ISLANDIAN PRO ALLIANCE (RUTHLANDIA and TYCOBBIA BASEBALL UNIONS)

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Wednesday, October 2, 2002

IPA Pro Cup Series - Game Three

Cowboys Smash All-Stars 10-1, IPA Champions
The Cowboys are the champions of pro baseball in Islandia... High Mesa smashed the Elnora All-Stars 10-1 in game three at Queen Ranch Stadium to sweep all three games of the IPA Pro Cup Series... The Cowboys clouted 19 hits to easily rout the All-Stars... A 6-run surge in the fourth inning sparked the victory... Leading the way was C Jay Fessler (.361) with a 5-for-5 day... He scored twice and batted in three... 3B Howie Partridge (.300) had two hits and three RBIs... and LF Adam Zitek (.232) homered and drove in two runs... Everyone in the High Mesa line-up got at least one hit, including winning pitcher Kael Claxton... Claxton (2-0 3.63) tossed a fine game, stopping Elnora on just five hits, finishing up with five strikeouts and five walks... Manager Zoggy White of Elnora told reporters, "The Cowboys have outstanding hitters throughout the line-up... there ain't no easy outs."... The winning manager, Frisky Franks, gave credit to the whole ballclub, "Every man on our roster contributed at one time or another throughout the whole season... they made my job easy."

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Saturday, October 4, 2002

High Mesa SS Kellgren Voted Pro Cup MVP
The MVP trophy for the IPA Pro Cup Series has gone to High Mesa's standout shortstop Rolf Kellgren... Kellgren hit .466 with 8 doubles, 1 triple and 4 homers as he led the Cowboys to the IPA title, beating the Elnora All-Stars in a three-game sweep... Kellgren also scored 14 runs and batted in 13... Ranking second and third in the BNN balloting were two teammates... Right fielder Kenny Edelstein was second... He compiled a .426 batting average with two homers, 9 RBIs and 15 runs scored... coming in third was left fielder Adam Zitek, who had 5 doubles, 3 roundtrippers, 12 RBIs and 10 runs scored, while batting .232.

Elnora's Taylor Gibbs finished fourth in the vote... Gibbs was 3-1 in the postseason with a fine 2.61 ERA... All-Star left fielder Quincy Peterson ranked fifth... Peterson hit .439 with a pair of homers, 9 RBIs and scored 9 times...Also receiving votes were Elnora's Charlie Murphy, who was unbeaten in the playoffs, winning three and losing none with a 3.38 ERA... He also pitched well against the new champions, going seven innings and giving up only two runs in the opening game of the series, won in extra innings 5-4 by High Mesa.

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Sunday, October 5, 2002

Ruthlandian Union Names Award Winners for 2002
The Ruthlandian Union announced the winners of the 2002 Awards today. The Golden Bat Award was given to Valmara's talented left fielder Jet Kazmarek, who stunned everybody with an astronomical .428 batting average. The fleet-footed Kazmarek totaled 49 doubles, 29 triples and 15 homers. He played in 154 games, drove in 111 runs, scored 135 times and stole 85 bases in a tremendous display of hitting prowess. Kazmarek is 27 years old.

On the mound, the Golden Arm trophy was awarded to righthander Terry Kuznetsov of the Claxton Diamonds. This blossoming 25-year-old hurler wowed fans, peers and sportswriters with a fabulous performance. Kuznetsov compiled a 20-4 record in 31 starts, tallied 301 strikeouts in 239 innings and recorded a 2.94 ERA. Other clubs managed only a .217 batting average against him and his 98 mph fastball.

The Ruthlandian Union presented its Rookie of the Year Award for 2002 to Bill Nilsen, the fine Forest City shortstop. The 22-year-old Lumberjacks newcomer took the trophy by hitting .281 in 150 games and finished with 154 hits, 35 home runs, 125 RBIs and 102 runs scored. Nilsen stood out on defense as well. He is already one of the better defensive shortstops in the league.

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Monday, October 6, 2002

Tycobbian Union Honors Best Pitcher, Batter, Rookie
Tito Tovares, Karol Zadoka and Corey Tavington were honored as the best of the best this season in the Tycobbian Union.

Tovares of the Luxora Zorros excelled with an impressive 23-12 record in 39 starts to capture the Golden Arm Award. In 298 innings the 21-year-old righthander yielded 247 hits and 90 walks, while striking out 299 and compiling a fine 2.51 ERA.

Zodoka was a Triple Crown winner and Golden Bat winner in a colossal season. The 27-year-old East Point second baseman compiled a .351 average and .412 on-base percentage by putting together 221 hits, 35 doubles, 3 triples, 54 home runs and 63 walks. Zadoka also scored 119 times and drove in 146 runs. He led the league in batting average, home runs, runs scored and RBIs, setting new IPA marks in homers and RBIs.

