SIDE ARM A Fictional Player Story

[vrobx1]

There was still no word on Dravecky the next night as we finished our series in Pittsburgh.

I didn't dress this night as they decided to rest my arm.

Tony Gwynn was the hero of the night with three hits and scored twice and we slipped past the Pirates 4-3.

We hopped the short flight to Philadelphia the next morning. I ordered a standard Pepsi.

"I like this song," the waitress said as she brought the Pepsi to me.

"I've never heard it. Who sings it?"

"U2."

"You Too?"

"Yeah, but it's just the letter and the number. U. 2."

"Huh."

"I can't live. With or without you."

She sang along with the song.

"Wow. He can't live with or without this woman? Sucks to be him!"

She giggled and headed on down the aisle.

I shook my head and sipped my Pepsi.

In the opener in Philadelphia, Jimmy Jones and Tim Belcher combined to strike out ten but the Phillies scored five runs in the second inning and beat us 5-3.

The next morning, Coach Jackson knocked on the door to my motel room.

"James," he said as he sat down. "Dave is going to have surgery to remove bone chips in his elbow."

Man, that really sucked.

"You are going to be moving into the rotation. Could be for the rest of the season. He might make it back in September. October is more likely."

I sighed.

"I wanted in the starting rotation, Coach. But not like this."

Not like this.

[vrobx1]

That night, the Phillies won their sixth in a row, beating us 8-4.

The next morning, I called home, I called Beth, I called Coach Cummings.

"I'm starting today. Yeah, in Philadelphia. Yeah, I am excited! Scared too. Yeah, the Phillies are tough. It's a day game."

My first ever start in the majors.

One by one, my teammates came to give me an extra pat on the back. Gwynn. McReynolds. Oberkfell. Speier. Even grouchy Ozzie Guillen. And, of course, Santiago.

"Okay, let's get the kid some runs," Willie McGee shouted as he went to lead off the game.

And promptly grounded out.

After we didn't score in the first, I headed to the mound.

"Just pitch your game," Santiago said. "You'll be fine."

He put down the number 1.

Fastball.

I rared back with everything I had.

Oh it was just a little bit outside.

Strike one!

I hope Blue gives me that much leeway all night!

Juan Samuel then swung at a low 0-2 slider and flew out to center.

Yes.

Out number one.

The Phillies would get a single in the first but nothing more.

In the top of the second, Bennie mashed a solo home run. After he rounded the bases, he tapped me on the chest back in the dugout.

"That was for you, James."

The top of the second ended with me grounding to second.

Still looking for my first major league hit.

Starting the second inning, I struck out Ken Griffey Sr. After four straight fastballs, Bennie called for the curve and Griffey whiffed, thinking another fastball was coming.

Tim Wallach, though, hit a one out triple and scored on a groundout.

I ended the second striking out Tim Laudner.

"Dang it! I can't believe I did that."

"We'll get it back, James." Gwynn said.

"You just get ready to pitch the third," Speier chimed in.

It was Kevin McReynolds who got it back, hitting a two-run shot in the top of the third.

I took the mound in the bottom of the third with a 3-1 lead.

Their pitcher led off and I got my third strikeout of the game.

Juan Samuel singled and then Chili Davis hit a double with two out to bring him home. But I got Dwight Evans to ground back to me to end the inning with us on top 3-2.

Bennie led off the top of the fourth with a double and then Speier brought him home with a one out single.

My catcher making sure I get plenty of run support.

Thank you Bennie.

I came up to bat next and struck out trying to execute the sacrifice bunt.

Is there an award for the worst hitting pitcher in all of baseball?

I got into a jam in the bottom of the fourth. A single and a walk to get things started. But a lineout and popout suddenly brought their pitcher up with two outs.

I don't think I threw a strike the entire at bat but he swung at an inside fastball on a full count to strike out and I had gotten out of the jam.

My guys kept adding runs to my support. Ozzie scored on a passed ball in the top of the fifth and we led 5-2.

In the bottom of the fifth, I faced Davis again with a runner on second but struck him out this time as he was fooled by a low curve. Dwight Evans then grounded out to end this inning.

The Phillies went down in order in the sixth.

I led off the top of the seventh batting, meaning I wasn't in danger of being pulled just yet. I just swung at the first pitch and...

Crack!

Holy sh....

I almost forgot to run as the ball traveled into the outfield and over the center fielder's head. I hit first. "Keep going!" the first base coach yelled! I rounded first and headed towards second and slid in....

Safe!

...with a double.

My first ever professional base hit!

How you like them apples!

I panted a little bit as Willie McGee worked the count to 2-2. I am not used to running. Willie then grounded the ball down the first base line and I moved to third as Willie was thrown out.

Isn't that supposed to be the other way around?

Ozzie was next and he fell behind 1-2 before grounding a base hit under Samuel's glove.

And I had scored a run!

The guys on the team really mobbed me after that one.

"We might have to use you as a pinch hitter when you're not pitching," Kruk joked.

I headed to the mound with a 6-2 lead in the bottom of the seventh. I was still a bit winded and missed three straight times and Bennie came out to the mound.

"Just take a deep breath, James. Take your time."

Alas, I walked him on five pitches.

But, once the next batter grounded to first, I caught my second wind and finished off the inning.

My day was done. George Hendrick pinch hit for me in the eighth.

The Phillies got a run in the ninth but we won 6-3.

The clubhouse was a rowdy party.

"Welcome to the big leagues, James!"

"That's showing them, James!"

"We got a future star superstar here!"

"Hey, James!" Manager Dick Williams. "The tv crew wants to talk to you!"

Oh wow...

