IND (4), MIL (3), NYC (3), SFB (3), TIJ (3) – .509 – 6.9% (-44.0%)

Dead.

Coons are gonna be dead in Boston and against the Baybirds next week.

Dead.

Fun Fact: The Coons are dead.

Dead.