The Tuckanarra Blue Jays had the Rookie of the Year in the league. Left fielder Corey Tavington batted .325 in 150 games with 175 hits and 104 RBIs and scored 92 runs. The 26-year old Tavington had 47 doubles, 14 triples and 20 home runs in an amazing first year.

[edog23]

Eugene, that was an awesome second season. I really enjoyed reading all of it and I have to tip my hat to you for all your hard work to make this happen. I just hope the Blue Sox can improve the team during the offseason and play better next season.

Erik

[Eugene Church]

Originally Posted by edog23

Eugene, that was an awesome second season. I really enjoyed reading all of it and I have to tip my hat to you for all your hard work to make this happen. I just hope the Blue Sox can improve the team during the offseason and play better next season.

Erik

Erik, thank you for your support and kind words.

You always boost my spirit and help to keep me going, along with the 20-40 other regulars... plus I love this league.

I enjoyed the second season, too, despite having to sim and giving so much control to the AI.

I took back control in the playoffs and it really went well.

Now I have to get busy working on the integrating the new players and evaluating the teams' needs.

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Tuesday, October 7, 2002

RU Golden Glove Award Winners Named
Making the play is the mark of great defenders. Spearing a liner, diving in the hole or crashing headlong into the wall makes no difference to these awe-inspiring fielders. Magicians they sometimes appear to be, showing up out of nowhere to rob a batter of a hit and to turn a hit into an out. Pitchers love 'em and batters curse 'em. These defensive wizards will collect their 2002 Ruthlandian Union Golden Glove Awards tonight:

Pitcher: Al Thibaut (LaGrange Sports) 1.000 FA (16-9 3.48 ERA)
Catcher: Slingshot McFall (Sugar Valley Rattlers) .996 FA, 53% RTO (.296 BA)
First Baseman: Scott Theriot (Belle Plaine Musketeers) .995 FA (.254 BA)
Second Baseman: Barry McCord (Glasco Athletics) .977 FA (.240 BA)
Third Baseman: George Longmire (St. John Crusaders) .954 FA (.245 BA)
Shortstop: Chris Hale (Cold Creek Catamounts) .982 FA (.256 BA)
Left Fielder: Quincy Peterson (Elnora All-Stars) .981 FA (.304 BA)
Center Fielder: Trip Holmes (Cold Creek Catamounts) .995 FA (.283 BA)
Right Fielder: Doug Holt (Rocky Rapids Snappers) .985 FA (.292 BA)

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Wednesday, October 8, 2002

TU Golden Glove Award Selections Announced
Defense is a critical element in the game of baseball. Many times late in the game, a light-hitting defensive specialist will be inserted in place of a superstar hitter. Good defenders are worth their weight in gold and today the best of them for 2002 have been recognized. Tonight these players will receive the Tycobbian Union Golden Glove Award at the BNN ceremonies:

Pitcher: Tal Vaitkus (Hartsdale Hellcats) 1.000 FA (17-17 3.40 ERA)
Catcher: Trace Crittenden (Turon Typhoons) .995 FA, 48% RTO (.321 BA)
First Baseman: Boots Dubois (Turon Typhoons) .996 FA (.282 BA)
Second Baseman: Ed Granberg (High Mesa Cowboys) .990 FA (.325 BA)
Third Baseman: Howie Partridge (High Mesa Cowboys) .970 FA (.231 BA)
Shortstop: Trevor Tomlinson (Denton City Redbirds) .982 FA (.266 BA)
Left Fielder: Dennis Allsup (Summerland Sunsets) .988 FA (.306 BA)
Center Fielder: Billy Echevarria (Fairfax Frogs) .997 FA (.268 BA)
Right Fielder: Marcelino Zuniga (San Alejo Montaneros) .991 FA (.305 BA)

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Thursday, October 9, 2002

Ruthlandian Union Batting Leaderboard

Batting AVG
J. Kazmarek VLM .428
B. DiPirro SV .349
F. Younger WYN .339
J. Mendez BP .339
M. Smith GLS .333

On-Base PCT
J. Kazmarek VLM .477
D. Zuccaro TAR .438
F. Younger WYN .430
G. Foster ELN .428
D. Cole CFX .427

Runs
J. Kazmarek VLM 135
Y. Motsuzuki VLM 116
R. Dizon ETS 115
F. Bird SV 113
B. Norcross MDF 112

Hits
J. Kazmarek VLM 248
F. Bird SV 206
B. DiPirro SV 205
K. Pitzer KIL 201
F. Younger WYN 199

Doubles
B. DiPirro SV 58
W. Horvath RAN 51
J. Zajac KIL 51
Y. Nishida WLK 50
J. Kazmarek VLM 49

Triples
J. Kazmarek VLM 29
Y. Nishida WLK 21
W. Barlow CL 17
B. DiPirro SV 16
S. Perez VOL 16