It is a league-wide custom to have a local tv station send a crew to away games to televise the action. They don't show home games because they want you to attend, But they will show away games that you can't attend.

And will use them to promote home games so that you will come out to the ballpark.

"Robert James. Your first career start and you got the win. How are you feeling right now?"

"I am honestly on Cloud Nine right now. I got to give credit to my teammates. They backed me on defense and really came through with the run support."

"You didn't do too bad, yourself. A double and a run scored. What was that like for you?"

"I hate running bases. That's tiring!"

"You came out and got the win and ended the Phillies six game winning streak."

"We came out and got the win. As a team. Because that is what we are. We are a team! A team who wants to bring the first ever division title to the city of San Diego!"

"Thank you for joining us and congratulations again on a great performance."

"Thank you."

As we dispersed from Veterans Stadium, Coach Jackson patted me on the back.

"Okay, James, you head back to San Diego and the training staff working on your arm for your next start."

"I'm not going to New York?"

"Nope. You're not going to be needed there."

Life as the number five starter.

I wondered if someone had a video tape of my game today. I could send my parents and Beth and Coach Cummings a copy.

And my buddy in the military.

I packed up my bags and checked out of my room and headed to the airport. I could be back in San Diego and get a couple extra hours of daylight thanks to the time zone changes.

I got my ticket and sat down with some people who had no idea who I was and watched television while I waited for my call to board.

"Once again, Iranian military aircraft has attacked an American frigate, killing thirty-seven Navy personnel."

Oh my God....

[Izz]

Boom!

[vrobx1]

The USS Stark was part of the Middle East Task Force assigned to patrol off the Saudi Arabian coast. According to military intelligence, the USS Stark was attacked by a Dassault Mirage F1.

The Iranian Prime Minister said that the Persian Gulf is not a safe place for the superpowers. The Iraq Foreign Ministry spokesman said Iraq would never attack any target in the Gulf that wasn't Iranian.

President Reagan placed blame on Iran as well.

Back in San Diego, I was meeting with the training staff and getting myself some rest and recovery as we beat the Mets in the opener in New York 5-3.

Some of the guys talked about the attack on the Stark.

Would this drag us into the Iraq-Iran War?

We should have blown Iran up when they took American hostages when Carter was President.

The next night, we watched the Padres pound the Mets 13-9 in a 21 hit attack. Then we went out to watch Beverly Hills Cop 2.

More news came in on the USS Stark. The Pentagon claimed that an Iranian helicopter had assisted in rescue operations.

Just like that, the narrative had changed and it was looking like it had been an Iraqi aircraft that had fired the missiles.

Whatever the case, I had friends in the military and did not wish to see them sent to war.

As we watched the last game of the series in New York, the discussion turned to a different kind of war.

A pro wrestling war!

It seems that the King Jerry Lawler was suing the King Harley Race and the WWF for using the name King.

I didn't think Lawler had a very good case.

Wresling has always had multiple wrestlers using the same nickname. There was Mad Dog Vachon and Mad Dog Buzz Sawyer. Hacksaw Duggan and Hacksaw Butch Reed. There were multiple Nature Boys.

If I was the judge, I'd throw the case out.

Then again, I hate lawsuits anyways.

We didn't get the sweep in New York. The Mets won 5-2 in the finale.

That left us with a record of 25-17.

Still a game behind the Dodgers.

I hate the Dodgers.

Sent from my K88 using Tapatalk

[vrobx1]

Phone calls.....

"I'm the number five starter. So, it will be irregular times when I start...Second week of June, we are in Houston. I'd love to start against the Astros....I might end up starting the weekend before in Atlanta though....You could see me on tv. WTBS carries all the Braves games....I'm for sure I'll be starting in one of those series....Yeah, that is true. If I pitch in Atlanta, I will have time off and we can spend more time together....I know, Beth, but let me get a million dollars and I'll fly you to San Diego and we can spend all summer together....Haha. I'll never make a million dollars playing baseball. Nolan Ryan doesn't even get paid a million dollars."

"What do you mean I might still be on the trade block?...They certainly might decide to go with a veteran arm down the stretch....But I'm the fifth starter....Even if we make the playoffs, I would spend the post season in the bullpen....You think they would bring in a big contract to be a fifth starter and pitch from the bullpen if we happened to make the NLCS?....Look, Nick, don't be pushing for a trade. I like this team. I like the possibility that I can be a part of history with this team. I want to stay in San Diego."

[vrobx1]

We began a nine game home stand by losing two out of three to Montreal. We then beat the Phillies 4-3 in the first game of the series against Philadelphia.

Then it was my turn again.

We were 27-19. Two behind the Dodgers.

The Phillies were 25-16. A game and a half behind the Mets.

It was Tuesday, May 26, 1987.

The night I would make my first start at Jack Murphy Stadium.

It was a cool night, 58 degrees. Partly cloudy. A light wind blowing out to the right.

Terry Kennedy would be behind the plate. Though I had worked more with Bennie, I had gotten used to Kennedy as well.

And I had beaten the Phillies in my first start.

They also now had a game of experience facing me.

I called Beth before the game. Just to hear her voice. Settle my nerves a little.

Take her to the mound with me.

The first pitch of the game went to deep center. And into Willie McGee's glove.

And then I walked Chili Davis on four pitches.

Blue wasn't giving me the knees. I hate when the ump squeezes my strike zone.

The Phillies cashed it in and we were down 1-0.

Gwynn tied the game in the bottom of the first with an RBI triple and then scored on a McReynolds sacrifice fly and we led 2-1.

All the Phillies got in the second was a single.