Home Runs
D. Zuccaro TAR 39
R. Dizon ETS 36
J. Carducci CCR 35
D. Cole CFX 35
T. DeWitt MDF 35

Runs Batted In
B. Nilsen FC 125
F. Vinson VLM 117
R. Dizon ETS 114
C. Hill FC 113
V. Iacoboni ETS 112

Stolen Bases
C. Cobb SD 95
J. Kazmarek VLM 85
B. Norcross MDF 65
G. Longmire STJ 62
M. McDermott BB 60

Bases-On-Balls
D. Cole CFX 136
L. Aldridge BEE 114
P. Giles ELN 108
J. Edmonds FC 105
R. Dizon ETS 103

Hit-By-Pitch
J. Carmouche TAR 15
D. Koontz FTB 15
M. Sheehan ETS 14
B. Butler CL 13
R. Dizon ETS 13

Strikeouts
B. McCord GLS 187
A. Black STO 185
V. Iacoboni ETS 181
R. Dizon ETS 180
L. Aldridge BEE 172

Sacrifice Flies
Y. Bellows STO 12
K. Green MAR 10
J. Kazmarek VLM 10
A. Black STO 9
G. Foster ELN 9

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Thursday, October 9, 2002

Ruthlandian Union Pitching Leaderboard

ERA
R. Peralta VLK 2.31
G. Neal SV 2.71
D. Ruckman STO 2.85
L. Paddison GC 2.87
J. Maxwell RAN 2.89

Wins
C. Bernhoffer RAN 21
Z. Simon STJ 21
T. Kuznetsov CLX 20
D. Carravaggio WYN 19
M. Harrell CL 19

Saves
D. Vannoy VLK 33
S. Stone LAG 27
G. Franchi CLX 26
L. MacAlester CCR 26
J. Scivicque RAN 22

Games Pitched
D. McLemore CL 77
T. Van Arsdale BEE 75
R. Shearer BP 74
M. Huval BP 72
T. Fritsch FTB 67

Complete Games
C. Darby GLS 16
C. Bernhoffer RAN 15
D. Carravaggio WYN 14
S. Elliott FM 14
J. LaForge CFX 13

Shutouts
C. Bernhoffer RAN 7
Z. Simon STJ 5
T. Lindgren BB 4
S. O'Doherty KIL 4
V. Vasylenko VLM 4

Innings Pitched
C. Bernhoffer RAN 302
C. Darby GLS 294
J. LaForge CFX 290
S. Elliott FM 285
J. Houston SD 281

Strikeouts
L. Hill FTB 305
T. Kuznetsov CLX 301
J. LaForge CFX 296
G. Hill WLK 287
W. Mallard SD 281

Opponents AVG
R. Peralta VLK .213
T. Kuznetsov CLX .217
G. Hill WLK .218
C. Browne WYN .219
V. Vasylenko VLM .220

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Friday, October 10, 2002

Tycobbian Union Batting Leaderboard

Batting AVG
K. Zodoka EP .351
L. Curtis CCH .346
C. Willis DC .344
P. Vizquel LUX .343
E. Montano CC .338

On-Base PCT
P. Vizquel LUX .468
L. Curtis CCH .433
H. Fullerton RB .427
A. Conover OXF .419
C. Willis DC .417

Runs
R. Kellgren HM 127
K. Zodoka EP 119
J. Courtney OXF 112
O. MacArthur TUC 111
A. Zitek HM 110

Hits
K. Zodoka EP 221
K. Wiggins OZK 198
J. Turchin HAR 196
R. Kellgren HM 195
W. Latham BSC 195

Doubles
K. Wiggins OZK 58
C. Tavington TUC 47
T. Mays KEN 43
S. Richards BAY 43
L. Curtis CCH 42

Triples
B. Dubois TUR 14
C. Tavington TUC 14
J. Creekmore DC 13
R. Kellgren HM 13
J. Lynam TUC 13

Home Runs
K. Zodoka EP 54
A. Zitek HM 45
N. Stanton CCH 39
A. Joyner WR 37
R. Sokolov EP 37

Runs Batted In
K. Zodoka EP 146
A. Zitek HM 127
T. Crittenden TUR 123
N. Stanton CCH 115
J. Courtney OXF 114

Stolen Bases
A. Conover OXF 90
T. Barella CCH 68
T. Tomlinson DC 66
L. England OXF 61
A. Hansen BAY 60

Bases-On-Balls
J. Courtney OXF 110
P. Huerta SA 108
A. Hansen BAY 105
O. MacArthur TUC 100
X. Rocha SA 99

Hit-By-Pitch
M. O'Malley TUR 18
L. England OXF 14
J. Meade KEN 14
C. Willis DC 14
C. Harris BL 13

Strikeouts
R. Stainbrook NH 193
P. Huerta SA 190
D. Brunet AG 183
N. Chamberlain KEN 181
J. Courtney OXF 180