But I was falling behind in the count too much and in the third, I walked Darrell Evans on four pitches with two men out. Von Hayes then singled to put runners at the corners. I then fell behind Tim Wallach 2-0 but he swung at a high fastball and flied out to left to retire the side.

Then I was up to bat to lead off the bottom of the third.

Down 1-2 I took a big cut and was so far ahead of the changeup I had struck out before the ball even reached the plate.

I finally got my first strikeout of the game as Griffey swung at a changeup on a 2-2 count and was, like I had been, expecting fastball.

With a runner on first and two out, I walked their pitcher.

I was pitching like crap!

Juan Samuel then grounded to first to retire the side.

Despite my command being all over the map, we were still up 2-1.

In the top of the fifth, Stanicek booted a one out grounder but made it up on the next batter by starting the four to six to three to retire the side.

In the bottom of the fifth, I came up to bat with the bases empty and two out. Why can't I get up 0-2 like Tim Leary was on me?

He missed with a low fastball and then came on the outside edge with a forkball. This time I waited on it and rolled it right up the middle for a base hit.

My first ever hit in Jack Murphy Stadium!

Willie McGee then grounded out. At least I didn't have to run as much this time.

In the top of the sixth, I was really in a bind. The Phillies had runners at the corners with nobody out and the score was still just 2-1. Kruk then knocked down a groundball but Alfredo Griffin beat me to the bag and Tim Wallach scored from third to tie the game. Ozzie Guillen made a couple of good defensive plays to push the situation to runners at second and third with two out.

Back to the top of the order.

I got ahead on Juan Samuel 1-2 on three fastballs. Kennedy then called for the slider.

The ball cut and ended up belt high right in the middle of the plate.

Samuel never saw it coming and just watched it go by.

Strike three!

Runners stranded.

Score 2-2.

The offensive support I had gotten in my first start just wasn't here tonight. Through six innings, we had just four hits, including mine.

I fell behind Davis 2-0 but he grounded a low inside fastball to Kruk and I beat Davis to the bag to get the out.

I fell behind Evans 2-0 but evened the count and he popped out to second.

Von Hayes then swung at a first pitch low inside fastball and flew out to right.

Three up. Three down.

Well, how about that!

As I took the mound in the eighth, I did so knowing this was my last inning tonight. The game was still tied and my spot would be leading off the bottom of the inning.

I got Tim Wallach to fly out to right on two pitches.

Then Dick Williams headed to the mound, pointing at his left hand.

Really? Won't even let me finish the eighth?

Just when I had finally started pitching well too.

I handed Skip the ball and the 26,234 cheered as I walked off the field with a guaranteed no decision.

And, pitching in the hitter spot, Jeff Hamilton led off the bottom of the eighth with a home run. We added one more and won 4-2.

Craig Lefferts got the win. Roger McDowell got the save.

I had gone 7.1 innings, allowed two runs on eight hits and three walks and struck out two.

"James! Go talk to the press."

Again?

A thirty-something year old blond woman in a pantsuit led me onto the field and introduced me to Greg Jurica of the local ABC Network.

Again, a few softball questions about how I felt about the game as he buttered up my performance.

I gave the polite answers, praising my teammates and talking about how this was about the team and not myself.

After the interview was over, Miss Blonde Pantsuit pulled me aside.

"You don't give glory to God when you win a game?"

"Huh?"

"It's what athletes do. Give glory to God for winning the game."

"I never thought God cared who won these games."

She looked at me like I had just committed an unforgivable sin.

Sorry, folks, I will not be making people think that the only team God helps win games is the Padres.

[vrobx1]

The final game of the series went to the Phillies 5-2. I spent the game in the hot tub. Oh, what a life.

I was then approached about joining some of the other Padres in a Just Say No commercial.

Just Say No public service announcements were becoming a huge fad among celebrities. Some of whom weren't just saying no.

I needed to talk to Nick about this. I didn't mind helping out a sincere anti-drug movement but I did not want to become guilty by association if word ever got out on the real drug usage of some of the people involved in the Just Say No Campaign.

Nick agreed and we decided to decline to participate.

[vrobx1]

ROOKIE REFUSES TO JUST SAY NO
by Allan "Skip" Smith

Drugs and sports.

The two have intertwined with heartbreaking results for decades. Bullet Bob Hayes. Thomas Hollywood Henderson. Len Bias.

And, now, the San Diego Padres very own super-rookie Robert James is being linked to the drug culture of sports.

Recently, several of the Padres players participated in a Just Say No public service announcement that aired on all local San Diego television affiliates.

However, the young Texas pitcher declined to attend.

Declined.

The opportunity to promote goodwill and be an ambassador of the sport at such a young age does not come along to everyone and yet James said no.

James said no to saying no.

The team released a statement that James felt at this time that he should focus on baseball and not be distracted by off-field projects.

But several of his teammates didn't feel that way.

And, James is the fifth starter in the rotation. Not only does he not play every day, he does not even pitch every fifth day.

The thought of James being distracted by a one-shot public service announcement is preposterous.

Bordering on dishonest.

Leaving questions to be asked about why he really turned down the opportunity to take a stand against drugs.

Perhaps it would be in the best interests of the San Diego Padres if they did their own internal drug screening on their younger players.

And maybe they should start with the boy who said no to saying no.

[vrobx1]

"What garbage! What complete garbage!"

I paced.

I don't pace.

I paced.

"This is utter bull...."

"We know it is, James," Coach Jackson said.

I stopped pacing.

Nodded.

Sighed.

Resumed pacing.

"This ...this....guy...can just write in his newspaper that I am doing drugs and I can't do anything about it?"