Sacrifice Flies
C. Hardesty TUC 11
S. Kobzar MAH 11
C. Land DC 11
R. Cochran WR 10
E. Albrecht BSC 9

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Friday, October 10, 2002

Tycobbian Union Pitching Leaderboard

ERA
K. Greenwood RH 2.13
A. Herrera SA 2.23
B. Turner MAH 2.31
D. Coulon BSC 2.33
A. DiMaggio OZK 2.41

Wins
F. Battle SF 26
E. Arredondo SA 25
T. Tovares LUX 23
C. Janama TUC 21
D. Pendarvis CCH 21

Saves
J. Arndt KEN 32
N. Humphrey SPT 32
T. Elardo SA 28
W. Achord HIL 25
E. Laurente LUX 25

Games Pitched
M. Van Rensberg EP 79
J. Martin CC 70
D. Schultz DC 70
A. Deutsch EP 67
R. Jumonville AG 65

Complete Games
T. Vaitkus HAR 16
C. Janama TUC 15
J. Ballard SPT 14
R. Davidson RH 13
J. Popovich HM 13

Shutouts
N. Sani MDW 5
B. Belinsky OXF 4
K. Callahan LUX 4
A. DiMaggio OZK 4
C. Janama TUC 4

Innings Pitched
B. Hines MAH 304
F. Battle SF 303
T. Tovares LUX 298
C. Janama TUC 295
W. Corbin SPT 289

Strikeouts
T. Tovares LUX 299
E. Hoffman LUX 292
W. Corbin SPT 281
D. DeVree BSC 272
P. Hood BAY 268

Opponents AVG
C. Brabham KEN .200
K. Greenwood RH .211
S. Hyder OZK .217
D. DeVree BSC .219
J. Nieman ARL .227

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Saturday, October 11, 2002

Valmara's Kazmarek and East Point's Zadoka MVPs
The baseball writers had an easy task this year to choose the Most Valuable Players in the Islandian Pro Alliance. When a player hits .428 and another booms 54 homers it's a no-brainer. Jet Kazmarek of the Valmara Vipers and Karol Zadoka of the East Point Panthers have been selected their respective leagues MVPs for 2002.

Valmara outfielder Jet Kazmarek had a remarkable season with a .428 batting average, totally shattering the old mark by over 50 points. Volusia's shortstop Scooter Perez had the old record with a .374 average. The 27-year-old Viper star assailed Ruthlandian pitchers for 253 hits and posted a remarkable .428 batting average. The 5' 6" Kazmarek packs a lot of power in his small frame. He slammed 49 doubles, 29 triples and 15 home runs this season. Kazmarek also stole 85 bases, drove in 111 runs and scored 135 times. He now hold the IPA mark for most runs scored, topping Bayview's Alan Hansen's old record of 129, No wonder he was a unanimous choice for the Ruthlandian Union Most Valuable Player Award.

"I have to thank my teammates," Kazmarek said at a news conference at War Memorial Stadium. "Obviously this is not an award that you win by yourself. My teammates were involved every day, day in and day out, supporting me, getting on base and driving me in. These kinds of numbers, you can't do it by yourself."

The Tycobbian Union selected East Point second baseman Karol Zudoka as its Most Valuable Player. He had a year that rivaled Kazmarek's. The 28-year-old Zudoka won the Triple Crown as the awesome slugger led the league in hitting with a .351 average, a record-setting 54 roundtrippers and 146 RBIs. Zadoka easily set new IPA marks for homers and RBIs. The old records were set last year. In 2001 Doug Coleman of Bayview hammered 45 homers and Jan Szymanski drove in 135 runs for Valmara. The lanky 6'3" 165-pound Zudoka racked up 221 hits, 35 doubles, 3 triples and scored 119 runs in an outstanding season.

Zadoka was asked if he ever expected to be a league MVP. He replied, "If I told you at the beginning of the season I knew I'd be in this situation, I'd be lying. This is a dream come true and what you always dream of as a kid. Sometimes dreams come true and surprise you."

East Point's skipper Griff Clarke told BNN, "Karol is a very focused individual. His approach to each at bat is the same. Nothing riles him up... nothing derails his execution. The result was a very unique, very special season."

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Sunday, October 12, 2002

Around the Town In the IPA

TURON TYPHOONS

Owner: Anastas International Shipping

GM/Manager: Ashton “Whitey” Richburn

Turon is a seaport town of 118,000 in the Caledonia River basin on the southwestern coast of Tycobbia and its second largest population-wise. The Caledonia River terminates here after winding 500 miles from east to west from Red Bluff in the central Silver Mountains southward through Hillsboro and then flowing westward near the towns of South Fork, Denton City and Arlon. The river finally comes to an end in Turon and empties into the Kelnyck Ocean and Southern Sea.