"That's the real issue, James. He never actually said you were doing drugs. He said you would not participate in the Just Say No Campaign. Which is true. He slanted the story in such a way as to suggest you might be doing drugs but he never actually came out and said it."

"Oh bull bleepity bleep bleep bleep!"

My mother would have been horrified hearing those words come out of my mouth.

"The guy is a hack. Don't worry about him."

"So, why does the newspaper keep him around?"

"Because people will read him. Even people that hate him will read him. Humans are strange that way. Some people just want to be angry about something. So people like Skip Smith will write trash because they know people will be willing to read it."

I shook my head. That made no sense.

"Just be glad this is San Diego and not New York. You should study up on how the New York media treated Roger Maris."

I had heard the stories.

"The media helps us alot. They help promote our product and can be a real asset to increasing revenue which increases our paychecks. So, a lot of times we tolerate them, knowing that they will slice our throat if given a chance."

I finally stopped pacing.

Sat down.

"So, basically, there is nothing I can do about it."

"Actually there is. You stay clean. You never touch any of that stuff. Never give him a chance to say he was right."

We ended the homestand by losing two out of three to the Mets.

In other sports news, Mike Tyson TKO'd Pinklon Thomas in 6 rounds for heavyweight boxing title. And the Edmonton Oilers won the Stanley Cup in seven games over the Philadelphia Flyers.

[vrobx1]

"I know, Beth, it's wild. Tomorrow I am going to be in Canada!"

We were about to start a 13-game road trip. Three in Montreal. Three in Atlanta. Three in Houston. Four in San Francisco.

Without a single day off.

"I'll make at least two starts on this trip. Probably in Atlanta and San Francisco. But I will for sure be in Houston in a week."

We talked a bit about everything going on.

Beth then lost her cool when I told her about the Skip Smith article.

"@#%^#@#$!"

"Beth."

"@#&%#%!"

"Beth!"

"@#$%&@#$%@#$%&!"

"BETH! Language!"

"I want to rip his testicle out and feed them to him through a straw."

Ew....

"Baby, it's okay. He's just an attention seeker. Coach said to just stay clean and he won't ever be able to say I told you so."

"You're damn right he won't. Because if he is ever able to say I told you so, we will be over so fast..."

"In that case, Skip Smith will never be right!"

"I need..." Her voice cracked. "I need this week to hurry up. This is really hard."

I didn't say anything for a second. Then I heard a song in the background.

"What is that song?"

"Set me free why don't you babe," Beth sang. "Because you don't really love me. You just keep me hanging on."

I cringed. "I'm not trying to insult your singing, baby, but that's awful!"

I heard her giggle.

"Whatever happened to great music like Elvira!"

"Bobby, don't...."

"Giddy up a oom papa oom papa mow mow!" I sang in as bad a deep voice as I could muster.

"Oh God, I'm hanging up."

[vrobx1]

As we left the plane, Coach Jackson asked "have you ever been out of the States, James?"

I nodded. "When I was five, I spent a few months in Jamaica. My dad had been transferred there for his job."

"Well, now you have been to Canada. You'll have time to sight see Thursday. Rest up today. You're starting tomorrow."

"Wait, seriously?"

Coach Jackson nodded.

"If I start tomorrow, that means I'll miss the Atlanta series. Which will then have me pitching in Houston."

"Yes, James, you will be starting the opener in Houston."

As soon as we had checked into our hotel, I was on the phone.

I was going to be pitching in the Astrodome!

[vrobx1]

But, first, we had to play the Expos.

We lost the opener 5-3. It was our third straight defeat. We now trailed the Dodgers by four and a half.

I have as many nice things to say about the Dodgers as I do Skip Smith.

He probably was a Dodgers fan.

Jerk.

The next night, I was on the mound at Stade Olympique.

Thirty one year old veteran Danny Darwin was on the mound for the Expos.

We got a run in the top of the first and then out to the mound I went.

Andres Galarrage got ahold of a 2-0 fastball and sent it into the stands to tie the game.

A leadoff home run.

Welcome to Canada.

Well, crap!

The Expos pounded out three more hits in the inning and took a 2-1 lead.

Then, with runners at first and second with one out in the second, I came to bat. I tried to bunt but got behind 0-2 and then popped it up.

I bounced back with three up and three down in the bottom of the second but the Expos got a pair in the third and we were down 4-1.

I came up in the fourth with a runner on first and two out and struck out.

I finally got my first strikeout of the game in the fifth inning, setting down Dale Murphy. I then struck out Pete Incaviglia. But then three straight singles and it was 5-1.

John Kruk hit a solo shot in the sixth to cut teir lead to 5-2.

I then set them down in order in the bottom of the inning.

The Expos and had scored in innings one, three and five.

Not in two, four or six.

Can I just pitch the even number innings?

The sixth inning would be my last inning. George Hendrick pinch hit for me in the seventh and I headed to the showers.

The Expos would add two more runs and beat us 7-2.

My first loss in the majors.

Our losing streak was now at four.

[vrobx1]

Chris Bosio got us off the slide the next night as we beat the Expos 3-0 to avoid the sweep.

The team headed on to Atlanta and I flew home to Texas. One of many perks of being in the starting rotation.

My parents met me at the airport and we made the two hour drive to Jackson County.

Beth's parents, meanwhile, had taken her to a country music dance at the Community Center in Inez. Friday nights, when it wasn't high school football season, the Inez Community Center was the place to be so you could "party with The Drifters". The local cover band that hit the little dance halls

Word had gotten out to everyone.

Everyone but Beth.

As I walked into the Community Center, one by one, our former classmates stopped and stepped aside, watching, the place going quieter as I slowly made my way to where I was standing behind her. Out of sight.