It is a cosmopolitan town with a diversified economy and a mecca for tourists. Turon is a busy trade and distribution center with many shipping interests. Agriculture flourishes here with extensive farmlands in the Caledonia River basin. It is also a diversity of cultures and was settled in the 1840s and 1850s by French, Scottish, Irish and German settlers, who came to get away from religious intolerance and persecution. Southerners from the United States came in good numbers after the Civil War defeat. Turon became their New South, but minus the slave culture.

Turon is resplendent with beauty. Streets and boulevards lined with grand live oak trees and antebellum mansions. In the countryside are majestic plantations. Near the coast you'll find sugar-white sandy beaches. You'll find plenty of Old World in Turon, but also plenty of the Modern World, too.

The Turon Typhoons of the IPA's South Division in a very modern baseball palace, Typhoon Stadium. It is built with concrete and steel to withstand the occasional typhoon that emanates from the cold and icy waters of the Kelnyck Ocean. The old ballpark was completely destroyed twice in 1938 and 1967. The new stadium was completed in 1999 and houses the Tyrobbian Baseball Hall of Fame, a must-see for all Islandian baseball fans. It covers the entire spectrum and includes memorabilia from the amateur, college and industrial leagues.

The Typhoons really are active promoters with something going on each inning during the ballgames. All kinds of promotions, games and stunts to enliven and entertain the fans. Wild music tracks fill the stadium to rally the Typhoons and their fans. Concessions are stocked with all of the traditional ballpark delights.

Turon is owned by wealthy shipping tycoon, Onnie Anastas. His GM and Manager is Ashton “Whitey” Richburn, one of the finest defensive center fielders and lead-off men in Tycobbian baseball history.

Typhoon Stadium (1999)

Capacity: 8,010

Dimensions:
Left Field Line - 335
Left Field - 355
Left Center - 380
Center Field - 410
Right Center - 380
Right Field - 355
Right Field Line - 345

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Monday, October 13, 2002

Around the Town In the IPA

VALKA BLACKHAWKS

Owner: Cybertel

Andrus Valk, President

GM/Manager: Jaan Kurus

Valka is found on the southeastern coast of Ruthlandia near Crystal Lake, just 20 miles from the Valerian Ocean. It is a modern town of 82,000 inhabitants, settled by Estonian emigres in the 1890s, who wanted to escape Russian domination of their country. A wealthy landowner, Olev Valk, purchased the land near
the lake and set up a community. When a town grew up around the Valk estate, the citizens began to call the town, Valka, in honor of the Valk family. There were three other waves of emigration from Estonia, in 1918 after WWI ended, in the late 1930s, just prior to WWII, and in 1991, at the end of Soviet rule. Today about half of the residents are of Estonian descent.

Originally Valka was an agrarian economy, based on vegetable farming, poultry and pork. It remained that way until the 1940's, when the Ruthlandian Institute of Technology was created under the leadership of Hendrik Valk. In the 1950s he started a small company, Cybertel, that blossomed in the 80s into a
high-tech electronics and communications conglomerate.

Baseball was slow in coming to Valka and wasn't played until about 1920. It was an alien game to the Valkans. But as time went by, more and more of their kids began to play the game. By the 1940s the town had an amateur league, which was expanded to an industrial league. Cybertel and the Institute were both active participants in company league baseball. When the Islandian Pro Alliance was created, the Valk family made sure they had a team. They also made sure they had a stadium, too. Cybertel spared no expense in creating a state-of-the-art baseball Taj Mahal, Cybertel Park, the home of the Valka Blackhawks.The team name was
chosen by Hendrik's son, Andrus, the current Cybertel board president. As a kid in the 40's and 50s, he idolized the comic book heroes, the Blackhawks, a multi-national air squadron, who fought the evil Axis Powers in WWII and the Communists in the Cold War. The team colors are blue and black, the colors of the Estonia flag and also the color of the flying Blackhawks uniform.

Cybertel Park is in the centerpiece of a beautiful downtown landscaped park area. A trip to the ballpark is something to behold with its massive centerfield fountains just beyond the outfield fences and huge electronic scoreboard. No ballpark in the Islands has the high-tech electronic pyrotechnic capabilities like the Blackhawks. A special treat for the kids is when the team mascot, Blackie, a trained hawk, delivers baseballs to the homeplate umpire. Concessions at Cybertel Park are traditional with hot dogs, hamburgers, cokes, peanuts and crackerjacks. However, to the delight of many fans, Valka's two favorite beers, Saku and A. Le Coq, are served during the games. Both brands are imported from the old home country.

Jaan Kurus, who headed the Cybertel company leagues for many years, is the GM and Manager of the Blackhawks.

Cybertel Park (2000)

Capacity: 9,503

Dimensions:
Left Field Line - 340
Left Field - 355
Left Center - 375
Center Field - 405
Right Center - 375
Right Field - 355
Right Field Line - 340

[Eugene Church]

Special thanks to Raideroo for writing 95% of the Valmara town history.