The song stopped and then the front man for The Drifters said, "let's give a big welcome to....from the San Diego Padres...."

I heard her gasp as she turned and looked and then spun and screamed!

It was so loud you couldn't even hear the singer say my name.

She fell to her knees and tears streamed down her face.

"And, he will be starting for the Padres Monday night in the Astrodome against the Houston Astros!"

The place erupted in a huge cheer as I lifted Beth to her feet and walked her out to the dance floor.

I've never been much of a dancer. We kind of just stood still for a minute, arms around each other, the songs blending into one another.

Guys came by and patted me on the back. Girls came by, some of them with watery eyes as well, stepped in, mostly to give Beth a hug.

I took a step back and appraised her for a moment.

She looked at me. "What are you thinking?"

She was never timid about asking what I was thinking.

"I was just thinking how much you look....feminine."

"Is that good. Or bad?"

"Oh. That's good. That's real good."

The night went by way too fast.

On Saturday, we went to Lake Texana, sat on the fishing pier, lines in the water, baited hooks being ignored by the fish.

And by us.

As we just sat side by side. Arms touching. Knees touching. Talking about everything and nothing.

Two young adults slowly realizing that we were in love with each other.

And knowing time was short.

Then, on Sunday, we went to Houston. We all got rooms. Beth got one with my sister. I got one on the team's bill. A double I would end up sharing with Tony Barron.

My parents got a room to themselves.

Don't think they had been ignored. While I had devoted much of my attention to Beth, my parents were there the whole time.

Enjoying the dance in Inez.

Dad cooking while Mom prepared her famous homemade ice cream at Lake Texana.

Going to Houston on Sunday.

We spent the afternoon at Astroworld.

I won Beth the biggest teddy bear ever at the baseball toss. Boy, was the game operator pissed when I told him who I was.

"San Diego Padres. Don't believe me. Come to the Dome tomorrow night. I'm pitching."

"I hope the Astros beat your butt, boy!"

I laughed.

You have to remember, outside of the baseball world itself, and my home town, I was still pretty much an unknown to the rest of the world.

I wasn't Tony Gwynn. Recognizable anywhere and everywhere.

I could still go to some places in San Diego and not be recognized.

So it was no surprise that people at Astroworld had no idea who I was.

But, after I had completely owned the rigged baseball toss, the ones watching certainly believed my story.

The team arrived in Texas that night after sweeping the Braves. We were now 33-24, three and half behind the Dodgers.

[vrobx1]

It was nine o'clock in the morning when I threw up the first time.

"James! Dude, you need a doctor?"

Tony Barron banged on the bathroom door.

"Is it food poisoning?"

I threw up again. Rinsed my mouth out with cold water and came out of the bathroom.

"Dude, you okay?"

"Man, I am scared to death."

"What?"

"This is like a homecoming game for me. This is the team I grew up watching. I been to the Astrodome as a kid to see them play. I have almost an entire school district from two counties coming."

Aw...crap...I just made it in time to throw up again.

"Dude..."

"I stunk in Montreal. The Expos beat me like a red-headed stepchild. But, I can understand. Just one game. Put it behind me."

I sighed and washed my mouth out again.

"I can't pitch like that tonight. Not here. Not tonight."

I didn't eat the whole day. I knew the slightest bit of food would come back up.

I called my parents and Beth and told them I would not see them until after the game. I made up an excuse that the team wouldn't let me.

Fact is, I really thought my last resolve would crumble if I saw them before the game.

"You're a mess James," Santiago told me during warmups.

"I know. I need you, tonight, Bennie."

"I got you, James. But you have to bring yourself back down into the atmosphere. You are too wound up."

There was a small crowd for a baseball game in June. Less than 18,500. But that's Texas. They'd get a bigger crowd at the Texas High School Football State Championship.

We hit first. Got a pair of hits in the first but scored nothing. Ozzie Guillen got picked off of first just before Gwynn hit a triple. Costly!

And then we headed to the field. My adrenaline was on supercharge and nothing was bringing it down. Deep breathing. Finger cracking. Pacing.

Nothing was working.

Bennie called for a slider on the first pitch and it was right in the strike zone.

I then fell behind 2-1 but Jerry Browne, the Astros leadoff hitter, grounded to first. I was Edwin Moses, sprinting for the bag and beat Browne, took the throw from Kruk and got the first out.

Deep breath!

Exhale.

My hometown fans were cheering quite loud. The Astros may have been wondering why so many Padres fans were at the Astrodome.

The fastball was erratic though and I walked Bill Doran on seven pitches. Bennie could sense it and was calling a lot of early off speed.

Kevin Bass grounded a 2-2 changeup past second base but Willie McGee threw Doran out at third.

Two away.

Santiago then caught Bass stealing for the third out.

I took a deep breath and settled down a little. My defense has my back tonight, I thought as I came off the mound.

"Now battng, the pitcher, Robert James."

Sunuvagun.

Runners were at the corners with two out. Top of the second. I needed this run but I had to be the one to bring it in.

And I grounded to the pitcher.

Well, crap.

Bennie called more fastballs in the second inning and the Astros went in order, including RJ Reynolds going down on strikes.

The third inning was the same. Fastball. Fastball. Fastball.

Bennie was making pitch hard to bring down my over-hyperness. And it seemed to be working. I ended the third by striking out their pitcher.

Now, I needed some run support.

Jerry Browne battled me to lead off the bottom of the fourth. Nine pitches before a low inside slider just missed the corner for ball four.

Then I battled back from down 3-0 to strike out Doran.

A 2-2 pitch went too far inside and hit Kevin Bass. Two men on with one out.