The Islandian Times

Tuesday, October 14, 2002

Around the Town In the IPA

VALMARA VIPERS

Owner: Viper Offshore Services, headed by Capt. Stanislaw Lem, Ruthlandia Navy (ret)

GM/Mgr: J. Jackson Samuel

Valmara is located in the northeastern part of Valdar Island, a port town of 81,000 people on Valmara Bay, an excellent deep water harbor. A clash of a warm Valerian Ocean current and a cold Kelnyck Ocean provides for heavy early morning fogs.

The town began as a small fishing village in the 1880s and pretty much remained that way until the late 1930s. Valmara has never been considered a pleasant place to live with rocky soil, thick ocean fogs and moss growing everywhere. If not for its wonderful port, no one in their right mind would live there. The harbor and the port have brought commerce and jobs.The prime industries of Valmara revolve around the sea, be it catching and processing fish, servicing deep-ocean oil rigs or supporting the ten-ship navy of Ruthlandia.

With the threat of world war on the horizon in 1938, the Ruthlandian government established Valdarian Military Academy, a college for cadets and midshipmen studying for future service in the Ruthlandian Navy.

During the Second World War, Ruthlandia was swept up in the maelstrom in the nation's first and only war. The nation sent a regiment of troops and fighter squadron to Italy, where they served with the 2nd Polish Corps at Monte Cassino. After the war, many Poles opted not to return to their Soviet-occupied nation and several hundred emigrated to Ruthlandia. Many of the ex-soldiers did not go far past Valmara when they got off the boat.

Over the next four decades, many Poles emigrated (or escaped) from behind the Iron Curtain to Ruthlandia. After two generations of migration and birth, more than half of the town is of Polish descent.

The Valmara Vipers are owned by Capt. Stanislaw Lem, RN (ret.) of Viper Offshore Services. He is not related to the noted author of the same name, which often causes non-native reporters much trouble. The owner likes to be called "The Captain" in public. Lem made a small fortune after his navy career operating ships and helicopters that serve offshore oil rigs. Thanks to the recent spike of oil prices, his company's profits have gone through the roof. The Captain had no problem coming up with money to buy a franchise in the Islandian Pro Alliance, the first pro baseball league in the Islands history. Valmara plays in the Ruthlandian Baseball Union in the North Division.

The Valmara Vipers will play their games at historic old War Memorial Stadium. Amateur and industrial league teams have used it for years. It is dedicated to the memory of the 121 men from Ruthlandia killed in action in the Italian campaign during the Second World War. It is a old stadium built for football and soccer, but improvised and used for baseball since 1946. The Captain commissioned noted architectural company HOK to renew the old park into a suitable baseball park. He spared no expense in updating the old stadium with modern technology and conveniences. Yet it still retains the charm of an old stadium.

Game-Day Experience:

Like many successful immigrants, the people of Valmara have fiercely adopted the values of their new nation. Ruthlandia's flag is navy blue and green. In Valmara, it's just taken to a ridiculous extreme. The team’s colors are navy blue and green. So are the water towers, the dockyard cranes, the street signs and the new city hall.

Captain Lem wanted to build a new ballpark, but the city fathers persuaded him to just refurbish the old stadium in the old part of town to be an anchor for a new mixed residential-commercial district. Civic pride got the best of the Captain and he agreed to use War Memorial Stadium. The civic renewal project has been quite successful. Because there is little parking nearby, fans have to walk nearly a quarter mile to the park. On the way, they are treated to a dozen new restaurants, bars, and pubs. The integration into the neighborhood is considered to be charming. The revitalization project has brought a good deal of commerce and energy into the east side of town. The worst of the neighborhood was torn down. The city fathers have expanded the renovations and giving the old town a new look.

Food:
Fans love to scarf down bigos (cabbage and meat stew) and rye bread at cafes adjacent to the ballpark. Inside the park, everyone loves perogis (potato and cheese dumplings). Several years ago, The Captain persuaded Mama Kolski's Restaurant (home of the best perogis in town) to open a stand at his new ballpark and it was a big hit.

Beer sales are strictly regulated by city ordinance to two beers per person. This is due to the locals’ love of pale lagers that are 9% alcohol. Also, for a strange unknown reason, draft Coors is a trendy choice.

Ambiance:
Music at the ballpark is best described as LOUD. The Captain installed a very modern, very powerful sound system at the refurbished stadium.