Dammit!

Santiago kept the pressure up. Fastball. Fastball. Fastball. Fastball.

Glenn Davis hit the 2-2 low fastball and grounded it down the third base line. Ken Oberkfell snatched the ball, stepped on third and then threw to first for the 5-3 double play!

My defense had done the job again!

Still nothing nothing after four.

Oberkfell drew a leadoff walk in the top of the fifth but Chris Speier grounded into the double play.

That brought me to bat with the bases empty and two out.

Bruce Ruffin threw me three sinkers and I grounded the third one to first.

It was a pitcher's duel between Ruffin and myself.

Who would blink first?

Reynolds led off the bottom of the fifth with a single. Just the Astros second hit of the game. Keith Moreland then grounded into a fielder's choice.

Jody Davis was next.

Fastball. Fastball. Fastball.

Slider!

In Play.

6-4-3.

And the fifth inning was over and there was still no score.

My contingent of fans was getting behind me with each out. Each pitch.

The Astros fans were doing the same for Ruffin.

Who would blink first?

We went down in order in the top of the sixth.

The Astros did the same in the bottom half.

Nothing to nothing after six.

Ruffin was perfect in the seventh.

I answered with the same, striking out Davis to end the seventh.

Seven innings had come and gone.

Zero. Zero.

Each team had just two hits.

But my turn to bat was coming up in the top of the eighth.

They were staying with me.

I again came to bat with no one on and two out.

I grounded a slider to third base but Moreland's throw pulled Davis off the bag and I was on base! Willie McGee then singled to center and I sprinted all the way to third.

This was surreal.

Ozzie Guillen was coming to bat. If he got a hit, I would score the go-ahead run.

In this game!

Of all games!

Ozzie worked the count full and then hit a line drive.

Doran reached out and caught the ball out of the air.

Three away.

Dammit!

On to the bottom of the eighth.

A little bit of my insides had been deflated. I hoped not too much.

I gave up a one out walk in the bottom of the eighth. Jody Davis then hit a 2-run homer. He connected on a low curve on a 1-2 pitch.

Astros led 2-0.

Just like that.

A three-hitter.

And I was going to lose 2-0.

Gwynn grounded out to start the top of the ninth.

But then we got a couple of singles. The Astros had Frank DiPino in and Bennie was batting.

I looked up and watched.

Bennie grounded a 2-2 back to the pitcher but beat out the double play.

Runners were now on the corners with two outs.

Ken Oberkfell got a 2-0 slider and sent it on a drive to right!

Bass on the move.

And caught it to end the game.

The final score was 2-0 Astros.

We all went into the visitor's clubhouse.

I had a seat on a bench and just sat for a while.

I was not ready to see anyone for a while.

[vrobx1]

A roar of applause from over fifty people broke the silence as I finally left the visitor's clubhouse and made my way toward the bus to go back to the motel.

Beth immediately hugged me as I tried to work some moisture into my suddenly-clammy tongue. Sweat trickled down my nose from the Texas summer humidity.

"Helluva game son."

"Damn, we really thought you had this one."

"You'll get 'em net time, Bobby."

"Don't worry, Bob. We know you did the best you could."

All the things you don't want to hear after losing a game you wanted to win more than any other.

I swear, if anyone offers me a Lifesaver, I will punch them right in the mouth!

Coach Cummings shook my hand. "Somedays, you just have to tip your hat to the other guy. Not much else you can do when the other guy pitches a shutout."

Which was true.

I made my way back into the Astrodome and waited until Bruce Ruffin finished talking with the media and then walked up and shook his hand.

"Helluva game. You were the better man, tonight," I said.

He shook it graciously.

"I hope to see your for many years, James," he replied.

Beth stayed in Houston the next two nights as we watched the rest of the series from the stands. The Astros swept us, winning 10-9 in extra innings on Tuesday and then 6-4 with Nolan Ryan getting the win on Wednesday.

We were not doing so well on this long road trip. We were just 4-5 with three of the wins coming in Atlanta.

The Braves were abysmal. The Dodgers also swept them, outscoring Atlanta 53-10 in a three game series.

That is not a typo.

The final scores were 13-6, 14-3 and 26-1.

I really hate the Dodgers.

Our losing streak ended on Thursday in San Francisco as we came from behind to win 6-5.

We then lost the Friday night game 2-0.

But the rest of the country, in fact the rest of the world, was glued to one of the most important Presidential speeches, at least in my lifetime, ever given.

It was from President Ronald Reagan.

And this is what he had to say.

"We welcome change and openness; for we believe that freedom and security go together, that the advance of human liberty can only strengthen the cause of world peace. There is one sign the Soviets can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization, come here to this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

[vrobx1]

Candlestick Park.

The place where I had made my Major League debut.

This afternoon was different. This time, I would be starting.

I was 1-2 with a 3.10 ERA coming into the game. 58.0 IP. 24 BB. 38 K. 50 hits allowed. Two of those hits were home runs.

The Giants were 17-44 with the worst record in baseball.

We got a pair in the top of the first, so I came to the mound with a 2-0 lead.

Five pitches later, we were headed back to bat.

Chris Speier led off the top of the second with a double and then it was my turn to bat. I laid down the sacrfice bunt and moved Speier to third.

But he was stranded there.

Jack Clark got a single in the bottom of the second but that was all the Giants would get.

Kruk led off the top of the third with a homer and we were up 3-0.

Leading off the third, I walked John Rabb on four pitches. Their pitcher then bunted him to second. Brady Anderson then got one of those annoying infield singles and runners were at the corners with one out. I got ahead of Mike Aldrete 0-2 and then he was fooled on a low changeup. He made contact but it popped into shallow right and Gwynn made the catch and Rabb was held at third.