More than a decade ago, a sound system operator substituted the Village People's "In the Navy" for the traditional "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the seventh inning stretch and started a new tradition. It was a college night at an industrial league game, with plenty of middies from Valdarian Military Academy on hand and many crewmembers from the frigates Viper and Foxx. It was a smash hit, no doubt fueled by a hot autumn evening, cold pale lager and the nine-run Viper lead. Since then, "In the Navy" has been played during the seventh inning stretch of every game save one -- the first game at the revamped War Memorial Stadium. The Captain hates the tune and thought with the public reopening that the club could stop playing that vile song. During the Vipers first exhibition game this year, the fans nearly rioted and the stadium's debut was marred with a near five-minute interruption of boos before play resumed. Wisely, The Captain made a quick command decision and allowed "In the Navy" to be played during the 8th inning break...and during every game since. Of course, the Captain saw to it that "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" was restored to its revered seventh inning spot.

In the navy
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
In the navy
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
In the navy
Come on now, people, make a stand
In the navy, in the navy
Can't you see we need a hand
In the navy
Come on, protect the motherland
In the navy
Come on and join your fellow man
In the navy
Come on people, and make a stand
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)

Mascot

The Captain (he considers himself a traditionalist) did not believe in having a mascot until he put his own money into the old ball park. At that point, he had to figure out how to attract every dollar possible from every fan possible. So Vippy and Vippa Viper came into being. They parade around the ballpark entertaining the fans and leading cheers, dances and songs. Viper fans are noted for hissing at the umpires and the opposing teams. The Captain sells a lot Vippy and Vippa apparel and memorabilia...even rents them out to for birthday parties at the stadium, when the team is on the road.

History

Baseball on Valdar Island had a late beginning. Due to the Island topography, climate and lack of mineral deposits it was not as desirable as the Ruthlandian mainland, so it was bypassed by the immigrants until about 1910, when the towns of Valmara, Ancona, Kilkenny, Fairhaven and Ranford sprang up. From 1910 to 1920, touring amateur baseball teams from the mainland would play games from time to time and the game was introduced slowly. But it did catch on. In a desire to assimilate with the rest of the country, where baseball was like a religion, the Valdarians took to the game with passion and fervor. Amateur baseball clubs and company-based teams began to organize in the 1920s. By the mid-1940's Valdar Island baseball was as good as the Mainland.

The Valmara Vipers trace their history from the frigate Viper, which had a team in the Naval League in the 1940's. When the amateur league players became semi-pros in the 1950s and worked and played baseball for companies, the Vipers were sponsored by Marine Midland Bank. The Captain played baseball for his service team in the 1960s and was active in the industrial leagues as a sponsor in the 1970s, 80s and 90s. Since Captain Lem had been the captain of the frigate Viper in the late 1960s, when it came to naming his IPA franchise, it was a no-brainer. The Valmara Vipers were born.

The team is managed by J. Jackson Samuel, a run-of-the-mill industrial league player that became a legendary manager. Samuel broke Jay Loman's record for the most Silver Whale Cups, given to the best amateur team on Valdar Island. Loman was the manager of the Ancona Red Elephants in the 1920s and won nine straight Valdar Island League titles. Samuel won 12 during his amateur career, piloting the Valmara Vipers of the Islandian Amateur Baseball Association.

War Memorial Stadium (1946)

Capacity: 9,595

Dimensions:
Left Field Line - 330
Left Field - 350
Left Center - 380
Center Field - 400
Right Center - 370
Right Field - 330
Right Field Line - 309

[Eugene Church]

I am busy working on the rosters, pitching rotations and depth charts for the 2003 season. Teams will try to fill weak spots. I have done 16 of the 64 teams so far. It will probably take a week to do them all, so I can start the new season.

I am going to do all of the pitching rotations, line-ups and depth charts. Last year in the interest saving me a lot of work, I let the AI do it and it did quite a few stupid things... number one was making one of the best hitters in the league a platoon player. The first season he led the IPA with 45 homers. It also took some fine starters and made relievers out of them.

In the meantime I will continue to highlight town histories.

I am going to repeat High Mesa and Elnora, the two finalists for the Pro Cup this year.

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Wednesday, October 15, 2002

Around the Town in the IPA

HIGH MESA COWBOYS

Owner: Dixon and Lula Belle Queen of the Queen Ranch

GM/Manager: Frisky Franks

High Mesa is located in the sparsely-populated central region of Tycobbia, a dry, dusty plains area with scrubby vegetation and low rainfall. It is midway between Ozarka in the Silver Mountains to the east, Bay St. Clair on the west coast and Midway on the Appian River to the northwest, about 100 miles from each. High Mesa has about 40,000 population.

It was sleepy little village when the Queen family arrived in 1870 from war-torn Texas in the United States. Richard Queen had made his money in shipping and riverboats during the Civil War and lost much of his wealth for being on the wrong side. He and his family migrated to Tycobbia to start anew. Queen was a good businessman and when he toured the high plains area east of Bay St. Clair, he found the perfect spot for his ranch. It had the only water hole for 100 miles in any direction and was shaded and sheltered by large mesquite trees. From that small holding Queen expanded to the biggest ranch in the Islands over the next 50 years. The Queen Ranch has grown to almost a million acres and is still in business today, guided by Richard Queen's descendants.