Two down.

A chance to get out of the jam.

Robby Thompson came up to bat.

I missed outside with a changeup. Well I thought I did.

Strike one.

I'll take it!

Thampson missed a low fastball.

Strike two.

A fastball did indeed miss inside to make it 1-2.

I then came back with another fastball, near shoulder high but down the middle and Thompson watched it go by.

Strike three!

And the inning was over.

I had indeed worked out of the jam and we still led 3-0.

I came to bat in the top of the fourth and flew out to center.

Then in the bottom of the fourth, I walked Clark on four pitches. Second straight inning that began with a four pitch walk.

I had to get control of my command!

This one proved costly as, one out later, Bob Brenly smashed a two run homer.

Just like that our lead was only 3-2.

I then fell behind Albert Hall 2-0 before drilling him right in the knee.

I shook my head and took a deep breath. I had no idea what was happening to me but I just could not find the strike zone all of a sudden.

Bennie gave the signal and I went into my windup.

And then whipped the ball to first!

Hall never saw it coming and Kruk made a brilliant catch and tag.

Picked off!

Two away!

Rabb then grounded to short to end the inning.

I was still irritated that I had been so wild in that inning.

I slammed my glove on the bench and glared out at the field. I was not pitching like I could and I knew it.

A thought crept into my mind that I had left some of my game back in Houston.

We went down in order in the fifth.

Their pitcher came up. I got ahead 0-2. Then Atlee Hammaker rolled a low curve down the third base line for an infield single.

That's when you know it's just not your day.

But the top of the order of the Giants went down in order with two fly outs and a groundout.

We still led 3-2.

I came to bat in the top of the sixth with a runner on second and two down.

I fouled off a couple of two strike pitches. If nothing else, I was going to make Hammaker work for the final out.

The count went full.

Hammaker then caught the outside edge with a fastball for strike three.

I fell behind in the count on ever batter in the bottom of the sixth but they still went down in order.

So, we still led 3-2.

On the third pitch of the seventh inning, Willie McGee changed that. A slider went right down the middle and McGee sent it into the left field bleachers.

4-2.

It would be the last pitch of the game for Hammaker.

Gwynn would hit a triple, setting up Ken Oberkfell to come through with a 2-run single with two out to make it 6-21

And we still weren't done.

Chris Speier made it 8-2 with a two-run triple bringing me up to bat. The ninth batter of the inning.

And I sent the first pitch to right field for the third out.

But I was headed to the mound with a six run lead.

I was still falling behind in the count but the Giants went down in order once again.

It's not good to badmouth an opponent but the fact is, it wasn't my pitching shutting the Giants down.

They were just showing why they were the worst team in baseball.

Thompson hit a solo home run in the bottom of the third to make it 8-3. I then walked Clark again on four pitches. Chris Brown then grounded an easy one right back to me to end the inning.

Our offense wasn't done. But I was. Terry Kennedy hit for me in the ninth and got an RBI single as we piled on three more runs.

Tim Belcher then finished off the ninth as we won 11-3.

In the end, 59 of my 99 pitches were counted as strikes. But, some of those were just Giants hitters swinging at really bad pitches.

But, we had won!

Baseball is so funny that way.

You can pitch fantastic, like I had in Houston, and lose.

You can pitch subpar, like I had today, and win.

I watched the camera crew set up and interview Ken Oberkfell. And why not. Ken had driven in four runs and the run support I had not gotten in Houston had been made up for in spades.

[vrobx1]

The team statistician informs me that a)I have now pitched enough innings for my ERA to qualify among the league leaders and that b) at 3.14, it is the best on the team. Just above Kirk McCaskill's 3.15.

What?

We closed out the series in San Francisco with an 8-4 win, taking three out of four from the Giants. We ended the road trip with a 7-6 record.

But we were 6-1 against Atlanta and San Francisco and just 1-5 against the Expos and Astros.

We would then host the Dodgers for just two games.

LA's lead over us was still six and a half.

You guessed it.

I hate the Dodgers.

[vrobx1]

I spent the next day writing home. Thanking everyone who had come out to see me pitch in the Astrodome.

Despite the final score, that had been the most memorable night of my career.

I went out to mail the letters and found I had a package at the post office waiting for me.

I took it back to the apartment.

Opened it.

What the ....what?

What in the....

Women's panties. Almost a whole box of them.

With no return address.

Gah!

Who the....?

What the...?

I quickly grabbed a trash bag and stuffed them all quickly into the bag and headed for the dumpster.

"What you got there, James?"

Kirk McCaskill hollered to me.

"Just some trash."

"Anything we can use?" Carmelo Martinez had joined the Watch Party.

"Uh, no."

Santiago was out as well.

All of them watching me carry a bag of trash out to the dumpster.

My Spidey Sense started to tingle.

"What are you guys looking at?"

"The slowest person to ever catch on," Tony Gwynn yelled out and they all started to laugh.

"You sorry mother...."

I hurled the bag of panties at the group and they all scattered, laughing the entire time.

"Welcome to the Padres, James," Chris Speier said as he patted me on the back.

"Damn. You got me. You really got me."

[vrobx1]

The middle of June and we were already losing hope in catching the Dodgers.

They were just too powerful.

Los Angeles won the first game of the short series 5-0.

Orel Hershiser allowed one hit and one walk. That was all the base runners we would get.

Over 33,000 showed up the next night as our fans made sure we didn't lose both games to the Dodgers.

Don't tell them, or us, there is no such thing as a must-win in June.

We could not fall eight and a half back.