For the last century and a half the Queen Ranch has concentrated on raising cattle and supplies much of beef in Tycobbia. In the 1930's oil was discovered on the property and made the ranch even more profitable. The Queen family's oil industry contacts made it much easier for them to get an IPA franchise, quite an achievement for such a small town. Friends like the Ewing Oil family made it possible. The Queen Ranch is also famous for its thoroughbred horses and has produced many Arlon Derby winners over the years.

The High Mesa Cowboys play at a beautiful old stadium built in 1914. Queen Ranch Stadium has ivy-covered outfield fences that are unique in all of the Islands. It's a hitter's ballpark with short power alleys and a short center field. High-scoring slugfests are commonplace at Queen Ranch Stadium. The Cowboys have a Rhinestone Cowboy as their mascot. He gallops around the field on a splendid golden Palomino whooping it up and exhorting the crowd to cheer for the Cowboys.

An even more special treat and a great sight to see are the Rhinestone Cowgirls, an eight-member dance team that leads cheers and dances on the dugouts during the game. Some say they alone are worth the price of admission.

Queen Ranch Stadium also serves a delicious ribeye steak sandwich at the concession stands. They are cooked right before you eyes on huge barbecue grills, filling the stands with the fragrance of sizzling steaks and grilled onions. Mouth-watering hamburgers and hot dogs are also on the menu along with the customary soft drinks and beer.

The High Mesa Cowboys are managed by Frisky Franks, who starred as a great second baseman in college and the industrial leagues. Franks is one of the all-time greats in Islandian baseball history, both as a player and a manager. He also doubles as the club's general manager.

Queen Ranch Stadium (1914)

Capacity: 6,575

Dimensions:
Left Field Line 355
Left Field 357
Left Center 368
Center Field 390
Right Center 368
Right Field 363
Right Field Line 353

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Wednesday, October 15, 2002

Best Quote of the Week in IPA Baseball

My favorite quote of this past baseball season came from Zoggy White, the manager of the Elnora All-Stars, who suffered the indignity of being swept in the IPA Pro Cup Series by the High Mesa Cowboys.

White lamented to BNN reporters after the third and final game of the series, "They say anything can happen in a short series. I just didn't expect it to be that short."

[Eugene Church]

The Islandian Times

Wednesday, October 15, 2002

Around the Town in the IPA

ELNORA ALL-STARS

Owner/GM: George Costanza

Manager: Zoggy White

Elnora, population 101,000, is a port city at the edge of the Great Plains on the east coast of Ruthlandia near the Valerian Ocean. It is one of the earliest settlements in the Islands. Elnora is the site of grain processing plants, vast wheat fields and shipping docks.

It was the home of the first amateur teams formed by companies and commercial enterprises in the 1920s. Players were given jobs by the companies and then given ample time off to practice their skills and to play games to publicize the companies' wares, services and products to the baseball fans of Ruthlandia.

The Elnora All-Stars are owned by a wealthy eccentric by the name of George Costanza. He made a fortune in reality television with a show "about nothing". Costanza jumped at the chance to get a franchise in the Islandian Pro Alliance and immediately began signing up all of the amateur all-stars and named his team the All-Stars. But IPA commissioner, John Banson, refused to approve the contracts. Costanza had to go through the league draft to get his players.

Elnora plays in the Ruthlandian Union and is in the North Division.

The Elnora All-Stars play at State Fair Park, which is the site of the Ruthlandian State Fair each year. It is the largest midway and carnival in the Islands. State Fair Park is famous for serving great soups, made by the famous Elaine Benes Soup Company. Costanza imported a renowned and sometimes difficult chef from Argentina to manage his concessions. In addition to traditional baseball foods, wonderful soups like mulligatawny, lima bean, turkey chili, crab bisque, cold cucumber, corn and crab chowder are served up at the ballpark. A word of warning, don't ask for bread. The Chef demands that all customers in his restaurant follow his meticulous (and seemingly arbitrary) soup-ordering instructions to the letter, lest they be refused service by his insistent avowal, "No soup for you!"

Costanza did go out and get a great manager for the All-Stars. He hired one of the most successful industrial league manager in Ruthlandian baseball history, Zoggy White. He was only a semi-mediocre outfielder, but really made his mark as a manager. In reference to his success as a player versus his success as a manager, White once said, "Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it." His style of play, which was nicknamed "Whiteyball," concentrates on pitching, speed, and defense to win games rather than home runs. White's baseball philosophy also includes a preference for patient hitters with high on-base percentages.

State Fair Park (1971)

Capacity: 12,500

Dimensions:
Left Field Line - 335
Left Field - 370
Left Center - 399
Center Field - 415
Right Center - 399
Right Field - 370
Right Field Line - 335