We hit four home runs that night. Carmelo Martinez had two of them.

And we came out on top 6-2.

Still six and a half back.

We had the worst team in baseball next for four games at home.

The San Francisco Giants.

We scored five runs in the seventh to overcome a 4-2 deficit with Gwynn hitting a three run homer in the inning. It was just enough to lift us to an 8-6 win.

Almost 36,000 were in the stands the next night. We scored five in the first to take a 5-1 lead. The Giants came back with five in the top of the fifth to take a 6-5 lead. We scored two in the bottom of the sixth to retake the lead and then added two more in the eighth to put it away.

Except for one problem.

The Giants scored three in the top of the ninth to tie it and send it to extra innings.

In the bottom of the eleventh, Jeff Hamilton led off with a single. Tony Barron was sent in to pinch run and he stole second. Willie McGee then singled him home for the walkoff.

10-9 Padres!

We were now five and a half back.

And it would be my turn to pitch the next night.

[vrobx1]

In 1984, Bill Jackson's first year as pitching coach in San Diego, the Padres finished 76-86.

10 games below .500.

They improved to 83-79 in 1985.

In 1986, they improved again, going 89-73.

And, we were on pace to improve once again.

Now, I am not saying Coach Jackson was the only or even main reason for the constant improvement in our winning percentage but he was a huge part of it.

"Okay, James, you have faced the Giants a couple of times now. So, they are going to start getting a feel for your pitches. We're going to need to mix speeds and locations. But you have to keep command. Don't give them anything easy to hit. Make them work for it."

Over 35,000 fans had come to Jack Murphy Stadium to see the game.

The win was blowing in. Not a strong win but I'd take anything I could get.

The first batter, Brady Anderson, fouled off four straight pitches before doubling down the left field line on a fastball low and away. Then, I struck out Robby Thompson on three pitches. Mu 40th K of my career. Rob Deer then popped a high, inside full count fastball up for the third out.

The Giants got a pair of singles in the second but John Rabb grounded into the 6-4-3 to retire the side.

I couldn't get out of the third unscathed. A walk to Anderson led to a run.

In the bottom of the third, the Giants had committed an error and I came to bat with a runner on second and one out and us trailing 1-0.

And I popped out on the very first pitch.

We would strand the runner at second as we were hitless through three innings and still trailed 1-0.

I started the fourth off by striking out Bob Brenly on three pitches. I then fell behind Albert Hall 3-1 before a low curve caught the inside corner and he grounded it to second for out number two. Then, John Rabb swung and missed a full count fastball that was thigh high across the middle.

Three up three down.

Hopefully that would wake the offense up.

And, we did. Bennie got a two run single to give us the lead.

Their pitcher led off the fifth and I set him down for my fifth strikeout of the game.

Brady Anderson was next and once again he started fouling off two strike pitches.

Before grounding a single into left.

He was really starting to annoy me!

He then stole second to make it even worse.

I struck Thompson out on three pitches for the second out.

But then Jack Clark singled home Anderson to tie the game.

I then struck out Rob Deer on three pitches.

The most unsatisfying striking out the side of my career.

I came to bat in the bottom of the fifth with two on and nobody out. I got ahead 1-0 and then their pitcher fooled me with a curve as I took an ugly swing.

Crack!

The ball headed into center field.

And dropped.

Rolling to the wall.

"Run, James!"

I rounded first and went into second standing up with a double as the crowd cheered.

It was only our second hit as a team.

Willie McGee came to bat and singled down the right field line.

"Run, James!"

I rounded third and headed home to score the go-ahead run!

Now, I needed to pitch well enough to keep the lead.

At least I wouldn't be facing that damn Brady Anderson this inning.

I went up 0-2 on Chris Brown and ended up with my eighth strikeout of the game. Bob Brenly and Albert Hall each then grounded out, with Hall bouncing his back to me.

Three up three down.

"Gwynn. Kruk. Santiago! Time to break this game open!"

Alas, a leadoff single by Gwynn was all we got.

After six, we still led 3-2.

The top of the seventh. Brady Anderson was set to be the third hitter.

John Rabb missed the 2-2 fastball and I had my ninth strikeout!

"I'm coming for your record, Nolan," I chuckled to myself.

They kept their pitcher in the game. He was totally fooled and checked his swing on a 102 slider that ended up right over the heart of the plate.

10 K!

And then it was Brady Anderson.

The one guy who had hurt me all game.

I came low with a fastball, took some mustard off it, it was about mid 80s. Over the inside edge of the plate.

Fooled him!

He bounced it just a few feet in front of Bennie.

The footrace was never in doubt.

Santiago fielded the ball and Anderson was an easy out.

Three up three down!

Carmelo Martinez led off the bottom of the eighth with a double. Pete Stanicek then lined out to short.

And Terry Kennedy took my turn at bat.

I was only going seven tonight.

Leaving with the lead, having given up just two runs while striking out ten.

Kennedy grounded Martinez over to third but McGee flew out to center and our lead was still just one.

Mike Henneman took the mound in the eighth and gave up a two out home run to Deer and there went my shot at getting the win.

Ken Oberkfell put us back in the lead with an RBI single in the bottom of the eighth.

The Giants then loaded the bases with two out before Mitch Williams struck out Robby Thompson to end the game.

We had pulled it out 4-3.

Every game against the Giants have been tough this series but we had found a way to win them all.

"James!"

Coach Jackson shook my hand.

"The tv crew wants to talk to you."

Again?

Uff.

"Better get used to it, James. I have a feeling this is going to be happening a lot for you."

I looked dead into Coach Jackson's eyes.

"You're going to be a great one, kid. If you just keep doing what you are doing!"